{"id":303249,"date":"2014-10-28T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-10-28T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/who-does-god-say-i-am\/"},"modified":"2014-10-28T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-10-28T15:00:00","slug":"who-does-god-say-i-am","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/who-does-god-say-i-am\/","title":{"rendered":"Who Does God Say I Am?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Christian counselor Ed Welch believes most of us care too much about what others think of us. While we&#8217;re all affected by the disapproval of others, we don&#8217;t need to be owned by it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-28.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.06M","filesize_raw":"26274412","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2873,2827],"tags":[5443,5484],"podcast_series":[8042],"cwp_profile":[9004],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303249","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","category-repentance","tag-idolatry","tag-people-pleasers","podcast_series-what-do-you-think-of-me","cwp_profile-ed-welch","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303249\/who-does-god-say-i-am","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303249\/who-does-god-say-i-am","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"NUXPP7pC7o\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/who-does-god-say-i-am\/\">Who Does God Say I Am?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/who-does-god-say-i-am\/embed\/#?secret=NUXPP7pC7o\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Who Does God Say I Am?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"NUXPP7pC7o\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-28.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-28.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Think back to yesterday, for just a minute. Did anybody, yesterday, say anything nice to you about you?\u00a0 If they didn\u2019t, how did that affect your day?\u00a0 Here is author and counselor, Ed Welch. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Sometimes, I can be waddling around like this big old cup. I\u2019m going around\u2014going to my wife \/ going to my colleagues: \u201cCould you fill me up?\u201d \u201cCould you say something a little bit nice about me?\u201d \u201cHoney, could you give me some kind of affirmation?\u201d\u00a0 That all makes sense to us, but here is the nature of that: \u201cWhen we <em>live<\/em> for the approval, or the love, or the affection, or the good opinions of other people, it\u2019s insatiable. No matter how much we get, it\u2019s never enough.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 28<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll talk to Ed Welch today about some of what he calls the big questions of life: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat do you think of me?\u201d and \u201cWhy do I care so much?\u201d\u00a0 Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I have to start today with an embarrassing and humiliating confession. When I was in college, I was a volunteer leader with Young Life<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. The summer after my freshman year in college, we took a bunch of kids to one of Young Life\u2019s camps. I was aware, as a freshman college leader\u2014I was aware of the fact that the kids who were coming to the camp thought the Young Life leaders were pretty cool. I wanted to be one of those cool Young Life leaders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, while we were at the camp, I was doing my best to put my cool self forward so that there would be some affirmation of who I was. Well, I\u2019d been at the camp for four or five days when the camp director said, \u201cCould we sit down and talk?\u201d We sat down in the afternoon\u2014Thursday afternoon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cWe\u2019ve been praying about you all this week.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWho is we?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cThe staff and I have been praying about you.\u201d He said, \u201cYou have an inordinate need for attention and trying to draw attention to yourself, and it\u2019s a problem.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cI think you ought to consider some kind of Christian service that involves sweeping up after everybody else is gone.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember walking away from that meeting\u2014I remember just praying and saying, \u201cWhat was that?\u201d\u00a0 I just remember having this sense of God saying: \u201cThat was Me. I was talking to you through him.\u201d\u00a0 It was a sober kind of a self-aware turning point for me\u2014to go back and ask the question, \u201cWhy do I care so much about being the center of attention?\u201d\u00a0 It was an unhealthy issue for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It would be healthy for you to have had a relationship with the author of the book that we\u2019re talking about today, which is entitled\u2014<em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life<\/em>\u2014by Dr. Ed Welch. Ed\u2014welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe question is: \u201cAt the point Bob was a teenager, would you have had anything to say to him about the condition of how he was behaving?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting\u2014even when Bob was talking\u2014I was realizing there are two groups of people in the midst of that kind of response. One is that bold style that seems to be less affected by the opinions of other people, but it\u2019s still affected by the opinions of other people. There\u2019s the other\u2014cowering style\u2014where they hear that kind of comment, and they just turn away, in embarrassment and shame, and never want to see anybody else in the camp ever, ever again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, there are all kinds of versions to this; and Bob, your style of life is a bit bolder, and you\u2019re not immune to these things. So, that\u2019s what I was hearing from the story. I was very encouraged that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And my besetting issue, Ed, is not to think more poorly of myself than I ought\u2014it\u2019s the opposite. My besetting issue is to think more highly of myself\u2014to have that inflated self-opinion and to want everybody to affirm that around me. That was part of what was being pointed out to me, even back then. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>And there is one of the curious features of this experience\u2014that oftentimes, we feel so low because we haven\u2019t quite gotten that respect \/ that approval \/ those really good words\u2014but when we dig around, we find that there\u2019s this question, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I be great?