{"id":303419,"date":"2015-03-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-03-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/once-overlooked-but-not-forgotten\/"},"modified":"2015-03-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-03-13T15:00:00","slug":"once-overlooked-but-not-forgotten","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/once-overlooked-but-not-forgotten\/","title":{"rendered":"Once Overlooked, but Not Forgotten"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pastor Dave Wilson recalls one of his Sunday sermons when he publicly apologized to the broken and blended families in his congregation for the church&#8217;s weak attempts to reach out to them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-13.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"29.34M","filesize_raw":"30765778","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2867,2912],"tags":[2560,2585,5621,5620],"podcast_series":[8069],"cwp_profile":[3295,3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303419","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-involvement","category-stepfamily-ministry","tag-blended-families","tag-blended-family","tag-divorce-and-children","tag-what-is-a-blended-family","podcast_series-blended-family-ministry-in-the-church","cwp_profile-dave-wilson","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303419\/once-overlooked-but-not-forgotten","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303419\/once-overlooked-but-not-forgotten","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"8NmkPSjbva\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/once-overlooked-but-not-forgotten\/\">Once Overlooked, but Not Forgotten<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/once-overlooked-but-not-forgotten\/embed\/#?secret=8NmkPSjbva\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Once Overlooked, but Not Forgotten&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"8NmkPSjbva\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-13.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-13.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How does a young man or a young woman, growing up in a blended family, feel when they show up for church on Sunday morning?\u00a0 Pastor Dave Wilson says, \u201cHe understands how that young man or young woman feels.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I was that kid. My family divorced when I was seven years old. I always felt, as a child in the church, \u201cless than\u201d\u2014judged. My mom was always pushed to the side because all the families at church were perfect, and we were very imperfect\u2014you know\u2014alcoholic dad, alcoholic mother trying to find God \/ trying to do the right thing\u2014and I always felt \u201cless than.\u201d\u00a0 But I tell you what\u2014I\u2019ve been a pastor at that church for 24 years, and I\u2019ve never said that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Dave Wilson joins us today. He tells us what happened the Sunday that he apologized to blended families in his church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. You know, I think a lot of churches \/ a lot of pastors look at the issue of blended families in their churches and they think to themselves, \u201cI have no clue what to do to help these folks.\u201d\u00a0 They have a desire to help\u2014they are just not sure how to go about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And they are afraid, if they do help, that some people will accuse them of dropping their standards because of the issue of divorce and remarriage. There are a lot of blended families in the church, who are looking at the church and the church staff, and they are going, \u201cYou really don\u2019t have a clue about what to do for us, who are in blended families. As a result, we\u2019re kind of wondering, \u2018Do we fit in?\u00a0 Should we be here?\u00a0 Is this the place for us to be?\u00a0 Are we not welcomed?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You and I had the opportunity, back last fall, to be with a couple hundred leaders, who had gathered together for the second annual FamilyLife blended summit. We were calling together folks who have a heart for blended ministry in a local church or in a community and talking about: \u201cHow can we be more effective in meeting the needs of couples in blended families who are coming to our churches?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the guests that we invited to speak to this group was a pastor from Detroit\u2014a friend of yours and mine\u2014Dave Wilson, who had a chance to talk to these folks about how he addressed this issue at his church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you do what you do best\u2014which you interviewed both Dave Wilson and the head of our blended family ministry, here at FamilyLife, Ron Deal, in front of this crowd of 200 folks, who are champions for blended families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Summit Interview]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Tell us about this clip. This is from a message that you did at church; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, you want to tell them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I would like to set it up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I thought you would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Correct me if I get the details wrong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I thought you would. Go ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay. Dave preaches for a large church in the Detroit area\u2014and it\u2019s a multisite church; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ron: <\/strong>How many sites?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>We just opened our sixth site. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay, and how many people in a weekend are connected to those six?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Fourteen\/fifteen thousand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay, so a lot of people. They were in this series that they were doing, as a church; but really, the cool back story is that they had a whole group of churches in the Detroit area going through the same lessons\u2014how many churches?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Six hundred fifty churches. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Six hundred fifty churches were also talking about blended families on that weekend, as well as doing a very similar study. Isn\u2019t that unity?\u00a0 How rare is that?\u00a0 [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Dave wanted to communicate some things to the people, and he did so with\u2014in the form of a video. They shot a video\u2014then, he played that video. When we rolled the clip, you\u2019re going to kind of come into the middle of him talking about complexity in stepfamilies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, coming out of the video, he had a very heartfelt message to the people in his church that rocked my world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Segment of Dave\u2019s Sermon]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>But Jenny meets Bill, and they fall in love. So, they get married. Let\u2019s just focus on Bill and Jenny here. What do we have now?\u00a0 We have a blended family\u2014with Ted, Sue, Jack, Pam, and Kyle all connected\u2014sort of, to Bill now and Jenny because they have visitation rights. There are some times when all five of these kids are living with Bill and Jenny now. Isn\u2019t it an interesting deal?\u00a0 Are you following this whole thing?\u00a0 Is it making any sense?