{"id":303451,"date":"2015-04-06T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-04-06T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/marriage-and-worship\/"},"modified":"2015-04-06T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-04-06T15:00:00","slug":"marriage-and-worship","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-and-worship\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriage and Worship"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gary Thomas explores God&#8217;s purpose for marriage and explains how the best marriages are those steeped in worship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-06.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.12M","filesize_raw":"24246801","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809],"tags":[2877],"podcast_series":[8072],"cwp_profile":[3158],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303451","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","tag-marriage","podcast_series-discovering-a-lifelong-love","cwp_profile-gary-thomas","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303451\/marriage-and-worship","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303451\/marriage-and-worship","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"SeGE2Lindd\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-and-worship\/\">Marriage and Worship<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-and-worship\/embed\/#?secret=SeGE2Lindd\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Marriage and Worship&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"SeGE2Lindd\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-06.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-06.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you love God and you begin to realize that your husband or your wife is God\u2019s daughter \/ God\u2019s son, that makes God your Heavenly Father-in-law. Author and speaker, Gary Thomas, says, \u201cWhen you start to realize how all of this fits together, that changes the way you love your spouse, no matter what stage your marriage is in.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>Everything in the world about romantic love fades\u2014but here is the thing\u2014she will never stop being God\u2019s daughter. She can be an 85-year-old, arthritic Alzheimer\u2019s patient, who doesn\u2019t even know who I am\u2014and she\u2019ll be no less God\u2019s daughter then than she is today. So, when my love for my wife is connected to my reverence for Him, then, I\u2019m going to have a lifelong love, regardless of what happens with her or with our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, April 6<sup>th<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to explore today how our reverence for God has an impact on how we love one another in marriage. Our guest is Gary Thomas. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I have to think anybody, who has listened to us for any length of time, knows that we believe marriage is designed by God to go the distance. It\u2019s not just something you try on for a while and, then, if it\u2019s not working out, you try something different; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In fact, we get emails, letters, and phone calls. I run into people, all over the country\u2014I ran into a person yesterday who said: \u201cThank you that you guys continually put the\u2014well\u2014the lifelong commitment in front of folks. You\u2019ve given me the courage to keep mine\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cduring some very difficult times in our marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and what we try to stress to folks is that the commitment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the covenant we\u2019ve made to one another is\u2014not simply: \u201cI will endure a lifelong relationship with you, no matter how bad it gets.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s really a whole lot more than that. I mean, I promised more than just, \u201cI\u2019ll stick this out when things get bad,\u201d\u2014I promised to love, and honor, and cherish, and all of those other good things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right; and our guest on the broadcast today, Gary Thomas\u2014I\u2019ll go ahead and introduce, Gary. Gary\u2014welcome back to the broadcast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>It feels like home to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I was getting ready to say, \u201cGary is such a kindred spirit.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> begins with a really noble high calling and the purpose that God created for marriage as its North Star. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think one of the successes of the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> has been that we haven\u2019t allowed the culture to define marriage for us. We\u2019ve gone back to the Bible, and we\u2019ve allowed the Scriptures to speak, which is what Gary does in his writing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, for those of you who don\u2019t know Gary\u2014and I know there is probably one or two\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think\u2014I think I counted\u2014there are seven. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There are seven people\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014in the country who don\u2019t know Gary. Gary\u2019s books have been translated into more than a dozen languages, [he] has won a number of awards and really is a great thinker in marriage, and family, and spiritual formation. He and his wife live in Houston, Texas. They have three children. He is writer-in-residence of Second Baptist Church, and he\u2019s just completed a book called <em>A Lifelong Love<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you begin this book talking about how an eternal perspective of marriage is bedrock\u2014it\u2019s essential. You\u2019ve got to have it if you\u2019re going to be successful in building a lifelong love, like you\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>I\u2019m a huge fan of marriage, but God didn\u2019t create any of us to be satisfied in our marriage. That is setting the bar far too low. He created us so that we find our greatest meaning and purpose in a life of worship, and service, and sharing fellowship\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or what we would call love. And so, we have to understand that, even when we talk about something like marriage, we have to place it in that wider context. I use the phrase, \u201ca magnificent obsession\u201d to get people to lift their heights so that\u2014I believe it gives purpose to our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the reality\u2014the human condition is such that none of us are so incredible that we keep somebody <em>fascinated<\/em> for five or six decades. We\u2019re just not\u2014that\u2019s the human condition. Five or six dates\u2014no problem. Five or six years starts to be more of a challenge. But when we connect our marriage to things that grow\u2014like worship\u2014for me, one of the most transforming aspects of marriage is when I really began to connect my marriage with my life of worship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe brilliant thing about worship\u2014it\u2019s not just a religious concept\u2014the more you worship God, the more you <em>want<\/em> to worship God because that\u2019s what God created you to do. The more you get to see how beautiful He is, the more you want to spend time in His presence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when my marriage is based on worship\u2014and worship is something that grows\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014then, everything else that the world tends to base marriage on\u2014personal appearance, present level of happiness, and satisfaction, and comfort\u2014not taking into account the fact that we get sick, or that we can get disappointed, or have disappointments\u2014all of those things tear marriage down. When marriage is based on worship, and relating to God, and an eternal perspective\u2014those things become more important as you age, not less. