{"id":303447,"date":"2015-04-02T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-04-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/breaking-free-from-busyness\/"},"modified":"2015-04-02T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-04-02T15:00:00","slug":"breaking-free-from-busyness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/breaking-free-from-busyness\/","title":{"rendered":"Breaking Free From Busyness"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Recovering too-busy mom Joanne Kraft recalls the day when she and her husband decided their family was going to take a year off from all extracurricular activities to spend more time together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-02.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.94M","filesize_raw":"24056302","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10361,2853],"tags":[4008,4012,4011,4007,4009,4010,4006,2209,2207,4005,4013,4014,2607,4015],"podcast_series":[7157],"cwp_profile":[3209],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303447","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-busyness-and-stress","category-frazzled-family","tag-anxiety","tag-anxiety-attacks","tag-anxiety-symptoms","tag-busyness","tag-depression","tag-depression-symptoms","tag-parental-guidance","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-styles","tag-parents","tag-rest","tag-resting","tag-stress","tag-what-is-rest","podcast_series-just-too-busy","cwp_profile-joanne-kraft","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303447\/breaking-free-from-busyness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303447\/breaking-free-from-busyness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"UPZTFHP6Of\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/breaking-free-from-busyness\/\">Breaking Free From Busyness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/breaking-free-from-busyness\/embed\/#?secret=UPZTFHP6Of\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Breaking Free From Busyness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"UPZTFHP6Of\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-02.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-02.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014in the center of the table. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014all the stuff that fell off onto the floor, and grind up all the goods, and dump it out!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we did timeouts, occasionally, as well. There were times you needed just to take a break, but I don\u2019t know that we ever got as fully into it as our guest today did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think Joanne Kraft has moved the concept of timeout to a whole new level.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Whole new level, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Joanne, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Thank you so much for having me. It\u2019s an honor to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Joanne is a self-confessed recovering too-busy mom of four, along with a slightly overweight beagle. [Laughter] She and her husband Paul live in Nashville, Tennessee, now. She has written a book called <em>Just Too Busy<\/em>; but listen to the subtitle: <em>Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical<\/em>. So, the timeout you\u2019re talking about is an extended timeout.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And the idea for this takes you back to New Year\u2019s Eve. Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, actually, it goes back a few months before that. Like every good parent\u2014we love our children passionately. I have four children. They were involved in some activities like dancing, and soccer, and baseball\u2014whatever the season was. I realized when I was backing my car out of the garage for what felt like the 50<sup>th<\/sup> time that day, I thought, \u201cBoy, are my neighbors watching this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it was New Year\u2019s Eve; and I was at my girlfriend\u2019s house. We\u2019d been invited over to our friend\u2019s house; and they had four kids, too. I thought, \u201cWell heck, yeah, I\u2019ll go mess up your house. That works for me.\u201d [Laughter] We went over; and the kids ran off together to play, and our husbands went and watched a basketball game, and my girlfriend and I started playing a game that I call \u201cBusy Mom Poker\u201d. What that is\u2014is we start sharing all that we\u2019re doing, and we start one-upping each other. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI can trump you on that;\u201d yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> I won, by the way. [Laughter]\u00a0 She said, offhandedly\u2014she said, \u201cWhat if we took a year off this year and did nothing?\u201d I said, \u201cWhat if we did take a year off and did nothing?\u201d About that time, our husbands came into the room. As wives do sometimes, we sabotaged ours with some questions. My girlfriend, Kim, said to her husband, \u201cHey, what if we took a year off and did nothing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cThe kids are involved in this and that. I just don\u2019t think that\u2019s a good idea.\u201d I told my husband, \u201cHey, what do you think about us taking a year off?\u201d I said, \u201cI feel kind of like a third-world taxi driver; you know?\u201d My husband said, \u201cWhen do we start?\u201d I thought, \u201cUh-oh.\u201d My girlfriend looked at me like, \u201cHere we go. You opened your mouth.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay, we start tomorrow. It\u2019s New Year\u2019s Day.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did your girlfriend also take a year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> No, she did not. She watched me take a year. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, without talking with the kids, without any forethought, really, on your part, it was just, \u201cLet\u2019s dive into the deep end of the pool and see if we can swim.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s exactly what it was. Well, as we drove home that night, I kind of prayed that unprayer, where you kind of pray that everybody forgot what you just said. [Laughter] The next morning, when we got up\u2014New Year\u2019s Day, in our home, as a family\u2014it\u2019s a little more special. We try and make it a little more special. We have a family devotion, and we really kind of talk about our goals for the year. We have a big breakfast. That\u2019s when we sprung it on the kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, you have to give us a definition of \u201cnothing\u201d because doing nothing could mean all kinds of things to moms who are listening in right now. How would you define that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, how we defined it was\u2014my husband and I discussed this. How we defined it was, \u201cAnything that I had to drive my kids to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> \u2014we didn\u2019t do;\u201d right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, anything around the home\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now wait. Did they go to school?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> [Laughter] They did go to school, but we were close enough they could walk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> But anything\u2014really, any outside activity that would take Mom out of the home\/the kids out of the home\u2014we decided to take a break from.