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, we have a relationship here between Kathy\u2014who these are her kids\u2014now, sort of has a relationship, all the way over here, because she used to be married to Bill and, sometimes, he gets those kids. Bill has a relationship here. Sometimes, Bill and Jenny have a relationship over here. They need to get Frank over here\u2014when these kids all come over to stay here\u2014sometimes, he\u2019s with those kids. It gets <em>chaotic<\/em>; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve got all kinds of relationships. Then, you\u2019ve got ex-husbands, right here\u2014Jim and Bill\u2014and you\u2019ve got ex-wives\u2014Jenny and Kathy\u2014and it can be <em>really, really<\/em> complicated because all kinds of things are going on when Kyle spends time with Ted. He could influence Ted, even though they are stepbrothers now, and they are sometimes together. It just gets crazy, and you have people and relationships with different people in relationships. <br><br>Let me tell you\u2014when a <em>crisis<\/em> happens to this family, you see all the complexities come out. I was involved in one of these. I walked into a situation where we\u2019ve got the real mom with real son\u2014then, we\u2019ve got the stepmom in the same room\u2014and the dad fighting with this one and the dad fighting with that one. It got really complicated really quickly. So, what do you do with this?\u2014because this is the reality for many, many families. I believe God has an answer and wants to speak into this chaos of the blended family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, there you go\u2014it gets complex. There are all these different relationships going on. I almost drew a football plan in the middle of that thing; but I mean\u2014it was just crazy. In fact, it gets so crazy\u2014I couldn\u2019t remember who I wrote on the board. Wow!\u00a0 This is not the nuclear family. Can God work in that?\u00a0 Oh, of course, He can\u2014but it\u2019s a different world for a divorced family, or a broken family, or a blended family than it is for the nuclear family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut here\u2019s the first thing I think I need to say on behalf of myself and Kensington to divorced families and blended families\u2014two words\u2014\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry if you have felt \u201cless than\u201d at Kensington because you are divorced or blended. I think you need to hear that from us because\u2014I don\u2019t know what you\u2019ve felt here\u2014but if you have felt like your different or you\u2019re not as good as the nuclear perfect, little, biological family\u2014that everybody here is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014which we aren\u2019t, obviously\u2014but if you\u2019ve ever felt judged or \u201cless than\u201d\u2014would be the best way I can say it\u2014at this church: \u201cShame on us! \/ Shame on me!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod loves you and has a plan for your life, just like He does for my life or any other nuclear family. He absolutely is with you and loves you. If you\u2019ve ever felt like you walk in here and there is sort of like a scarlet \u201cD\u201d on your forehead or a scarlet \u201cB\u201d for blended, that is <em>not<\/em> God\u2019s heart at all. God is with you \/ God loves you. God has a plan for you. God can restore you. You have a home here. Do you understand me?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just needed to start there\u2014to say, \u201cI am sorry.\u201d\u00a0 If we\u2014or any leadership, or anybody in this church, any small group leader \/ anybody has ever made you feel \u201cless than\u201d because of the brokenness of your life \/ and your marriage vows being broken and you couldn\u2019t\u2014God forbid us from ever making you feel that way. That is <em>not<\/em> the heart of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I just wanted to start there to say, \u201cI am sorry if you\u2019ve ever felt that.\u201d\u00a0 I want to make sure, as a leader here, that isn\u2019t what you <em>feel<\/em> from us or from the heart of God because that is <em>not<\/em> His heart at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Summit Interview]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I was watching the folks, here, as you were doing that. I was watching them nod a lot as you were talking\u2014I thought some of these folks were going to cry. What happened there when you did that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>They cried. I mean, I started to tear\u2014I haven\u2019t watched it since the day I did it. I was that kid\u2014my family divorced when I was seven years old. I always felt, as a child in the church, \u201cless than\u201d\u2014judged. My mom was always pushed to the side because all of the families at church were perfect, and we were very imperfect\u2014you know\u2014alcoholic dad, alcoholic mother trying to find God, trying to do the right thing. I always felt \u201cless than.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But I tell you what\u2014I\u2019ve been a pastor at that church for 24 years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and I\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> said that. It never hit me to that\u2014until I read your material \/ until we decided to do that weekend on the blended\u2014I <em>made<\/em> us do that weekend. The series was going a different place; and I said, \u201cWe have to have\u201d\u2014it was a six-week series\u2014\u201cWe have to have a week where we can speak to the divorced family \/ to the blended family.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet, as I started to put the material together\u2014really reading that great material from Ron\u2014God got hold of my heart. He\u2019s like, \u201cYou have <em>never<\/em> said to the people what you felt all those years, and you know they felt the same thing from your own church.\u201d And I just\u2014it hit me. I mean, I did that four or five times that weekend\u2014in the different services. Every time\u2014I mean, watching it now, I got emotional again. It\u2019s like: \u201cThat <em>needs<\/em> to be said by the church to the blended family, everywhere around the world,\u201d because I bet you every church\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014hasn\u2019t done what I have done; you know. [Applause]\u00a0 So, I had no idea Ron would ever see\u2014I didn\u2019t call him and say, \u201cI did a good thing!\u201d\u2014you know. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe just contacted me later\u2014I don\u2019t even know how he discovered it because God did use it. God used that weekend\u2014He really did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Tell me about the conversations you had with people from the church following that Sunday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave: <\/strong>The first conversations were \u201cThank you.\u201d\u00a0 I had a guy\u2014I played guitar in the band that weekend. Before I could leave the stage\u2014and usually you meet them down on the floor\u2014this guy <em>ran<\/em> up on the stage. I was putting my guitar on the stand, and he said: \u201cI\u2019ve been at this church 15 years. I\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> heard you say that. Thank you!\u201d\u00a0 And he gives me a big hug. He goes: \u201cI\u2019m that guy! I was ready to leave this place, and I think you meant it.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 What he meant by that, obviously, is \u201cWill you follow through?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>And that was, then, the next step: \u201cWill we have workshops?\u00a0 Will we have small groups?\u00a0 Will we wrap our arms and embrace the blended and help them?\u201d\u00a0 And we\u2019ve tried our best to do that, and we are doing that. And there are hundreds now of those groups on our campuses, just in our little church, to say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe don\u2019t want to just say it because everybody says it,\u201d\u2014and any preacher can say it. \u201cWe want to be God\u2019s hands and feet to help you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did I hear you right that there were 600-plus churches in the Detroit area\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014talking about blendeds that weekend?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, I think that, when I was up there, doing that\u2014650 churches just in Detroit were speaking the same thing in some form. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That was remarkable to see God work, and it was really powerful. We called that weekend\u2014the whole series is called <em>Home Remodeled<\/em>. It was sort of the vision of a house being rebuilt. We had the kids\u2019 room, and we did a week on the kids. You know, the bedroom\u2014we did a week on sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we had this last one called \u201cHouse for Sale\u201d because nobody ever thinks, when they get married, they are ever going to put a \u201cFor Sale\u201d sign in the front yard; and I experienced that as a kid. I remember that was <em>such<\/em> a depressed moment in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>So, that was what that day was about \u201cWhat happens when this happens?\u201d\u2014and 50 percent of our churches are blended or divorced. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And why are we not loving them, and talking to them, and helping them?\u2014because they feel like we always help the family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Can we get an \u201cAmen\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014but we don\u2019t understand. Yes. [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you said that, after the service, you were doing something somewhere else. What did you do, following the sermon?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean\u2014we have a champion \/ really a whole group of champions of the blended, really\u2014using <em>The Smart Family<\/em> material; you know?\u00a0 And they have started a revival ministry, just in our church\u2014of champions, at each campus, that say, \u201cI will lead this initiative at our campus.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>There had to be some who were nervous with the idea of addressing this issue because, in the back of people\u2019s minds,\u2014you know, this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014there is this thought that we\u2019re going to find somebody in a troubled first marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and they\u2019re going to hear the message: \u201cGo ahead and get a divorce and find somebody new. It\u2019ll be better.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you get any pushback from people saying, \u201cWe can\u2019t talk about this\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>The first pushback was our team\/our staff. They said, \u201cDo not do the weekend.\u201d\u00a0 I never told you that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t know that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I had to fight for it. They were like, \u201cNo, we don\u2019t need to do that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201cYou can\u2019t use the whole weekend for the divorced, and the broken, and the blended.\u201d\u00a0 Then, after we did it, it was the opposite. When people saw it, then, there was a response that was like: \u201cOh my gosh\u2014that is the heart of God,\u201d because we\u2019re all broken. It\u2019s in your book\u2014I mean, is there a functional family in the Bible?\u2014not really!\u00a0 The ideals are there, but the reality is a different place. That\u2019s where we live. So, all we were doing was saying: \u201cWe know where we live. The complexity is beyond our means. How can we help?\u201d\u00a0 So, we just said: \u201cGod wants us to help you. God wants to restore you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can tell you there were some real miracle stories of blended families that never got any help\u2014that, as a result of the weekend \/ came to the workshop\u2014realized: \u201cI am accepted here \/ I am loved here, and I can move forward to restoration here. I\u2019m part of a church that is going to help us do that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Can you think of one\u2014a story that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, I mean, I can tell you multiples. A guy that I know very well\u2014known him for a long time\u2014was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they were at wits\u2019 end\u2014it wasn\u2019t working. It was never going to work, and I didn\u2019t know what to say to him until I read your material. I never understood the kid part\u2014even the \u201cIt takes seven years to blend.\u201d\u00a0 All that kind of stuff was new to me! So, I\u2019m reading this; and all I offered them was a little bit of wisdom. I sent them to Nino and Sid, who walked the journey with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut they were going to leave because they were attaching to their insiders \/ their kids\u2014and the outsiders \/ the other kids were\u2014so, they basically both said: \u201cI\u2019m going to stay with my kids because they\u2019ve gone through so much. I need to be more loyal to them than to my new spouse.\u201d\u00a0 We told them that \/ gave them your material\u2014and I\u2019m not here, doing a Ron Deal, \u201cBuy his stuff,\u201d\u2014 but it was like: \u201cOh my gosh, God used that to remind them, \u2018You married each other. Of course, your kids matter; but you\u2019ve got to make this relationship work.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And they did, and they are. Now, they are leading a small group to help others do it. [Applause]\u00a0 So, it\u2019s pretty cool. I could tell you, probably, 20 of those stories\u2014it\u2019s really cool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you were talking to a room-full of pastors, instead of this room, what would you say to the pastors\u2014because these folks may just go home and just say, \u201cLet me tell you what this other pastor said\u201d; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>First thing, I would say is: \u201cYou\u2019re a pastor\u2014you are a pastor.\u201d\u00a0 If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, Ephesians 4 says, \u201cYou\u2019re a pastor.\u201d\u00a0 You are as much a pastor as I am. God has gifted you in probably different and better ways than I am, and God wants to use you to be a pastor to somebody\u2014to shepherd somebody \/ to lead somebody. So, that would be the first thing I\u2019d say\u2014God wants to use <em>you<\/em>. You know this reality better than <em>anybody<\/em>\u2014\u201cGod wants to use <em>your<\/em> gifts and <em>your <\/em>experiences to wrap your arms and good material\u2014to walk the journey with them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I\u2019d also say, \u201cGo back to your pastor and say: \u2018Pastor, wake up!\u00a0 Look at the reality of what\u2019s going around,\u2019\u2014and just say: \u2018Man, these people are not to be <em>judged<\/em>. They need to be loved and understood. They are <em>broken<\/em>, just like you and me,\u201d and figure out a way to create a strategy. The material is out there to say, \u201cWhat can we do to help these people be used by God to then be ministers to other people?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because this is the church today. You can\u2019t say that to your pastor, but I would just encourage them to say, \u201cDo <em>something<\/em>\u2014help.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>What I love about what he just said is the \u201cus\u201d language; right?\u00a0 \u201cIf we don\u2019t partner with the senior pastors of our churches\u2026\u201d \u201cIf we don\u2019t get that \u2018us\u2019 language\u2026\u201d \u201cIf we don\u2019t come together around what can happen in the pulpit, in conjunction with what can happen in small groups, then, we\u2019re just going to continue to kind of just get along.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What did you hear from other\u2014some of the other 650 about what happened at their churches?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I heard pretty much the same thing. Sort of\u2014from the pastors was \u201cI had no idea.\u201d\u00a0 Once you open this topic, they felt the freedom to come and say, \u201cThat\u2019s me,\u201d\u2014not being ashamed anymore\u2014but say: \u201cReally?\u00a0 Is there hope?\u201d\u2014because, you know, the real question for them is: \u201cIs there hope?\u00a0 Is God with me?\u00a0 Will God restore?