{"id":303407,"date":"2015-03-05T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-03-05T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-he-must-be\/"},"modified":"2015-03-05T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-03-05T17:00:00","slug":"what-he-must-be","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-he-must-be\/","title":{"rendered":"What He Must Be"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Phillip Holmes was interested in Jasmine Baucham. But before he could pursue her, he had to go through her dad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-05.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.02M","filesize_raw":"25185410","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2814],"tags":[4189,4421,5615],"podcast_series":[8068],"cwp_profile":[9377,9378,8805],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303407","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-releasing-your-child","tag-courtship","tag-raising-girls","tag-what-does-courtship-look-like","podcast_series-premarital-mentoring","cwp_profile-bridget-baucham","cwp_profile-phillip-and-jasmine-holmes","cwp_profile-voddie-baucham","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303407\/what-he-must-be","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303407\/what-he-must-be","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"AeSbQhCKrE\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-he-must-be\/\">What He Must Be<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-he-must-be\/embed\/#?secret=AeSbQhCKrE\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What He Must Be&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"AeSbQhCKrE\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-05.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-05.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What kind of involvement should a mom or a dad have with a son or daughter who\u2019s considering marriage?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A bunch. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re going to hear, today, from Voddie Baucham. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>In the wedding ceremony, there is still the question, \u201cWho gives this woman to be married?\u201d\u00a0 Implied in that question is: \u201cThere is someone in the room who\u2014number one\u2014has the responsibility and the duty to investigate this man and vet this man and\u2014number two\u2014they\u2019ve done it.\u201d\u00a0 As a result of having vetted this man, they are willing to say, in front of everybody: \u201cHe has been tested, and he passed the test. I trust him with my daughter.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. How can you make sure, when you get to your part in the wedding ceremony, as a dad, you\u2019ve done what you\u2019ve needed to do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll hear from Voddie Baucham today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. We had the opportunity, just a few weeks back, to be with about a thousand couples for a week\u2014it was a great week. We were onboard a cruise ship. We went to Key West, and we went to Cozumel. I\u2019ll tell you two things, Dennis\u2014first of all, to have the whole ship and it\u2019s your group\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ll tell you\u2014once you\u2019ve been on a cruise, like FamilyLife hosts, you\u2019ll never want to be on a cruise where you don\u2019t have the whole ship\u2014where all are on the same mission \/ headed in the same direction, for the most part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it just changes the whole flavor and tenor of the boat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and not only that\u2014but, when you\u2019ve got morning times and evening times, where you are being built into \/ where you are hearing from great speakers\u2014then, you get done with that\u2014and you\u2019ve got concerts or you\u2019ve got comedians. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really is a refreshing, relaxing, renewing week for married couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is, and you\u2019re going to laugh a lot. You\u2019re going to hear some great musicians \/ some great teaching. And Bob, as we\u2019re going to hear today, on the broadcast\u2014you can just imagine going on a vacation and being equipped, as a father, to truly prepare your daughter and the young man who marries her for marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, we are going to listen to Part Two of a conversation recorded onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage cruise a couple of weeks ago. Voddie Baucham and his wife Bridget sat down with their son-in-law, Phillip Holmes, and their daughter, Jasmine, who is now Mrs. Holmes. They got married back in October. They shared the story of how Jasmine went from being single, to meeting Phillip, to the two of them beginning to cultivate a relationship that ultimately led to marriage. As you\u2019ll hear today, it wasn\u2019t just a simple operation where Phillip said, \u201cMay I have your daughter\u2019s hand?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, no, no. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, this young man had to be courageous. Here\u2019s what I want listeners to hear, though\u2014I think the culture is robbing dads of one of the greatest \/ most holy privileges\u2014when asked the question, in the wedding ceremony, \u201cWho gives this woman to be married to this man?\u201d The father grabs the hand and gently places that hand in the hand of a young man, who is going to love her for the rest of his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Voddie Baucham outlines here\u2014this is golden. This is really good stuff because men aren\u2019t learning this today, Bob. This is what <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is all about. I just want to give a shout-out, right now, to Legacy Partners who make this broadcast available. Thank you for your standing with us so we can present the truth about marriage and family, as the Bible presents it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We had a number of Legacy Partners who joined us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise this year. We\u2019d love to have any of you, listening, join us next year. We\u2019re going to be going out Valentine\u2019s week again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis time headed to Jamaica and Grand Cayman. The cruise is one day longer in 2016. Again, it\u2019s Valentine\u2019s week; and the ship is about half-full right now. So, if you are interested in joining us, this is a good week to sign up. I\u2019ve asked our team if we could arrange for a little special incentive. They told me that this week they are making the staterooms available at the lowest price that they\u2019ll make available all year long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you\u2019d like to find out how you can join us on the cruise, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll see the icon for the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise right there. You can get more information online or sign up for the cruise online. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let\u2019s listen in as we hear Voddie Baucham explain\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014how a young man goes to marriage preparation boot camp\u2014eight weeks. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m telling you\u2014Camp Pendleton doesn\u2019t have anything on this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>In order to be a husband, you have basically four jobs \/ four roles\u2014that of priest, prophet, provider, and protector. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, Phillip contacts me\u2014tells me that he\u2019s interested. For the next eight weeks, Phillip and I talked for a couple of times a week. We spent two weeks basically going through each of these four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d to see where Phillip was in terms of his ability to stand in the gap in those roles because, as a father, here\u2019s my understanding\u2014it is my job to be priest, prophet, provider, and protector in Jasmine\u2019s life. If I was going to hand that over to another man, and he wasn\u2019t able to do those jobs, that meant I was <em>failing<\/em> in those jobs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, he had to be prepared, and willing, and ready to step into those roles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe spent eight weeks going through that. After a while\u2014because of the way the relationship developed with me and with Phillip\u2014Jasmine and Bridget started going: \u201cYes, I don\u2019t think you are vetting this guy. I think you just want him for yourself. You just\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bridget: <\/strong>It was a bro-mance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>\u201cYou\u2019ve got a bro-mance going\u201d; you know? \u201cIs Jasmine ever going to be able to\u2026\u201d \/ \u201cWhat are we doing here?\u201d\u00a0 And it did\u2014it was a mentoring \/ it was a discipleship. It was the building and deepening of a relationship. It was establishing trust; and all the while, coming back and having conversations\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>I was just thinking\u2014piggy-backing off what you just said\u2014I think that sheds light into the process in regards to our relationship. It wasn\u2019t this big guy, sort of throwing his weight around and saying, \u201cHey, son, this is what you are going to do.\u201d No; but this was\u2014first of all, it was mutually-beneficial\u2014definitely beneficial for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI learned a lot; and it was sort of\u2014like he said \u201ca mentoring.\u201d\u00a0 I felt like I was getting another father, in a sense, because he was counseling me, as an older man, not really bullying me or throwing his weight around. I think that\u2019s the picture that people assume\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>\u2014when they think about our relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. And that can\u2019t work because if I have to dictate\u2014I mean, eventually, he\u2019s going to marry my daughter; and they are going to go off and establish their home. If he\u2019s dependent on me dictating, he\u2019s not going to be able to lead\u2014so, it can\u2019t be that kind of relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m trying to figure out where he is. So, after that, the two of them were allowed to have access to one another\u2014after that eight-week process and, then\u2014Bridget, do you want to\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bridget: <\/strong>I just wanted to say, from a wife\u2019s perspective, Voddie always came back\u2014and we had so many conversations about the process and just kind of helped me understand some things that I wasn\u2019t quite getting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was immense security for me. I know, as women, we crave that security; and we need to know every detail. I mean, he would get off the phone with Phillip: \u201cWhat did he say? Okay, what did you say? Okay\u2026\u201d and that kind of thing, but he was very patient with me. There were things that he told me: \u201cWell, I don\u2019t think\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Say that again, baby\u2014say that again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bridget: <\/strong>You were very patient with me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>I like that. [Laughter]\u00a0 I like that. You all heard that; right?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Recording?\u2014alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bridget: <\/strong>And I think\u2014even for Jasmine, there was just that security that she was going to be protected the entire process. He, also, protected me\u2014there were just things that I didn\u2019t need to know. I mean, he just told me, \u201cBaby, I don\u2019t think you need to know that right now; and maybe, we\u2019ll get to that later.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Voddie: <\/strong>See, my job, at that time, was a little bit difficult because, while this vetting process was going on, there is still a question. During that eight-week process, the answer to Phillip could have been, \u201cNo.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t want these guys to become too invested in Phillip before I\u2019m pretty sure that Phillip is going to get a \u201cYes,\u201d because I don\u2019t want broken hearts in my house because, then, I become the bad guy because Phillip wasn\u2019t the guy. So, there had to be a kind of balance between enough information and not too much information. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s another story about the impatience, but I won\u2019t tell that story. [Laughter]\u00a0 I won\u2019t\u2014yes, I will. [Laughter] So, toward the end, it\u2019s pretty obvious that Phillip is doing well in this. After a while, it\u2019s like: \u201cHe\u2019s going to get the green light. They\u2019re going to have access to one another, and this courtship is going to begin.\u201d\u00a0 Jasmine became just a tad impatient; you know?\u00a0 \u201cHow many more meetings do you have to have?\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s been\u2026\u201d however long\u2014\u201cda, da, da.\u201d\u00a0 I mean\u2014just a tad impatient. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, I had my last meeting with Phillip. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI told him: \u201cWe\u2019re done here. You\u2019ve won me. Now, it\u2019s time for you to go win her.\u201d\u00a0 Phillip texts Jasmine or calls Jasmine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>It was a text message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes, he sent her a text message, \u201cWhen can we talk?\u201d\u00a0 Jasmine <em>runs<\/em> downstairs\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>No, no, I threw the phone\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>a\u2014across the room\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>\u2014and ran downstairs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>She threw the phone across the room, ran downstairs, and she looks at me and goes, \u201cWhat did you do?!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 And I said: \u201cWe\u2019re done. He\u2019s calling you.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not ready!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \u201cWait, you said\u201d\u2014\u201cI don\u2019t care what I said!\u00a0 I\u2019m just not even\u2026\u201d So, there was that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>You were like, \u201cI\u2019m done. [Laughter] We can\u2019t have this conversation.