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, you\u2019re going to have to help me out, though, because I was following\u2014marriage should have an eternal purpose and we should see it in light of eternity\u2014and then, you talk about marriage being connected to worship. I think a lot of listeners are saying: \u201cWhat does that <em>look like<\/em> for marriage to be connected to worship?\u00a0 I mean, how does that happen on a daily basis in my home?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, give us a working definition of worship because I think that\u2019s where a lot of folks miss it, Gary. They don\u2019t really understand what it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>For me, it came out of a bad episode in my marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was not being a very good husband. God was convicting me in prayer, and He applied 1 John 3:1\u2014which I\u2019d always applied to myself\u2014\u201cBehold what manner of love the Father has given us that we should be called children of God.\u201d\u00a0 I claimed that, as a single man: \u201cI\u2019m God\u2019s son. He loves me as a son. That\u2019s a relationship that can never break.\u201d\u00a0 But God was now challenging me to apply it to my wife. He said: \u201cGary, Lisa isn\u2019t just your wife. She\u2019s My daughter, and I expect you to treat her accordingly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I had kids, I got it! The best way to get on my good side is to be good to one of my kids. If you want to get on my bad side, be mean to one of my kids. I\u2019d rather you mess with me than one of my children. When I began to see that God looked at my wife, His daughter, just as I look at my kids, everything about my marriage changed. I realized one of the best forms of worship I could have is to love God\u2019s little girl. It\u2019s scary to me\u2014at this stage in my life with two daughters of marriageable age\u2014how <em>desperately<\/em> I want them to be loved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>And there are two men that could make me among the happiest men on earth\u2014not by ever doing anything for me, not by complimenting me, not by giving me anything. If I watch them love my daughters well, they will be two of my favorite people on this planet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, I began looking at God, not just as my Heavenly Father, but my Heavenly Father-in-law. That changed everything about my marriage. It changed the way I pray about my wife. If somebody is complaining about my kids, I would be saying: \u201cWell, I know, but have you seen this?\u00a0 Or have you seen that?\u201d\u00a0 I <em>know<\/em> my kids have faults, and I know what those faults are; but that doesn\u2019t change the fact that I am passionate about seeing them loved and supported rather than torn down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A part of what convicted you about the need to treat your wife as God\u2019s daughter was a statement made by your father-in-law at the rehearsal dinner\u2014is that right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>It was; it was. I had a wonderful earthly father-in-law. He wasn\u2019t a particularly emotional man, but he broke down in tears at our wedding rehearsal\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014in a good way \/ not a bad way. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe battled cancer, near the end of his life, for seven years. Cancer is one of those things\u2014you just learn to hate cancer because you see how it tears apart families\u2014it takes kids \/ it takes parents. But the one thing cancer can give you is a time to say goodbye\u2014a time to go back and tell people what\u2019s what. We had one of those conversations. He explained what happened\u2014he said: \u201cGary, on the night before you married Lisa, I just thought to myself: \u2018I don\u2019t have to worry about Lisa. She\u2019s going to be okay.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And that just overwhelmingly\u2014he just felt like: \u201cOkay, something\u2019s really done. My little girl is going to be fine. She has found a good man, who is going to stand by her.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talk to so many people, who have legitimate frustrations in their marriage\u2014a woman, who married a man, thinking of long soulful discussions, late into the night, and then realized, six months after the marriage, that she married a man who wouldn\u2019t know an emotion if it bit him on the nose until he bled. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA man who married a woman\u2014maybe for a lot of selfish reasons, not realizing that she had an attitude that he missed because he was infatuated\u2014or that she would have a serious bout with breast cancer and, perhaps later, with Alzheimer\u2019s. They might want to say, \u201cI didn\u2019t sign up for this.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI go back to those tears, at my wedding rehearsal\u2014and I think of God, as my Heavenly Father-in-law\u2014saying: \u201cI know you might not have thought stood up for this. But if you could have seen Me on that day, talking with the angels: \u2018My daughter has found a good man. He will support her. He will stand behind her. This is a day to rejoice,\u2019 or \u2018My son has found a good woman. She will lift him up to be more than he could have been on his own. She\u2019ll affirm him. She\u2019ll strengthen him. She\u2019ll nurture him to the place where he can be the man I created him to be. Let\u2019s rejoice. Let\u2019s have a party. I\u2019m crying tears of joy because My son has found a good woman to love him.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur marriages are about far more than our own happiness. Our marriages are about <em>God\u2019s<\/em> happiness, and I want to bring great joy to heaven. That\u2019s what could be so overwhelming to listen. We feel so insignificant in this world; and yet, each person listening to us could bring great joy to our Heavenly Father by loving one of His sons or daughters supremely well today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, the epiphany that you experienced\u2014when you talk about realizing that your wife, Lisa, is God\u2019s daughter \/ not just your wife\u2014I remember reading passages in the New Testament that would describe how we are to treat one another in the body of Christ. You\u2019re to love one another, honor one another, greet one another with a holy kiss\u2014all of these, I think, 50-plus \u201cone another\u201d statements in the epistles are about how we\u2019re to deal with one another. I had always applied that to: \u201cThis is how I should act with people, who I go to church with\u2014I should encourage them, and I should affirm them, I should rebuke them if necessary\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014all of these things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt dawned on me, one day, that one of the people I go to church with pretty regularly\u2014person I sit next to every Sunday in church\u2014that the \u201cone anothers\u201d of the New Testament apply to how I\u2019m supposed to treat my wife \/ how she is supposed to treat me, and that I have\u2014in fact, that\u2019s the first place I should be fulfilling those \u201cone anothers.