{"id":303437,"date":"2015-03-26T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-03-26T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/on-the-road-to-adoption\/"},"modified":"2015-03-26T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-03-26T15:00:00","slug":"on-the-road-to-adoption","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/on-the-road-to-adoption\/","title":{"rendered":"On the Road to Adoption"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pastor Brian Borgman talks about the little boy, Alex, they would eventually provide care for, and the challenges of parenting a child who has known nothing but neglect.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-26.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.85M","filesize_raw":"27105197","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818],"tags":[2712,5637,4475,5639,5638],"podcast_series":[8071],"cwp_profile":[9248],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303437","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","tag-adoption","tag-adoption-agency","tag-orphans","tag-questions-about-adoption","tag-sponsor-a-child","podcast_series-after-they-are-yours","cwp_profile-brian-borgman","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303437\/on-the-road-to-adoption","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303437\/on-the-road-to-adoption","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"0CV6mrxhzt\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/on-the-road-to-adoption\/\">On the Road to Adoption<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/on-the-road-to-adoption\/embed\/#?secret=0CV6mrxhzt\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;On the Road to Adoption&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"0CV6mrxhzt\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-26.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-26.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When Brian and Ariel Borgman became foster parents, they brought into their home a little boy who did not respond to discipline. Brian said the impact was disruptive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>I could say that I loved this kid, but I also felt the emotional weight of this disruptive force; whereas, Ariel saw this more as: \u201cThis is God\u2019s appointment for us. We need to love him and minister to him.\u201d I, to my shame, really was more focused often on the disruption and the discomfort that he was bringing to my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 26<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear from Brian Borgman today about how you navigate your family through some challenging waters that may occur when you take on the assignment of becoming a foster parent. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Can I give a shout-out to some of our Legacy Partners?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know how I can stop you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, I\u2019m just all over it. I\u2019ve got a list here of folks who support us on a monthly basis; and they keep this broadcast coming on this station, all across the country. We\u2019re heard about 1,100 times a day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014to about 1.5 million people a week. You, Legacy Partners, make this happen. So, I want to give a shout-out to Alexander and Patricia who live down in Friendswood, Texas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ve been to Friendswood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have too\u2014got a brother-in-law who lives there. There is Megan in Herculaneum\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Herculaneum, Missouri. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Herculaneum, Missouri. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Never been there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Both Bob and I are Missouri boys, and I\u2019ve not been to Herculaneum. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Nor have I, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But thank you, Megan, for standing with us. Then, Michael and Nicole from Omaha, Nebraska, Michael and Janna from Fort Worth\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014well, that\u2019s enough for today. [Laughter]\u00a0 I just want to say: \u201cThanks!\u00a0 You keep us coming on this station and keep a message like <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> coming strong across our country.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and today\u2019s message is one we have\u2014we have visited this before; but, from time to time, you just need to remind folks that there is a noble and difficult assignment that some families are called to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There really is. In fact, I would just\u2014in thinking about today\u2019s broadcast about orphans, and about foster care, and about adoption, and going near the needs of children, I was just reminded of Romans, Chapter 12, verse 9: \u201cLet love be genuine. Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.\u201d\u00a0 It goes on to say: \u201cRejoice in hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBe patient in tribulation. Be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, one of the areas that we need to improve our hospitality in is taking care of the needs of children who are orphans. Our foster care system in America today has over 400,000 children in it who need the church to step up and step out and make a difference in their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, our friends at the Christian Alliance for Orphans have been advocates for this for years. In fact, they\u2019ve got their annual get-together happening in Nashville, coming up at the end of April \/ first part of May. We\u2019d encourage our listeners\u2014if you have a heart for orphan care or adoption and want to see your church as a part of the solution for that, you might want to attend or send someone from your church to Nashville for the Christian Alliance for Orphans annual convention that will be taking place there, again, at the end of April \/ beginning of May. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a link on our website\u2014at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014that will get you right there if you want to look for it. Just go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob and I will be there. In fact, you\u2019ve made almost every one of these. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>This will be the 11<sup>th<\/sup> time, and it\u2019s grown every year. Last year, we had almost 3,000 people in Chicago. I hope you\u2019ll join us. This is a <em>great conference<\/em> especially for those who care about the needs of orphans. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have a pastor with us. Pastor Brian Borgman joins us all the way from Nevada. Did I pronounce that correctly?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes, you did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A lot of people blow the name of your state. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes, they do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s <em>not<\/em> Na-<em>va<\/em>-da. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>It is <em>not<\/em> Na-<em>va<\/em>-da. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He\u2019s pretty dogmatic about that!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Brian is an author. He\u2019s a speaker. He is a pastor of Grace Community Church in Minden, Nevada. Share with our listeners where that is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, Minden is in the Carson Valley which is basically on the eastern side of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re about 30 minutes from South Lake Tahoe\u2014absolutely beautiful place to live. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The only state in the country that has a perpetual drought. [Laughter]\u00a0 He and his wife Ariel have three children and one grandson. He has written a book called <em>After They Are Yours<\/em>. Now, you have to tell me, when did the idea about adopting get on your radar\u2014both you and Ariel?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, it was on Ariel\u2019s radar before it was on mine. We had always been strongly, strongly pro-life. We started trying to think about some creative things that we could do. So, we got into foster care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we got into foster care, I thought we were doing a good thing; and yet, the little boy that we had was going to come up for adoption pretty soon. Ariel was convinced this was what we should do\u2014this was God\u2019s will for our life\u2014I was not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was he your only foster care child, or had you had other kids in the home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>He was our first. Then, we had another one who was a short-term foster care assignment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And this was really a burden of yours, just to say, \u201cIf we are going to have a consistent pro-life ethic, we need to care for those who don\u2019t have anybody caring for them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>Absolutely; then, in our county, there are many, many needs. I mean, I\u2019m sure this is true across the nation; but in our county, there were so few foster care homes and the need was just great. So, we thought, \u201cWhat better way to demonstrate our commitment to life and to those who are in need than to step out and help in the foster care system?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Why foster care and not adoption originally?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, I think that, for us\u2014first of all, we had a friend who was a director with Koinonia Ministries, which used to provide training\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I\u2019m not sure about their status anymore\u2014but they used to provide training, especially for Christian parents\u2014to go in and be involved in foster care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we knew this guy\u2014he had encouraged us. Of course, the <em>need<\/em> in our area was just so great. So, a lot of kids would be taken from their homes and then shipped off to Yerington, or Reno, or other places outside of their own communities. It was that initial burden that just seemed to strike us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, it\u2019s interesting to me\u2014we have a major crisis in America in the foster care system. There are not enough families\u2014you said it\u2014to take care of all of them. The only organization in the country large enough to address this need is the church because there are over 400,000 churches. If each church had one family in it that would care for a foster care child, we\u2019d immediately empty out the foster care system with trained families to know how to care for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s not happening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, in a couple of states, like Colorado and here in Arkansas, there are churches who are going after emptying the foster care system by rallying the church and rallying families to step up and say: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 We\u2019ll get qualified. We\u2019ll get trained. And we\u2019ll begin to care for these foster care kids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what happened with you and Ariel when you said, \u201cYes\u201d?\u00a0 You were immediately visited by a foster care worker; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, we went through all the training. We actually decided that we would pursue therapeutic foster care so we could have special needs kids. So, we went through all the training. We had a state social worker come to the house for our final approval. I just knew, from the beginning of that interview, that it was not going to go well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe asked us if we spanked our own children. He asked us how many times we were in church a week\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014asked us what kind of outside religious activities from the church that we did. Of course, I mean, we\u2019d have family devotions every day. I kept asking him, \u201cAre these things a problem?\u201d\u00a0 He would say, \u201cNo. No.\u201d\u00a0 Well, typically, the licensing would take place within a couple of weeks after that final interview. We didn\u2019t hear anything\u2014didn\u2019t hear anything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, the Koinonia representative called and wanted to know what the holdup was. And there, of course, was just the typical excuse, \u201cWell, it\u2019s just taking longer than normal.\u201d\u00a0 And then, finally, after probably like six weeks or so, they finally found out that we had been denied. At which point, the Koinonia worker said: \u201cWhat are you doing?\u00a0 You say that you need stable families to take care of these kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI have a stable family and one social worker doesn\u2019t like the way they discipline their own children and thinks, \u2018They are excessively religious,\u2019 and now, you\u2019ve disqualified them.\u201d\u00a0 They didn\u2019t change their minds until they had a special case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A child who had needs that they couldn\u2019t find anyone to care for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just want to say that this may happen\u2014what you are talking about\u2014across the country; but I would say, \u201cIt\u2019s out of the norm compared to what\u2019s taking place in other states.