{"id":303247,"date":"2014-10-27T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-10-27T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/who-is-god-who-am-i\/"},"modified":"2014-10-27T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-10-27T15:00:00","slug":"who-is-god-who-am-i","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/who-is-god-who-am-i\/","title":{"rendered":"Who is God? Who am I?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Biblical counselor Ed Welch explains that our desire for love isn&#8217;t evil, but that in some instances we want it too much; so much so, in fact, that we can be controlled by what others think.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-27.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.77M","filesize_raw":"23880827","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2873,2827],"tags":[5443,5484],"podcast_series":[8042],"cwp_profile":[9004],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303247","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","category-repentance","tag-idolatry","tag-people-pleasers","podcast_series-what-do-you-think-of-me","cwp_profile-ed-welch","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303247\/who-is-god-who-am-i","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303247\/who-is-god-who-am-i","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"vDONaBHCci\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/who-is-god-who-am-i\/\">Who is God? Who am I?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/who-is-god-who-am-i\/embed\/#?secret=vDONaBHCci\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Who is God? Who am I?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"vDONaBHCci\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-27.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-27.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you addicted to affirmation?\u00a0 Ed Welch says a lot of us are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Here is what all people wrestle with\u2014here is something I wrestle with: \u201cWhat do people think about me?\u201d and, \u201cWhy do I care so much about that?\u201d\u00a0 The Scripture gives illustration after illustration that says how there are two possibilities. You either trust in God, or you trust in other people. You trust in what God has said, or you put your trust in other people and the approval and the protection that they can give you. That\u2019s the story of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, October 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Just how much do you care about what other people think of you, and should you care at all?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to explore that subject today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for joining us. I have kind of an interesting question for you. If you were sitting down with somebody who was applying for a job, here at FamilyLife, and this person said to you: \u201cI think one of the things that might qualify me for this job\u2014one of the things that makes me hirable is that I am immune to peer pressure. I don\u2019t bend to peer pressure. I do what I think is the right thing to do, regardless of what the crowd thinks is the right thing to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I would immediately do a drug test. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s a good answer!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s like, \u201cYes; okay.\u201d [Laughter] Last night, I was interviewing a young lady with Barbara, my wife\u2014a young lady, I think, who will go to work with us, here at FamilyLife. That\u2019s where I thought you were going with that. She didn\u2019t have any statements like that, but we are all too desperately human. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a friend with us, back on the broadcast\u2014Dr. Ed Welch, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis. It\u2019s good to be with you guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ed is a licensed psychologist. He is a faculty member at the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. He and his wife Sheri have two married daughters and seven grandchildren; and he has written a number of books. His latest one is <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em> You say, early in the book, you have written this book with 15-25 year olds in mind. Why did you do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>I would have liked somebody to speak to me about these things when I was 15 and 16, and 25 and 30, for that matter. These are issues that we all wrestle with\u2014and to be able to think about them, biblically, earlier on, is a great gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There is a destructive side to these questions you ask, in the title of the book: \u201cWhat do you think of me?\u201d and\u201cWhy do I care?\u201d Some people\u2019s lives are controlled by those two questions; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>This morning, I read some material by a famous artist. His goal in life was to find some kind of approval\u2014some kind of fame. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI read an article on political action groups and the big donors to these political action groups\u2014they interviewed one of them. They said: \u201cThis is great!\u00a0 I finally have the fame\u2014instead of being in the background, I am <em>finally<\/em> known and seen by other people.\u201d\u00a0 You can see this desperate desire to somehow win the approval of others\u2014and we are talking about people in 50s and 60s, at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the nature of life. It\u2019s this high school reunion\u2014that\u2019s the experience of life\u2014where you are trying to put your resume forward to these people you haven\u2019t seen for a year, five years, and ten years\u2014and you want to look a little bit better than the person next to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I just have to take a step back and ask more of a fundamental question\u2014just about us, as human beings: \u201cWhat is at the root of this desire to be liked?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Certainly, the desire to be part of a group is a natural desire. That is part of the way we were created\u2014so, to fit in, to not be rejected and cast out, to desire love from other people\u2014that is just a plain, good thing. The question, Dennis\u2014that you are getting at\u2014is the question that we have to be asking ourselves in the Christian life. Some of our problems are not necessarily we want something that\u2019s so evil, but it\u2019s that we want something <em>so much<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s when things get difficult. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have got to be relationally-aware to function well as people. The question is: \u201cAre we controlled by what other people are thinking or feeling?\u201d or \u201cAre we aware, and alert, and responsive to that?