\u201d She\u2019s the first priority for that, beyond anybody else in the local church. I started reading all of the passages about loving your neighbor differently when I started thinking that Mary Ann was my neighbor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Practically speaking, Gary, let\u2019s apply what Bob just illustrated to your marriage. How did God first begin to teach you how you should love Lisa and care for her, as His daughter?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>Well, first, it was accepting that scriptural truth that God, not only calls her His daughter, but in Ephesians 5:1, she\u2019s called a <em>dearly-loved<\/em> child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it\u2019s changed the way I pray about my wife. I would have never gone to my earthly father-in-law and said: \u201cBill, how come your daughter does this?\u201d and \u201cWhy does your daughter\u2014why is she this way?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m talking to someone when I\u2019m talking to God, who has a passionate loving interest with my wife\u2014and spending time with Him\u2014He gives me that heart \/ He renews that heart. And for me\u2014transformed the whole thought of\u2014when Peter, in his first epistle, said, \u201cHusbands, treat your wives with respect\u201d\u2014and then why?\u2014\u201cso that nothing will hinder your prayers.\u201d I always thought that was <em>backward<\/em> because \u201cI have to pray to have a better marriage\u201d; and Peter is telling me, \u201cNo, Gary\u2014actually, you have to have a better marriage so that you can pray.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I understood God, as my Heavenly Father-in-law, it all made sense because\u2014if there was a man, who was giving me money, complimenting me, telling everybody how wonderful I was, but he was making one of my daughters miserable, every time he came to me and started talking nice, I\u2019d say: \u201cHey, buddy, we have one conversation to have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf you have any reverence for me, you take care of my little girl. I don\u2019t want to talk about anything else. I don\u2019t care about the money. I don\u2019t care about the songs. I don\u2019t care about this. I don\u2019t care about anything you want from me. I am so <em>passionate<\/em> about my daughter\u2014until you are treating her well, we literally have nothing else to talk about.\u201d\u00a0 So, then, I got it\u2014that I am talking to a God, for whom I have great reverence\u2014and that\u2019s the beginning\u2014we go to the end, and we\u2019ll fill in the middle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what I also love about this whole approach of connecting marriage and worship. Everything in the world about romantic love fades. We know infatuation fades. You could look at me and look at me on the day I married\u2014strength fades, hair fades, physical appearance fades [Laughter]. But here is the thing\u2014if I love my wife, out of reverence for God because she is His daughter, she will never stop being God\u2019s daughter. She can be an 85-year-old, arthritic Alzheimer\u2019s patient, who doesn\u2019t even know who I am\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and she\u2019ll be no less God\u2019s daughter then than she is today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when we are seeking a lifelong love, what will preserve a lifelong love?\u00a0 Well, when I connect my marriage to a God\u2014who never wavers in His holiness, who never wavers in His beauty, who never wavers in His love\u2014and if my love with my wife is connected to my reverence for Him, then, I\u2019m going to have a lifelong love, regardless of what happens with her or with our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have had this conversation in the context of God being a Divine Father-in-law to you. It\u2019s just as true that He is Lisa\u2019s Father-in-law; right?\u00a0 Every wife has the same kind of Father-in-law relationship. Is it different for a wife, in terms of viewing her husband as God\u2019s son?\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m trying to see if that applies differently for a wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>Here\u2019s how I use it in a pastoral situation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014a rising, soon-to-be partner in a law firm\u2014and these guys\u2014if you\u2019ve met them, there is this aura about them \/ they have this charisma. Everybody knows they\u2019re going to be a partner\u2014maybe, they\u2019ll run the law firm someday. Rather young, though\u2014still in his 30\u2019s \/ they have younger kids\u2014but there are a lot of paralegals around. It\u2019s a town where a lot of women might be drawn to a guy with that power, that charisma, that wealth, that aura of success. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was frustrated because their sex life had almost completely died. Now, they had three or four kids\u2014I don\u2019t remember how many\u2014but enough to where, yes, it\u2019s going to be an issue. It\u2019s tough when you\u2019ve got babies, and toddlers, and whatnot. So, I asked\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0her\u2014because they were coming in \/ they wanted to put things together\u2014\u201cHow often are you having relations together with physical intimacy?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cWell, maybe, once a month, if we are honest.\u201d\u00a0 Usually, when a wife tells me that, it\u2019s probably less than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I just said, \u201cNow, your oldest son is\u2014what?\u2014four?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cYes.\u201d I said: \u201cOkay, I want you to picture 30 years from now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s say he follows his dad into the law firm\u2014he\u2019s his rising star. A lot of temptations are around his world. He\u2019s got younger women that are likely to throw themselves at him. He lives in a somewhat pornographic world. He wants to be a good man\u2014even more, his Heavenly Father wants him to be a man of integrity. He wants him to be a man who cares for his wife and creates a stable home for his kids, and he\u2019s fighting the sexual temptation. He\u2019s fighting what younger men face, with a wife who will only be intimate with him, maybe, ten times a year.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cHow would you feel about your future daughter-in-law if your son came to you and just poured out his heart, \u2018This is what I\u2019m dealing with\u2019?\u201d\u00a0 She was silent for a minute. She said, \u201cWell, I wouldn\u2019t be happy with her.\u201d\u00a0 Just by looking at it through the paternal eyes, she saw her husband in a new light: \u201cMy man isn\u2019t just a husband\u2014he\u2019s a son.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve encourage wives to say, \u201cHow would I view my daughter-in-law if she was treating my son like I\u2019m treating my husband?