{"id":303315,"date":"2014-12-19T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-12-19T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/finding-the-one\/"},"modified":"2014-12-19T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-12-19T17:00:00","slug":"finding-the-one","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-the-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding &#8220;The One&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Clarence Shuler talks about his courtship with his wife. Clarence encourages singles to enter a relationship with eyes open and hearts guarded until they know for sure that they&#8217;ve found the one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-12-19.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.03M","filesize_raw":"26248409","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817],"tags":[5562,5560,4578,2644,5561],"podcast_series":[8054],"cwp_profile":[9363],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303315","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","tag-dear-clarence-letter","tag-not-self-worship","tag-self-worth","tag-singleness","tag-struggle-with-contentment","podcast_series-single-and-free-to-be-me","cwp_profile-clarence-shuler","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303315\/finding-the-one","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303315\/finding-the-one","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"yv8A598FcI\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-the-one\/\">Finding &#8220;The One&#8221;<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-the-one\/embed\/#?secret=yv8A598FcI\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Finding &#8220;The One&#8221;&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"yv8A598FcI\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-12-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-12-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019ve all heard people, in the early stages of a romantic relationship, talk about being \u201chead over heels\u201d for someone else. Dr. Clarence Schuler says singles need to make sure that their new romantic relationship doesn\u2019t crowd out their love for Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> If He\u2019s not number one, you\u2019re not going to your best in that relationship. It\u2019s going to cause problems down the road. So, I try to affirm with them\u2014not preach at people right away \/ you know, give some distance\u2014but: \u201cDoes God really love you? Does God really want the best for you? It could be that He\u2019s protecting you. You know, sometimes He\u2019s just protecting us from ourselves because we don\u2019t really know. And, then, it\u2019s not so much that God is holding out on you\u2014maybe He\u2019s holding His best for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, December 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to talk to Clarence Shuler today about singles navigating the sometimes treacherous waters of dating relationships. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Do you remember back, when you were dating in high school or in college, and some girls would say, \u201cLet\u2019s just be friends\u201d? Do you remember that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was always the worst; wasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was the worst. What that meant was, \u201cIf I never see you again, I would be okay with that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right! It\u2019s like: \u201cThis is not going anywhere. You need to go somewhere.\u201d [Laughter] Well, this happened to a friend of ours, who joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Dr. Clarence Shuler joins us again on the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it happened many times to you; didn\u2019t it? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You share a story in your book\u2014I couldn\u2019t believe you were this honest\u2014but you dated, in and out, and you had this girl\u2014that you said, \u201cYou know, I just want to be a friend with you,\u201d\u2014and then you did the unthinkable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTell our listeners\u2014go ahead! Tell them how this came about and then what you did. And this is so typical, folks\u2014this is how we, as young men, think. We just don\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Think!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014at all. We don\u2019t get it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> This is my last interview! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So was this while you were in college or when? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> No, it was after seminary. Brenda and I had actually broken up. I had moved to a new place and\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Brenda is the woman you went on to marry, eventually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> That\u2019s my wife; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You dated her for how long?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> We dated for a semester and then broke up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Then broke up\u2014why did you break up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> She wrote me a \u201cDear Clarence\u201d letter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, she\u2019s the one who said, \u201cWe just need to be friends.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> No, she didn\u2019t say \u201c\u2026be friends,\u201d\u2014she just broke up. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You would have taken \u201cfriends,\u201d at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, I felt like God had told me, on the third date\u2014that she was the one I was going to marry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> And so, she broke up with no reasons why. I am like, \u201cDid I miss hearing God?\u201d I mean, I was in love with her; and it just blew me away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was it. She was still in seminary\u2014I had taken a job because I had graduated\u2014I went to Oklahoma.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you met somebody else, and developed a friendship, and said, \u201cI just want to be your friend\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes, that was so cold. I met this girl and\u2014to protect myself from getting hurt\u2014I said, \u201cWe\u2019d just be friends.\u201d To protect myself, I said, \u201cHey, what are the ground rules here?\u201d I said, \u201cIs kissing okay?\u201d or whatever. She would say, \u201cYes.\u201d I would say, \u201cAre you sure?\u201d She would say, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t mean anything to me.\u201d I would say, \u201cOkay; fine.\u201d That\u2019s about as much of the benefit as I had. I developed a relationship with this girl and\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let\u2019s just be friends, but we\u2019ll kiss?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014with benefits.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> That was the benefit, but we didn\u2019t go any further than that. We dated for a while, and I would be at her house a lot. Her dad is a pastor\u2014her mother\u2019s great. This thing started getting more serious than I anticipated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> You know? The dad would start calling me \u201cson\u201d and kind of looking at me. I was kind of just uncomfortable\u2014I felt that they wanted it to go somewhere. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was a great girl, but I just knew I wasn\u2019t going to marry her; you know? I just\u2014one day, said, \u201cHey, you know, I think we need to kind of stop seeing each other.\u201d She just broke down and she said, \u201cWell, didn\u2019t all of our kissing and stuff\u2014didn\u2019t that <em>mean<\/em> anything to you?\u201d You know, it didn\u2019t\u2014it was just physical.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well now, wait a second. It wasn\u2019t a handshake kiss.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It wasn\u2019t like it was a peck on the cheek. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> It was not a peck on the cheek.