\u201d\u00a0 There really is a difference between being controlled and being responsive; isn\u2019t there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Absolutely. You\u2019re going to\u2014as you are talking, I\u2019m thinking of two situations in my own life. One is\u2014I have children and grandchildren. I\u2019m looking forward to talking about these things with them a little bit more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the other is\u2014I am married. This is a perpetual issue for people, who are married\u2014that time when I don\u2019t feel approved or loved\u2014when my wife is thinking about me a little bit <em>less<\/em> than I would like her to think\u2014that is the real crucible of marriage: \u201cWill I be able to love her, at that point; or will I lash out in anger or turn away in my own grief?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I want to be thinking about marriage; and I also want to be thinking, \u201cWhat are questions I can be asking my kids and my grandkids?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and as you think about your kids and grandkids, it is the adolescent years when this seems to come out the most. I mean, that\u2019s when we\u2014as human beings, it appears\u2014suffer from immaturity and emotional instability that makes us most vulnerable to peer pressure \/ to what other people think of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s called peer pressure during the adolescent years. For some reason, when we are older, we don\u2019t talk about it as peer pressure quite as much; but we struggle with it just the same. For some reason, we are able to talk about it with teenagers as if they corner the market on it, but they haven\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt certainly exists in my five-year-old granddaughter\u2014when she\u2019s afraid to go to school because she has an outfit that she isn\u2019t quite sure what people are going to think of when she goes to school\u2014and she cries hysterically before she goes to school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have two distinct memories from my adolescence, related to the subject of this book. One is being in the eighth grade and watching other guys and girls start to pair off\u2014where somebody had a boyfriend \/ somebody had a girlfriend\u2014and starting to feel, \u201cI need a girlfriend,\u201d\u2014didn\u2019t matter to me who she was\u2014I just needed a girlfriend. I was being driven by what was the cultural surrounding I was in and felt a need for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also remember being at a party one night. This was a high school party\u2014a bunch of us together. I remember that there was this guy, who was a friend of mine\u2014who was kind of quiet, kind of shy, a little reserved\u2014and the girls thought he was just the cutest. I mean, part of his shyness and reserved\u2014was a mystery that drew them to him. So, I thought, \u201cWell, I need to start acting shy and reserved,\u201d which was completely not my personality!\u00a0 Neither of those situations worked out well for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Here is the part of this discussion I find <em>so<\/em>, <em>so<\/em> encouraging\u2014that we can multiply these stories forever. You can go back to yesterday\u2014or you can go back to high school or you can go back to when you were four years old\u2014and you can multiply the stories. What is encouraging to us is that so many people have taken their best shot at this particular human dilemma, and they are not eroding the thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have this living Word of God\u2014that both <em>identifies<\/em> it and gives us a way <em>through<\/em> it. It\u2019s just another aspect of the sheer brilliance of God\u2019s Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, let\u2019s talk about that for a moment. If you are coaching a mom and dad, who are raising a teenager\u2014maybe a young adult today\u2014and they want to really equip their son or daughter to have a proper view of themselves\u2014where do they start?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Well, one place to start, real specifically, would be to ask these questions: \u201cSon\/Daughter, here is what all people wrestle with \/ here is something I wrestle with: \u2018What do people think about me?\u2019 and \u2018Why do I care so much about that?\u2019\u201d\u2014for us to be able to identify it in our lives and have the freedom to identify it because the Scripture gives illustration after illustration that says, \u201cWelcome to humanity.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt starts in the Garden, obviously\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the sense of covering: \u201cDon\u2019t see me. I don\u2019t want to be fully known by you.\u201d\u00a0 You find that moving throughout Scripture. We find it in Jeremiah when he talks about how there are two possibilities\u2014you either trust in what God has said, or you put your trust in other people and the approval and the protection that they can give you\u2014that\u2019s the story of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus, Himself\u2014I was reading this the other day. Jesus, Himself\u2014in the Book of Mark \/ Mark 12\u2014He was notable from the rest of humanity because they came to Him and said: \u201cYou are a man of integrity. You\u2019re not swayed by the opinions of men. You are not trying to win the crowds over by saying all these nice, flowery things,\u201d\u2014they\u2019re going to capture them. So, there is Jesus, standing out as being unique \/ He\u2019s being distinct from the rest of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, Scripture moves to the story of Peter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014which is<em> the<\/em> most disastrous story in all of Scripture, it seems to me\u2014but it\u2019s all run on: \u201cWhat will other people think about me?\u00a0 What will this servant girl, around this charcoal fire, think about me if I show that I am somehow in league with this person who is being crucified?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat doesn\u2019t answer your question, Dennis; but, at least, to parents, it says: \u201cThis goes throughout Scripture. So, we put this in play with our family. That\u2019s the first thing that we do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What you are saying is: \u201cWe need to put us, as human beings, in proper perspective.\u201d I think to do that you have to begin with God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things we did with our teenagers \/ preteens is\u2014we would begin to teach them about the presence of God\u2014who God is; how we are accountable to Him; how we need to live our lives, with Him watching and with us aware of His presence, and seeking to be obedient, in the power of the Holy Spirit, and not playing to the peers \/ to the culture that they are in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we would role play a scene that we figured they were going to face sometime. You know, you are out with a group of 15- to 18-year-olds. Someone shoves a can of beer or a drink in front of you and says: \u201cCome on! Let\u2019s celebrate this particular victory \/ or this evening \/ or whatever.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, what are you going to do?\u00a0 How are you going to handle it?\u201d\u00a0 Maybe the driver is drinking. At that point, the power to conform\u2014the power to want to be with the group\u2014is incredibly magnetic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you have to make up your decision in advance: \u201cWho are you living for\u2014for the crowd or for the King?