{"id":303371,"date":"2015-02-02T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-02-02T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/fifty-shades-of-deception\/"},"modified":"2015-02-02T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-02-02T17:00:00","slug":"fifty-shades-of-deception","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/fifty-shades-of-deception\/","title":{"rendered":"Fifty Shades of Deception"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why all the hype about Fifty Shades of Grey? With its dark overtones, why are so many Christian women being drawn to it? Here to answer those questions and more are Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-02-02.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"27.49M","filesize_raw":"28822071","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2089,2831],"tags":[5600,5599,5602,5601,2320],"podcast_series":[8062],"cwp_profile":[3154,3388],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303371","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-media-and-entertainment","category-wives","tag-emotional-infidelity","tag-erotica","tag-evil","tag-porn-for-women","tag-purity","podcast_series-pulling-back-the-shades","cwp_profile-dannah-gresh","cwp_profile-juli-slattery","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303371\/fifty-shades-of-deception","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303371\/fifty-shades-of-deception","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"FBQlPK2EDh\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/fifty-shades-of-deception\/\">Fifty Shades of Deception<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/fifty-shades-of-deception\/embed\/#?secret=FBQlPK2EDh\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Fifty Shades of Deception&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"FBQlPK2EDh\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-02-02.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-02-02.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have probably heard the buzz about the movie that\u2019s coming out next weekend\u2014the movie that is an adaptation of the book, <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em>\u2014a book that presents a very distorted view of human sexuality and relationships. Dannah Gresh says there is a reason why so many women\u2014including Christian women\u2014are being seduced by a story like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah: <\/strong>We live in a culture that is very fueled by feminist mentality and strong women. I\u2019m not offended by strong women\u2014I think I am one. Ask my husband\u2014he\u2019ll tell you. In a culture where you best not talk about biblical submission, when a counterfeit shows up\u2014as vile as the character is in <em>Fifty Shades of Grey <\/em>\/ as messed up as he is\u2014women, who are <em>starved<\/em> for men of strength, will fall for that counterfeit because they are thirsty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, February 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to pull back the curtain on the <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> phenomenon today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You almost wish we didn\u2019t have to talk about this; don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, I do. I was grieved, actually, as I was doing studio preparation. I was thinking, \u201cWhat a tragedy in our culture\u2014that we have to talk about what is the equivalent, for women, of pornography.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have to tell you\u2014I will never forget a plane flight I was on. It was a Little Rock to Dallas leg of the flight. I was seated next to a woman, who was probably ten years younger than me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOut of her purse came the book, <em>Fifty Shades of Grey.<\/em> For an hour, I sat next to a woman who was reading this book. It was just uncomfortable to sit there, going, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on in your head as you\u2019re reading this book?\u201d It was kind of creeping me out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The unfortunate thing is that book has now gone on to sell\u2014or the books\u2014over 70 million\u2014is that right, ladies?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s up to over a 100 million now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And with the movie about to come out, we can expect that it\u2019s going to sell even more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Even more. We\u2019re joined on the broadcast today by Dr. Juli Slattery and Dannah Gresh. Dannah\/Juli\u2014 welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> It\u2019s great to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, it\u2019s good to have you. I\u2019m glad\u2014well, I\u2019m not glad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes, we feel the same way. We\u2019ve grieved our way through the writing of this book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, but someone has to speak out about it. You guys have done a great job on a book called <em>Pulling Back the Shades<\/em>. Juli, you\u2019re a mom\u2014you have three. You and your husband, Mike, have been married for 18 years. Dannah, you have three children as well. You and Bob have a happy marriage. So, here you are as wives, being forced into a discussion and a dialogue around what is a trap. You ran across this trap when it first came out, Dannah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes, and I didn\u2019t\u2014I refused to actually write about it. My husband said: \u201cHoney, there\u2019s this book. Have you heard of it?\u2014<em>Fifty Shades of Grey.<\/em>\u201d I hadn\u2019t. He said: \u201cWell, there\u2019s a viral <em>Saturday Night Live<\/em> spoof that\u2019s all over Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. I think you should see it.\u201d I watched, and it was horrible. I snapped the laptop shut and said, \u201cChristian women will never fall for that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd everywhere I went, Christian women <em>were reading<\/em> it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr my best friend\u2019s <em>mom<\/em> had her name on a list at the library to take it out as a loan. I said, \u201cYour mom is a godly woman.\u201d She said: \u201cI know. She has no idea what the book\u2019s about. She\u2019s just heard that everyone is reading it so she wants to read it too.\u201d That\u2019s when I knew I needed to speak up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, you ended up writing a piece for <em>MomLife Today<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>, which is FamilyLife\u2019s\u2014well, it really keeps in touch with moms and current issues they are dealing with. What was the response to that blog?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> So furious and so supportive, all at the same time. The title was <em>\u201c<\/em>I\u2019m Not Reading <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em>.\u201d I went on to outline the reasons I felt that I shouldn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to put a link on our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, so listeners can take a look at that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJuli, how did you run across this book, and what was your response?