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were protecting yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> <em>But<\/em> you hadn\u2019t protected her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> It didn\u2019t cross my mind because, when she said that, I felt okay. Then I learned afterward\u2014unfortunately, a painful lesson for me and more for her\u2014that the physical does mean a commitment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Especially for girls\u2014it really is more of a commitment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> But I did not know that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And even if she says:\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Even if she says it\u2014doesn\u2019t mean anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWe\u2019ll just be friends\u2014it doesn\u2019t mean anything.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> It meant something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> And that was something I\u2019m not proud of.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you did, eventually, reconnect with the woman who had written the \u201cDear Clarence\u201d letter to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> [Laughter] Yes, I did\u2014yes, I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How did that happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I still had friends in seminary. One of my best buds\u2014I went down to see him, periodically. It was springtime\u2014school was almost out. I was with him. Brenda and one of her friends walked by and said, \u201cHi.\u201d You know, we were casual\u2014I\u2019m not even sure how it came out that we were going to go out. So I really don\u2019t remember asking her\u2014but anyway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Clarence! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Ya\u2019ll shut up! This is my story! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is <em>our <\/em>program! [Laughter] Don\u2019t start pushing back!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> That was a bad move! But anyway, I go to pick her up that night; and she\u2019s dressed to kill\u2014but I don\u2019t pay any attention because we broke up and hadn\u2019t really talked much. We go see a movie\u2014which I paid for and I take her to dinner. I\u2019m going to pay for that because I\u2019m working. She said, \u201cWell don\u2019t pay for dinner because I don\u2019t want you to spend all of your money.\u201d I said: \u201cWell, you\u2019re in school\u2014I\u2019ve got a job. This is probably the last time I\u2019m ever going to see you, so what\u2019s the big deal?\u201d After that, she said\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now wait a second.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did you really think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you fishing when you said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> No\u2014no, I was not. You know, God had shown me some things that we both needed to work on during this thing, but I didn\u2019t think we were going to get back together. I just felt that, in my mind; but then, after dinner, she said, \u201cWill you come back to the house?\u201d I went back to the house and she said, \u201cYou know, God has shown me some things that I needed to work on.\u201d Everything that she said, God had shown me. And she said, \u201cCan we start seeing each other again?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, you know, I\u2019m in Oklahoma\u2014you\u2019re here.\u201d I had a lot of mothers in the church\u2014so she stayed with a couple I knew\u2014she would stay when she would come up, and we would talk, and I would go do ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And the rest is history.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> And the rest is history; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now I don\u2019t want it just to be history\u2014I want to know how you asked her to marry you. Given the go\/stop\/go again\u2014did you do it right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, I don\u2019t know if I did it right or not; but I did it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It worked. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> It worked. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut she was really frustrated with me because I hadn\u2019t asked her to marry me\u2014she really felt it was there. When God just really confirmed, \u201cYes, you need to do that,\u201d I went down to Fort Worth and got with her and got my ring\u2014really small ring because I had a really small salary. [Laughter] I sat down and\u2014I mean, she knew I loved her \/ she knew we were in love with each other. I asked her if she would marry me. It was very simple\u2014not a lot of fanfare. She said, \u201cYes\u201d; and I was a happy camper. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Clarence, one of the issues that\u2014as you talk with singles\u2014one of the issues that continues to emerge for them is an issue you\u2019ve just described for us\u2014and that\u2019s the issue of heartbreak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The issue of being in a relationship\u2014becoming emotionally-connected with another person\u2014and maybe there\u2019s been some physical interaction. In fact, in today\u2019s world, it\u2019s more likely that there has been physical interaction. It\u2019s more likely that it\u2019s gone farther than just kissing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And then something happens. I was at breakfast with a young man, recently, who told me that he had gotten a call from his girlfriend. She had said, \u201cI need to talk to you.\u201d He could sense, on the phone, what was coming. He said: \u201cHere\u2019s what I\u2019m feeling like. I\u2019m feeling like I\u2019m just going through this terrible pain. I want to go share it with my best friend, and my best friend is the person who just broke up with me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Can a single person protect himself or herself from that kind of pain? Should they try to? How do they deal with it when it does happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, you said two things\u2014one, if they\u2019ve been friends for a long time and started dating, it\u2019s a little bit of a different situation than if they\u2019re just friends. But if they\u2019re in a relationship, and they\u2019re\u2014what I call: \u201cseriously in like\u201d\u2014and they think they\u2019re heading somewhere, and one of them breaks it off\u2014what I recommend to singles is that it\u2019s really important to have a support system. That could be their family. If they don\u2019t have a great family, it could be a close friend\u2014it could be a combination\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014where they can sit down and talk to them and just kind of\u2014I won\u2019t say that vent is the best word\u2014but kind of rehash what happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> So they can process and stuff like that. Then, as they process that, I think the support group has to have the relationship where you can say things they don\u2019t want to hear but need to hear\u2014I think that\u2019s really important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was with a FamilyLife staff who picked me up from the airport. He was saying that his daughter is starting to date somebody, but one of the sisters\/siblings didn\u2019t necessarily approve\u2014or two of the siblings didn\u2019t approve. So they\u2019re kind of at crosshairs, trying to figure it out. Your support group can help you say, \u201cThis is a good person,\u201d or \u201c\u2026not\u2026\u201d Like I think I was saying on another program\u2014my mother and sister kind of vetoed the girl I was dating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> So you\u2019re still going to have the pain of feeling rejection; but, as you begin to work through and process that, I think it kind of helps you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you saying here that it does take a community?\u2014that you shouldn\u2019t be in relationships without there being a broader community engaged?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, yes. I think the Bible is all about community, and accountability, and responsibility. I recommend, if possible, to even have a couple you\u2019re accountable to while you\u2019re dating\u2014if it\u2019s not your folks\u2014about who you\u2019re dating and kind of what\u2019s going on in the dating relationship so you have some kind of help because we don\u2019t know how to really do all of this by ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s really important. And that support group can begin to help you with that process. They can say: \u201cWhat happened? What did you think happened? How did you guys communicate?\u2014blah,blah,blah\u2026\u201d Because, sometimes, we think it\u2019s the good ol\u2019 days and the good ol\u2019 days weren\u2019t all that good. They can maybe help you see that this is a good thing or \u201cWe don\u2019t understand what happened, but it\u2019s not the end of the world.