\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s this aspiration to sort of stick out among the crowd. In the midst of that, God\u2019s words to calls us to humility are so profound and insightful to deal with this particular struggle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and there are also some people, though, that are quiet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTheir desire is not to stick out, but they\u2019re trapped by what people think about them too. Their besetting sin is not going to be, as Bob described\u2014being bold, and being out there, and trying to be cool\u2014which there are a number of personalities that are driven to that. Their besetting struggle is going to be trying to see people acknowledge them\u2014realize they\u2019re people of value and worth. They are kind of locked up and enslaved to wanting to see approval, wanting love, wanting appreciation; but don\u2019t know how to get it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We used to call it low self-esteem, back in the day. That\u2019s what we are talking about here; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Absolutely; absolutely, Bob. I would probably be on the other end of the spectrum from you\u2014where I was a much more timid person, growing up. I can remember one of the events in high school that captured so much of this for me. I was up for an award. I was scared to death that I was going to get this award. The idea of somehow being singled-out for this award and maybe even having to say \u201cThank you,\u201d to somebody if I got up on stage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the thought of it was humiliating to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut here is the <em>trap<\/em> of this kind of thinking\u2014I didn\u2019t get the award; and of course, then, I was thinking: \u201cWoe is me. I\u2019m this wretched person. Nobody loves me.\u201d\u00a0 So, my version is a much more timid version; but it\u2019s still a snare for us all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The reason we are talking about this with you is because you\u2019ve just written a book, <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s with adolescents in mind, but it\u2019s a universal human condition\u2014that we care, often, too much about the approval of the crowd\u2014what people do think of us. We <em>live<\/em> for that in an unhealthy way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>So, the deal for parents is\u2014when they talk to their children about these things, they want to have some live illustrations of how they wrestle with it. Then, they\u2019re both under God together: \u201cHow can <em>we<\/em> grow in these matters together?\u00a0 Why do <em>we<\/em> care so much?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And sometimes, this can show up in some very highly-successful people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou tell the story, in your book, about Stephen King that I think is very instructive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Well, if there is anybody who is certainly successful in the eyes of the world, he\u2019s got to be near the top of the group. Well, of course, you don\u2019t just start writing horror stories out of nowhere. He was writing them in high school, and he was writing them in high school in such a way that people were buying his stories from him\u2014that\u2019s how good he was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Well, here is his English teacher. She says this, \u201cWhat I don\u2019t understand, Stevie, is why you write junk like this in the first place.\u201d\u00a0 Here is one disparaging voice; and Stephen King says this: \u201cI was ashamed; and I have spent a good many years since\u2014too many I think\u2014being ashamed about what I write.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s your example: Here is a very successful person\u2014one voice\u2014and there\u2019s that question: \u201cWhy do I care so much about what Miss Hisler thinks about me?\u201d and \u201cWhy does it echo after all these years?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the issue that we are wrestling with right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I don\u2019t care how secure you may think you are\u2014you\u2019re very vulnerable \/ I\u2019m very vulnerable to what people say to our face, behind our backs\u2014and their opinions of us. That\u2019s really what your book is built around. It\u2019s built around three questions: \u201cWho is God?\u201d because you believe that finding out the answer to the second question\u2014\u201cWho am I?\u201d\u2014is related to the first question. If you don\u2019t know who God is, you\u2019re not going to have a proper view of yourself. Then, the third question is: \u201cWho are these people\u2014who are others\u2014and how should I relate to them?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And shouldn\u2019t it matter, at some level, Ed\u2014shouldn\u2019t we care what other people think about us?\u00a0 I mean, I remember listening to a lecture, years ago, by a secular\u2014I think he is a psychologist\u2014Daniel Goleman, who wrote a book on emotional intelligence. He said, \u201cThese people who are successful are people who are self-aware\u2014they understand who they are \/ they understand what other people think about them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is some health to being aware of these things; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>\u201cHow can we be affected by the disapproval and rejection of other people but not dominated by it \/ but not owned by it?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s the tension. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>That\u2019s the subtle difference; but it\u2019s a very, very important difference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you are saying, Ed, that it\u2019s not wrong to want people to like you?\u00a0 It is wrong when it becomes an idol. In fact, that\u2019s what you really talk about in this section about \u201cWho am I?\u201d\u00a0 You talk about idol worship. Loving ourselves too much is definitely idol worship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Yes, Dennis, there\u2014what you just did is\u2014you took an ancient concept, which is largely irrelevant because we don\u2019t have a bunch of idols laying around in our houses\u2014and you\u2019ve just updated it and made it very, very meaningful because what you are saying is\u2014those questions of: \u201cWhat do you think of me? Why do I care?\u201d\u2014when other people are <em>ruling<\/em> us\u2014notice, we just nudge that language a little bit\u2014they become our god. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey become the very center of our lives. That could be, certainly, called idolatry. Now, Scripture just opens up beautifully. Now, how do you\u2014what\u2019s the way to deal with idolatry?\u00a0 Well, certainly, one way is we know the true God\u2014we know the true God: \u201cWho is this God that we are called to worship?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the things you point out in your book is that some of those voices\u2014that can be controlling, that we are enslaved to, that have us in prison, so to speak\u2014are our parents. It\u2019s interesting that you said that in your book because I\u2019d begun to reflect on it and I thought, \u201cYou know, the fifth commandment of the Ten Commandments is, in a way, trying to help us properly relate back to our parents, as we grow up, and not be controlled by them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe fifth commandment says, \u201cHonor your father and your mother that it may go well with you,\u201d\u2014that you may live a long life and that you will be blessed in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just rereleased a book that I had written a number of years ago\u2014but we\u2019ve updated it\u2014called <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em>. Ed, I think, as people honor their parents\u2014and in this book, I call people to write a tribute to their parents. I have heard, repeatedly, what\u2019s happened in those situations\u2014those adult children are released from the idol. They are released from the opinion of their parents\u2014maybe not totally\u2014but from the controlling imprisonment that a parent may have on their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>That\u2019s a <em>great <\/em>way to proceed with that question, \u201cWho is God?