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Well, I had just started a new ministry for women, with Linda Dillow, on the issue of intimacy called <em>Authentic Intimacy.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were teaching women about sexuality, from God\u2019s perspective, and helping them deal with all kinds of issues. So, this naturally came up on our radar when it started to hit the news. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI, like Dannah, thought, \u201cWell, this is just one of those things that we grieve for a short period of time and then we move on\u201d; but also realized, as Dannah did, that this is <em>not going away<\/em>. It\u2019s not just a worldly phenomenon \/ we were hearing from women, as well, who were asking us questions about it: \u201cA friend from church gave me this book. Is there anything wrong with it?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe became more aware that this was a cultural movement that was impacting people\u2014women from all walks and really all faiths. There really became this need to begin speaking out and teaching women about discernment when it comes to what they\u2019re reading, and what they\u2019re thinking about, and sexual things\u2014just the same way as men need to be aware of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dannah, you still have not read the <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> books; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> I have not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Juli, you\u2019ve read them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> I have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And the decision to read them was in preparation for what you wanted to write about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Absolutely; yes. When we decided to write the book, we knew that one of us needed to know what was in the books. Dannah had made a very public stand and felt convicted that she shouldn\u2019t read them. I prayed about it and felt that I needed to read them. So, I did so with fear and trembling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Read all of them\u2014cover to cover?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> I did, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was there a point, in the middle of it, where you thought, \u201cI should not be reading this stuff\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Well, I really went into reading them, knowing what I was getting myself into, and had people praying for me\u2014and asked the Lord, \u201cShow me how to read these books in such a way that it\u2019s not going to defile me.\u201d The Lord showed me to read them on my knees because that\u2019s the posture of prayer that I am frequently in when I\u2019m seeking God. Reading them in that physical posture of prayer and also being quite uncomfortable\u2014when you\u2019re on your knees hour after hour\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I think helped a lot to remind me, through the moments, why I was reading. I\u2019m not going to say that it didn\u2019t still impact me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re a clinical psychologist; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not like you come at these without some kind of clinical experience\u2014having seen the impact of pornography and erotica on women before and, perhaps, even some men in your counseling. Did that help you in terms of kind of giving a category for what you were wading off into?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> It helped me a little bit, but I\u2019m going to say\u2014as my walk with the Lord has gotten deeper, I\u2019m more a follower of Christ than a clinical psychologist. So, in approaching <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> in our book, <em>Pulling Back the Shades,<\/em> I was really more aware of the spiritual battle. The psychology is definitely there\u2014what it does to our brain chemistry \/ how it impacts relationships\u2014it\u2019s there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the stronger argument and the stronger awareness for me was the spiritual battle of good and evil that is playing out in our world when it comes to sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What is the lure here?\u2014because I\u2019ve talked to people who have said, \u201cThese are not particularly well-written books.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s not like anybody is reading this, going, \u201cThis is amazing literature!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> \u201cGreat writing!\u201d\u2014yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Well, that was the first question Juli and I wanted to answer. We wanted to ask the Lord and these women, \u201cWhat made you read it?\u201d My job was to interview women who had read it\u2014I interviewed deaconesses; I interviewed pastor\u2019s wives; I interviewed children. The youngest girl that we worked with had started to read erotica when she was nine years old on the internet. The question was: \u201cWhat is drawing them in?\u201d So I went into the stories. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor example, one of the deaconesses\u2014her husband was an elder in the church. He was a very successful businessman. Suddenly, she\u2014formerly, a very successful business woman\u2014found herself at home with babies. She was lonely. The reality of diapers, and dinner, and grocery shopping, and all the things that encompass everyday living, when you\u2019re a stay-at-home mom, had overtaken her. Her desire was two-fold\u2014to escape the reality of mundane living and to wake up her sex life because she just felt dead\u2014that was her breaking point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You all list out what you call \u201cFive Longings that Women Have.\u201d I think those are helpful to understand what it is that is the lure\u2014back to your question, Bob: \u201cWhy are women taking the bait?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes. I think it\u2019s really important to highlight these longings because there is nothing wrong in the longings. The longings that women have are God-given longings; but Satan comes along and presents a shortcut and says, \u201cYou can get what you need this way instead of the holy way.\u201d So we did identify\u2014individually, Dannah and I just stumbled upon these five longings\u2014as she was interviewing women and as I was reading the books.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> They just happened to match. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So the five are?