\u201d\u00a0 And He certainly will; but until somebody says that in leadership, sometimes, they just don\u2019t know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there are <em>thousands<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if not hundreds of thousands\u2014that don\u2019t even come to our churches because, maybe, they did once and they felt that and they just walked away and never came back. So, we need to open that door wide to say, \u201cYou are welcome here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s it. We talk about bridges of grace in our ministry, all the time, where we are trying to constantly communicate bridges of grace to stepfamilies and let them know that they can simply come and that it\u2019s alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You had an interesting experience, this year, in a couple of churches. Share with everybody about these. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I call this \u201cThe Tale of Two Churches\u201d because, to me, it just represents the contrast between what often is and what we want to be. Church one\u2014I went to \/ showed up. It was on the calendar for the church for nine months. Two months before the event, the entire pastoral leadership team at that church planned a staff retreat on the weekend of our stepfamily event. <em>Nobody<\/em> from the staff was even in town. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe very next month, I went to church number two. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe senior pastor was there. The children\u2019s pastor was there. The youth pastor was there. Their recovery ministry coordinators were part of the volunteer team, and they had couples from their stepfamily group that were all part of the volunteer team. I walked into that church\u2014into their fellowship hall. They had a little stage setup for the conference. Above it was their church mission statement: \u201cAttracting outsiders in and building insiders up.\u201d\u00a0 Now, this was their church mission statement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went to the senior pastor and I said: \u201cI cannot tell you how <em>perfect<\/em> that is because that\u2019s what stepfamilies are trying to do\u2014is take outsiders and bring them in\u2014and then, try to build one another up in the stepfamily experience to become family to one another. That is not only your church mission statement\u2014that\u2019s the beautiful mission statement of what we are doing this weekend. It\u2019s so fitting that your entire ministry team is here in support of this event. That just tells me something about your mentality,\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014as a church, toward your church members and your community.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How critical was it for you to have this lay couple in your church step up and be champions and say: \u201cWe will be here to lead this effort. You just tee up the ball, and we\u2019ll run with it\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, I mean the most critical. We feel that about any topic we have\u2014we really believe: \u201cYou\u2019re the ministers,\u201d\u2014\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014the congregation is. So, yes, I knew, as I said\u2014that I was not going to meet with people all week\u2014Nino and Sid and their army were. They were like: \u201cThank you!\u00a0 Thank you for giving us a mission and a mission field!\u201d\u2014because all we did, like you said, was tee it up for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I hear you deputizing all these folks:\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cGo be the Ninos and Sids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s it! \u201cGo and do\u2026\u201d\u2014exactly. [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Would you thank Dave Wilson for being here with us?\u00a0 [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Thank you. We done?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Can you tell there was some enthusiasm in the room?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And if our listener didn\u2019t feel a hand, reach through the radio, or your computer, or your iPhone and tap you on the shoulder [Tapping sound]: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThis may be <em>you<\/em>. <em>You<\/em> may be supposed to start this ministry in your local church. Or maybe, you should just help start a marriage and family ministry in your church.\u201d\u00a0 <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is a great way to do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut blended family is also a great way to reach out to a group of folks who will just soak it in because they are <em>thirsty<\/em> and <em>hungry<\/em> for what the Bible has to say about the place that they are in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and we\u2019re working hard to develop resources that anyone can use to help other folks\u2014whether it\u2019s <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>, either the small group study that you can go through in a small-group setting or an event kit so that you can host an event at your church. There is <em>The Smart Stepfamily <\/em>DVD series that Ron Deal has put together that has been used in a lot of churches to help start a blended family ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d you\u2019ll see information about the resources that we have available to help you start a marriage ministry or a blended family ministry in your local church. When we talk about you starting it, we\u2019re thinking: \u201cEverybody listening\u2014you could do this.\u201d\u00a0 You could go to your pastor or to the leaders at your church and say: \u201cWe want to help. We\u2019ll facilitate this. We\u2019ll host it in our home.\u201d\u00a0 Rather than going to your pastor and saying, \u201cWill the church do this?\u201d go to your pastor and say, \u201cWe\u2019d like to help make this happen.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to mention the Blended and Blessed<sup>\u2122<\/sup> Summit that\u2019s coming up in Southern California this fall\u2014if you are involved in blended ministry or if you think this is an area that you need to pursue in your local church, we\u2019re gathering together with hundreds of like-minded folks, from all across the country, coming out to Southern California in the fall for our third annual event around how to minister effectively to stepfamilies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get more information about the upcoming Blended and Blessed Summit. Again, it\u2019s on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the \u201cGO DEEPER\u201d button and look for the link, and the information you need is available right there. Or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Now, as always, we want you to know how grateful we are to those of you who are partners with us in the mission of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014those of you who share our burden to see practical biblical help delivered to couples and to families, day in and day out. Our desire is to see every home a godly home. So, we\u2019re seeking to effectively develop godly families because we believe godly families can change the world, one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for those of you who make this ministry possible through your financial support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, more than 65 percent of what it takes to operate this ministry is paid for by donations from folks, just like you. When you help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, that\u2019s where your money goes\u2014directly to the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program and the other outreaches that are a part of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a set of Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. It\u2019s a tool that we\u2019ve developed to help parents or grandparents share the Easter story with their preschool or early elementary-aged kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s our gift to you when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click in the upper right-hand corner of the screen, where it says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d Make an online donation, and we\u2019ll send you the Resurrection Eggs. Or you can request your set of Resurrection Eggs when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone. Or request the eggs when you write to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and make a donation. Our mailing address is PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend this weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in church. And we hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about how, as parents, we can do a better job of making the celebration of Jesus\u2019 resurrection a little more front-and-center in our homes during the Easter season. Barbara Rainey is going to join us with some thoughts on that. Hope you can be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["29.34M"],"filesize_raw":["30765778"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303419.