{"id":303459,"date":"2015-04-10T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-04-10T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/reversing-the-curse-of-divorce\/"},"modified":"2015-04-10T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-04-10T15:00:00","slug":"reversing-the-curse-of-divorce","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/reversing-the-curse-of-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Reversing the Curse of Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>John Trent, author of the book &#8220;Breaking the Cycle of Divorce,&#8221; gives some sound advice to couples coming out of a divorce background.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.83M","filesize_raw":"28128685","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2830],"tags":[4033],"podcast_series":[7492],"cwp_profile":[3435],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303459","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children-of-divorce","tag-divorce","podcast_series-how-to-break-the-cycle-of-divorce","cwp_profile-john-trent","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303459\/reversing-the-curse-of-divorce","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303459\/reversing-the-curse-of-divorce","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"F6C8D2krSF\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/reversing-the-curse-of-divorce\/\">Reversing the Curse of Divorce<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/reversing-the-curse-of-divorce\/embed\/#?secret=F6C8D2krSF\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Reversing the Curse of Divorce&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"F6C8D2krSF\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you grew up in a family, where divorce is a part of your background, and you find yourself in a marriage\u2014things just aren\u2019t going the way you hoped they would and there is pain\u2014what do you do?\u00a0 Here\u2019s how John Trent counsels couples in a situation like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Realize that Almighty God can reverse the curse. We need to be around people that can provide the kind of models we never had and, then, it doesn\u2019t take a 180 degree change\u2014or we don\u2019t want to wait until we need a 180 degree change\u2014but we want to begin doing those small things that can keep us between the lines, and keep us safe, and get us to where we want to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, April 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to talk today about some of the things all of us can do to make sure our marriages stay on track. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. If you knew a couple today, Dennis\u2014a young couple getting married\u2014she had grown up in a home, where her mom and dad had gotten divorced \/ maybe, he grew up in a home like that as well. But these are two young people who know the Lord \/ love the Lord. They are committed to one another \/ they\u2019re getting married. Would you have any special word of counsel to them because they come from a background of family divorce that you might not have for couples who are getting married out of intact families?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Absolutely. In fact, this is a tough culture to begin a marriage in, regardless of how good or how not so good your home was that you grew up in; but I would strongly encourage them, before they get married, to go to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, find someone to walk them through a good marriage preparation course, and then a mentor for the first couple of years of their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think all of those are vitally important, as a young couple starts out their marriage today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you\u2019d suggest those same things for a couple that grew up in an intact family; right?\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I would. I would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. So, now, back to my question\u2014the ones who come from a divorce background\u2014do you have any words of counsel <em>for them<\/em> that would be different than you\u2019d have for the couple who grew up in intact families?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, I would recommend that they spend some time\u2014<em>before <\/em>they get married and, then, again, <em>after<\/em> they get married\u2014addressing the issue of their family\u2019s divorce and its impact on their lives. I think the tendency of young people today\u2014who get married \/ when they fall in love\u2014is they are in love with being in love. They minimize the impact of the home that they came from. In fact, in some ways, they may resent anyone talking about the past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think that\u2019s all the more reason why the subject needs to be broached, before they get married, and have a common vocabulary for talking about some of the common experiences that they are going to have together because they will find that they approach marriage and raising a family in two different ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We are talking this week with Dr. John Trent, who has written a new book called <em>Breaking the Cycle of Divorce<\/em>. And I\u2019m guessing, John, that you would agree with Dennis\u2019s recommendation because, if you wouldn\u2019t, you\u2019re off the show; okay?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014just wanted to make that clear, right off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>John knows how to play ball. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>John, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, thanks!\u00a0 It\u2019s great to be here with you. And you know, that was a good question, though\u2014and even a good follow-up is to say, \u201cWell, what\u2019s different?\u201d\u00a0 Now, obviously, if a couple came from two intact families, I\u2019d put them through just as rigorous a boot camp as you can\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>\u2014just because\u2014not to try to break down\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I still teach the premarital class; but if they\u2019ve grown up in a home of divorce\u2014you\u2019re exactly right\u2014there is even more that has to be discussed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you and Cindy were dating\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014when you decided, \u201cLet\u2019s get married,\u201d did you guys sit down and open up the closet and say, \u201cLet\u2019s look at all the stuff that\u2019s in here and how are we going to deal with this\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You know, when Cindy and I got married, our premarital counseling was the minister going, \u201cDo you love her?\u201d\u00a0 And I go, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 And he said, \u201cOkay, well, what kind of songs do you want?\u201d\u2014that was it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That was it. So, we had no premarital preparation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when did that stuff get opened up and how did it get opened up for you guys?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>We just did it the old-fashioned way, which is\u2014six months into marriage, every\u2014just she\u2019s crying at night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wait for conflict to emerge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right. Now, thankfully, I think the thing that we did do, going into marriage is\u2014even though neither one of us came from great modeled backgrounds\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014is we had a <em>huge<\/em> commitment to Christ and a commitment to do what it would take to really build a relationship that was going to be loving and lasting\u2014and so like for example\u2014we didn\u2019t get to go to your conference because this was a long time ago. It was before you started doing yours. But Norm Wright\u2014you\u2019ve had Norm\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>\u2014on, I think, in the past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Right when we first got married, we went to a Norm Wright conference. That was one of the <em>best things<\/em> we could do. That\u2019s why I believe your conference, <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, is <em>so unbelievably helpful<\/em> for couples today because, when we went to a conference, when we were young\u2014guess what?