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> The first is to escape reality. Women want some kind of fantasy to take them out of just dull life. The second one is to be cherished by a man. The third one is to be protected by a strong man. The fourth\u2014to rescue a man; and the fifth is to be sexually alive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> The story I just shared\u2014that women had two of those factors in her life. Juli was seeing that this book made the promise of those things. So, we brought those two things together\u2014what I was hearing from women and what Juli was sensing in the book. We realized that these are the five things that are drawing them in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, Juli, as you\u2019re reading through these books, are you finding yourself attracted to the stories? Are you being seduced by what\u2019s in the books as you read it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> For sure; yes. There is sugar in it\u2014there\u2019s something that draws us. I\u2019m a woman\u2014I\u2019m not just a psychologist. I have longings. Some of these longings\u2014I would say that the church hasn\u2019t done a great job of talking about, and validating, and fleshing out for people how you actually get those needs met. The world is doing a better job of painting the picture. So, for sure, I thought, \u201cEven though the books were not greatly written, they were <em>masterfully<\/em> manipulating women in terms of what their heart longs for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s talk about that for a moment. I don\u2019t want to talk so much about the building of the church; but I want to break it down to the smallest component of the church, which is a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow should a mom and dad, who are raising daughters today, be thinking about a young lady, who is growing up in this culture, who has these longings? How should they be equipping their daughters to know how to identify, first of all, and then, secondly, deal with those longings, biblically, the way God would have them do it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> That\u2019s the million dollar question\u2014so we\u2019ll take a while to unpack that. Some of it, I think, starts with viewing sexuality as something much greater than sex. In our culture, we\u2019ve taken one aspect of sexuality, which is sexually acting out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> The physical\u2014just the physical.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, and separated it <em>completely<\/em> from who God is, and what His design is, and what a woman longs for\u2014how she wants to be cherished and protected. We\u2019ve let the world just talk about the physical part. We\u2019ve kind of cut it off from all other forms of discipleship that we do with our kids. We haven\u2019t integrated it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know you, at FamilyLife, have done a great job with some of the resources\u2014like <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014to help integrate it. And Dannah, your ministry does a wonderful job, as well, of teaching parents. This is kind of a new term I\u2019ve been thinking about: \u201cWhat does sexual discipleship look like? How do we integrate sexuality into the discipleship of our kids?\u201d So that\u2019s the broader picture. And then there\u2019s a lot when it comes to unpacking that and walking it out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s no mistake that the book of beginnings, the Book of Genesis\u2014the first book in the Bible\u2014among the first verses of the book describe God creating man in His own image\u2014Genesis 1:27. It says \u201cIn the image of God He created them, male and female, He created them.\u201d Human sexuality was a part of the imprint of who God was from the very beginning, and He didn\u2019t stutter. He made it real clear\u2014there are two sexes: male and female. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs parents, we have to make sure we embrace the obvious and engage our children around these issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Don\u2019t you think it\u2019s interesting that\u2014when He says \u201cIn the image of God He created them; male and female He created them,\u201d\u2014that those two sentences encapsulate the fact that we look like God. All of the proficiencies that we have\u2014our language proficiencies, our creative proficiencies to write sonnets and create works of beautiful art, the ability to defy gravity and fly to the moon\u2014that God doesn\u2019t speak to those proficiencies. He speaks to <em>gender <\/em>when He says \u201cThis is what makes you in My image.\u201d That\u2019s <em>cataclysmic<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s <em>huge<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And yet, Dannah, we have, for a lot of years, said to young people: \u201cSex\u2014bad. Sex\u2014stay away from this. Sex is going to hurt you. It\u2019s going to harm you. Just say, \u2018No,\u2019 to all of these things.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes. It\u2019s such an incomplete message.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is. What you\u2019re saying, \u201cEven with these longings,\u201d\u2014you\u2019re saying\u2014\u201cthese are good longings. These are God-given longings.\u201d It\u2019s just, when you go after a counterfeit solution to try to achieve the longings, that\u2019s when you\u2019re headed into a dangerous spot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, and let\u2019s go to one other one real quickly here. Let\u2019s talk about a woman\u2019s desire to be cherished by a man. What have you ladies tried to teach your daughters about how she should be cherished?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Well, I have to say, right out of the gate, I have three sons. So, I haven\u2019t had the privilege of walking with a daughter through this. I\u2019m teaching my boys, on the other end of it. Dannah, you have two girls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes. I think the thing that comes to my mind immediately is just that my children have seen Bob cherish me. They have seen him set aside his life to love me, and serve me, and spoil me. I don\u2019t think there has been a night in 25 years of marriage that he hasn\u2019t said, in front of the kids, \u201cYour mom is a good cook!\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust these little things; you know? I think that what we can\u2019t forget is that what they see at home is what they catch. If we love Jesus, and they see that that is real, they want Jesus. If we love our spouse, and they see that that\u2019s real, they want to model that in the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Back to the <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> book\u2014because there are a lot of people who say, \u201cThat\u2019s why I liked it\u2014because I saw a man cherishing a woman.\u201d I presume that\u2019s in there\u2014I don\u2019t know. \u201cI saw these things\u2014that are the longings being fulfilled\u2014so what\u2019s wrong with that?\u201d What\u2019s wrong with it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> If I might just interject, before I answer that question\u2014my pet peeve or my soapbox in these longings is to be protected by a <em>strong <\/em>man. We live in a culture that is very fueled by feminist mentality and strong women. I\u2019m not offended by strong women\u2014I think I am one. Ask my husband\u2014he\u2019ll tell you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara Walters read the book. On <em>The View<\/em>, she said to the panel, \u201cYou know, I think that we\u2019re reading it because we\u2019re so tired of being strong women all day that, at night, we just want the man to be in charge.\u201d Suddenly, words like \u201csubmission\u201d and \u201cmaster\u201d and \u201cobedience\u201d are <em>sexy<\/em> in a culture where you best not talk about biblical submission. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy?\u2014because we have slaughtered the strong man in our society. We are women who are <em>starved <\/em>for men of strength. So, when a counterfeit shows up\u2014as vile as the character is in <em>Fifty Shades of Grey <\/em>\/ as messed up as he is\u2014his whips and chains makes him strong\u2014and women will fall for that counterfeit because they are <em>thirsty<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you would say, I presume, Dannah, that somebody\u2014who is not interested in the book \/ not going to go see the movie\u2014do they need to read your book? Because I\u2019d be a little bit concerned they\u2019d read your book and that might make them curious for what\u2019s in <em>Fifty Shades.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Well, I hope that is not the case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope that we have shown them where they can get those realities met in Christ. One of the things that we prayed very fervently for is that women\u2014who have read <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> and women who have not read it\u2014will choose to pick up our book. The real culmination in that prayer was\u2014we were in Colorado Springs\u2014Juli and I had gotten together to work on the book in her home. That morning, we sat down to start our time together in prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI began to just pray some passages that I had read in Nehemiah that day, which was outside of my reading plan, but it\u2019s where God led me. And Juli just stopped me. She said: \u201cNo way; no way; no way! You\u2019re reading Nehemiah? Who reads that?!\u201d because the Lord had directed her to Nehemiah. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe story of Nehemiah is that he wasn\u2019t in the crisis of it\u2014he was <em>called<\/em> to it. He could have stayed in his cushy place of safety, so many miles away from the <em>crisis<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead, he prayed: \u201cLord, break my heart. Let my heart break until I want to be a part of the solution.\u201d We need men and women in the church\u2014who are not <em>enticed<\/em> by pornography \/ who are not <em>enticed<\/em> by erotica\u2014to have their heart broken with how it is ripping the <em>soul<\/em> out of the intimacy of marriage so that we can be a part of rebuilding that wall of integrity in the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would make three quick comments to that. One, if you are a woman, who does pick this up and read it\u2014I would make sure your husband knows or another woman knows that you\u2019re reading this, and that you\u2019re talking about it, and you have the ability to let somebody into your soul as you go through this because this is not\u2014we\u2019re <em>not<\/em> talking about reading <em>Fifty Shades of Grey.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re talking about reading Dannah and Juli\u2019s book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I am. I\u2019m talking about reading that so that person has\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014some accountability.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. Number two\u2014I would say to any teenager: \u201cI wouldn\u2019t read this book without your mom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019d want to make sure you\u2019re connected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> I haven\u2019t allowed my 20-year-old girls to read it yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. I just caution\u2014I just caution there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then\u2014the third group I want to speak to are the men. I hope you have heard a clarion call for the need for strong, courageous men of God, who know how to love, protect, nourish, cherish, care for, lead, guide, love their wives and the women in their lives. Ephesians, Chapter 5, lays it on the line: \u201cHusbands, love your wives\u2026\u201d\u2014how?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> \u201c\u2026as Christ loved the church.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201c\u2026as Christ loved the church.\u201d It\u2019s going to cost you your life; but if you\u2019re not doing that, you may be leaving your wife in a vulnerable position to go looking for some of these longings to be met in the wrong place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I would think, with regard to the book you ladies have written, called <em>Pulling Back the Shades<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if there are women, who are listening, who have\u2014they have read the <em>Fifty Shades<\/em> books and they\u2019re thinking, \u201cMaybe, I should go see that movie. I\u2019m kind of curious. I think I\u2019d like to see it,\u201d\u2014or maybe they know somebody who has either read these books or is involved in pornography and erotica\u2014I\u2019d encourage them: \u201cGet a copy of Dannah and Juli\u2019s book because it really does help you understand why this is the dangerous subject that it is\u2014why it is not just a momentary escape and, as long as you keep your marriage vows and don\u2019t take your sexuality outside of marriage, everything is going to be okay and God doesn\u2019t really care. There is a lot more at stake here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of the book, <em>Pulling Back the Shades<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner that says \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d The information about the book is available right there. You can order from us, online. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you\u2019d like to order. If you have any questions about the book, the number to call: 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know how many of you realize this, but next week is actually National Marriage Week. Throughout social media, we\u2019re going to have some fun activities. We\u2019re going to be suggesting some articles that we want to recommend to you\u2014some ways to build into your marriage. I mention all of that because I know some of you are not friends of ours on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. So, if you\u2019re on Facebook and you have never friended <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> you might want to do that this week because we have a lot coming up next week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re on Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, and you\u2019re not following <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on Twitter, you might go over and follow us today. Then keep an eye open for some of the tweets that come out next week as we celebrate National Marriage Week. I also want to let you know that the month of February is a month in which we are going to be asking many of our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners to consider taking the next step and becoming regular contributors to this ministry by becoming Legacy Partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a small, loyal, faithful group of folks who help underwrite this radio program, month in and month out, with regular contributions to support <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> We\u2019d like you to think about joining that group. We\u2019ll tell you more about it later on in the month. I\u2019d just like you to start thinking now about whether you should join us and become a Legacy Partner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to find out more about what\u2019s involved, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link at the top right-hand corner of the page that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d The information about becoming a Legacy Partner is available right there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019d like to know more about becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d We\u2019ll answer any questions you might have and tell you a little bit more about what\u2019s involved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow when Dannah Gresh and Juli Slattery will be here again as we continue to look at this subject of intimacy, and erotica, and the <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> phenomenon. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. Hope you can be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. 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all the hype about Fifty Shades of Grey? With its dark overtones, why are so many Christian women being drawn to it? Here to answer those questions and more are Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-02-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have probably heard the buzz about the movie that\u2019s coming out next weekend\u2014the movie that is an adaptation of the book, <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em>\u2014a book that presents a very distorted view of human sexuality and relationships. Dannah Gresh says there is a reason why so many women\u2014including Christian women\u2014are being seduced by a story like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah: <\/strong>We live in a culture that is very fueled by feminist mentality and strong women. I\u2019m not offended by strong women\u2014I think I am one. Ask my husband\u2014he\u2019ll tell you. In a culture where you best not talk about biblical submission, when a counterfeit shows up\u2014as vile as the character is in <em>Fifty Shades of Grey <\/em>\/ as messed up as he is\u2014women, who are <em>starved<\/em> for men of strength, will fall for that counterfeit because they are thirsty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, February 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to pull back the curtain on the <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> phenomenon today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You almost wish we didn\u2019t have to talk about this; don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, I do. I was grieved, actually, as I was doing studio preparation. I was thinking, \u201cWhat a tragedy in our culture\u2014that we have to talk about what is the equivalent, for women, of pornography.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have to tell you\u2014I will never forget a plane flight I was on. It was a Little Rock to Dallas leg of the flight. I was seated next to a woman, who was probably ten years younger than me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOut of her purse came the book, <em>Fifty Shades of Grey.<\/em> For an hour, I sat next to a woman who was reading this book. It was just uncomfortable to sit there, going, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on in your head as you\u2019re reading this book?\u201d It was kind of creeping me out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The unfortunate thing is that book has now gone on to sell\u2014or the books\u2014over 70 million\u2014is that right, ladies?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s up to over a 100 million now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And with the movie about to come out, we can expect that it\u2019s going to sell even more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Even more. We\u2019re joined on the broadcast today by Dr. Juli Slattery and Dannah Gresh. Dannah\/Juli\u2014 welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> It\u2019s great to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, it\u2019s good to have you. I\u2019m glad\u2014well, I\u2019m not glad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes, we feel the same way. We\u2019ve grieved our way through the writing of this book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, but someone has to speak out about it. You guys have done a great job on a book called <em>Pulling Back the Shades<\/em>. Juli, you\u2019re a mom\u2014you have three. You and your husband, Mike, have been married for 18 years. Dannah, you have three children as well. You and Bob have a happy marriage. So, here you are as wives, being forced into a discussion and a dialogue around what is a trap. You ran across this trap when it first came out, Dannah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes, and I didn\u2019t\u2014I refused to actually write about it. My husband said: \u201cHoney, there\u2019s this book. Have you heard of it?\u2014<em>Fifty Shades of Grey.<\/em>\u201d I hadn\u2019t. He said: \u201cWell, there\u2019s a viral <em>Saturday Night Live<\/em> spoof that\u2019s all over Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. I think you should see it.\u201d I watched, and it was horrible. I snapped the laptop shut and said, \u201cChristian women will never fall for that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd everywhere I went, Christian women <em>were reading<\/em> it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr my best friend\u2019s <em>mom<\/em> had her name on a list at the library to take it out as a loan. I said, \u201cYour mom is a godly woman.\u201d She said: \u201cI know. She has no idea what the book\u2019s about. She\u2019s just heard that everyone is reading it so she wants to read it too.\u201d That\u2019s when I knew I needed to speak up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, you ended up writing a piece for <em>MomLife Today<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>, which is FamilyLife\u2019s\u2014well, it really keeps in touch with moms and current issues they are dealing with. What was the response to that blog?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> So furious and so supportive, all at the same time. The title was <em>\u201c<\/em>I\u2019m Not Reading <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em>.\u201d I went on to outline the reasons I felt that I shouldn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to put a link on our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, so listeners can take a look at that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJuli, how did you run across this book, and what was your response?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Well, I had just started a new ministry for women, with Linda Dillow, on the issue of intimacy called <em>Authentic Intimacy.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were teaching women about sexuality, from God\u2019s perspective, and helping them deal with all kinds of issues. So, this naturally came up on our radar when it started to hit the news. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI, like Dannah, thought, \u201cWell, this is just one of those things that we grieve for a short period of time and then we move on\u201d; but also realized, as Dannah did, that this is <em>not going away<\/em>. It\u2019s not just a worldly phenomenon \/ we were hearing from women, as well, who were asking us questions about it: \u201cA friend from church gave me this book. Is there anything wrong with it?