{"id":303491,"date":"2015-05-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-05-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/considering-remarriage\/"},"modified":"2015-05-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-05-13T15:00:00","slug":"considering-remarriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/considering-remarriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Considering Remarriage"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It was difficult for Sabrina to keep the promise to her late husband, to remarry after his death.  But today she is Sabrina McDonald. Her new husband, Robbie, joins her to tell their story.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-05-13.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"27.78M","filesize_raw":"29132306","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2859,2882],"tags":[5062,4737,2560,5652,4033,2877,5276,4282],"podcast_series":[8077],"cwp_profile":[8839,3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303491","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-and-preparing-for-marriage","category-developing-a-relationship-with-stepchildren","tag-adultery","tag-being-single","tag-blended-families","tag-blended-family-problems","tag-divorce","tag-marriage","tag-stepfamilies","tag-widow","podcast_series-a-second-love-story","cwp_profile-robbie-and-sabrina-mcdonald","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303491\/considering-remarriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303491\/considering-remarriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"oyrx7lXxii\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/considering-remarriage\/\">Considering Remarriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/considering-remarriage\/embed\/#?secret=oyrx7lXxii\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Considering Remarriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"oyrx7lXxii\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-05-13.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-05-13.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a young wife and mother of two small children, Sabrina Beasley remembers her husband, David, ask her to make an unusual promise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Many times he told me that, if anything ever happened to him, he wanted me to remarry again\u2014he wanted that for his children. He felt like he was missing something in his life by not having a father. Honestly, we had had a conversation just a couple of days \/ maybe the day before he died. Of course, he had no idea he was going to die. It was just the sovereignty of God to give me peace of mind that this was okay for me to do. He actually said to me, \u201cPromise me that, if anything ever happens to me, you will get married again and have a father for my children.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, May 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Keeping the promise she made to her husband was difficult for Sabrina Beasley, but today she is Sabrina McDonald. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll meet Sabrina and her husband on our program. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I see that you have brought Dr. Deal in the studio with us today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ron Deal joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Ron, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Thank you\u2014always good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I called you Dr. Deal\u2014it\u2019s not officially Dr. Deal; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But I\u2019m going to call you Dr. Deal because this is kind of\u2014we\u2019re going to have a little checkup today; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Exactly! We\u2019re going to be talking about relationships in blended families and how they adjust and change over time. Actually, we\u2019re going to let the real experts talk, here in a minute, and teach the rest of us how it works.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you have to be excited.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have a book that you wrote, about four years ago, that is being rereleased. It\u2019s called <em>The Smart Stepfamily Marriage. <\/em>You\u2019re excited about this because this is going to help a lot of folks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Absolutely. This book was the result of a research project that I did with Dr. David Olson. We studied over 50,000 couples, who had formed relationships in creating a stepfamily. We looked at the strengths of their relationships and the weaknesses. We pulled this book together around how you build strength into your couple\u2019s relationship. It\u2019s a very practical book. It can be used in churches, with a small group study guide; and we\u2019re just thrilled to be able to share it with people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You also have a brand-new feature\u2014a radio feature that\u2019s out on a number of stations. How\u2019s that going?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>It\u2019s going very well. <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> is a sixty-second daily feature, that\u2019s heard around the country, on various stations and outlets. If you\u2019re not hearing it in your neck of the woods, you can call your radio station, right now, and ask them to carry it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There you go! They need to be doing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, you brought some guests with you into the studio today. Introduce our guests, Ron.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I\u2019d be happy to. Sabrina\u2014formerly Beasley, now McDonald\u2014was married and had two children. Your first husband passed away, tragically, in a car accident. You\u2019re here today with Robbie, your new husband. Robbie McDonald is a sergeant in the Army National Guard. Your first spouse \/ your wife passed away as well. Let me just kind of set our timeline for our conversation today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 2010, Sabrina, your husband passed away in a car accident. In 2011, Carrie, your wife, Robbie, died of cancer. In 2012, Sabrina was on this broadcast, talking with Bob, and Dennis, and I about a book I had written called <em>Dating and the Single Parent<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, you remember being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> talking about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes, definitely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What are your memories of that time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Well, you know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s refresh your memory! [Laughter] You\u2019re not doing really well coming up with memories. So, Keith, why don\u2019t you just kind of give us a little sampling of what Sabrina said back in 2012?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>This is <em>not<\/em> going to be the same situation\u2014this is a different person \/ a different relationship\u2014a different scenario. When you don\u2019t have any children, the relationship is one-on-one; but then, when you have children\u2014if you think about it like a spider web or a string\u2014and you just keep attaching, and attaching, and attaching between the different relationships\u2014there\u2019s a <em>whole web<\/em> to consider: \u201cNow, how is this going to affect my children? How is this going to affect everything?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEverything is <em>different<\/em> the second time around. When I met my husband, I didn\u2019t have any children; now, I have two more lives that are completely affected by this other person I bring in. If he has children, their lives are affected by my children \/ by me. It\u2019s just an entire web of situations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Current Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, at that point, Sabrina, had you met Robbie?