\u201d\u00a0 For the most part, I think you are going to find the workers, associated with foster care, welcome people of faith and people from the church to address the needs of these kids because they\u2019re overwhelmed with children who need families. They can\u2019t get enough families to care for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I wouldn\u2019t want to set our audience up to think there\u2019s going to be an obstacle, right from the start, to becoming a foster care parent because I don\u2019t think that\u2019s the case, across the board.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In your case, it happened to be until\u2014as you said\u2014there was a special needs situation that came up. Tell us about the phone call you got to say, \u201cWell, we\u2019re reconsidering.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes, we received a phone call directly from the state, which was unusual because Koinonia was supposed to be our liaison. We get a call, and they asked us if we were interested in taking a 20-month-old little boy. I said, \u201cWell, we\u2019re not licensed.\u201d\u00a0 And they said, \u201cYes, you are. As of today, you\u2019ve received a provisional license.\u201d\u00a0 I really didn\u2019t know what to make of it. I called the Koinonia worker. My wife was absolutely convinced this was the little boy we take. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She was ready to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Absolutely. And I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhy would they change their minds and offer us a little boy today?\u201d\u00a0 They found out that this little guy had been in four different homes in six weeks and was a handful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>And I told the Koinonia worker that we would pray about it. My wife looked at me and said: \u201cWe\u2019ve already been praying about it. This is God\u2019s answer to our prayers!\u201d\u00a0 She was 100 percent convinced, and I was not there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, how did you work out the marital conflict because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They went to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Bob. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You guys were not on the same page\u2014she\u2019s ready to go \/ you\u2019re not so sure. How did you work your way through that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, there really were two stages to that. I will say that there was some intense marital conflict, at points\u2014but I kind of felt like: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 We can give this a try. Ariel\u2019s heart is in this 100 percent. I can certainly be a support. If this little guy blows out of our home, too, then, lesson learned and maybe they\u2019ll let us keep fostering. I don\u2019t know.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m hearing language, though\u2014this is more Ariel\u2019s idea than yours.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>I was sold on the idea of foster care. I was not sold on the idea of bringing in a force into our home that would be disruptive and create more difficulties. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, what did they tell you about Alex, then?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, we ended up getting as much information as we could. He had an older brother. They had to separate them because they had been greatly neglected and, actually, had learned to be violent together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>So, the state believed that they needed to separate. The older went with the grandmother and, then, there was Alex\u2014just really in limbo. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you said he\u2019s 20 months old?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>He\u2019s 20 months old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I mean, how much of a terror can a 20-month-old be?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, answer that question. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, I wish Ariel was here!\u00a0 She could give you some really great examples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the interesting thing was\u2014is that we said, \u201cYes\u201d; they brought him over. The first week was just wonderful\u2014he was docile. He was just kind of checking out his environment. He got along with our kids. That first week, I\u2019m thinking to myself, \u201cWhy in the world is this kid so tough?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, then, the second week came; and it was just a little Tasmanian devil running around the house\u2014biting Ashley and Zach, dumping cereal on his head every morning\u2014just this constant defiance, not responding to any kind of commands and, basically, a 20-month-old anarchist. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Wow!\u00a0 I\u2019m getting the picture!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Brian, I have to think that there came a point\u2014I mean, you describe\u2014week one, he\u2019s docile; week two, he\u2019s a Tasmanian devil. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere came a point in this process where it became manageable. He became a functioning citizen in the Borgman home, even if there were still issues that were showing up\u2014but you got into a rhythm, as a family, where you said, \u201cOkay, we can do this\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes; and, again, I attribute the bulk of that to Ariel and really God\u2019s grace in her life\u2014she just kept loving this little guy. I could say that I loved this kid; but I also felt the emotional weight of this disruptive force because our two biological children are fallen and sinners, of course\u2014they obeyed \/ they responded to discipline. They responded to reproof and correction. Then, we have this child in the home that just didn\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhereas, Ariel saw this more as: \u201cThis is God\u2019s appointment for us. We need to love him and minister to him.\u201d I, to my shame, really was more focused often on the disruption and the discomfort that he was bringing to my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I\u2019m thinking that, right now, we\u2019re talking to some wives and, maybe some moms, who have this burden like Ariel did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Coach <em>them <\/em>of how to approach their husband, who is dragging his feet\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Or maybe, how not to approach their husband\u2014maybe, they need both. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. Give them a little coaching, both plus and minus, of some things they should do and shouldn\u2019t do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, for a wife and a mom, I think it\u2019s important that she gets to the place where her husband buys into what she sees as something that is a ministry\u2014a James 1:27 ministry of helping widows and orphans in need; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And they really need to <em>own it<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014with their wives. It can\u2019t just be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cIf that\u2019s your thing, Honey, and you want to do that,\u201d\u2014right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Exactly; because, when it gets tough like we\u2019re talking about here, it could become a point of division in the marriage and the family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes. I would encourage wives to pray for their husbands and to pray that God would open the eyes of their husbands and their hearts so that they would see the need in the same way that they do. And you know, we really\u2014we believe that God does answer prayer. We believe that God can change hearts. So, when I say, \u201cWives, pray for your husbands and pray for that,\u201d that is not just some sort of Christian clich\u00e9. There is power in a praying wife. Enlist some close friends that you know\u2014storm the throne of grace!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, and I guess, whether I\u2019m talking to a wife or a husband, at this point\u2014where this perhaps is something you are thinking about or you\u2019ve discussed\u2014I just want to pull back to the big picture for a moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack a few months ago, I spoke to a group of homeless men. Before I went to speak there, I did some research about the number of homeless men there are in America. It\u2019s over 650,000. And there are some that are veterans who are homeless. But one of the largest percentages\u2014over 30 percent\u2014were those who had aged-out of the foster care system. And it\u2019s a human being\u2014it\u2019s a little boy \/ in some cases, it\u2019s a little girl\u2014who has grown up to be a teenager and, now, is going to tackle the world, as an 18-year-old, without the support system of a family?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>To me, I think this is one of the most sacred callings of a church, and the people of that church, to stop and really do a census in their community: \u201cWhat\u2019s happening in the foster care system in our community?\u201d\u2014and if need be\u2014\u201c\u2026.in your state?\u201d\u00a0 Just ask the question: \u201cWhy is this so?\u00a0 Why are there so many children that don\u2019t have a family to care for them?\u201d\u00a0 Then, secondly, ask the question, \u201cWhat\u2019s our responsibility?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; \u201cWhat can we do?\u201d\u00a0 Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cWhat\u2019s our act of faith?\u201d\u00a0 It is back to Paul\u2019s writing in Romans, Chapter 12, \u201cContribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.\u201d\u00a0 Sometimes, our hospitality can be to those who will pay us back with hospitality in return. Perhaps, for some, it\u2019s showing hospitality to those who may never pay us back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I know your book is about your own journey of adoption, which we\u2019re going to talk about\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but even a family thinking about foster care, it would be wise for them\u2014for a husband and a wife\u2014to both read the hundred pages you\u2019ve written here and start to think through the cost, and the process, and just to have that as a framework\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014as a dialogue, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, this is something that deserves a lot of conversation and, as we\u2019ve mentioned, a lot prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>A lot of prayer. We\u2019ve got copies of Brian Borgman\u2019s book, <em>After They Are Yours<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. The subtitle is <em>The Grace and Grit of Adoption<\/em>. Whether you are thinking about adopting or you are in the middle of the kind of story that the Borgman\u2019s had, where it\u2019s hard to hope, it would be helpful to read a story that is full of reality and redemption. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and order a copy of the book, <em>After They Are Yours<\/em>. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and you can order the book from us right there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and order over the phone\u2014so, again, 1-800-358-6329 to order by phone\u2014or if you\u2019d like to order, online, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and order from our website. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, Dennis and I will be at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit that is taking place in Nashville, Tennessee, in a few weeks. It\u2019s actually April 30<sup>th<\/sup> and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMay 1<sup>st<\/sup>. If you have any interest in caring for the needs of orphans or how your church can get involved in orphan care or foster care, I\u2019d encourage you to find out more about the summit. Go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. When you click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d you\u2019ll find a link for the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit 2015; and we hope to see you in Nashville. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA quick word of thanks to those folks who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and you know who you are\u2014those of you who are Legacy Partners and make regular monthly contributions to help support this ministry\u2014cover the costs of producing and syndicating this program so that it can continue on this local radio station. Or those of you who pitch in, from time to time, to help with our financial needs\u2014we appreciate your support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, right now, we\u2019d like to say a special \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a set of Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014a dozen plastic eggs\u2014each one filled with something that represents an event that took place in the last week of Jesus\u2019 life on earth. This is a great tool to use with your children or your grandchildren. It\u2019s our thank-you gift to you when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d and make an online donation. Or you can request a set of Resurrection Eggs when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation. You can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur zip code is 72223. Again, make sure you let us know that you\u2019d like a set of Resurrection Eggs when you donate, and we\u2019re happy to send it out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear about how Alex went from being a foster care child in the Borgman home to becoming a Borgman. We\u2019ll hear that story tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.85M"],"filesize_raw":["27105197"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303437.