\u201d\u00a0 It just changes the way we look at our marriage because we have that passion for our sons and our daughters that we sometimes lose for husbands and wives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And let\u2019s be clear\u2014the illustration you use of how a wife might do that is one of <em>many <\/em>illustrations. You\u2019re not saying here that a wife\u2019s primary duty is the sexual satisfaction of her husband\u2014as long as she is taking care of that, then, she\u2019s doing what God wants her to do\u2014but that is a pretty critical and important area in their marriage\u2014just one of many; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>Yes, thank you for saying that. It\u2019s one of a hundred different issues in marriage. The main thing is just to give people a different perspective. We\u2019re not married to orphans. We\u2019re not married to strangers who have no family connections. We\u2019re, in fact, married to someone\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI look at it this way\u2014I owe my very existence to the God who created me. Not only did God create me a person, He allowed me to marry someone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s given me children. He forgives me every day. He called me to Himself. He didn\u2019t save me because there was some goodness: \u201cWell, Gary is better than most. So, I\u2019m going to choose him.\u201d\u00a0 He chose me in my rebellion \/ in my sin. He gave me the grace to respond. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI could never begin to repay Him; and I burn grace every hour, like jet fuel. I just\u2014and this God, who has loved and does love me still so well, says: \u201cGary, in response to this, here is this woman that I have a particular affection for\u2014she\u2019s my daughter. I created her. I\u2019ve been with her every moment she grew up. Would you love her for Me?\u00a0 Would you take care of her?\u00a0 Would you help her become the woman I created her to be?\u00a0 Will you love her, and adore her, and make her feel safe and honored?\u201d\u00a0 I just can\u2019t believe\u2014looking at my marriage in that light \/ from the perspective of worship\u2014that I could say, \u201cLord, I\u2019ve got <em>better<\/em> things to do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019ve got other things to tend to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just focuses me in on how much my wife is loved \/ how much indebted I am. So, I think worship has changed my marriage as much as any practice I\u2019ve ever heard of. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>When you pull back to the big picture, and you look at the New Testament, it\u2019s really clear what a man\u2019s assignment is\u2014it\u2019s very clear. He\u2019s got to give up his life, deny himself, and love his wife for a lifetime. That means you\u2019ve got to discover what her needs are today \/ what her needs are next week. You\u2019ve got to sacrificially act to meet those needs; and as you have so well put here today, view her as something other than just a friend\/a partner\u2014but no, someone created in the image of God that he\u2019s to care for in the utmost way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, for wives, their assignment is in the same passage, where Paul instructs husbands to love their wives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe tells wives to respect their husbands\u2014that means looking at your husband and saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to entrust my life to you.\u201d\u00a0 That feels very dangerous. Well, you know what?\u00a0 It is dangerous for a man to deny himself to love his wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the dance that God has called us to in marriage\u2014yet, it\u2019s a powerful dance. It\u2019s one that was created by God for us to, not endure, but enjoy. It is part of what I love about what you\u2019ve written in the book because you equip us to better understand what God had in mind when He made us male and female and, then, He called us to be committed for a lifetime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, this is a paradigm-shift book. This is a book where our perspective changes. We start to see marriage, not just from a human perspective, but we start to see it from God\u2019s perspective. That reshapes everything about how we live together, as husbands and wives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope our listeners will catch that as they get a copy and read Gary Thomas\u2019s new book, <em>A Lifelong Love: What If Marriage Is about More Than Just Staying Together?<\/em>\u00a0 And it is, by the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got Gary\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find information about Gary\u2019s book available. You can order it from us, online, if you\u2019d like. Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d There\u2019s, not only information there about Gary\u2019s book, <em>A Lifelong Love<\/em>, but, also, Gary\u2019s book, <em>Sacred Marriage<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, there\u2019s information about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> video series that we\u2019ve produced, here at FamilyLife, as well, because our goal with that video series is to help couples have the same kind of paradigm shift that Gary describes in his book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, more information about Gary\u2019s book and other resources we have available at FamilyLifeToday.com when you click the button that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order, online; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to place an order\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think back to the very beginning of FamilyLife, back in the late 1970\u2019s, when we first started hosting our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. One of the things that you said, Dennis, was you wanted to make sure that couples, who came to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014that they went home, not just with tips on how to have a better marriage, but understanding how central a relationship with Jesus Christ is to everything we do in our marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s been at the core of everything that FamilyLife is all about. Our goal is to see every home become a godly home\u2014to provide practical biblical help for your marriage and your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really to see marriages and families become more God-centered than self-centered or human-centered. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>And we appreciate those of you who hear us talk about these things\u2014and you say: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 This is important. This is important for my marriage \/ for my family. It\u2019s important for our community. I think other people need to hear this as regularly as I do.\u201d\u00a0 And we\u2019re grateful for your financial support that makes all of this possible. We are donor-supported. More than 65 percent of what it costs us to operate this ministry is covered by donations. In a very real sense, if it wasn\u2019t for your financial support, we could not continue all that we do, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. So, we\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If you\u2019d like to make a donation in support of the ministry, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper right-hand corner that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d\u00a0 You can make an online donation that way. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone. Or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk more about how marriage changes when we develop an eternal focus and we start to see that God is, in fact, our Father-in-law in our marriage relationship\u2014and we want to please Him\u2014not just please our spouse. Gary Thomas will be back again tomorrow. Hope you can be here as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.12M"],"filesize_raw":["24246801"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303451.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303451.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Thomas explores God's purpose for marriage and explains how the best marriages are those steeped in worship.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you love God and you begin to realize that your husband or your wife is God\u2019s daughter \/ God\u2019s son, that makes God your Heavenly Father-in-law. Author and speaker, Gary Thomas, says, \u201cWhen you start to realize how all of this fits together, that changes the way you love your spouse, no matter what stage your marriage is in.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>Everything in the world about romantic love fades\u2014but here is the thing\u2014she will never stop being God\u2019s daughter. She can be an 85-year-old, arthritic Alzheimer\u2019s patient, who doesn\u2019t even know who I am\u2014and she\u2019ll be no less God\u2019s daughter then than she is today. So, when my love for my wife is connected to my reverence for Him, then, I\u2019m going to have a lifelong love, regardless of what happens with her or with our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, April 6<sup>th<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to explore today how our reverence for God has an impact on how we love one another in marriage. Our guest is Gary Thomas. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I have to think anybody, who has listened to us for any length of time, knows that we believe marriage is designed by God to go the distance. It\u2019s not just something you try on for a while and, then, if it\u2019s not working out, you try something different; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In fact, we get emails, letters, and phone calls. I run into people, all over the country\u2014I ran into a person yesterday who said: \u201cThank you that you guys continually put the\u2014well\u2014the lifelong commitment in front of folks. You\u2019ve given me the courage to keep mine\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cduring some very difficult times in our marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and what we try to stress to folks is that the commitment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the covenant we\u2019ve made to one another is\u2014not simply: \u201cI will endure a lifelong relationship with you, no matter how bad it gets.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s really a whole lot more than that. I mean, I promised more than just, \u201cI\u2019ll stick this out when things get bad,\u201d\u2014I promised to love, and honor, and cherish, and all of those other good things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right; and our guest on the broadcast today, Gary Thomas\u2014I\u2019ll go ahead and introduce, Gary. Gary\u2014welcome back to the broadcast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>It feels like home to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I was getting ready to say, \u201cGary is such a kindred spirit.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> begins with a really noble high calling and the purpose that God created for marriage as its North Star. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think one of the successes of the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> has been that we haven\u2019t allowed the culture to define marriage for us. We\u2019ve gone back to the Bible, and we\u2019ve allowed the Scriptures to speak, which is what Gary does in his writing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, for those of you who don\u2019t know Gary\u2014and I know there is probably one or two\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think\u2014I think I counted\u2014there are seven. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There are seven people\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014in the country who don\u2019t know Gary. Gary\u2019s books have been translated into more than a dozen languages, [he] has won a number of awards and really is a great thinker in marriage, and family, and spiritual formation. He and his wife live in Houston, Texas. They have three children. He is writer-in-residence of Second Baptist Church, and he\u2019s just completed a book called <em>A Lifelong Love<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you begin this book talking about how an eternal perspective of marriage is bedrock\u2014it\u2019s essential. You\u2019ve got to have it if you\u2019re going to be successful in building a lifelong love, like you\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>I\u2019m a huge fan of marriage, but God didn\u2019t create any of us to be satisfied in our marriage. That is setting the bar far too low. He created us so that we find our greatest meaning and purpose in a life of worship, and service, and sharing fellowship\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or what we would call love. And so, we have to understand that, even when we talk about something like marriage, we have to place it in that wider context. I use the phrase, \u201ca magnificent obsession\u201d to get people to lift their heights so that\u2014I believe it gives purpose to our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the reality\u2014the human condition is such that none of us are so incredible that we keep somebody <em>fascinated<\/em> for five or six decades. We\u2019re just not\u2014that\u2019s the human condition. Five or six dates\u2014no problem. Five or six years starts to be more of a challenge. But when we connect our marriage to things that grow\u2014like worship\u2014for me, one of the most transforming aspects of marriage is when I really began to connect my marriage with my life of worship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe brilliant thing about worship\u2014it\u2019s not just a religious concept\u2014the more you worship God, the more you <em>want<\/em> to worship God because that\u2019s what God created you to do. The more you get to see how beautiful He is, the more you want to spend time in His presence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when my marriage is based on worship\u2014and worship is something that grows\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014then, everything else that the world tends to base marriage on\u2014personal appearance, present level of happiness, and satisfaction, and comfort\u2014not taking into account the fact that we get sick, or that we can get disappointed, or have disappointments\u2014all of those things tear marriage down. When marriage is based on worship, and relating to God, and an eternal perspective\u2014those things become more important as you age, not less. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, you\u2019re going to have to help me out, though, because I was following\u2014marriage should have an eternal purpose and we should see it in light of eternity\u2014and then, you talk about marriage being connected to worship. I think a lot of listeners are saying: \u201cWhat does that <em>look like<\/em> for marriage to be connected to worship?\u00a0 I mean, how does that happen on a daily basis in my home?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, give us a working definition of worship because I think that\u2019s where a lot of folks miss it, Gary. They don\u2019t really understand what it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>For me, it came out of a bad episode in my marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was not being a very good husband. God was convicting me in prayer, and He applied 1 John 3:1\u2014which I\u2019d always applied to myself\u2014\u201cBehold what manner of love the Father has given us that we should be called children of God.\u201d\u00a0 I claimed that, as a single man: \u201cI\u2019m God\u2019s son. He loves me as a son. That\u2019s a relationship that can never break.\u201d\u00a0 But God was now challenging me to apply it to my wife. He said: \u201cGary, Lisa isn\u2019t just your wife. She\u2019s My daughter, and I expect you to treat her accordingly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I had kids, I got it! The best way to get on my good side is to be good to one of my kids. If you want to get on my bad side, be mean to one of my kids. I\u2019d rather you mess with me than one of my children. When I began to see that God looked at my wife, His daughter, just as I look at my kids, everything about my marriage changed. I realized one of the best forms of worship I could have is to love God\u2019s little girl. It\u2019s scary to me\u2014at this stage in my life with two daughters of marriageable age\u2014how <em>desperately<\/em> I want them to be loved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>And there are two men that could make me among the happiest men on earth\u2014not by ever doing anything for me, not by complimenting me, not by giving me anything. If I watch them love my daughters well, they will be two of my favorite people on this planet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, I began looking at God, not just as my Heavenly Father, but my Heavenly Father-in-law. That changed everything about my marriage. It changed the way I pray about my wife. If somebody is complaining about my kids, I would be saying: \u201cWell, I know, but have you seen this?\u00a0 Or have you seen that?\u201d\u00a0 I <em>know<\/em> my kids have faults, and I know what those faults are; but that doesn\u2019t change the fact that I am passionate about seeing them loved and supported rather than torn down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A part of what convicted you about the need to treat your wife as God\u2019s daughter was a statement made by your father-in-law at the rehearsal dinner\u2014is that right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>It was; it was. I had a wonderful earthly father-in-law. He wasn\u2019t a particularly emotional man, but he broke down in tears at our wedding rehearsal\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014in a good way \/ not a bad way. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe battled cancer, near the end of his life, for seven years. Cancer is one of those things\u2014you just learn to hate cancer because you see how it tears apart families\u2014it takes kids \/ it takes parents. But the one thing cancer can give you is a time to say goodbye\u2014a time to go back and tell people what\u2019s what. We had one of those conversations. He explained what happened\u2014he said: \u201cGary, on the night before you married Lisa, I just thought to myself: \u2018I don\u2019t have to worry about Lisa. She\u2019s going to be okay.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And that just overwhelmingly\u2014he just felt like: \u201cOkay, something\u2019s really done. My little girl is going to be fine. She has found a good man, who is going to stand by her.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talk to so many people, who have legitimate frustrations in their marriage\u2014a woman, who married a man, thinking of long soulful discussions, late into the night, and then realized, six months after the marriage, that she married a man who wouldn\u2019t know an emotion if it bit him on the nose until he bled. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA man who married a woman\u2014maybe for a lot of selfish reasons, not realizing that she had an attitude that he missed because he was infatuated\u2014or that she would have a serious bout with breast cancer and, perhaps later, with Alzheimer\u2019s. They might want to say, \u201cI didn\u2019t sign up for this.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI go back to those tears, at my wedding rehearsal\u2014and I think of God, as my Heavenly Father-in-law\u2014saying: \u201cI know you might not have thought stood up for this. But if you could have seen Me on that day, talking with the angels: \u2018My daughter has found a good man. He will support her. He will stand behind her. This is a day to rejoice,\u2019 or \u2018My son has found a good woman. She will lift him up to be more than he could have been on his own. She\u2019ll affirm him. She\u2019ll strengthen him. She\u2019ll nurture him to the place where he can be the man I created him to be. Let\u2019s rejoice. Let\u2019s have a party. I\u2019m crying tears of joy because My son has found a good woman to love him.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur marriages are about far more than our own happiness. Our marriages are about <em>God\u2019s<\/em> happiness, and I want to bring great joy to heaven. That\u2019s what could be so overwhelming to listen. We feel so insignificant in this world; and yet, each person listening to us could bring great joy to our Heavenly Father by loving one of His sons or daughters supremely well today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, the epiphany that you experienced\u2014when you talk about realizing that your wife, Lisa, is God\u2019s daughter \/ not just your wife\u2014I remember reading passages in the New Testament that would describe how we are to treat one another in the body of Christ. You\u2019re to love one another, honor one another, greet one another with a holy kiss\u2014all of these, I think, 50-plus \u201cone another\u201d statements in the epistles are about how we\u2019re to deal with one another. I had always applied that to: \u201cThis is how I should act with people, who I go to church with\u2014I should encourage them, and I should affirm them, I should rebuke them if necessary\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014all of these things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt dawned on me, one day, that one of the people I go to church with pretty regularly\u2014person I sit next to every Sunday in church\u2014that the \u201cone anothers\u201d of the New Testament apply to how I\u2019m supposed to treat my wife \/ how she is supposed to treat me, and that I have\u2014in fact, that\u2019s the first place I should be fulfilling those \u201cone anothers.\u201d She\u2019s the first priority for that, beyond anybody else in the local church. I started reading all of the passages about loving your neighbor differently when I started thinking that Mary Ann was my neighbor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Practically speaking, Gary, let\u2019s apply what Bob just illustrated to your marriage. How did God first begin to teach you how you should love Lisa and care for her, as His daughter?