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and here\u2019s the thing\u2014if you do involve others, you have to maintain a teachable heart\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> That\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to hear what they say and their observations about the relationship\u2014about how you two are getting along \/ the other person\u2014and their observations about the young man or the young lady. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can\u2019t turn a deaf ear because of people saying something you don\u2019t want to hear. Some are in love with love and don\u2019t want to hear anything. They are about to make the biggest mistake in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, you need someone to encourage you; but again, a trust factor is really important. When people don\u2019t have that accountability, they tend to get more physical. What people don\u2019t often realize is that the more physical you get before marriage\u2014it\u2019s almost the beginning of the end of that relationship\u2014the consequences are really great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It confuses the issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, it does because you can\u2019t make an objective deal because you have this feeling\u2014if you\u2019ve been sexually intimate\u2014\u201cI enjoy this,\u201d so you can\u2019t really be objective about, \u201cBut is she or he the right person?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, one of the things we talk about at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is that the whole idea of communication\u2014you avoid conflict so you can be intimate. You may be physically intimate, but you\u2019re not emotionally or spiritually intimate. So, you get married and you really don\u2019t know each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to make sure we come back to this subject\u2014but you hit on something I want you to comment on because you\u2019ve spoken at nearly 100 <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways over the past 14 years. Talk to the singles, who are listening right now, about how important it would be, from your perspective, to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> with their fianc\u00e9 or with someone they\u2019re in a serious dating relationship with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, I think going to a FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> conference, as a single, with someone that you\u2019re dating very seriously or you plan to marry\u2014there are two sessions designed, just with you in mind. One is where you\u2019re just with women and you talk to the female speaker\u2014you can ask any kind of question. The other is where you\u2019re in a co-ed situation. The whole conference on communication, conflict, sex\u2014all of this is really important to help you see, \u201cIs this where we really want to be?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell them that the conference, for you, is to confirm: \u201cHey, you guys really should go ahead and get married,\u201d or it\u2019s to confirm: \u201cThis is the right person, but you need to wait,\u201d or, for some, it can confirm: \u201cYou guys really should not get married.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is better to break up than to get married and get divorced. So, I would encourage everyone to come. Most of the premarrieds who come say it\u2019s priceless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> In fact, I\u2019ve actually met premarrieds who\u2019ve come, you know, before they are married\u2014then, I\u2019ve met some again after they\u2019re married\u2014it\u2019s a whole different perspective\u2014it helps them because now it\u2019s a whole different deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I\u2019ve had couples come up to me and say, \u201cThis is my second <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014the first one I came to with the wrong person.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I\u2019ve heard that too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWe broke up. Thank you for what you teach because you gave me the wisdom of Scripture and coaching to enable me and to encourage me to break it off.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I think the point here is that a lot of singles get in relationships where the relationship is isolated from everything else that\u2019s going on in their lives. They\u2019re not talking with their friends about, \u201cHere\u2019s what\u2019s going on in the relationship.\u201d Or they\u2019re not getting wise counsel from other people who know both of them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that happens, you\u2019re really limiting what kind of objective input can be brought in. You\u2019re left to take your clouded emotional view of the relationship and try to discern, \u201cWhere should we go with this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, my kids told me this\u2014they had \u201cheard all of our stuff.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. So when they were getting ready to get married, it wasn\u2019t that Barbara and I sat our kids down, one by one, as they decided to get married so they could hear our stuff again. [Laughter] We sent them to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> where they could hear our stuff from somebody else\u2014it wasn\u2019t a conference where Barbara and I were speaking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell you what\u2014I don\u2019t know what they would consider their best wedding gift\u2014but I have to believe that for couples, who invest in getting the right blueprints from the Bible, at the front-end of the relationship\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014while they\u2019re dating,\u00a0 maybe while they\u2019re engaged \/ before they tie the knot\u2014getting those blueprints and knowing them\u2014both as male and female \/ as future husband and future wife\u2014hearing those and having those to build your home from. That doesn\u2019t guarantee you won\u2019t become a statistic, but I have to believe it diminishes and decreases the chance of you becoming a statistic because of not knowing what God expected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> When I used to work for the African American Healthy Marriage Initiative that the government had going, one of their research statistics showed that premarital counseling of some kind increased your chance of staying married almost 75 percent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> So, I say you can actually use the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> as that or in addition to it because it asks you tough questions you\u2019re not going to ask each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Clarence, let me go back to the break-up scenario for singles. If you\u2019re sitting down with a young man or a young woman, who\u2019s in the midst of the heartache\u2014the break-up has happened and the loneliness, and desperation, and the \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d kinds of questions are starting to pop in\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014what kind of counsel do you give that young man or that young woman?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, depending on the relationship, I say: \u201cI understand you have the pain. I\u2019ve had it\u2014not that I know how you feel\u2014but I understand rejection and breaking up from someone. But there are a couple of things I want you to process,\u201d\u2014especially to a Christ-follower\u2014\u201cIt\u2019s easy for me to say, right now, but it\u2019s really true\u2014I want you to see what God thinks of you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I take them to Psalm 139, verses 13-16: \u201cIn the New Living Translation, when it talks about God creating us, He calls you \u2018marvelous.\u2019\u201d I say, \u201cThink about it\u2014the God of all creation calls you marvelous in the midst of your pain.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I say: \u201cAnd in the last verse, it talks about how God has planned out your whole life. He has a destiny for you.\u201d And I share a little quote\u2014I say, \u201cListen, don\u2019t let the pain of your past punish your present, paralyze your future, or pervert your purpose because God has a godly destiny for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I say: \u201cNow, we\u2019re going to have to work through the emotional pain of this, but consider that that person who broke up with you was not God\u2019s best for you. Consider that you were probably not God\u2019s best for them. So, if you really cared about this person that much, I think God may very well have somebody even better for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> \u201cBut I want you to understand how God sees you. You\u2019re not \u2018less than.