{"id":303355,"date":"2015-01-21T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-21T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/parenting-as-a-calling\/"},"modified":"2015-01-21T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-01-21T17:00:00","slug":"parenting-as-a-calling","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/parenting-as-a-calling\/","title":{"rendered":"Parenting as a Calling"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>God has a divine purpose in mind when He calls us to be parents. After years of parenting, Dennis Rainey realized that the children helped him finish growing up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-01-21.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.81M","filesize_raw":"23915394","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2805],"tags":[4103,5590,4748,5361,4276,5591,5589],"podcast_series":[7924],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303355","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","tag-empty-nest","tag-gods-gift-to-you","tag-honoring-your-parents","tag-intentional","tag-legacy","tag-life-lessons","tag-rookie-season","podcast_series-40-lessons-from-40-years","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303355\/parenting-as-a-calling","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303355\/parenting-as-a-calling","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"1Qbck4BbDC\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/parenting-as-a-calling\/\">Parenting as a Calling<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/parenting-as-a-calling\/embed\/#?secret=1Qbck4BbDC\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Parenting as a Calling&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"1Qbck4BbDC\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-01-21.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-01-21.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>God has a divine purpose when He calls us to be parents. Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have a confession to make. I mistakenly thought that God gave Barbara and me six children so that we could raise them. I think He gave six children, at least to me, so He could finish the process of helping me grow up. Nothing has taught me more about self-sacrifice than loving and leading my children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, January 21<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Today, we\u2019ll hear some of the most important lessons Dennis Rainey has learned after 40 years of being a husband and a father. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong><strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. So, being a dad taught you a few things?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes. [Laughter] Yes; absolutely. I mean, you\u2019re not going to be the father God designed you to be if you\u2019re not learning more than your kids are\u2014I\u2019m convinced. It is, as that famous theologian, Erma Bombeck, once said, \u201cChildren are God\u2019s last chance He gives us to grow up.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. Well, we\u2019ve been listening this week to a message you gave to students at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. This was right at the point that you and Barbara were about to celebrate 40 years of marriage together, which gave you an opportunity to reflect back on some of the lessons you\u2019d learned over 40 years. You came up with a lesson a year\u2014although they did not happen chronologically like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They did not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was not one lesson each year. You\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, if life was like that, wouldn\u2019t it be a lot easier?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just kind of go, \u201cOkay, we\u2019ve got that one for this year.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cThis year\u2019s lesson is locked in,\u201d\u2014 but this was \u201c40 lessons on marriage, and on parenting, and on life, and on God\u2019s purposes for us.\u201d\u00a0 So, we\u2019ve been sharing that with listeners this week. We\u2019ve already heard about two dozen of these lessons; and we\u2019re going to zip through the rest of the list, at this point. So, let\u2019s dive in. Here is Dennis Rainey with some of the lessons he\u2019s learned in 40 years of marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Twenty-four: \u201cCommunication is to marriage what blood is to the body.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s the life-giver of a relationship. Simply put\u2014find a way to get five, ten, fifteen minutes together to talk, every day. Turn the TV off, set the computer aside, take a walk, and just talk with each other. We used to do this and walk in our garden. The kids thought we were just going out there to see the flowers bloom. We were going out there to get away from them [Laughter] so we could have a complete sentence between each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 25: Husbands\u2014dads\u2014this is for you. \u201cNo shepherd can lead any faster than the sheep can follow.\u201d\u00a0 You are the guardian of your marriage and family\u2019s direction and vision. C. H. Spurgeon put it well. He had to be speaking to men, who were attempting to shepherd their families. He said this, \u201cIt was by perseverance the snail reached the Ark.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is the great hope for me, as the spiritual leader of my family, sliming my way to the finish line\u2014just not quitting!\u00a0 After you fail, you get back up!\u00a0 Our family devos were chaos!\u2014flipping peas, spilling milk, crawling under the table. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWho knows what they heard?\u00a0 No shepherd can lead any faster than the sheep can follow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 26: \u201cMaximize your wife\u2019s talents, gifts, experience, and passion as you would an Olympic athlete.