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, school-related extracurricular activities were okay or not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, these were the rules we made in our home. Grace was in choir at school, and her practices were after school. We allowed that to stay because I didn\u2019t have to drive her there, and she had friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> But anything that drew me away\u2014anything that took Mom and the kids out of the house\u2014three times a week, or whatever it was\u2014we decided to take a 12-month timeout.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So when you sat down on New Year\u2019s Day and said, \u201cHey kids! We came up with a great idea!\u201d Tell me how that went over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, this is where, sometimes, not being a very good follow-through parent worked\u2014the only time, in my favor\u2014because they thought, \u201cOh, Mom\u2019s lost her mind. We don\u2019t believe you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, \u201cShe\u2019ll never do this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I read the letter that hopefully we\u2019ll get a chance to share a little later on from your oldest daughter. She just thought you were going through a phase, \u201cMom\u2019s just going through a phase. She\u2019ll get over it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s exactly true. We weren\u2019t, and we didn\u2019t. We stuck to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why do you think you stuck to it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, you know, I think just understanding that life is short. My mom had passed away a few years before. It really got me to thinking, \u201cWhat are those important things that I want my children\u2014what valuable, eternal things\u2014what is going to last?\u00a0 What mark is my family making together?\u201d I wanted our relationships to grow, and I wasn\u2019t seeing that a lot of the distractions were drawing us closer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love watching my kids in sports. I\u2019m not trying to demonize activities\u2014not at all. I find huge value in kids in sports, in dancing, and that kind of thing. I definitely do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sure. Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> But when it starts to take away from family, when I\u2019m spending more time driving from function to function\u2014and not spending time around that table, at night\u2014well then, something has to change. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was out of the home so much in the evenings\u2014even, for a good thing\u2014good is the enemy of the best, really. When I was out of the home, I was realizing, \u201cOh, this isn\u2019t good. I\u2019m buying fast food. I\u2019m firing cheeseburgers in the back seat instead of having lasagna or having a family meal.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So what was the number one takeaway at the end of the year? Fast forward to New Year\u2019s Eve 12 months later. What was the essence of what your family gained from that year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> We drew closer. Our relationships are deeper. We fight for time together now. We <em>see<\/em> it differently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So the sabbatical is over now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> The sabbatical is over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Will you ever do it again?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> If it ever gets to the point where I think it\u2019s drawing me away from my family, where life is taking me away from my family, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In Chapter Three of your book, you list what were the ten tell-tale signs. Go ahead and open that because I think you ought to read, to our listeners, how you could look and tell them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014if you\u2019re too busy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cThis is how I knew I was too busy\u201d; alright? \u2014kind of a Jeff Foxworthy\u2014[Speaking with Jeff\u2019s accent] \u201cYou might be too busy if...\u201d \u2014that kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> My ten tell-tale signs were: First one\u2014I go down from ten to one. So, number 10 was: \u201cIt was official. I was a marathon runner<em>.<\/em>\u201d I don\u2019t run. [Laughter] Unless a bear is chasing me, I don\u2019t run. I realized my kids were runners. They were running, right alongside me. I didn\u2019t want that. It started from the morning\u2014I got up, making sandwiches\u2014and some of it is just life\u2014and I understand that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> But I added to that. It became, now, really, like bondage. It was bondage of busyness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was no <em>Selah<\/em> in your day\u2014no rest\u2014no moment to just gather your thoughts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think it can be an addiction. You\u2019re kind of referring to it as that. It can be an activity addiction that people get\u2014where it\u2019s easy to be busy and not have to deal with the relationships and go deeper with your children, with your spouse, and as a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. I read an article from\u2014it was, actually, an addiction specialist. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI put the quote in the book because I was floored when he said that, \u201cStress is a reward to the brain.\u201d Busyness is stressful; stress is a part of busyness\u2014it really is, and that\u2019s addictive. I thought, \u201cWow! Well, am I addicted to this chaos\u2014am I\u2014is that\u2014 because am I finding my value there, as a mom?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe speak in the language of busy. I realize\u2014when I go to the grocery store, and I see women\u2014they come up to me and we start talking\u2014girlfriends\u2014and immediately we start talking about how busy we are. It has become a universal epidemic, and we don\u2019t even realize it because we start sharing what we\u2019re doing, doing, doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So you recognized, first of all, that you were, you said, a marathon runner. You were on the go from the time you got up until the time you went to bed, every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> It felt like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What else?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Number nine, I have: \u201cMykids thought all meals came with a side of fries.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Because the more you\u2019re away from home\u2014it\u2019s just the nature of how it is. You don\u2019t have time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In the drive-through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> In the drive-through. You are there. It was easier for me to speak into a clown\u2019s head and get a bag of food. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Family dinner wasn\u2019t happening at your house. Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne: <\/strong>It was not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number eight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Number eight would be: \u201cMy minivan was running on fumes.\u201d I was tired. I was really tired. I mean, it\u2019s tiring enough to raise a family. Any good parent is tired, but I was really tired. When you start to go, \u201cWell, I\u2019m so tired I don\u2019t even want to get up the next morning,\u201d \u2014when you start to dread those days\u2014or when I start to look at my calendar and say, \u201cI\u2019m wishing away time.