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother story that is great is about\u2014it was after your second visit. Phillip and I got into an argument. I was just like\u2014I was <em>so<\/em> mad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI walked up and said, \u201cDad, Phillip said this; and I said that.\u201d\u00a0 He was like: \u201cFirst of all, you\u2019re wrong. Phillip\u2019s right.\u201d\u00a0 He was like: \u201cSecondly, this was a really arduous process for me. I don\u2019t know if I have another one in me. So, if this doesn\u2019t work\u2026\u201d [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bridget: <\/strong>True story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>True story\u2014true story. So, March 25<sup>th<\/sup>, you guys start this courtship, officially. June 11<sup>th<\/sup>, you\u2019re engaged. October 4<sup>th<\/sup>, you\u2019re married. So, what happens between that March 25<sup>th<\/sup> and June 11<sup>th<\/sup> date\u2014because, at that time, we\u2019re still in this thing together\u2014there is still supervision\u2014there is still input\/follow-up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>We just began to get to know each other like normal human beings. I think a lot of people\u2014yes, again, they have this vision of somebody following us with a shotgun and just making me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014he\u2019s like, \u201cYes,\u201d\u2014just waiting for me to make the wrong move\u2014but we were able to\u2014we weren\u2019t legalistic about that process. We were able to spend time with one another; but, for the most part, it was supervised. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf push came to shove\u2014and there wasn\u2019t an opportunity for someone to be with us and it was reasonable\u2014like running an errand during the daytime or something like that\u2014we were able to do stuff like that. We just continued to get to know each other over the next few months. I think it was like two-and-a-half months that we were in the courtship process from there. Can you think of anything, babe?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>Yes, I mean, like he said\u2014we just talked every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>There was a lot that Jasmine had learned about me and I learned about Jasmine through Pops. From there, it was about me also getting to know her family \/ her getting to know my family and friends\u2014us going around the church community, as well, and allowing them to have access to me and to get to know me\u2014and then, just, basically, dialoguing, back and forth, about very practical things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Phillip: <\/strong>There was a foundation that we knew that was already laid. We did not necessarily not talk about those things, but we wanted to see those things fleshed out\u2014what are those things and those things that we believed were foundational: \u201cWhat does that look like on a day-to-day basis?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>Yes, and I think because of the nature of the process with my dad, he was just really focused in the process. It wasn\u2019t\u2014he was very serious, from the beginning. So, our first conversation\u2014he was like, \u201cOkay, well, I\u2019ll call you back tonight at six.\u201d At 5:59, my phone rings: \u201cHi, how are you doing?\u00a0 How can I pray for you?\u00a0 Okay, then. I\u2019ll call you tomorrow morning at seven.\u201d\u00a0 It was like, \u201cOkay!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>It didn\u2019t stay that way!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>That\u2019s definitely how it started out. You were very mission-minded at first. Then, as we got more relaxed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>The church was involved in this process as well. So, the two of them would spend time around people in our church and in Phillip\u2019s church\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014with a view toward those people having an opportunity to speak into their lives and into this process as well. They wanted as many voices as they could have helping them and guiding them in this process. They wanted to be submitted to as much godly wisdom and counsel as they could be during this process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>Even in the process, I was reminded that I wasn\u2019t in\/in. I was definitely a step closer to marriage\u2014I think that\u2019s key, too\u2014but we weren\u2019t done yet. I remember one time, when that reality was put before me that I wasn\u2019t in\/in. I was like, \u201c[Huffing and puffing] But I thought we had\u2026\u201d [Laughter] Yes; so, it was\u2014it continued to be a process. There was continual oversight. I think that\u2019s important too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember back on a lot of the dates\u2014I now mourn over the way that I dated before\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and just thinking, \u201cDo whatever it takes to get the girl,\u201d\u2014we will fight whoever, whenever, however to get the girl. If it means fighting the parents\u2014and I remember how this courtship process really showed me how vital and how important the parents are\u2014not just in the courtship process\u2014\u2014but also in marriage as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019ve been a huge blessing to us. Now, we are still reaping the benefits of having them be a part of our courtship\u2014even now in our marriage. The fact that they know us\u2014they\u2019re not aggressive \/ he respects my household\u2014but at the same time, when I need help, I know I can go and talk to him and the same goes for her as well. They are able to give us wisdom and biblical counsel and counseling insight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Hope this was helpful for you; yes?\u00a0 [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience member: <\/strong>What involvement, if any, in vetting her\u2014or is that biblical?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes, that was the part of her spending time with his family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe did. She went and spent time with his family and with his church and people in his church. He\u2019s from Mississippi. So, Jasmine went down there. We went, as well, to meet Phillip\u2019s family. Then, Jasmine stayed there with his family for a while with that purpose in mind\u2014for them to get to know her and to be a part of that process as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience member: <\/strong>Did they have contact during the eight weeks?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Did they have contact during the eight weeks that Phillip and I were\u2014no. No, there was no contact between them during that time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience member: <\/strong>But before that, they knew they liked each other?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>But before that, did they know they liked each other?\u00a0 Yes. Yes, that\u2019s why we started that process, at that point\u2014good question. So, Phillip wasn\u2019t the only guy to contact me. There were guys after my daughter; okay. And most times, they would contact me; and Jasmine would say, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I would go back to them and say, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I came up to ask my question on mike here; alright?