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>No, I had not met him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Were you dating? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>No!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You were just a single mom \/ two kids, wondering if you\u2019d ever date or marry again?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes. I was definitely looking. I mean, I had looked a lot. I actually met Robbie on the internet. [Laughter] I\u2019m not even sure if I was signed up, at that point; but I was definitely contemplating it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I just have to back up here\u2014you had looked a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I was kind of wondering about that, too, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Where, and how, and\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Everywhere! [Laughter] My first husband was raised by a single mom, and his father was killed in a car accident. Many times, he told me that, if anything ever happened to him, he wanted me to remarry again\u2014he wanted that for his children. He felt like he was missing something in his life by not having a father. Honestly, we had had a conversation just a couple of days \/ maybe the day before he died. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, he had no idea he was going to die. It was just the sovereignty of God to give me peace of mind that this was okay for me to do. He actually said to me, \u201cPromise me that, if anything ever happens to me, you will get married again and have a father for my children.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had no idea, at that moment, that anything like that would <em>ever happen<\/em>. So, when he died, not only was <em>I <\/em>looking for someone, but his family was extremely supportive. They found several suitors for me. [Laughter] I had people looking for me everywhere\u2014I told all my friends: \u201cListen, I\u2019m a single mom. I don\u2019t have time to go out and date.\u201d I said: \u201cIf you know somebody, you bring him to me because I know you know me\u2014you\u2019ll have a filter. You know the kind of person I\u2019m looking for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, and we ought to say here, Sabrina, who worked, here at FamilyLife, for a number of years\u2014Sabrina is a spiritually-mature woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the filter\u2014the kind of person you were looking for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, she wasn\u2019t just being frantic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is not just any apple off the tree\u2014this is somebody who has to meet a pretty high standard for you to even have any interest in him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Absolutely. David and I\u2014my first husband and I\u2014we had a <em>wonderful <\/em>relationship. I mean, we were very happily married\u2014probably happier on the day he died than ever. I mean, we were married for seven years. It was a very happy, healthy relationship, built on the principles of Christ. I did <em>not think<\/em> I would be able to find someone to that standard. So, my standards were really, really high. I was looking for someone who could fill that hole.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>One of the things that impressed me about you, on that prior broadcast, is that quote we just listened to. You were expecting and anticipating that dating again, with children involved, would be an entirely different process. When it\u2019s just two people, that\u2019s one thing; but when it\u2019s children and a crowd\u2014that would be another. So, shortly thereafter, you do meet Rob; and you guys do start dating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, before you go there, I have to have you comment\u2014because you wrote a book for a person, like Sabrina; didn\u2019t you?\u2014who is thinking about remarrying and needing to count the cost.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You talking about <em>Dating and the Single Parent<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I am; I am. Just comment, if you would, about how Sabrina was handling herself, at that point, and what you said in your book that would have helped her, at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Candidly, one of the reasons I wanted her on that broadcast is because she had a very insightful perspective\u2014as a single mom \/ as somebody who was being set up by all the friends and family\u2014and, at the same time, open to a new relationship. She had a very mature perspective about, \u201cThis is going to be different.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s where a lot of people get blind-sighted. In <em>Dating and the Single Parent<\/em>, we take great caution to tell people: \u201cHey, it\u2019s a different process. It\u2019s not just like falling in love with another person. You have to learn how to be a family; and there are other things to consider, as you\u2019re going through the dating process.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I\u2019d love to do now is just kind of have you reflect\u2014you had that opinion, back then, and then you actually experienced it\u2014and to the point of sitting here today, being married. What did you learn? What would you say to yourself, if you could talk to yourself, a couple of years ago\u2014is there anything you\u2019ve learned that you would say to yourself?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Well, first of all, because we had discussed it and I was already coming into it from that perspective. So, when I would meet single men, oftentimes, I would consider how they would be around my children. For example, a young man came by, really right after the funeral, and was bringing me a meal. He was a single man, and a lot of people had suggested him. He was with my children; and I thought, \u201cHe just doesn\u2019t know how to identify with my son.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe seemed okay with a newborn baby; but as a two-and-a-half-year-old\u2014he didn\u2019t know how to interact with him \/ he didn\u2019t seem comfortable with a toddler. Immediately, I thought, \u201cWell, he\u2019s gone because he has to be a dad\u2014number one.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were others that I looked at that just didn\u2019t have the type of quality I want for someone to be the father of my children\u2014and not that there was anything wrong with them, as individuals\u2014but they just didn\u2019t seem to be like a dad. They seemed to need a parent\u2014they were more immature. Even if they were in their mid-30s, they were acting more adolescent. I wanted someone who was more of a mature person to be with my children. So, there were guys I rejected simply for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ron, you wrote the book; but what I hear\u2014from what Sabrina is saying here\u2014is she wasn\u2019t just thinking, as a single-parent mom, who\u2019s lonely. She\u2019s looking out for the good of the whole, at this point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>And that is the balance that single parents need to have. You\u2019re not just looking at a partner for you\u2014but you\u2019re looking at it from a family perspective\u2014father to your children, in your case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSabrina elevated the question about their role as a father and the entire role as a family unit as being equal with, \u201cDo I like this person, as a man?\u201d It\u2019s not just one question \/ it is many questions, and she did that <em>extremely well.