\u201d I\u2019m looking at the calendar and going, \u201cHey, Sweetie,\u201d \u2014I\u2019m telling my husband, \u201cIf we can just get through next Thursday. If we can just get through....\u201d That\u2019s not how we should live. God gave us that eternal\u2014time is His gift to us, and I didn\u2019t want to waste it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay, that\u2019s number eight. Number seven?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> \u2014would be: \u201cSomething unspeakable was growing in my shower.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There were some basic tasks around the house that weren\u2019t getting attended to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Not at all! No, unfortunately. House chores were definitely falling to the wayside. If mine were falling to the wayside, the kids weren\u2019t getting theirs done. It wasn\u2019t a sweet sanctuary spot for my husband to come home to. It wasn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, we get that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Number six would be: \u201cBe afraid. Be very afraid because, when Momma was stressed, Momma was not nice all the time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When Momma ain\u2019t happy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014ain\u2019t nobody happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne: <\/strong>\u2014ain\u2019t nobody happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014ain\u2019t nobody happy, in this family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly it. Number five, I have: \u201cChopsticks on our back deck was a romantic night out for us.\u201d What I mean by that was\u2014my daughter, Grace\u2014practicing the saxophone or something\u2014that was like our date night. We weren\u2019t taking time for ourselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, you weren\u2019t talking about Chinese food, out on the back deck. That was sounding okay to me. You were talking about the kids playing piano. You were not getting any husband-time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> No, no, because the kids were\u2014your calendar was so packed. There wasn\u2019t time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> For Barbara and me\u2014a date night on Sunday night. I\u2019m convinced\u2014if we hadn\u2019t had that, once a week\u2014we didn\u2019t hit all four out of four in a month; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut we\u2019d hit four out of five, or three out of four in a month\u2014it was what kept us on the same page\u2014raising our kids, and in our marriage, and staying up-to-date in each other\u2019s lives. It\u2019s easy to allow the kids\u2019 schedules to crowd out those date nights and not pay attention to your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. I think any good man\u2014any good godly man\u2014is not going to say to his wife, \u201cHey, you know what? Don\u2019t take the kids there today,\u201d or, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to take little Johnny here.\u201d Any good, godly man is going to put the kids first. So, now, you have both of them\u2014both the husband and the wife\u2014putting children first. We did the same thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When that happens, the home becomes a child-centered home. That\u2019s not good for anybody.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> No. And number four I have: \u201cParent guilt\u2014my wallet\u2019s worst nightmare.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Uh-huh. Oh, yes. We can all fill in the blank for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Feeling guilty for not doing this, not doing that\u2014so you overdose or indulge them with another activity or going to Chuck E Cheese<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. I felt bad. I felt bad about not having\u2014oh, maybe, I don\u2019t feel good about not having dinner around my table\u2014so, \u201cOkay, sure. I\u2019ll get you this.\u201d I joke in here, when I go to the store, it\u2019s like, \u201cOh, you want a Barbie? Sure.\u201d \u2014\u201cLarge farm animal? Alright, I\u2019ll bring it. Sure.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is how Samuel got the TV in his room now; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Oh, this was a guilt trip! I\u2019ll tell you. Oh, wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, you have to stop and tell us about this. We were together, before we came into the studio, and your older kids were\u2014they were whining!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Here\u2019s a lesson: \u201cDon\u2019t bring your children to a FamilyLife interview.\u201d [Laughter]\u00a0 That\u2019s my biggest tip. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you. This is what happened. I am a huge proponent\u2014you don\u2019t have a TV in your kids\u2019 room, period. You just don\u2019t. What he has there is\u2014he has the ability to play videos on a television that I got from Goodwill. It\u2019s not like he has access to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He\u2019s got a second-class TV. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes. He\u2019s not watching Jimmy Kimmel; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You feel strongly about this because you\u2019ve only pounded the table ten times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, yes. It\u2019s nice to have your kids come share your Mom-guilt, and expose it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Number three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Number three would be: \u201cChaos was my closest friend.\u201d I think that kind of gets tied up with our stress. I had a girlfriend once who called me; and she said, \u201cHey, my husband isn\u2019t coming home a lot at night.\u201d He was a good man. I said, \u201cWhy is he working so much?\u201d I went over to talk to her, at her house. We started talking. I stepped one foot in her house, and the chaos in that home was incredible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was incredible! You could feel it. It was clutter and chaos. We cleaned up the house. We started talking about some things. Once there was less chaos in her home, guess who came home more often? Her husband did. Chaos became my closest friend because you get used to the drama. We all have friends like that. We\u2019re like, \u201cOh, gosh, there\u2019s so much drama!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> You get used to living like that. I didn\u2019t want that. That was another one on my list.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That becomes the norm, so when you don\u2019t have chaos, it\u2019s like, \u201cLet\u2019s create some.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s easy to do that in this culture today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne: <\/strong>And you find value in it because you think, \u201cLook how busy and chaotic my life is<em>. <\/em>Surely, I\u2019m...\u201dPeople get confused, I think. I think parents are confused in thinking this is almost something that is a benefit, and it\u2019s not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I had number two, which was: \u201cHumming <em>Jesus, Take the Wheel<\/em>, on the way to a Girl Scout meeting, counted as my Bible time in the morning.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s creative.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes. That doesn\u2019t count.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All you had time for, right, was a little Carrie Underwood?