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to know the circumstances under which you first reached out and held her hand. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>My wife has an amazing memory. So, I\u2019m going to let her tell that story. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>Actually, the first time he visited, he tried to hold my hand. I was like: \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I\u2019m just not ready.\u201d\u00a0 He was like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 He took it really well and, then, I think it was your second visit\u2014yes. It was his second visit, and I think my parents were actually in the room and\u2014because we had been talking for weeks, at this point. They kind of looked at each other; and they were like, \u201cAw,\u201d but that\u2019s it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>Yes. \u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s it. The first time he kissed her was at the altar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that was the next thing I was going to ask. Phillip, did you purpose that intentionally, that you would not kiss her until the wedding kiss?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>No, that wasn\u2019t intentional. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>That one had to be worked for; huh?\u2014that one had to be worked for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was that just because anytime you thought about kissing her, all you could see was Voddie?\u2014or was that\u2014[Laughter]\u2014just going to leave it at that; huh?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Phillip: <\/strong>Exactly. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Voddie, I know a lot of\u2014there are probably some dads, who are thinking, \u201cI wish I\u2019d done this, and I\u2019ve got regret.\u201d\u00a0 What do you say to them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>All we have is today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of things that I wish I had done differently, or that I had known, or this, that, or the other; but all we have is today. No one\u2019s life is without error \/ no one\u2019s life is without failure. I think we need to be reminded of that because, sometimes, we act as though, \u201cWell, I\u2019m no longer in the club of the fathers who haven\u2019t made mistakes; therefore\u2026.\u201d\u00a0 There is no club of fathers who haven\u2019t made mistakes. There is only one Father who hasn\u2019t made mistakes, and His Son died for yours. So, again, we\u2014that\u2019s the first thing we have to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the second thing is\u2014we just have to take what we have and move from this point on. Sometimes, that involves going back and really repenting. One of the things that Jasmine is very familiar with is\u2014her mom and me coming to her and her siblings and saying, \u201cWe blew it, and we\u2019re sorry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe want to ask you to please forgive us.\u201d\u00a0 Sometimes, we have to do that; and that\u2019s okay\u2014it\u2019s actually healthy \/ it\u2019s a good thing. It\u2019s necessary because we do sin against one another and against our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you can\u2019t fix yesterday \/ all you have is today. Yesterday may require some repentance, but we have to move forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And if you have a daughter, who is 22, 23, 24 years old, and she\u2019s not bought in to what dad is suggesting and she\u2019s going, \u201cYou know,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cI\u2019m not going to go along with that.\u201d As a dad, what do you do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes, there is not a whole lot you can do, at that point, because, again, I think, as Jasmine pointed out, this is predicated on some things that come before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Oftentimes, what we end up having to do is go back and just acknowledge what it is that we\u2019ve done, or we haven\u2019t done, and what it is that we\u2019ve lost\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and grieve that loss with them. There are times when God, by His grace, will allow you to move forward, from that point; but again, you can\u2019t redo yesterday. All we have is today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt may be that we come and we acknowledge our failure in that regard; and then, they say to us: \u201cYes; that\u2019s fine, but that\u2019s on you. I\u2019m going to go do my thing.\u201d\u00a0 Then, at that point, we can say: \u201cOkay, but know this\u2014I understand my responsibility now\u2014and I am in this with you if nothing more than just praying for you in this process. I\u2019m asking you\u2014I\u2019m asking you to please open the door, to the degree that you are able to, to allow me to be a part of this and know that I\u2019m here to be a part of this.\u201d\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to what was shared during a morning devotion, just a few weeks ago, onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014Voddie Baucham, and his wife Bridget, and his son-in-law, Phillip Holmes, and his daughter, Jasmine\u2014all talking about how a young couple goes from interested, to engaged, to husband and wife. <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And he\u2019s the only other guy, Bob, that I think I\u2019ve ever heard talk about walking through some really pointed conversations with a young man, who\u2019s about to get your daughter\u2019s hand in marriage, and really giving some instructions to fathers as to how to fulfill your role as being a protector \/ a provider\u2014looking out for the best interest of your daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt occurred on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> cruise, and I want our listeners to know that we\u2019re over 50 percent booked on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. I want to encourage you\u2014if you want to go, you better book your stateroom fast because this will sell out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, all of our previous cruises have sold out. This year, we\u2019re spending an extra day\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we\u2019re going to Jamaica and Grand Cayman. I\u2019ve asked the team if they could put together some kind of special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. So, this week, we are making available staterooms at the lowest cost that will be available throughout the year. If you are interested in signing up today, you\u2019ll get the lowest rate that\u2019s going to be available for the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find the information about the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> cruise there. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com. If you have any questions, you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Just say, \u201cI\u2019m interested in more information about the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise.\u201d We\u2019ll answer any questions you have or make arrangements to get you signed up so you can join us, Valentine\u2019s week, next year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, you\u2019ve got a special event coming up\u2014an anniversary that ends in a zero or a five that you want to celebrate in a special way. We\u2019d love to have you join us. Again, more information is at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019ll hear a special <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> program that was recorded onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise with Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife Mary Beth. We\u2019ll hear a brand-new song from Steven Curtis Chapman as well. So, hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.02M"],"filesize_raw":["25185410"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303407.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303407.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Holmes was interested in Jasmine Baucham. But before he could pursue her, he had to go through her dad.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-03-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What kind of involvement should a mom or a dad have with a son or daughter who\u2019s considering marriage?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A bunch. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re going to hear, today, from Voddie Baucham. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>In the wedding ceremony, there is still the question, \u201cWho gives this woman to be married?\u201d\u00a0 Implied in that question is: \u201cThere is someone in the room who\u2014number one\u2014has the responsibility and the duty to investigate this man and vet this man and\u2014number two\u2014they\u2019ve done it.\u201d\u00a0 As a result of having vetted this man, they are willing to say, in front of everybody: \u201cHe has been tested, and he passed the test. I trust him with my daughter.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. How can you make sure, when you get to your part in the wedding ceremony, as a dad, you\u2019ve done what you\u2019ve needed to do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll hear from Voddie Baucham today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. We had the opportunity, just a few weeks back, to be with about a thousand couples for a week\u2014it was a great week. We were onboard a cruise ship. We went to Key West, and we went to Cozumel. I\u2019ll tell you two things, Dennis\u2014first of all, to have the whole ship and it\u2019s your group\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ll tell you\u2014once you\u2019ve been on a cruise, like FamilyLife hosts, you\u2019ll never want to be on a cruise where you don\u2019t have the whole ship\u2014where all are on the same mission \/ headed in the same direction, for the most part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it just changes the whole flavor and tenor of the boat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and not only that\u2014but, when you\u2019ve got morning times and evening times, where you are being built into \/ where you are hearing from great speakers\u2014then, you get done with that\u2014and you\u2019ve got concerts or you\u2019ve got comedians. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really is a refreshing, relaxing, renewing week for married couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is, and you\u2019re going to laugh a lot. You\u2019re going to hear some great musicians \/ some great teaching. And Bob, as we\u2019re going to hear today, on the broadcast\u2014you can just imagine going on a vacation and being equipped, as a father, to truly prepare your daughter and the young man who marries her for marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, we are going to listen to Part Two of a conversation recorded onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage cruise a couple of weeks ago. Voddie Baucham and his wife Bridget sat down with their son-in-law, Phillip Holmes, and their daughter, Jasmine, who is now Mrs. Holmes. They got married back in October. They shared the story of how Jasmine went from being single, to meeting Phillip, to the two of them beginning to cultivate a relationship that ultimately led to marriage. As you\u2019ll hear today, it wasn\u2019t just a simple operation where Phillip said, \u201cMay I have your daughter\u2019s hand?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, no, no. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, this young man had to be courageous. Here\u2019s what I want listeners to hear, though\u2014I think the culture is robbing dads of one of the greatest \/ most holy privileges\u2014when asked the question, in the wedding ceremony, \u201cWho gives this woman to be married to this man?\u201d The father grabs the hand and gently places that hand in the hand of a young man, who is going to love her for the rest of his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Voddie Baucham outlines here\u2014this is golden. This is really good stuff because men aren\u2019t learning this today, Bob. This is what <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is all about. I just want to give a shout-out, right now, to Legacy Partners who make this broadcast available. Thank you for your standing with us so we can present the truth about marriage and family, as the Bible presents it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We had a number of Legacy Partners who joined us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise this year. We\u2019d love to have any of you, listening, join us next year. We\u2019re going to be going out Valentine\u2019s week again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis time headed to Jamaica and Grand Cayman. The cruise is one day longer in 2016. Again, it\u2019s Valentine\u2019s week; and the ship is about half-full right now. So, if you are interested in joining us, this is a good week to sign up. I\u2019ve asked our team if we could arrange for a little special incentive. They told me that this week they are making the staterooms available at the lowest price that they\u2019ll make available all year long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you\u2019d like to find out how you can join us on the cruise, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll see the icon for the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise right there. You can get more information online or sign up for the cruise online. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let\u2019s listen in as we hear Voddie Baucham explain\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014how a young man goes to marriage preparation boot camp\u2014eight weeks. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m telling you\u2014Camp Pendleton doesn\u2019t have anything on this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>In order to be a husband, you have basically four jobs \/ four roles\u2014that of priest, prophet, provider, and protector. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, Phillip contacts me\u2014tells me that he\u2019s interested. For the next eight weeks, Phillip and I talked for a couple of times a week. We spent two weeks basically going through each of these four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d to see where Phillip was in terms of his ability to stand in the gap in those roles because, as a father, here\u2019s my understanding\u2014it is my job to be priest, prophet, provider, and protector in Jasmine\u2019s life. If I was going to hand that over to another man, and he wasn\u2019t able to do those jobs, that meant I was <em>failing<\/em> in those jobs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, he had to be prepared, and willing, and ready to step into those roles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe spent eight weeks going through that. After a while\u2014because of the way the relationship developed with me and with Phillip\u2014Jasmine and Bridget started going: \u201cYes, I don\u2019t think you are vetting this guy. I think you just want him for yourself. You just\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bridget: <\/strong>It was a bro-mance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>\u201cYou\u2019ve got a bro-mance going\u201d; you know? \u201cIs Jasmine ever going to be able to\u2026\u201d \/ \u201cWhat are we doing here?