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303437.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Brian Borgman talks about the little boy, Alex, they would eventually provide care for, and the challenges of parenting a child who has known nothing but neglect.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-26.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When Brian and Ariel Borgman became foster parents, they brought into their home a little boy who did not respond to discipline. Brian said the impact was disruptive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>I could say that I loved this kid, but I also felt the emotional weight of this disruptive force; whereas, Ariel saw this more as: \u201cThis is God\u2019s appointment for us. We need to love him and minister to him.\u201d I, to my shame, really was more focused often on the disruption and the discomfort that he was bringing to my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 26<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear from Brian Borgman today about how you navigate your family through some challenging waters that may occur when you take on the assignment of becoming a foster parent. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Can I give a shout-out to some of our Legacy Partners?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know how I can stop you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, I\u2019m just all over it. I\u2019ve got a list here of folks who support us on a monthly basis; and they keep this broadcast coming on this station, all across the country. We\u2019re heard about 1,100 times a day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014to about 1.5 million people a week. You, Legacy Partners, make this happen. So, I want to give a shout-out to Alexander and Patricia who live down in Friendswood, Texas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ve been to Friendswood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have too\u2014got a brother-in-law who lives there. There is Megan in Herculaneum\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Herculaneum, Missouri. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Herculaneum, Missouri. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Never been there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Both Bob and I are Missouri boys, and I\u2019ve not been to Herculaneum. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Nor have I, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But thank you, Megan, for standing with us. Then, Michael and Nicole from Omaha, Nebraska, Michael and Janna from Fort Worth\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014well, that\u2019s enough for today. [Laughter]\u00a0 I just want to say: \u201cThanks!\u00a0 You keep us coming on this station and keep a message like <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> coming strong across our country.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and today\u2019s message is one we have\u2014we have visited this before; but, from time to time, you just need to remind folks that there is a noble and difficult assignment that some families are called to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There really is. In fact, I would just\u2014in thinking about today\u2019s broadcast about orphans, and about foster care, and about adoption, and going near the needs of children, I was just reminded of Romans, Chapter 12, verse 9: \u201cLet love be genuine. Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.\u201d\u00a0 It goes on to say: \u201cRejoice in hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBe patient in tribulation. Be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, one of the areas that we need to improve our hospitality in is taking care of the needs of children who are orphans. Our foster care system in America today has over 400,000 children in it who need the church to step up and step out and make a difference in their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, our friends at the Christian Alliance for Orphans have been advocates for this for years. In fact, they\u2019ve got their annual get-together happening in Nashville, coming up at the end of April \/ first part of May. We\u2019d encourage our listeners\u2014if you have a heart for orphan care or adoption and want to see your church as a part of the solution for that, you might want to attend or send someone from your church to Nashville for the Christian Alliance for Orphans annual convention that will be taking place there, again, at the end of April \/ beginning of May. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a link on our website\u2014at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014that will get you right there if you want to look for it. Just go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob and I will be there. In fact, you\u2019ve made almost every one of these. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>This will be the 11<sup>th<\/sup> time, and it\u2019s grown every year. Last year, we had almost 3,000 people in Chicago. I hope you\u2019ll join us. This is a <em>great conference<\/em> especially for those who care about the needs of orphans. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have a pastor with us. Pastor Brian Borgman joins us all the way from Nevada. Did I pronounce that correctly?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes, you did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A lot of people blow the name of your state. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes, they do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s <em>not<\/em> Na-<em>va<\/em>-da. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>It is <em>not<\/em> Na-<em>va<\/em>-da. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He\u2019s pretty dogmatic about that!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Brian is an author. He\u2019s a speaker. He is a pastor of Grace Community Church in Minden, Nevada. Share with our listeners where that is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, Minden is in the Carson Valley which is basically on the eastern side of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re about 30 minutes from South Lake Tahoe\u2014absolutely beautiful place to live. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The only state in the country that has a perpetual drought. [Laughter]\u00a0 He and his wife Ariel have three children and one grandson. He has written a book called <em>After They Are Yours<\/em>. Now, you have to tell me, when did the idea about adopting get on your radar\u2014both you and Ariel?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, it was on Ariel\u2019s radar before it was on mine. We had always been strongly, strongly pro-life. We started trying to think about some creative things that we could do. So, we got into foster care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we got into foster care, I thought we were doing a good thing; and yet, the little boy that we had was going to come up for adoption pretty soon. Ariel was convinced this was what we should do\u2014this was God\u2019s will for our life\u2014I was not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was he your only foster care child, or had you had other kids in the home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>He was our first. Then, we had another one who was a short-term foster care assignment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And this was really a burden of yours, just to say, \u201cIf we are going to have a consistent pro-life ethic, we need to care for those who don\u2019t have anybody caring for them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>Absolutely; then, in our county, there are many, many needs. I mean, I\u2019m sure this is true across the nation; but in our county, there were so few foster care homes and the need was just great. So, we thought, \u201cWhat better way to demonstrate our commitment to life and to those who are in need than to step out and help in the foster care system?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Why foster care and not adoption originally?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, I think that, for us\u2014first of all, we had a friend who was a director with Koinonia Ministries, which used to provide training\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I\u2019m not sure about their status anymore\u2014but they used to provide training, especially for Christian parents\u2014to go in and be involved in foster care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we knew this guy\u2014he had encouraged us. Of course, the <em>need<\/em> in our area was just so great. So, a lot of kids would be taken from their homes and then shipped off to Yerington, or Reno, or other places outside of their own communities. It was that initial burden that just seemed to strike us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, it\u2019s interesting to me\u2014we have a major crisis in America in the foster care system. There are not enough families\u2014you said it\u2014to take care of all of them. The only organization in the country large enough to address this need is the church because there are over 400,000 churches. If each church had one family in it that would care for a foster care child, we\u2019d immediately empty out the foster care system with trained families to know how to care for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s not happening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, in a couple of states, like Colorado and here in Arkansas, there are churches who are going after emptying the foster care system by rallying the church and rallying families to step up and say: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 We\u2019ll get qualified. We\u2019ll get trained. And we\u2019ll begin to care for these foster care kids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what happened with you and Ariel when you said, \u201cYes\u201d?\u00a0 You were immediately visited by a foster care worker; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, we went through all the training. We actually decided that we would pursue therapeutic foster care so we could have special needs kids. So, we went through all the training. We had a state social worker come to the house for our final approval. I just knew, from the beginning of that interview, that it was not going to go well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe asked us if we spanked our own children. He asked us how many times we were in church a week\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014asked us what kind of outside religious activities from the church that we did. Of course, I mean, we\u2019d have family devotions every day. I kept asking him, \u201cAre these things a problem?\u201d\u00a0 He would say, \u201cNo. No.\u201d\u00a0 Well, typically, the licensing would take place within a couple of weeks after that final interview. We didn\u2019t hear anything\u2014didn\u2019t hear anything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, the Koinonia representative called and wanted to know what the holdup was. And there, of course, was just the typical excuse, \u201cWell, it\u2019s just taking longer than normal.\u201d\u00a0 And then, finally, after probably like six weeks or so, they finally found out that we had been denied. At which point, the Koinonia worker said: \u201cWhat are you doing?\u00a0 You say that you need stable families to take care of these kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI have a stable family and one social worker doesn\u2019t like the way they discipline their own children and thinks, \u2018They are excessively religious,\u2019 and now, you\u2019ve disqualified them.\u201d\u00a0 They didn\u2019t change their minds until they had a special case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A child who had needs that they couldn\u2019t find anyone to care for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just want to say that this may happen\u2014what you are talking about\u2014across the country; but I would say, \u201cIt\u2019s out of the norm compared to what\u2019s taking place in other states.\u201d\u00a0 For the most part, I think you are going to find the workers, associated with foster care, welcome people of faith and people from the church to address the needs of these kids because they\u2019re overwhelmed with children who need families. They can\u2019t get enough families to care for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I wouldn\u2019t want to set our audience up to think there\u2019s going to be an obstacle, right from the start, to becoming a foster care parent because I don\u2019t think that\u2019s the case, across the board.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In your case, it happened to be until\u2014as you said\u2014there was a special needs situation that came up. Tell us about the phone call you got to say, \u201cWell, we\u2019re reconsidering.