\u2019 There\u2019s not something wrong with you\u2014that you have value. So, during this time, as you process this, take some time for self-discovery. What do you think\u2014not that you did something wrong\u2014but what do you think God may be trying to teach you through this? What are some take-aways from that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNow, you\u2019re no longer dating that person; but that person, while you were dating them, did they help you become more Christ-like? If so\u2014how? Were you able to help them? Do you think dating that person made you better for your future mate?\u201d So there are just a lot of questions that we go through like that and, you know, those are important questions. Some, though, struggle with letting go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes the \u201cbeing in love\/being in love\u201d becomes\u2014the relationship becomes idolatrous because it\u2019s actually more important than their relationship to God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Another thing\u2014if He\u2019s not number one, you\u2019re not going to be your best in that relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> It\u2019s going to cause problems down the road. So, I try to affirm with them\u2014not preach at people right away\u2014give some distance\u2014but: \u201cDoes God really love you? Does God really want the best for you? It could be that He\u2019s protecting you. You know, sometimes He\u2019s just protecting us from ourselves because we don\u2019t really know. And, then, it\u2019s not so much that maybe God is holding out on you\u2014maybe He\u2019s holding His best for you. God can see things we can\u2019t see.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs they begin to process some of that, they can begin to say, \u201cOh.\u201d It\u2019s not right the next day\u2014it may take some time until you walk with them and let them work through their wounds. As they begin to take time and the healing begins, then you can begin to talk to them and meet them where they are and kind of walk them through it; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Then, at my conferences, what I try to tell people is: \u201cYou know, marriage is not utopia\u2014the goal in life is not getting married. The goal in life is your relationship with Jesus Christ,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014which can include that\u2014but I just think it\u2019s important for people not to feel \u201cless than\u201d because people will say, \u201cIf I just get married, everything is going to be perfect.\u201d Well, at the FamilyLife conference, we say: \u201cHey, being married doesn\u2019t make you perfect. You\u2019ve still got to work at this thing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, marriage is between two imperfect people who, hopefully, know the Savior and have His blueprints for how you build a successful marriage and family. There is hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There really is hope if you have that. You know, there\u2019s one last point I want to make on today\u2019s broadcast; but I want Bob to make sure and tell listeners how they can get a copy of your book, Clarence, and then I want to come back and make a comment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And about how to get more information about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway as well, where Clarence and his wife Brenda are among the couples who speak at these events. Whether it\u2019s for singles or for couples who are already married, the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway gives a couple a great opportunity to focus on God\u2019s design for marriage and understand the biblical blueprints for building a stronger marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether you are considering marriage, as a single person, or whether you\u2019ve been married for decades, the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> helps you refocus and recalibrate on God\u2019s design for the marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking to our team recently and I said: \u201cIs there a way we could make a special offer for some last-minute Christmas gift-buyers\u2014where they could get a gift certificate to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and give it as a Christmas gift\u2014either to a couple they know who are dating and thinking about marriage or planning a marriage in the spring\u2014or for themselves, where a husband and wife can get away for a great weekend together?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur team decided to put together a two-day special, and today\u2019s the last day for this special. So, if you\u2019d like to give your spouse, or your fianc\u00e9, or a couple you know who\u2019s planning to get married\u2014if you\u2019d like to give them the gift of a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> as a Christmas gift\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link at the top of the page that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find information about the special offer that we\u2019re making for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gift card to be used as a Christmas gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, today\u2019s the last day for the special offer\u2014so if you want to take advantage of that, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, if you\u2019re interested in a copy of Clarence Shuler\u2019s book, <em>Single and Free to Be Me<\/em>, that\u2019s available on our website as well. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order from the web or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to get a copy of Clarence Shuler\u2019s book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, finally, a quick reminder that, two weeks from now, it will be the new year. I know some of you have been thinking about\u2014maybe even praying about\u2014the possibility of making a yearend contribution to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. If God has used this ministry in your life\u2014in your family \/ in your marriage in some way\u2014in the past year, would you consider making a yearend contribution to support the work that we are doing into the new year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, would be a very strategic time to do that because we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have put together a matching-gift fund. They have agreed to match every donation we receive, between now and the end of the year, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $2,000,000. So we\u2019re hoping we can take full advantage of that matching gift. We need to hear from you if that\u2019s going to happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can simply go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make a yearend contribution. Click in the upper right-hand corner of the screen, where it says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make an online donation. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014you can make your donation over the phone. Again, it\u2019s 1-800-358-6329. Or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s been our privilege to have Clarence Shuler, a good friend, here with us this week. Clarence, I want to thank you for your work. I mentioned I had one other comment. I\u2019ve got a couple of comments for the listeners, here, as we close the broadcast. First of all, I want you to know that this kind of broadcast\u2014this is what we\u2019re about\u2014we want to help single people build on the right foundation with the right blueprints. That\u2019s what FamilyLife is all about, as a ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We want to help married folks continue to build on that blueprint; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014and, in the process, be transformed. When you give to this ministry, financially, you keep us on the air doing that. I want to tell you\u2014I think it\u2019s important. I think single people today need to hear these broadcasts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing I wanted to mention is\u2014I just wanted to mention something we haven\u2019t talked about today that I just feel impressed to share, here, at the end of the broadcast. The Scripture really warns us against marrying somebody who is not in the family\u2014who is not a personal follower of Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt talks about being \u201cunequally yoked\u201d in Scripture. I want to tell you\u2014you may think you\u2019re in love \/ you may think you can march off across the most romantic vistas you\u2019ve ever imagined and off into the horizon with this person because you two will not be like anybody else\u2014but I\u2019m going to tell you something\u2014if you haven\u2019t settled the issue\u2014together, as individuals, and then corporately, as a couple: \u201cWho\u2019s the Master? Whose blueprints are we going to build according to?