{"id":303251,"date":"2014-10-29T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-10-29T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/loving-in-the-footsteps-of-christ\/"},"modified":"2014-10-29T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-10-29T15:00:00","slug":"loving-in-the-footsteps-of-christ","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/loving-in-the-footsteps-of-christ\/","title":{"rendered":"Loving in the Footsteps of Christ"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why do I care so much about me?  If we were honest, most of us would love to be great in a kingdom of our own making, says biblical counselor Ed Welch. Christ, however, has a better idea.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-29.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.96M","filesize_raw":"24078440","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2873,2827],"tags":[5443,5484],"podcast_series":[8042],"cwp_profile":[9004],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303251","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","category-repentance","tag-idolatry","tag-people-pleasers","podcast_series-what-do-you-think-of-me","cwp_profile-ed-welch","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303251\/loving-in-the-footsteps-of-christ","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303251\/loving-in-the-footsteps-of-christ","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"zD41Ynd3YU\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/loving-in-the-footsteps-of-christ\/\">Loving in the Footsteps of Christ<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/loving-in-the-footsteps-of-christ\/embed\/#?secret=zD41Ynd3YU\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Loving in the Footsteps of Christ&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"zD41Ynd3YU\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-29.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-29.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Which has a higher priority in your life today\u2014that other people like you or that you love other people?\u00a0 Here is Ed Welch.\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 If we are really on what it means to be a human being and if this is the way Christ was\u2014to be able to love more than we want to be loved by other people\u2014is this freedom. We are going to love it!\u00a0 It\u2019s not going to be, ultimately, a burden.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be hard, but it\u2019s not going to be burdensome.\u00a0 It\u2019s the <em>way<\/em> we were intended to be, and we will just plain love it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, October 29<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk with Ed Welch today about how we can cultivate a heart that is more focused on loving others than on our own needs.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt our church, one of the things we do, as a part of our worship service, is\u2014we have a regular confession of sin that\u2019s worked into the liturgy of what we do.\u00a0 I was leading the prayer of confession this past weekend. One of the things I said that I found myself repeating often, when I\u2019m dealing with the issue of confession of sin, is: \u201cWhat God says is true about us is more true than what we really believe about ourselves.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>You stop and think about it\u2014what you believe about yourself\u2014you pretty much take as the ultimate authority.\u00a0 I mean, who knows you better than you?\u00a0 Well, the answer is: \u201cGod knows you better than you, and what He says is true about you.\u201d If it\u2019s different than how you feel about you, guess who is right?\u2014it\u2019s God and not you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was kind of the lead into, the\u2014talk about the fact that what God says is true about us is\u2014that we are fearfully and wonderfully made; that we are made in His image; that we come with His blessing; but that we are also desperate\u2014deceitful, sick in our hearts, and in need of redemption. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Deeply fallen, yet profoundly loved\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and pursued by Almighty God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have an author\u2014who has written a number of books\u2014Dr. Ed Welch, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Ed, welcome back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Dennis.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ed\u2019s a counselor.\u00a0 He is a papa to two daughters and a grandpa to seven grandchildren.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is that\u2014do they call you, \u201cGrandpa\u201d?\u00a0 Is that your name?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 They call me Griffey\u2014it\u2019s a long story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Griffey!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 They call me Griffey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Like Ken Griffey, Jr.\u2014like that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. Of course, they are getting old enough now where they shorten it\u2014so I\u2019m <em>Griff<\/em> to most of them.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, he\u2019s written a book called <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u00a0 And what Ed is doing in his book is\u2014he is really answering three questions:\u00a0 \u201cWho is God?\u201d \u201cWho am I?\u201dand \u201cHow do I relate to other people?\u201d\u2014\u201cWho are they?\u201d and \u201cHow does this thing work?\u201d because we were made to love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you\u2019d agree with me that what God says is true about us\u2014what He believes about us \/ what He thinks about us\u2014is more significant than what we believe or think about ourselves; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you got me thinking when you said that where\u2014absolutely.\u00a0 I mean, that\u2019s such an obvious thing to say; but I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s a harder one to do,\u201d because when we <em>feel <\/em>something about ourselves strongly, it is hard to dislodge it\u2014even if God, Himself, speaks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most books come out of people\u2019s struggles or lessons they\u2019ve learned that they want to pass on to other people.\u00a0 Is this true of this book of you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis, I didn\u2019t think you were going to get personally on me now.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you struggle with what people think about you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is certainly true with me, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are a PhD.\u00a0 You\u2019ve written\u2014how many books are here?\u00a0 Let me count them\u2014hold on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the good news is I\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Half a dozen books?\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve asked my wife, recently\u2014I said: \u201cSheri, this\u2014being controlled by the opinions of other people\u2014I can be controlled by <em>your<\/em> opinion\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I\u2019m not talking\u2014I\u2019m talking about my wife now\u2014\u201cand I feel like I\u2019m an infant in these things.\u00a0 Have you seen me grow?\u201d\u00a0 Now, she might have just been being nice; but she said, \u201cYes.\u00a0 You\u2019ve grown in these things.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t say I\u2019ve mastered it, but I\u2019m growing in them.\u00a0 So, it is a very personal book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, what has been most helpful for me, personally\u2014a few different things.\u00a0 That question\u2014\u201cWhy do I care so much about what other people think?