\u201d What you are saying is: \u201cWe want to be more controlled by who God is and what He says rather than rejection we have experienced from our parents.\u201d\u00a0 As a result, you are saying, \u201cWe want\u2014we want to love our parents more than we want to be <em>approved<\/em> by our parents.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>That\u2019s what you are calling people to do with that book on the tribute. We were created to want to love more than we want to be loved. You are asking men and women to truly be human in their relationship with their parents. As a result, the idea of\u2014all of a sudden, feeling as though that rejection\u2014it\u2019s like they disrobe it. It no longer controls them \/ it no longer weighs them down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s because they have\u2014in the background, the Spirit has been doing something. They\u2019ve known their God\u2014they\u2019ve been pursuing God \/ they\u2019ve been responding to Him\u2014and they are saying, \u201cNo, the rejection of other people will not keep me from loving them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The two questions that are the title of your book\u2014\u201cWhat do you think of me? Why do I care?\u201d\u2014don\u2019t you find there are some people who are asking that question perpetually of God? They are enslaved in their relationship with God because they have answers to those questions in their minds that aren\u2019t, necessarily, biblical answers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey think their performance is going to define their relationship with God, and they are constantly trying to win His approval and His performance\u2014which at one level, we want to commend\u2014but on another level, it can drive you off the cliff; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Yes, here is the question we are starting with: \u201cWhat do you think about me?\u00a0 Why do I care about that so much?\u201d\u00a0 We are going to these more basic questions: \u201cWho is God? Who am I? Who are other people?\u201d\u00a0 <em>Absolutely<\/em>, that question: \u201cWho is God?\u201d\u2014to pause on that one\u2014perhaps, Bob, what I think you are suggesting, is: \u201cWho do we <em>really<\/em> think that God is?\u201d because the way we really think about God is not necessarily what Scripture says about who our God is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Dennis, going back to your comment\u2014so often, God simply wears the mask of our parents. His voice sounds peculiarly like a parent who strongly rejected us. I think that is probably the first step in answering that question, \u201cWho is God?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, \u201cWho do we presently think God is?\u201d\u2014because it might not be the way He actually has revealed Himself to us. So, it\u2019s a big question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s good for people\u2014it\u2019s good for me to meditate on the declaration that God makes in Exodus, and then several times in the Scriptures, where it says: \u201cThe Lord our God is full of compassion. He is full of mercy. His loving kindness endures forever. He will not visit the iniquity on generations.\u201d\u00a0 There is just this reminder that God is a God of grace, He is a God of mercy, He is a God of forgiveness; and there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. We can get off the performance wheel in our relationship with God and find rest in knowing Him and being known by Him; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>That Exodus 32 passage is a great way\u2014one of the best Old Testament passages for knowing God more accurately. \u201cWho are we?\u201d\u00a0 We are a bunch of idolaters who, as soon as we think God is in the mountains, we are off, worshiping our idols. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWho is God?\u201d\u00a0 What does He say to us while we are in the midst of pursuing our idols?\u00a0 He says in Exodus 32, \u201cThe gracious and compassionate God\u2014slow to anger.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a forerunner of knowing who Jesus really is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd notice how that deals with that question: \u201cWhat do you think about me, and why do I care?\u201d\u2014it makes it a little less important because we\u2019ve seen someone who is so much more important than the opinions of other people. It\u2019s not that they don\u2019t affect us anymore. They just don\u2019t have center stage because we <em>know<\/em> our God, truly; and there is <em>nothing<\/em> more blessed than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, let\u2019s go back to Bob\u2019s teenage years and his confession that he made, earlier, about how he was trying to be the center of the party. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And by the way, there is a little epilogue to that because for the next year after that, I was going to my friends and I was saying: \u201cI\u2019ve become aware of an issue with pride in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIt\u2019s something that I struggle with.\u201d\u00a0 What I found was I got approval and favor if I was confessing like that. So, for about a year, without dealing with my pride, I just used that as a way to continue to get\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you weren\u2019t actually dealing with it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No. I wasn\u2019t dealing with anything because what I found was just a trick\u2014if I just say, \u201cYes, I\u2019m really dealing with this pride issue,\u201d people thought more highly of me. I thought: \u201cThat\u2019s a great trick. I\u2019m going to keep trying that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, that\u2019s a good\u2014that\u2019s really a good segue into my question for parents now. Help a parent know how to equip a teenager who\u2014this illustrates the way they think. I mean, it\u2019s a period in life where their emotional maturity, spiritual maturity, physical maturity hasn\u2019t caught up\u2014it\u2019s not in place. All formation of character and everything is not finished. There have been a lot of blocks laid by the parent, but they\u2019re emerging into adulthood. Coach a parent in how to take a child, at that point, who really is struggling with being enormously selfish and building into their lives so that selfishness doesn\u2019t win the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>So, we have these three questions that we are considering\u2014we want to keep those before our children: \u201cWho really is this God?\u201d \u201cWho are we?\u201d and \u201cWho are other people?\u201d\u00a0 We want those questions to be a part of our conversations with our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I think, Dennis, one of the things you are getting at is sort of that question: \u201cWho am I?\u201d Going back to Bob\u2019s illustration\u2014Bob, who are you?