\u201d\u00a0 We need to tie that to Ephesians 5, men, which talks about loving our wives as we love our own bodies so that we are helping our wives get to the finish line\u2014accomplishing everything that God has in mind for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust some quick tips, here, guys: Do an inventory of her gifts, her talents, her passions. What motivates her?\u00a0 What demotivates her?\u00a0 Pray for her and her vision. What are her core competencies?\u00a0 Dream some dreams together, and don\u2019t wait until you\u2019re in the empty nest to dream the dreams. Start dreaming now, even when you\u2019re building your family\u2014\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014there will be a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 27: \u201cWives, your respect will fuel your husband, and your contempt will empty his tank.\u201d\u00a0 Ephesians 5:33 commands wives to respect their husbands. Ladies, keep in mind that 93 percent of all communication is non-verbal. How are you expressing belief in your man, non-verbally?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to tell you something\u2014Barbara\u2019s belief in me, as a man, has done more to help me excel than any other human being on the planet. It\u2019s not a blind belief, but it\u2019s a belief that speaks the truth in love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 28: \u201cWomen spell romance differently than men.\u201d\u00a0 Women spell it, \u201cRelationship\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do men spell romance?\u2014\u201cSex.\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s the thing\u2014God, in His cosmic genius, has brought these two people together, who spell it differently; and we\u2019re to dance together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat an interesting dance because I get it\u2014I bring her roses, and I write her a note, and I fix dinner and put the kids to bed, and that equals sex. [Laughter]\u00a0 So, as a man, I begin to think, \u201cA+B+C=D. It did last night!\u201d\u00a0 So, I try it again the next night or perhaps a few nights later. Roses, a nice meal, put the kids to bed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cHuh?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNada!\u201d [Laughter] \u201cHuh?\u201d\u00a0 So, I go to Barbara and I go: \u201cWhat\u2019s the deal?\u00a0 You changed the equation, for goodness\u2019 sakes!\u201d\u00a0 You know what her statement is?\u00a0 This is really <em>good<\/em>: \u201cAs a woman, I don\u2019t want to be reduced to an equation. I want to be pursued, as a person, relationally.\u201d\u00a0 Some of you may need to circle that one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 29: \u201cOur romance gave us children, and our children tried to steal our romance.\u201d\u00a0 Your marriage must be built to outlast the kids. We did this in a number of ways. We had special dinners. We had getaways\u2014three nights away from the children\u2014two or three times a year. It takes a day\/day-and-a-half just to decompress\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to get out of the pressure of the whole thing. We fought to keep these times on the schedule. We battled to do that. It was a hassle, finding a babysitter. It was wonderful\u2014delightful times. Your marriage must be built to outlast your kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 30: \u201cBuild too many guard rails rather than too few.\u201d\u00a0 Men, don\u2019t trust yourself, alone, with the opposite sex. I have asked people to go out of their way to take me to speaking engagements instead of a woman taking me. I\u2019ve got a friend who won\u2019t get in an elevator alone with a woman. You may say that\u2019s a little extreme. Let me tell you something. Given the fallout today in ministry, I\u2019m not sure it\u2019s extreme. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-one: \u201cWives generously use your sexual power in your husband\u2019s life.\u201d\u00a0 One of the mistakes, I think, we make when we read Proverbs, Chapter 5-7\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014which is a father\u2019s advice to a son about the harlot\u2014is that we think that the only person who should use that kind of sexual power over a man is a woman of the streets. I think Proverbs 5-7 gives women an interesting glimpse into how to encourage and bless your man by encouraging him and speaking love to him in the language that would encourage him. Ladies, use your sexual power <em>liberally<\/em> with your husbands. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese next four are going to be quick because they represent four key elements that comprise the essence of rearing children \/ raising children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI spent the better part of a year\u2014interviewing theologians, pastors, and leaders, all over the country\u2014trying to find the essence of what the Bible teaches in raising our children to grow up spiritually and to all that God designed. I reduced it down to four\u2014these are the four that I came up with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-two is: \u201cIdentity.\u201d\u00a0 This has to do with discipling your child to know his or her spiritual destiny and spiritual address. It also has to do with his or her sexual identity as well\u2014make a note of that. This culture is seeking to distort the image of God, imbedded in boys and girls. We have to help our children know how to navigate those waters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 33\u2014and the second component\u2014\u201cRelationship.\u201d\u00a0 Disciple your child to know what real love is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014how to love another imperfect person and how to experience love, as a human. The Great Commandment makes it clear\u2014Matthew 22:34-40. Life is about relationships. It\u2019s about a relationship with God\u2014loving Him\u2014and it\u2019s about loving others on the horizontal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne little side caveat here to daddies, who\u2019ve got little girls: \u201cDaddies, date your daughters.