\u201d\u2014for that question to move from sort of an academic question to a confession has been very important.\u00a0 \u201cWhy do I care so much about me?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s really what I\u2019m after.\u00a0 \u201cWhy is it that I want to be successful\u2014great in just one thing?\u00a0 Why do I care so much about me?\u201d\u00a0 So, that question, being turned into a confession has been very, very helpful for me, personally.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And when you ponder that question, what conclusions do you come to?\u00a0 Why <em>do<\/em> you care so much what other people think?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would like to have my own little kingdom, where I am great in something that\u2014and there, by the way, you see how the fact that we come to Christ is not a natural thing to do because we can only bring nothing. Nothing is a hard thing to bring to Jesus\u2014I want to bring something.\u00a0 I want to think that I\u2019m great in something.\u00a0 It\u2019s simply my own pride.\u00a0 It\u2019s low self-esteem, indeed.\u00a0 I can feel miserable about myself when I feel certain rejection; but it\u2019s: \u201cScratch around, and sure enough, it\u2019s my own pride.\u00a0 I want to be great.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and Jesus says over in Mark, Chapter 10, when he was asked by His disciples: \u201cHow can I be great?\u00a0 How can I sit next to you when the Kingdom comes in, and I\u2019m on the right hand of the throne here?\u00a0 I want to be in power.\u00a0 I want to be in control.\u201d\u00a0 And Jesus says: \u201cIf you want to be great, you\u2019ve got to become a servant.\u00a0 If you really want to excel, you\u2019ve got to become\u201d\u2014He said\u2014\u201cthe slave of all.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s the upside-down Kingdom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChrist is constantly calling us to die to self and allow Him to fill us with His love.\u00a0 In fact, we were made to love.\u00a0 I want to read a passage that I thought about as I was reading your book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s found in 1 John, Chapter 4. It just reminds us here\u2014it says, \u201cIn this is love, not that we have loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.\u00a0 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.\u00a0 No one has ever seen God.\u00a0 If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.\u201d\u00a0 Then, in verse 19, it says, \u201cWe love because He first loved us.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really interesting\u2014God made us with the capacity to love. Then, what He does is\u2014He demonstrates that love through the cross of Christ and in the Scriptures\u2014and offers redemption to those who will cry out to the Savior in faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, He begins the work of teaching us and training us how to love.\u00a0 It\u2019s a lifetime journey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, here is love\u2014He is the true human being teaching us what it truly means to be human.\u00a0 He walks through the world, and He experiences rejection almost every moment\u2014from His own people, from His own disciples, certainly, from the leaders of the day.\u00a0 And nothing ever kept Him from that prominent question, \u201cHow do I love and serve these people now?\u201d\u00a0 Nothing kept Him from that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what we see when we watch love move through the world\u2014that in the face of rejection, His mission continues to be: \u201cWhat does it mean to love in the name of my Father, on behalf of the Spirit, as the Triune God?\u201d\u00a0 Now, what that means for us is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to love: to serve more than we want to be served \/ to love more than we want to be loved.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, personally, it works out in marriage\u2014where: \u201cWho is my wife?\u201d It\u2019s very clear\u2014she is the object of my affection.\u00a0 She is the person I should love more than I love myself.\u00a0 I should die to self.\u00a0 Well, I know that, theoretically; but, in actual practice\u2014when she doesn\u2019t treat me the way I hope\/want\/think I deserve to be treated, all of a sudden, I can find that I reject her in turn.\u00a0 And there it is\u2014there it is\u2014my desire to be loved by my wife more than I have a desire to love my wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the great liberations in my own marriage is just simply to have that motto that points me to Christ and points me to my own mission.\u00a0 If my wife does not approve of me, or respect me, or accept me in the way that I would like to be accepted, or approved of, or loved, that doesn\u2019t change my mission in any way.\u00a0 The question is the same:\u00a0 \u201cHow do I love her now?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe\u2014I talk about how I was hurt by something she said.\u00a0 That might be the expression of love.\u00a0 Love can have infinite expressions.\u00a0 That is some of the power of the cross\u2014that in the face of rejection, it can hurt\u2014but it doesn\u2019t take us from that question, \u201cOkay, now, how do I love this particular person?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you were describing Jesus\u2019 continual perspective of \u201c\u2026 here to serve \/ \u2026here to care for\u2026\u201d I thought, \u201cHow long would I have walked the walk He was walking before <em>I<\/em> would go: \u2018Alright, enough with you guys.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to go find somebody who has a little more appreciation for what I\u2019m here for\u2014somebody who cares a little bit more about what my contribution to this deal.\u00a0 I\u2019m done.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd yet, here is the perfect Son of God, who says: \u201cI\u2019ll keep walking.\u00a0 I\u2019ll keep serving.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get the basin and the towel, and I\u2019ll wash your feet again because that\u2019s what I\u2019m here to do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, the question this raises is: \u201cAm I just going to be a doormat before other people if I follow this particular path?\u201d\u00a0 Well, there, I think, the Scripture would respond two ways. One is\u2014if we are really on what it means to be a human being\u2014and if this was the way Christ was\u2014to be able to love more than we want to be loved by other people\u2014is this freedom. We are going to love it!\u00a0 It\u2019s not going to be, ultimately, a burden.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be hard, but it\u2019s not going to be burdensome.\u00a0 It\u2019s the <em>way<\/em> we were intended to be, and we will just plain love it.\u00a0 That\u2019s one thing we can say from Scripture.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other is\u2014is that love\u2014like we mentioned before\u2014love has all kinds of variations to it. Love can say: \u201cThat really hurt.\u00a0 What you just said\u2014it really hurt me.\u201d\u00a0 To be able to say that without vindictiveness or manipulation\u2014but to say it because you care about your relationship with a person\u2014those are the kinds of things that we can say.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, please, don\u2019t think for a moment that this is some being a doormat before other people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is\u2014this is power!\u00a0 That\u2019s what we are taking about.\u00a0 Loving in the footsteps of Christ is immense power and freedom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I read a quote from your book\u2014that you\u2019d forgotten you\u2019d put in your book\u2014but I liked it.\u00a0 It says, \u201cWe\u2019re supposed to live life as though every day is somebody else\u2019s birthday.