{"id":303301,"date":"2014-12-10T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-12-10T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/more-christmas-questions\/"},"modified":"2014-12-10T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-12-10T17:00:00","slug":"more-christmas-questions","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/more-christmas-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"More Christmas Questions"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis and Barbara Rainey tackle your toughest holiday questions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-12-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.8M","filesize_raw":"23905839","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2816],"tags":[5549,5547,4714,5548],"podcast_series":[8052],"cwp_profile":[3052,3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303301","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christmas","tag-12-nights-of-christmas","tag-in-laws-at-christmas","tag-romance","tag-tricky-relationship-questions","podcast_series-christmas-qa-with-dennis-and-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303301\/more-christmas-questions","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303301\/more-christmas-questions","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"EvGKOVRI0Q\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/more-christmas-questions\/\">More Christmas Questions<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/more-christmas-questions\/embed\/#?secret=EvGKOVRI0Q\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;More Christmas Questions&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"EvGKOVRI0Q\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-12-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-12-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Not everybody handles the Christmas season in the same way. Your traditions and somebody else\u2019s traditions aren\u2019t the same; right?\u00a0 What happens when the two of you get married?\u00a0 Here\u2019s Barbara Rainey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>We were no different than anybody else. Every couple comes into a marriage with two different sets of values\u2014not just about life\u2014but about Christmas. So, what my husband\u2019s mother did and fixed is different than the way my family did Christmas and et cetera. So, I didn\u2019t know those traditions \/ I didn\u2019t know those recipes\u2014I didn\u2019t know any of that. It\u2019s a ripe setup for spouses to be disappointed in one another, or to feel undervalued, or just a whole slew of things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, December 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to spend some time today answering questions from listeners about the Christmas season, about your marriage, about your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis and Barbara Rainey are here. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We see the statistics over the holiday season\u2014the season of peace, and hope, and joy\u2014the statistics say, for a lot of people, there is not much peace, there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s why people go to the movies on Christmas afternoon. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>A little peace and quiet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They\u2019ve kind of worn out the relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re spending time this week trying to deal with some of the issues that families face every year at Christmas. We\u2019ve asked your wife to come in because we\u2019re really asking her to be the expert on most of these questions because a lot of these\u2014the weight of these issues is felt more by the mom than they are by the dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They are. And I\u2019m so grateful for my wife and the load she carried. I underestimated every year what that was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I look back on our Christmases, Bob, and it felt like a marathon sprint from the day after\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014Thanksgiving all the way to Christmas Day. I mean, it was some of the most challenging days because you are juggling Christmas parties, all the events the kids are being invited to\u2014you\u2019ve got office responsibilities. It seems like something is always coming unglued at Christmastime. It is a setup for a family to be at odds with each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Barbara, we\u2019re going to direct these questions to you and let you give us your wisdom on this. The first question is about a young wife and a mother-in-law. I\u2019m just thinking that\u2014for a lot of young wives how Christmas comes off in her home\u2014she can feel like she is being evaluated \/ being graded\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014like she better perform at the same level that her mother-in-law did when she was raising the husband. Did you ever feel any of that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, I did. I felt it\u2014not so much from Dennis\u2019s mother\u2014it was more self-imposed because\u2014let\u2019s face it\u2014we were no different than anybody else. Every couple comes into a marriage with two different sets of values\u2014not just about life but about Christmas. What my husband\u2019s mother did and fixed, and the way she did Christmas, and the kinds of gifts they bought is different than the way my family did Christmas, and et cetera. I felt a lot of pressure to replicate things that my mother had done because I felt emotional attachment to those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And you knew how. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And I\u2014yes\u2014I had seen them and experienced them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, my mom had been practicing on me for 20\u2014to almost 25 years. So, she was good at what she did. So, I\u2019m evaluating you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Based on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I didn\u2019t know those traditions \/ I didn\u2019t know those recipes\u2014I didn\u2019t know any of that. So, it\u2019s a ripe setup for spouses to be disappointed in one another, or to feel undervalued, or just a whole slew of things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Is there a conversation a husband and wife can have before the holidays hit or even right now, while we\u2019re in the middle of the holidays\u2014that can help head some of that off?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I think, anytime you can have a conversation about expectations, you are ahead of the game\u2014and the earlier the better. If you can sit down and say: \u201cLet\u2019s talk about the expectations for the holidays. Where do we want to go? What do we want to do? What things do we want to say, \u2018Yes,\u2019 to? What things do we want to say, \u2018No\u2019? How many activities can our kids do?\u201d You won\u2019t avoid everything, but it will help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLooking back, I remember\u2014that no matter how much I planned\u2014and I\u2019m a planner, and I\u2019m an organizer\u2014so, I planned a lot; and I organized a lot\u2014but even though I am a planner and an organizer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I still was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things that just came in that I wasn\u2019t anticipating\u2014you know, Christmas parties for the kids and \u201cOh, yes, we\u2019ve got to have a gift for the teacher.\u201d It\u2019s the night before, and you\u2019re going: \u201cOh my gosh!\u00a0 What am I going to send with my fifth grader as a gift for the teacher?\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s just a lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And then, taking pictures for the Christmas card\u2014that was kind of what kicked it off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, that was another level. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Was trying to get all the eyes open and the grins appropriate of the eight people in our picture. That was always a massive stress-producer; and then, getting them all stamped, addressed, mailed, and out the door. I think there is not quite same emphasis on Christmas cards today as there was back then. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, the activity level is one thing. But here we are\u2014talking about a young wife, who may feel like her mother-in-law is kind of watching and grading her performance. Is there anything she can do about that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And her mother-in-law may be watching and grading her performance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>May be\u2014right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>She absolutely may be; but I think the word that I think of when I think of all of these relationships that can be so stressful at Christmas is the word, grace, because you don\u2019t know why the mother-in-law is feeling what she\u2019s feeling\u2014and you don\u2019t know that she is. You may be assuming that she is watching you, and she\u2019s not watching you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Or you may be feeling like you need to do what she did so that your husband will be happy, and maybe he doesn\u2019t care. So, it\u2019s real easy for a wife\u2014a young wife in particular\u2014to put a lot on her that nobody else is putting on her\u2014but regardless, if the mother-in-law is putting some pressure on\u2014the best thing to do is to give her grace and let her be who she is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe may be struggling because her son is grown up and gone. She may be struggling because this is the only relationship that she\u2019s got; and it\u2019s really important to her, and she doesn\u2019t know how to keep a relationship with her son. She\u2019s trying to figure out the whole empty-nest thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr maybe her hormones are going crazy because she is in menopause, and she is having hot flashes. It\u2019s so hard, when you\u2019re in your 20s or early 30s, to be empathetic to your mother-in-law\u2014it\u2019s very hard to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you should really evaluate the context of the mother-in-law, at that point. Is she divorced?\u00a0 Does she have any friends?\u00a0 Where are her relationships? And I would say\u2014if something like this continues on\u2014if it\u2019s beyond two or three years, where it looks like it\u2019s going to be a record that\u2019s repeating itself and there is going to be pressure put on your wife, it may be time for a young man to step into his mom\u2019s life and say, \u201cMom, we need to figure out a new game plan for how we approach this because this isn\u2019t working.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And that\u2019s where a young husband can be sort of an arbitrator or a mediator because he knows his wife but he also knows his mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd they don\u2019t know each other so well yet\u2014that relationship takes a long, long time. And so, if he\u2019s wise, he will try to understand his mother, and honor her, and give her grace\u2014but also, understand his wife, and honor her, and give her grace\u2014and try to help them understand each other because that\u2019s what\u2019s hard. There is no way a young woman can understand what that mother-in-law is feeling. That is a hard season\u2014that empty-nest season. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That young wife may also need to ask herself the question, \u201cAm I being overly sensitive to what\u2019s going on?\u201d because a mother-in-law can come and say, \u201cCan I help in the kitchen?\u201d and the young wife hears, \u201cYou don\u2019t think I\u2019m doing it right.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cYou think I\u2019m messing things up.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>She really has to pull back and say, \u201cMaybe, all Mom is asking is \u2018Can I help in the kitchen?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Help in the kitchen\u2014right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The Proverbs speak about all kinds of different people. There is the wise person. There is the fool. There is the na\u00efve person, and then, there is an evil person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there may be some, who are listening to our broadcast, who may have an in-law who is just mean\u2014you know, just tough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was with a couple, not long ago. The husband had to call his dad and say: \u201cDad, it is inappropriate for Mom to call my wife. It\u2019s just not working.\u201d\u00a0 And this is a person who is dealing with some mental illness, and there has to be boundaries. And Christmas is one of those times where there has to be healthy boundaries built that are appropriate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wouldn\u2019t get reactionary about this kind of thing. I\u2019d make sure you\u2019ve really prayed about it, and thought about it, and handle it in the best way possible; but you\u2019ve got your kids, in some ways, on the line here, who are watching. It needs to be done with honor and with respect, but you need to protect your wife and your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let\u2019s talk about different values because one of the questions that came in has to do with different values around\u2014well: \u201cWe\u2019re having the whole family over to our house for Christmas. That means my brother and his girlfriend\u2014who are living together\u2014are coming to our house. Do we let them use the guest room?\u00a0 Do we tell them, \u2018No\u2019?\u00a0 Do we tell them to get a hotel?\u00a0 What do we tell the kids about my brother and his girlfriend when they say, \u2018Well, they are not married!\u2019?\u00a0 How do you handle that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, we haven\u2019t had to deal with that specifically\u2014but we\u2019ve had friends who\u2019ve had to deal with a relative who drinks, or a relative who smokes, or a relative whose language isn\u2019t the kind of language we would want our children to hear. And those are very difficult situations because you can come across\u2014if you\u2019re not careful\u2014you can come across judgmental. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Self-righteous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And self-righteous and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, some of them are health issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor instance, our family\u2014smoke creates asthma attacks\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for both you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and our daughter, Ashley; and now, our grandkids. So, you\u2019ve got health issues around some of these things. And then, when you start talking about somebody who drinks in excess, I can see how that could be an issue occurring at the holidays. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>But again, they all have to be dealt with individually because you have to have both grace\u2014so that person doesn\u2019t feel condemned, or criticized, or rejected, or unloved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, how you communicate your standards \/ how you communicate your values and what you say and do is more important than the choice that you actually make. It may be that the best thing that you do is you allow that uncle, who drinks more than you wish he would, to be loved and welcomed in your home; but it may be best that he never come into your home because of the way he acts if has too much to drink. There is not a hard-and-fast rule. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is something that every couple has to evaluate and be really careful about the decision you make because, whatever your decision is, it\u2019s going to communicate. And do you want to communicate love, or do you want to communicate rejection?\u00a0 And you just have to be careful, and you have to know that your decision is going to say something\u2014it\u2019s going to send a message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s very, very important that the husband and the wife\u2014the mom and the dad\u2014be in 100 percent agreement about how to handle these situations. That may be more important than what you do. And it\u2019s back to the grace you are talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are together and you are agreeing: \u201cWe\u2019re just going to love this family\u201d or \u201c\u2026this person over the holidays. That\u2019s going to be our assignment. We\u2019re going to talk to our kids in advance; and we\u2019re going to say, \u2018You know, you are going to see some things here that we don\u2019t approve of, and we want you all to just love on them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201c\u2019because there is more than likely a hole in the heart that is trying to be met through some other type of behavior.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s really how a Christian ought to be known anyway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But what if you are not in 100 percent agreement\u2014as a husband and wife\u2014and the husband is saying: \u201cLet them use the guest room. I mean, they are living together as it is,\u201d\u2014and the wife is going, \u201cI\u2019m not comfortable with that in our home and the message it is sending for our kids\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, to the husband, I\u2019d say: \u201cYou need to pay careful attention to what your wife is expressing. Make sure you\u2019ve heard her; and then, hear her again. If necessary, a third time before you do something where you overrule what she is feeling.\u201d\u00a0 And to the wife, I\u2019d say, \u201cHave you really found a way to express this so that he can hear\u2014that he really understands what you are feeling and what\u2019s at stake here?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And what if it\u2019s a relative who is in a same-sex relationship?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Same thing\u2014I think it\u2019s the same issue. It is: \u201cHow are you going to handle it, as a couple?\u201d I know some couples who have asked relatives to stay somewhere else because they did not feel comfortable with their children being exposed to something that was against their values. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have also had friends who have rolled out the red carpet and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Opened their homes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014opened their home up to express love. Again, I don\u2019t think, on some of these issues\u2014and people could argue with me\u2014but I don\u2019t think you can turn these into a formula and make an absolute statement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I agree. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think the overriding issue is what Barbara just said earlier. It has to be grace, love, compassion, and really, modeling the heart of Christ for people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Alright, let me ask you about this one because one of our listeners wrote in and said: \u201cYou know, Christmas often feels like it\u2019s all about the kids. Your objective, as Mom and Dad, is to make sure that the kids have a great holiday; but what about Dad feeling like he\u2019s been ignored or Mom feeling like, \u2018Where was the nice gift that I wanted that I didn\u2019t get?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDid you ever have any Christmases where either of you felt like the other one didn\u2019t really pay enough attention to what the holiday should have been for you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m not sure Barbara\u2019s willing to share what the Christmas gift was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>No, I\u2019m not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014not from a negative standpoint\u2014I can sure remember one Christmas that was a bonus Christmas that\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Okay, so, before you go to that, can I answer the question first; please?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you can answer the question\u2014I just was going to state it positively\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>You can state it positively. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for the husband who is feeling left out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>But I\u2019d like to give some context. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Give some context; alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Please?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I think that\u2014[Laughter]\u2014stop laughing. I think that it\u2019s a great question because I do think that moms very\u2014without even realizing it\u2014we do get so kid-focused. I mean, it\u2019s easy to get kid-focused throughout the calendar year, granted. But it\u2019s especially difficult at Christmas because you are doing a lot of class parties, and field trips, and all kinds of Christmas activities that you don\u2019t necessarily have in another month. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you are trying to do the traditions for the sake of your kids, and you\u2019re trying to make decorating the tree special, and on, and on, and on\u2014ad infinitum. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I totally get this question that this woman has written because I think it\u2019s real easy for husbands, in particular, to feel overlooked at Christmas because they may be busy doing work \/ they may be just not interested. I mean, my dad never thought about what he was going to buy for my mother until Christmas Eve. He always came through\u2014he always got her something nice\u2014but he didn\u2019t think about it until a day or two before Christmas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I think that is often the case with a lot of men. They just kind of ignore what\u2019s going on. They kind of take a backseat. They kind of let the whole thing happen; and then, they engage at the last minute\u2014come in for a landing at the last minute. And so, it\u2019s kind of a setup for that situation to happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have to tell you a story here about a friend of mine. He shared this at church. So, I think it is fair game for everybody. But he said he used to go out and buy his wife\u2019s Christmas present at four o\u2019clock on Christmas Eve\u2014that\u2019s what he always did. And he said he often went to the same store. There was a store he liked to shop at\u2014an old store called Service Merchandise\u2014do you remember Service Merchandise?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I remember, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, he went out one Christmas Eve. He went to the jewelry counter, and he found a pin at the jewelry counter that he thought was a really nice pin\u2014something that he thought would look nice. He bought that\u2014took it home. The next morning, his wife opened that present. He said he noticed that she did not seem particularly thrilled by the pin. He paused; and he said to her, \u201cDo you not like the pin?\u201d\u00a0 And she said, \u201cWell, it\u2019s the same pin you bought me last year.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Oh gosh!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And he responded by saying, \u201cI\u2019ve never seen you wear it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s what you call\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And she said, \u201cExactly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the next day, he took two pins back to Service Merchandise\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>He took two pins. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014to try to get a refund. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s hilarious. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Our listeners know what I call that\u2014that\u2019s a rookie mistake. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s okay to make it in your rookie season\u2014it\u2019s not good in your 20<sup>th<\/sup>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s pretty bad to not remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, what can a wife do \/ or a husband do to make sure that the other person is being remembered, and thought of, and valued during the holiday season?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, you don\u2019t start at the last minute. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>You don\u2019t wait until Christmas Eve, or even the day before Christmas Eve, and then go: \u201cOh, my gosh!\u00a0 What am I going to get?\u201d\u2014or rely on one of your kids to come up with an idea or something\u2014but you don\u2019t wait until the last minute because a lot of what communicates love\u2014whether you are a man or a woman\u2014is being thought of. So, if you can think about it ahead of time\u2014ask questions if you want to ask questions if you\u2019re not sure\u2014but think about it ahead of time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and invest some time and some energy in it. That\u2019s going to make the gift more meaningful, and that\u2019s going to help that person feel loved because attention speaks love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was there ever a particular Christmas where you tried to do that with Dennis?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>There was a particular Christmas because I realized that I had kind of given him more of the leftovers. I decided, one Christmas, I would really make a statement of love\u2014and I did. I anticipated it ahead of time\u2014I thought it through. I worked hard on it, and I planned out a gift for him that was more than one gift. It was several gifts that went out over a couple of weeks actually. Was it a week\u2014a couple of weeks?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Twelve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It was called the\u2014I did \u201cThe Twelve Days of Christmas.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, it was \u201cThe Twelve <em>Nights<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>\u201cThe Twelve Nights of Christmas\u201d\u2014that\u2019s correct\u2014it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, I\u2019m starting to get the\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>You\u2019re getting the picture. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. I think this needs to be a new Ever Thine Home<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> resource!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Oh, you do!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Don\u2019t you think?\u00a0 I think many of our listeners have\u2014they would like to see your work on this for your product line; yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, probably not. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was a Christmas to remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s about all we\u2019re going to say about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s ALL we\u2019re going to say about that\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I can tell you that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, but here\u2019s the thing\u2014Barbara has done a good job of teaching me to listen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>By the way, I only did that once. Only one time, he got \u201cThe Twelve Nights of Christmas.\u201d\u00a0 No pressure on the women\u2014that\u2019s why I wanted to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s a once-in-a-lifetime occasion?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>A once-in-a-lifetime\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Rats!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut men need to use their iPhone<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014instead of doing email as their wife is talking \/ instead to make notes of, when she drops a hint, of what she\u2019d really like. It\u2019s not always necessarily expensive. It can be something you put together: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ta coupon book of certain tasks or chores that she\u2019d like to have you do around the house. I did that one year for Barbara in an attempt to kind of clean up a honey-do list that I allowed to linger too long. Some of those things can be a statement of love because your wife may really appreciate acts of service and doing things on her behalf. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut listen and write them down because Christmas Eve is not the best day of the year to be thinking about what to buy your wife. You\u2019re not going to, more than likely, hit it out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>You\u2019re not going to win. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014hit it out of the park on that one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we don\u2019t have your Twelve Nights of Christmas in the Ever Thine Home collection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>No, we don\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Dang it!\u00a0 But we do have what you\u2019ve been working on for homes and for holidays. I\u2019d encourage our listeners, \u201cGo to EverThineHome.com to see the new set of ornaments for your Christmas tree that Barbara has created, her Adorenaments<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> that are focused on the Savior names of Jesus\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014all in the shape of a cross.\u201d\u00a0 These are beautiful ornaments for the Christmas tree. You\u2019ll also see the Christmas and royal names of Jesus from previous years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have a topper for your Christmas tree\u2014The Bright and Morning Star tree topper\u2014and a lot of other resources Barbara has been working on\/developing. Go to EverThineHome.com, and you can see all that is available. You can order from us, online; or you can call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 And we can answer any questions you have about the resources Barbara has worked on, or you can order by phone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to tell you we have had some encouraging things happening, here at FamilyLife, over the last couple of weeks. We\u2019ve had a number of listeners, who have come to us to make yearend contributions, already, during the month of December. The truth is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014many of our listeners wait until the week between Christmas and New Year\u2019s to make any kind of yearend contribution, which always makes for an interesting week as we wait to see what is going to happen during that week of the year. So, it\u2019s nice to get an early yearend contribution. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we\u2019ve had some listeners, who came along and said that they would agree to match every donation that comes in in the month of December, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $2,000,000. So, we are\u2014we\u2019re encouraged by what is starting to happen this month; but as I have mentioned, this is a critical month for us. What happens in December sets the course for what we are able to do, as a ministry, in the year ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, would you consider supporting this work with a yearend contribution right now?