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>Well, first, it was accepting that scriptural truth that God, not only calls her His daughter, but in Ephesians 5:1, she\u2019s called a <em>dearly-loved<\/em> child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it\u2019s changed the way I pray about my wife. I would have never gone to my earthly father-in-law and said: \u201cBill, how come your daughter does this?\u201d and \u201cWhy does your daughter\u2014why is she this way?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m talking to someone when I\u2019m talking to God, who has a passionate loving interest with my wife\u2014and spending time with Him\u2014He gives me that heart \/ He renews that heart. And for me\u2014transformed the whole thought of\u2014when Peter, in his first epistle, said, \u201cHusbands, treat your wives with respect\u201d\u2014and then why?\u2014\u201cso that nothing will hinder your prayers.\u201d I always thought that was <em>backward<\/em> because \u201cI have to pray to have a better marriage\u201d; and Peter is telling me, \u201cNo, Gary\u2014actually, you have to have a better marriage so that you can pray.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I understood God, as my Heavenly Father-in-law, it all made sense because\u2014if there was a man, who was giving me money, complimenting me, telling everybody how wonderful I was, but he was making one of my daughters miserable, every time he came to me and started talking nice, I\u2019d say: \u201cHey, buddy, we have one conversation to have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf you have any reverence for me, you take care of my little girl. I don\u2019t want to talk about anything else. I don\u2019t care about the money. I don\u2019t care about the songs. I don\u2019t care about this. I don\u2019t care about anything you want from me. I am so <em>passionate<\/em> about my daughter\u2014until you are treating her well, we literally have nothing else to talk about.\u201d\u00a0 So, then, I got it\u2014that I am talking to a God, for whom I have great reverence\u2014and that\u2019s the beginning\u2014we go to the end, and we\u2019ll fill in the middle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what I also love about this whole approach of connecting marriage and worship. Everything in the world about romantic love fades. We know infatuation fades. You could look at me and look at me on the day I married\u2014strength fades, hair fades, physical appearance fades [Laughter]. But here is the thing\u2014if I love my wife, out of reverence for God because she is His daughter, she will never stop being God\u2019s daughter. She can be an 85-year-old, arthritic Alzheimer\u2019s patient, who doesn\u2019t even know who I am\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and she\u2019ll be no less God\u2019s daughter then than she is today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when we are seeking a lifelong love, what will preserve a lifelong love?\u00a0 Well, when I connect my marriage to a God\u2014who never wavers in His holiness, who never wavers in His beauty, who never wavers in His love\u2014and if my love with my wife is connected to my reverence for Him, then, I\u2019m going to have a lifelong love, regardless of what happens with her or with our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have had this conversation in the context of God being a Divine Father-in-law to you. It\u2019s just as true that He is Lisa\u2019s Father-in-law; right?\u00a0 Every wife has the same kind of Father-in-law relationship. Is it different for a wife, in terms of viewing her husband as God\u2019s son?\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m trying to see if that applies differently for a wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>Here\u2019s how I use it in a pastoral situation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014a rising, soon-to-be partner in a law firm\u2014and these guys\u2014if you\u2019ve met them, there is this aura about them \/ they have this charisma. Everybody knows they\u2019re going to be a partner\u2014maybe, they\u2019ll run the law firm someday. Rather young, though\u2014still in his 30\u2019s \/ they have younger kids\u2014but there are a lot of paralegals around. It\u2019s a town where a lot of women might be drawn to a guy with that power, that charisma, that wealth, that aura of success. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was frustrated because their sex life had almost completely died. Now, they had three or four kids\u2014I don\u2019t remember how many\u2014but enough to where, yes, it\u2019s going to be an issue. It\u2019s tough when you\u2019ve got babies, and toddlers, and whatnot. So, I asked\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0her\u2014because they were coming in \/ they wanted to put things together\u2014\u201cHow often are you having relations together with physical intimacy?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cWell, maybe, once a month, if we are honest.\u201d\u00a0 Usually, when a wife tells me that, it\u2019s probably less than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I just said, \u201cNow, your oldest son is\u2014what?\u2014four?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cYes.\u201d I said: \u201cOkay, I want you to picture 30 years from now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s say he follows his dad into the law firm\u2014he\u2019s his rising star. A lot of temptations are around his world. He\u2019s got younger women that are likely to throw themselves at him. He lives in a somewhat pornographic world. He wants to be a good man\u2014even more, his Heavenly Father wants him to be a man of integrity. He wants him to be a man who cares for his wife and creates a stable home for his kids, and he\u2019s fighting the sexual temptation. He\u2019s fighting what younger men face, with a wife who will only be intimate with him, maybe, ten times a year.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cHow would you feel about your future daughter-in-law if your son came to you and just poured out his heart, \u2018This is what I\u2019m dealing with\u2019?\u201d\u00a0 She was silent for a minute. She said, \u201cWell, I wouldn\u2019t be happy with her.\u201d\u00a0 Just by looking at it through the paternal eyes, she saw her husband in a new light: \u201cMy man isn\u2019t just a husband\u2014he\u2019s a son.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve encourage wives to say, \u201cHow would I view my daughter-in-law if she was treating my son like I\u2019m treating my husband?\u201d\u00a0 It just changes the way we look at our marriage because we have that passion for our sons and our daughters that we sometimes lose for husbands and wives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And let\u2019s be clear\u2014the illustration you use of how a wife might do that is one of <em>many <\/em>illustrations. You\u2019re not saying here that a wife\u2019s primary duty is the sexual satisfaction of her husband\u2014as long as she is taking care of that, then, she\u2019s doing what God wants her to do\u2014but that is a pretty critical and important area in their marriage\u2014just one of many; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>Yes, thank you for saying that. It\u2019s one of a hundred different issues in marriage. The main thing is just to give people a different perspective. We\u2019re not married to orphans. We\u2019re not married to strangers who have no family connections. We\u2019re, in fact, married to someone\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI look at it this way\u2014I owe my very existence to the God who created me. Not only did God create me a person, He allowed me to marry someone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s given me children. He forgives me every day. He called me to Himself. He didn\u2019t save me because there was some goodness: \u201cWell, Gary is better than most. So, I\u2019m going to choose him.