\u201d\u00a0 Some of my most favorite memories of our children growing up was when I would take our daughters out on dates. It doesn\u2019t get any better than that\u2014than to have a little girl, with pigtails\/ribbons\u2014walking her out to the car, going out to a smorgasbord, eating chocolate pudding, chocolate pie, and chocolate cake\u2014laughing about what Mom would say. [Laughter] Date your daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate your daughters because someday you\u2019re going to take their hands in yours and you\u2019re going to place their hands in another man\u2019s hands. Give that man a piece of your heart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-four\u2014the third essence of rearing children is: \u201cCharacter.\u201d\u00a0 The book of Proverbs talks about this, obviously. It is discipling your child to be wise and not be a fool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-five\u2014and the fourth\u2014is \u201cMission.\u201d\u00a0 Disciple your child to be about the Savior\u2019s mission\u2014the Great Commission. It is no mistake that the Scriptures speak of children like arrows in the hands of a warrior. They were meant to be pulled back by an archer, aimed at a target, and let go. What are you aiming them toward?\u00a0 What are you challenging them to give their lives to?\u00a0 The Kingdom\u2019s work is paramount. We\u2019re going to need another generation to carry on, should Christ tarry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I took our first daughter to college and let the arrow go\u2014some of you, who are archers, know what I\u2019m talking about. There is a thing that occurs when the archer lets go of the arrow. It\u2019s called string slap. It hits the forearm of the arm as the arrow was let go. Except, when you let a child go, the string slap doesn\u2019t hit the forearm\u2014it hits the heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were in a parking lot, outside a dorm at Ole Miss, about to launch our first daughter, Ashley. I was sobbing so hard. I couldn\u2019t even pray for my own daughter. She had to pray for herself. It was pitiful!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 It was absolutely pitiful!\u00a0 We\u2019re driving away in the pick-up because it took a pick-up to take all the stuff there that she had. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhilippians, Chapter 2, is a great reminder: \u201cAs you have obeyed, not only in my presence, now much more in my absence, work out your salvation in fear and trembling.\u201d\u00a0 Be on a mission. Be lights in the world. That\u2019s what a family is all about. It\u2019s a generational relay race. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-six: \u201cDetermining your core values, as a couple, will enable you to sing off the same song sheet as you raise your children.\u201d\u00a0 One of the most important projects Barbara and I completed, as a couple, early in our marriage\u2014after we\u2019d had, I think, four children\u2014we got away to a little retreat. She got alone, and she wrote down her top ten core values she wanted to produce in our children. I got alone, separate from her, and wrote out my top ten core values. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe, then, prioritized them, and we came together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can\u2019t tell you how much this saved us, as a couple. We came up with our top five. We didn\u2019t have 20 things we were shooting for. We just had some very simple ones that were anchored in Scripture\u2014and you know what most of them are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose five helped us, not compare our family with the Jones\u2019s or with the other folks, but just do what God has called us to do. It helped us be one, as a couple\u2014one of the most important things we did in raising six children to adulthood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-seven: \u201cInterview your daughter\u2019s date, and train your sons not to be clueless.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m going to show you two resources that we\u2019ve produced for dads and moms\u2014<em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>. Now, just so you wonder why I\u2019m hawking a book up here\u2014I don\u2019t take a penny from any of my books. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI donate 100 percent of my royalties to the ministry. So, it\u2019s not about me. It\u2019s about helping you help your kids get through some very challenging years\u2014<em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em> and a book I just finished, from Proverbs 5-7, called <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>. Let me tell you something, folks\u2014our boys\u2014our little eight-year-old\/nine-year-old boys\u2014are being preyed upon by older girls. It is <em>bizarre<\/em>! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a young man, who just went away for a <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> weekend\u2014which is a weekend getaway\u2014with his father. He was 11 years old. He arrived back home, and two eighth-grade girls came over\u2014two days after the weekend where he found out about the birds and the bees for the first time in his life. These eighth-grade girls came over in his yard, after school, and asked him to have sex with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cNo,\u201d\u2014told them to leave. They came back, five minutes later. One girl got behind him, and the other girl got in front of him and started grinding on him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me tell you folks\u2014we can\u2019t have the kind of sewage that is being pumped out over the airways and on the internet, infiltrating our country, without little eyes and little radar units catching onto it. It\u2019s <em>destroying<\/em> a generation. That\u2019s why we, as men, can\u2019t dabble in anything that goes anywhere near pornography. Your life \/ my life can be the doorway through which sin gains entrance to our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-eight: \u201cYour adult children need you to become smaller, not bigger, in their lives.