\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make an online donation\u2014and know that that donation is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, when you do. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can make your donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr mail your donation to<em> FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. And again, we are grateful for your support of the ministry. We always look forward to hearing from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow. We\u2019re going to talk about the origins of Christmas. Phil Vischer is going to join us, and we\u2019ll have some fun with him. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.8M"],"filesize_raw":["23905839"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303301.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303301.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Barbara Rainey tackle your toughest holiday questions.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-12-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Not everybody handles the Christmas season in the same way. Your traditions and somebody else\u2019s traditions aren\u2019t the same; right?\u00a0 What happens when the two of you get married?\u00a0 Here\u2019s Barbara Rainey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>We were no different than anybody else. Every couple comes into a marriage with two different sets of values\u2014not just about life\u2014but about Christmas. So, what my husband\u2019s mother did and fixed is different than the way my family did Christmas and et cetera. So, I didn\u2019t know those traditions \/ I didn\u2019t know those recipes\u2014I didn\u2019t know any of that. It\u2019s a ripe setup for spouses to be disappointed in one another, or to feel undervalued, or just a whole slew of things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, December 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to spend some time today answering questions from listeners about the Christmas season, about your marriage, about your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis and Barbara Rainey are here. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We see the statistics over the holiday season\u2014the season of peace, and hope, and joy\u2014the statistics say, for a lot of people, there is not much peace, there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s why people go to the movies on Christmas afternoon. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>A little peace and quiet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They\u2019ve kind of worn out the relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re spending time this week trying to deal with some of the issues that families face every year at Christmas. We\u2019ve asked your wife to come in because we\u2019re really asking her to be the expert on most of these questions because a lot of these\u2014the weight of these issues is felt more by the mom than they are by the dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They are. And I\u2019m so grateful for my wife and the load she carried. I underestimated every year what that was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I look back on our Christmases, Bob, and it felt like a marathon sprint from the day after\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014Thanksgiving all the way to Christmas Day. I mean, it was some of the most challenging days because you are juggling Christmas parties, all the events the kids are being invited to\u2014you\u2019ve got office responsibilities. It seems like something is always coming unglued at Christmastime. It is a setup for a family to be at odds with each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Barbara, we\u2019re going to direct these questions to you and let you give us your wisdom on this. The first question is about a young wife and a mother-in-law. I\u2019m just thinking that\u2014for a lot of young wives how Christmas comes off in her home\u2014she can feel like she is being evaluated \/ being graded\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014like she better perform at the same level that her mother-in-law did when she was raising the husband. Did you ever feel any of that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, I did. I felt it\u2014not so much from Dennis\u2019s mother\u2014it was more self-imposed because\u2014let\u2019s face it\u2014we were no different than anybody else. Every couple comes into a marriage with two different sets of values\u2014not just about life but about Christmas. What my husband\u2019s mother did and fixed, and the way she did Christmas, and the kinds of gifts they bought is different than the way my family did Christmas, and et cetera. I felt a lot of pressure to replicate things that my mother had done because I felt emotional attachment to those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And you knew how. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And I\u2014yes\u2014I had seen them and experienced them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, my mom had been practicing on me for 20\u2014to almost 25 years. So, she was good at what she did. So, I\u2019m evaluating you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Based on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I didn\u2019t know those traditions \/ I didn\u2019t know those recipes\u2014I didn\u2019t know any of that. So, it\u2019s a ripe setup for spouses to be disappointed in one another, or to feel undervalued, or just a whole slew of things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Is there a conversation a husband and wife can have before the holidays hit or even right now, while we\u2019re in the middle of the holidays\u2014that can help head some of that off?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I think, anytime you can have a conversation about expectations, you are ahead of the game\u2014and the earlier the better. If you can sit down and say: \u201cLet\u2019s talk about the expectations for the holidays. Where do we want to go? What do we want to do? What things do we want to say, \u2018Yes,\u2019 to? What things do we want to say, \u2018No\u2019? How many activities can our kids do?\u201d You won\u2019t avoid everything, but it will help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLooking back, I remember\u2014that no matter how much I planned\u2014and I\u2019m a planner, and I\u2019m an organizer\u2014so, I planned a lot; and I organized a lot\u2014but even though I am a planner and an organizer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I still was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things that just came in that I wasn\u2019t anticipating\u2014you know, Christmas parties for the kids and \u201cOh, yes, we\u2019ve got to have a gift for the teacher.\u201d It\u2019s the night before, and you\u2019re going: \u201cOh my gosh!\u00a0 What am I going to send with my fifth grader as a gift for the teacher?\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s just a lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And then, taking pictures for the Christmas card\u2014that was kind of what kicked it off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, that was another level. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Was trying to get all the eyes open and the grins appropriate of the eight people in our picture. That was always a massive stress-producer; and then, getting them all stamped, addressed, mailed, and out the door. I think there is not quite same emphasis on Christmas cards today as there was back then. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, the activity level is one thing. But here we are\u2014talking about a young wife, who may feel like her mother-in-law is kind of watching and grading her performance. Is there anything she can do about that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And her mother-in-law may be watching and grading her performance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>May be\u2014right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>She absolutely may be; but I think the word that I think of when I think of all of these relationships that can be so stressful at Christmas is the word, grace, because you don\u2019t know why the mother-in-law is feeling what she\u2019s feeling\u2014and you don\u2019t know that she is. You may be assuming that she is watching you, and she\u2019s not watching you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Or you may be feeling like you need to do what she did so that your husband will be happy, and maybe he doesn\u2019t care. So, it\u2019s real easy for a wife\u2014a young wife in particular\u2014to put a lot on her that nobody else is putting on her\u2014but regardless, if the mother-in-law is putting some pressure on\u2014the best thing to do is to give her grace and let her be who she is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe may be struggling because her son is grown up and gone. She may be struggling because this is the only relationship that she\u2019s got; and it\u2019s really important to her, and she doesn\u2019t know how to keep a relationship with her son. She\u2019s trying to figure out the whole empty-nest thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr maybe her hormones are going crazy because she is in menopause, and she is having hot flashes. It\u2019s so hard, when you\u2019re in your 20s or early 30s, to be empathetic to your mother-in-law\u2014it\u2019s very hard to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you should really evaluate the context of the mother-in-law, at that point. Is she divorced?\u00a0 Does she have any friends?\u00a0 Where are her relationships? And I would say\u2014if something like this continues on\u2014if it\u2019s beyond two or three years, where it looks like it\u2019s going to be a record that\u2019s repeating itself and there is going to be pressure put on your wife, it may be time for a young man to step into his mom\u2019s life and say, \u201cMom, we need to figure out a new game plan for how we approach this because this isn\u2019t working.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And that\u2019s where a young husband can be sort of an arbitrator or a mediator because he knows his wife but he also knows his mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd they don\u2019t know each other so well yet\u2014that relationship takes a long, long time. And so, if he\u2019s wise, he will try to understand his mother, and honor her, and give her grace\u2014but also, understand his wife, and honor her, and give her grace\u2014and try to help them understand each other because that\u2019s what\u2019s hard. There is no way a young woman can understand what that mother-in-law is feeling. That is a hard season\u2014that empty-nest season. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That young wife may also need to ask herself the question, \u201cAm I being overly sensitive to what\u2019s going on?\u201d because a mother-in-law can come and say, \u201cCan I help in the kitchen?\u201d and the young wife hears, \u201cYou don\u2019t think I\u2019m doing it right.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cYou think I\u2019m messing things up.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>She really has to pull back and say, \u201cMaybe, all Mom is asking is \u2018Can I help in the kitchen?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Help in the kitchen\u2014right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The Proverbs speak about all kinds of different people. There is the wise person. There is the fool. There is the na\u00efve person, and then, there is an evil person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there may be some, who are listening to our broadcast, who may have an in-law who is just mean\u2014you know, just tough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was with a couple, not long ago. The husband had to call his dad and say: \u201cDad, it is inappropriate for Mom to call my wife. It\u2019s just not working.\u201d\u00a0 And this is a person who is dealing with some mental illness, and there has to be boundaries. And Christmas is one of those times where there has to be healthy boundaries built that are appropriate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wouldn\u2019t get reactionary about this kind of thing. I\u2019d make sure you\u2019ve really prayed about it, and thought about it, and handle it in the best way possible; but you\u2019ve got your kids, in some ways, on the line here, who are watching. It needs to be done with honor and with respect, but you need to protect your wife and your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let\u2019s talk about different values because one of the questions that came in has to do with different values around\u2014well: \u201cWe\u2019re having the whole family over to our house for Christmas. That means my brother and his girlfriend\u2014who are living together\u2014are coming to our house. Do we let them use the guest room?\u00a0 Do we tell them, \u2018No\u2019?\u00a0 Do we tell them to get a hotel?\u00a0 What do we tell the kids about my brother and his girlfriend when they say, \u2018Well, they are not married!\u2019?\u00a0 How do you handle that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, we haven\u2019t had to deal with that specifically\u2014but we\u2019ve had friends who\u2019ve had to deal with a relative who drinks, or a relative who smokes, or a relative whose language isn\u2019t the kind of language we would want our children to hear. And those are very difficult situations because you can come across\u2014if you\u2019re not careful\u2014you can come across judgmental. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Self-righteous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And self-righteous and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, some of them are health issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor instance, our family\u2014smoke creates asthma attacks\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for both you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and our daughter, Ashley; and now, our grandkids. So, you\u2019ve got health issues around some of these things. And then, when you start talking about somebody who drinks in excess, I can see how that could be an issue occurring at the holidays. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>But again, they all have to be dealt with individually because you have to have both grace\u2014so that person doesn\u2019t feel condemned, or criticized, or rejected, or unloved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, how you communicate your standards \/ how you communicate your values and what you say and do is more important than the choice that you actually make. It may be that the best thing that you do is you allow that uncle, who drinks more than you wish he would, to be loved and welcomed in your home; but it may be best that he never come into your home because of the way he acts if has too much to drink. There is not a hard-and-fast rule. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is something that every couple has to evaluate and be really careful about the decision you make because, whatever your decision is, it\u2019s going to communicate. And do you want to communicate love, or do you want to communicate rejection?\u00a0 And you just have to be careful, and you have to know that your decision is going to say something\u2014it\u2019s going to send a message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s very, very important that the husband and the wife\u2014the mom and the dad\u2014be in 100 percent agreement about how to handle these situations. That may be more important than what you do. And it\u2019s back to the grace you are talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are together and you are agreeing: \u201cWe\u2019re just going to love this family\u201d or \u201c\u2026this person over the holidays. That\u2019s going to be our assignment. We\u2019re going to talk to our kids in advance; and we\u2019re going to say, \u2018You know, you are going to see some things here that we don\u2019t approve of, and we want you all to just love on them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201c\u2019because there is more than likely a hole in the heart that is trying to be met through some other type of behavior.