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to go to the night, when the kids were in bed, and you said: \u201cOkay, I\u2019m finally getting out my credit card. I\u2019m finally typing it in, and I\u2019m finally going on this internet service.\u201d [Laughter] Because that had to be\u2014you had to swallow hard\u2014go, \u201cDo I really want to do this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes. It\u2019s scary to think about whom you might meet, and opening yourself up to the world, and going, \u201cDo I really want to do that?\u201d You have no idea. It\u2019s scary because you, as a woman\u2014you want a protector\u2014you\u2019re not used to being the protector. When you\u2019re a single mom, you have to play a role of both nurturer and protector, and I had to think about protecting my children from strange men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it was a <em>very difficult<\/em> decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to turn to Robbie and go\u2014we were talking to her about her credit card coming out. What motivated you to go, online, to do the same?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Not being able to meet people because you don\u2019t go to the places to meet people. The only places that I had to meet people were the grocery store or the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m guessing you had met every single woman at church; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>I kind of put that as an off-limits place because of the fact that this is my church\u2014I\u2019m a deacon in the church. If something did not go right in the relationship, I didn\u2019t want that to be a burden, at church\u2014and have to look at the person or the congregation, looking at me, saying, \u201cThis person did something wrong.\u201d So, that\u2019s how I thought there\u2014so that was an off-limits area. There were women at the church who approached me, but I kind of didn\u2019t let that happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>You held to your boundary, at that point, and said, \u201cNo, this is not a good idea.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Good for you, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>I love my church, and I wanted to stay there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have to ask: \u201cWho pinged who first on this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, you know\u2014he pinged her!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know that! [Laughter] You just heard Sabrina say she was looking all over the place!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I know, but I also know Sabrina. [Laughter] She\u2019s not going to be pinging anybody\u2014they\u2019re going to have to ping her. I just wonder what you saw in the profile that caused you to go, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m sending her an email.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now be honest\u2014was it the picture? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>The picture is a starting point, yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s the right answer, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>The fact that she\u2019s a writer\u2014and the things she wrote on her profile and the way she wrote them\u2014had me intrigued. The fact that she was a Christian writer was something that I really looked at.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>I was overtly Christian on my profile. That got rid of a lot of people. No one\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s a way to filter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>I really liked that part too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s the kind of person I was looking for\u2014the one that would be attracted to that. So, it worked.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What was the first ping? What did you say \/ what did you do? Is it just a box you check?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>I think the first thing I said was: \u201cI read your profile. I think you really need to look at my profile and go from there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you looked at his profile?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>I looked at his profile. I saw that he was ten years older than me, and that he had a 23-year-old son and a 14-year-old son. I said, \u201cUh, [Laughter] no.\u201d But I saw that he was widowed. So, I thought, \u201cWell, I understand how that feels, and it\u2019s hard to start over again.\u201d So, I said: \u201cWell, it wouldn\u2019t hurt to meet him. I have lots of friends that are his age.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAnd if nothing else, I could just introduce him to one of them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt this point, we had talked several times. So, I knew a little about him\u2014I knew he was\u2014said he was a good person \/ he had a testimony. You know, you have to take all of these things sort of at face value until you meet the person and can really read their body language and all those things. Because you can sit down and think about a reply to an email for an hour, you know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And the first date was?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>The first date we went to YaYa\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Ya-Ya\u2019s is a restaurant\u2014nice restaurant, here in town.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes. I remember\u2014when he got out of the car, I went, \u201cOh! Well he\u2019s a little more handsome than I thought he was.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That picture didn\u2019t do you justice, Robbie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Yes, I didn\u2019t do a very good job. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>So we walked into the restaurant and sat down. I said, \u201cI feel like I know you already.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you walk out that first night, going, \u201cShe\u2019s the one\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>I had a feeling, before we even met, that she was the one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just from the phone conversations?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Just from the phone conversations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, did you walk out from that first dinner, going, \u201cMaybe he\u2019s the one\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>No. I walked out, saying, \u201cHe is a really nice guy, but our circumstances are too different.\u201d I mean, his oldest son was getting married. I told him, \u201cWithin five years, I could be a grandmother; and I have a two-year-old and a four-year-old.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>You didn\u2019t see yourself dealing with that kind of life circumstances?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Not at all\u2014not at all. I told him, \u201cAbsolutely not.\u201d He was <em>so nice<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hold it. You told him, \u201cAbsolutely not\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes. I\u2019m wondering, \u201cHow do you go from \u2018not\u2019 to \u2018okay\u2019\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, he works for the army\u2014so he\u2019s all about challenge. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThis is battle time,\u201d\u2014so he has his fatigues on \/ he\u2019s coming after you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>He worked hard! I\u2019ve never seen a man work so hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How long between \u201cabsolutely not\u201d to \u201cmaybe\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Seven months.