\u201d\u00a0 And it did\u2014it was a mentoring \/ it was a discipleship. It was the building and deepening of a relationship. It was establishing trust; and all the while, coming back and having conversations\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>I was just thinking\u2014piggy-backing off what you just said\u2014I think that sheds light into the process in regards to our relationship. It wasn\u2019t this big guy, sort of throwing his weight around and saying, \u201cHey, son, this is what you are going to do.\u201d No; but this was\u2014first of all, it was mutually-beneficial\u2014definitely beneficial for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI learned a lot; and it was sort of\u2014like he said \u201ca mentoring.\u201d\u00a0 I felt like I was getting another father, in a sense, because he was counseling me, as an older man, not really bullying me or throwing his weight around. I think that\u2019s the picture that people assume\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>\u2014when they think about our relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. And that can\u2019t work because if I have to dictate\u2014I mean, eventually, he\u2019s going to marry my daughter; and they are going to go off and establish their home. If he\u2019s dependent on me dictating, he\u2019s not going to be able to lead\u2014so, it can\u2019t be that kind of relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m trying to figure out where he is. So, after that, the two of them were allowed to have access to one another\u2014after that eight-week process and, then\u2014Bridget, do you want to\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bridget: <\/strong>I just wanted to say, from a wife\u2019s perspective, Voddie always came back\u2014and we had so many conversations about the process and just kind of helped me understand some things that I wasn\u2019t quite getting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was immense security for me. I know, as women, we crave that security; and we need to know every detail. I mean, he would get off the phone with Phillip: \u201cWhat did he say? Okay, what did you say? Okay\u2026\u201d and that kind of thing, but he was very patient with me. There were things that he told me: \u201cWell, I don\u2019t think\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Say that again, baby\u2014say that again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bridget: <\/strong>You were very patient with me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>I like that. [Laughter]\u00a0 I like that. You all heard that; right?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Recording?\u2014alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bridget: <\/strong>And I think\u2014even for Jasmine, there was just that security that she was going to be protected the entire process. He, also, protected me\u2014there were just things that I didn\u2019t need to know. I mean, he just told me, \u201cBaby, I don\u2019t think you need to know that right now; and maybe, we\u2019ll get to that later.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Voddie: <\/strong>See, my job, at that time, was a little bit difficult because, while this vetting process was going on, there is still a question. During that eight-week process, the answer to Phillip could have been, \u201cNo.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t want these guys to become too invested in Phillip before I\u2019m pretty sure that Phillip is going to get a \u201cYes,\u201d because I don\u2019t want broken hearts in my house because, then, I become the bad guy because Phillip wasn\u2019t the guy. So, there had to be a kind of balance between enough information and not too much information. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s another story about the impatience, but I won\u2019t tell that story. [Laughter]\u00a0 I won\u2019t\u2014yes, I will. [Laughter] So, toward the end, it\u2019s pretty obvious that Phillip is doing well in this. After a while, it\u2019s like: \u201cHe\u2019s going to get the green light. They\u2019re going to have access to one another, and this courtship is going to begin.\u201d\u00a0 Jasmine became just a tad impatient; you know?\u00a0 \u201cHow many more meetings do you have to have?\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s been\u2026\u201d however long\u2014\u201cda, da, da.\u201d\u00a0 I mean\u2014just a tad impatient. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, I had my last meeting with Phillip. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI told him: \u201cWe\u2019re done here. You\u2019ve won me. Now, it\u2019s time for you to go win her.\u201d\u00a0 Phillip texts Jasmine or calls Jasmine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>It was a text message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes, he sent her a text message, \u201cWhen can we talk?\u201d\u00a0 Jasmine <em>runs<\/em> downstairs\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>No, no, I threw the phone\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>a\u2014across the room\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>\u2014and ran downstairs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>She threw the phone across the room, ran downstairs, and she looks at me and goes, \u201cWhat did you do?!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 And I said: \u201cWe\u2019re done. He\u2019s calling you.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not ready!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \u201cWait, you said\u201d\u2014\u201cI don\u2019t care what I said!\u00a0 I\u2019m just not even\u2026\u201d So, there was that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>You were like, \u201cI\u2019m done. [Laughter] We can\u2019t have this conversation.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother story that is great is about\u2014it was after your second visit. Phillip and I got into an argument. I was just like\u2014I was <em>so<\/em> mad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI walked up and said, \u201cDad, Phillip said this; and I said that.\u201d\u00a0 He was like: \u201cFirst of all, you\u2019re wrong. Phillip\u2019s right.