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s your Quiet Time, huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes, and just for the record\u2014that is not Quiet Time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had to be in a place where there was just some spiritual dryness because of what you weren\u2019t carving out time for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. You make excuses for it because you say, \u201cSurely God gave me these children. He understands.\u201d He does, but you know what? You need that time. You need that oxygen. You need the Word. You need to be in the Word. When your life is like this, you\u2019re not; and then you have these excuses. Women will pat each other on the back and go, \u201cThat\u2019s a good excuse. I understand.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s not a good excuse. I can take it one step further. I was humming, <em>Jesus, Take the Wheel<\/em>. That was mine. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Is number one <em>the <\/em>most important of these ten?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Oh, most definitely. Number one can make me cry because number one was: \u201cI blinked, and my daughter was 17. Our kids grow up. I can\u2019t tell you how tired I was, when my kids were little, of hearing people come up to me and say, \u201cOh, enjoy this. They grow up so fast.\u201d I thought, \u201cOh, put a sock in it, lady!\u00a0 I smell like spit-up.\u201d You know? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when my daughter walked out her bedroom door, with her keys\u2014really? It goes so fast! It goes so fast. That was another reason I thought, \u201cWe\u2019ve got to take this time. We have to. There\u2019s not even an option here. We have to.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. Whether you\u2019re a mom or a dad\u2014we\u2019re following right in this, with you. We raised six. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was over in a blink. It\u2019s like, \u201cReally?\u201d We lived right where you lived. We had a lot going on in our kids\u2019 lives, our lives\u2014our family. A passage of Scripture really was, I think, used by God, in our lives, on a number of occasions to kind of create a schedule alignment and a spiritual wheel alignment at the same time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul wrote in Ephesians, Chapter 5, verse 15\u2014he said, \u201cLook carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, don\u2019t be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.\u201d I think it was Socrates who said, \u201cThe unexamined life is not worth living.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think an unexamined schedule\u2014in a family that\u2019s raising a brood of kids\u2014can easily fall off into the ditch and become a real problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where Mom and Dad, husband and wife, lovers and friends, have to get together on a date and have to say, \u201cEnough, already. How do we bring this chaos under some degree of direction, and control, and boundaries in our lives?\u201d because if you don\u2019t, as parents, the kids will. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your time is just like your money, in one regard; that is, you\u2019re deciding how you\u2019re going to invest it and what the return is going to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you invest your money and your time in what\u2019s valuable. So, your schedule\u2014as you look at your calendar\u2014is a statement of your values. Now, place your bets. Do you want\u2014and I don\u2019t think you have to pit them against each other necessarily\u2014but you can\u2019t sacrifice relationships on the altar of activities, and sports, and achievement, and constantly being on the go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPersonally, I\u2019m a little concerned for this generation of young families that are growing up today because I believe the comparison that they have with one another is forcing them to new levels of performance. If they\u2019re not careful, they\u2019re not just going to run the wheels off on their cars, they\u2019re going to run the wheels off on their family, their marriage, and have a true disaster.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It may not be that everybody, who is listening today, is going to do what you did, Joanne, and call a year-long timeout for the family and cut out all of the extracurriculars. I think the point is\u2014you need to look at what you are spending your time on because time is one of the assets that you have. It\u2019s a limited asset, and you want to make sure that it\u2019s prioritized properly: \u201cWhere is your relationship with God in how you spend your time? Where is your relationship together, as a family, in how you spend your time? What kinds of values are we promoting by the choices we\u2019re making with our time?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it would be helpful for moms to read a copy of your book, <em>Just Too Busy<\/em>\u2014and read about what you guys did, and why you did it, and then do some evaluation\u2014have some conversation together, as a husband and wife, about, \u201cHow we are doing in this area?\u201d\u00a0 We have copies of the book, <em>Just Too Busy<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about how you can get a copy of the book. Again, it\u2019s called <em>Just Too Busy<\/em>. The website is: FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you decide to take a timeout from some of the extracurriculars you have going on, you might want to look at some of the resources we have to promote family time\u2014like the <em>Just Add Family<\/em> resource that Kurt and Olivia Bruner put together for us. It has family nights you can do together to emphasize spiritual truths in your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr look at the collection of devotionals that Barbara Rainey has written to be read aloud, as a family: the devotional on gratitude\u2014the one on truth\u2014there\u2019s one on forgiveness\u2014and one on courage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for information, not only about Joanne\u2019s book, but about these other resources as well. Or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our goal, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, is to try to engage you, each day, in the kinds of conversations that get all of us thinking about our priorities\u2014about what\u2019s most important in our lives, about how we can love and serve one another in our families\u2014but all of that in the broader context of how we can honor and glorify God in all that we do. In fact, our mission statement is: \u201cTo effectively develop godly marriages and families, who change the world, one home at a time.\u201d We\u2019re grateful for those of you who share this burden with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou agree with us that marriage and family relationships are at the center of God\u2019s plan for us, as His creatures; and we need to be as committed to marriage and family as God is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to take a minute and say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who show your support for all that we\u2019re doing, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>,through your financial giving. More than 65 percent of the funds we need to operate this ministry come from folks, like you. You help cover the costs of producing and syndicating this daily radio program as it\u2019s distributed on our network of stations, all around the country, and in other parts of the world as well. And of course, it\u2019s available online and via our mobile apps. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for helping to make all of that possible through your support of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> You can make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click the link in the upper right-hand corner of our home page that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014make your donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019d like to mail in your donation, our mailing address is PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. And we\u2019re grateful, again, for your financial support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear from Joanne Kraft about some of the family field trips that the Kraft family took during their year-long radical sabbatical. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.94M"],"filesize_raw":["24056302"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303447.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303447.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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too-busy mom Joanne Kraft recalls the day when she and her husband decided their family was going to take a year off from all extracurricular activities to spend more time together.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-04-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014in the center of the table. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014all the stuff that fell off onto the floor, and grind up all the goods, and dump it out!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we did timeouts, occasionally, as well. There were times you needed just to take a break, but I don\u2019t know that we ever got as fully into it as our guest today did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think Joanne Kraft has moved the concept of timeout to a whole new level.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Whole new level, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Joanne, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Thank you so much for having me. It\u2019s an honor to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Joanne is a self-confessed recovering too-busy mom of four, along with a slightly overweight beagle. [Laughter] She and her husband Paul live in Nashville, Tennessee, now. She has written a book called <em>Just Too Busy<\/em>; but listen to the subtitle: <em>Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical<\/em>. So, the timeout you\u2019re talking about is an extended timeout.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And the idea for this takes you back to New Year\u2019s Eve. Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, actually, it goes back a few months before that. Like every good parent\u2014we love our children passionately. I have four children. They were involved in some activities like dancing, and soccer, and baseball\u2014whatever the season was. I realized when I was backing my car out of the garage for what felt like the 50<sup>th<\/sup> time that day, I thought, \u201cBoy, are my neighbors watching this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it was New Year\u2019s Eve; and I was at my girlfriend\u2019s house. We\u2019d been invited over to our friend\u2019s house; and they had four kids, too. I thought, \u201cWell heck, yeah, I\u2019ll go mess up your house. That works for me.\u201d [Laughter] We went over; and the kids ran off together to play, and our husbands went and watched a basketball game, and my girlfriend and I started playing a game that I call \u201cBusy Mom Poker\u201d. What that is\u2014is we start sharing all that we\u2019re doing, and we start one-upping each other. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI can trump you on that;\u201d yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> I won, by the way. [Laughter]\u00a0 She said, offhandedly\u2014she said, \u201cWhat if we took a year off this year and did nothing?\u201d I said, \u201cWhat if we did take a year off and did nothing?\u201d About that time, our husbands came into the room. As wives do sometimes, we sabotaged ours with some questions. My girlfriend, Kim, said to her husband, \u201cHey, what if we took a year off and did nothing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cThe kids are involved in this and that. I just don\u2019t think that\u2019s a good idea.\u201d I told my husband, \u201cHey, what do you think about us taking a year off?\u201d I said, \u201cI feel kind of like a third-world taxi driver; you know?\u201d My husband said, \u201cWhen do we start?\u201d I thought, \u201cUh-oh.\u201d My girlfriend looked at me like, \u201cHere we go. You opened your mouth.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay, we start tomorrow. It\u2019s New Year\u2019s Day.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did your girlfriend also take a year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> No, she did not. She watched me take a year. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, without talking with the kids, without any forethought, really, on your part, it was just, \u201cLet\u2019s dive into the deep end of the pool and see if we can swim.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s exactly what it was. Well, as we drove home that night, I kind of prayed that unprayer, where you kind of pray that everybody forgot what you just said. [Laughter] The next morning, when we got up\u2014New Year\u2019s Day, in our home, as a family\u2014it\u2019s a little more special. We try and make it a little more special. We have a family devotion, and we really kind of talk about our goals for the year. We have a big breakfast. That\u2019s when we sprung it on the kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, you have to give us a definition of \u201cnothing\u201d because doing nothing could mean all kinds of things to moms who are listening in right now. How would you define that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, how we defined it was\u2014my husband and I discussed this. How we defined it was, \u201cAnything that I had to drive my kids to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> \u2014we didn\u2019t do;\u201d right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, anything around the home\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now wait. Did they go to school?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> [Laughter] They did go to school, but we were close enough they could walk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> But anything\u2014really, any outside activity that would take Mom out of the home\/the kids out of the home\u2014we decided to take a break from.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, school-related extracurricular activities were okay or not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, these were the rules we made in our home. Grace was in choir at school, and her practices were after school. We allowed that to stay because I didn\u2019t have to drive her there, and she had friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> But anything that drew me away\u2014anything that took Mom and the kids out of the house\u2014three times a week, or whatever it was\u2014we decided to take a 12-month timeout.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So when you sat down on New Year\u2019s Day and said, \u201cHey kids! We came up with a great idea!