\u201d\u00a0 He chose me in my rebellion \/ in my sin. He gave me the grace to respond. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI could never begin to repay Him; and I burn grace every hour, like jet fuel. I just\u2014and this God, who has loved and does love me still so well, says: \u201cGary, in response to this, here is this woman that I have a particular affection for\u2014she\u2019s my daughter. I created her. I\u2019ve been with her every moment she grew up. Would you love her for Me?\u00a0 Would you take care of her?\u00a0 Would you help her become the woman I created her to be?\u00a0 Will you love her, and adore her, and make her feel safe and honored?\u201d\u00a0 I just can\u2019t believe\u2014looking at my marriage in that light \/ from the perspective of worship\u2014that I could say, \u201cLord, I\u2019ve got <em>better<\/em> things to do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019ve got other things to tend to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just focuses me in on how much my wife is loved \/ how much indebted I am. So, I think worship has changed my marriage as much as any practice I\u2019ve ever heard of. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>When you pull back to the big picture, and you look at the New Testament, it\u2019s really clear what a man\u2019s assignment is\u2014it\u2019s very clear. He\u2019s got to give up his life, deny himself, and love his wife for a lifetime. That means you\u2019ve got to discover what her needs are today \/ what her needs are next week. You\u2019ve got to sacrificially act to meet those needs; and as you have so well put here today, view her as something other than just a friend\/a partner\u2014but no, someone created in the image of God that he\u2019s to care for in the utmost way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, for wives, their assignment is in the same passage, where Paul instructs husbands to love their wives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe tells wives to respect their husbands\u2014that means looking at your husband and saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to entrust my life to you.\u201d\u00a0 That feels very dangerous. Well, you know what?\u00a0 It is dangerous for a man to deny himself to love his wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the dance that God has called us to in marriage\u2014yet, it\u2019s a powerful dance. It\u2019s one that was created by God for us to, not endure, but enjoy. It is part of what I love about what you\u2019ve written in the book because you equip us to better understand what God had in mind when He made us male and female and, then, He called us to be committed for a lifetime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, this is a paradigm-shift book. This is a book where our perspective changes. We start to see marriage, not just from a human perspective, but we start to see it from God\u2019s perspective. That reshapes everything about how we live together, as husbands and wives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope our listeners will catch that as they get a copy and read Gary Thomas\u2019s new book, <em>A Lifelong Love: What If Marriage Is about More Than Just Staying Together?<\/em>\u00a0 And it is, by the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got Gary\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find information about Gary\u2019s book available. You can order it from us, online, if you\u2019d like. Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d There\u2019s, not only information there about Gary\u2019s book, <em>A Lifelong Love<\/em>, but, also, Gary\u2019s book, <em>Sacred Marriage<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, there\u2019s information about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> video series that we\u2019ve produced, here at FamilyLife, as well, because our goal with that video series is to help couples have the same kind of paradigm shift that Gary describes in his book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, more information about Gary\u2019s book and other resources we have available at FamilyLifeToday.com when you click the button that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order, online; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to place an order\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think back to the very beginning of FamilyLife, back in the late 1970\u2019s, when we first started hosting our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. One of the things that you said, Dennis, was you wanted to make sure that couples, who came to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014that they went home, not just with tips on how to have a better marriage, but understanding how central a relationship with Jesus Christ is to everything we do in our marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s been at the core of everything that FamilyLife is all about. Our goal is to see every home become a godly home\u2014to provide practical biblical help for your marriage and your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really to see marriages and families become more God-centered than self-centered or human-centered. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>And we appreciate those of you who hear us talk about these things\u2014and you say: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 This is important. This is important for my marriage \/ for my family. It\u2019s important for our community. I think other people need to hear this as regularly as I do.\u201d\u00a0 And we\u2019re grateful for your financial support that makes all of this possible. We are donor-supported. More than 65 percent of what it costs us to operate this ministry is covered by donations. In a very real sense, if it wasn\u2019t for your financial support, we could not continue all that we do, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. So, we\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If you\u2019d like to make a donation in support of the ministry, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper right-hand corner that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d\u00a0 You can make an online donation that way. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone. Or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk more about how marriage changes when we develop an eternal focus and we start to see that God is, in fact, our Father-in-law in our marriage relationship\u2014and we want to please Him\u2014not just please our spouse. Gary Thomas will be back again tomorrow. Hope you can be here as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303451","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303451"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303451"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303451"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303451"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}