\u201d\u00a0 He was like: \u201cSecondly, this was a really arduous process for me. I don\u2019t know if I have another one in me. So, if this doesn\u2019t work\u2026\u201d [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bridget: <\/strong>True story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>True story\u2014true story. So, March 25<sup>th<\/sup>, you guys start this courtship, officially. June 11<sup>th<\/sup>, you\u2019re engaged. October 4<sup>th<\/sup>, you\u2019re married. So, what happens between that March 25<sup>th<\/sup> and June 11<sup>th<\/sup> date\u2014because, at that time, we\u2019re still in this thing together\u2014there is still supervision\u2014there is still input\/follow-up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>We just began to get to know each other like normal human beings. I think a lot of people\u2014yes, again, they have this vision of somebody following us with a shotgun and just making me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014he\u2019s like, \u201cYes,\u201d\u2014just waiting for me to make the wrong move\u2014but we were able to\u2014we weren\u2019t legalistic about that process. We were able to spend time with one another; but, for the most part, it was supervised. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf push came to shove\u2014and there wasn\u2019t an opportunity for someone to be with us and it was reasonable\u2014like running an errand during the daytime or something like that\u2014we were able to do stuff like that. We just continued to get to know each other over the next few months. I think it was like two-and-a-half months that we were in the courtship process from there. Can you think of anything, babe?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>Yes, I mean, like he said\u2014we just talked every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>There was a lot that Jasmine had learned about me and I learned about Jasmine through Pops. From there, it was about me also getting to know her family \/ her getting to know my family and friends\u2014us going around the church community, as well, and allowing them to have access to me and to get to know me\u2014and then, just, basically, dialoguing, back and forth, about very practical things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Phillip: <\/strong>There was a foundation that we knew that was already laid. We did not necessarily not talk about those things, but we wanted to see those things fleshed out\u2014what are those things and those things that we believed were foundational: \u201cWhat does that look like on a day-to-day basis?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>Yes, and I think because of the nature of the process with my dad, he was just really focused in the process. It wasn\u2019t\u2014he was very serious, from the beginning. So, our first conversation\u2014he was like, \u201cOkay, well, I\u2019ll call you back tonight at six.\u201d At 5:59, my phone rings: \u201cHi, how are you doing?\u00a0 How can I pray for you?\u00a0 Okay, then. I\u2019ll call you tomorrow morning at seven.\u201d\u00a0 It was like, \u201cOkay!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>It didn\u2019t stay that way!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>That\u2019s definitely how it started out. You were very mission-minded at first. Then, as we got more relaxed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>The church was involved in this process as well. So, the two of them would spend time around people in our church and in Phillip\u2019s church\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014with a view toward those people having an opportunity to speak into their lives and into this process as well. They wanted as many voices as they could have helping them and guiding them in this process. They wanted to be submitted to as much godly wisdom and counsel as they could be during this process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>Even in the process, I was reminded that I wasn\u2019t in\/in. I was definitely a step closer to marriage\u2014I think that\u2019s key, too\u2014but we weren\u2019t done yet. I remember one time, when that reality was put before me that I wasn\u2019t in\/in. I was like, \u201c[Huffing and puffing] But I thought we had\u2026\u201d [Laughter] Yes; so, it was\u2014it continued to be a process. There was continual oversight. I think that\u2019s important too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember back on a lot of the dates\u2014I now mourn over the way that I dated before\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and just thinking, \u201cDo whatever it takes to get the girl,\u201d\u2014we will fight whoever, whenever, however to get the girl. If it means fighting the parents\u2014and I remember how this courtship process really showed me how vital and how important the parents are\u2014not just in the courtship process\u2014\u2014but also in marriage as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019ve been a huge blessing to us. Now, we are still reaping the benefits of having them be a part of our courtship\u2014even now in our marriage. The fact that they know us\u2014they\u2019re not aggressive \/ he respects my household\u2014but at the same time, when I need help, I know I can go and talk to him and the same goes for her as well. They are able to give us wisdom and biblical counsel and counseling insight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Hope this was helpful for you; yes?\u00a0 [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience member: <\/strong>What involvement, if any, in vetting her\u2014or is that biblical?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes, that was the part of her spending time with his family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe did. She went and spent time with his family and with his church and people in his church. He\u2019s from Mississippi. So, Jasmine went down there. We went, as well, to meet Phillip\u2019s family. Then, Jasmine stayed there with his family for a while with that purpose in mind\u2014for them to get to know her and to be a part of that process as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience member: <\/strong>Did they have contact during the eight weeks?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Did they have contact during the eight weeks that Phillip and I were\u2014no. No, there was no contact between them during that time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience member: <\/strong>But before that, they knew they liked each other?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>But before that, did they know they liked each other?\u00a0 Yes. Yes, that\u2019s why we started that process, at that point\u2014good question. So, Phillip wasn\u2019t the only guy to contact me. There were guys after my daughter; okay. And most times, they would contact me; and Jasmine would say, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I would go back to them and say, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I came up to ask my question on mike here; alright?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to know the circumstances under which you first reached out and held her hand. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>My wife has an amazing memory. So, I\u2019m going to let her tell that story. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>Actually, the first time he visited, he tried to hold my hand. I was like: \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I\u2019m just not ready.\u201d\u00a0 He was like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 He took it really well and, then, I think it was your second visit\u2014yes. It was his second visit, and I think my parents were actually in the room and\u2014because we had been talking for weeks, at this point. They kind of looked at each other; and they were like, \u201cAw,\u201d but that\u2019s it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine: <\/strong>Yes. \u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s it. The first time he kissed her was at the altar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that was the next thing I was going to ask. Phillip, did you purpose that intentionally, that you would not kiss her until the wedding kiss?