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303419.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Dave Wilson recalls one of his Sunday sermons when he publicly apologized to the broken and blended families in his congregation for the church's weak attempts to reach out to them.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How does a young man or a young woman, growing up in a blended family, feel when they show up for church on Sunday morning?\u00a0 Pastor Dave Wilson says, \u201cHe understands how that young man or young woman feels.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I was that kid. My family divorced when I was seven years old. I always felt, as a child in the church, \u201cless than\u201d\u2014judged. My mom was always pushed to the side because all the families at church were perfect, and we were very imperfect\u2014you know\u2014alcoholic dad, alcoholic mother trying to find God \/ trying to do the right thing\u2014and I always felt \u201cless than.\u201d\u00a0 But I tell you what\u2014I\u2019ve been a pastor at that church for 24 years, and I\u2019ve never said that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Dave Wilson joins us today. He tells us what happened the Sunday that he apologized to blended families in his church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. You know, I think a lot of churches \/ a lot of pastors look at the issue of blended families in their churches and they think to themselves, \u201cI have no clue what to do to help these folks.\u201d\u00a0 They have a desire to help\u2014they are just not sure how to go about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And they are afraid, if they do help, that some people will accuse them of dropping their standards because of the issue of divorce and remarriage. There are a lot of blended families in the church, who are looking at the church and the church staff, and they are going, \u201cYou really don\u2019t have a clue about what to do for us, who are in blended families. As a result, we\u2019re kind of wondering, \u2018Do we fit in?\u00a0 Should we be here?\u00a0 Is this the place for us to be?\u00a0 Are we not welcomed?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You and I had the opportunity, back last fall, to be with a couple hundred leaders, who had gathered together for the second annual FamilyLife blended summit. We were calling together folks who have a heart for blended ministry in a local church or in a community and talking about: \u201cHow can we be more effective in meeting the needs of couples in blended families who are coming to our churches?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the guests that we invited to speak to this group was a pastor from Detroit\u2014a friend of yours and mine\u2014Dave Wilson, who had a chance to talk to these folks about how he addressed this issue at his church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you do what you do best\u2014which you interviewed both Dave Wilson and the head of our blended family ministry, here at FamilyLife, Ron Deal, in front of this crowd of 200 folks, who are champions for blended families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Summit Interview]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Tell us about this clip. This is from a message that you did at church; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, you want to tell them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I would like to set it up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I thought you would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Correct me if I get the details wrong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I thought you would. Go ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay. Dave preaches for a large church in the Detroit area\u2014and it\u2019s a multisite church; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ron: <\/strong>How many sites?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>We just opened our sixth site. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay, and how many people in a weekend are connected to those six?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Fourteen\/fifteen thousand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay, so a lot of people. They were in this series that they were doing, as a church; but really, the cool back story is that they had a whole group of churches in the Detroit area going through the same lessons\u2014how many churches?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Six hundred fifty churches. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Six hundred fifty churches were also talking about blended families on that weekend, as well as doing a very similar study. Isn\u2019t that unity?\u00a0 How rare is that?\u00a0 [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Dave wanted to communicate some things to the people, and he did so with\u2014in the form of a video. They shot a video\u2014then, he played that video. When we rolled the clip, you\u2019re going to kind of come into the middle of him talking about complexity in stepfamilies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, coming out of the video, he had a very heartfelt message to the people in his church that rocked my world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Segment of Dave\u2019s Sermon]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>But Jenny meets Bill, and they fall in love. So, they get married. Let\u2019s just focus on Bill and Jenny here. What do we have now?\u00a0 We have a blended family\u2014with Ted, Sue, Jack, Pam, and Kyle all connected\u2014sort of, to Bill now and Jenny because they have visitation rights. There are some times when all five of these kids are living with Bill and Jenny now. Isn\u2019t it an interesting deal?\u00a0 Are you following this whole thing?\u00a0 Is it making any sense?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, we have a relationship here between Kathy\u2014who these are her kids\u2014now, sort of has a relationship, all the way over here, because she used to be married to Bill and, sometimes, he gets those kids. Bill has a relationship here. Sometimes, Bill and Jenny have a relationship over here. They need to get Frank over here\u2014when these kids all come over to stay here\u2014sometimes, he\u2019s with those kids. It gets <em>chaotic<\/em>; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve got all kinds of relationships. Then, you\u2019ve got ex-husbands, right here\u2014Jim and Bill\u2014and you\u2019ve got ex-wives\u2014Jenny and Kathy\u2014and it can be <em>really, really<\/em> complicated because all kinds of things are going on when Kyle spends time with Ted. He could influence Ted, even though they are stepbrothers now, and they are sometimes together. It just gets crazy, and you have people and relationships with different people in relationships. <br><br>Let me tell you\u2014when a <em>crisis<\/em> happens to this family, you see all the complexities come out. I was involved in one of these. I walked into a situation where we\u2019ve got the real mom with real son\u2014then, we\u2019ve got the stepmom in the same room\u2014and the dad fighting with this one and the dad fighting with that one. It got really complicated really quickly. So, what do you do with this?