\u201d\u2014if he\u2019s building off a different set than you are, then you\u2019re headed for real trouble.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.03M"],"filesize_raw":["26248409"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303315.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303315.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Shuler talks about his courtship with his wife. Clarence encourages singles to enter a relationship with eyes open and hearts guarded until they know for sure that they've found the one.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-12-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019ve all heard people, in the early stages of a romantic relationship, talk about being \u201chead over heels\u201d for someone else. Dr. Clarence Schuler says singles need to make sure that their new romantic relationship doesn\u2019t crowd out their love for Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> If He\u2019s not number one, you\u2019re not going to your best in that relationship. It\u2019s going to cause problems down the road. So, I try to affirm with them\u2014not preach at people right away \/ you know, give some distance\u2014but: \u201cDoes God really love you? Does God really want the best for you? It could be that He\u2019s protecting you. You know, sometimes He\u2019s just protecting us from ourselves because we don\u2019t really know. And, then, it\u2019s not so much that God is holding out on you\u2014maybe He\u2019s holding His best for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, December 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to talk to Clarence Shuler today about singles navigating the sometimes treacherous waters of dating relationships. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Do you remember back, when you were dating in high school or in college, and some girls would say, \u201cLet\u2019s just be friends\u201d? Do you remember that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was always the worst; wasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was the worst. What that meant was, \u201cIf I never see you again, I would be okay with that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right! It\u2019s like: \u201cThis is not going anywhere. You need to go somewhere.\u201d [Laughter] Well, this happened to a friend of ours, who joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Dr. Clarence Shuler joins us again on the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it happened many times to you; didn\u2019t it? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You share a story in your book\u2014I couldn\u2019t believe you were this honest\u2014but you dated, in and out, and you had this girl\u2014that you said, \u201cYou know, I just want to be a friend with you,\u201d\u2014and then you did the unthinkable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTell our listeners\u2014go ahead! Tell them how this came about and then what you did. And this is so typical, folks\u2014this is how we, as young men, think. We just don\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Think!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014at all. We don\u2019t get it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> This is my last interview! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So was this while you were in college or when? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> No, it was after seminary. Brenda and I had actually broken up. I had moved to a new place and\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Brenda is the woman you went on to marry, eventually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> That\u2019s my wife; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You dated her for how long?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> We dated for a semester and then broke up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Then broke up\u2014why did you break up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> She wrote me a \u201cDear Clarence\u201d letter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, she\u2019s the one who said, \u201cWe just need to be friends.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> No, she didn\u2019t say \u201c\u2026be friends,\u201d\u2014she just broke up. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You would have taken \u201cfriends,\u201d at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, I felt like God had told me, on the third date\u2014that she was the one I was going to marry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> And so, she broke up with no reasons why. I am like, \u201cDid I miss hearing God?\u201d I mean, I was in love with her; and it just blew me away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was it. She was still in seminary\u2014I had taken a job because I had graduated\u2014I went to Oklahoma.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you met somebody else, and developed a friendship, and said, \u201cI just want to be your friend\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes, that was so cold. I met this girl and\u2014to protect myself from getting hurt\u2014I said, \u201cWe\u2019d just be friends.\u201d To protect myself, I said, \u201cHey, what are the ground rules here?\u201d I said, \u201cIs kissing okay?\u201d or whatever. She would say, \u201cYes.\u201d I would say, \u201cAre you sure?\u201d She would say, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t mean anything to me.\u201d I would say, \u201cOkay; fine.\u201d That\u2019s about as much of the benefit as I had. I developed a relationship with this girl and\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let\u2019s just be friends, but we\u2019ll kiss?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014with benefits.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> That was the benefit, but we didn\u2019t go any further than that. We dated for a while, and I would be at her house a lot. Her dad is a pastor\u2014her mother\u2019s great. This thing started getting more serious than I anticipated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> You know? The dad would start calling me \u201cson\u201d and kind of looking at me. I was kind of just uncomfortable\u2014I felt that they wanted it to go somewhere. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was a great girl, but I just knew I wasn\u2019t going to marry her; you know? I just\u2014one day, said, \u201cHey, you know, I think we need to kind of stop seeing each other.\u201d She just broke down and she said, \u201cWell, didn\u2019t all of our kissing and stuff\u2014didn\u2019t that <em>mean<\/em> anything to you?\u201d You know, it didn\u2019t\u2014it was just physical.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well now, wait a second. It wasn\u2019t a handshake kiss.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It wasn\u2019t like it was a peck on the cheek. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> It was not a peck on the cheek.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were protecting yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> <em>But<\/em> you hadn\u2019t protected her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> It didn\u2019t cross my mind because, when she said that, I felt okay. Then I learned afterward\u2014unfortunately, a painful lesson for me and more for her\u2014that the physical does mean a commitment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Especially for girls\u2014it really is more of a commitment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> But I did not know that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And even if she says:\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Even if she says it\u2014doesn\u2019t mean anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWe\u2019ll just be friends\u2014it doesn\u2019t mean anything.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> It meant something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> And that was something I\u2019m not proud of.