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s just a great picture. If I stopped and said: \u201cOkay, on your birthday\u2014it\u2019s your special day\u2014we\u2019re going to do things that\u2014not aren\u2019t here to please you\u2014but that are in your best interest\u2014things that will honor you \/ things that will point to you.\u00a0 Instead, we are going to die to self and live for what is going to be a blessing to you today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we were to live every day like that in our marriage \/ every day like that with our coworkers \/ every day like that with our kids, we\u2019d be more like Jesus\u2014number one\u2014and we would quit caring so much what they think about us; wouldn\u2019t we?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you look at some of the secular literature out there these days\u2014more and more, you are reading comments such as, \u201cSometimes, the best thing to do is just forget about ourselves and look for somebody else to love and to serve.\u201d\u00a0 There is sort of the received wisdom that some people have after many, many years\u2014not necessarily following Christ\u2014but by seeing how people work best.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we know the Author of that particular wisdom\u2014it\u2019s the way we were intended to be.\u00a0 So, I didn\u2019t know I said the thing about the birthday; but it\u2019s a very handy way of putting it together.\u00a0 When we are honoring another person above ourselves, we are affirming them and willing to take the second chair, at that time.\u00a0 And then, we would add, \u201cWe are going to love it,\u201d because that\u2019s the way Christ has lived before us\u2014that\u2019s the way it means to be human.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And Ed, that all sounds nice and sweet, here in a radio studio.\u00a0 There are listeners, however, who, when they get your book, are going to turn to Chapter 18, where there is an equation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of a sudden, what you just said is going to seem, \u201cI\u2019m not so sure about what you are talking about, Ed, because you are talking about something that does sound tough and hard.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the equation:\u00a0 \u201cEnemies\u201d\u2014what a great place to start, Ed, in the equation\u2014\u201cEnemies + Friends + Loved ones = Family.\u201d\u00a0 Now, what do you mean by that?\u00a0 I mean, ultimately, you\u2019re talking about quite an interesting hodge-podge of people there\u2014enemies, friends, and loved ones.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 It seems that when you go through the New Testament, there are three groups that come out.\u00a0 You have your immediate family and the people who are your people.\u00a0 You, also, have your neighbor\u2014somebody who lives next to you\u2014your lives intersect. Occasionally, you say, \u201cHi.\u201d\u00a0 Well, Jesus obviously changes the whole idea of neighbor with the story of the Good Samaritan\u2014we sacrifice ourself for someone \/ we treat them as if they are family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, obviously, we all know something about enemies.\u00a0 And certainly, in the New Testament times, they knew something about enemies.\u00a0 When Christ comes and says that \u201cwhile you were an enemy,\u201d that\u2019s when He died.\u00a0 All of a sudden, that puts enemy in a very different category.\u00a0 We treat enemies like family.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the <em>radical<\/em> teachings of the New Testament.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Dennis, you are right.\u00a0 Is it hard?\u00a0 It is hard, but this is what we see in the person of Christ\u2014He loves enemies, He loves neighbors, and He loves family.\u00a0 If this is what we see in the person of Christ, as we get the knack of it, we are going to love it.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be hard, but we\u2019re going to thrive.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to feel a certain richness in our soul.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI appreciate what you are saying\u2014that there is nothing <em>easy<\/em> about this\u2014but how can we <em>aspire<\/em> to loving all of those groups with a little tiny bit of a smile on our face?\u2014because we recognize that we are right in the dead-center of God\u2019s plan for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you think a 13-year-old has the emotional capacity to think rightly about: \u201cWho is God?\u201d \u201cWho am I?\u201d \u201cWho is my neighbor?\u201d \u201cWho are others?\u201d and to live a selfless, sacrificial life?\u00a0 Or is their immaturity\u2014their lack of emotional development\u2014such that they just need to grow out of that phase, and they\u2019ll eventually grow up and be mature?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, they are going to grow up to be people like us, which means that we can be controlled by the opinions of other people.\u00a0 One of the things that happened\u2014when the Spirit came, which was unprecedented\u2014was even children, now, will have the Spirit and even they will know who the Lord is.\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the question is not: \u201cDo they have the Spirit?\u201d\u00a0 Of course, they have the Spirit.\u00a0 The question is: \u201cHow can we communicate in a way that makes sense to them?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s where I think the idea of the birthday is a grand one\u2014to be able to say to my granddaughter, who is petrified because she might not be wearing the right dress to school that day: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u201cHere is what you are going to do.\u00a0 You are going to go to school, and the children you see\u2014it just so happens they are all having their birthday on that day.\u00a0 When it\u2019s their birthday, you are thinking about them; and you are asking them about them and how their day has been going.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, it is: \u201cHow do we communicate effectively?\u201d They certainly have the maturity because they have access to the Spirit to grow in these things\u2014to treat another person as if it\u2019s their birthday\u2014yes, I like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I like that too.\u00a0 And parents constantly need practical ways of passing these things on.\u00a0 Do you remember a time when you were raising your teenage daughters, and they had some enemies, and you were trying to teach them how to love their enemies?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 I certainly do.\u00a0 And I can think of a few different situations.\u00a0 One situation was simply just evil rejection\u2014evil words from another person.\u00a0 And in those times, you usually say less rather than more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we just said: \u201cHoney, this is so hard.\u00a0 Let us pray for you that you would know that, not only do you have parents who love you, but you have a Father in heaven who is even with you in the midst of this.\u00a0 Somehow, Jesus knew something about rejection\u2014you\u2019re going to know something about Jesus.\u00a0 Let me pray for you.\u201d\u00a0 There were other times where it was: \u201cAlright, we\u2019re in this one together because your Mom and I have some people that we don\u2019t always like and \u2018What does it mean to love people who are cruel to us?\u2019\u00a0 That\u2019s what we are going to pray.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the nice thing about a prayer like that is you don\u2019t have to give all the ins and outs of what that looks like.\u00a0 You are praying according to the will of God.\u00a0 This is something God wants to do. So, we can ask the next day, \u201cOkay, how did we do in loving those people who are not so lovable in our lives?\u201d\u00a0 And perhaps, there will be silence all around.