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phillip: <\/strong>No, that wasn\u2019t intentional. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>That one had to be worked for; huh?\u2014that one had to be worked for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was that just because anytime you thought about kissing her, all you could see was Voddie?\u2014or was that\u2014[Laughter]\u2014just going to leave it at that; huh?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Phillip: <\/strong>Exactly. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Voddie, I know a lot of\u2014there are probably some dads, who are thinking, \u201cI wish I\u2019d done this, and I\u2019ve got regret.\u201d\u00a0 What do you say to them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>All we have is today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of things that I wish I had done differently, or that I had known, or this, that, or the other; but all we have is today. No one\u2019s life is without error \/ no one\u2019s life is without failure. I think we need to be reminded of that because, sometimes, we act as though, \u201cWell, I\u2019m no longer in the club of the fathers who haven\u2019t made mistakes; therefore\u2026.\u201d\u00a0 There is no club of fathers who haven\u2019t made mistakes. There is only one Father who hasn\u2019t made mistakes, and His Son died for yours. So, again, we\u2014that\u2019s the first thing we have to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the second thing is\u2014we just have to take what we have and move from this point on. Sometimes, that involves going back and really repenting. One of the things that Jasmine is very familiar with is\u2014her mom and me coming to her and her siblings and saying, \u201cWe blew it, and we\u2019re sorry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe want to ask you to please forgive us.\u201d\u00a0 Sometimes, we have to do that; and that\u2019s okay\u2014it\u2019s actually healthy \/ it\u2019s a good thing. It\u2019s necessary because we do sin against one another and against our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you can\u2019t fix yesterday \/ all you have is today. Yesterday may require some repentance, but we have to move forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And if you have a daughter, who is 22, 23, 24 years old, and she\u2019s not bought in to what dad is suggesting and she\u2019s going, \u201cYou know,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cI\u2019m not going to go along with that.\u201d As a dad, what do you do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Yes, there is not a whole lot you can do, at that point, because, again, I think, as Jasmine pointed out, this is predicated on some things that come before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie: <\/strong>Oftentimes, what we end up having to do is go back and just acknowledge what it is that we\u2019ve done, or we haven\u2019t done, and what it is that we\u2019ve lost\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and grieve that loss with them. There are times when God, by His grace, will allow you to move forward, from that point; but again, you can\u2019t redo yesterday. All we have is today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt may be that we come and we acknowledge our failure in that regard; and then, they say to us: \u201cYes; that\u2019s fine, but that\u2019s on you. I\u2019m going to go do my thing.\u201d\u00a0 Then, at that point, we can say: \u201cOkay, but know this\u2014I understand my responsibility now\u2014and I am in this with you if nothing more than just praying for you in this process. I\u2019m asking you\u2014I\u2019m asking you to please open the door, to the degree that you are able to, to allow me to be a part of this and know that I\u2019m here to be a part of this.\u201d\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to what was shared during a morning devotion, just a few weeks ago, onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014Voddie Baucham, and his wife Bridget, and his son-in-law, Phillip Holmes, and his daughter, Jasmine\u2014all talking about how a young couple goes from interested, to engaged, to husband and wife. <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And he\u2019s the only other guy, Bob, that I think I\u2019ve ever heard talk about walking through some really pointed conversations with a young man, who\u2019s about to get your daughter\u2019s hand in marriage, and really giving some instructions to fathers as to how to fulfill your role as being a protector \/ a provider\u2014looking out for the best interest of your daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt occurred on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> cruise, and I want our listeners to know that we\u2019re over 50 percent booked on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. I want to encourage you\u2014if you want to go, you better book your stateroom fast because this will sell out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, all of our previous cruises have sold out. This year, we\u2019re spending an extra day\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we\u2019re going to Jamaica and Grand Cayman. I\u2019ve asked the team if they could put together some kind of special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. So, this week, we are making available staterooms at the lowest cost that will be available throughout the year. If you are interested in signing up today, you\u2019ll get the lowest rate that\u2019s going to be available for the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find the information about the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> cruise there. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com. If you have any questions, you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Just say, \u201cI\u2019m interested in more information about the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise.\u201d We\u2019ll answer any questions you have or make arrangements to get you signed up so you can join us, Valentine\u2019s week, next year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, you\u2019ve got a special event coming up\u2014an anniversary that ends in a zero or a five that you want to celebrate in a special way. We\u2019d love to have you join us. Again, more information is at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019ll hear a special <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> program that was recorded onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise with Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife Mary Beth. We\u2019ll hear a brand-new song from Steven Curtis Chapman as well. So, hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303407","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303407"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303407"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303407"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303407"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303407"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303407"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303407"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}