\u201d I don\u2019t know, honestly, Ed, how successful we were because we don\u2019t know all the choices\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>But you put the question before them\u2014which, in and of itself is, I think, so important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We did. We really based it upon the biblical character, Daniel, who made up his mind, in advance, what he was going to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the key with our kids today\u2014perhaps, more than ever because this culture is really trying to seduce our kids\u2014we have got to help them understand who God is. As a result of knowing who He is \/ who we are\u2014put that in proper perspective\u2014and then, begin to train them in good decision-making so that they don\u2019t conform. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, wait; wait. It sounds like you read Ed\u2019s book: \u201cWho God is,\u201d \u201cWho are you?\u201d and then, \u201cWho are the other people?\u201d\u2014those are really the three questions that are central to your book; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>The subtitle of the book is <em>Answers to the Big Questions of Life<\/em>. And the big problem\u2014one of the big problems of life is: \u201cWhat do you think about me? Why do I care so much about it?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that leads us, Dennis, I think, to exactly what you are saying. It leads us to these more primary questions, which are essential for us to be able to answer ourselves and to lead our children in answering them: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWho is our God?\u201d \u201cWho are we?\u201d and \u201cWho are other people?\u201d\u00a0 Those are the questions that really undergird this particular discussion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Our listeners have heard me use this quote\u2014I\u2019m finding myself using it with an increased frequency, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Bob probably knows exactly the quote I\u2019m going to say, at this point. A. W. Tozer said this: \u201cThe most important thing about you is what you think about God.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, why is that?\u2014because the only way you\u2019re going to have a proper perspective of who you are and who others are is if you, first of all, know who He is\u2014who God is\u2014and who you aren\u2019t. You are not the Creator!\u00a0 You are not in charge!\u2014but there is One, who we are called to obey, who is in charge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s really where you start in your book. You talk about: \u201cWho is God? He is holy. He is the Creator. He is the Redeemer. He\u2019s the God who is present,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s back to the fear of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is really where we have to start with our kids; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Absolutely. What we have so far is: \u201cHere is the problem. It\u2019s a problem that all of us experience. Of course, we care about the opinions of other people, but we care way <em>too much<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the challenge\u2014it goes back to these questions: \u201cWho is God? Who am I? Who are other people?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, what you are identifying, I think, is very important for us, as a family, to simply ask the question, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about who God is.\u201d One of the great prayers of Ephesians, obviously, is that we would know more deeply of His power \/ of His love\u2014to simply talk, as a family: \u201cLet\u2019s just talk about God because sometimes, for some reason, we don\u2019t like Him. We turn away from Him. We don\u2019t want to follow Him. What a curious thing. Let\u2019s think about who He really is.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat discussion is going right at the very heart of peer pressure and being too concerned about the opinions of other people because you\u2019re making a new center to your life. It\u2019s no longer the opinions of others\u2014it\u2019s God, Himself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When Dennis mentioned Daniel, I saw you just wrote Daniel\u2019s name down\u2014that trigger something for you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Well, we mentioned how Jesus stands out from the crowd as someone who was not swayed by wanting to win over the affection of the crowd. Daniel was clearly one who was not swayed by the crowd. That is such a distinction in Daniel\u2014which goes to show that this issue is such an important issue for growing in wisdom: \u201cHow can we be wise people, who are simply ruled by who God is, rather than what we want other people to see us as?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that\u2019s why Daniel was not swayed by the crowd because his relationship with God \/ his understanding of who God was gave him the confidence \/ gave him the courage to be able to say, \u201cNo, we can\u2019t do what you are telling us we must do,\u201d to the king \/ to the crowd. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cWe\u2019ve got to be people who, ultimately, fear God more than we fear man\u201d; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>It just was so simple for him. And where did he get that knowledge of God?\u2014where it was so simple\u2014where: \u201cHold it!\u00a0 This is the God of the universe who has spoken. He is the one I worship. And here is this other king\u2014who is the king of the most significant empire on earth\u2014worshiping the king or worshiping the true God?\u00a0 I mean, there\u2019s no debate on this!\u201d\u00a0 It was very simple in this wise man\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd perhaps, that\u2019s one way to organize what we are talking about\u2014that we want to grow in wisdom. It just so happens that one of the hallmarks of wisdom is that we are not dominated by the approval \/ by the wanting affection of other people\u2014but it\u2019s Christ, Himself, and His words to us that, ultimately, are controlling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You use an illustration that I\u2019m reminded of as I take a sip of my coffee here\u2014excuse me [Sips coffee]\u2014stout coffee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s delicious; alright?\u00a0 But you say this cup is an illustration of what takes place in our lives\u2014that we are constantly looking to people to do what with this cup?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Now, you are getting to the question, \u201cWho am I?\u201d\u00a0 We can have all kinds of different answers to that particular question, but one that I\u2019ve seen personally is\u2014sometimes, I can be waddling around like this big old cup\u2014and I\u2019m going around\u2014going to my wife \/ going to my colleagues: \u201cCould you fill me up?\u201d \u201cCould you say something a little bit nice about me?\u201d \u201cHoney, could you tell me you love me?\u201d \u201cCould you give me some kind of affirmation?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat all makes sense to us, but here\u2019s the nature of that. When we <em>live<\/em> for the approval, or the love, or the affection, or the good opinions of other people, it\u2019s insatiable. No matter how much we get, it\u2019s never enough for the next five minutes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s the bottomless cup\u2014is that what you are saying?