\u00a0 Let\u2019s start with God. We have a God who delights in forgiving sins\u2014that makes Him stand out among all the made-up god\u2019s in the world. You don\u2019t have to win His favor back. He delights in forgiving sins. \u201cWho are we?\u201d\u00a0 We are people who\u2014we want to be great\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>\u2014something where we can say, \u201cThis is ours.\u201d\u00a0 Well, if we understand Scripture correctly, that really makes sense. As human beings, we want to stand out; but it also makes sense that it\u2019s an expression of our own pride. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want something, in <em>ourselves,<\/em> that we can call our own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what do parents offer to their children?\u2014same thing they offer to themselves. Part of growing in wisdom is\u2014we are people who simply confess our sins. And here is what we know about our lives right now\u2014that we are more prideful than we realize. Even when we feel really low, we can scratch around and find the little bit more pride than we realize. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>And for me, personally, this question: \u201cWhat do you think about me?\u201d and \u201cWhy do I care?\u201d\u2014it leads me to a confession that goes like this: \u201cLord, why do I care so much about me?\u00a0 Would You reorient me and help me to care about other people a little bit more than me?\u00a0 Help me care about who You are more than I care about myself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, that\u2019s\u2014how do you grow in wisdom?\u00a0 Well, we teach our children how to confess things\u2014and not just that they were mean to their brother or sister\u2014but to go deeper than that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that we are, ultimately, prideful people \/ we want to be above rather than under\u2014to be able to confess\u2014but also, to have joy in confession because we know the God who loves to forgive His people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s excellent. I hope parents really heard what you said there. I want to add two additional things to your statement. Number one, I think we have to teach our kids that it is God who made us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Which, by the way, means you have dibs over whatever you\u2019ve made\u2014that belongs to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>So, if God is our Creator, it means we belong to Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Then, He went and repurchased you with the redemption through the message of Easter. You\u2019ve got the gospel right there. But then, the second thing is that God has a plan for your life, as a teenager: \u201cAs you fulfill Almighty God\u2019s plan, you are going to be living out the ultimate adventure \/ the ultimate journey\u2014walking with the Creator of the universe, in this broken world, offering hope to other people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAs a teenager, you\u201d\u2014listen to me, son \/ listen to me, my daughter\u2014\u201cyou need to be on a mission. You don\u2019t need to be a mission field. You need to be about what God has for your life, in fulfilling what He has for you and impacting other people.\u201d I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014the teenager, who is on a mission, stands out in the very best sense of that phrase. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think, sometimes, when we tell our teenagers, \u201cGod has a plan for your life,\u201d we are thinking and they are thinking: \u201cWell, yes, one day, God wants me to live out that plan. Right now, I\u2019m a teenager; but God\u2019s plan for my life is kind of post-college.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re saying: \u201cGod has a plan for you right now \/ today to be on that mission. It\u2019s not something that you wait until you graduate from college and, then, the plan kicks in\u201d\u2014right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And teenagers desperately need that mission and that vision for life <em>now<\/em>. They don\u2019t need it later. They need it <em>now<\/em> because the peer pressure and the culture\u2019s pressure are very real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I think they need to have an accurate answer to: \u201cWho am I?\u201d \u201cWho is God?\u201d and \u201cWho are other people?\u201d\u2014the three questions that Ed points us to in the book\u2014 <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life<\/em>. It\u2019s a book that we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I have already mentioned this week that I passed this on to the guy who runs Student Ministries at our church. It\u2019s being used with our students this fall. It\u2019s a great book for young people to work their way through. And I think it\u2019s a good book for all of us to spend some time exploring. You could do this as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got the book\u2014<em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u2014in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. When you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, in the upper left-hand corner of the page, it says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 If you click there, you\u2019ll see the screen shot of the book. You can click on that and order from us if you\u2019d like. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d to order Ed\u2019s book. Or call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the month of October\u2014as we\u2019ve been acknowledging this month\u2014is Pastor Appreciation month. I hope you have found a way to honor and esteem and say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to your pastor or to the men and women who serve you in your local church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe recently heard about a church in Virginia Beach, Virginia, Lynnhaven United Methodist Church, where Chuck Passarelli is a pastor. They\u2019ve been taking men through the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em> DVD series that FamilyLife has created. You know, we always get encouraged when we hear about churches using FamilyLife resources because we designed these in hopes that they would serve the local church\u2014that they would be able to be used in local church settings and could be a blessing to these churches. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to the folks who support this ministry because you make these resources available. You make it possible for us to get them out in the hands of local churches so they can be used more widely. We appreciate your financial support. You not only help keep <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on this station, but you make everything we do here possible. And we are grateful for your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can make a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a resource that Barbara Rainey has designed for your home. It\u2019s a chalkboard that is in the shape of a house. It says at the top, \u201cIn this home we give thanks for\u201d and then, you can write, in chalk, the things you\u2019re thankful for\u2014just a great way to cultivate gratitude in your home all year long. The chalkboard is our way to say that we are grateful for you when you make a donation today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can make an online donation. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone. If you do that, be sure to request the chalkboard so we can send it to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail a donation, along with your request for the chalkboard, to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to conclude our conversation with Ed Welch as we talk about these big questions of: \u201cWhat do you think of me? and \u201cWhy do I care?\u201d\u2014our need for the approval of others. We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. Hope you can tune in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.06M"],"filesize_raw":["26274412"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303249.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303249.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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counselor Ed Welch believes most of us care too much about what others think of us. While we're all affected by the disapproval of others, we don't need to be owned by it.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-28.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Think back to yesterday, for just a minute. Did anybody, yesterday, say anything nice to you about you?\u00a0 If they didn\u2019t, how did that affect your day?\u00a0 Here is author and counselor, Ed Welch. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Sometimes, I can be waddling around like this big old cup. I\u2019m going around\u2014going to my wife \/ going to my colleagues: \u201cCould you fill me up?\u201d \u201cCould you say something a little bit nice about me?\u201d \u201cHoney, could you give me some kind of affirmation?\u201d\u00a0 That all makes sense to us, but here is the nature of that: \u201cWhen we <em>live<\/em> for the approval, or the love, or the affection, or the good opinions of other people, it\u2019s insatiable. No matter how much we get, it\u2019s never enough.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 28<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll talk to Ed Welch today about some of what he calls the big questions of life: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat do you think of me?\u201d and \u201cWhy do I care so much?\u201d\u00a0 Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I have to start today with an embarrassing and humiliating confession. When I was in college, I was a volunteer leader with Young Life<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. The summer after my freshman year in college, we took a bunch of kids to one of Young Life\u2019s camps. I was aware, as a freshman college leader\u2014I was aware of the fact that the kids who were coming to the camp thought the Young Life leaders were pretty cool. I wanted to be one of those cool Young Life leaders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, while we were at the camp, I was doing my best to put my cool self forward so that there would be some affirmation of who I was. Well, I\u2019d been at the camp for four or five days when the camp director said, \u201cCould we sit down and talk?\u201d We sat down in the afternoon\u2014Thursday afternoon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cWe\u2019ve been praying about you all this week.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWho is we?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cThe staff and I have been praying about you.\u201d He said, \u201cYou have an inordinate need for attention and trying to draw attention to yourself, and it\u2019s a problem.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cI think you ought to consider some kind of Christian service that involves sweeping up after everybody else is gone.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember walking away from that meeting\u2014I remember just praying and saying, \u201cWhat was that?\u201d\u00a0 I just remember having this sense of God saying: \u201cThat was Me. I was talking to you through him.\u201d\u00a0 It was a sober kind of a self-aware turning point for me\u2014to go back and ask the question, \u201cWhy do I care so much about being the center of attention?\u201d\u00a0 It was an unhealthy issue for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It would be healthy for you to have had a relationship with the author of the book that we\u2019re talking about today, which is entitled\u2014<em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life<\/em>\u2014by Dr. Ed Welch. Ed\u2014welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe question is: \u201cAt the point Bob was a teenager, would you have had anything to say to him about the condition of how he was behaving?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting\u2014even when Bob was talking\u2014I was realizing there are two groups of people in the midst of that kind of response. One is that bold style that seems to be less affected by the opinions of other people, but it\u2019s still affected by the opinions of other people. There\u2019s the other\u2014cowering style\u2014where they hear that kind of comment, and they just turn away, in embarrassment and shame, and never want to see anybody else in the camp ever, ever again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, there are all kinds of versions to this; and Bob, your style of life is a bit bolder, and you\u2019re not immune to these things. So, that\u2019s what I was hearing from the story. I was very encouraged that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And my besetting issue, Ed, is not to think more poorly of myself than I ought\u2014it\u2019s the opposite. My besetting issue is to think more highly of myself\u2014to have that inflated self-opinion and to want everybody to affirm that around me. That was part of what was being pointed out to me, even back then. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>And there is one of the curious features of this experience\u2014that oftentimes, we feel so low because we haven\u2019t quite gotten that respect \/ that approval \/ those really good words\u2014but when we dig around, we find that there\u2019s this question, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I be great?\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s this aspiration to sort of stick out among the crowd. In the midst of that, God\u2019s words to calls us to humility are so profound and insightful to deal with this particular struggle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and there are also some people, though, that are quiet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTheir desire is not to stick out, but they\u2019re trapped by what people think about them too. Their besetting sin is not going to be, as Bob described\u2014being bold, and being out there, and trying to be cool\u2014which there are a number of personalities that are driven to that. Their besetting struggle is going to be trying to see people acknowledge them\u2014realize they\u2019re people of value and worth. They are kind of locked up and enslaved to wanting to see approval, wanting love, wanting appreciation; but don\u2019t know how to get it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We used to call it low self-esteem, back in the day. That\u2019s what we are talking about here; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Absolutely; absolutely, Bob. I would probably be on the other end of the spectrum from you\u2014where I was a much more timid person, growing up. I can remember one of the events in high school that captured so much of this for me. I was up for an award. I was scared to death that I was going to get this award. The idea of somehow being singled-out for this award and maybe even having to say \u201cThank you,\u201d to somebody if I got up on stage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the thought of it was humiliating to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut here is the <em>trap<\/em> of this kind of thinking\u2014I didn\u2019t get the award; and of course, then, I was thinking: \u201cWoe is me. I\u2019m this wretched person. Nobody loves me.