\u201d\u00a0 They need us to become smaller, not bigger. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-nine: \u201cAs I get older, I want to laugh more with my wife, gripe less, and be found guilty of giving her too much love, grace, and mercy rather than too little.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 40\u2014perhaps, the most important of all: \u201cThe most important thing about you, as an individual and as a couple, is what you think about God.\u201d\u00a0 Our view of God and who He is and the blueprints of His Word are going to guide you all your days through many valleys and mountaintops in ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne such event occurred in our family when our daughter, Rebecca, gave birth to a little girl\u2014her firstborn. Her name was Molly. Everything had been normal in the pregnancy until we got the phone call that said she\u2019s got something wrong with her heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we flew to Denver. Then, we found out there was something wrong with her brain. Then, we found out that she didn\u2019t really have a brain and that she was going to die. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me tell you something\u2014as a parent, if I could have taken that little girl\u2019s place and died for her so my daughter could\u2019ve had a little girl, I would\u2019ve done it. But it was not my privilege. I suffered for my daughter as she lost her firstborn, and I suffered in the loss of my granddaughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t have a lot of valuable things; but this Bible, someday, will become my daughter\u2019s Bible because on my life verse, Psalm 112:1-2, is her handprint. We called her Mighty Molly. Let me read you the verse. \u201cPraise the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBlessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments. His offspring will be mighty in the land. The generation of the upright will be blessed.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour family is a generational connector of the gospel and the glory of God to the next generation. Don\u2019t quit!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, today, we have been listening to the conclusion of a message from Dennis Rainey, \u201cForty Lessons Learned in Forty Years of Marriage.\u201d Forty years of anything is going to take you through some valleys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It has; and you know, it\u2019s the valleys that give definition to the mountains. I mean, if it was all one flat plain, life would be easily forgotten\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but the valleys, the mountaintops, and everything in between provide a lot of definition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We learn more about the character and nature of God as we travel up and down than we ever would if it just stayed flat; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s true, Bob. And I think one of the big ideas we miss about marriage is\u2014it is a great opportunity to get to know God \/ His love for us and how we can show that for another imperfect person. And I just have to say\u2014it\u2019s been a great privilege to be married to Barbara, now for more than 42 years. It\u2019s been the journey of a lifetime. And I can\u2019t imagine making it if I didn\u2019t know my Savior and Lord and Master, Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what I\u2019d just challenge you, as a listener, to do\u2014if you know Him, then, you need to pass Him onto others. You need to pass on the reality of God\u2019s forgiveness through Christ to others. And one of the great ways you can do that is through a little tool we created called <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can do it in an event\u2014Friday night\/Saturday event\u2014with couples; or you can do it in a small group, taking place over six weeks or twelve weeks, if you want to stretch it out. It\u2019s a great way, I think, to bring the reality of the gospel of Jesus Christ to marriages and families today who desperately need this. I mean, this is not optional\u2014this has to be in a marriage if it\u2019s going to be anywhere near what God intended for a man and a woman \/ a husband and a wife to experience over a lifetime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have started seeing more and more couples, who are taking <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> small group material\u2014getting together with four or five other couples and having dinner or having dessert and just saying, \u201cLet\u2019s go through this material together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I want to encourage our listeners\u2014find out more about this resource and consider doing this with some of your friends this spring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust pick some dates when you can get together for dinner or dessert and go through this material together\u2014you\u2019ll build stronger relationships with other couples. You\u2019ll build stronger relationships with one another; and you\u2019ll have a more substantial anchor on what the Bible says about marriage, having gone through <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> material. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link the upper left-hand corner that says, \u201cGO DEEPER\u201d; and then, you\u2019ll see the button for <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>. Just click on that, and the information you need about this resource is available there; or call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Find out more about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> small group material \/ <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> event kit. Plan to do something that will strengthen your marriage and strengthen the marriage of other folks this spring; alright?