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>It\u2019s the bottomless cup\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or it\u2019s this cup that has this nefarious leak, that every time something gets put in it, it all leaks out\u2014you feel like you need a double amount the next day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There seem to be some people who need more in their cup than others. I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s because of the home they grew up in \/ maybe their own view of themselves\u2014but they just feel needy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what you are saying to that individual person is\u2014back to how they get their cup filled\u2014is: \u201cDon\u2019t look, horizontally, at people. Instead, look, vertically, at God. Get into the Bible\u2014into the Book\u2014and start finding out who He is, how He loves you, what His plan is for your life, what He\u2019s called you to do in terms of reaching out to others \/ having compassion on others\u2014but live life according to how He designed it and explained it in the Bible.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Absolutely. You are also, then, going to this second question, \u201cWho am I?\u201d\u00a0 That question has everything to do with: \u201cWhat do I really <em>need<\/em> in life?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat gets to our very identity: \u201cDo we <em>need <\/em>the approval of other people?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I certainly feel like I do; but then, we go to somebody like Daniel\u2014we go to, obviously, the person of Jesus\u2014and, all of a sudden, we realize we have more work to do with that question, \u201cWhat is it that we really need?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, there is a Scripture that you quote in your book that I think is incredibly instructive\u2014it is Matthew 10:28. This is a great verse for parents to pass on to their preteens and teens so that they begin to realize, \u201cWho is it that they need to fear?\u201d\u00a0 This is Jesus speaking here\u2014so, listen up!\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid of those who kill the body but can\u2019t kill the soul. Rather be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in Hell,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s Almighty God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Jesus is really equipping us to do here is: \u201cWho are we living for?\u201d\u2014it\u2019s back to your illustration. You are either going to trust people, or you are going to trust God. You are either going to live for the crowd, or you\u2019re going to live to please Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I would just remind moms and dads, \u201cYou cannot impart what you don\u2019t possess.\u201d\u00a0 If you don\u2019t live this way, it\u2019s going to be hard for you to call your teenagers to turn away from the crowd if they see you living for the approval of people\u2014how you dress, what kind of car you drive, what kind of neighborhood, what kind of stuff you have, the latest places you are going, and all the other ways we can compare ourselves with other people. Our message to our teenagers is probably going to be muted\u2014not just a little. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we really need, I think, to get a book like yours, Ed, and begin with the parents to read it so they can\u2014maybe, give the book, then, to their son or daughter, who is in the teenage years\u2014and begin to interact with them about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, as they live life, talk about when you fail and when you were living your life for the applause of other people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You wrote this book with the idea that a high school or college student could pick it up and read it\u2014go through it even in a group setting; right?\u00a0 I mean, you had that target audience in mind. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>To be able to do it in a community\u2014in community with parents or even with peers\u2014that would be ideal, certainly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve got copies of the book\u2014<em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u2014 in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. In fact, I gave a copy to the guy who heads up the student ministries at our church. They are going to be using it, this fall, with our high school students. I really do think this is helpful for young people\u2014I think it\u2019s helpful for young adults. I think it\u2019s helpful for every one of us to recalibrate our lives and to be following the example of Jesus\u2014loving others and not addicted to approval or applause of other people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the title of the book is: <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click at the top of the page, where you see the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we have just a few days left in the month of October. This whole month is Pastor Appreciation month. We\u2019ve been acknowledging some churches that we are aware of where those churches are using FamilyLife resources as a part of their ministry. I just heard about Ambassador Church in Brea, California, where Ray Chang is the pastor. They had an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> event. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, a supporter of FamilyLife, Agnes Chu, and Mike Huang, hosted that event at the church. We just want to give them a shout-out and say, \u201cThanks for hosting <em>The Art of<\/em> <em>Marriage<\/em>, and thanks for your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> as well.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We are donor-dependent, as Agnes realizes. That\u2019s one of the reasons why she helps to support the ministry with a donation. We want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to all of you who are financial supporters of all that is going on, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, one of the ways we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d this month is by sending you a resource that Barbara Rainey has developed for her Every Thine Home<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> collection. It\u2019s a chalkboard that you can hang in your kitchen or in your family room. It says, \u201cIn this home we give thanks for.\u201d\u00a0 Then, there is a place for you to write, in chalk, whatever it is you want to write on any given day. It\u2019s a great way to cultivate gratitude in the heart of, not only your children, but a little gratitude in your heart wouldn\u2019t hurt either; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe chalkboard is our thank-you gift when you make a donation today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link at the top right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make an online donation. Or request the chalkboard when you call and donate over the phone\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is the number. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can request the chalkboard when you mail a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back again tomorrow. We\u2019re going to continue to explore this issue of being addicted to the need for approval and affirmation: \u201cWhy do we care so much what other people think about us?\u2014including our spouse or our kids. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow with Ed Welch. Hope you can be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.77M"],"filesize_raw":["23880827"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303247.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303247.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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counselor Ed Welch explains that our desire for love isn't evil, but that in some instances we want it too much; so much so, in fact, that we can be controlled by what others think.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you addicted to affirmation?\u00a0 Ed Welch says a lot of us are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Here is what all people wrestle with\u2014here is something I wrestle with: \u201cWhat do people think about me?\u201d and, \u201cWhy do I care so much about that?\u201d\u00a0 The Scripture gives illustration after illustration that says how there are two possibilities. You either trust in God, or you trust in other people. You trust in what God has said, or you put your trust in other people and the approval and the protection that they can give you. That\u2019s the story of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, October 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Just how much do you care about what other people think of you, and should you care at all?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to explore that subject today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for joining us. I have kind of an interesting question for you. If you were sitting down with somebody who was applying for a job, here at FamilyLife, and this person said to you: \u201cI think one of the things that might qualify me for this job\u2014one of the things that makes me hirable is that I am immune to peer pressure. I don\u2019t bend to peer pressure. I do what I think is the right thing to do, regardless of what the crowd thinks is the right thing to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I would immediately do a drug test. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s a good answer!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s like, \u201cYes; okay.\u201d [Laughter] Last night, I was interviewing a young lady with Barbara, my wife\u2014a young lady, I think, who will go to work with us, here at FamilyLife. That\u2019s where I thought you were going with that. She didn\u2019t have any statements like that, but we are all too desperately human. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a friend with us, back on the broadcast\u2014Dr. Ed Welch, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis. It\u2019s good to be with you guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ed is a licensed psychologist. He is a faculty member at the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. He and his wife Sheri have two married daughters and seven grandchildren; and he has written a number of books. His latest one is <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em> You say, early in the book, you have written this book with 15-25 year olds in mind. Why did you do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>I would have liked somebody to speak to me about these things when I was 15 and 16, and 25 and 30, for that matter. These are issues that we all wrestle with\u2014and to be able to think about them, biblically, earlier on, is a great gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There is a destructive side to these questions you ask, in the title of the book: \u201cWhat do you think of me?\u201d and\u201cWhy do I care?\u201d Some people\u2019s lives are controlled by those two questions; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>This morning, I read some material by a famous artist. His goal in life was to find some kind of approval\u2014some kind of fame. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI read an article on political action groups and the big donors to these political action groups\u2014they interviewed one of them. They said: \u201cThis is great!\u00a0 I finally have the fame\u2014instead of being in the background, I am <em>finally<\/em> known and seen by other people.\u201d\u00a0 You can see this desperate desire to somehow win the approval of others\u2014and we are talking about people in 50s and 60s, at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the nature of life. It\u2019s this high school reunion\u2014that\u2019s the experience of life\u2014where you are trying to put your resume forward to these people you haven\u2019t seen for a year, five years, and ten years\u2014and you want to look a little bit better than the person next to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I just have to take a step back and ask more of a fundamental question\u2014just about us, as human beings: \u201cWhat is at the root of this desire to be liked?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Certainly, the desire to be part of a group is a natural desire. That is part of the way we were created\u2014so, to fit in, to not be rejected and cast out, to desire love from other people\u2014that is just a plain, good thing. The question, Dennis\u2014that you are getting at\u2014is the question that we have to be asking ourselves in the Christian life. Some of our problems are not necessarily we want something that\u2019s so evil, but it\u2019s that we want something <em>so much<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s when things get difficult. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have got to be relationally-aware to function well as people. The question is: \u201cAre we controlled by what other people are thinking or feeling?\u201d or \u201cAre we aware, and alert, and responsive to that?\u201d\u00a0 There really is a difference between being controlled and being responsive; isn\u2019t there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Absolutely. You\u2019re going to\u2014as you are talking, I\u2019m thinking of two situations in my own life. One is\u2014I have children and grandchildren. I\u2019m looking forward to talking about these things with them a little bit more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the other is\u2014I am married. This is a perpetual issue for people, who are married\u2014that time when I don\u2019t feel approved or loved\u2014when my wife is thinking about me a little bit <em>less<\/em> than I would like her to think\u2014that is the real crucible of marriage: \u201cWill I be able to love her, at that point; or will I lash out in anger or turn away in my own grief?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I want to be thinking about marriage; and I also want to be thinking, \u201cWhat are questions I can be asking my kids and my grandkids?