\u201d Tell me how that went over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, this is where, sometimes, not being a very good follow-through parent worked\u2014the only time, in my favor\u2014because they thought, \u201cOh, Mom\u2019s lost her mind. We don\u2019t believe you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, \u201cShe\u2019ll never do this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I read the letter that hopefully we\u2019ll get a chance to share a little later on from your oldest daughter. She just thought you were going through a phase, \u201cMom\u2019s just going through a phase. She\u2019ll get over it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s exactly true. We weren\u2019t, and we didn\u2019t. We stuck to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why do you think you stuck to it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, you know, I think just understanding that life is short. My mom had passed away a few years before. It really got me to thinking, \u201cWhat are those important things that I want my children\u2014what valuable, eternal things\u2014what is going to last?\u00a0 What mark is my family making together?\u201d I wanted our relationships to grow, and I wasn\u2019t seeing that a lot of the distractions were drawing us closer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love watching my kids in sports. I\u2019m not trying to demonize activities\u2014not at all. I find huge value in kids in sports, in dancing, and that kind of thing. I definitely do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sure. Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> But when it starts to take away from family, when I\u2019m spending more time driving from function to function\u2014and not spending time around that table, at night\u2014well then, something has to change. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was out of the home so much in the evenings\u2014even, for a good thing\u2014good is the enemy of the best, really. When I was out of the home, I was realizing, \u201cOh, this isn\u2019t good. I\u2019m buying fast food. I\u2019m firing cheeseburgers in the back seat instead of having lasagna or having a family meal.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So what was the number one takeaway at the end of the year? Fast forward to New Year\u2019s Eve 12 months later. What was the essence of what your family gained from that year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> We drew closer. Our relationships are deeper. We fight for time together now. We <em>see<\/em> it differently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So the sabbatical is over now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> The sabbatical is over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Will you ever do it again?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> If it ever gets to the point where I think it\u2019s drawing me away from my family, where life is taking me away from my family, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In Chapter Three of your book, you list what were the ten tell-tale signs. Go ahead and open that because I think you ought to read, to our listeners, how you could look and tell them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014if you\u2019re too busy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cThis is how I knew I was too busy\u201d; alright? \u2014kind of a Jeff Foxworthy\u2014[Speaking with Jeff\u2019s accent] \u201cYou might be too busy if...\u201d \u2014that kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> My ten tell-tale signs were: First one\u2014I go down from ten to one. So, number 10 was: \u201cIt was official. I was a marathon runner<em>.<\/em>\u201d I don\u2019t run. [Laughter] Unless a bear is chasing me, I don\u2019t run. I realized my kids were runners. They were running, right alongside me. I didn\u2019t want that. It started from the morning\u2014I got up, making sandwiches\u2014and some of it is just life\u2014and I understand that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> But I added to that. It became, now, really, like bondage. It was bondage of busyness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was no <em>Selah<\/em> in your day\u2014no rest\u2014no moment to just gather your thoughts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think it can be an addiction. You\u2019re kind of referring to it as that. It can be an activity addiction that people get\u2014where it\u2019s easy to be busy and not have to deal with the relationships and go deeper with your children, with your spouse, and as a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. I read an article from\u2014it was, actually, an addiction specialist. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI put the quote in the book because I was floored when he said that, \u201cStress is a reward to the brain.\u201d Busyness is stressful; stress is a part of busyness\u2014it really is, and that\u2019s addictive. I thought, \u201cWow! Well, am I addicted to this chaos\u2014am I\u2014is that\u2014 because am I finding my value there, as a mom?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe speak in the language of busy. I realize\u2014when I go to the grocery store, and I see women\u2014they come up to me and we start talking\u2014girlfriends\u2014and immediately we start talking about how busy we are. It has become a universal epidemic, and we don\u2019t even realize it because we start sharing what we\u2019re doing, doing, doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So you recognized, first of all, that you were, you said, a marathon runner. You were on the go from the time you got up until the time you went to bed, every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> It felt like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What else?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Number nine, I have: \u201cMykids thought all meals came with a side of fries.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Because the more you\u2019re away from home\u2014it\u2019s just the nature of how it is. You don\u2019t have time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In the drive-through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> In the drive-through. You are there. It was easier for me to speak into a clown\u2019s head and get a bag of food. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Family dinner wasn\u2019t happening at your house. Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne: <\/strong>It was not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number eight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Number eight would be: \u201cMy minivan was running on fumes.\u201d I was tired. I was really tired. I mean, it\u2019s tiring enough to raise a family. Any good parent is tired, but I was really tired. When you start to go, \u201cWell, I\u2019m so tired I don\u2019t even want to get up the next morning,\u201d \u2014when you start to dread those days\u2014or when I start to look at my calendar and say, \u201cI\u2019m wishing away time.\u201d I\u2019m looking at the calendar and going, \u201cHey, Sweetie,\u201d \u2014I\u2019m telling my husband, \u201cIf we can just get through next Thursday. If we can just get through....\u201d That\u2019s not how we should live. God gave us that eternal\u2014time is His gift to us, and I didn\u2019t want to waste it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay, that\u2019s number eight. Number seven?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> \u2014would be: \u201cSomething unspeakable was growing in my shower.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There were some basic tasks around the house that weren\u2019t getting attended to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Not at all! No, unfortunately. House chores were definitely falling to the wayside. If mine were falling to the wayside, the kids weren\u2019t getting theirs done. It wasn\u2019t a sweet sanctuary spot for my husband to come home to. It wasn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, we get that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Number six would be: \u201cBe afraid. Be very afraid because, when Momma was stressed, Momma was not nice all the time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When Momma ain\u2019t happy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014ain\u2019t nobody happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne: <\/strong>\u2014ain\u2019t nobody happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014ain\u2019t nobody happy, in this family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly it. Number five, I have: \u201cChopsticks on our back deck was a romantic night out for us.