\u00a0 Well, we keep praying. We keep praying until somebody has some great stories to tell about how they were able to show kindness to somebody who they loved.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s actually what happened with one of my daughters\u2014where she began to move toward that person and simply showed kindness.\u00a0 In the case I\u2019m thinking of right now, they actually became friends.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it\u2019s interesting when John describes Jesus\u2014it declared Him to be full of grace and truth.\u00a0 And grace, I think, in this situation, is kind of the embodiment of love.\u00a0 And I think there are times, as parents, when we are called to step in and protect our teenagers and speak the truth in love. I remember one of our daughters had a disparaging comment about her body from a boy. She was sharing it around the dinner table.\u00a0 I picked up the phone\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Spoke to the truth in love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014I spoke the truth in love.\u00a0 And the boy\u2019s dad got on the phone with me. He said, \u201cWhy are you calling my son?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, let me just tell you what your son said.\u201d\u00a0 And I said: \u201cI\u2019m not trying to beat him up, but I want him to know that my daughter is a beautiful creation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m her daddy and I\u2019m called to protect her.\u00a0 Personally, I just don\u2019t appreciate him talking to her like this.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis, if I could extend what you are saying just a little bit more.\u00a0 You weren\u2019t simply protecting your daughter\u2014you were loving your daughter\u2014but you were also loving the person who said those comments.\u00a0 Instead of having him just live, having done those things and think it was okay, you intervened and allowed him to see the reality and the truth clearly\u2014so you were loving him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t do it many times, but there are points when you sense that prompting of God that is calling you to speak the truth in love\u2014to step out and be courageous\u2014and to do that because God has called us to love and also embrace the truth.\u00a0 <br><br>And I just want to thank you, Ed, for writing this book.\u00a0 I think this is going to be a big help to a lot of parents and their teens. What I would encourage you to do, as a listener, is get a copy of this book. I think the parents ought to go through it first\u2014kind of get the essence of what Ed is teaching here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, give the book to your son or daughter and say, \u201cLet\u2019s go through these three questions:\u00a0 \u2018Who is God?\u2019 \u2018Who am I?\u2019 and \u2018How do I relate to other people?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Begin talking about the subject of people-pleasing, and living your life for others, and put it in proper perspective. Let them know: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 It is a desire of us, as human beings, to live that way.\u00a0 We just can\u2019t make it an idol.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you\u2014the teenage years are ruthless.\u00a0 I mean, they are tough years for teenagers to navigate around this one subject alone because it can spin them off into all kinds of ditches.\u00a0 And I just appreciate your heart for moms and dads and the next generation.\u00a0 And hope you\u2019ll come back again and join us soon.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis, as you were saying those things\u2014I\u2019ve talked to my children and my grandchildren about some of those issues\u2014but you just gave me a vision.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking: \u201cI want to get out of here\u2014I want to get home\u2014and I want to say: \u2018Kids, here is what I\u2019ve been thinking about today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u2019You know, here are these critical questions\u2014\u201cWho is God?\u201d \u201cWho am I?\u201d \u201cWho are other people?\u201d \u201cHow do we treat them?\u201d\u2014and so much of our lives are wrapped up in those questions.\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about these questions again.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 So, thanks.\u00a0 I appreciate the vision you\u2019ve given me. Now, I want to get off the radio; and I want to get home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ed, you wrote the book!\u00a0 I\u2019m just giving you back your own stuff.\u00a0 There is a reason why you are excited\u2014it wasn\u2019t because I said that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I think a lot of parents could have that same conversation, Ed, with their children or their grandchildren.\u00a0 It might help if they had a copy of your book since they didn\u2019t write it.\u00a0 But we do have copies in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 The book is called <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u00a0 You can order a copy from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to the website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 In the upper left-hand corner of the screen, you\u2019ll see a link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 If you click that link, it\u2019ll take you right to where there is a screen shot of Ed\u2019s book. You can order the book from us online.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 So, either way, call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d\u2019 or order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a quick shout-out today to our friends at Hickory Ridge Community Church in Chesapeake, Virginia, where Calvin Corbitt is the pastor: \u201cHappy Pastor Appreciation Month to Pastor Corbitt.\u201d\u00a0 Recently, these guys were helping to promote the <em>I Still Do<\/em><em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em>event that we had in Washington, DC, back a few weeks ago. We are fans of local churches that make marriage and family a significant priority.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the only thing the church ought to be about, but marriage and family are pretty important.\u00a0 And I think good churches recognize that and see that they have a responsibility to try to promote godly marriages and families. A lot of these churches are partnering with us to make that happen with our resources like <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> events or the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> video curriculum.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I mentioned all of this because I just wanted those folks, who support this ministry, to know that, at FamilyLife, we believe in the priority of the local church.\u00a0 In fact, when we talk to folks about supporting our ministry, we try to make sure that we remind them that their local church ought to be the first priority when it comes to financial giving.\u00a0 We don\u2019t want them to take anything away from their giving to their local church in order to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 <br><br>But we do appreciate those of you, who are able to go above and beyond, and who make donations to support this ministry.\u00a0 We could not survive without them, and we are grateful for your partnership.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019d like to express our gratitude, this month, by sending you a resource that Barbara Rainey has developed to cultivate gratitude in your home.\u00a0 It\u2019s a chalkboard that you can hang in the house that says, \u201cIn this home we give thanks for.\u201d\u00a0 And there is a place to write what you are thankful for on the chalkboard.