\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Ask about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> when you get in touch with us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear a message from our friend, Dr. Al Mohler, who is a part of <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>. He is one of the people we speak to in that series. We\u2019re going to hear some thoughts from him about God\u2019s design for marriage. What did God have in mind when he brought the man and woman together for the very first marriage?\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear that tomorrow. Hope you can be here for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.81M"],"filesize_raw":["23915394"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303355.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303355.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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has a divine purpose in mind when He calls us to be parents. After years of parenting, Dennis Rainey realized that the children helped him finish growing up.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-01-21.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>God has a divine purpose when He calls us to be parents. Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have a confession to make. I mistakenly thought that God gave Barbara and me six children so that we could raise them. I think He gave six children, at least to me, so He could finish the process of helping me grow up. Nothing has taught me more about self-sacrifice than loving and leading my children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, January 21<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Today, we\u2019ll hear some of the most important lessons Dennis Rainey has learned after 40 years of being a husband and a father. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong><strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. So, being a dad taught you a few things?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes. [Laughter] Yes; absolutely. I mean, you\u2019re not going to be the father God designed you to be if you\u2019re not learning more than your kids are\u2014I\u2019m convinced. It is, as that famous theologian, Erma Bombeck, once said, \u201cChildren are God\u2019s last chance He gives us to grow up.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. Well, we\u2019ve been listening this week to a message you gave to students at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. This was right at the point that you and Barbara were about to celebrate 40 years of marriage together, which gave you an opportunity to reflect back on some of the lessons you\u2019d learned over 40 years. You came up with a lesson a year\u2014although they did not happen chronologically like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They did not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was not one lesson each year. You\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, if life was like that, wouldn\u2019t it be a lot easier?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just kind of go, \u201cOkay, we\u2019ve got that one for this year.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cThis year\u2019s lesson is locked in,\u201d\u2014 but this was \u201c40 lessons on marriage, and on parenting, and on life, and on God\u2019s purposes for us.\u201d\u00a0 So, we\u2019ve been sharing that with listeners this week. We\u2019ve already heard about two dozen of these lessons; and we\u2019re going to zip through the rest of the list, at this point. So, let\u2019s dive in. Here is Dennis Rainey with some of the lessons he\u2019s learned in 40 years of marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Twenty-four: \u201cCommunication is to marriage what blood is to the body.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s the life-giver of a relationship. Simply put\u2014find a way to get five, ten, fifteen minutes together to talk, every day. Turn the TV off, set the computer aside, take a walk, and just talk with each other. We used to do this and walk in our garden. The kids thought we were just going out there to see the flowers bloom. We were going out there to get away from them [Laughter] so we could have a complete sentence between each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 25: Husbands\u2014dads\u2014this is for you. \u201cNo shepherd can lead any faster than the sheep can follow.\u201d\u00a0 You are the guardian of your marriage and family\u2019s direction and vision. C. H. Spurgeon put it well. He had to be speaking to men, who were attempting to shepherd their families. He said this, \u201cIt was by perseverance the snail reached the Ark.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is the great hope for me, as the spiritual leader of my family, sliming my way to the finish line\u2014just not quitting!\u00a0 After you fail, you get back up!\u00a0 Our family devos were chaos!\u2014flipping peas, spilling milk, crawling under the table. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWho knows what they heard?\u00a0 No shepherd can lead any faster than the sheep can follow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 26: \u201cMaximize your wife\u2019s talents, gifts, experience, and passion as you would an Olympic athlete.\u201d\u00a0 We need to tie that to Ephesians 5, men, which talks about loving our wives as we love our own bodies so that we are helping our wives get to the finish line\u2014accomplishing everything that God has in mind for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust some quick tips, here, guys: Do an inventory of her gifts, her talents, her passions. What motivates her?\u00a0 What demotivates her?\u00a0 Pray for her and her vision. What are her core competencies?\u00a0 Dream some dreams together, and don\u2019t wait until you\u2019re in the empty nest to dream the dreams. Start dreaming now, even when you\u2019re building your family\u2014\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014there will be a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 27: \u201cWives, your respect will fuel your husband, and your contempt will empty his tank.