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes, we received a phone call directly from the state, which was unusual because Koinonia was supposed to be our liaison. We get a call, and they asked us if we were interested in taking a 20-month-old little boy. I said, \u201cWell, we\u2019re not licensed.\u201d\u00a0 And they said, \u201cYes, you are. As of today, you\u2019ve received a provisional license.\u201d\u00a0 I really didn\u2019t know what to make of it. I called the Koinonia worker. My wife was absolutely convinced this was the little boy we take. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She was ready to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Absolutely. And I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhy would they change their minds and offer us a little boy today?\u201d\u00a0 They found out that this little guy had been in four different homes in six weeks and was a handful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>And I told the Koinonia worker that we would pray about it. My wife looked at me and said: \u201cWe\u2019ve already been praying about it. This is God\u2019s answer to our prayers!\u201d\u00a0 She was 100 percent convinced, and I was not there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, how did you work out the marital conflict because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They went to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Bob. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You guys were not on the same page\u2014she\u2019s ready to go \/ you\u2019re not so sure. How did you work your way through that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, there really were two stages to that. I will say that there was some intense marital conflict, at points\u2014but I kind of felt like: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 We can give this a try. Ariel\u2019s heart is in this 100 percent. I can certainly be a support. If this little guy blows out of our home, too, then, lesson learned and maybe they\u2019ll let us keep fostering. I don\u2019t know.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m hearing language, though\u2014this is more Ariel\u2019s idea than yours.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>I was sold on the idea of foster care. I was not sold on the idea of bringing in a force into our home that would be disruptive and create more difficulties. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, what did they tell you about Alex, then?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, we ended up getting as much information as we could. He had an older brother. They had to separate them because they had been greatly neglected and, actually, had learned to be violent together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>So, the state believed that they needed to separate. The older went with the grandmother and, then, there was Alex\u2014just really in limbo. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you said he\u2019s 20 months old?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>He\u2019s 20 months old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I mean, how much of a terror can a 20-month-old be?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, answer that question. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, I wish Ariel was here!\u00a0 She could give you some really great examples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the interesting thing was\u2014is that we said, \u201cYes\u201d; they brought him over. The first week was just wonderful\u2014he was docile. He was just kind of checking out his environment. He got along with our kids. That first week, I\u2019m thinking to myself, \u201cWhy in the world is this kid so tough?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, then, the second week came; and it was just a little Tasmanian devil running around the house\u2014biting Ashley and Zach, dumping cereal on his head every morning\u2014just this constant defiance, not responding to any kind of commands and, basically, a 20-month-old anarchist. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Wow!\u00a0 I\u2019m getting the picture!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Brian, I have to think that there came a point\u2014I mean, you describe\u2014week one, he\u2019s docile; week two, he\u2019s a Tasmanian devil. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere came a point in this process where it became manageable. He became a functioning citizen in the Borgman home, even if there were still issues that were showing up\u2014but you got into a rhythm, as a family, where you said, \u201cOkay, we can do this\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes; and, again, I attribute the bulk of that to Ariel and really God\u2019s grace in her life\u2014she just kept loving this little guy. I could say that I loved this kid; but I also felt the emotional weight of this disruptive force because our two biological children are fallen and sinners, of course\u2014they obeyed \/ they responded to discipline. They responded to reproof and correction. Then, we have this child in the home that just didn\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhereas, Ariel saw this more as: \u201cThis is God\u2019s appointment for us. We need to love him and minister to him.\u201d I, to my shame, really was more focused often on the disruption and the discomfort that he was bringing to my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I\u2019m thinking that, right now, we\u2019re talking to some wives and, maybe some moms, who have this burden like Ariel did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Coach <em>them <\/em>of how to approach their husband, who is dragging his feet\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Or maybe, how not to approach their husband\u2014maybe, they need both. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. Give them a little coaching, both plus and minus, of some things they should do and shouldn\u2019t do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Well, for a wife and a mom, I think it\u2019s important that she gets to the place where her husband buys into what she sees as something that is a ministry\u2014a James 1:27 ministry of helping widows and orphans in need; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And they really need to <em>own it<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014with their wives. It can\u2019t just be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cIf that\u2019s your thing, Honey, and you want to do that,\u201d\u2014right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Exactly; because, when it gets tough like we\u2019re talking about here, it could become a point of division in the marriage and the family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian: <\/strong>Yes. I would encourage wives to pray for their husbands and to pray that God would open the eyes of their husbands and their hearts so that they would see the need in the same way that they do. And you know, we really\u2014we believe that God does answer prayer. We believe that God can change hearts. So, when I say, \u201cWives, pray for your husbands and pray for that,\u201d that is not just some sort of Christian clich\u00e9. There is power in a praying wife. Enlist some close friends that you know\u2014storm the throne of grace!