\u00a0 It\u2019s our gift to you when you donate to support this ministry today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the website, where it says, \u201cI Care,\u201d to make an online donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 Or you can mail a donation and request the chalkboard.\u00a0 Send your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR.\u00a0 And our zip code is 72223.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to talk about how to pick a spouse.\u00a0 Dan Chun is going to be here\u2014all the way from Hawaii. He is going to share some thoughts on the subject with us.\u00a0 Hope you can tune in for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.96M"],"filesize_raw":["24078440"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303251.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303251.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 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do I care so much about me? If we were honest, most of us would love to be great in a kingdom of our own making, says biblical counselor Ed Welch. Christ, however, has a better idea.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-29.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Which has a higher priority in your life today\u2014that other people like you or that you love other people?\u00a0 Here is Ed Welch.\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 If we are really on what it means to be a human being and if this is the way Christ was\u2014to be able to love more than we want to be loved by other people\u2014is this freedom. We are going to love it!\u00a0 It\u2019s not going to be, ultimately, a burden.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be hard, but it\u2019s not going to be burdensome.\u00a0 It\u2019s the <em>way<\/em> we were intended to be, and we will just plain love it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, October 29<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk with Ed Welch today about how we can cultivate a heart that is more focused on loving others than on our own needs.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt our church, one of the things we do, as a part of our worship service, is\u2014we have a regular confession of sin that\u2019s worked into the liturgy of what we do.\u00a0 I was leading the prayer of confession this past weekend. One of the things I said that I found myself repeating often, when I\u2019m dealing with the issue of confession of sin, is: \u201cWhat God says is true about us is more true than what we really believe about ourselves.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>You stop and think about it\u2014what you believe about yourself\u2014you pretty much take as the ultimate authority.\u00a0 I mean, who knows you better than you?\u00a0 Well, the answer is: \u201cGod knows you better than you, and what He says is true about you.\u201d If it\u2019s different than how you feel about you, guess who is right?\u2014it\u2019s God and not you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was kind of the lead into, the\u2014talk about the fact that what God says is true about us is\u2014that we are fearfully and wonderfully made; that we are made in His image; that we come with His blessing; but that we are also desperate\u2014deceitful, sick in our hearts, and in need of redemption. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Deeply fallen, yet profoundly loved\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and pursued by Almighty God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have an author\u2014who has written a number of books\u2014Dr. Ed Welch, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Ed, welcome back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Dennis.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ed\u2019s a counselor.\u00a0 He is a papa to two daughters and a grandpa to seven grandchildren.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is that\u2014do they call you, \u201cGrandpa\u201d?\u00a0 Is that your name?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 They call me Griffey\u2014it\u2019s a long story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Griffey!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 They call me Griffey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Like Ken Griffey, Jr.\u2014like that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. Of course, they are getting old enough now where they shorten it\u2014so I\u2019m <em>Griff<\/em> to most of them.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, he\u2019s written a book called <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u00a0 And what Ed is doing in his book is\u2014he is really answering three questions:\u00a0 \u201cWho is God?\u201d \u201cWho am I?\u201dand \u201cHow do I relate to other people?\u201d\u2014\u201cWho are they?\u201d and \u201cHow does this thing work?\u201d because we were made to love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you\u2019d agree with me that what God says is true about us\u2014what He believes about us \/ what He thinks about us\u2014is more significant than what we believe or think about ourselves; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you got me thinking when you said that where\u2014absolutely.\u00a0 I mean, that\u2019s such an obvious thing to say; but I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s a harder one to do,\u201d because when we <em>feel <\/em>something about ourselves strongly, it is hard to dislodge it\u2014even if God, Himself, speaks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most books come out of people\u2019s struggles or lessons they\u2019ve learned that they want to pass on to other people.\u00a0 Is this true of this book of you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis, I didn\u2019t think you were going to get personally on me now.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you struggle with what people think about you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is certainly true with me, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are a PhD.\u00a0 You\u2019ve written\u2014how many books are here?\u00a0 Let me count them\u2014hold on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the good news is I\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Half a dozen books?\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve asked my wife, recently\u2014I said: \u201cSheri, this\u2014being controlled by the opinions of other people\u2014I can be controlled by <em>your<\/em> opinion\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I\u2019m not talking\u2014I\u2019m talking about my wife now\u2014\u201cand I feel like I\u2019m an infant in these things.\u00a0 Have you seen me grow?\u201d\u00a0 Now, she might have just been being nice; but she said, \u201cYes.\u00a0 You\u2019ve grown in these things.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t say I\u2019ve mastered it, but I\u2019m growing in them.\u00a0 So, it is a very personal book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, what has been most helpful for me, personally\u2014a few different things.\u00a0 That question\u2014\u201cWhy do I care so much about what other people think?\u201d\u2014for that question to move from sort of an academic question to a confession has been very important.\u00a0 \u201cWhy do I care so much about me?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s really what I\u2019m after.\u00a0 \u201cWhy is it that I want to be successful\u2014great in just one thing?\u00a0 Why do I care so much about me?\u201d\u00a0 So, that question, being turned into a confession has been very, very helpful for me, personally.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And when you ponder that question, what conclusions do you come to?\u00a0 Why <em>do<\/em> you care so much what other people think?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would like to have my own little kingdom, where I am great in something that\u2014and there, by the way, you see how the fact that we come to Christ is not a natural thing to do because we can only bring nothing. Nothing is a hard thing to bring to Jesus\u2014I want to bring something.