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s really how a Christian ought to be known anyway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But what if you are not in 100 percent agreement\u2014as a husband and wife\u2014and the husband is saying: \u201cLet them use the guest room. I mean, they are living together as it is,\u201d\u2014and the wife is going, \u201cI\u2019m not comfortable with that in our home and the message it is sending for our kids\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, to the husband, I\u2019d say: \u201cYou need to pay careful attention to what your wife is expressing. Make sure you\u2019ve heard her; and then, hear her again. If necessary, a third time before you do something where you overrule what she is feeling.\u201d\u00a0 And to the wife, I\u2019d say, \u201cHave you really found a way to express this so that he can hear\u2014that he really understands what you are feeling and what\u2019s at stake here?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And what if it\u2019s a relative who is in a same-sex relationship?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Same thing\u2014I think it\u2019s the same issue. It is: \u201cHow are you going to handle it, as a couple?\u201d I know some couples who have asked relatives to stay somewhere else because they did not feel comfortable with their children being exposed to something that was against their values. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have also had friends who have rolled out the red carpet and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Opened their homes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014opened their home up to express love. Again, I don\u2019t think, on some of these issues\u2014and people could argue with me\u2014but I don\u2019t think you can turn these into a formula and make an absolute statement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I agree. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think the overriding issue is what Barbara just said earlier. It has to be grace, love, compassion, and really, modeling the heart of Christ for people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Alright, let me ask you about this one because one of our listeners wrote in and said: \u201cYou know, Christmas often feels like it\u2019s all about the kids. Your objective, as Mom and Dad, is to make sure that the kids have a great holiday; but what about Dad feeling like he\u2019s been ignored or Mom feeling like, \u2018Where was the nice gift that I wanted that I didn\u2019t get?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDid you ever have any Christmases where either of you felt like the other one didn\u2019t really pay enough attention to what the holiday should have been for you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m not sure Barbara\u2019s willing to share what the Christmas gift was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>No, I\u2019m not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014not from a negative standpoint\u2014I can sure remember one Christmas that was a bonus Christmas that\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Okay, so, before you go to that, can I answer the question first; please?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you can answer the question\u2014I just was going to state it positively\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>You can state it positively. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for the husband who is feeling left out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>But I\u2019d like to give some context. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Give some context; alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Please?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I think that\u2014[Laughter]\u2014stop laughing. I think that it\u2019s a great question because I do think that moms very\u2014without even realizing it\u2014we do get so kid-focused. I mean, it\u2019s easy to get kid-focused throughout the calendar year, granted. But it\u2019s especially difficult at Christmas because you are doing a lot of class parties, and field trips, and all kinds of Christmas activities that you don\u2019t necessarily have in another month. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you are trying to do the traditions for the sake of your kids, and you\u2019re trying to make decorating the tree special, and on, and on, and on\u2014ad infinitum. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I totally get this question that this woman has written because I think it\u2019s real easy for husbands, in particular, to feel overlooked at Christmas because they may be busy doing work \/ they may be just not interested. I mean, my dad never thought about what he was going to buy for my mother until Christmas Eve. He always came through\u2014he always got her something nice\u2014but he didn\u2019t think about it until a day or two before Christmas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I think that is often the case with a lot of men. They just kind of ignore what\u2019s going on. They kind of take a backseat. They kind of let the whole thing happen; and then, they engage at the last minute\u2014come in for a landing at the last minute. And so, it\u2019s kind of a setup for that situation to happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have to tell you a story here about a friend of mine. He shared this at church. So, I think it is fair game for everybody. But he said he used to go out and buy his wife\u2019s Christmas present at four o\u2019clock on Christmas Eve\u2014that\u2019s what he always did. And he said he often went to the same store. There was a store he liked to shop at\u2014an old store called Service Merchandise\u2014do you remember Service Merchandise?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I remember, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, he went out one Christmas Eve. He went to the jewelry counter, and he found a pin at the jewelry counter that he thought was a really nice pin\u2014something that he thought would look nice. He bought that\u2014took it home. The next morning, his wife opened that present. He said he noticed that she did not seem particularly thrilled by the pin. He paused; and he said to her, \u201cDo you not like the pin?\u201d\u00a0 And she said, \u201cWell, it\u2019s the same pin you bought me last year.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Oh gosh!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And he responded by saying, \u201cI\u2019ve never seen you wear it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s what you call\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And she said, \u201cExactly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the next day, he took two pins back to Service Merchandise\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>He took two pins. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014to try to get a refund. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s hilarious. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Our listeners know what I call that\u2014that\u2019s a rookie mistake. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s okay to make it in your rookie season\u2014it\u2019s not good in your 20<sup>th<\/sup>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s pretty bad to not remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, what can a wife do \/ or a husband do to make sure that the other person is being remembered, and thought of, and valued during the holiday season?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, you don\u2019t start at the last minute. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>You don\u2019t wait until Christmas Eve, or even the day before Christmas Eve, and then go: \u201cOh, my gosh!\u00a0 What am I going to get?\u201d\u2014or rely on one of your kids to come up with an idea or something\u2014but you don\u2019t wait until the last minute because a lot of what communicates love\u2014whether you are a man or a woman\u2014is being thought of. So, if you can think about it ahead of time\u2014ask questions if you want to ask questions if you\u2019re not sure\u2014but think about it ahead of time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and invest some time and some energy in it. That\u2019s going to make the gift more meaningful, and that\u2019s going to help that person feel loved because attention speaks love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was there ever a particular Christmas where you tried to do that with Dennis?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>There was a particular Christmas because I realized that I had kind of given him more of the leftovers. I decided, one Christmas, I would really make a statement of love\u2014and I did. I anticipated it ahead of time\u2014I thought it through. I worked hard on it, and I planned out a gift for him that was more than one gift. It was several gifts that went out over a couple of weeks actually. Was it a week\u2014a couple of weeks?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Twelve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It was called the\u2014I did \u201cThe Twelve Days of Christmas.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, it was \u201cThe Twelve <em>Nights<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>\u201cThe Twelve Nights of Christmas\u201d\u2014that\u2019s correct\u2014it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, I\u2019m starting to get the\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>You\u2019re getting the picture. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. I think this needs to be a new Ever Thine Home<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> resource!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Oh, you do!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Don\u2019t you think?\u00a0 I think many of our listeners have\u2014they would like to see your work on this for your product line; yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, probably not. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was a Christmas to remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s about all we\u2019re going to say about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s ALL we\u2019re going to say about that\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I can tell you that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, but here\u2019s the thing\u2014Barbara has done a good job of teaching me to listen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>By the way, I only did that once. Only one time, he got \u201cThe Twelve Nights of Christmas.\u201d\u00a0 No pressure on the women\u2014that\u2019s why I wanted to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s a once-in-a-lifetime occasion?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>A once-in-a-lifetime\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Rats!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut men need to use their iPhone<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014instead of doing email as their wife is talking \/ instead to make notes of, when she drops a hint, of what she\u2019d really like. It\u2019s not always necessarily expensive. It can be something you put together: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ta coupon book of certain tasks or chores that she\u2019d like to have you do around the house. I did that one year for Barbara in an attempt to kind of clean up a honey-do list that I allowed to linger too long. Some of those things can be a statement of love because your wife may really appreciate acts of service and doing things on her behalf. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut listen and write them down because Christmas Eve is not the best day of the year to be thinking about what to buy your wife. You\u2019re not going to, more than likely, hit it out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>You\u2019re not going to win. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014hit it out of the park on that one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we don\u2019t have your Twelve Nights of Christmas in the Ever Thine Home collection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>No, we don\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Dang it!\u00a0 But we do have what you\u2019ve been working on for homes and for holidays. I\u2019d encourage our listeners, \u201cGo to EverThineHome.com to see the new set of ornaments for your Christmas tree that Barbara has created, her Adorenaments<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> that are focused on the Savior names of Jesus\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014all in the shape of a cross.\u201d\u00a0 These are beautiful ornaments for the Christmas tree. You\u2019ll also see the Christmas and royal names of Jesus from previous years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have a topper for your Christmas tree\u2014The Bright and Morning Star tree topper\u2014and a lot of other resources Barbara has been working on\/developing. Go to EverThineHome.com, and you can see all that is available. You can order from us, online; or you can call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 And we can answer any questions you have about the resources Barbara has worked on, or you can order by phone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to tell you we have had some encouraging things happening, here at FamilyLife, over the last couple of weeks. We\u2019ve had a number of listeners, who have come to us to make yearend contributions, already, during the month of December. The truth is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014many of our listeners wait until the week between Christmas and New Year\u2019s to make any kind of yearend contribution, which always makes for an interesting week as we wait to see what is going to happen during that week of the year. So, it\u2019s nice to get an early yearend contribution. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we\u2019ve had some listeners, who came along and said that they would agree to match every donation that comes in in the month of December, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $2,000,000. So, we are\u2014we\u2019re encouraged by what is starting to happen this month; but as I have mentioned, this is a critical month for us. What happens in December sets the course for what we are able to do, as a ministry, in the year ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, would you consider supporting this work with a yearend contribution right now?\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make an online donation\u2014and know that that donation is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, when you do. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can make your donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr mail your donation to<em> FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. And again, we are grateful for your support of the ministry. We always look forward to hearing from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow. We\u2019re going to talk about the origins of Christmas. Phil Vischer is going to join us, and we\u2019ll have some fun with him. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303301"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303301"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303301"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303301"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}