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe became more aware that this was a cultural movement that was impacting people\u2014women from all walks and really all faiths. There really became this need to begin speaking out and teaching women about discernment when it comes to what they\u2019re reading, and what they\u2019re thinking about, and sexual things\u2014just the same way as men need to be aware of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dannah, you still have not read the <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> books; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> I have not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Juli, you\u2019ve read them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> I have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And the decision to read them was in preparation for what you wanted to write about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Absolutely; yes. When we decided to write the book, we knew that one of us needed to know what was in the books. Dannah had made a very public stand and felt convicted that she shouldn\u2019t read them. I prayed about it and felt that I needed to read them. So, I did so with fear and trembling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Read all of them\u2014cover to cover?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> I did, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was there a point, in the middle of it, where you thought, \u201cI should not be reading this stuff\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Well, I really went into reading them, knowing what I was getting myself into, and had people praying for me\u2014and asked the Lord, \u201cShow me how to read these books in such a way that it\u2019s not going to defile me.\u201d The Lord showed me to read them on my knees because that\u2019s the posture of prayer that I am frequently in when I\u2019m seeking God. Reading them in that physical posture of prayer and also being quite uncomfortable\u2014when you\u2019re on your knees hour after hour\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I think helped a lot to remind me, through the moments, why I was reading. I\u2019m not going to say that it didn\u2019t still impact me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re a clinical psychologist; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not like you come at these without some kind of clinical experience\u2014having seen the impact of pornography and erotica on women before and, perhaps, even some men in your counseling. Did that help you in terms of kind of giving a category for what you were wading off into?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> It helped me a little bit, but I\u2019m going to say\u2014as my walk with the Lord has gotten deeper, I\u2019m more a follower of Christ than a clinical psychologist. So, in approaching <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> in our book, <em>Pulling Back the Shades,<\/em> I was really more aware of the spiritual battle. The psychology is definitely there\u2014what it does to our brain chemistry \/ how it impacts relationships\u2014it\u2019s there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the stronger argument and the stronger awareness for me was the spiritual battle of good and evil that is playing out in our world when it comes to sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What is the lure here?\u2014because I\u2019ve talked to people who have said, \u201cThese are not particularly well-written books.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s not like anybody is reading this, going, \u201cThis is amazing literature!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> \u201cGreat writing!\u201d\u2014yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Well, that was the first question Juli and I wanted to answer. We wanted to ask the Lord and these women, \u201cWhat made you read it?\u201d My job was to interview women who had read it\u2014I interviewed deaconesses; I interviewed pastor\u2019s wives; I interviewed children. The youngest girl that we worked with had started to read erotica when she was nine years old on the internet. The question was: \u201cWhat is drawing them in?\u201d So I went into the stories. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor example, one of the deaconesses\u2014her husband was an elder in the church. He was a very successful businessman. Suddenly, she\u2014formerly, a very successful business woman\u2014found herself at home with babies. She was lonely. The reality of diapers, and dinner, and grocery shopping, and all the things that encompass everyday living, when you\u2019re a stay-at-home mom, had overtaken her. Her desire was two-fold\u2014to escape the reality of mundane living and to wake up her sex life because she just felt dead\u2014that was her breaking point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You all list out what you call \u201cFive Longings that Women Have.\u201d I think those are helpful to understand what it is that is the lure\u2014back to your question, Bob: \u201cWhy are women taking the bait?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes. I think it\u2019s really important to highlight these longings because there is nothing wrong in the longings. The longings that women have are God-given longings; but Satan comes along and presents a shortcut and says, \u201cYou can get what you need this way instead of the holy way.\u201d So we did identify\u2014individually, Dannah and I just stumbled upon these five longings\u2014as she was interviewing women and as I was reading the books.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> They just happened to match. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So the five are?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> The first is to escape reality. Women want some kind of fantasy to take them out of just dull life. The second one is to be cherished by a man. The third one is to be protected by a strong man. The fourth\u2014to rescue a man; and the fifth is to be sexually alive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> The story I just shared\u2014that women had two of those factors in her life. Juli was seeing that this book made the promise of those things. So, we brought those two things together\u2014what I was hearing from women and what Juli was sensing in the book. We realized that these are the five things that are drawing them in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, Juli, as you\u2019re reading through these books, are you finding yourself attracted to the stories? Are you being seduced by what\u2019s in the books as you read it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> For sure; yes. There is sugar in it\u2014there\u2019s something that draws us. I\u2019m a woman\u2014I\u2019m not just a psychologist. I have longings. Some of these longings\u2014I would say that the church hasn\u2019t done a great job of talking about, and validating, and fleshing out for people how you actually get those needs met. The world is doing a better job of painting the picture. So, for sure, I thought, \u201cEven though the books were not greatly written, they were <em>masterfully<\/em> manipulating women in terms of what their heart longs for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s talk about that for a moment. I don\u2019t want to talk so much about the building of the church; but I want to break it down to the smallest component of the church, which is a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow should a mom and dad, who are raising daughters today, be thinking about a young lady, who is growing up in this culture, who has these longings? How should they be equipping their daughters to know how to identify, first of all, and then, secondly, deal with those longings, biblically, the way God would have them do it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> That\u2019s the million dollar question\u2014so we\u2019ll take a while to unpack that. Some of it, I think, starts with viewing sexuality as something much greater than sex. In our culture, we\u2019ve taken one aspect of sexuality, which is sexually acting out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> The physical\u2014just the physical.