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>No, that\u2019s till \u201cI do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Seven months till \u201cI do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Seven months till \u201cI do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cAbsolutely not\u201d to \u201cmaybe\u201d was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>\u2014about six weeks\u2014maybe a little less than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And what happened, over six weeks, to shift from \u201cnot\u201d to \u201cmaybe\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>He really pursued me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did he wear his uniform? I just want to know if he wore his uniform as he pursued you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know\u2014yes\/no\u2014not as you were pursuing me. I don\u2019t know\u2014I don\u2019t think you did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Yes; the first time I wore my uniform with you was when I met your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes. And I had already decided \u201cyes,\u201d at that point, because he wasn\u2019t going to meet my kids until I was, at least, on the \u201cmaybe.\u201d He worked really hard. He would send me\u2014I told him \u201cAbsolutely not!\u201d \u201cNo way,\u201d \u201cNever again,\u201d\u2014and he just kept sending messages\/texting me and really asking me about myself\u2014what\u2014every day. He got on one thing where he started asking me:\u201cI want to learn something new about you every day. Send me something new about yourself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was very charming, you know, that someone wanted to know so much about me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the same time, I was going to the church singles\u2019 group\u2014there were a lot of young people there. I guess I have a young-looking face because I would have people, ten years younger than me, trying to ask me on dates; and they didn\u2019t know anything about my life. I had had another totally different life that they had never even experienced. I felt like I was an old woman, from having gone through this experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought: \u201cHere are these 23-year-olds, hitting on me\u2014no idea\u2014and here\u2019s this wonderful godly man, and I\u2019m rejecting him simply because of his circumstances.\u201d I kept thinking about the Scripture that says, \u201cMan looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.\u201d I said, \u201cHere is a man who is godly\u2014he loves the Lord \/ he has a good relationship with his kids,\u201d\u2014that was a big one for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother one was\u2014I met his son. I said: \u201cI can\u2019t marry somebody with a teenager. He\u2019ll hate me\u2014I\u2019m not his mom.\u201d He said: \u201cThat\u2019s not fair. You haven\u2019t met my son.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d I met Seth and absolutely loved him. He had a certain maturity about him. He wasn\u2019t a silly kid, sitting around with his earphones on, listening to music and being sassy. He respected his father. I thought, \u201cIf he has a good relationship with his dad, then this man could raise my children to be the same kind of kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>If Seth were sitting here, right now, and we asked him, \u201cSo, what was it like to meet Sabrina?\u201d what do you think he would say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Well, I asked him, later on. That\u2019s one thing that\u2019s interesting about our family\u2014is that we all have an understanding. There\u2019s not really\u2014talking about his mom is not off-limits \/ talking about his dad having other relationships is not off-limits\u2014because he knows I understand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe told me that what he liked about me was that I didn\u2019t try to be his mom. I had experienced loss myself, and I understood where it is that he\u2019s coming from. So, we have a very good relationship, he and I.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What hits me about this story is that, although you were dating Robbie, you were checking out all the relationships that were a part of the web that you described back in 2012.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And Ron, that\u2019s key; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s absolutely key. That sort of wisdom is what gives blended families a running start in a healthy direction versus trying to step in and replace\u2014running over the grief of children or just ignoring that the kids are part of the package deal to begin with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I\u2019d encourage anybody, who\u2019s in a dating relationship or maybe already married, to pick up some of Ron\u2019s resources, especially this most recent about <em>The Smart Stepfamily Marriage<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, this is an opportunity for couples to really dig into the dynamics of a marriage relationship and give themselves a checkup as they either consider marriage or as they begin a blended family. Maybe you\u2019ve been in a blended relationship for a number of years and you\u2019d just like to kind of do an inventory and say, \u201cHow are we doing, and where are the areas where we can strengthen and improve our marriage relationship?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon Deal\u2019s book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily Marriage<\/em>, is a book that we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can request a copy when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Again, the title of the book is <em>The Smart Stepfamily Marriage<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that we have Ron Deal\u2019s video series on <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em> available for couples who\u2019d like to go through this on your own or maybe you\u2019d like to form a small group and go through this material. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind the resources we\u2019re talking about when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link at the top left corner of the page that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Look for information about <em>The Smart Stepfamily Marriage<\/em> book and <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em> DVD series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s also information available there about the upcoming 2015 Blended and Blessed<sup>\u2122<\/sup> Summit on stepfamily ministry that\u2019s being held November 13 and 14 at Mariners Church in Irvine, California. This is an event that is open to anyone who is interested in either launching a stepfamily ministry in your church, or maybe, you\u2019re already engaged in some kind of blended family ministry and you\u2019d like to network with others who are also involved. Find out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the \u201cGO DEEPER\u201d link. Look for information on the Blended and Blessed Summit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, some of our listeners have already heard about the exciting opportunity that\u2019s been made available to us, here at FamilyLife, during the month of May. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have some friends of the ministry who feel strongly about what we\u2019re doing, here at FamilyLife. They agree with us that the need of couples and families, in our culture today, is probably the most critical need facing our society. They\u2019ve linked arms with us as we try to provide practical biblical help for marriages and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, this group of friends has agreed that they will match every donation that we receive, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $300,000. We have a great opportunity for any donation you make to be doubled in its impact. We\u2019d like to ask you to consider going online, or calling, or mailing a donation to us, here at FamilyLife, knowing that your donation\u2019s impact will be doubled during the month of May. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can easily donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click the link in the upper right-hand corner that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us tomorrow as we\u2019re going to continue our conversation with Robbie and Sabrina McDonald, talking about the blending of their family. We\u2019ll talk about the impact that blending had on Sabrina\u2019s kids tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.78M"],"filesize_raw":["29132306"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303491.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303491.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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was difficult for Sabrina to keep the promise to her late husband, to remarry after his death. But today she is Sabrina McDonald. Her new husband, Robbie, joins her to tell their story.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-05-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a young wife and mother of two small children, Sabrina Beasley remembers her husband, David, ask her to make an unusual promise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Many times he told me that, if anything ever happened to him, he wanted me to remarry again\u2014he wanted that for his children. He felt like he was missing something in his life by not having a father. Honestly, we had had a conversation just a couple of days \/ maybe the day before he died. Of course, he had no idea he was going to die. It was just the sovereignty of God to give me peace of mind that this was okay for me to do. He actually said to me, \u201cPromise me that, if anything ever happens to me, you will get married again and have a father for my children.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, May 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Keeping the promise she made to her husband was difficult for Sabrina Beasley, but today she is Sabrina McDonald. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll meet Sabrina and her husband on our program. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I see that you have brought Dr. Deal in the studio with us today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ron Deal joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Ron, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Thank you\u2014always good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I called you Dr. Deal\u2014it\u2019s not officially Dr. Deal; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But I\u2019m going to call you Dr. Deal because this is kind of\u2014we\u2019re going to have a little checkup today; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Exactly! We\u2019re going to be talking about relationships in blended families and how they adjust and change over time. Actually, we\u2019re going to let the real experts talk, here in a minute, and teach the rest of us how it works.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you have to be excited.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have a book that you wrote, about four years ago, that is being rereleased. It\u2019s called <em>The Smart Stepfamily Marriage. <\/em>You\u2019re excited about this because this is going to help a lot of folks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Absolutely. This book was the result of a research project that I did with Dr. David Olson. We studied over 50,000 couples, who had formed relationships in creating a stepfamily. We looked at the strengths of their relationships and the weaknesses. We pulled this book together around how you build strength into your couple\u2019s relationship. It\u2019s a very practical book. It can be used in churches, with a small group study guide; and we\u2019re just thrilled to be able to share it with people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You also have a brand-new feature\u2014a radio feature that\u2019s out on a number of stations. How\u2019s that going?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>It\u2019s going very well. <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> is a sixty-second daily feature, that\u2019s heard around the country, on various stations and outlets. If you\u2019re not hearing it in your neck of the woods, you can call your radio station, right now, and ask them to carry it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There you go! They need to be doing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, you brought some guests with you into the studio today. Introduce our guests, Ron.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I\u2019d be happy to. Sabrina\u2014formerly Beasley, now McDonald\u2014was married and had two children. Your first husband passed away, tragically, in a car accident. You\u2019re here today with Robbie, your new husband. Robbie McDonald is a sergeant in the Army National Guard. Your first spouse \/ your wife passed away as well. Let me just kind of set our timeline for our conversation today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 2010, Sabrina, your husband passed away in a car accident. In 2011, Carrie, your wife, Robbie, died of cancer. In 2012, Sabrina was on this broadcast, talking with Bob, and Dennis, and I about a book I had written called <em>Dating and the Single Parent<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, you remember being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> talking about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes, definitely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What are your memories of that time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Well, you know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s refresh your memory! [Laughter] You\u2019re not doing really well coming up with memories. So, Keith, why don\u2019t you just kind of give us a little sampling of what Sabrina said back in 2012?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>This is <em>not<\/em> going to be the same situation\u2014this is a different person \/ a different relationship\u2014a different scenario. When you don\u2019t have any children, the relationship is one-on-one; but then, when you have children\u2014if you think about it like a spider web or a string\u2014and you just keep attaching, and attaching, and attaching between the different relationships\u2014there\u2019s a <em>whole web<\/em> to consider: \u201cNow, how is this going to affect my children? How is this going to affect everything?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEverything is <em>different<\/em> the second time around. When I met my husband, I didn\u2019t have any children; now, I have two more lives that are completely affected by this other person I bring in. If he has children, their lives are affected by my children \/ by me. It\u2019s just an entire web of situations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Current Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, at that point, Sabrina, had you met Robbie?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>No, I had not met him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Were you dating? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>No!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You were just a single mom \/ two kids, wondering if you\u2019d ever date or marry again?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes. I was definitely looking. I mean, I had looked a lot. I actually met Robbie on the internet. [Laughter] I\u2019m not even sure if I was signed up, at that point; but I was definitely contemplating it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I just have to back up here\u2014you had looked a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I was kind of wondering about that, too, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Where, and how, and\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Everywhere! [Laughter] My first husband was raised by a single mom, and his father was killed in a car accident. Many times, he told me that, if anything ever happened to him, he wanted me to remarry again\u2014he wanted that for his children. He felt like he was missing something in his life by not having a father. Honestly, we had had a conversation just a couple of days \/ maybe the day before he died. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, he had no idea he was going to die. It was just the sovereignty of God to give me peace of mind that this was okay for me to do. He actually said to me, \u201cPromise me that, if anything ever happens to me, you will get married again and have a father for my children.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had no idea, at that moment, that anything like that would <em>ever happen<\/em>. So, when he died, not only was <em>I <\/em>looking for someone, but his family was extremely supportive. They found several suitors for me. [Laughter] I had people looking for me everywhere\u2014I told all my friends: \u201cListen, I\u2019m a single mom. I don\u2019t have time to go out and date.\u201d I said: \u201cIf you know somebody, you bring him to me because I know you know me\u2014you\u2019ll have a filter. You know the kind of person I\u2019m looking for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, and we ought to say here, Sabrina, who worked, here at FamilyLife, for a number of years\u2014Sabrina is a spiritually-mature woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the filter\u2014the kind of person you were looking for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, she wasn\u2019t just being frantic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is not just any apple off the tree\u2014this is somebody who has to meet a pretty high standard for you to even have any interest in him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Absolutely. David and I\u2014my first husband and I\u2014we had a <em>wonderful <\/em>relationship. I mean, we were very happily married\u2014probably happier on the day he died than ever. I mean, we were married for seven years. It was a very happy, healthy relationship, built on the principles of Christ. I did <em>not think<\/em> I would be able to find someone to that standard. So, my standards were really, really high. I was looking for someone who could fill that hole.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>One of the things that impressed me about you, on that prior broadcast, is that quote we just listened to. You were expecting and anticipating that dating again, with children involved, would be an entirely different process. When it\u2019s just two people, that\u2019s one thing; but when it\u2019s children and a crowd\u2014that would be another. So, shortly thereafter, you do meet Rob; and you guys do start dating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, before you go there, I have to have you comment\u2014because you wrote a book for a person, like Sabrina; didn\u2019t you?\u2014who is thinking about remarrying and needing to count the cost.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You talking about <em>Dating and the Single Parent<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I am; I am. Just comment, if you would, about how Sabrina was handling herself, at that point, and what you said in your book that would have helped her, at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Candidly, one of the reasons I wanted her on that broadcast is because she had a very insightful perspective\u2014as a single mom \/ as somebody who was being set up by all the friends and family\u2014and, at the same time, open to a new relationship. She had a very mature perspective about, \u201cThis is going to be different.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s where a lot of people get blind-sighted. In <em>Dating and the Single Parent<\/em>, we take great caution to tell people: \u201cHey, it\u2019s a different process. It\u2019s not just like falling in love with another person. You have to learn how to be a family; and there are other things to consider, as you\u2019re going through the dating process.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I\u2019d love to do now is just kind of have you reflect\u2014you had that opinion, back then, and then you actually experienced it\u2014and to the point of sitting here today, being married. What did you learn? What would you say to yourself, if you could talk to yourself, a couple of years ago\u2014is there anything you\u2019ve learned that you would say to yourself?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Well, first of all, because we had discussed it and I was already coming into it from that perspective. So, when I would meet single men, oftentimes, I would consider how they would be around my children. For example, a young man came by, really right after the funeral, and was bringing me a meal. He was a single man, and a lot of people had suggested him. He was with my children; and I thought, \u201cHe just doesn\u2019t know how to identify with my son.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe seemed okay with a newborn baby; but as a two-and-a-half-year-old\u2014he didn\u2019t know how to interact with him \/ he didn\u2019t seem comfortable with a toddler. Immediately, I thought, \u201cWell, he\u2019s gone because he has to be a dad\u2014number one.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were others that I looked at that just didn\u2019t have the type of quality I want for someone to be the father of my children\u2014and not that there was anything wrong with them, as individuals\u2014but they just didn\u2019t seem to be like a dad. They seemed to need a parent\u2014they were more immature. Even if they were in their mid-30s, they were acting more adolescent. I wanted someone who was more of a mature person to be with my children. So, there were guys I rejected simply for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ron, you wrote the book; but what I hear\u2014from what Sabrina is saying here\u2014is she wasn\u2019t just thinking, as a single-parent mom, who\u2019s lonely. She\u2019s looking out for the good of the whole, at this point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>And that is the balance that single parents need to have. You\u2019re not just looking at a partner for you\u2014but you\u2019re looking at it from a family perspective\u2014father to your children, in your case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSabrina elevated the question about their role as a father and the entire role as a family unit as being equal with, \u201cDo I like this person, as a man?\u201d It\u2019s not just one question \/ it is many questions, and she did that <em>extremely well.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to go to the night, when the kids were in bed, and you said: \u201cOkay, I\u2019m finally getting out my credit card. I\u2019m finally typing it in, and I\u2019m finally going on this internet service.\u201d [Laughter] Because that had to be\u2014you had to swallow hard\u2014go, \u201cDo I really want to do this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes. It\u2019s scary to think about whom you might meet, and opening yourself up to the world, and going, \u201cDo I really want to do that?\u201d You have no idea. It\u2019s scary because you, as a woman\u2014you want a protector\u2014you\u2019re not used to being the protector. When you\u2019re a single mom, you have to play a role of both nurturer and protector, and I had to think about protecting my children from strange men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it was a <em>very difficult<\/em> decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to turn to Robbie and go\u2014we were talking to her about her credit card coming out. What motivated you to go, online, to do the same?