{"id":303461,"date":"2015-04-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-04-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/thoughts-on-disicipline\/"},"modified":"2015-04-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-04-13T15:00:00","slug":"thoughts-on-disicipline","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thoughts-on-disicipline\/","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts on Disicipline"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Barbara Rainey answers questions from moms of toddlers and preschoolers, and shares her three greatest parenting regrets and how God redeemed the outcome in spite of her mistakes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-13.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.5M","filesize_raw":"27783871","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838,2881],"tags":[2987],"podcast_series":[8073],"cwp_profile":[3052,9108],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303461","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","category-young-children","tag-disciplining-your-children","podcast_series-as-mom-q-a-with-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-various","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303461\/thoughts-on-disicipline","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303461\/thoughts-on-disicipline","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"KcKgcrdUm8\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thoughts-on-disicipline\/\">Thoughts on Disicipline<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thoughts-on-disicipline\/embed\/#?secret=KcKgcrdUm8\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Thoughts on Disicipline&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"KcKgcrdUm8\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-13.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-13.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some parts of being a parent\u2014being a mom\u2014are easier than other parts. Here\u2019s Barbara Rainey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I handled doing chores and all the other things so much better than I did the sibling rivalry thing. That was the thing that was the most difficult for me. It was the thing that upset me the most. It was the area where I felt the most out of control because I felt like I had to be a police detective. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, April 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Do you find there are aspects of motherhood that are challenging for you?\u00a0 No doubt. We\u2019ll talk about some of those today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. Don\u2019t you think there are some of our listeners who\u2014if they could get an hour, sitting down with your wife, and just hearing her talk about her own journey of motherhood\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they would benefit from that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just left a meeting that Barbara has right now with a young mom, who is like a giant sponge. [Laughter] She is pounding my wife with questions and soaking up the answers because she needs a good night\u2019s rest, and she needs to get on top of this thing called motherhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Titus, Chapter 2, gives instruction to older women. It says you have an assignment; and your assignment is to engage younger women\u2014to teach them to be lovers of God, lovers of their husbands, keepers at home. It really is: \u201cPour into their lives the benefit of your experience.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I have to say, Bob, I\u2019m a little concerned about this Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\/tweet generation that has all these surface relationships that skip across the top of the lake. I think there is great need for some porch sitting \/ some longer conversations with an older woman, who can coach you and encourage you in this process of being a young mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, if we are talking to older moms, right now, I want to encourage you to find some younger moms you could invest in. If you are one of those younger moms, that doesn\u2019t have access to a mentor, start praying about it\u2014ask your pastor, ask some folks at church\u2014find a mom or two that could coach you through this season of life where you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Not long ago, Barbara sat down with a group of young moms for a Q&amp;A time, just to share from her own experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should also mention Barbara plays a key role in our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video event that we\u2019ve designed for couples. She helps wives understand God\u2019s assignment for them, as wives. The reason I brought up <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> is because, between now and the end of April, our team has a special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014you don\u2019t need a tax refund to take advantage of this special offer. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are making available <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> event kit, which has all the DVDs you need to host an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> event, along with [a pair of] manuals and instructions on how to host. We\u2019ll give you that kit free if you\u2019ll agree to take ten couples through <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> in your church\/in your community. You get the manuals for the ten couples, and we will give you everything you need to host the event for free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get the details when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link at the upper left-hand corner of the page that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Look for information on <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>. We\u2019ll provide you any help you need on how to host one of these events in your church or in your community. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call if you have any questions\u20141-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Alright, let\u2019s listen as Barbara Rainey sat down with a group of young moms, recently, and talked about some of the challenges of being a mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Q&amp;A Time with Barbara]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I wanted to share with you all a couple of things that I would do differently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI made lots of mistakes on a day-in\/day-out basis. You know, I\u2019d get angry at this kid\u2014and I\u2019d discipline for the wrong thing or discipline in the wrong way\u2014or I was too driven or too task-oriented. I mean, I did all kinds of things wrong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut those things aside, just sort of an over-arching thing that I wish I had sort of done differently\u2014that I think might have made a difference\u2014I wish I had a little bit more commitment, personally, to really growing in the Word. It\u2019s not that I didn\u2019t want to. It\u2019s that I was just so overwhelmed, and I was so busy\u2014like you are\u2014well, like all of you are. It felt too hard to do. <br><br>We were in church every Sunday, and we were in a community group\/small group. So, it\u2019s not that we weren\u2019t getting fed. It\u2019s not that I wasn\u2019t being exposed to truth; but as my kids got older, I became more involved in doing really good Bible study\u2014serious Bible study. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just saw what a difference it made in my thinking and in my life, and how much I grew in being able to personally depend on the Lord myself and not depend on what I heard someone else say, or what I read in a book, or what I heard from the sermon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not that I didn\u2019t do any Bible study at all\u2014but I personally grew so much from doing my own, individual, one-on-one study, with me and the Lord\u2014that I look back on those years when I didn\u2019t have it, and I really wish that I had been more committed to doing it when I was younger, in those early years of my parenting journey. So, that\u2019s one thing that I encourage young women to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The second thing that I want to encourage you with is to do whatever it takes to continue to grow personally and in your marriage. We really worked hard on our marriage all those years and still do. In fact, I was talking to Rebecca the other day. She was saying something about something that they were working on in their marriage and struggling with. I said: \u201cWell, I hate to tell you this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBut it continues to be hard work, even after you\u2019ve been married as long as we have.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cSorry, but yes.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I told Dennis the other day: \u201cI wish we could just coast for a while. I\u2019m tired always having to work on something.\u201d\u00a0 But we\u2019re sinful people; and it\u2019s never going to be easy, and we\u2019re never going to coast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, really, keep that as a priority\u2014your relationship with your husband and, then, whatever you need to grow personally so that you\u2019re being refueled and just growing, as a woman\u2014becoming the woman that God made you to be. There are so much of us that we have to sacrifice and lay aside in order to serve our kids and serve our husband\u2014yet, we can\u2019t operate on empty forever. We can\u2019t\u2014I don\u2019t think God wants us to operate on empty forever either. We need to find ways to stay healthy, to stay growing, to keep our marriage healthy so that we have more to give to our kids and our husband. So, I want to encourage you to do that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014whatever that looks like for you \/ whatever that means for you\u2014keep that a priority too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, the third thing is the whole idea of keeping the Sabbath. It\u2019s not something that\u2019s encouraged in our culture anymore. When I was a kid, growing up, nothing was open on Sunday. You couldn\u2019t go shopping, and people just pretty much stayed home. It was sort of the accepted way of the culture. Now, we\u2019re <em>so far<\/em> from that. There are ball games, and practices, and every store you could want to go to is open on Sunday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI looked up a bunch of verses this afternoon. One of the ones on the Sabbath is where Jesus said, \u201cThe Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cYou know, God made it <em>for us<\/em>; and there is a reason for it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that we did to keep the Sabbath is\u2014we\u2014when our kids got old enough to get jobs, they weren\u2019t allowed to have a job where they worked on Sundays, for one thing. If they were on any kind of a team that had practices, our kids just didn\u2019t do practices on Sunday.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe team may have had one, but our kids didn\u2019t show up. I was very strict with myself about not doing any grocery shopping or anything on Sunday because I knew, once I started doing it, it\u2019d be really easy for that to become a habit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we got up, and we went to church. We came home, and we ate easy stuff. Then, everyone had quiet time in the afternoon\u2014even the big kids, when they were beyond naptime\u2014they had to go to their room, and they had to be quiet for two hours. There was some intentionality with my children, but I did it more for me than really for my kids because I needed\u2014I needed the break. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s a piece of the solution. I think there are other things, probably, that would help; but I think that\u2019s one sort of big idea that\u2019s worth considering and thinking about to kind of take some of that pressure off your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, those are my introductory comments. We\u2019re ready for questions. So, you all just dive in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lady: <\/strong>What was the best thing you did when your children were fighting?\u00a0 Do you remember something proactive or positive things that you did when they were arguing with each other?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, honestly, that was the most difficult issue for me in raising kids. I handled doing chores and all the other things so much better than I did the sibling rivalry thing. That was the thing that was the most difficult for me. It was the thing that upset me the most. It was the area where I felt the most out of control because I felt like I had to be a police detective to try to figure out what the truth really was. It was so difficult to get to the bottom of it. Oftentimes, I felt like I didn\u2019t get to the bottom of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve heard since\u2014several different things that other people have done. In fact, one of the books that I read is this one, <em>Don\u2019t Make Me Count to Three<\/em>. Her philosophy is that when there is sibling rivalry, both of them are probably at fault. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth of them have probably made mistakes. One of them may have actually started it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had\u2014our two boys got into more fights. We were afraid that they would probably both be in jail by the time they were adults because they fought all the time. The younger one knew how to egg the older one on; but the older one, because he was older and he was always bigger and stronger\u2014he would retaliate. He would always hurt the younger one. Then, the younger one would cry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was always so difficult to know how to\u2014and so, sometimes, we disciplined both. Sometimes, we gave them both jobs to do. If I felt like\u2014and this is one of those places where I think I made lots of mistakes\u2014if I felt like one of them was really more at fault than the other one, then, I would discipline the one and not the other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI like her idea, though, that both of them probably, in most cases\u2014probably nine times out of ten\u2014they are both at fault. They both have heart issues of being angry, or jealous, or resentful, or whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is not an easy answer to that because you are raising sinful people and teaching them to learn how to relate to another sinful person. They don\u2019t have the maturity to know how to\u2014it\u2019s hard enough for adults to do\u2014but they don\u2019t have the maturity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lady (2): <\/strong>Did you always address it; or were there times when you said: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You take it\u2014you work it out. You get it under control. Then, come out; and I\u2019ll be willing to listen to what you\u2019ve done or what conclusion you\u2019ve come