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, and separated it <em>completely<\/em> from who God is, and what His design is, and what a woman longs for\u2014how she wants to be cherished and protected. We\u2019ve let the world just talk about the physical part. We\u2019ve kind of cut it off from all other forms of discipleship that we do with our kids. We haven\u2019t integrated it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know you, at FamilyLife, have done a great job with some of the resources\u2014like <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014to help integrate it. And Dannah, your ministry does a wonderful job, as well, of teaching parents. This is kind of a new term I\u2019ve been thinking about: \u201cWhat does sexual discipleship look like? How do we integrate sexuality into the discipleship of our kids?\u201d So that\u2019s the broader picture. And then there\u2019s a lot when it comes to unpacking that and walking it out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s no mistake that the book of beginnings, the Book of Genesis\u2014the first book in the Bible\u2014among the first verses of the book describe God creating man in His own image\u2014Genesis 1:27. It says \u201cIn the image of God He created them, male and female, He created them.\u201d Human sexuality was a part of the imprint of who God was from the very beginning, and He didn\u2019t stutter. He made it real clear\u2014there are two sexes: male and female. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs parents, we have to make sure we embrace the obvious and engage our children around these issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Don\u2019t you think it\u2019s interesting that\u2014when He says \u201cIn the image of God He created them; male and female He created them,\u201d\u2014that those two sentences encapsulate the fact that we look like God. All of the proficiencies that we have\u2014our language proficiencies, our creative proficiencies to write sonnets and create works of beautiful art, the ability to defy gravity and fly to the moon\u2014that God doesn\u2019t speak to those proficiencies. He speaks to <em>gender <\/em>when He says \u201cThis is what makes you in My image.\u201d That\u2019s <em>cataclysmic<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s <em>huge<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And yet, Dannah, we have, for a lot of years, said to young people: \u201cSex\u2014bad. Sex\u2014stay away from this. Sex is going to hurt you. It\u2019s going to harm you. Just say, \u2018No,\u2019 to all of these things.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes. It\u2019s such an incomplete message.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is. What you\u2019re saying, \u201cEven with these longings,\u201d\u2014you\u2019re saying\u2014\u201cthese are good longings. These are God-given longings.\u201d It\u2019s just, when you go after a counterfeit solution to try to achieve the longings, that\u2019s when you\u2019re headed into a dangerous spot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, and let\u2019s go to one other one real quickly here. Let\u2019s talk about a woman\u2019s desire to be cherished by a man. What have you ladies tried to teach your daughters about how she should be cherished?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Well, I have to say, right out of the gate, I have three sons. So, I haven\u2019t had the privilege of walking with a daughter through this. I\u2019m teaching my boys, on the other end of it. Dannah, you have two girls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes. I think the thing that comes to my mind immediately is just that my children have seen Bob cherish me. They have seen him set aside his life to love me, and serve me, and spoil me. I don\u2019t think there has been a night in 25 years of marriage that he hasn\u2019t said, in front of the kids, \u201cYour mom is a good cook!\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust these little things; you know? I think that what we can\u2019t forget is that what they see at home is what they catch. If we love Jesus, and they see that that is real, they want Jesus. If we love our spouse, and they see that that\u2019s real, they want to model that in the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Back to the <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> book\u2014because there are a lot of people who say, \u201cThat\u2019s why I liked it\u2014because I saw a man cherishing a woman.\u201d I presume that\u2019s in there\u2014I don\u2019t know. \u201cI saw these things\u2014that are the longings being fulfilled\u2014so what\u2019s wrong with that?\u201d What\u2019s wrong with it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> If I might just interject, before I answer that question\u2014my pet peeve or my soapbox in these longings is to be protected by a <em>strong <\/em>man. We live in a culture that is very fueled by feminist mentality and strong women. I\u2019m not offended by strong women\u2014I think I am one. Ask my husband\u2014he\u2019ll tell you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara Walters read the book. On <em>The View<\/em>, she said to the panel, \u201cYou know, I think that we\u2019re reading it because we\u2019re so tired of being strong women all day that, at night, we just want the man to be in charge.\u201d Suddenly, words like \u201csubmission\u201d and \u201cmaster\u201d and \u201cobedience\u201d are <em>sexy<\/em> in a culture where you best not talk about biblical submission. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy?\u2014because we have slaughtered the strong man in our society. We are women who are <em>starved <\/em>for men of strength. So, when a counterfeit shows up\u2014as vile as the character is in <em>Fifty Shades of Grey <\/em>\/ as messed up as he is\u2014his whips and chains makes him strong\u2014and women will fall for that counterfeit because they are <em>thirsty<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you would say, I presume, Dannah, that somebody\u2014who is not interested in the book \/ not going to go see the movie\u2014do they need to read your book? Because I\u2019d be a little bit concerned they\u2019d read your book and that might make them curious for what\u2019s in <em>Fifty Shades.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Well, I hope that is not the case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope that we have shown them where they can get those realities met in Christ. One of the things that we prayed very fervently for is that women\u2014who have read <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> and women who have not read it\u2014will choose to pick up our book. The real culmination in that prayer was\u2014we were in Colorado Springs\u2014Juli and I had gotten together to work on the book in her home. That morning, we sat down to start our time together in prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI began to just pray some passages that I had read in Nehemiah that day, which was outside of my reading plan, but it\u2019s where God led me. And Juli just stopped me. She said: \u201cNo way; no way; no way! You\u2019re reading Nehemiah? Who reads that?!