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Not being able to meet people because you don\u2019t go to the places to meet people. The only places that I had to meet people were the grocery store or the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m guessing you had met every single woman at church; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>I kind of put that as an off-limits place because of the fact that this is my church\u2014I\u2019m a deacon in the church. If something did not go right in the relationship, I didn\u2019t want that to be a burden, at church\u2014and have to look at the person or the congregation, looking at me, saying, \u201cThis person did something wrong.\u201d So, that\u2019s how I thought there\u2014so that was an off-limits area. There were women at the church who approached me, but I kind of didn\u2019t let that happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>You held to your boundary, at that point, and said, \u201cNo, this is not a good idea.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Good for you, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>I love my church, and I wanted to stay there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have to ask: \u201cWho pinged who first on this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, you know\u2014he pinged her!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know that! [Laughter] You just heard Sabrina say she was looking all over the place!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I know, but I also know Sabrina. [Laughter] She\u2019s not going to be pinging anybody\u2014they\u2019re going to have to ping her. I just wonder what you saw in the profile that caused you to go, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m sending her an email.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now be honest\u2014was it the picture? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>The picture is a starting point, yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s the right answer, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>The fact that she\u2019s a writer\u2014and the things she wrote on her profile and the way she wrote them\u2014had me intrigued. The fact that she was a Christian writer was something that I really looked at.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>I was overtly Christian on my profile. That got rid of a lot of people. No one\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s a way to filter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>I really liked that part too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s the kind of person I was looking for\u2014the one that would be attracted to that. So, it worked.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What was the first ping? What did you say \/ what did you do? Is it just a box you check?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>I think the first thing I said was: \u201cI read your profile. I think you really need to look at my profile and go from there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you looked at his profile?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>I looked at his profile. I saw that he was ten years older than me, and that he had a 23-year-old son and a 14-year-old son. I said, \u201cUh, [Laughter] no.\u201d But I saw that he was widowed. So, I thought, \u201cWell, I understand how that feels, and it\u2019s hard to start over again.\u201d So, I said: \u201cWell, it wouldn\u2019t hurt to meet him. I have lots of friends that are his age.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAnd if nothing else, I could just introduce him to one of them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt this point, we had talked several times. So, I knew a little about him\u2014I knew he was\u2014said he was a good person \/ he had a testimony. You know, you have to take all of these things sort of at face value until you meet the person and can really read their body language and all those things. Because you can sit down and think about a reply to an email for an hour, you know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And the first date was?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>The first date we went to YaYa\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Ya-Ya\u2019s is a restaurant\u2014nice restaurant, here in town.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes. I remember\u2014when he got out of the car, I went, \u201cOh! Well he\u2019s a little more handsome than I thought he was.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That picture didn\u2019t do you justice, Robbie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Yes, I didn\u2019t do a very good job. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>So we walked into the restaurant and sat down. I said, \u201cI feel like I know you already.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you walk out that first night, going, \u201cShe\u2019s the one\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>I had a feeling, before we even met, that she was the one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just from the phone conversations?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Just from the phone conversations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, did you walk out from that first dinner, going, \u201cMaybe he\u2019s the one\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>No. I walked out, saying, \u201cHe is a really nice guy, but our circumstances are too different.\u201d I mean, his oldest son was getting married. I told him, \u201cWithin five years, I could be a grandmother; and I have a two-year-old and a four-year-old.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>You didn\u2019t see yourself dealing with that kind of life circumstances?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Not at all\u2014not at all. I told him, \u201cAbsolutely not.\u201d He was <em>so nice<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hold it. You told him, \u201cAbsolutely not\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes. I\u2019m wondering, \u201cHow do you go from \u2018not\u2019 to \u2018okay\u2019\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, he works for the army\u2014so he\u2019s all about challenge. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThis is battle time,\u201d\u2014so he has his fatigues on \/ he\u2019s coming after you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>He worked hard! I\u2019ve never seen a man work so hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How long between \u201cabsolutely not\u201d to \u201cmaybe\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Seven months.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>No, that\u2019s till \u201cI do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Seven months till \u201cI do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Seven months till \u201cI do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cAbsolutely not\u201d to \u201cmaybe\u201d was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>\u2014about six weeks\u2014maybe a little less than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And what happened, over six weeks, to shift from \u201cnot\u201d to \u201cmaybe\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>He really pursued me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did he wear his uniform? I just want to know if he wore his uniform as he pursued you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know\u2014yes\/no\u2014not as you were pursuing me. I don\u2019t know\u2014I don\u2019t think you did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robbie: <\/strong>Yes; the first time I wore my uniform with you was when I met your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Yes. And I had already decided \u201cyes,\u201d at that point, because he wasn\u2019t going to meet my kids until I was, at least, on the \u201cmaybe.