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you did, eventually, reconnect with the woman who had written the \u201cDear Clarence\u201d letter to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> [Laughter] Yes, I did\u2014yes, I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How did that happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I still had friends in seminary. One of my best buds\u2014I went down to see him, periodically. It was springtime\u2014school was almost out. I was with him. Brenda and one of her friends walked by and said, \u201cHi.\u201d You know, we were casual\u2014I\u2019m not even sure how it came out that we were going to go out. So I really don\u2019t remember asking her\u2014but anyway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Clarence! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Ya\u2019ll shut up! This is my story! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is <em>our <\/em>program! [Laughter] Don\u2019t start pushing back!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> That was a bad move! But anyway, I go to pick her up that night; and she\u2019s dressed to kill\u2014but I don\u2019t pay any attention because we broke up and hadn\u2019t really talked much. We go see a movie\u2014which I paid for and I take her to dinner. I\u2019m going to pay for that because I\u2019m working. She said, \u201cWell don\u2019t pay for dinner because I don\u2019t want you to spend all of your money.\u201d I said: \u201cWell, you\u2019re in school\u2014I\u2019ve got a job. This is probably the last time I\u2019m ever going to see you, so what\u2019s the big deal?\u201d After that, she said\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now wait a second.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did you really think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you fishing when you said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> No\u2014no, I was not. You know, God had shown me some things that we both needed to work on during this thing, but I didn\u2019t think we were going to get back together. I just felt that, in my mind; but then, after dinner, she said, \u201cWill you come back to the house?\u201d I went back to the house and she said, \u201cYou know, God has shown me some things that I needed to work on.\u201d Everything that she said, God had shown me. And she said, \u201cCan we start seeing each other again?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, you know, I\u2019m in Oklahoma\u2014you\u2019re here.\u201d I had a lot of mothers in the church\u2014so she stayed with a couple I knew\u2014she would stay when she would come up, and we would talk, and I would go do ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And the rest is history.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> And the rest is history; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now I don\u2019t want it just to be history\u2014I want to know how you asked her to marry you. Given the go\/stop\/go again\u2014did you do it right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, I don\u2019t know if I did it right or not; but I did it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It worked. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> It worked. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut she was really frustrated with me because I hadn\u2019t asked her to marry me\u2014she really felt it was there. When God just really confirmed, \u201cYes, you need to do that,\u201d I went down to Fort Worth and got with her and got my ring\u2014really small ring because I had a really small salary. [Laughter] I sat down and\u2014I mean, she knew I loved her \/ she knew we were in love with each other. I asked her if she would marry me. It was very simple\u2014not a lot of fanfare. She said, \u201cYes\u201d; and I was a happy camper. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Clarence, one of the issues that\u2014as you talk with singles\u2014one of the issues that continues to emerge for them is an issue you\u2019ve just described for us\u2014and that\u2019s the issue of heartbreak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The issue of being in a relationship\u2014becoming emotionally-connected with another person\u2014and maybe there\u2019s been some physical interaction. In fact, in today\u2019s world, it\u2019s more likely that there has been physical interaction. It\u2019s more likely that it\u2019s gone farther than just kissing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And then something happens. I was at breakfast with a young man, recently, who told me that he had gotten a call from his girlfriend. She had said, \u201cI need to talk to you.\u201d He could sense, on the phone, what was coming. He said: \u201cHere\u2019s what I\u2019m feeling like. I\u2019m feeling like I\u2019m just going through this terrible pain. I want to go share it with my best friend, and my best friend is the person who just broke up with me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Can a single person protect himself or herself from that kind of pain? Should they try to? How do they deal with it when it does happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, you said two things\u2014one, if they\u2019ve been friends for a long time and started dating, it\u2019s a little bit of a different situation than if they\u2019re just friends. But if they\u2019re in a relationship, and they\u2019re\u2014what I call: \u201cseriously in like\u201d\u2014and they think they\u2019re heading somewhere, and one of them breaks it off\u2014what I recommend to singles is that it\u2019s really important to have a support system. That could be their family. If they don\u2019t have a great family, it could be a close friend\u2014it could be a combination\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014where they can sit down and talk to them and just kind of\u2014I won\u2019t say that vent is the best word\u2014but kind of rehash what happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> So they can process and stuff like that. Then, as they process that, I think the support group has to have the relationship where you can say things they don\u2019t want to hear but need to hear\u2014I think that\u2019s really important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was with a FamilyLife staff who picked me up from the airport. He was saying that his daughter is starting to date somebody, but one of the sisters\/siblings didn\u2019t necessarily approve\u2014or two of the siblings didn\u2019t approve. So they\u2019re kind of at crosshairs, trying to figure it out. Your support group can help you say, \u201cThis is a good person,\u201d or \u201c\u2026not\u2026\u201d Like I think I was saying on another program\u2014my mother and sister kind of vetoed the girl I was dating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> So you\u2019re still going to have the pain of feeling rejection; but, as you begin to work through and process that, I think it kind of helps you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you saying here that it does take a community?\u2014that you shouldn\u2019t be in relationships without there being a broader community engaged?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, yes. I think the Bible is all about community, and accountability, and responsibility. I recommend, if possible, to even have a couple you\u2019re accountable to while you\u2019re dating\u2014if it\u2019s not your folks\u2014about who you\u2019re dating and kind of what\u2019s going on in the dating relationship so you have some kind of help because we don\u2019t know how to really do all of this by ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s really important. And that support group can begin to help you with that process. They can say: \u201cWhat happened? What did you think happened? How did you guys communicate?\u2014blah,blah,blah\u2026\u201d Because, sometimes, we think it\u2019s the good ol\u2019 days and the good ol\u2019 days weren\u2019t all that good. They can maybe help you see that this is a good thing or \u201cWe don\u2019t understand what happened, but it\u2019s not the end of the world.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and here\u2019s the thing\u2014if you do involve others, you have to maintain a teachable heart\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> That\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to hear what they say and their observations about the relationship\u2014about how you two are getting along \/ the other person\u2014and their observations about the young man or the young lady. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can\u2019t turn a deaf ear because of people saying something you don\u2019t want to hear. Some are in love with love and don\u2019t want to hear anything. They are about to make the biggest mistake in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, you need someone to encourage you; but again, a trust factor is really important. When people don\u2019t have that accountability, they tend to get more physical. What people don\u2019t often realize is that the more physical you get before marriage\u2014it\u2019s almost the beginning of the end of that relationship\u2014the consequences are really great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It confuses the issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, it does because you can\u2019t make an objective deal because you have this feeling\u2014if you\u2019ve been sexually intimate\u2014\u201cI enjoy this,\u201d so you can\u2019t really be objective about, \u201cBut is she or he the right person?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, one of the things we talk about at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is that the whole idea of communication\u2014you avoid conflict so you can be intimate. You may be physically intimate, but you\u2019re not emotionally or spiritually intimate. So, you get married and you really don\u2019t know each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to make sure we come back to this subject\u2014but you hit on something I want you to comment on because you\u2019ve spoken at nearly 100 <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways over the past 14 years. Talk to the singles, who are listening right now, about how important it would be, from your perspective, to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> with their fianc\u00e9 or with someone they\u2019re in a serious dating relationship with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, I think going to a FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> conference, as a single, with someone that you\u2019re dating very seriously or you plan to marry\u2014there are two sessions designed, just with you in mind. One is where you\u2019re just with women and you talk to the female speaker\u2014you can ask any kind of question. The other is where you\u2019re in a co-ed situation. The whole conference on communication, conflict, sex\u2014all of this is really important to help you see, \u201cIs this where we really want to be?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell them that the conference, for you, is to confirm: \u201cHey, you guys really should go ahead and get married,\u201d or it\u2019s to confirm: \u201cThis is the right person, but you need to wait,\u201d or, for some, it can confirm: \u201cYou guys really should not get married.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is better to break up than to get married and get divorced. So, I would encourage everyone to come. Most of the premarrieds who come say it\u2019s priceless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> In fact, I\u2019ve actually met premarrieds who\u2019ve come, you know, before they are married\u2014then, I\u2019ve met some again after they\u2019re married\u2014it\u2019s a whole different perspective\u2014it helps them because now it\u2019s a whole different deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I\u2019ve had couples come up to me and say, \u201cThis is my second <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014the first one I came to with the wrong person.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I\u2019ve heard that too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWe broke up. Thank you for what you teach because you gave me the wisdom of Scripture and coaching to enable me and to encourage me to break it off.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I think the point here is that a lot of singles get in relationships where the relationship is isolated from everything else that\u2019s going on in their lives. They\u2019re not talking with their friends about, \u201cHere\u2019s what\u2019s going on in the relationship.\u201d Or they\u2019re not getting wise counsel from other people who know both of them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that happens, you\u2019re really limiting what kind of objective input can be brought in. You\u2019re left to take your clouded emotional view of the relationship and try to discern, \u201cWhere should we go with this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, my kids told me this\u2014they had \u201cheard all of our stuff.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. So when they were getting ready to get married, it wasn\u2019t that Barbara and I sat our kids down, one by one, as they decided to get married so they could hear our stuff again. [Laughter] We sent them to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> where they could hear our stuff from somebody else\u2014it wasn\u2019t a conference where Barbara and I were speaking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell you what\u2014I don\u2019t know what they would consider their best wedding gift\u2014but I have to believe that for couples, who invest in getting the right blueprints from the Bible, at the front-end of the relationship\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014while they\u2019re dating,\u00a0 maybe while they\u2019re engaged \/ before they tie the knot\u2014getting those blueprints and knowing them\u2014both as male and female \/ as future husband and future wife\u2014hearing those and having those to build your home from. That doesn\u2019t guarantee you won\u2019t become a statistic, but I have to believe it diminishes and decreases the chance of you becoming a statistic because of not knowing what God expected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> When I used to work for the African American Healthy Marriage Initiative that the government had going, one of their research statistics showed that premarital counseling of some kind increased your chance of staying married almost 75 percent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> So, I say you can actually use the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> as that or in addition to it because it asks you tough questions you\u2019re not going to ask each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Clarence, let me go back to the break-up scenario for singles. If you\u2019re sitting down with a young man or a young woman, who\u2019s in the midst of the heartache\u2014the break-up has happened and the loneliness, and desperation, and the \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d kinds of questions are starting to pop in\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014what kind of counsel do you give that young man or that young woman?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Well, depending on the relationship, I say: \u201cI understand you have the pain. I\u2019ve had it\u2014not that I know how you feel\u2014but I understand rejection and breaking up from someone. But there are a couple of things I want you to process,\u201d\u2014especially to a Christ-follower\u2014\u201cIt\u2019s easy for me to say, right now, but it\u2019s really true\u2014I want you to see what God thinks of you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I take them to Psalm 139, verses 13-16: \u201cIn the New Living Translation, when it talks about God creating us, He calls you \u2018marvelous.\u2019\u201d I say, \u201cThink about it\u2014the God of all creation calls you marvelous in the midst of your pain.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I say: \u201cAnd in the last verse, it talks about how God has planned out your whole life. He has a destiny for you.\u201d And I share a little quote\u2014I say, \u201cListen, don\u2019t let the pain of your past punish your present, paralyze your future, or pervert your purpose because God has a godly destiny for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> I say: \u201cNow, we\u2019re going to have to work through the emotional pain of this, but consider that that person who broke up with you was not God\u2019s best for you. Consider that you were probably not God\u2019s best for them. So, if you really cared about this person that much, I think God may very well have somebody even better for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> \u201cBut I want you to understand how God sees you. You\u2019re not \u2018less than.\u2019 There\u2019s not something wrong with you\u2014that you have value. So, during this time, as you process this, take some time for self-discovery. What do you think\u2014not that you did something wrong\u2014but what do you think God may be trying to teach you through this? What are some take-aways from that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNow, you\u2019re no longer dating that person; but that person, while you were dating them, did they help you become more Christ-like? If so\u2014how? Were you able to help them? Do you think dating that person made you better for your future mate?