\u201d\u00a0 So, my version is a much more timid version; but it\u2019s still a snare for us all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The reason we are talking about this with you is because you\u2019ve just written a book, <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s with adolescents in mind, but it\u2019s a universal human condition\u2014that we care, often, too much about the approval of the crowd\u2014what people do think of us. We <em>live<\/em> for that in an unhealthy way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>So, the deal for parents is\u2014when they talk to their children about these things, they want to have some live illustrations of how they wrestle with it. Then, they\u2019re both under God together: \u201cHow can <em>we<\/em> grow in these matters together?\u00a0 Why do <em>we<\/em> care so much?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And sometimes, this can show up in some very highly-successful people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou tell the story, in your book, about Stephen King that I think is very instructive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Well, if there is anybody who is certainly successful in the eyes of the world, he\u2019s got to be near the top of the group. Well, of course, you don\u2019t just start writing horror stories out of nowhere. He was writing them in high school, and he was writing them in high school in such a way that people were buying his stories from him\u2014that\u2019s how good he was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Well, here is his English teacher. She says this, \u201cWhat I don\u2019t understand, Stevie, is why you write junk like this in the first place.\u201d\u00a0 Here is one disparaging voice; and Stephen King says this: \u201cI was ashamed; and I have spent a good many years since\u2014too many I think\u2014being ashamed about what I write.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s your example: Here is a very successful person\u2014one voice\u2014and there\u2019s that question: \u201cWhy do I care so much about what Miss Hisler thinks about me?\u201d and \u201cWhy does it echo after all these years?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the issue that we are wrestling with right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I don\u2019t care how secure you may think you are\u2014you\u2019re very vulnerable \/ I\u2019m very vulnerable to what people say to our face, behind our backs\u2014and their opinions of us. That\u2019s really what your book is built around. It\u2019s built around three questions: \u201cWho is God?\u201d because you believe that finding out the answer to the second question\u2014\u201cWho am I?\u201d\u2014is related to the first question. If you don\u2019t know who God is, you\u2019re not going to have a proper view of yourself. Then, the third question is: \u201cWho are these people\u2014who are others\u2014and how should I relate to them?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And shouldn\u2019t it matter, at some level, Ed\u2014shouldn\u2019t we care what other people think about us?\u00a0 I mean, I remember listening to a lecture, years ago, by a secular\u2014I think he is a psychologist\u2014Daniel Goleman, who wrote a book on emotional intelligence. He said, \u201cThese people who are successful are people who are self-aware\u2014they understand who they are \/ they understand what other people think about them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is some health to being aware of these things; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>\u201cHow can we be affected by the disapproval and rejection of other people but not dominated by it \/ but not owned by it?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s the tension. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>That\u2019s the subtle difference; but it\u2019s a very, very important difference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you are saying, Ed, that it\u2019s not wrong to want people to like you?\u00a0 It is wrong when it becomes an idol. In fact, that\u2019s what you really talk about in this section about \u201cWho am I?\u201d\u00a0 You talk about idol worship. Loving ourselves too much is definitely idol worship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Yes, Dennis, there\u2014what you just did is\u2014you took an ancient concept, which is largely irrelevant because we don\u2019t have a bunch of idols laying around in our houses\u2014and you\u2019ve just updated it and made it very, very meaningful because what you are saying is\u2014those questions of: \u201cWhat do you think of me? Why do I care?\u201d\u2014when other people are <em>ruling<\/em> us\u2014notice, we just nudge that language a little bit\u2014they become our god. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey become the very center of our lives. That could be, certainly, called idolatry. Now, Scripture just opens up beautifully. Now, how do you\u2014what\u2019s the way to deal with idolatry?\u00a0 Well, certainly, one way is we know the true God\u2014we know the true God: \u201cWho is this God that we are called to worship?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the things you point out in your book is that some of those voices\u2014that can be controlling, that we are enslaved to, that have us in prison, so to speak\u2014are our parents. It\u2019s interesting that you said that in your book because I\u2019d begun to reflect on it and I thought, \u201cYou know, the fifth commandment of the Ten Commandments is, in a way, trying to help us properly relate back to our parents, as we grow up, and not be controlled by them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe fifth commandment says, \u201cHonor your father and your mother that it may go well with you,\u201d\u2014that you may live a long life and that you will be blessed in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just rereleased a book that I had written a number of years ago\u2014but we\u2019ve updated it\u2014called <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em>. Ed, I think, as people honor their parents\u2014and in this book, I call people to write a tribute to their parents. I have heard, repeatedly, what\u2019s happened in those situations\u2014those adult children are released from the idol. They are released from the opinion of their parents\u2014maybe not totally\u2014but from the controlling imprisonment that a parent may have on their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>That\u2019s a <em>great <\/em>way to proceed with that question, \u201cWho is God?\u201d What you are saying is: \u201cWe want to be more controlled by who God is and what He says rather than rejection we have experienced from our parents.\u201d\u00a0 As a result, you are saying, \u201cWe want\u2014we want to love our parents more than we want to be <em>approved<\/em> by our parents.