\u201d He worked really hard. He would send me\u2014I told him \u201cAbsolutely not!\u201d \u201cNo way,\u201d \u201cNever again,\u201d\u2014and he just kept sending messages\/texting me and really asking me about myself\u2014what\u2014every day. He got on one thing where he started asking me:\u201cI want to learn something new about you every day. Send me something new about yourself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was very charming, you know, that someone wanted to know so much about me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the same time, I was going to the church singles\u2019 group\u2014there were a lot of young people there. I guess I have a young-looking face because I would have people, ten years younger than me, trying to ask me on dates; and they didn\u2019t know anything about my life. I had had another totally different life that they had never even experienced. I felt like I was an old woman, from having gone through this experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought: \u201cHere are these 23-year-olds, hitting on me\u2014no idea\u2014and here\u2019s this wonderful godly man, and I\u2019m rejecting him simply because of his circumstances.\u201d I kept thinking about the Scripture that says, \u201cMan looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.\u201d I said, \u201cHere is a man who is godly\u2014he loves the Lord \/ he has a good relationship with his kids,\u201d\u2014that was a big one for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother one was\u2014I met his son. I said: \u201cI can\u2019t marry somebody with a teenager. He\u2019ll hate me\u2014I\u2019m not his mom.\u201d He said: \u201cThat\u2019s not fair. You haven\u2019t met my son.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d I met Seth and absolutely loved him. He had a certain maturity about him. He wasn\u2019t a silly kid, sitting around with his earphones on, listening to music and being sassy. He respected his father. I thought, \u201cIf he has a good relationship with his dad, then this man could raise my children to be the same kind of kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>If Seth were sitting here, right now, and we asked him, \u201cSo, what was it like to meet Sabrina?\u201d what do you think he would say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sabrina: <\/strong>Well, I asked him, later on. That\u2019s one thing that\u2019s interesting about our family\u2014is that we all have an understanding. There\u2019s not really\u2014talking about his mom is not off-limits \/ talking about his dad having other relationships is not off-limits\u2014because he knows I understand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe told me that what he liked about me was that I didn\u2019t try to be his mom. I had experienced loss myself, and I understood where it is that he\u2019s coming from. So, we have a very good relationship, he and I.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What hits me about this story is that, although you were dating Robbie, you were checking out all the relationships that were a part of the web that you described back in 2012.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And Ron, that\u2019s key; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s absolutely key. That sort of wisdom is what gives blended families a running start in a healthy direction versus trying to step in and replace\u2014running over the grief of children or just ignoring that the kids are part of the package deal to begin with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I\u2019d encourage anybody, who\u2019s in a dating relationship or maybe already married, to pick up some of Ron\u2019s resources, especially this most recent about <em>The Smart Stepfamily Marriage<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, this is an opportunity for couples to really dig into the dynamics of a marriage relationship and give themselves a checkup as they either consider marriage or as they begin a blended family. Maybe you\u2019ve been in a blended relationship for a number of years and you\u2019d just like to kind of do an inventory and say, \u201cHow are we doing, and where are the areas where we can strengthen and improve our marriage relationship?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon Deal\u2019s book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily Marriage<\/em>, is a book that we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can request a copy when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Again, the title of the book is <em>The Smart Stepfamily Marriage<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that we have Ron Deal\u2019s video series on <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em> available for couples who\u2019d like to go through this on your own or maybe you\u2019d like to form a small group and go through this material. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind the resources we\u2019re talking about when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link at the top left corner of the page that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Look for information about <em>The Smart Stepfamily Marriage<\/em> book and <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em> DVD series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s also information available there about the upcoming 2015 Blended and Blessed<sup>\u2122<\/sup> Summit on stepfamily ministry that\u2019s being held November 13 and 14 at Mariners Church in Irvine, California. This is an event that is open to anyone who is interested in either launching a stepfamily ministry in your church, or maybe, you\u2019re already engaged in some kind of blended family ministry and you\u2019d like to network with others who are also involved. Find out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the \u201cGO DEEPER\u201d link. Look for information on the Blended and Blessed Summit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, some of our listeners have already heard about the exciting opportunity that\u2019s been made available to us, here at FamilyLife, during the month of May. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have some friends of the ministry who feel strongly about what we\u2019re doing, here at FamilyLife. They agree with us that the need of couples and families, in our culture today, is probably the most critical need facing our society. They\u2019ve linked arms with us as we try to provide practical biblical help for marriages and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, this group of friends has agreed that they will match every donation that we receive, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $300,000. We have a great opportunity for any donation you make to be doubled in its impact. We\u2019d like to ask you to consider going online, or calling, or mailing a donation to us, here at FamilyLife, knowing that your donation\u2019s impact will be doubled during the month of May. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can easily donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click the link in the upper right-hand corner that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us tomorrow as we\u2019re going to continue our conversation with Robbie and Sabrina McDonald, talking about the blending of their family. We\u2019ll talk about the impact that blending had on Sabrina\u2019s kids tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303491","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303491"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303491"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303491"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303491"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303491"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303491"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303491"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}