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, and I guess, whether I\u2019m talking to a wife or a husband, at this point\u2014where this perhaps is something you are thinking about or you\u2019ve discussed\u2014I just want to pull back to the big picture for a moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack a few months ago, I spoke to a group of homeless men. Before I went to speak there, I did some research about the number of homeless men there are in America. It\u2019s over 650,000. And there are some that are veterans who are homeless. But one of the largest percentages\u2014over 30 percent\u2014were those who had aged-out of the foster care system. And it\u2019s a human being\u2014it\u2019s a little boy \/ in some cases, it\u2019s a little girl\u2014who has grown up to be a teenager and, now, is going to tackle the world, as an 18-year-old, without the support system of a family?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>To me, I think this is one of the most sacred callings of a church, and the people of that church, to stop and really do a census in their community: \u201cWhat\u2019s happening in the foster care system in our community?\u201d\u2014and if need be\u2014\u201c\u2026.in your state?\u201d\u00a0 Just ask the question: \u201cWhy is this so?\u00a0 Why are there so many children that don\u2019t have a family to care for them?\u201d\u00a0 Then, secondly, ask the question, \u201cWhat\u2019s our responsibility?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; \u201cWhat can we do?\u201d\u00a0 Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cWhat\u2019s our act of faith?\u201d\u00a0 It is back to Paul\u2019s writing in Romans, Chapter 12, \u201cContribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.\u201d\u00a0 Sometimes, our hospitality can be to those who will pay us back with hospitality in return. Perhaps, for some, it\u2019s showing hospitality to those who may never pay us back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I know your book is about your own journey of adoption, which we\u2019re going to talk about\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but even a family thinking about foster care, it would be wise for them\u2014for a husband and a wife\u2014to both read the hundred pages you\u2019ve written here and start to think through the cost, and the process, and just to have that as a framework\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014as a dialogue, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, this is something that deserves a lot of conversation and, as we\u2019ve mentioned, a lot prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>A lot of prayer. We\u2019ve got copies of Brian Borgman\u2019s book, <em>After They Are Yours<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. The subtitle is <em>The Grace and Grit of Adoption<\/em>. Whether you are thinking about adopting or you are in the middle of the kind of story that the Borgman\u2019s had, where it\u2019s hard to hope, it would be helpful to read a story that is full of reality and redemption. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and order a copy of the book, <em>After They Are Yours<\/em>. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and you can order the book from us right there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and order over the phone\u2014so, again, 1-800-358-6329 to order by phone\u2014or if you\u2019d like to order, online, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and order from our website. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, Dennis and I will be at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit that is taking place in Nashville, Tennessee, in a few weeks. It\u2019s actually April 30<sup>th<\/sup> and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMay 1<sup>st<\/sup>. If you have any interest in caring for the needs of orphans or how your church can get involved in orphan care or foster care, I\u2019d encourage you to find out more about the summit. Go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. When you click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d you\u2019ll find a link for the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit 2015; and we hope to see you in Nashville. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA quick word of thanks to those folks who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and you know who you are\u2014those of you who are Legacy Partners and make regular monthly contributions to help support this ministry\u2014cover the costs of producing and syndicating this program so that it can continue on this local radio station. Or those of you who pitch in, from time to time, to help with our financial needs\u2014we appreciate your support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, right now, we\u2019d like to say a special \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a set of Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014a dozen plastic eggs\u2014each one filled with something that represents an event that took place in the last week of Jesus\u2019 life on earth. This is a great tool to use with your children or your grandchildren. It\u2019s our thank-you gift to you when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d and make an online donation. Or you can request a set of Resurrection Eggs when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation. You can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur zip code is 72223. Again, make sure you let us know that you\u2019d like a set of Resurrection Eggs when you donate, and we\u2019re happy to send it out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear about how Alex went from being a foster care child in the Borgman home to becoming a Borgman. We\u2019ll hear that story tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303437","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303437"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303437"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303437"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303437"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303437"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303437"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303437"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}