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>That\u2019s what you are calling people to do with that book on the tribute. We were created to want to love more than we want to be loved. You are asking men and women to truly be human in their relationship with their parents. As a result, the idea of\u2014all of a sudden, feeling as though that rejection\u2014it\u2019s like they disrobe it. It no longer controls them \/ it no longer weighs them down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s because they have\u2014in the background, the Spirit has been doing something. They\u2019ve known their God\u2014they\u2019ve been pursuing God \/ they\u2019ve been responding to Him\u2014and they are saying, \u201cNo, the rejection of other people will not keep me from loving them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The two questions that are the title of your book\u2014\u201cWhat do you think of me? Why do I care?\u201d\u2014don\u2019t you find there are some people who are asking that question perpetually of God? They are enslaved in their relationship with God because they have answers to those questions in their minds that aren\u2019t, necessarily, biblical answers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey think their performance is going to define their relationship with God, and they are constantly trying to win His approval and His performance\u2014which at one level, we want to commend\u2014but on another level, it can drive you off the cliff; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Yes, here is the question we are starting with: \u201cWhat do you think about me?\u00a0 Why do I care about that so much?\u201d\u00a0 We are going to these more basic questions: \u201cWho is God? Who am I? Who are other people?\u201d\u00a0 <em>Absolutely<\/em>, that question: \u201cWho is God?\u201d\u2014to pause on that one\u2014perhaps, Bob, what I think you are suggesting, is: \u201cWho do we <em>really<\/em> think that God is?\u201d because the way we really think about God is not necessarily what Scripture says about who our God is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Dennis, going back to your comment\u2014so often, God simply wears the mask of our parents. His voice sounds peculiarly like a parent who strongly rejected us. I think that is probably the first step in answering that question, \u201cWho is God?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, \u201cWho do we presently think God is?\u201d\u2014because it might not be the way He actually has revealed Himself to us. So, it\u2019s a big question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s good for people\u2014it\u2019s good for me to meditate on the declaration that God makes in Exodus, and then several times in the Scriptures, where it says: \u201cThe Lord our God is full of compassion. He is full of mercy. His loving kindness endures forever. He will not visit the iniquity on generations.\u201d\u00a0 There is just this reminder that God is a God of grace, He is a God of mercy, He is a God of forgiveness; and there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. We can get off the performance wheel in our relationship with God and find rest in knowing Him and being known by Him; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>That Exodus 32 passage is a great way\u2014one of the best Old Testament passages for knowing God more accurately. \u201cWho are we?\u201d\u00a0 We are a bunch of idolaters who, as soon as we think God is in the mountains, we are off, worshiping our idols. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWho is God?\u201d\u00a0 What does He say to us while we are in the midst of pursuing our idols?\u00a0 He says in Exodus 32, \u201cThe gracious and compassionate God\u2014slow to anger.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a forerunner of knowing who Jesus really is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd notice how that deals with that question: \u201cWhat do you think about me, and why do I care?\u201d\u2014it makes it a little less important because we\u2019ve seen someone who is so much more important than the opinions of other people. It\u2019s not that they don\u2019t affect us anymore. They just don\u2019t have center stage because we <em>know<\/em> our God, truly; and there is <em>nothing<\/em> more blessed than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, let\u2019s go back to Bob\u2019s teenage years and his confession that he made, earlier, about how he was trying to be the center of the party. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And by the way, there is a little epilogue to that because for the next year after that, I was going to my friends and I was saying: \u201cI\u2019ve become aware of an issue with pride in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIt\u2019s something that I struggle with.\u201d\u00a0 What I found was I got approval and favor if I was confessing like that. So, for about a year, without dealing with my pride, I just used that as a way to continue to get\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you weren\u2019t actually dealing with it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No. I wasn\u2019t dealing with anything because what I found was just a trick\u2014if I just say, \u201cYes, I\u2019m really dealing with this pride issue,\u201d people thought more highly of me. I thought: \u201cThat\u2019s a great trick. I\u2019m going to keep trying that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, that\u2019s a good\u2014that\u2019s really a good segue into my question for parents now. Help a parent know how to equip a teenager who\u2014this illustrates the way they think. I mean, it\u2019s a period in life where their emotional maturity, spiritual maturity, physical maturity hasn\u2019t caught up\u2014it\u2019s not in place. All formation of character and everything is not finished. There have been a lot of blocks laid by the parent, but they\u2019re emerging into adulthood. Coach a parent in how to take a child, at that point, who really is struggling with being enormously selfish and building into their lives so that selfishness doesn\u2019t win the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>So, we have these three questions that we are considering\u2014we want to keep those before our children: \u201cWho really is this God?\u201d \u201cWho are we?\u201d and \u201cWho are other people?\u201d\u00a0 We want those questions to be a part of our conversations with our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I think, Dennis, one of the things you are getting at is sort of that question: \u201cWho am I?\u201d Going back to Bob\u2019s illustration\u2014Bob, who are you?\u00a0 Let\u2019s start with God. We have a God who delights in forgiving sins\u2014that makes Him stand out among all the made-up god\u2019s in the world. You don\u2019t have to win His favor back. He delights in forgiving sins. \u201cWho are we?\u201d\u00a0 We are people who\u2014we want to be great\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>\u2014something where we can say, \u201cThis is ours.\u201d\u00a0 Well, if we understand Scripture correctly, that really makes sense. As human beings, we want to stand out; but it also makes sense that it\u2019s an expression of our own pride. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want something, in <em>ourselves,<\/em> that we can call our own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what do parents offer to their children?