\u00a0 I want to think that I\u2019m great in something.\u00a0 It\u2019s simply my own pride.\u00a0 It\u2019s low self-esteem, indeed.\u00a0 I can feel miserable about myself when I feel certain rejection; but it\u2019s: \u201cScratch around, and sure enough, it\u2019s my own pride.\u00a0 I want to be great.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and Jesus says over in Mark, Chapter 10, when he was asked by His disciples: \u201cHow can I be great?\u00a0 How can I sit next to you when the Kingdom comes in, and I\u2019m on the right hand of the throne here?\u00a0 I want to be in power.\u00a0 I want to be in control.\u201d\u00a0 And Jesus says: \u201cIf you want to be great, you\u2019ve got to become a servant.\u00a0 If you really want to excel, you\u2019ve got to become\u201d\u2014He said\u2014\u201cthe slave of all.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s the upside-down Kingdom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChrist is constantly calling us to die to self and allow Him to fill us with His love.\u00a0 In fact, we were made to love.\u00a0 I want to read a passage that I thought about as I was reading your book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s found in 1 John, Chapter 4. It just reminds us here\u2014it says, \u201cIn this is love, not that we have loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.\u00a0 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.\u00a0 No one has ever seen God.\u00a0 If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.\u201d\u00a0 Then, in verse 19, it says, \u201cWe love because He first loved us.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really interesting\u2014God made us with the capacity to love. Then, what He does is\u2014He demonstrates that love through the cross of Christ and in the Scriptures\u2014and offers redemption to those who will cry out to the Savior in faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, He begins the work of teaching us and training us how to love.\u00a0 It\u2019s a lifetime journey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, here is love\u2014He is the true human being teaching us what it truly means to be human.\u00a0 He walks through the world, and He experiences rejection almost every moment\u2014from His own people, from His own disciples, certainly, from the leaders of the day.\u00a0 And nothing ever kept Him from that prominent question, \u201cHow do I love and serve these people now?\u201d\u00a0 Nothing kept Him from that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what we see when we watch love move through the world\u2014that in the face of rejection, His mission continues to be: \u201cWhat does it mean to love in the name of my Father, on behalf of the Spirit, as the Triune God?\u201d\u00a0 Now, what that means for us is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to love: to serve more than we want to be served \/ to love more than we want to be loved.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, personally, it works out in marriage\u2014where: \u201cWho is my wife?\u201d It\u2019s very clear\u2014she is the object of my affection.\u00a0 She is the person I should love more than I love myself.\u00a0 I should die to self.\u00a0 Well, I know that, theoretically; but, in actual practice\u2014when she doesn\u2019t treat me the way I hope\/want\/think I deserve to be treated, all of a sudden, I can find that I reject her in turn.\u00a0 And there it is\u2014there it is\u2014my desire to be loved by my wife more than I have a desire to love my wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the great liberations in my own marriage is just simply to have that motto that points me to Christ and points me to my own mission.\u00a0 If my wife does not approve of me, or respect me, or accept me in the way that I would like to be accepted, or approved of, or loved, that doesn\u2019t change my mission in any way.\u00a0 The question is the same:\u00a0 \u201cHow do I love her now?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe\u2014I talk about how I was hurt by something she said.\u00a0 That might be the expression of love.\u00a0 Love can have infinite expressions.\u00a0 That is some of the power of the cross\u2014that in the face of rejection, it can hurt\u2014but it doesn\u2019t take us from that question, \u201cOkay, now, how do I love this particular person?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you were describing Jesus\u2019 continual perspective of \u201c\u2026 here to serve \/ \u2026here to care for\u2026\u201d I thought, \u201cHow long would I have walked the walk He was walking before <em>I<\/em> would go: \u2018Alright, enough with you guys.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to go find somebody who has a little more appreciation for what I\u2019m here for\u2014somebody who cares a little bit more about what my contribution to this deal.\u00a0 I\u2019m done.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd yet, here is the perfect Son of God, who says: \u201cI\u2019ll keep walking.\u00a0 I\u2019ll keep serving.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get the basin and the towel, and I\u2019ll wash your feet again because that\u2019s what I\u2019m here to do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, the question this raises is: \u201cAm I just going to be a doormat before other people if I follow this particular path?\u201d\u00a0 Well, there, I think, the Scripture would respond two ways. One is\u2014if we are really on what it means to be a human being\u2014and if this was the way Christ was\u2014to be able to love more than we want to be loved by other people\u2014is this freedom. We are going to love it!\u00a0 It\u2019s not going to be, ultimately, a burden.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be hard, but it\u2019s not going to be burdensome.\u00a0 It\u2019s the <em>way<\/em> we were intended to be, and we will just plain love it.\u00a0 That\u2019s one thing we can say from Scripture.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other is\u2014is that love\u2014like we mentioned before\u2014love has all kinds of variations to it. Love can say: \u201cThat really hurt.\u00a0 What you just said\u2014it really hurt me.\u201d\u00a0 To be able to say that without vindictiveness or manipulation\u2014but to say it because you care about your relationship with a person\u2014those are the kinds of things that we can say.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, please, don\u2019t think for a moment that this is some being a doormat before other people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is\u2014this is power!\u00a0 That\u2019s what we are taking about.\u00a0 Loving in the footsteps of Christ is immense power and freedom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I read a quote from your book\u2014that you\u2019d forgotten you\u2019d put in your book\u2014but I liked it.\u00a0 It says, \u201cWe\u2019re supposed to live life as though every day is somebody else\u2019s birthday.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s just a great picture. If I stopped and said: \u201cOkay, on your birthday\u2014it\u2019s your special day\u2014we\u2019re going to do things that\u2014not aren\u2019t here to please you\u2014but that are in your best interest\u2014things that will honor you \/ things that will point to you.\u00a0 Instead, we are going to die to self and live for what is going to be a blessing to you today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we were to live every day like that in our marriage \/ every day like that with our coworkers \/ every day like that with our kids, we\u2019d be more like Jesus\u2014number one\u2014and we would quit caring so much what they think about us; wouldn\u2019t we?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you look at some of the secular literature out there these days\u2014more and more, you are reading comments such as, \u201cSometimes, the best thing to do is just forget about ourselves and look for somebody else to love and to serve.