\u2014because this is the reality for many, many families. I believe God has an answer and wants to speak into this chaos of the blended family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, there you go\u2014it gets complex. There are all these different relationships going on. I almost drew a football plan in the middle of that thing; but I mean\u2014it was just crazy. In fact, it gets so crazy\u2014I couldn\u2019t remember who I wrote on the board. Wow!\u00a0 This is not the nuclear family. Can God work in that?\u00a0 Oh, of course, He can\u2014but it\u2019s a different world for a divorced family, or a broken family, or a blended family than it is for the nuclear family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut here\u2019s the first thing I think I need to say on behalf of myself and Kensington to divorced families and blended families\u2014two words\u2014\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry if you have felt \u201cless than\u201d at Kensington because you are divorced or blended. I think you need to hear that from us because\u2014I don\u2019t know what you\u2019ve felt here\u2014but if you have felt like your different or you\u2019re not as good as the nuclear perfect, little, biological family\u2014that everybody here is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014which we aren\u2019t, obviously\u2014but if you\u2019ve ever felt judged or \u201cless than\u201d\u2014would be the best way I can say it\u2014at this church: \u201cShame on us! \/ Shame on me!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod loves you and has a plan for your life, just like He does for my life or any other nuclear family. He absolutely is with you and loves you. If you\u2019ve ever felt like you walk in here and there is sort of like a scarlet \u201cD\u201d on your forehead or a scarlet \u201cB\u201d for blended, that is <em>not<\/em> God\u2019s heart at all. God is with you \/ God loves you. God has a plan for you. God can restore you. You have a home here. Do you understand me?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just needed to start there\u2014to say, \u201cI am sorry.\u201d\u00a0 If we\u2014or any leadership, or anybody in this church, any small group leader \/ anybody has ever made you feel \u201cless than\u201d because of the brokenness of your life \/ and your marriage vows being broken and you couldn\u2019t\u2014God forbid us from ever making you feel that way. That is <em>not<\/em> the heart of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I just wanted to start there to say, \u201cI am sorry if you\u2019ve ever felt that.\u201d\u00a0 I want to make sure, as a leader here, that isn\u2019t what you <em>feel<\/em> from us or from the heart of God because that is <em>not<\/em> His heart at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Summit Interview]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I was watching the folks, here, as you were doing that. I was watching them nod a lot as you were talking\u2014I thought some of these folks were going to cry. What happened there when you did that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>They cried. I mean, I started to tear\u2014I haven\u2019t watched it since the day I did it. I was that kid\u2014my family divorced when I was seven years old. I always felt, as a child in the church, \u201cless than\u201d\u2014judged. My mom was always pushed to the side because all of the families at church were perfect, and we were very imperfect\u2014you know\u2014alcoholic dad, alcoholic mother trying to find God, trying to do the right thing. I always felt \u201cless than.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But I tell you what\u2014I\u2019ve been a pastor at that church for 24 years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and I\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> said that. It never hit me to that\u2014until I read your material \/ until we decided to do that weekend on the blended\u2014I <em>made<\/em> us do that weekend. The series was going a different place; and I said, \u201cWe have to have\u201d\u2014it was a six-week series\u2014\u201cWe have to have a week where we can speak to the divorced family \/ to the blended family.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet, as I started to put the material together\u2014really reading that great material from Ron\u2014God got hold of my heart. He\u2019s like, \u201cYou have <em>never<\/em> said to the people what you felt all those years, and you know they felt the same thing from your own church.\u201d And I just\u2014it hit me. I mean, I did that four or five times that weekend\u2014in the different services. Every time\u2014I mean, watching it now, I got emotional again. It\u2019s like: \u201cThat <em>needs<\/em> to be said by the church to the blended family, everywhere around the world,\u201d because I bet you every church\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014hasn\u2019t done what I have done; you know. [Applause]\u00a0 So, I had no idea Ron would ever see\u2014I didn\u2019t call him and say, \u201cI did a good thing!\u201d\u2014you know. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe just contacted me later\u2014I don\u2019t even know how he discovered it because God did use it. God used that weekend\u2014He really did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Tell me about the conversations you had with people from the church following that Sunday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave: <\/strong>The first conversations were \u201cThank you.\u201d\u00a0 I had a guy\u2014I played guitar in the band that weekend. Before I could leave the stage\u2014and usually you meet them down on the floor\u2014this guy <em>ran<\/em> up on the stage. I was putting my guitar on the stand, and he said: \u201cI\u2019ve been at this church 15 years. I\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> heard you say that. Thank you!\u201d\u00a0 And he gives me a big hug. He goes: \u201cI\u2019m that guy! I was ready to leave this place, and I think you meant it.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 What he meant by that, obviously, is \u201cWill you follow through?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>And that was, then, the next step: \u201cWill we have workshops?\u00a0 Will we have small groups?\u00a0 Will we wrap our arms and embrace the blended and help them?\u201d\u00a0 And we\u2019ve tried our best to do that, and we are doing that. And there are hundreds now of those groups on our campuses, just in our little church, to say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe don\u2019t want to just say it because everybody says it,\u201d\u2014and any preacher can say it. \u201cWe want to be God\u2019s hands and feet to help you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did I hear you right that there were 600-plus churches in the Detroit area\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014talking about blendeds that weekend?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, I think that, when I was up there, doing that\u2014650 churches just in Detroit were speaking the same thing in some form. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That was remarkable to see God work, and it was really powerful. We called that weekend\u2014the whole series is called <em>Home Remodeled<\/em>. It was sort of the vision of a house being rebuilt. We had the kids\u2019 room, and we did a week on the kids. You know, the bedroom\u2014we did a week on sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we had this last one called \u201cHouse for Sale\u201d because nobody ever thinks, when they get married, they are ever going to put a \u201cFor Sale\u201d sign in the front yard; and I experienced that as a kid. I remember that was <em>such<\/em> a depressed moment in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>So, that was what that day was about \u201cWhat happens when this happens?\u201d\u2014and 50 percent of our churches are blended or divorced. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And why are we not loving them, and talking to them, and helping them?\u2014because they feel like we always help the family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Can we get an \u201cAmen\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014but we don\u2019t understand. Yes. [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you said that, after the service, you were doing something somewhere else. What did you do, following the sermon?