\u2014same thing they offer to themselves. Part of growing in wisdom is\u2014we are people who simply confess our sins. And here is what we know about our lives right now\u2014that we are more prideful than we realize. Even when we feel really low, we can scratch around and find the little bit more pride than we realize. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>And for me, personally, this question: \u201cWhat do you think about me?\u201d and \u201cWhy do I care?\u201d\u2014it leads me to a confession that goes like this: \u201cLord, why do I care so much about me?\u00a0 Would You reorient me and help me to care about other people a little bit more than me?\u00a0 Help me care about who You are more than I care about myself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, that\u2019s\u2014how do you grow in wisdom?\u00a0 Well, we teach our children how to confess things\u2014and not just that they were mean to their brother or sister\u2014but to go deeper than that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that we are, ultimately, prideful people \/ we want to be above rather than under\u2014to be able to confess\u2014but also, to have joy in confession because we know the God who loves to forgive His people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s excellent. I hope parents really heard what you said there. I want to add two additional things to your statement. Number one, I think we have to teach our kids that it is God who made us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Which, by the way, means you have dibs over whatever you\u2019ve made\u2014that belongs to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>So, if God is our Creator, it means we belong to Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Then, He went and repurchased you with the redemption through the message of Easter. You\u2019ve got the gospel right there. But then, the second thing is that God has a plan for your life, as a teenager: \u201cAs you fulfill Almighty God\u2019s plan, you are going to be living out the ultimate adventure \/ the ultimate journey\u2014walking with the Creator of the universe, in this broken world, offering hope to other people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAs a teenager, you\u201d\u2014listen to me, son \/ listen to me, my daughter\u2014\u201cyou need to be on a mission. You don\u2019t need to be a mission field. You need to be about what God has for your life, in fulfilling what He has for you and impacting other people.\u201d I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014the teenager, who is on a mission, stands out in the very best sense of that phrase. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think, sometimes, when we tell our teenagers, \u201cGod has a plan for your life,\u201d we are thinking and they are thinking: \u201cWell, yes, one day, God wants me to live out that plan. Right now, I\u2019m a teenager; but God\u2019s plan for my life is kind of post-college.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re saying: \u201cGod has a plan for you right now \/ today to be on that mission. It\u2019s not something that you wait until you graduate from college and, then, the plan kicks in\u201d\u2014right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And teenagers desperately need that mission and that vision for life <em>now<\/em>. They don\u2019t need it later. They need it <em>now<\/em> because the peer pressure and the culture\u2019s pressure are very real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I think they need to have an accurate answer to: \u201cWho am I?\u201d \u201cWho is God?\u201d and \u201cWho are other people?\u201d\u2014the three questions that Ed points us to in the book\u2014 <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life<\/em>. It\u2019s a book that we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I have already mentioned this week that I passed this on to the guy who runs Student Ministries at our church. It\u2019s being used with our students this fall. It\u2019s a great book for young people to work their way through. And I think it\u2019s a good book for all of us to spend some time exploring. You could do this as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got the book\u2014<em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u2014in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. When you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, in the upper left-hand corner of the page, it says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 If you click there, you\u2019ll see the screen shot of the book. You can click on that and order from us if you\u2019d like. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d to order Ed\u2019s book. Or call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the month of October\u2014as we\u2019ve been acknowledging this month\u2014is Pastor Appreciation month. I hope you have found a way to honor and esteem and say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to your pastor or to the men and women who serve you in your local church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe recently heard about a church in Virginia Beach, Virginia, Lynnhaven United Methodist Church, where Chuck Passarelli is a pastor. They\u2019ve been taking men through the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em> DVD series that FamilyLife has created. You know, we always get encouraged when we hear about churches using FamilyLife resources because we designed these in hopes that they would serve the local church\u2014that they would be able to be used in local church settings and could be a blessing to these churches. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to the folks who support this ministry because you make these resources available. You make it possible for us to get them out in the hands of local churches so they can be used more widely. We appreciate your financial support. You not only help keep <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on this station, but you make everything we do here possible. And we are grateful for your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can make a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a resource that Barbara Rainey has designed for your home. It\u2019s a chalkboard that is in the shape of a house. It says at the top, \u201cIn this home we give thanks for\u201d and then, you can write, in chalk, the things you\u2019re thankful for\u2014just a great way to cultivate gratitude in your home all year long. The chalkboard is our way to say that we are grateful for you when you make a donation today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can make an online donation. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone. If you do that, be sure to request the chalkboard so we can send it to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail a donation, along with your request for the chalkboard, to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to conclude our conversation with Ed Welch as we talk about these big questions of: \u201cWhat do you think of me? and \u201cWhy do I care?\u201d\u2014our need for the approval of others. We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. Hope you can tune in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303249"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303249"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303249"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303249"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}