\u201d\u00a0 There is sort of the received wisdom that some people have after many, many years\u2014not necessarily following Christ\u2014but by seeing how people work best.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we know the Author of that particular wisdom\u2014it\u2019s the way we were intended to be.\u00a0 So, I didn\u2019t know I said the thing about the birthday; but it\u2019s a very handy way of putting it together.\u00a0 When we are honoring another person above ourselves, we are affirming them and willing to take the second chair, at that time.\u00a0 And then, we would add, \u201cWe are going to love it,\u201d because that\u2019s the way Christ has lived before us\u2014that\u2019s the way it means to be human.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And Ed, that all sounds nice and sweet, here in a radio studio.\u00a0 There are listeners, however, who, when they get your book, are going to turn to Chapter 18, where there is an equation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of a sudden, what you just said is going to seem, \u201cI\u2019m not so sure about what you are talking about, Ed, because you are talking about something that does sound tough and hard.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the equation:\u00a0 \u201cEnemies\u201d\u2014what a great place to start, Ed, in the equation\u2014\u201cEnemies + Friends + Loved ones = Family.\u201d\u00a0 Now, what do you mean by that?\u00a0 I mean, ultimately, you\u2019re talking about quite an interesting hodge-podge of people there\u2014enemies, friends, and loved ones.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 It seems that when you go through the New Testament, there are three groups that come out.\u00a0 You have your immediate family and the people who are your people.\u00a0 You, also, have your neighbor\u2014somebody who lives next to you\u2014your lives intersect. Occasionally, you say, \u201cHi.\u201d\u00a0 Well, Jesus obviously changes the whole idea of neighbor with the story of the Good Samaritan\u2014we sacrifice ourself for someone \/ we treat them as if they are family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, obviously, we all know something about enemies.\u00a0 And certainly, in the New Testament times, they knew something about enemies.\u00a0 When Christ comes and says that \u201cwhile you were an enemy,\u201d that\u2019s when He died.\u00a0 All of a sudden, that puts enemy in a very different category.\u00a0 We treat enemies like family.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the <em>radical<\/em> teachings of the New Testament.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Dennis, you are right.\u00a0 Is it hard?\u00a0 It is hard, but this is what we see in the person of Christ\u2014He loves enemies, He loves neighbors, and He loves family.\u00a0 If this is what we see in the person of Christ, as we get the knack of it, we are going to love it.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be hard, but we\u2019re going to thrive.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to feel a certain richness in our soul.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI appreciate what you are saying\u2014that there is nothing <em>easy<\/em> about this\u2014but how can we <em>aspire<\/em> to loving all of those groups with a little tiny bit of a smile on our face?\u2014because we recognize that we are right in the dead-center of God\u2019s plan for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you think a 13-year-old has the emotional capacity to think rightly about: \u201cWho is God?\u201d \u201cWho am I?\u201d \u201cWho is my neighbor?\u201d \u201cWho are others?\u201d and to live a selfless, sacrificial life?\u00a0 Or is their immaturity\u2014their lack of emotional development\u2014such that they just need to grow out of that phase, and they\u2019ll eventually grow up and be mature?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, they are going to grow up to be people like us, which means that we can be controlled by the opinions of other people.\u00a0 One of the things that happened\u2014when the Spirit came, which was unprecedented\u2014was even children, now, will have the Spirit and even they will know who the Lord is.\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the question is not: \u201cDo they have the Spirit?\u201d\u00a0 Of course, they have the Spirit.\u00a0 The question is: \u201cHow can we communicate in a way that makes sense to them?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s where I think the idea of the birthday is a grand one\u2014to be able to say to my granddaughter, who is petrified because she might not be wearing the right dress to school that day: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u201cHere is what you are going to do.\u00a0 You are going to go to school, and the children you see\u2014it just so happens they are all having their birthday on that day.\u00a0 When it\u2019s their birthday, you are thinking about them; and you are asking them about them and how their day has been going.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, it is: \u201cHow do we communicate effectively?\u201d They certainly have the maturity because they have access to the Spirit to grow in these things\u2014to treat another person as if it\u2019s their birthday\u2014yes, I like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I like that too.\u00a0 And parents constantly need practical ways of passing these things on.\u00a0 Do you remember a time when you were raising your teenage daughters, and they had some enemies, and you were trying to teach them how to love their enemies?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 I certainly do.\u00a0 And I can think of a few different situations.\u00a0 One situation was simply just evil rejection\u2014evil words from another person.\u00a0 And in those times, you usually say less rather than more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we just said: \u201cHoney, this is so hard.\u00a0 Let us pray for you that you would know that, not only do you have parents who love you, but you have a Father in heaven who is even with you in the midst of this.\u00a0 Somehow, Jesus knew something about rejection\u2014you\u2019re going to know something about Jesus.\u00a0 Let me pray for you.\u201d\u00a0 There were other times where it was: \u201cAlright, we\u2019re in this one together because your Mom and I have some people that we don\u2019t always like and \u2018What does it mean to love people who are cruel to us?\u2019\u00a0 That\u2019s what we are going to pray.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the nice thing about a prayer like that is you don\u2019t have to give all the ins and outs of what that looks like.\u00a0 You are praying according to the will of God.\u00a0 This is something God wants to do. So, we can ask the next day, \u201cOkay, how did we do in loving those people who are not so lovable in our lives?\u201d\u00a0 And perhaps, there will be silence all around.\u00a0 Well, we keep praying. We keep praying until somebody has some great stories to tell about how they were able to show kindness to somebody who they loved.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s actually what happened with one of my daughters\u2014where she began to move toward that person and simply showed kindness.\u00a0 In the case I\u2019m thinking of right now, they actually became friends.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it\u2019s interesting when John describes Jesus\u2014it declared Him to be full of grace and truth.\u00a0 And grace, I think, in this situation, is kind of the embodiment of love.\u00a0 And I think there are times, as parents, when we are called to step in and protect our teenagers and speak the truth in love. I remember one of our daughters had a disparaging comment about her body from a boy. She was sharing it around the dinner table.