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and as you think about your kids and grandkids, it is the adolescent years when this seems to come out the most. I mean, that\u2019s when we\u2014as human beings, it appears\u2014suffer from immaturity and emotional instability that makes us most vulnerable to peer pressure \/ to what other people think of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s called peer pressure during the adolescent years. For some reason, when we are older, we don\u2019t talk about it as peer pressure quite as much; but we struggle with it just the same. For some reason, we are able to talk about it with teenagers as if they corner the market on it, but they haven\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt certainly exists in my five-year-old granddaughter\u2014when she\u2019s afraid to go to school because she has an outfit that she isn\u2019t quite sure what people are going to think of when she goes to school\u2014and she cries hysterically before she goes to school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have two distinct memories from my adolescence, related to the subject of this book. One is being in the eighth grade and watching other guys and girls start to pair off\u2014where somebody had a boyfriend \/ somebody had a girlfriend\u2014and starting to feel, \u201cI need a girlfriend,\u201d\u2014didn\u2019t matter to me who she was\u2014I just needed a girlfriend. I was being driven by what was the cultural surrounding I was in and felt a need for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also remember being at a party one night. This was a high school party\u2014a bunch of us together. I remember that there was this guy, who was a friend of mine\u2014who was kind of quiet, kind of shy, a little reserved\u2014and the girls thought he was just the cutest. I mean, part of his shyness and reserved\u2014was a mystery that drew them to him. So, I thought, \u201cWell, I need to start acting shy and reserved,\u201d which was completely not my personality!\u00a0 Neither of those situations worked out well for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Here is the part of this discussion I find <em>so<\/em>, <em>so<\/em> encouraging\u2014that we can multiply these stories forever. You can go back to yesterday\u2014or you can go back to high school or you can go back to when you were four years old\u2014and you can multiply the stories. What is encouraging to us is that so many people have taken their best shot at this particular human dilemma, and they are not eroding the thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have this living Word of God\u2014that both <em>identifies<\/em> it and gives us a way <em>through<\/em> it. It\u2019s just another aspect of the sheer brilliance of God\u2019s Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, let\u2019s talk about that for a moment. If you are coaching a mom and dad, who are raising a teenager\u2014maybe a young adult today\u2014and they want to really equip their son or daughter to have a proper view of themselves\u2014where do they start?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Well, one place to start, real specifically, would be to ask these questions: \u201cSon\/Daughter, here is what all people wrestle with \/ here is something I wrestle with: \u2018What do people think about me?\u2019 and \u2018Why do I care so much about that?\u2019\u201d\u2014for us to be able to identify it in our lives and have the freedom to identify it because the Scripture gives illustration after illustration that says, \u201cWelcome to humanity.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt starts in the Garden, obviously\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the sense of covering: \u201cDon\u2019t see me. I don\u2019t want to be fully known by you.\u201d\u00a0 You find that moving throughout Scripture. We find it in Jeremiah when he talks about how there are two possibilities\u2014you either trust in what God has said, or you put your trust in other people and the approval and the protection that they can give you\u2014that\u2019s the story of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus, Himself\u2014I was reading this the other day. Jesus, Himself\u2014in the Book of Mark \/ Mark 12\u2014He was notable from the rest of humanity because they came to Him and said: \u201cYou are a man of integrity. You\u2019re not swayed by the opinions of men. You are not trying to win the crowds over by saying all these nice, flowery things,\u201d\u2014they\u2019re going to capture them. So, there is Jesus, standing out as being unique \/ He\u2019s being distinct from the rest of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, Scripture moves to the story of Peter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014which is<em> the<\/em> most disastrous story in all of Scripture, it seems to me\u2014but it\u2019s all run on: \u201cWhat will other people think about me?\u00a0 What will this servant girl, around this charcoal fire, think about me if I show that I am somehow in league with this person who is being crucified?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat doesn\u2019t answer your question, Dennis; but, at least, to parents, it says: \u201cThis goes throughout Scripture. So, we put this in play with our family. That\u2019s the first thing that we do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What you are saying is: \u201cWe need to put us, as human beings, in proper perspective.\u201d I think to do that you have to begin with God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things we did with our teenagers \/ preteens is\u2014we would begin to teach them about the presence of God\u2014who God is; how we are accountable to Him; how we need to live our lives, with Him watching and with us aware of His presence, and seeking to be obedient, in the power of the Holy Spirit, and not playing to the peers \/ to the culture that they are in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we would role play a scene that we figured they were going to face sometime. You know, you are out with a group of 15- to 18-year-olds. Someone shoves a can of beer or a drink in front of you and says: \u201cCome on! Let\u2019s celebrate this particular victory \/ or this evening \/ or whatever.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, what are you going to do?\u00a0 How are you going to handle it?\u201d\u00a0 Maybe the driver is drinking. At that point, the power to conform\u2014the power to want to be with the group\u2014is incredibly magnetic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you have to make up your decision in advance: \u201cWho are you living for\u2014for the crowd or for the King?\u201d I don\u2019t know, honestly, Ed, how successful we were because we don\u2019t know all the choices\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>But you put the question before them\u2014which, in and of itself is, I think, so important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We did. We really based it upon the biblical character, Daniel, who made up his mind, in advance, what he was going to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the key with our kids today\u2014perhaps, more than ever because this culture is really trying to seduce our kids\u2014we have got to help them understand who God is. As a result of knowing who He is \/ who we are\u2014put that in proper perspective\u2014and then, begin to train them in good decision-making so that they don\u2019t conform. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, wait; wait. It sounds like you read Ed\u2019s book: \u201cWho God is,\u201d \u201cWho are you?\u201d and then, \u201cWho are the other people?