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean\u2014we have a champion \/ really a whole group of champions of the blended, really\u2014using <em>The Smart Family<\/em> material; you know?\u00a0 And they have started a revival ministry, just in our church\u2014of champions, at each campus, that say, \u201cI will lead this initiative at our campus.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>There had to be some who were nervous with the idea of addressing this issue because, in the back of people\u2019s minds,\u2014you know, this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014there is this thought that we\u2019re going to find somebody in a troubled first marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and they\u2019re going to hear the message: \u201cGo ahead and get a divorce and find somebody new. It\u2019ll be better.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you get any pushback from people saying, \u201cWe can\u2019t talk about this\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>The first pushback was our team\/our staff. They said, \u201cDo not do the weekend.\u201d\u00a0 I never told you that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t know that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I had to fight for it. They were like, \u201cNo, we don\u2019t need to do that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201cYou can\u2019t use the whole weekend for the divorced, and the broken, and the blended.\u201d\u00a0 Then, after we did it, it was the opposite. When people saw it, then, there was a response that was like: \u201cOh my gosh\u2014that is the heart of God,\u201d because we\u2019re all broken. It\u2019s in your book\u2014I mean, is there a functional family in the Bible?\u2014not really!\u00a0 The ideals are there, but the reality is a different place. That\u2019s where we live. So, all we were doing was saying: \u201cWe know where we live. The complexity is beyond our means. How can we help?\u201d\u00a0 So, we just said: \u201cGod wants us to help you. God wants to restore you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can tell you there were some real miracle stories of blended families that never got any help\u2014that, as a result of the weekend \/ came to the workshop\u2014realized: \u201cI am accepted here \/ I am loved here, and I can move forward to restoration here. I\u2019m part of a church that is going to help us do that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Can you think of one\u2014a story that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, I mean, I can tell you multiples. A guy that I know very well\u2014known him for a long time\u2014was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they were at wits\u2019 end\u2014it wasn\u2019t working. It was never going to work, and I didn\u2019t know what to say to him until I read your material. I never understood the kid part\u2014even the \u201cIt takes seven years to blend.\u201d\u00a0 All that kind of stuff was new to me! So, I\u2019m reading this; and all I offered them was a little bit of wisdom. I sent them to Nino and Sid, who walked the journey with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut they were going to leave because they were attaching to their insiders \/ their kids\u2014and the outsiders \/ the other kids were\u2014so, they basically both said: \u201cI\u2019m going to stay with my kids because they\u2019ve gone through so much. I need to be more loyal to them than to my new spouse.\u201d\u00a0 We told them that \/ gave them your material\u2014and I\u2019m not here, doing a Ron Deal, \u201cBuy his stuff,\u201d\u2014 but it was like: \u201cOh my gosh, God used that to remind them, \u2018You married each other. Of course, your kids matter; but you\u2019ve got to make this relationship work.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And they did, and they are. Now, they are leading a small group to help others do it. [Applause]\u00a0 So, it\u2019s pretty cool. I could tell you, probably, 20 of those stories\u2014it\u2019s really cool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you were talking to a room-full of pastors, instead of this room, what would you say to the pastors\u2014because these folks may just go home and just say, \u201cLet me tell you what this other pastor said\u201d; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>First thing, I would say is: \u201cYou\u2019re a pastor\u2014you are a pastor.\u201d\u00a0 If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, Ephesians 4 says, \u201cYou\u2019re a pastor.\u201d\u00a0 You are as much a pastor as I am. God has gifted you in probably different and better ways than I am, and God wants to use you to be a pastor to somebody\u2014to shepherd somebody \/ to lead somebody. So, that would be the first thing I\u2019d say\u2014God wants to use <em>you<\/em>. You know this reality better than <em>anybody<\/em>\u2014\u201cGod wants to use <em>your<\/em> gifts and <em>your <\/em>experiences to wrap your arms and good material\u2014to walk the journey with them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I\u2019d also say, \u201cGo back to your pastor and say: \u2018Pastor, wake up!\u00a0 Look at the reality of what\u2019s going around,\u2019\u2014and just say: \u2018Man, these people are not to be <em>judged<\/em>. They need to be loved and understood. They are <em>broken<\/em>, just like you and me,\u201d and figure out a way to create a strategy. The material is out there to say, \u201cWhat can we do to help these people be used by God to then be ministers to other people?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because this is the church today. You can\u2019t say that to your pastor, but I would just encourage them to say, \u201cDo <em>something<\/em>\u2014help.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>What I love about what he just said is the \u201cus\u201d language; right?\u00a0 \u201cIf we don\u2019t partner with the senior pastors of our churches\u2026\u201d \u201cIf we don\u2019t get that \u2018us\u2019 language\u2026\u201d \u201cIf we don\u2019t come together around what can happen in the pulpit, in conjunction with what can happen in small groups, then, we\u2019re just going to continue to kind of just get along.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What did you hear from other\u2014some of the other 650 about what happened at their churches?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I heard pretty much the same thing. Sort of\u2014from the pastors was \u201cI had no idea.\u201d\u00a0 Once you open this topic, they felt the freedom to come and say, \u201cThat\u2019s me,\u201d\u2014not being ashamed anymore\u2014but say: \u201cReally?\u00a0 Is there hope?\u201d\u2014because, you know, the real question for them is: \u201cIs there hope?\u00a0 Is God with me?\u00a0 Will God restore?\u201d\u00a0 And He certainly will; but until somebody says that in leadership, sometimes, they just don\u2019t know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there are <em>thousands<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if not hundreds of thousands\u2014that don\u2019t even come to our churches because, maybe, they did once and they felt that and they just walked away and never came back. So, we need to open that door wide to say, \u201cYou are welcome here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s it. We talk about bridges of grace in our ministry, all the time, where we are trying to constantly communicate bridges of grace to stepfamilies and let them know that they can simply come and that it\u2019s alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You had an interesting experience, this year, in a couple of churches. Share with everybody about these. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I call this \u201cThe Tale of Two Churches\u201d because, to me, it just represents the contrast between what often is and what we want to be. Church one\u2014I went to \/ showed up. It was on the calendar for the church for nine months. Two months before the event, the entire pastoral leadership team at that church planned a staff retreat on the weekend of our stepfamily event. <em>Nobody<\/em> from the staff was even in town. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe very next month, I went to church number two. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe senior pastor was there. The children\u2019s pastor was there. The youth pastor was there. Their recovery ministry coordinators were part of the volunteer team, and they had couples from their stepfamily group that were all part of the volunteer team. I walked into that church\u2014into their fellowship hall. They had a little stage setup for the conference. Above it was their church mission statement: \u201cAttracting outsiders in and building insiders up.\u201d\u00a0 Now, this was their church mission statement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went to the senior pastor and I said: \u201cI cannot tell you how <em>perfect<\/em> that is because that\u2019s what stepfamilies are trying to do\u2014is take outsiders and bring them in\u2014and then, try to build one another up in the stepfamily experience to become family to one another. That is not only your church mission statement\u2014that\u2019s the beautiful mission statement of what we are doing this weekend. It\u2019s so fitting that your entire ministry team is here in support of this event. That just tells me something about your mentality,\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014as a church, toward your church members and your community.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How critical was it for you to have this lay couple in your church step up and be champions and say: \u201cWe will be here to lead this effort. You just tee up the ball, and we\u2019ll run with it\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, I mean the most critical. We feel that about any topic we have\u2014we really believe: \u201cYou\u2019re the ministers,\u201d\u2014\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014the congregation is. So, yes, I knew, as I said\u2014that I was not going to meet with people all week\u2014Nino and Sid and their army were. They were like: \u201cThank you!\u00a0 Thank you for giving us a mission and a mission field!\u201d\u2014because all we did, like you said, was tee it up for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I hear you deputizing all these folks:\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cGo be the Ninos and Sids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s it! \u201cGo and do\u2026\u201d\u2014exactly. [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Would you thank Dave Wilson for being here with us?\u00a0 [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Thank you. We done?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Can you tell there was some enthusiasm in the room?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And if our listener didn\u2019t feel a hand, reach through the radio, or your computer, or your iPhone and tap you on the shoulder [Tapping sound]: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThis may be <em>you<\/em>. <em>You<\/em> may be supposed to start this ministry in your local church. Or maybe, you should just help start a marriage and family ministry in your church.\u201d\u00a0 <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is a great way to do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut blended family is also a great way to reach out to a group of folks who will just soak it in because they are <em>thirsty<\/em> and <em>hungry<\/em> for what the Bible has to say about the place that they are in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and we\u2019re working hard to develop resources that anyone can use to help other folks\u2014whether it\u2019s <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>, either the small group study that you can go through in a small-group setting or an event kit so that you can host an event at your church. There is <em>The Smart Stepfamily <\/em>DVD series that Ron Deal has put together that has been used in a lot of churches to help start a blended family ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d you\u2019ll see information about the resources that we have available to help you start a marriage ministry or a blended family ministry in your local church. When we talk about you starting it, we\u2019re thinking: \u201cEverybody listening\u2014you could do this.\u201d\u00a0 You could go to your pastor or to the leaders at your church and say: \u201cWe want to help. We\u2019ll facilitate this. We\u2019ll host it in our home.\u201d\u00a0 Rather than going to your pastor and saying, \u201cWill the church do this?\u201d go to your pastor and say, \u201cWe\u2019d like to help make this happen.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to mention the Blended and Blessed<sup>\u2122<\/sup> Summit that\u2019s coming up in Southern California this fall\u2014if you are involved in blended ministry or if you think this is an area that you need to pursue in your local church, we\u2019re gathering together with hundreds of like-minded folks, from all across the country, coming out to Southern California in the fall for our third annual event around how to minister effectively to stepfamilies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get more information about the upcoming Blended and Blessed Summit. Again, it\u2019s on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the \u201cGO DEEPER\u201d button and look for the link, and the information you need is available right there. Or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Now, as always, we want you to know how grateful we are to those of you who are partners with us in the mission of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014those of you who share our burden to see practical biblical help delivered to couples and to families, day in and day out. Our desire is to see every home a godly home. So, we\u2019re seeking to effectively develop godly families because we believe godly families can change the world, one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for those of you who make this ministry possible through your financial support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, more than 65 percent of what it takes to operate this ministry is paid for by donations from folks, just like you. When you help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, that\u2019s where your money goes\u2014directly to the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program and the other outreaches that are a part of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a set of Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. It\u2019s a tool that we\u2019ve developed to help parents or grandparents share the Easter story with their preschool or early elementary-aged kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s our gift to you when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click in the upper right-hand corner of the screen, where it says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d Make an online donation, and we\u2019ll send you the Resurrection Eggs. Or you can request your set of Resurrection Eggs when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone. Or request the eggs when you write to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and make a donation. Our mailing address is PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend this weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in church. And we hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about how, as parents, we can do a better job of making the celebration of Jesus\u2019 resurrection a little more front-and-center in our homes during the Easter season. Barbara Rainey is going to join us with some thoughts on that. Hope you can be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303419","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303419"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303419"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303419"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303419"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303419"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303419"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303419"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}