\u201d What I mean by that was\u2014my daughter, Grace\u2014practicing the saxophone or something\u2014that was like our date night. We weren\u2019t taking time for ourselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, you weren\u2019t talking about Chinese food, out on the back deck. That was sounding okay to me. You were talking about the kids playing piano. You were not getting any husband-time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> No, no, because the kids were\u2014your calendar was so packed. There wasn\u2019t time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> For Barbara and me\u2014a date night on Sunday night. I\u2019m convinced\u2014if we hadn\u2019t had that, once a week\u2014we didn\u2019t hit all four out of four in a month; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut we\u2019d hit four out of five, or three out of four in a month\u2014it was what kept us on the same page\u2014raising our kids, and in our marriage, and staying up-to-date in each other\u2019s lives. It\u2019s easy to allow the kids\u2019 schedules to crowd out those date nights and not pay attention to your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. I think any good man\u2014any good godly man\u2014is not going to say to his wife, \u201cHey, you know what? Don\u2019t take the kids there today,\u201d or, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to take little Johnny here.\u201d Any good, godly man is going to put the kids first. So, now, you have both of them\u2014both the husband and the wife\u2014putting children first. We did the same thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When that happens, the home becomes a child-centered home. That\u2019s not good for anybody.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> No. And number four I have: \u201cParent guilt\u2014my wallet\u2019s worst nightmare.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Uh-huh. Oh, yes. We can all fill in the blank for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Feeling guilty for not doing this, not doing that\u2014so you overdose or indulge them with another activity or going to Chuck E Cheese<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. I felt bad. I felt bad about not having\u2014oh, maybe, I don\u2019t feel good about not having dinner around my table\u2014so, \u201cOkay, sure. I\u2019ll get you this.\u201d I joke in here, when I go to the store, it\u2019s like, \u201cOh, you want a Barbie? Sure.\u201d \u2014\u201cLarge farm animal? Alright, I\u2019ll bring it. Sure.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is how Samuel got the TV in his room now; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Oh, this was a guilt trip! I\u2019ll tell you. Oh, wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, you have to stop and tell us about this. We were together, before we came into the studio, and your older kids were\u2014they were whining!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Here\u2019s a lesson: \u201cDon\u2019t bring your children to a FamilyLife interview.\u201d [Laughter]\u00a0 That\u2019s my biggest tip. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you. This is what happened. I am a huge proponent\u2014you don\u2019t have a TV in your kids\u2019 room, period. You just don\u2019t. What he has there is\u2014he has the ability to play videos on a television that I got from Goodwill. It\u2019s not like he has access to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He\u2019s got a second-class TV. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes. He\u2019s not watching Jimmy Kimmel; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You feel strongly about this because you\u2019ve only pounded the table ten times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Well, yes. It\u2019s nice to have your kids come share your Mom-guilt, and expose it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Number three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Number three would be: \u201cChaos was my closest friend.\u201d I think that kind of gets tied up with our stress. I had a girlfriend once who called me; and she said, \u201cHey, my husband isn\u2019t coming home a lot at night.\u201d He was a good man. I said, \u201cWhy is he working so much?\u201d I went over to talk to her, at her house. We started talking. I stepped one foot in her house, and the chaos in that home was incredible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was incredible! You could feel it. It was clutter and chaos. We cleaned up the house. We started talking about some things. Once there was less chaos in her home, guess who came home more often? Her husband did. Chaos became my closest friend because you get used to the drama. We all have friends like that. We\u2019re like, \u201cOh, gosh, there\u2019s so much drama!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> You get used to living like that. I didn\u2019t want that. That was another one on my list.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That becomes the norm, so when you don\u2019t have chaos, it\u2019s like, \u201cLet\u2019s create some.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s easy to do that in this culture today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne: <\/strong>And you find value in it because you think, \u201cLook how busy and chaotic my life is<em>. <\/em>Surely, I\u2019m...\u201dPeople get confused, I think. I think parents are confused in thinking this is almost something that is a benefit, and it\u2019s not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I had number two, which was: \u201cHumming <em>Jesus, Take the Wheel<\/em>, on the way to a Girl Scout meeting, counted as my Bible time in the morning.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s creative.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes. That doesn\u2019t count.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All you had time for, right, was a little Carrie Underwood?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s your Quiet Time, huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Yes, and just for the record\u2014that is not Quiet Time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had to be in a place where there was just some spiritual dryness because of what you weren\u2019t carving out time for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. You make excuses for it because you say, \u201cSurely God gave me these children. He understands.\u201d He does, but you know what? You need that time. You need that oxygen. You need the Word. You need to be in the Word. When your life is like this, you\u2019re not; and then you have these excuses. Women will pat each other on the back and go, \u201cThat\u2019s a good excuse. I understand.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s not a good excuse. I can take it one step further. I was humming, <em>Jesus, Take the Wheel<\/em>. That was mine. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Is number one <em>the <\/em>most important of these ten?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joanne:<\/strong> Oh, most definitely. Number one can make me cry because number one was: \u201cI blinked, and my daughter was 17. Our kids grow up. I can\u2019t tell you how tired I was, when my kids were little, of hearing people come up to me and say, \u201cOh, enjoy this. They grow up so fast.