\u201d\u2014those are really the three questions that are central to your book; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>The subtitle of the book is <em>Answers to the Big Questions of Life<\/em>. And the big problem\u2014one of the big problems of life is: \u201cWhat do you think about me? Why do I care so much about it?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that leads us, Dennis, I think, to exactly what you are saying. It leads us to these more primary questions, which are essential for us to be able to answer ourselves and to lead our children in answering them: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWho is our God?\u201d \u201cWho are we?\u201d and \u201cWho are other people?\u201d\u00a0 Those are the questions that really undergird this particular discussion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Our listeners have heard me use this quote\u2014I\u2019m finding myself using it with an increased frequency, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Bob probably knows exactly the quote I\u2019m going to say, at this point. A. W. Tozer said this: \u201cThe most important thing about you is what you think about God.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, why is that?\u2014because the only way you\u2019re going to have a proper perspective of who you are and who others are is if you, first of all, know who He is\u2014who God is\u2014and who you aren\u2019t. You are not the Creator!\u00a0 You are not in charge!\u2014but there is One, who we are called to obey, who is in charge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s really where you start in your book. You talk about: \u201cWho is God? He is holy. He is the Creator. He is the Redeemer. He\u2019s the God who is present,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s back to the fear of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is really where we have to start with our kids; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Absolutely. What we have so far is: \u201cHere is the problem. It\u2019s a problem that all of us experience. Of course, we care about the opinions of other people, but we care way <em>too much<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the challenge\u2014it goes back to these questions: \u201cWho is God? Who am I? Who are other people?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, what you are identifying, I think, is very important for us, as a family, to simply ask the question, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about who God is.\u201d One of the great prayers of Ephesians, obviously, is that we would know more deeply of His power \/ of His love\u2014to simply talk, as a family: \u201cLet\u2019s just talk about God because sometimes, for some reason, we don\u2019t like Him. We turn away from Him. We don\u2019t want to follow Him. What a curious thing. Let\u2019s think about who He really is.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat discussion is going right at the very heart of peer pressure and being too concerned about the opinions of other people because you\u2019re making a new center to your life. It\u2019s no longer the opinions of others\u2014it\u2019s God, Himself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When Dennis mentioned Daniel, I saw you just wrote Daniel\u2019s name down\u2014that trigger something for you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Well, we mentioned how Jesus stands out from the crowd as someone who was not swayed by wanting to win over the affection of the crowd. Daniel was clearly one who was not swayed by the crowd. That is such a distinction in Daniel\u2014which goes to show that this issue is such an important issue for growing in wisdom: \u201cHow can we be wise people, who are simply ruled by who God is, rather than what we want other people to see us as?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that\u2019s why Daniel was not swayed by the crowd because his relationship with God \/ his understanding of who God was gave him the confidence \/ gave him the courage to be able to say, \u201cNo, we can\u2019t do what you are telling us we must do,\u201d to the king \/ to the crowd. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cWe\u2019ve got to be people who, ultimately, fear God more than we fear man\u201d; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>It just was so simple for him. And where did he get that knowledge of God?\u2014where it was so simple\u2014where: \u201cHold it!\u00a0 This is the God of the universe who has spoken. He is the one I worship. And here is this other king\u2014who is the king of the most significant empire on earth\u2014worshiping the king or worshiping the true God?\u00a0 I mean, there\u2019s no debate on this!\u201d\u00a0 It was very simple in this wise man\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd perhaps, that\u2019s one way to organize what we are talking about\u2014that we want to grow in wisdom. It just so happens that one of the hallmarks of wisdom is that we are not dominated by the approval \/ by the wanting affection of other people\u2014but it\u2019s Christ, Himself, and His words to us that, ultimately, are controlling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You use an illustration that I\u2019m reminded of as I take a sip of my coffee here\u2014excuse me [Sips coffee]\u2014stout coffee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s delicious; alright?\u00a0 But you say this cup is an illustration of what takes place in our lives\u2014that we are constantly looking to people to do what with this cup?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Now, you are getting to the question, \u201cWho am I?\u201d\u00a0 We can have all kinds of different answers to that particular question, but one that I\u2019ve seen personally is\u2014sometimes, I can be waddling around like this big old cup\u2014and I\u2019m going around\u2014going to my wife \/ going to my colleagues: \u201cCould you fill me up?\u201d \u201cCould you say something a little bit nice about me?\u201d \u201cHoney, could you tell me you love me?\u201d \u201cCould you give me some kind of affirmation?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat all makes sense to us, but here\u2019s the nature of that. When we <em>live<\/em> for the approval, or the love, or the affection, or the good opinions of other people, it\u2019s insatiable. No matter how much we get, it\u2019s never enough for the next five minutes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s the bottomless cup\u2014is that what you are saying?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>It\u2019s the bottomless cup\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or it\u2019s this cup that has this nefarious leak, that every time something gets put in it, it all leaks out\u2014you feel like you need a double amount the next day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There seem to be some people who need more in their cup than others. I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s because of the home they grew up in \/ maybe their own view of themselves\u2014but they just feel needy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what you are saying to that individual person is\u2014back to how they get their cup filled\u2014is: \u201cDon\u2019t look, horizontally, at people. Instead, look, vertically, at God. Get into the Bible\u2014into the Book\u2014and start finding out who He is, how He loves you, what His plan is for your life, what He\u2019s called you to do in terms of reaching out to others \/ having compassion on others\u2014but live life according to how He designed it and explained it in the Bible.