to\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>We did both. As they got older, and we really felt like they understood the principles of conflict resolution\u2014you know, we talked to them about\u2014and sometimes, it wasn\u2019t really as big a deal as it appeared to be. They were really just having fun, and it just got out of hand. So, yes, we did some of both. Sometimes, it worked; and sometimes, it didn\u2019t work to have them resolve it. Sometimes, they didn\u2019t resolve it because they didn\u2019t want to resolve it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what I liked about her book\u2014is she talked about the heart attitude\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and that really the source of conflict really is our heart attitude and what\u2019s going on within\u2014and training your kids to understand that what\u2019s in the heart is really what is driving the conflict. Sometimes, you have to discipline for it if they lie, or they hit, or wherever you\u2019ve drawn your boundaries on discipline\u2014but sometimes, it\u2019s just a training issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lady (3): <\/strong>I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s a part of that book or another resource, but she has this calendar. In this calendar, she had just the issues\u2014sibling rivalry, lying, or whatever\u2014she has the wrong attitude with the right attitude, with the Scripture verse. So, whatever your kids are dealing with\u2014sibling rivalry\u2014you just go to this calendar and you say, \u201cOkay, what am I supposed to say to them?\u201d I\u2019d liked to say I use it all the time, but it\u2019s hanging on my refrigerator. But anyway, I like that\u2014it\u2019s the kind of thing that is helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It\u2019s a good resource because, in the thick of things, it is difficult. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe made a list, one time, of all the different options that I had available to me for discipline and taped it on the cabinet because you get so frustrated, in the middle of it, that you can\u2019t think straight sometimes. I needed to be able to look at something that could say, \u201cOkay, I can try this,\u201d because I just would lose perspective and couldn\u2019t think real well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lady (4): <\/strong>Kind of related to that is: \u201cHow do you deal with the issue of\u2014you have your children apologize for things they\u2019ve done, but you don\u2019t feel like\u2014this might be particular children\u2014they\u2019re ever really sorry?\u201d\u00a0 Their heart isn\u2019t sorry. They are not repentant, and you just feel like you don\u2019t get to their hearts. They are just saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry because you made them say it\u201d; but you haven\u2019t really gotten to their hearts. How do you\u2014do you make them keep apologizing or how do you deal with that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think you make them keep apologizing because you can\u2019t change their heart. I mean, our hearts\u2014we have to decide to submit. So, when they got into a fight or an argument with a sibling, they had to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry I\u2026,\u201d and name the sin or name the offense\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014whatever it is. \u201cWill you forgive me for\u2026\u201d\u2014name it\u2014and they had to say: \u201cI\u2019m sorry. Will you forgive me?\u201d\u00a0 And the other person had to say, \u201cYes,\u201d or \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had some that would just kind of blow it off, and try to sneak by, and not go through that. We had plenty of times when they\u2014you just looked at them and you go, \u201cYes, you meant that like a whole in the head.\u201d\u00a0 You know, they don\u2019t mean it; but you just make them do it and hope that, as they become adults, that it will sink in and they will want to choose to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was flipping through a bunch of old notes before I came. I ran across this little thing on a sermon outline, from a few years ago, where the pastor said: \u201cThere are three reasons people obey. One is because we have to\u2014because we have parents <em>making<\/em> us do it or we have the law telling us we have to drive a certain speed limit. The second reason we obey is because there is some reward tied to it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if I obey the law and I fill out my income tax, then, I\u2019m going to get a refund. There is something tied to it that is going to be beneficial to me\u2014so we do it for that reason.\u00a0 And then, the third reason people obey\u2014which is the hardest and the least often\u2014is because out of a genuine heart of wanting to please God.\u201d Our kids are no different. Our kids obey probably 90 percent of the time because they know, if they don\u2019t, they are going to get in trouble\u2014but that\u2019s human nature. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that we did\u2014we prayed <em>a lot <\/em>for our kids\u2014that they would get caught and they would not get away with <em>anything<\/em>. I remember how clearly God answered those prayers many times. One of ours was prone to stealing\u2014just little things from siblings\u2014but we didn\u2019t want him getting away with it. It was just amazing how God allowed him to get caught. We had another one who was, as a teenager, lifting some money; and we didn\u2019t know it\u2014and kids do that\u2014you know, \u201cI\u2019ll take a quarter out of Mom\u2019s purse,\u201d and they think it is no big deal because it\u2019s just a quarter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was amazing, again, how we found out about this one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, as our kids started driving, we had a neighbor, who was driving down the road. Our kid went flying down the road, way too fast. He got on the phone and called us. I was <em>thrilled<\/em> that he called and told us. So, we prayed that a lot\u2014that God would not allow our kids to get away with <em>anything<\/em>\u2014we wanted them to be caught. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the other thing we prayed is\u2014we prayed they would repent and that God would give them a heart that wanted to obey Him, sincerely and faithfully, because only God can put that in their hearts. We prayed <em>a lot<\/em> for their hearts\u2014that they would want to please God and obey Him on their own. I think prayers are really a key element in parenting because you can only do so much and, then, they\u2019ve got to decide they want it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my other frequent prayers, for two of my kids, in particular\u2014my prayer for them was that they would know they were sinners and that they needed Jesus\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and I prayed that a lot. I prayed it a lot for my youngest one and my oldest one because my oldest one was a typical firstborn, who wanted to make everybody happy, and she was pretty good, and she loved her siblings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy second one was the one who knew how to push my buttons pretty much better than any of the rest of my kids. He started doing it at five and didn\u2019t quit until he was eighteen or maybe seventeen\u2014I\u2019ll give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was seventeen. [Laughter]\u00a0 I really think he had it as his mission in life to get the best of me, and he won more times than I won. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy oldest daughter saw that. She saw what he was doing to me\u2014and she saw that he was making me miserable and that he was pushing my buttons and making life hard\u2014and she didn\u2019t want life to be hard for me. So, she kind of went out of her way to make me happy. I watched her and I thought: \u201cI <em>do not<\/em> want her growing up thinking that she needs to make her mother happy. That is dangerous. It\u2019s unhealthy.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just began to pray that God would help her see that she was just as much of a sinner as her brother\u2014just because she acted good on the outside did not mean she had a clean heart. So, I prayed that a lot for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also prayed it a lot for my youngest because my youngest was\u2014she got a little bit better treatment than some of the older ones too. My older ones told me about it: \u201cMom, you are not doing with Laura what you did with us\u2014she gets away with a lot more.\u201d\u00a0 It is a tendency\u2014it\u2019s hard not to do that with your youngest one, especially when you know it is your last and you kind of want to milk it for all its worth. But I prayed that a lot for her, too, because her next sibling was another one that gave me fits. She saw this relationship\u2014and she saw me struggling with her older sister\u2014and she saw what it was doing to me. I saw her trying to make me happy; and I thought, \u201cThis is not good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I even\u2014by then, I think I understood things enough that I even said something to her about it, verbally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith my oldest, I didn\u2019t have the presence of mind to even address it\u2014but, by my youngest one, I did. I think I even said something to her: \u201cI don\u2019t want you to feel responsible for trying to make things better.\u201d\u00a0 I prayed a lot for her that she would know she was a sinner and that she needed Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, for some kids\u2014that is a good prayer for them because some of them really are good kids. They like to please, and they like to make Mom and Dad happy. They do everything well, and school\u2019s easy for them. We had one\u2014that school was a piece of cake\u2014he hardly ever had to study. Then, I had others that struggled\u2014really struggled\u2014in school. You know, life is easy for some kids; and it\u2019s hard for others. [For] those that it is easy for\u2014they may need you to pray that they would know that they are sinners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve been listening to a Q&amp;A between some young moms and Barbara Rainey. You know the identity of all of the kids she\u2019s talking about there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, they\u2019re under federal protection so their identity will not be discovered, at this point [Laughter]; but I just got a tweet from a friend who was offended by my earlier statement that I made on the broadcast about this Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and Facebook generation that skips across the top of the lake\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wait. Are you mentoring people on Twitter and Facebook?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I am not. But I am teaching \/ I am tweeting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I guess you are doing some mentoring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I guess\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I guess you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I guess we are, but I just want you to know if that\u2019s all you can get\u2014if that\u2019s the source of your mentoring, as a mom or as a dad, young man\/young woman, husband\/wife\u2014then, okay. But I wouldn\u2019t encourage you to not settle for that because there is nothing like having a cup of coffee with someone, talking about real life in more than 140 characters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Life on life makes a difference; doesn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It does make a difference, and that\u2019s what Barbara demonstrated here. Bob, that\u2019s also what we are trying to do in calling people to take advantage of a free resource that we are offering so that couples can impact other couples\u2014life on life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, it\u2019s great when you can sit down together and listen to a message, as a husband and a wife, or you can read a book together\u2014but when couples get together with other couples, and go through solid biblical teaching about marriage, it has a profound impact. We know that because, over the last four years, we\u2019ve had more than 600,000 people go through <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> video event. These events are hosted in local communities\/local churches. The reason that we are encouraging you to consider hosting one of these events\u2014taking the lead\u2014going to your church leaders and saying, \u201cCould we do this at the church?\u201d\u2014we are hoping that there will be tens of thousands of couples who will be impacted by <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> this spring and summer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Here\u2019s what we\u2019ll do to help make that happen\u2014if you\u2019ll agree to take ten couples through the material in your home\/in your church\u2014wherever you\u2019re going to do it\u2014and you\u2019ll order the workbooks for those ten couples, we will send you the DVDs\/the starter kit for <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> absolutely free. You can get the details when you go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click up at the top of the screen, where it says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d That\u2019ll take you right to where you can click on and get information about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> video event. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call if you have any questions. 1-800-FL-TODAY is our toll-free number\u20141-800-358-6329. Someone on our team can answer any questions you have or make arrangements for you to get the free <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> video event kit so that you can host one of these events this spring or this summer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to take just a minute here and say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who help make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think most of our listeners know that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a listener-supported ministry. What that means is there are people in your community who made today\u2019s program possible by donating to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s how it works. We\u2019re grateful for those of you who have made past donations so that we could present today\u2019s program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a regular listener and you\u2019ve never made a gift to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, how about joining the team today in helping to support this ministry?\u00a0 You can make a gift, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone. Or you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make a gift today, we want you to choose, as a thank-you gift, either a copy of Scott Stanley\u2019s helpful book, <em>A Lasting Promise<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s all about how our marriages can go the distance\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or, if you\u2019d prefer, you can select a copy of Ron Deal\u2019s revised and updated book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>. You can choose either of those two books. Again, it\u2019s our way of saying, \u201cThank you for being on the team and helping to support this ministry.