\u201d\u00a0 Ephesians 5:33 commands wives to respect their husbands. Ladies, keep in mind that 93 percent of all communication is non-verbal. How are you expressing belief in your man, non-verbally?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to tell you something\u2014Barbara\u2019s belief in me, as a man, has done more to help me excel than any other human being on the planet. It\u2019s not a blind belief, but it\u2019s a belief that speaks the truth in love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 28: \u201cWomen spell romance differently than men.\u201d\u00a0 Women spell it, \u201cRelationship\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do men spell romance?\u2014\u201cSex.\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s the thing\u2014God, in His cosmic genius, has brought these two people together, who spell it differently; and we\u2019re to dance together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat an interesting dance because I get it\u2014I bring her roses, and I write her a note, and I fix dinner and put the kids to bed, and that equals sex. [Laughter]\u00a0 So, as a man, I begin to think, \u201cA+B+C=D. It did last night!\u201d\u00a0 So, I try it again the next night or perhaps a few nights later. Roses, a nice meal, put the kids to bed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cHuh?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNada!\u201d [Laughter] \u201cHuh?\u201d\u00a0 So, I go to Barbara and I go: \u201cWhat\u2019s the deal?\u00a0 You changed the equation, for goodness\u2019 sakes!\u201d\u00a0 You know what her statement is?\u00a0 This is really <em>good<\/em>: \u201cAs a woman, I don\u2019t want to be reduced to an equation. I want to be pursued, as a person, relationally.\u201d\u00a0 Some of you may need to circle that one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 29: \u201cOur romance gave us children, and our children tried to steal our romance.\u201d\u00a0 Your marriage must be built to outlast the kids. We did this in a number of ways. We had special dinners. We had getaways\u2014three nights away from the children\u2014two or three times a year. It takes a day\/day-and-a-half just to decompress\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to get out of the pressure of the whole thing. We fought to keep these times on the schedule. We battled to do that. It was a hassle, finding a babysitter. It was wonderful\u2014delightful times. Your marriage must be built to outlast your kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 30: \u201cBuild too many guard rails rather than too few.\u201d\u00a0 Men, don\u2019t trust yourself, alone, with the opposite sex. I have asked people to go out of their way to take me to speaking engagements instead of a woman taking me. I\u2019ve got a friend who won\u2019t get in an elevator alone with a woman. You may say that\u2019s a little extreme. Let me tell you something. Given the fallout today in ministry, I\u2019m not sure it\u2019s extreme. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-one: \u201cWives generously use your sexual power in your husband\u2019s life.\u201d\u00a0 One of the mistakes, I think, we make when we read Proverbs, Chapter 5-7\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014which is a father\u2019s advice to a son about the harlot\u2014is that we think that the only person who should use that kind of sexual power over a man is a woman of the streets. I think Proverbs 5-7 gives women an interesting glimpse into how to encourage and bless your man by encouraging him and speaking love to him in the language that would encourage him. Ladies, use your sexual power <em>liberally<\/em> with your husbands. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese next four are going to be quick because they represent four key elements that comprise the essence of rearing children \/ raising children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI spent the better part of a year\u2014interviewing theologians, pastors, and leaders, all over the country\u2014trying to find the essence of what the Bible teaches in raising our children to grow up spiritually and to all that God designed. I reduced it down to four\u2014these are the four that I came up with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-two is: \u201cIdentity.\u201d\u00a0 This has to do with discipling your child to know his or her spiritual destiny and spiritual address. It also has to do with his or her sexual identity as well\u2014make a note of that. This culture is seeking to distort the image of God, imbedded in boys and girls. We have to help our children know how to navigate those waters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 33\u2014and the second component\u2014\u201cRelationship.\u201d\u00a0 Disciple your child to know what real love is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014how to love another imperfect person and how to experience love, as a human. The Great Commandment makes it clear\u2014Matthew 22:34-40. Life is about relationships. It\u2019s about a relationship with God\u2014loving Him\u2014and it\u2019s about loving others on the horizontal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne little side caveat here to daddies, who\u2019ve got little girls: \u201cDaddies, date your daughters.\u201d\u00a0 Some of my most favorite memories of our children growing up was when I would take our daughters out on dates. It doesn\u2019t get any better than that\u2014than to have a little girl, with pigtails\/ribbons\u2014walking her out to the car, going out to a smorgasbord, eating chocolate pudding, chocolate pie, and chocolate cake\u2014laughing about what Mom would say. [Laughter] Date your daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate your daughters because someday you\u2019re going to take their hands in yours and you\u2019re going to place their hands in another man\u2019s hands. Give that man a piece of your heart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-four\u2014the third essence of rearing children is: \u201cCharacter.