\u2014we were sitting around other couples, and we finally got to talking with them. They were just as messed up as we were. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yet, up, in front of us, were people; and they still had problems. They weren\u2019t perfect; but they were saying: \u201cHere are some solutions. Here are some resources. Here\u2019s the encouragement,\u201d\u2014and you pray together, and you sing together, and you spend a weekend together. I mean, I push more people\u2014I should get a royalty, I think, for pushing people to your conferences, all over the country. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou do such a great job, I think, of holding out that hope. That\u2019s what a lot of us need\u2014is we need to realize that \u201cOkay, that\u2019s one thing we can do to help break that cycle of divorce\u2014is to be around people that they\u2019re really making a commitment to reverse that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me ask you\u2014if you had a couple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014let\u2019s say, instead of them being pre-married, now, they are two years in. They come from divorced backgrounds. They\u2019ve got conflict in their marriage. They go: \u201cWe don\u2019t want to get a divorce. We want the cycle to end with us\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cbut there is pain here that we\u2019re not sure where it\u2019s coming from or what to do.\u201d\u00a0 How would you begin to counsel them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>Well, there are a couple of things. Number one is\u2014I think it is hugely important for the average couple to realize that history does matter. For a lot of us, we go, \u201cOh, the past\u2014that doesn\u2019t affect me,\u201d \u201c\u2026affect me,\u201d \u201c\u2026affect me.\u201d\u00a0 Well, it does affect us. There is that sense, with me, when I finally began to look at \u201cWho was my dad?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014now, not \u201cWho was the idealized\u2026?\u201d but \u201cWho was he <em>really<\/em>?\u201d\u2014you know?\u00a0\u00a0 Then, for Cindy, as she began to deal with some of these things\u2014so, number one is\u2014you\u2019ve got to be honest with where you\u2019ve come from. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing that I think is hugely important is\u2014for a lot of us, we really believe, I think, that what builds great relationships is something dramatic. It\u2019s\u2014now, I\u2019m all for going to a conference. That can be a dramatic change kind of a thing but, then, we get home. The thing that\u2019s going to <em>sustain<\/em> growth is really a two-degree change. Can I explain what I mean by that really quickly?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Now, both of you are better than average drivers; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m stunning!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Much better than average. I am, too, even though I just went to traffic school again. But the point is that\u2014it\u2019s really interesting. There\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How fast were you going, John?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, no, it was one of those red light camera things that are in Arizona. It must have been off\u2014I\u2019m sure the camera was off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s a good illustration, though, that this kind of thing occurs in marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And there has to be some changes made. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Oh, yes. But I think, for a lot of us, what we think is\u2014the word, \u201crighteousness,\u201d in the Bible literally means to stay between the lines. The reason why you guys are good drivers is because you stay between the lines. Now, how do you do that?\u00a0 Well, you make two-degree changes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor the average person\u2014I mean, if you think about it\u2014if you\u2019re driving home, what keeps you between the lines\u2014you are consistently making small changes; okay?\u00a0 Well, I mean, go home\u2014and make ten- or twenty-degree changes to the steering wheel\u2014and you get picked up by the DUI taskforce; right? Well, because you\u2014or do what I did\u2014which was I fell asleep at the wheel, outside of Socorro, New Mexico. I went across six lanes of traffic. Does the drifting wake you up?\u00a0 No, it\u2019s when your tires are hitting the side, and that terrible sound, and I woke up. Now, I think: \u201cMan! I\u2019ve got to make a <em>huge<\/em> change.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem is\u2014if you\u2019re at speed, and you yank the wheel 180 degrees, what happens?\u00a0 You roll the car multiple times, like I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that\u2019s <em>exactly <\/em>what I see in couples all over the country. They come from a background where we think\u2014we didn\u2019t see an intact family\u2014we didn\u2019t realize, like you and Barbara have taken\u2014I mean, seriously, you have to work on your relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Just because you run a great ministry and help people all over the country\u2014I mean, you still have to work on your relationship. Cindy and I have to work on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, one of the problems, when you grow up in a divorce background is, you don\u2019t realize the two-degree shifts\u2014the small changes\u2014that have to go on all the time: the weekends where you guys go away; the times with Cindy and I, with our kids, where we\u2019re praying; or we\u2019re working through a problem. You don\u2019t see that in a divorce background. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I challenge people to do is\u2014go to a conference, like you guys\u2014the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014but then, go home and start making, all the time, little small course corrections. Can I give you a quick example of what I mean by that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s what I want. I want a couple of the course corrections. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Here is what I am getting at\u2014I used to walk in the door\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, you\u2019re tired \/ you\u2019re busy. I\u2019d say to Cindy, \u201cWell, how was your day?\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019d go, \u201cWell, it was great!\u201d\u00a0 Then, I\u2019d take off and go do something with the kids or whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were sitting down one time; and she goes: \u201cWould you do me a favor?\u00a0 Would you just ask me three questions when you get home\u2014just three questions?\u201d\u00a0 I sat down and I said, \u201cWell, that\u2019s pretty small\u201d; right?\u00a0 So, I sit down. \u201cWell, first of all, \u2018How was your day?\u2019\u201d\u2014and she answers. Then, \u201cWell, how did that make you feel?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I mean, that one always works\u2014\u201cHow did that make you feel?\u201d\u00a0 Then, \u201cWhat do you think you ought to do about it?\u201d\u00a0 Well, now, just by going home and realizing, \u201cI need to just do these three questions,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a <em>small<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s a <em>small<\/em> thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor Cindy, one of her two-degree change things was for me to hold her. Now, I didn\u2019t grow up in a touchy\/huggy kind of home. I grew up in Arizona where it\u2019s okay to hug your horse, not your kids; you know?