\u201d because the Lord had directed her to Nehemiah. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe story of Nehemiah is that he wasn\u2019t in the crisis of it\u2014he was <em>called<\/em> to it. He could have stayed in his cushy place of safety, so many miles away from the <em>crisis<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead, he prayed: \u201cLord, break my heart. Let my heart break until I want to be a part of the solution.\u201d We need men and women in the church\u2014who are not <em>enticed<\/em> by pornography \/ who are not <em>enticed<\/em> by erotica\u2014to have their heart broken with how it is ripping the <em>soul<\/em> out of the intimacy of marriage so that we can be a part of rebuilding that wall of integrity in the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would make three quick comments to that. One, if you are a woman, who does pick this up and read it\u2014I would make sure your husband knows or another woman knows that you\u2019re reading this, and that you\u2019re talking about it, and you have the ability to let somebody into your soul as you go through this because this is not\u2014we\u2019re <em>not<\/em> talking about reading <em>Fifty Shades of Grey.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re talking about reading Dannah and Juli\u2019s book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I am. I\u2019m talking about reading that so that person has\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014some accountability.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. Number two\u2014I would say to any teenager: \u201cI wouldn\u2019t read this book without your mom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019d want to make sure you\u2019re connected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> I haven\u2019t allowed my 20-year-old girls to read it yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. I just caution\u2014I just caution there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then\u2014the third group I want to speak to are the men. I hope you have heard a clarion call for the need for strong, courageous men of God, who know how to love, protect, nourish, cherish, care for, lead, guide, love their wives and the women in their lives. Ephesians, Chapter 5, lays it on the line: \u201cHusbands, love your wives\u2026\u201d\u2014how?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong> \u201c\u2026as Christ loved the church.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201c\u2026as Christ loved the church.\u201d It\u2019s going to cost you your life; but if you\u2019re not doing that, you may be leaving your wife in a vulnerable position to go looking for some of these longings to be met in the wrong place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I would think, with regard to the book you ladies have written, called <em>Pulling Back the Shades<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if there are women, who are listening, who have\u2014they have read the <em>Fifty Shades<\/em> books and they\u2019re thinking, \u201cMaybe, I should go see that movie. I\u2019m kind of curious. I think I\u2019d like to see it,\u201d\u2014or maybe they know somebody who has either read these books or is involved in pornography and erotica\u2014I\u2019d encourage them: \u201cGet a copy of Dannah and Juli\u2019s book because it really does help you understand why this is the dangerous subject that it is\u2014why it is not just a momentary escape and, as long as you keep your marriage vows and don\u2019t take your sexuality outside of marriage, everything is going to be okay and God doesn\u2019t really care. There is a lot more at stake here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of the book, <em>Pulling Back the Shades<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner that says \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d The information about the book is available right there. You can order from us, online. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you\u2019d like to order. If you have any questions about the book, the number to call: 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know how many of you realize this, but next week is actually National Marriage Week. Throughout social media, we\u2019re going to have some fun activities. We\u2019re going to be suggesting some articles that we want to recommend to you\u2014some ways to build into your marriage. I mention all of that because I know some of you are not friends of ours on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. So, if you\u2019re on Facebook and you have never friended <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> you might want to do that this week because we have a lot coming up next week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re on Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, and you\u2019re not following <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on Twitter, you might go over and follow us today. Then keep an eye open for some of the tweets that come out next week as we celebrate National Marriage Week. I also want to let you know that the month of February is a month in which we are going to be asking many of our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners to consider taking the next step and becoming regular contributors to this ministry by becoming Legacy Partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a small, loyal, faithful group of folks who help underwrite this radio program, month in and month out, with regular contributions to support <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> We\u2019d like you to think about joining that group. We\u2019ll tell you more about it later on in the month. I\u2019d just like you to start thinking now about whether you should join us and become a Legacy Partner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to find out more about what\u2019s involved, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link at the top right-hand corner of the page that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d The information about becoming a Legacy Partner is available right there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019d like to know more about becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d We\u2019ll answer any questions you might have and tell you a little bit more about what\u2019s involved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow when Dannah Gresh and Juli Slattery will be here again as we continue to look at this subject of intimacy, and erotica, and the <em>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/em> phenomenon. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. Hope you can be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303371","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303371"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303371"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303371"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303371"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303371"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303371"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303371"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}