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I want to encourage you to join us back again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear from Barbara Rainey again. She\u2019ll be answering questions posed to her by moms of preteens and teenagers tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.5M"],"filesize_raw":["27783871"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303461.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303461.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Rainey answers questions from moms of toddlers and preschoolers, and shares her three greatest parenting regrets and how God redeemed the outcome in spite of her mistakes.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some parts of being a parent\u2014being a mom\u2014are easier than other parts. Here\u2019s Barbara Rainey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I handled doing chores and all the other things so much better than I did the sibling rivalry thing. That was the thing that was the most difficult for me. It was the thing that upset me the most. It was the area where I felt the most out of control because I felt like I had to be a police detective. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, April 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Do you find there are aspects of motherhood that are challenging for you?\u00a0 No doubt. We\u2019ll talk about some of those today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. Don\u2019t you think there are some of our listeners who\u2014if they could get an hour, sitting down with your wife, and just hearing her talk about her own journey of motherhood\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they would benefit from that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just left a meeting that Barbara has right now with a young mom, who is like a giant sponge. [Laughter] She is pounding my wife with questions and soaking up the answers because she needs a good night\u2019s rest, and she needs to get on top of this thing called motherhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Titus, Chapter 2, gives instruction to older women. It says you have an assignment; and your assignment is to engage younger women\u2014to teach them to be lovers of God, lovers of their husbands, keepers at home. It really is: \u201cPour into their lives the benefit of your experience.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I have to say, Bob, I\u2019m a little concerned about this Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\/tweet generation that has all these surface relationships that skip across the top of the lake. I think there is great need for some porch sitting \/ some longer conversations with an older woman, who can coach you and encourage you in this process of being a young mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, if we are talking to older moms, right now, I want to encourage you to find some younger moms you could invest in. If you are one of those younger moms, that doesn\u2019t have access to a mentor, start praying about it\u2014ask your pastor, ask some folks at church\u2014find a mom or two that could coach you through this season of life where you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Not long ago, Barbara sat down with a group of young moms for a Q&amp;A time, just to share from her own experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should also mention Barbara plays a key role in our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video event that we\u2019ve designed for couples. She helps wives understand God\u2019s assignment for them, as wives. The reason I brought up <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> is because, between now and the end of April, our team has a special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014you don\u2019t need a tax refund to take advantage of this special offer. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are making available <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> event kit, which has all the DVDs you need to host an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> event, along with [a pair of] manuals and instructions on how to host. We\u2019ll give you that kit free if you\u2019ll agree to take ten couples through <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> in your church\/in your community. You get the manuals for the ten couples, and we will give you everything you need to host the event for free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get the details when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link at the upper left-hand corner of the page that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Look for information on <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>. We\u2019ll provide you any help you need on how to host one of these events in your church or in your community. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call if you have any questions\u20141-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Alright, let\u2019s listen as Barbara Rainey sat down with a group of young moms, recently, and talked about some of the challenges of being a mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Q&amp;A Time with Barbara]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I wanted to share with you all a couple of things that I would do differently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI made lots of mistakes on a day-in\/day-out basis. You know, I\u2019d get angry at this kid\u2014and I\u2019d discipline for the wrong thing or discipline in the wrong way\u2014or I was too driven or too task-oriented. I mean, I did all kinds of things wrong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut those things aside, just sort of an over-arching thing that I wish I had sort of done differently\u2014that I think might have made a difference\u2014I wish I had a little bit more commitment, personally, to really growing in the Word. It\u2019s not that I didn\u2019t want to. It\u2019s that I was just so overwhelmed, and I was so busy\u2014like you are\u2014well, like all of you are. It felt too hard to do. <br><br>We were in church every Sunday, and we were in a community group\/small group. So, it\u2019s not that we weren\u2019t getting fed. It\u2019s not that I wasn\u2019t being exposed to truth; but as my kids got older, I became more involved in doing really good Bible study\u2014serious Bible study. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just saw what a difference it made in my thinking and in my life, and how much I grew in being able to personally depend on the Lord myself and not depend on what I heard someone else say, or what I read in a book, or what I heard from the sermon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not that I didn\u2019t do any Bible study at all\u2014but I personally grew so much from doing my own, individual, one-on-one study, with me and the Lord\u2014that I look back on those years when I didn\u2019t have it, and I really wish that I had been more committed to doing it when I was younger, in those early years of my parenting journey. So, that\u2019s one thing that I encourage young women to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The second thing that I want to encourage you with is to do whatever it takes to continue to grow personally and in your marriage. We really worked hard on our marriage all those years and still do. In fact, I was talking to Rebecca the other day. She was saying something about something that they were working on in their marriage and struggling with. I said: \u201cWell, I hate to tell you this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBut it continues to be hard work, even after you\u2019ve been married as long as we have.