\u00a0 So, I didn\u2019t grow up with warmth\/huggy stuff. Well, that wasn\u2019t on my list of two-degree things but, for Cindy, it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we literally did\u2014Cindy and I is\u2014we literally came up with: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat are some small, specific, positive things that we could do for each other that help us stay between the lines?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSentence prayers\u2014I don\u2019t know about you guys, but has praying together ever been a challenge?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And the problem is, too, part of it is I\u2019m a night person \/ Cindy is a morning. So, I\u2019d want to pray at night\u2014she\u2019s gone. She\u2019d want to pray in the morning, and I\u2019m just\u2014I\u2019m so groggy. So, what we began to do is\u2014every night\u2014and this is just a two-degree change\u2014but we began to say: \u201cWell, you know what?\u00a0 Before we go to bed, whoever is the first one to go to bed\u2014her or I\u2014we sit down, and we\u2019re going to pray together,\u201d\u2014even if it\u2019s just sentence prayers, not necessarily a half an hour or whatever. See what I\u2019m getting at?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s very much what I try to get people to do in this <em>Breaking the Cycle of Divorce<\/em>\u2014is realize that Almighty God can reverse the curse\u2014that we need to be around people that can provide the kind of models we never had and, then, it doesn\u2019t take a 180-degree change\u2014or we don\u2019t want to wait until we need a 180-degree change\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but we want to begin doing those small things that can keep us between the lines, and keep us safe, and get us to where we want to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your mom had been through two divorces. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yet, she instilled in you the whole idea of the sanctity of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How does a parent do that when their track record is blemished?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> question because you\u2019re right. You might think that: \u201cWell, there\u2019s got to be some inherent disconnect. Here she is\u2014telling us to do this, but she didn\u2019t do that herself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, her first husband walked out on her. She moved to Arizona\u2014met my dad, and my dad walked out on her. Both of them were alcoholics. What a shock she would pick somebody from that\u2014that was her background. She was somebody that was part of that curse, I think\u2014where it just went on, generationally. Well, she just decided, \u201cWith my family, you know what?\u2014things are going to be different.\u201d\u00a0 She did a <em>great<\/em> job in her commitment to us\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014of demonstrating what real commitment was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we came to know Christ\u2014remember?\u00a0 I came to know Christ through Young Life. Our Young Life Leader, Doug Baram\u2014who he and his wife\u2014that\u2019s whose house I used to go over and watch how he interacted with his kids, and his extended family, and things like this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, Doug led me to Christ and my twin brother, Jeff, to Christ; and my mom to Christ; my older brother, Joe, to Christ\u2014led our whole family to Christ. Once we had <em>that<\/em> going for us too\u2014I mean, that made Mom\u2019s encouragement even more. But I think her commitment to us\u2014and then, just telling us: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You\u2019re\u201d\u2014she must have told us a thousand times\u2014\u201cYou\u2019re never going to get divorced. You guys are going\u2014you\u2019re going to have great relationships.\u201d\u00a0 That began to put this positive future in our minds. I\u2019m really thankful for what she provided as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In the spirit of keeping hope alive, here for an adult child of divorce\u2014John, speak to the person who has just crossed six lanes of traffic\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and it\u2019s not a two-percent adjustment. They are listening to us today and they\u2019re going: \u201cMan! Would be to God if it was just a minor two degrees this way \/ two degrees that way, a little prayer together, some changing of how we have conflict\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re saying, \u201cThey\u2019re in the ditch, and they need a tow truck.\u201d Is that what you are saying?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m saying\u2014yes\u2014maybe, they\u2019ve had a head-on collision. They\u2019re sitting there, wondering, \u201cHow do I make this work?\u201d\u00a0 What advice would you give to that couple who are in crisis?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, you know, one of the studies we bring up in the book\u2014and you\u2019ve talked about it here on the program\u2014is remember\u2014there was a University of Chicago study that asked couples, after they had divorced\u2014five years later: \u201cWould they have gone ahead and gotten divorced if they knew what they know now?\u201d\u00a0 Almost\u2014it is 70-some percent said, \u201cIf we had tried a little harder, we could have made it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe average person drowns ten feet from shore\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201499.9 percent of people drown almost within reach of shore. I think, for a lot of people, when they were in that trauma\u2014they\u2019ve gone across six lanes of traffic, they are in the ditch, they are just\u2014and they think, \u201cOh, nothing is going to help!\u201d\u00a0 Yet, as difficult as it is\u2014five years later, the average person that did divorce looks back and says, \u201cWe could have made it\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cif we had just tried a little harder.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, not only that, but in the state of Oklahoma, they did a study of people who were on the verge of divorce and decided to stay married. Those couples\u2014five years later\u2014rated their marriage, on a five-point scale, a four or a five\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014the majority of them. These were folks who were right on the edge, hung with it, and five years later, they go, \u201cWe\u2019ve got a <em>great<\/em> marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. I think part of that is\u2014is because, once we hit that rock bottom and there is nowhere left to go\u2014number one is\u2014that\u2019s where a lot of people turn to Christ. And we realize\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know, early on, in our marriage\u2014you asked the question\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014Dr. Rainey asked me the question, \u201cDo I ever think about divorce?\u201d\u00a0 Of course, my first thought was, \u201cNo, I\u2026\u201d\u2014but as I began to think about that, I can remember, when I was in my doctoral program, and was looking at all of my background, and all these divorce things, and all this stuff back here\u2014you know, I think there really have been some times in my life, where I\u2019ve thought: \u201cIt would be almost easier to just quit working. This is so hard.\u201d\u00a0 I look at some of these other couples, and they don\u2019t have to\u2014seems like they don\u2019t have to work hard at all. They just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It <em>seems<\/em> like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong><em>Seems<\/em> like\u2014and that\u2019s right\u2014until you get to know them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t know the hard work Barbara and I do. [Laughter] You just think your work is harder than ours. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>I know; but you look at them and you think: \u201cOh, they have it so much easier; and Cindy and I have it so tough\u2014she came from a tough background and I did too. You know what?\u00a0 Maybe, we just didn\u2019t <em>find<\/em> the right person\u201d and so, it\u2019s \u201c\u2026and so, maybe\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Or it\u2019s: \u201cI just want the pain to stop.