\u201d I thought, \u201cOh, put a sock in it, lady!\u00a0 I smell like spit-up.\u201d You know? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when my daughter walked out her bedroom door, with her keys\u2014really? It goes so fast! It goes so fast. That was another reason I thought, \u201cWe\u2019ve got to take this time. We have to. There\u2019s not even an option here. We have to.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. Whether you\u2019re a mom or a dad\u2014we\u2019re following right in this, with you. We raised six. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was over in a blink. It\u2019s like, \u201cReally?\u201d We lived right where you lived. We had a lot going on in our kids\u2019 lives, our lives\u2014our family. A passage of Scripture really was, I think, used by God, in our lives, on a number of occasions to kind of create a schedule alignment and a spiritual wheel alignment at the same time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul wrote in Ephesians, Chapter 5, verse 15\u2014he said, \u201cLook carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, don\u2019t be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.\u201d I think it was Socrates who said, \u201cThe unexamined life is not worth living.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think an unexamined schedule\u2014in a family that\u2019s raising a brood of kids\u2014can easily fall off into the ditch and become a real problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where Mom and Dad, husband and wife, lovers and friends, have to get together on a date and have to say, \u201cEnough, already. How do we bring this chaos under some degree of direction, and control, and boundaries in our lives?\u201d because if you don\u2019t, as parents, the kids will. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your time is just like your money, in one regard; that is, you\u2019re deciding how you\u2019re going to invest it and what the return is going to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you invest your money and your time in what\u2019s valuable. So, your schedule\u2014as you look at your calendar\u2014is a statement of your values. Now, place your bets. Do you want\u2014and I don\u2019t think you have to pit them against each other necessarily\u2014but you can\u2019t sacrifice relationships on the altar of activities, and sports, and achievement, and constantly being on the go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPersonally, I\u2019m a little concerned for this generation of young families that are growing up today because I believe the comparison that they have with one another is forcing them to new levels of performance. If they\u2019re not careful, they\u2019re not just going to run the wheels off on their cars, they\u2019re going to run the wheels off on their family, their marriage, and have a true disaster.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It may not be that everybody, who is listening today, is going to do what you did, Joanne, and call a year-long timeout for the family and cut out all of the extracurriculars. I think the point is\u2014you need to look at what you are spending your time on because time is one of the assets that you have. It\u2019s a limited asset, and you want to make sure that it\u2019s prioritized properly: \u201cWhere is your relationship with God in how you spend your time? Where is your relationship together, as a family, in how you spend your time? What kinds of values are we promoting by the choices we\u2019re making with our time?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it would be helpful for moms to read a copy of your book, <em>Just Too Busy<\/em>\u2014and read about what you guys did, and why you did it, and then do some evaluation\u2014have some conversation together, as a husband and wife, about, \u201cHow we are doing in this area?\u201d\u00a0 We have copies of the book, <em>Just Too Busy<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about how you can get a copy of the book. Again, it\u2019s called <em>Just Too Busy<\/em>. The website is: FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you decide to take a timeout from some of the extracurriculars you have going on, you might want to look at some of the resources we have to promote family time\u2014like the <em>Just Add Family<\/em> resource that Kurt and Olivia Bruner put together for us. It has family nights you can do together to emphasize spiritual truths in your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr look at the collection of devotionals that Barbara Rainey has written to be read aloud, as a family: the devotional on gratitude\u2014the one on truth\u2014there\u2019s one on forgiveness\u2014and one on courage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for information, not only about Joanne\u2019s book, but about these other resources as well. Or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our goal, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, is to try to engage you, each day, in the kinds of conversations that get all of us thinking about our priorities\u2014about what\u2019s most important in our lives, about how we can love and serve one another in our families\u2014but all of that in the broader context of how we can honor and glorify God in all that we do. In fact, our mission statement is: \u201cTo effectively develop godly marriages and families, who change the world, one home at a time.\u201d We\u2019re grateful for those of you who share this burden with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou agree with us that marriage and family relationships are at the center of God\u2019s plan for us, as His creatures; and we need to be as committed to marriage and family as God is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to take a minute and say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who show your support for all that we\u2019re doing, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>,through your financial giving. More than 65 percent of the funds we need to operate this ministry come from folks, like you. You help cover the costs of producing and syndicating this daily radio program as it\u2019s distributed on our network of stations, all around the country, and in other parts of the world as well. And of course, it\u2019s available online and via our mobile apps. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for helping to make all of that possible through your support of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> You can make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click the link in the upper right-hand corner of our home page that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014make your donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019d like to mail in your donation, our mailing address is PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. And we\u2019re grateful, again, for your financial support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear from Joanne Kraft about some of the family field trips that the Kraft family took during their year-long radical sabbatical. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303447","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303447"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303447"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303447"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303447"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303447"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303447"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303447"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}