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cSorry, but yes.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I told Dennis the other day: \u201cI wish we could just coast for a while. I\u2019m tired always having to work on something.\u201d\u00a0 But we\u2019re sinful people; and it\u2019s never going to be easy, and we\u2019re never going to coast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, really, keep that as a priority\u2014your relationship with your husband and, then, whatever you need to grow personally so that you\u2019re being refueled and just growing, as a woman\u2014becoming the woman that God made you to be. There are so much of us that we have to sacrifice and lay aside in order to serve our kids and serve our husband\u2014yet, we can\u2019t operate on empty forever. We can\u2019t\u2014I don\u2019t think God wants us to operate on empty forever either. We need to find ways to stay healthy, to stay growing, to keep our marriage healthy so that we have more to give to our kids and our husband. So, I want to encourage you to do that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014whatever that looks like for you \/ whatever that means for you\u2014keep that a priority too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, the third thing is the whole idea of keeping the Sabbath. It\u2019s not something that\u2019s encouraged in our culture anymore. When I was a kid, growing up, nothing was open on Sunday. You couldn\u2019t go shopping, and people just pretty much stayed home. It was sort of the accepted way of the culture. Now, we\u2019re <em>so far<\/em> from that. There are ball games, and practices, and every store you could want to go to is open on Sunday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI looked up a bunch of verses this afternoon. One of the ones on the Sabbath is where Jesus said, \u201cThe Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cYou know, God made it <em>for us<\/em>; and there is a reason for it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that we did to keep the Sabbath is\u2014we\u2014when our kids got old enough to get jobs, they weren\u2019t allowed to have a job where they worked on Sundays, for one thing. If they were on any kind of a team that had practices, our kids just didn\u2019t do practices on Sunday.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe team may have had one, but our kids didn\u2019t show up. I was very strict with myself about not doing any grocery shopping or anything on Sunday because I knew, once I started doing it, it\u2019d be really easy for that to become a habit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we got up, and we went to church. We came home, and we ate easy stuff. Then, everyone had quiet time in the afternoon\u2014even the big kids, when they were beyond naptime\u2014they had to go to their room, and they had to be quiet for two hours. There was some intentionality with my children, but I did it more for me than really for my kids because I needed\u2014I needed the break. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s a piece of the solution. I think there are other things, probably, that would help; but I think that\u2019s one sort of big idea that\u2019s worth considering and thinking about to kind of take some of that pressure off your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, those are my introductory comments. We\u2019re ready for questions. So, you all just dive in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lady: <\/strong>What was the best thing you did when your children were fighting?\u00a0 Do you remember something proactive or positive things that you did when they were arguing with each other?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, honestly, that was the most difficult issue for me in raising kids. I handled doing chores and all the other things so much better than I did the sibling rivalry thing. That was the thing that was the most difficult for me. It was the thing that upset me the most. It was the area where I felt the most out of control because I felt like I had to be a police detective to try to figure out what the truth really was. It was so difficult to get to the bottom of it. Oftentimes, I felt like I didn\u2019t get to the bottom of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve heard since\u2014several different things that other people have done. In fact, one of the books that I read is this one, <em>Don\u2019t Make Me Count to Three<\/em>. Her philosophy is that when there is sibling rivalry, both of them are probably at fault. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth of them have probably made mistakes. One of them may have actually started it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had\u2014our two boys got into more fights. We were afraid that they would probably both be in jail by the time they were adults because they fought all the time. The younger one knew how to egg the older one on; but the older one, because he was older and he was always bigger and stronger\u2014he would retaliate. He would always hurt the younger one. Then, the younger one would cry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was always so difficult to know how to\u2014and so, sometimes, we disciplined both. Sometimes, we gave them both jobs to do. If I felt like\u2014and this is one of those places where I think I made lots of mistakes\u2014if I felt like one of them was really more at fault than the other one, then, I would discipline the one and not the other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI like her idea, though, that both of them probably, in most cases\u2014probably nine times out of ten\u2014they are both at fault. They both have heart issues of being angry, or jealous, or resentful, or whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is not an easy answer to that because you are raising sinful people and teaching them to learn how to relate to another sinful person. They don\u2019t have the maturity to know how to\u2014it\u2019s hard enough for adults to do\u2014but they don\u2019t have the maturity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lady (2): <\/strong>Did you always address it; or were there times when you said: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You take it\u2014you work it out. You get it under control. Then, come out; and I\u2019ll be willing to listen to what you\u2019ve done or what conclusion you\u2019ve come to\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>We did both. As they got older, and we really felt like they understood the principles of conflict resolution\u2014you know, we talked to them about\u2014and sometimes, it wasn\u2019t really as big a deal as it appeared to be. They were really just having fun, and it just got out of hand. So, yes, we did some of both. Sometimes, it worked; and sometimes, it didn\u2019t work to have them resolve it. Sometimes, they didn\u2019t resolve it because they didn\u2019t want to resolve it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what I liked about her book\u2014is she talked about the heart attitude\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and that really the source of conflict really is our heart attitude and what\u2019s going on within\u2014and training your kids to understand that what\u2019s in the heart is really what is driving the conflict. Sometimes, you have to discipline for it if they lie, or they hit, or wherever you\u2019ve drawn your boundaries on discipline\u2014but sometimes, it\u2019s just a training issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lady (3): <\/strong>I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s a part of that book or another resource, but she has this calendar. In this calendar, she had just the issues\u2014sibling rivalry, lying, or whatever\u2014she has the wrong attitude with the right attitude, with the Scripture verse. So, whatever your kids are dealing with\u2014sibling rivalry\u2014you just go to this calendar and you say, \u201cOkay, what am I supposed to say to them?