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. <em>And yet<\/em>\u2014<em>and yet<\/em>\u2014\u201cPlease Lord,\u201d\u2014the person, who is listening right now\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and they realize we are talking <em>right to them<\/em>. I mean, they\u2019ve had to pull their car over almost because they realize this is who they are. I would just pray that they would realize that they are ten feet from shore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, they are close to a church that can provide some help for them if they\u2019d just reach out to that church. They could find another couple. They can grab a book. They can go to one of your conferences. They can, maybe, just get down tonight and say, \u201cLord, I feel like we are at rock bottom.\u201d\u00a0 Well, that is a great place to meet Christ. I mean, that is a great place to be\u2014is to just say, \u201cOkay.\u201d I can remember\u2014it was during those early years of marriage, with Cindy and I\u2014that I just realized: \u201cWe can\u2019t make it on our own. Lord, we need You to reverse that curse.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it\u2019s at the rock bottom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014that many people find Christ. As you were talking, I was thinking about a passage that I don\u2019t hear preached on near enough today\u2014it\u2019s Romans 12:1, 2\u2014\u201cI urge you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDon\u2019t be conformed to this world\u201d\u2014stating that another way\u2014\u201cDon\u2019t do as the world does.\u201d\u00a0 How does the world do it?\u2014it severs the relationship, it tosses the towel in, It calls it quits. \u201cDo not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the hope of my marriage is with Jesus Christ being the Master and Lord\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014of Dennis and Barbara Rainey. I mean, we would not be married today\u2014we are both two very strong-willed people. Even though both of us came from intact families\u2014I\u2019m going to tell you something\u2014I think we worked every bit as hard, John, as you have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes; amen. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I say that to say, \u201cMarriage is hard work.\u201d\u00a0 Even with Christ, submitting to Him, it\u2019s not always easy because it means death to self. I would just challenge that person, who has thought about pulling off the road and doing some business with God\u2014maybe, you just need to come to the conclusion: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You\u2019ve done it your way. Where has that gotten you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cHow has that worked?\u201d\u00a0 Maybe, you\u2019ve failed before in a marriage relationship. Where are you now?\u00a0 What\u2019s your plan for making this marriage better than the last one?\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s\u2014there is none. You\u2019re just Plan B. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead, why don\u2019t you submit to the One who can take two imperfect people and meld them into one?\u00a0 I think a part of the solution to that, Bob, is getting a copy of John\u2019s book, <em>Breaking the Cycle of Divorce<\/em>, because undoubtedly some of those who are listening right now have that as a part of their background. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is a part of what is contributing to the thought of ending their relationship in divorce. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I just appreciate the fact that the book is not simply a study of this issue, but it comes from the heart of one who has had to walk through it\u2014who has had to live through it and knows about his own past. You\u2019ve learned this, not just clinically\u2014you\u2019ve learned this experientially. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, next\u2014 there is another cycle that John needs to break. It\u2019s the cycle of calling you, \u201cDr. Rainey.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, I thought that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you slip him some money?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I thought that was cool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>High honor. Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think that was cool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have I ever called you, \u201cDr. Rainey\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, I don\u2019t think you have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Would that give me any place if I did?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Probably not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Too many years together behind the microphone. I do want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to John for joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You\u2019re a good friend, and I just appreciate your biblical-centric approach to addressing the needs of marriages and families. You\u2019re a good comrade in the battle for the family today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>Well, thanks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s high praise. The Lord bless you guys. Bob, thank you for getting to be with you too. It\u2019s an honor to get to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Just call him \u201cDoctor\u201d\u2014\u201cDr. \/ Dr. Lepine.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I don\u2019t have it, but you can go ahead and call me it. Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of John\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. If you\u2019d like a copy of the book, <em>Breaking the Cycle of Divorce: How Your Marriage Can Succeed Even If Your Parents\u2019 Didn\u2019t<\/em>, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. When you click on the link in the upper left-hand corner that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d it\u2019ll take you right where you need to go to find out more about John\u2019s book. You can order it from us, online, or you can order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title is <em>Breaking the Cycle of Divorce<\/em> by Dr. John Trent. And you can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say\u2014if you want to do some preventative maintenance for your marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014get out to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, as a couple, and spend a weekend talking about how you are doing, as a couple, and learning about what God has to say about how a marriage can thrive\u2014what His intention for marriage was in the first place \/ His design for the marriage relationship. If you\u2019d like to find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, call 1-800-FL-TODAY. We\u2019ll answer any questions you have; or go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to mention a couple of resources we are making available this month to the folks who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I think most of you, who listen regularly, know that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is sponsored by you\u2014listeners, like you, who periodically will pitch in to help cover the costs of producing and syndicating this daily radio program. You make this program possible for your community and, of course, for your family as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this month, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for whatever donation you can make to help support us,\u201d by sending you your choice of either Scott Stanley\u2019s book about commitment in marriage called <em>A Lasting Promise<\/em> or Ron Deal\u2019s book called <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>. Both of these books have recently been revised and updated, and we\u2019d love to send you your choice of either book when you help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can do that, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d\u00a0 When you make an online donation, you can let us know which of these two books you\u2019d like for us to send to you. Or you can request a copy of either book when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation; and you can also request a copy of either book when you mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us. Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend. And I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to do a little eavesdropping. We\u2019re going to sit in on a conversation that Barbara Rainey had recently with a group of young moms talking about issues moms face. You\u2019ll get a chance to hear her tackle some of their questions on Monday. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.83M"],"filesize_raw":["28128685"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303459.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303459.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Trent, author of the book \"Breaking the Cycle of Divorce,\" gives some sound advice to couples coming out of a divorce background.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you grew up in a family, where divorce is a part of your background, and you find yourself in a marriage\u2014things just aren\u2019t going the way you hoped they would and there is pain\u2014what do you do?\u00a0 Here\u2019s how John Trent counsels couples in a situation like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Realize that Almighty God can reverse the curse. We need to be around people that can provide the kind of models we never had and, then, it doesn\u2019t take a 180 degree change\u2014or we don\u2019t want to wait until we need a 180 degree change\u2014but we want to begin doing those small things that can keep us between the lines, and keep us safe, and get us to where we want to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, April 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to talk today about some of the things all of us can do to make sure our marriages stay on track. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. If you knew a couple today, Dennis\u2014a young couple getting married\u2014she had grown up in a home, where her mom and dad had gotten divorced \/ maybe, he grew up in a home like that as well. But these are two young people who know the Lord \/ love the Lord. They are committed to one another \/ they\u2019re getting married. Would you have any special word of counsel to them because they come from a background of family divorce that you might not have for couples who are getting married out of intact families?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Absolutely. In fact, this is a tough culture to begin a marriage in, regardless of how good or how not so good your home was that you grew up in; but I would strongly encourage them, before they get married, to go to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, find someone to walk them through a good marriage preparation course, and then a mentor for the first couple of years of their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think all of those are vitally important, as a young couple starts out their marriage today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you\u2019d suggest those same things for a couple that grew up in an intact family; right?\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I would. I would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. So, now, back to my question\u2014the ones who come from a divorce background\u2014do you have any words of counsel <em>for them<\/em> that would be different than you\u2019d have for the couple who grew up in intact families?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, I would recommend that they spend some time\u2014<em>before <\/em>they get married and, then, again, <em>after<\/em> they get married\u2014addressing the issue of their family\u2019s divorce and its impact on their lives. I think the tendency of young people today\u2014who get married \/ when they fall in love\u2014is they are in love with being in love. They minimize the impact of the home that they came from. In fact, in some ways, they may resent anyone talking about the past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think that\u2019s all the more reason why the subject needs to be broached, before they get married, and have a common vocabulary for talking about some of the common experiences that they are going to have together because they will find that they approach marriage and raising a family in two different ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We are talking this week with Dr. John Trent, who has written a new book called <em>Breaking the Cycle of Divorce<\/em>. And I\u2019m guessing, John, that you would agree with Dennis\u2019s recommendation because, if you wouldn\u2019t, you\u2019re off the show; okay?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014just wanted to make that clear, right off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>John knows how to play ball. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>John, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, thanks!\u00a0 It\u2019s great to be here with you. And you know, that was a good question, though\u2014and even a good follow-up is to say, \u201cWell, what\u2019s different?\u201d\u00a0 Now, obviously, if a couple came from two intact families, I\u2019d put them through just as rigorous a boot camp as you can\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>\u2014just because\u2014not to try to break down\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I still teach the premarital class; but if they\u2019ve grown up in a home of divorce\u2014you\u2019re exactly right\u2014there is even more that has to be discussed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you and Cindy were dating\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014when you decided, \u201cLet\u2019s get married,\u201d did you guys sit down and open up the closet and say, \u201cLet\u2019s look at all the stuff that\u2019s in here and how are we going to deal with this\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You know, when Cindy and I got married, our premarital counseling was the minister going, \u201cDo you love her?\u201d\u00a0 And I go, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 And he said, \u201cOkay, well, what kind of songs do you want?\u201d\u2014that was it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That was it. So, we had no premarital preparation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when did that stuff get opened up and how did it get opened up for you guys?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>We just did it the old-fashioned way, which is\u2014six months into marriage, every\u2014just she\u2019s crying at night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wait for conflict to emerge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right. Now, thankfully, I think the thing that we did do, going into marriage is\u2014even though neither one of us came from great modeled backgrounds\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014is we had a <em>huge<\/em> commitment to Christ and a commitment to do what it would take to really build a relationship that was going to be loving and lasting\u2014and so like for example\u2014we didn\u2019t get to go to your conference because this was a long time ago. It was before you started doing yours. But Norm Wright\u2014you\u2019ve had Norm\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>\u2014on, I think, in the past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Right when we first got married, we went to a Norm Wright conference. That was one of the <em>best things<\/em> we could do. That\u2019s why I believe your conference, <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, is <em>so unbelievably helpful<\/em> for couples today because, when we went to a conference, when we were young\u2014guess what?\u2014we were sitting around other couples, and we finally got to talking with them. They were just as messed up as we were. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yet, up, in front of us, were people; and they still had problems. They weren\u2019t perfect; but they were saying: \u201cHere are some solutions. Here are some resources. Here\u2019s the encouragement,\u201d\u2014and you pray together, and you sing together, and you spend a weekend together. I mean, I push more people\u2014I should get a royalty, I think, for pushing people to your conferences, all over the country. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou do such a great job, I think, of holding out that hope. That\u2019s what a lot of us need\u2014is we need to realize that \u201cOkay, that\u2019s one thing we can do to help break that cycle of divorce\u2014is to be around people that they\u2019re really making a commitment to reverse that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me ask you\u2014if you had a couple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014let\u2019s say, instead of them being pre-married, now, they are two years in. They come from divorced backgrounds. They\u2019ve got conflict in their marriage. They go: \u201cWe don\u2019t want to get a divorce. We want the cycle to end with us\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cbut there is pain here that we\u2019re not sure where it\u2019s coming from or what to do.\u201d\u00a0 How would you begin to counsel them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>Well, there are a couple of things. Number one is\u2014I think it is hugely important for the average couple to realize that history does matter. For a lot of us, we go, \u201cOh, the past\u2014that doesn\u2019t affect me,\u201d \u201c\u2026affect me,\u201d \u201c\u2026affect me.\u201d\u00a0 Well, it does affect us. There is that sense, with me, when I finally began to look at \u201cWho was my dad?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014now, not \u201cWho was the idealized\u2026?\u201d but \u201cWho was he <em>really<\/em>?\u201d\u2014you know?\u00a0\u00a0 Then, for Cindy, as she began to deal with some of these things\u2014so, number one is\u2014you\u2019ve got to be honest with where you\u2019ve come from. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing that I think is hugely important is\u2014for a lot of us, we really believe, I think, that what builds great relationships is something dramatic. It\u2019s\u2014now, I\u2019m all for going to a conference. That can be a dramatic change kind of a thing but, then, we get home. The thing that\u2019s going to <em>sustain<\/em> growth is really a two-degree change. Can I explain what I mean by that really quickly?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Now, both of you are better than average drivers; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m stunning!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Much better than average. I am, too, even though I just went to traffic school again. But the point is that\u2014it\u2019s really interesting. There\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How fast were you going, John?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, no, it was one of those red light camera things that are in Arizona. It must have been off\u2014I\u2019m sure the camera was off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s a good illustration, though, that this kind of thing occurs in marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And there has to be some changes made. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Oh, yes. But I think, for a lot of us, what we think is\u2014the word, \u201crighteousness,\u201d in the Bible literally means to stay between the lines. The reason why you guys are good drivers is because you stay between the lines. Now, how do you do that?\u00a0 Well, you make two-degree changes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor the average person\u2014I mean, if you think about it\u2014if you\u2019re driving home, what keeps you between the lines\u2014you are consistently making small changes; okay?\u00a0 Well, I mean, go home\u2014and make ten- or twenty-degree changes to the steering wheel\u2014and you get picked up by the DUI taskforce; right? Well, because you\u2014or do what I did\u2014which was I fell asleep at the wheel, outside of Socorro, New Mexico. I went across six lanes of traffic. Does the drifting wake you up?\u00a0 No, it\u2019s when your tires are hitting the side, and that terrible sound, and I woke up. Now, I think: \u201cMan! I\u2019ve got to make a <em>huge<\/em> change.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem is\u2014if you\u2019re at speed, and you yank the wheel 180 degrees, what happens?\u00a0 You roll the car multiple times, like I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that\u2019s <em>exactly <\/em>what I see in couples all over the country. They come from a background where we think\u2014we didn\u2019t see an intact family\u2014we didn\u2019t realize, like you and Barbara have taken\u2014I mean, seriously, you have to work on your relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Just because you run a great ministry and help people all over the country\u2014I mean, you still have to work on your relationship. Cindy and I have to work on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, one of the problems, when you grow up in a divorce background is, you don\u2019t realize the two-degree shifts\u2014the small changes\u2014that have to go on all the time: the weekends where you guys go away; the times with Cindy and I, with our kids, where we\u2019re praying; or we\u2019re working through a problem. You don\u2019t see that in a divorce background. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I challenge people to do is\u2014go to a conference, like you guys\u2014the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014but then, go home and start making, all the time, little small course corrections. Can I give you a quick example of what I mean by that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s what I want. I want a couple of the course corrections. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Here is what I am getting at\u2014I used to walk in the door\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, you\u2019re tired \/ you\u2019re busy. I\u2019d say to Cindy, \u201cWell, how was your day?\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019d go, \u201cWell, it was great!\u201d\u00a0 Then, I\u2019d take off and go do something with the kids or whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were sitting down one time; and she goes: \u201cWould you do me a favor?\u00a0 Would you just ask me three questions when you get home\u2014just three questions?\u201d\u00a0 I sat down and I said, \u201cWell, that\u2019s pretty small\u201d; right?\u00a0 So, I sit down. \u201cWell, first of all, \u2018How was your day?\u2019\u201d\u2014and she answers. Then, \u201cWell, how did that make you feel?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I mean, that one always works\u2014\u201cHow did that make you feel?\u201d\u00a0 Then, \u201cWhat do you think you ought to do about it?\u201d\u00a0 Well, now, just by going home and realizing, \u201cI need to just do these three questions,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a <em>small<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s a <em>small<\/em> thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor Cindy, one of her two-degree change things was for me to hold her. Now, I didn\u2019t grow up in a touchy\/huggy kind of home. I grew up in Arizona where it\u2019s okay to hug your horse, not your kids; you know?\u00a0 So, I didn\u2019t grow up with warmth\/huggy stuff. Well, that wasn\u2019t on my list of two-degree things but, for Cindy, it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we literally did\u2014Cindy and I is\u2014we literally came up with: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat are some small, specific, positive things that we could do for each other that help us stay between the lines?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSentence prayers\u2014I don\u2019t know about you guys, but has praying together ever been a challenge?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And the problem is, too, part of it is I\u2019m a night person \/ Cindy is a morning. So, I\u2019d want to pray at night\u2014she\u2019s gone. She\u2019d want to pray in the morning, and I\u2019m just\u2014I\u2019m so groggy. So, what we began to do is\u2014every night\u2014and this is just a two-degree change\u2014but we began to say: \u201cWell, you know what?