\u00a0 I picked up the phone\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Spoke to the truth in love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014I spoke the truth in love.\u00a0 And the boy\u2019s dad got on the phone with me. He said, \u201cWhy are you calling my son?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, let me just tell you what your son said.\u201d\u00a0 And I said: \u201cI\u2019m not trying to beat him up, but I want him to know that my daughter is a beautiful creation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m her daddy and I\u2019m called to protect her.\u00a0 Personally, I just don\u2019t appreciate him talking to her like this.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis, if I could extend what you are saying just a little bit more.\u00a0 You weren\u2019t simply protecting your daughter\u2014you were loving your daughter\u2014but you were also loving the person who said those comments.\u00a0 Instead of having him just live, having done those things and think it was okay, you intervened and allowed him to see the reality and the truth clearly\u2014so you were loving him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t do it many times, but there are points when you sense that prompting of God that is calling you to speak the truth in love\u2014to step out and be courageous\u2014and to do that because God has called us to love and also embrace the truth.\u00a0 <br><br>And I just want to thank you, Ed, for writing this book.\u00a0 I think this is going to be a big help to a lot of parents and their teens. What I would encourage you to do, as a listener, is get a copy of this book. I think the parents ought to go through it first\u2014kind of get the essence of what Ed is teaching here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, give the book to your son or daughter and say, \u201cLet\u2019s go through these three questions:\u00a0 \u2018Who is God?\u2019 \u2018Who am I?\u2019 and \u2018How do I relate to other people?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Begin talking about the subject of people-pleasing, and living your life for others, and put it in proper perspective. Let them know: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 It is a desire of us, as human beings, to live that way.\u00a0 We just can\u2019t make it an idol.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you\u2014the teenage years are ruthless.\u00a0 I mean, they are tough years for teenagers to navigate around this one subject alone because it can spin them off into all kinds of ditches.\u00a0 And I just appreciate your heart for moms and dads and the next generation.\u00a0 And hope you\u2019ll come back again and join us soon.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ed:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis, as you were saying those things\u2014I\u2019ve talked to my children and my grandchildren about some of those issues\u2014but you just gave me a vision.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking: \u201cI want to get out of here\u2014I want to get home\u2014and I want to say: \u2018Kids, here is what I\u2019ve been thinking about today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u2019You know, here are these critical questions\u2014\u201cWho is God?\u201d \u201cWho am I?\u201d \u201cWho are other people?\u201d \u201cHow do we treat them?\u201d\u2014and so much of our lives are wrapped up in those questions.\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about these questions again.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 So, thanks.\u00a0 I appreciate the vision you\u2019ve given me. Now, I want to get off the radio; and I want to get home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ed, you wrote the book!\u00a0 I\u2019m just giving you back your own stuff.\u00a0 There is a reason why you are excited\u2014it wasn\u2019t because I said that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I think a lot of parents could have that same conversation, Ed, with their children or their grandchildren.\u00a0 It might help if they had a copy of your book since they didn\u2019t write it.\u00a0 But we do have copies in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 The book is called <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u00a0 You can order a copy from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to the website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 In the upper left-hand corner of the screen, you\u2019ll see a link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 If you click that link, it\u2019ll take you right to where there is a screen shot of Ed\u2019s book. You can order the book from us online.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 So, either way, call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d\u2019 or order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a quick shout-out today to our friends at Hickory Ridge Community Church in Chesapeake, Virginia, where Calvin Corbitt is the pastor: \u201cHappy Pastor Appreciation Month to Pastor Corbitt.\u201d\u00a0 Recently, these guys were helping to promote the <em>I Still Do<\/em><em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em>event that we had in Washington, DC, back a few weeks ago. We are fans of local churches that make marriage and family a significant priority.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the only thing the church ought to be about, but marriage and family are pretty important.\u00a0 And I think good churches recognize that and see that they have a responsibility to try to promote godly marriages and families. A lot of these churches are partnering with us to make that happen with our resources like <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> events or the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> video curriculum.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I mentioned all of this because I just wanted those folks, who support this ministry, to know that, at FamilyLife, we believe in the priority of the local church.\u00a0 In fact, when we talk to folks about supporting our ministry, we try to make sure that we remind them that their local church ought to be the first priority when it comes to financial giving.\u00a0 We don\u2019t want them to take anything away from their giving to their local church in order to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 <br><br>But we do appreciate those of you, who are able to go above and beyond, and who make donations to support this ministry.\u00a0 We could not survive without them, and we are grateful for your partnership.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019d like to express our gratitude, this month, by sending you a resource that Barbara Rainey has developed to cultivate gratitude in your home.\u00a0 It\u2019s a chalkboard that you can hang in the house that says, \u201cIn this home we give thanks for.\u201d\u00a0 And there is a place to write what you are thankful for on the chalkboard.\u00a0 It\u2019s our gift to you when you donate to support this ministry today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the website, where it says, \u201cI Care,\u201d to make an online donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 Or you can mail a donation and request the chalkboard.\u00a0 Send your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR.\u00a0 And our zip code is 72223.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to talk about how to pick a spouse.\u00a0 Dan Chun is going to be here\u2014all the way from Hawaii. He is going to share some thoughts on the subject with us.\u00a0 Hope you can tune in for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303251","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303251"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303251"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303251"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303251"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}