\u201d I\u2019d liked to say I use it all the time, but it\u2019s hanging on my refrigerator. But anyway, I like that\u2014it\u2019s the kind of thing that is helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It\u2019s a good resource because, in the thick of things, it is difficult. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe made a list, one time, of all the different options that I had available to me for discipline and taped it on the cabinet because you get so frustrated, in the middle of it, that you can\u2019t think straight sometimes. I needed to be able to look at something that could say, \u201cOkay, I can try this,\u201d because I just would lose perspective and couldn\u2019t think real well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lady (4): <\/strong>Kind of related to that is: \u201cHow do you deal with the issue of\u2014you have your children apologize for things they\u2019ve done, but you don\u2019t feel like\u2014this might be particular children\u2014they\u2019re ever really sorry?\u201d\u00a0 Their heart isn\u2019t sorry. They are not repentant, and you just feel like you don\u2019t get to their hearts. They are just saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry because you made them say it\u201d; but you haven\u2019t really gotten to their hearts. How do you\u2014do you make them keep apologizing or how do you deal with that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think you make them keep apologizing because you can\u2019t change their heart. I mean, our hearts\u2014we have to decide to submit. So, when they got into a fight or an argument with a sibling, they had to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry I\u2026,\u201d and name the sin or name the offense\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014whatever it is. \u201cWill you forgive me for\u2026\u201d\u2014name it\u2014and they had to say: \u201cI\u2019m sorry. Will you forgive me?\u201d\u00a0 And the other person had to say, \u201cYes,\u201d or \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had some that would just kind of blow it off, and try to sneak by, and not go through that. We had plenty of times when they\u2014you just looked at them and you go, \u201cYes, you meant that like a whole in the head.\u201d\u00a0 You know, they don\u2019t mean it; but you just make them do it and hope that, as they become adults, that it will sink in and they will want to choose to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was flipping through a bunch of old notes before I came. I ran across this little thing on a sermon outline, from a few years ago, where the pastor said: \u201cThere are three reasons people obey. One is because we have to\u2014because we have parents <em>making<\/em> us do it or we have the law telling us we have to drive a certain speed limit. The second reason we obey is because there is some reward tied to it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if I obey the law and I fill out my income tax, then, I\u2019m going to get a refund. There is something tied to it that is going to be beneficial to me\u2014so we do it for that reason.\u00a0 And then, the third reason people obey\u2014which is the hardest and the least often\u2014is because out of a genuine heart of wanting to please God.\u201d Our kids are no different. Our kids obey probably 90 percent of the time because they know, if they don\u2019t, they are going to get in trouble\u2014but that\u2019s human nature. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that we did\u2014we prayed <em>a lot <\/em>for our kids\u2014that they would get caught and they would not get away with <em>anything<\/em>. I remember how clearly God answered those prayers many times. One of ours was prone to stealing\u2014just little things from siblings\u2014but we didn\u2019t want him getting away with it. It was just amazing how God allowed him to get caught. We had another one who was, as a teenager, lifting some money; and we didn\u2019t know it\u2014and kids do that\u2014you know, \u201cI\u2019ll take a quarter out of Mom\u2019s purse,\u201d and they think it is no big deal because it\u2019s just a quarter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was amazing, again, how we found out about this one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, as our kids started driving, we had a neighbor, who was driving down the road. Our kid went flying down the road, way too fast. He got on the phone and called us. I was <em>thrilled<\/em> that he called and told us. So, we prayed that a lot\u2014that God would not allow our kids to get away with <em>anything<\/em>\u2014we wanted them to be caught. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the other thing we prayed is\u2014we prayed they would repent and that God would give them a heart that wanted to obey Him, sincerely and faithfully, because only God can put that in their hearts. We prayed <em>a lot<\/em> for their hearts\u2014that they would want to please God and obey Him on their own. I think prayers are really a key element in parenting because you can only do so much and, then, they\u2019ve got to decide they want it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my other frequent prayers, for two of my kids, in particular\u2014my prayer for them was that they would know they were sinners and that they needed Jesus\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and I prayed that a lot. I prayed it a lot for my youngest one and my oldest one because my oldest one was a typical firstborn, who wanted to make everybody happy, and she was pretty good, and she loved her siblings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy second one was the one who knew how to push my buttons pretty much better than any of the rest of my kids. He started doing it at five and didn\u2019t quit until he was eighteen or maybe seventeen\u2014I\u2019ll give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was seventeen. [Laughter]\u00a0 I really think he had it as his mission in life to get the best of me, and he won more times than I won. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy oldest daughter saw that. She saw what he was doing to me\u2014and she saw that he was making me miserable and that he was pushing my buttons and making life hard\u2014and she didn\u2019t want life to be hard for me. So, she kind of went out of her way to make me happy. I watched her and I thought: \u201cI <em>do not<\/em> want her growing up thinking that she needs to make her mother happy. That is dangerous. It\u2019s unhealthy.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just began to pray that God would help her see that she was just as much of a sinner as her brother\u2014just because she acted good on the outside did not mean she had a clean heart. So, I prayed that a lot for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also prayed it a lot for my youngest because my youngest was\u2014she got a little bit better treatment than some of the older ones too. My older ones told me about it: \u201cMom, you are not doing with Laura what you did with us\u2014she gets away with a lot more.