\u00a0 Before we go to bed, whoever is the first one to go to bed\u2014her or I\u2014we sit down, and we\u2019re going to pray together,\u201d\u2014even if it\u2019s just sentence prayers, not necessarily a half an hour or whatever. See what I\u2019m getting at?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s very much what I try to get people to do in this <em>Breaking the Cycle of Divorce<\/em>\u2014is realize that Almighty God can reverse the curse\u2014that we need to be around people that can provide the kind of models we never had and, then, it doesn\u2019t take a 180-degree change\u2014or we don\u2019t want to wait until we need a 180-degree change\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but we want to begin doing those small things that can keep us between the lines, and keep us safe, and get us to where we want to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your mom had been through two divorces. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yet, she instilled in you the whole idea of the sanctity of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How does a parent do that when their track record is blemished?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> question because you\u2019re right. You might think that: \u201cWell, there\u2019s got to be some inherent disconnect. Here she is\u2014telling us to do this, but she didn\u2019t do that herself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, her first husband walked out on her. She moved to Arizona\u2014met my dad, and my dad walked out on her. Both of them were alcoholics. What a shock she would pick somebody from that\u2014that was her background. She was somebody that was part of that curse, I think\u2014where it just went on, generationally. Well, she just decided, \u201cWith my family, you know what?\u2014things are going to be different.\u201d\u00a0 She did a <em>great<\/em> job in her commitment to us\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014of demonstrating what real commitment was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we came to know Christ\u2014remember?\u00a0 I came to know Christ through Young Life. Our Young Life Leader, Doug Baram\u2014who he and his wife\u2014that\u2019s whose house I used to go over and watch how he interacted with his kids, and his extended family, and things like this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, Doug led me to Christ and my twin brother, Jeff, to Christ; and my mom to Christ; my older brother, Joe, to Christ\u2014led our whole family to Christ. Once we had <em>that<\/em> going for us too\u2014I mean, that made Mom\u2019s encouragement even more. But I think her commitment to us\u2014and then, just telling us: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You\u2019re\u201d\u2014she must have told us a thousand times\u2014\u201cYou\u2019re never going to get divorced. You guys are going\u2014you\u2019re going to have great relationships.\u201d\u00a0 That began to put this positive future in our minds. I\u2019m really thankful for what she provided as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In the spirit of keeping hope alive, here for an adult child of divorce\u2014John, speak to the person who has just crossed six lanes of traffic\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and it\u2019s not a two-percent adjustment. They are listening to us today and they\u2019re going: \u201cMan! Would be to God if it was just a minor two degrees this way \/ two degrees that way, a little prayer together, some changing of how we have conflict\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re saying, \u201cThey\u2019re in the ditch, and they need a tow truck.\u201d Is that what you are saying?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m saying\u2014yes\u2014maybe, they\u2019ve had a head-on collision. They\u2019re sitting there, wondering, \u201cHow do I make this work?\u201d\u00a0 What advice would you give to that couple who are in crisis?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, you know, one of the studies we bring up in the book\u2014and you\u2019ve talked about it here on the program\u2014is remember\u2014there was a University of Chicago study that asked couples, after they had divorced\u2014five years later: \u201cWould they have gone ahead and gotten divorced if they knew what they know now?\u201d\u00a0 Almost\u2014it is 70-some percent said, \u201cIf we had tried a little harder, we could have made it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe average person drowns ten feet from shore\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201499.9 percent of people drown almost within reach of shore. I think, for a lot of people, when they were in that trauma\u2014they\u2019ve gone across six lanes of traffic, they are in the ditch, they are just\u2014and they think, \u201cOh, nothing is going to help!\u201d\u00a0 Yet, as difficult as it is\u2014five years later, the average person that did divorce looks back and says, \u201cWe could have made it\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cif we had just tried a little harder.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, not only that, but in the state of Oklahoma, they did a study of people who were on the verge of divorce and decided to stay married. Those couples\u2014five years later\u2014rated their marriage, on a five-point scale, a four or a five\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014the majority of them. These were folks who were right on the edge, hung with it, and five years later, they go, \u201cWe\u2019ve got a <em>great<\/em> marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. I think part of that is\u2014is because, once we hit that rock bottom and there is nowhere left to go\u2014number one is\u2014that\u2019s where a lot of people turn to Christ. And we realize\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know, early on, in our marriage\u2014you asked the question\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014Dr. Rainey asked me the question, \u201cDo I ever think about divorce?\u201d\u00a0 Of course, my first thought was, \u201cNo, I\u2026\u201d\u2014but as I began to think about that, I can remember, when I was in my doctoral program, and was looking at all of my background, and all these divorce things, and all this stuff back here\u2014you know, I think there really have been some times in my life, where I\u2019ve thought: \u201cIt would be almost easier to just quit working. This is so hard.\u201d\u00a0 I look at some of these other couples, and they don\u2019t have to\u2014seems like they don\u2019t have to work hard at all. They just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It <em>seems<\/em> like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong><em>Seems<\/em> like\u2014and that\u2019s right\u2014until you get to know them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t know the hard work Barbara and I do. [Laughter] You just think your work is harder than ours. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>I know; but you look at them and you think: \u201cOh, they have it so much easier; and Cindy and I have it so tough\u2014she came from a tough background and I did too. You know what?\u00a0 Maybe, we just didn\u2019t <em>find<\/em> the right person\u201d and so, it\u2019s \u201c\u2026and so, maybe\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Or it\u2019s: \u201cI just want the pain to stop.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. <em>And yet<\/em>\u2014<em>and yet<\/em>\u2014\u201cPlease Lord,\u201d\u2014the person, who is listening right now\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and they realize we are talking <em>right to them<\/em>. I mean, they\u2019ve had to pull their car over almost because they realize this is who they are. I would just pray that they would realize that they are ten feet from shore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, they are close to a church that can provide some help for them if they\u2019d just reach out to that church. They could find another couple. They can grab a book. They can go to one of your conferences. They can, maybe, just get down tonight and say, \u201cLord, I feel like we are at rock bottom.\u201d\u00a0 Well, that is a great place to meet Christ. I mean, that is a great place to be\u2014is to just say, \u201cOkay.