\u201d So there are just a lot of questions that we go through like that and, you know, those are important questions. Some, though, struggle with letting go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes the \u201cbeing in love\/being in love\u201d becomes\u2014the relationship becomes idolatrous because it\u2019s actually more important than their relationship to God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Another thing\u2014if He\u2019s not number one, you\u2019re not going to be your best in that relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> It\u2019s going to cause problems down the road. So, I try to affirm with them\u2014not preach at people right away\u2014give some distance\u2014but: \u201cDoes God really love you? Does God really want the best for you? It could be that He\u2019s protecting you. You know, sometimes He\u2019s just protecting us from ourselves because we don\u2019t really know. And, then, it\u2019s not so much that maybe God is holding out on you\u2014maybe He\u2019s holding His best for you. God can see things we can\u2019t see.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs they begin to process some of that, they can begin to say, \u201cOh.\u201d It\u2019s not right the next day\u2014it may take some time until you walk with them and let them work through their wounds. As they begin to take time and the healing begins, then you can begin to talk to them and meet them where they are and kind of walk them through it; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Then, at my conferences, what I try to tell people is: \u201cYou know, marriage is not utopia\u2014the goal in life is not getting married. The goal in life is your relationship with Jesus Christ,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014which can include that\u2014but I just think it\u2019s important for people not to feel \u201cless than\u201d because people will say, \u201cIf I just get married, everything is going to be perfect.\u201d Well, at the FamilyLife conference, we say: \u201cHey, being married doesn\u2019t make you perfect. You\u2019ve still got to work at this thing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, marriage is between two imperfect people who, hopefully, know the Savior and have His blueprints for how you build a successful marriage and family. There is hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clarence:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There really is hope if you have that. You know, there\u2019s one last point I want to make on today\u2019s broadcast; but I want Bob to make sure and tell listeners how they can get a copy of your book, Clarence, and then I want to come back and make a comment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And about how to get more information about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway as well, where Clarence and his wife Brenda are among the couples who speak at these events. Whether it\u2019s for singles or for couples who are already married, the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway gives a couple a great opportunity to focus on God\u2019s design for marriage and understand the biblical blueprints for building a stronger marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether you are considering marriage, as a single person, or whether you\u2019ve been married for decades, the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> helps you refocus and recalibrate on God\u2019s design for the marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking to our team recently and I said: \u201cIs there a way we could make a special offer for some last-minute Christmas gift-buyers\u2014where they could get a gift certificate to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and give it as a Christmas gift\u2014either to a couple they know who are dating and thinking about marriage or planning a marriage in the spring\u2014or for themselves, where a husband and wife can get away for a great weekend together?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur team decided to put together a two-day special, and today\u2019s the last day for this special. So, if you\u2019d like to give your spouse, or your fianc\u00e9, or a couple you know who\u2019s planning to get married\u2014if you\u2019d like to give them the gift of a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> as a Christmas gift\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link at the top of the page that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find information about the special offer that we\u2019re making for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gift card to be used as a Christmas gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, today\u2019s the last day for the special offer\u2014so if you want to take advantage of that, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, if you\u2019re interested in a copy of Clarence Shuler\u2019s book, <em>Single and Free to Be Me<\/em>, that\u2019s available on our website as well. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order from the web or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to get a copy of Clarence Shuler\u2019s book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, finally, a quick reminder that, two weeks from now, it will be the new year. I know some of you have been thinking about\u2014maybe even praying about\u2014the possibility of making a yearend contribution to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. If God has used this ministry in your life\u2014in your family \/ in your marriage in some way\u2014in the past year, would you consider making a yearend contribution to support the work that we are doing into the new year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, would be a very strategic time to do that because we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have put together a matching-gift fund. They have agreed to match every donation we receive, between now and the end of the year, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $2,000,000. So we\u2019re hoping we can take full advantage of that matching gift. We need to hear from you if that\u2019s going to happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can simply go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make a yearend contribution. Click in the upper right-hand corner of the screen, where it says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make an online donation. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014you can make your donation over the phone. Again, it\u2019s 1-800-358-6329. Or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s been our privilege to have Clarence Shuler, a good friend, here with us this week. Clarence, I want to thank you for your work. I mentioned I had one other comment. I\u2019ve got a couple of comments for the listeners, here, as we close the broadcast. First of all, I want you to know that this kind of broadcast\u2014this is what we\u2019re about\u2014we want to help single people build on the right foundation with the right blueprints. That\u2019s what FamilyLife is all about, as a ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We want to help married folks continue to build on that blueprint; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014and, in the process, be transformed. When you give to this ministry, financially, you keep us on the air doing that. I want to tell you\u2014I think it\u2019s important. I think single people today need to hear these broadcasts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing I wanted to mention is\u2014I just wanted to mention something we haven\u2019t talked about today that I just feel impressed to share, here, at the end of the broadcast. The Scripture really warns us against marrying somebody who is not in the family\u2014who is not a personal follower of Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt talks about being \u201cunequally yoked\u201d in Scripture. I want to tell you\u2014you may think you\u2019re in love \/ you may think you can march off across the most romantic vistas you\u2019ve ever imagined and off into the horizon with this person because you two will not be like anybody else\u2014but I\u2019m going to tell you something\u2014if you haven\u2019t settled the issue\u2014together, as individuals, and then corporately, as a couple: \u201cWho\u2019s the Master? Whose blueprints are we going to build according to?\u201d\u2014if he\u2019s building off a different set than you are, then you\u2019re headed for real trouble.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303315"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303315"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303315"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303315"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}