\u201d\u00a0 It is a tendency\u2014it\u2019s hard not to do that with your youngest one, especially when you know it is your last and you kind of want to milk it for all its worth. But I prayed that a lot for her, too, because her next sibling was another one that gave me fits. She saw this relationship\u2014and she saw me struggling with her older sister\u2014and she saw what it was doing to me. I saw her trying to make me happy; and I thought, \u201cThis is not good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I even\u2014by then, I think I understood things enough that I even said something to her about it, verbally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith my oldest, I didn\u2019t have the presence of mind to even address it\u2014but, by my youngest one, I did. I think I even said something to her: \u201cI don\u2019t want you to feel responsible for trying to make things better.\u201d\u00a0 I prayed a lot for her that she would know she was a sinner and that she needed Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, for some kids\u2014that is a good prayer for them because some of them really are good kids. They like to please, and they like to make Mom and Dad happy. They do everything well, and school\u2019s easy for them. We had one\u2014that school was a piece of cake\u2014he hardly ever had to study. Then, I had others that struggled\u2014really struggled\u2014in school. You know, life is easy for some kids; and it\u2019s hard for others. [For] those that it is easy for\u2014they may need you to pray that they would know that they are sinners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve been listening to a Q&amp;A between some young moms and Barbara Rainey. You know the identity of all of the kids she\u2019s talking about there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, they\u2019re under federal protection so their identity will not be discovered, at this point [Laughter]; but I just got a tweet from a friend who was offended by my earlier statement that I made on the broadcast about this Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and Facebook generation that skips across the top of the lake\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wait. Are you mentoring people on Twitter and Facebook?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I am not. But I am teaching \/ I am tweeting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I guess you are doing some mentoring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I guess\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I guess you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I guess we are, but I just want you to know if that\u2019s all you can get\u2014if that\u2019s the source of your mentoring, as a mom or as a dad, young man\/young woman, husband\/wife\u2014then, okay. But I wouldn\u2019t encourage you to not settle for that because there is nothing like having a cup of coffee with someone, talking about real life in more than 140 characters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Life on life makes a difference; doesn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It does make a difference, and that\u2019s what Barbara demonstrated here. Bob, that\u2019s also what we are trying to do in calling people to take advantage of a free resource that we are offering so that couples can impact other couples\u2014life on life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, it\u2019s great when you can sit down together and listen to a message, as a husband and a wife, or you can read a book together\u2014but when couples get together with other couples, and go through solid biblical teaching about marriage, it has a profound impact. We know that because, over the last four years, we\u2019ve had more than 600,000 people go through <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> video event. These events are hosted in local communities\/local churches. The reason that we are encouraging you to consider hosting one of these events\u2014taking the lead\u2014going to your church leaders and saying, \u201cCould we do this at the church?\u201d\u2014we are hoping that there will be tens of thousands of couples who will be impacted by <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> this spring and summer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Here\u2019s what we\u2019ll do to help make that happen\u2014if you\u2019ll agree to take ten couples through the material in your home\/in your church\u2014wherever you\u2019re going to do it\u2014and you\u2019ll order the workbooks for those ten couples, we will send you the DVDs\/the starter kit for <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> absolutely free. You can get the details when you go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click up at the top of the screen, where it says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d That\u2019ll take you right to where you can click on and get information about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> video event. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call if you have any questions. 1-800-FL-TODAY is our toll-free number\u20141-800-358-6329. Someone on our team can answer any questions you have or make arrangements for you to get the free <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> video event kit so that you can host one of these events this spring or this summer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to take just a minute here and say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who help make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think most of our listeners know that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a listener-supported ministry. What that means is there are people in your community who made today\u2019s program possible by donating to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s how it works. We\u2019re grateful for those of you who have made past donations so that we could present today\u2019s program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a regular listener and you\u2019ve never made a gift to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, how about joining the team today in helping to support this ministry?\u00a0 You can make a gift, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone. Or you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make a gift today, we want you to choose, as a thank-you gift, either a copy of Scott Stanley\u2019s helpful book, <em>A Lasting Promise<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s all about how our marriages can go the distance\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or, if you\u2019d prefer, you can select a copy of Ron Deal\u2019s revised and updated book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>. You can choose either of those two books. Again, it\u2019s our way of saying, \u201cThank you for being on the team and helping to support this ministry.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I want to encourage you to join us back again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear from Barbara Rainey again. She\u2019ll be answering questions posed to her by moms of preteens and teenagers tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303461","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303461"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303461"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303461"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303461"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303461"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303461"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303461"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}