\u201d I can remember\u2014it was during those early years of marriage, with Cindy and I\u2014that I just realized: \u201cWe can\u2019t make it on our own. Lord, we need You to reverse that curse.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it\u2019s at the rock bottom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014that many people find Christ. As you were talking, I was thinking about a passage that I don\u2019t hear preached on near enough today\u2014it\u2019s Romans 12:1, 2\u2014\u201cI urge you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDon\u2019t be conformed to this world\u201d\u2014stating that another way\u2014\u201cDon\u2019t do as the world does.\u201d\u00a0 How does the world do it?\u2014it severs the relationship, it tosses the towel in, It calls it quits. \u201cDo not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the hope of my marriage is with Jesus Christ being the Master and Lord\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014of Dennis and Barbara Rainey. I mean, we would not be married today\u2014we are both two very strong-willed people. Even though both of us came from intact families\u2014I\u2019m going to tell you something\u2014I think we worked every bit as hard, John, as you have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes; amen. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I say that to say, \u201cMarriage is hard work.\u201d\u00a0 Even with Christ, submitting to Him, it\u2019s not always easy because it means death to self. I would just challenge that person, who has thought about pulling off the road and doing some business with God\u2014maybe, you just need to come to the conclusion: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You\u2019ve done it your way. Where has that gotten you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cHow has that worked?\u201d\u00a0 Maybe, you\u2019ve failed before in a marriage relationship. Where are you now?\u00a0 What\u2019s your plan for making this marriage better than the last one?\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s\u2014there is none. You\u2019re just Plan B. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead, why don\u2019t you submit to the One who can take two imperfect people and meld them into one?\u00a0 I think a part of the solution to that, Bob, is getting a copy of John\u2019s book, <em>Breaking the Cycle of Divorce<\/em>, because undoubtedly some of those who are listening right now have that as a part of their background. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is a part of what is contributing to the thought of ending their relationship in divorce. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I just appreciate the fact that the book is not simply a study of this issue, but it comes from the heart of one who has had to walk through it\u2014who has had to live through it and knows about his own past. You\u2019ve learned this, not just clinically\u2014you\u2019ve learned this experientially. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, next\u2014 there is another cycle that John needs to break. It\u2019s the cycle of calling you, \u201cDr. Rainey.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, I thought that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you slip him some money?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I thought that was cool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>High honor. Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think that was cool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have I ever called you, \u201cDr. Rainey\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, I don\u2019t think you have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Would that give me any place if I did?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Probably not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Too many years together behind the microphone. I do want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to John for joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You\u2019re a good friend, and I just appreciate your biblical-centric approach to addressing the needs of marriages and families. You\u2019re a good comrade in the battle for the family today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>Well, thanks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s high praise. The Lord bless you guys. Bob, thank you for getting to be with you too. It\u2019s an honor to get to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Just call him \u201cDoctor\u201d\u2014\u201cDr. \/ Dr. Lepine.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I don\u2019t have it, but you can go ahead and call me it. Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of John\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. If you\u2019d like a copy of the book, <em>Breaking the Cycle of Divorce: How Your Marriage Can Succeed Even If Your Parents\u2019 Didn\u2019t<\/em>, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. When you click on the link in the upper left-hand corner that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d it\u2019ll take you right where you need to go to find out more about John\u2019s book. You can order it from us, online, or you can order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title is <em>Breaking the Cycle of Divorce<\/em> by Dr. John Trent. And you can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say\u2014if you want to do some preventative maintenance for your marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014get out to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, as a couple, and spend a weekend talking about how you are doing, as a couple, and learning about what God has to say about how a marriage can thrive\u2014what His intention for marriage was in the first place \/ His design for the marriage relationship. If you\u2019d like to find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, call 1-800-FL-TODAY. We\u2019ll answer any questions you have; or go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to mention a couple of resources we are making available this month to the folks who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I think most of you, who listen regularly, know that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is sponsored by you\u2014listeners, like you, who periodically will pitch in to help cover the costs of producing and syndicating this daily radio program. You make this program possible for your community and, of course, for your family as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this month, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for whatever donation you can make to help support us,\u201d by sending you your choice of either Scott Stanley\u2019s book about commitment in marriage called <em>A Lasting Promise<\/em> or Ron Deal\u2019s book called <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>. Both of these books have recently been revised and updated, and we\u2019d love to send you your choice of either book when you help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can do that, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d\u00a0 When you make an online donation, you can let us know which of these two books you\u2019d like for us to send to you. Or you can request a copy of either book when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation; and you can also request a copy of either book when you mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us. Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend. And I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to do a little eavesdropping. We\u2019re going to sit in on a conversation that Barbara Rainey had recently with a group of young moms talking about issues moms face. You\u2019ll get a chance to hear her tackle some of their questions on Monday. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303459","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303459"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303459"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303459"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303459"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}