\u201d\u00a0 The book of Proverbs talks about this, obviously. It is discipling your child to be wise and not be a fool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-five\u2014and the fourth\u2014is \u201cMission.\u201d\u00a0 Disciple your child to be about the Savior\u2019s mission\u2014the Great Commission. It is no mistake that the Scriptures speak of children like arrows in the hands of a warrior. They were meant to be pulled back by an archer, aimed at a target, and let go. What are you aiming them toward?\u00a0 What are you challenging them to give their lives to?\u00a0 The Kingdom\u2019s work is paramount. We\u2019re going to need another generation to carry on, should Christ tarry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I took our first daughter to college and let the arrow go\u2014some of you, who are archers, know what I\u2019m talking about. There is a thing that occurs when the archer lets go of the arrow. It\u2019s called string slap. It hits the forearm of the arm as the arrow was let go. Except, when you let a child go, the string slap doesn\u2019t hit the forearm\u2014it hits the heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were in a parking lot, outside a dorm at Ole Miss, about to launch our first daughter, Ashley. I was sobbing so hard. I couldn\u2019t even pray for my own daughter. She had to pray for herself. It was pitiful!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 It was absolutely pitiful!\u00a0 We\u2019re driving away in the pick-up because it took a pick-up to take all the stuff there that she had. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhilippians, Chapter 2, is a great reminder: \u201cAs you have obeyed, not only in my presence, now much more in my absence, work out your salvation in fear and trembling.\u201d\u00a0 Be on a mission. Be lights in the world. That\u2019s what a family is all about. It\u2019s a generational relay race. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-six: \u201cDetermining your core values, as a couple, will enable you to sing off the same song sheet as you raise your children.\u201d\u00a0 One of the most important projects Barbara and I completed, as a couple, early in our marriage\u2014after we\u2019d had, I think, four children\u2014we got away to a little retreat. She got alone, and she wrote down her top ten core values she wanted to produce in our children. I got alone, separate from her, and wrote out my top ten core values. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe, then, prioritized them, and we came together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can\u2019t tell you how much this saved us, as a couple. We came up with our top five. We didn\u2019t have 20 things we were shooting for. We just had some very simple ones that were anchored in Scripture\u2014and you know what most of them are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose five helped us, not compare our family with the Jones\u2019s or with the other folks, but just do what God has called us to do. It helped us be one, as a couple\u2014one of the most important things we did in raising six children to adulthood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-seven: \u201cInterview your daughter\u2019s date, and train your sons not to be clueless.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m going to show you two resources that we\u2019ve produced for dads and moms\u2014<em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>. Now, just so you wonder why I\u2019m hawking a book up here\u2014I don\u2019t take a penny from any of my books. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI donate 100 percent of my royalties to the ministry. So, it\u2019s not about me. It\u2019s about helping you help your kids get through some very challenging years\u2014<em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em> and a book I just finished, from Proverbs 5-7, called <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>. Let me tell you something, folks\u2014our boys\u2014our little eight-year-old\/nine-year-old boys\u2014are being preyed upon by older girls. It is <em>bizarre<\/em>! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a young man, who just went away for a <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> weekend\u2014which is a weekend getaway\u2014with his father. He was 11 years old. He arrived back home, and two eighth-grade girls came over\u2014two days after the weekend where he found out about the birds and the bees for the first time in his life. These eighth-grade girls came over in his yard, after school, and asked him to have sex with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cNo,\u201d\u2014told them to leave. They came back, five minutes later. One girl got behind him, and the other girl got in front of him and started grinding on him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me tell you folks\u2014we can\u2019t have the kind of sewage that is being pumped out over the airways and on the internet, infiltrating our country, without little eyes and little radar units catching onto it. It\u2019s <em>destroying<\/em> a generation. That\u2019s why we, as men, can\u2019t dabble in anything that goes anywhere near pornography. Your life \/ my life can be the doorway through which sin gains entrance to our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-eight: \u201cYour adult children need you to become smaller, not bigger, in their lives.\u201d\u00a0 They need us to become smaller, not bigger. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirty-nine: \u201cAs I get older, I want to laugh more with my wife, gripe less, and be found guilty of giving her too much love, grace, and mercy rather than too little.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 40\u2014perhaps, the most important of all: \u201cThe most important thing about you, as an individual and as a couple, is what you think about God.