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>Absolutely. You are also, then, going to this second question, \u201cWho am I?\u201d\u00a0 That question has everything to do with: \u201cWhat do I really <em>need<\/em> in life?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat gets to our very identity: \u201cDo we <em>need <\/em>the approval of other people?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I certainly feel like I do; but then, we go to somebody like Daniel\u2014we go to, obviously, the person of Jesus\u2014and, all of a sudden, we realize we have more work to do with that question, \u201cWhat is it that we really need?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, there is a Scripture that you quote in your book that I think is incredibly instructive\u2014it is Matthew 10:28. This is a great verse for parents to pass on to their preteens and teens so that they begin to realize, \u201cWho is it that they need to fear?\u201d\u00a0 This is Jesus speaking here\u2014so, listen up!\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid of those who kill the body but can\u2019t kill the soul. Rather be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in Hell,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s Almighty God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Jesus is really equipping us to do here is: \u201cWho are we living for?\u201d\u2014it\u2019s back to your illustration. You are either going to trust people, or you are going to trust God. You are either going to live for the crowd, or you\u2019re going to live to please Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I would just remind moms and dads, \u201cYou cannot impart what you don\u2019t possess.\u201d\u00a0 If you don\u2019t live this way, it\u2019s going to be hard for you to call your teenagers to turn away from the crowd if they see you living for the approval of people\u2014how you dress, what kind of car you drive, what kind of neighborhood, what kind of stuff you have, the latest places you are going, and all the other ways we can compare ourselves with other people. Our message to our teenagers is probably going to be muted\u2014not just a little. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we really need, I think, to get a book like yours, Ed, and begin with the parents to read it so they can\u2014maybe, give the book, then, to their son or daughter, who is in the teenage years\u2014and begin to interact with them about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, as they live life, talk about when you fail and when you were living your life for the applause of other people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You wrote this book with the idea that a high school or college student could pick it up and read it\u2014go through it even in a group setting; right?\u00a0 I mean, you had that target audience in mind. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ed: <\/strong>To be able to do it in a community\u2014in community with parents or even with peers\u2014that would be ideal, certainly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve got copies of the book\u2014<em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u2014 in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. In fact, I gave a copy to the guy who heads up the student ministries at our church. They are going to be using it, this fall, with our high school students. I really do think this is helpful for young people\u2014I think it\u2019s helpful for young adults. I think it\u2019s helpful for every one of us to recalibrate our lives and to be following the example of Jesus\u2014loving others and not addicted to approval or applause of other people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the title of the book is: <em>What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?<\/em>\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click at the top of the page, where you see the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we have just a few days left in the month of October. This whole month is Pastor Appreciation month. We\u2019ve been acknowledging some churches that we are aware of where those churches are using FamilyLife resources as a part of their ministry. I just heard about Ambassador Church in Brea, California, where Ray Chang is the pastor. They had an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> event. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, a supporter of FamilyLife, Agnes Chu, and Mike Huang, hosted that event at the church. We just want to give them a shout-out and say, \u201cThanks for hosting <em>The Art of<\/em> <em>Marriage<\/em>, and thanks for your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> as well.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We are donor-dependent, as Agnes realizes. That\u2019s one of the reasons why she helps to support the ministry with a donation. We want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to all of you who are financial supporters of all that is going on, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, one of the ways we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d this month is by sending you a resource that Barbara Rainey has developed for her Every Thine Home<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> collection. It\u2019s a chalkboard that you can hang in your kitchen or in your family room. It says, \u201cIn this home we give thanks for.\u201d\u00a0 Then, there is a place for you to write, in chalk, whatever it is you want to write on any given day. It\u2019s a great way to cultivate gratitude in the heart of, not only your children, but a little gratitude in your heart wouldn\u2019t hurt either; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe chalkboard is our thank-you gift when you make a donation today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link at the top right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make an online donation. Or request the chalkboard when you call and donate over the phone\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is the number. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can request the chalkboard when you mail a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back again tomorrow. We\u2019re going to continue to explore this issue of being addicted to the need for approval and affirmation: \u201cWhy do we care so much what other people think about us?\u2014including our spouse or our kids. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow with Ed Welch. Hope you can be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303247","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303247"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303247"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303247"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303247"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303247"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303247"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303247"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}