\u201d\u00a0 Our view of God and who He is and the blueprints of His Word are going to guide you all your days through many valleys and mountaintops in ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne such event occurred in our family when our daughter, Rebecca, gave birth to a little girl\u2014her firstborn. Her name was Molly. Everything had been normal in the pregnancy until we got the phone call that said she\u2019s got something wrong with her heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we flew to Denver. Then, we found out there was something wrong with her brain. Then, we found out that she didn\u2019t really have a brain and that she was going to die. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me tell you something\u2014as a parent, if I could have taken that little girl\u2019s place and died for her so my daughter could\u2019ve had a little girl, I would\u2019ve done it. But it was not my privilege. I suffered for my daughter as she lost her firstborn, and I suffered in the loss of my granddaughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t have a lot of valuable things; but this Bible, someday, will become my daughter\u2019s Bible because on my life verse, Psalm 112:1-2, is her handprint. We called her Mighty Molly. Let me read you the verse. \u201cPraise the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBlessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments. His offspring will be mighty in the land. The generation of the upright will be blessed.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour family is a generational connector of the gospel and the glory of God to the next generation. Don\u2019t quit!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, today, we have been listening to the conclusion of a message from Dennis Rainey, \u201cForty Lessons Learned in Forty Years of Marriage.\u201d Forty years of anything is going to take you through some valleys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It has; and you know, it\u2019s the valleys that give definition to the mountains. I mean, if it was all one flat plain, life would be easily forgotten\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but the valleys, the mountaintops, and everything in between provide a lot of definition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We learn more about the character and nature of God as we travel up and down than we ever would if it just stayed flat; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s true, Bob. And I think one of the big ideas we miss about marriage is\u2014it is a great opportunity to get to know God \/ His love for us and how we can show that for another imperfect person. And I just have to say\u2014it\u2019s been a great privilege to be married to Barbara, now for more than 42 years. It\u2019s been the journey of a lifetime. And I can\u2019t imagine making it if I didn\u2019t know my Savior and Lord and Master, Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what I\u2019d just challenge you, as a listener, to do\u2014if you know Him, then, you need to pass Him onto others. You need to pass on the reality of God\u2019s forgiveness through Christ to others. And one of the great ways you can do that is through a little tool we created called <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can do it in an event\u2014Friday night\/Saturday event\u2014with couples; or you can do it in a small group, taking place over six weeks or twelve weeks, if you want to stretch it out. It\u2019s a great way, I think, to bring the reality of the gospel of Jesus Christ to marriages and families today who desperately need this. I mean, this is not optional\u2014this has to be in a marriage if it\u2019s going to be anywhere near what God intended for a man and a woman \/ a husband and a wife to experience over a lifetime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have started seeing more and more couples, who are taking <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> small group material\u2014getting together with four or five other couples and having dinner or having dessert and just saying, \u201cLet\u2019s go through this material together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I want to encourage our listeners\u2014find out more about this resource and consider doing this with some of your friends this spring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust pick some dates when you can get together for dinner or dessert and go through this material together\u2014you\u2019ll build stronger relationships with other couples. You\u2019ll build stronger relationships with one another; and you\u2019ll have a more substantial anchor on what the Bible says about marriage, having gone through <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> material. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link the upper left-hand corner that says, \u201cGO DEEPER\u201d; and then, you\u2019ll see the button for <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>. Just click on that, and the information you need about this resource is available there; or call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Find out more about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> small group material \/ <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> event kit. Plan to do something that will strengthen your marriage and strengthen the marriage of other folks this spring; alright?\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Ask about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> when you get in touch with us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear a message from our friend, Dr. Al Mohler, who is a part of <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>. He is one of the people we speak to in that series. We\u2019re going to hear some thoughts from him about God\u2019s design for marriage. What did God have in mind when he brought the man and woman together for the very first marriage?\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear that tomorrow. Hope you can be here for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303355","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303355"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303355"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303355"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303355"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}