{"id":303227,"date":"2014-10-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-10-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/pressing-into-christ\/"},"modified":"2014-10-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-10-13T15:00:00","slug":"pressing-into-christ","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/pressing-into-christ\/","title":{"rendered":"Pressing Into Christ"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What&#8217;s the best way to learn about love? When we&#8217;re loving and aren&#8217;t loved back as we would like, it&#8217;s then that we learn how to press into the pain and suffering and love like Christ. Until your relationship costs you something, you haven&#8217;t gotten to love yet, says Paul. Love is, after all, self-sacrifice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Paul Miller opens up the Book of Ruth to illustrate the meaning of hesed love, a steadfast kind of love and commitment that knows no exit strategy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-13.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.52M","filesize_raw":"25708901","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2822],"tags":[5167,5468,5467,5463,5464,5465,5466],"podcast_series":[8041],"cwp_profile":[3340],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303227","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-autism","tag-autistic-daughter","tag-crucible","tag-hesed-love","tag-hessed","tag-lovingkindness","tag-steadfast-love","podcast_series-a-loving-life","cwp_profile-paul-miller","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303227\/pressing-into-christ","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303227\/pressing-into-christ","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"AtGR6LXybE\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/pressing-into-christ\/\">Pressing Into Christ<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/pressing-into-christ\/embed\/#?secret=AtGR6LXybE\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Pressing Into Christ&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"AtGR6LXybE\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Paul Miller opens up the Book of Ruth to illustrate the meaning of hesed love, a steadfast kind of love and commitment that knows no exit strategy.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0Husbands are commanded in Scripture to love their wives; but author, Paul Miller, says we can\u2019t love our wives well unless we love God first and foremost.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0The great temptation for guys to love your wife is to go to the opposite extreme\u2014where you will make the marriage the center as opposed to God and truth. Guys, in particular, will fear speaking honestly to their wives\u2014thoughtfully, and lovingly, and even tenderly\u2014but, honestly, guys will shy away from that because they are fearful of getting an earful in return.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, October 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. There\u2019s a lot more to love than just sentiment. We\u2019re going to dig into the gritty part of love today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Last year, at our church, we took about ten weeks to go through, I guess it was four verses\u2014I Corinthians 13:4, 5, 6, and 7\u2014those four verses.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s some rich ore.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We got into the first part of verse 8 too; but I remember thinking, \u201cI have a lot to learn on the subject of love<em>.\u201d<\/em> Whatever you think you know, there\u2019s still more to learn on this subject; don\u2019t you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0There is. We were made to love. We were made to be loved and to love. In fact, as I prepared for today\u2019s broadcast, I thought about 1 John, Chapter 4, verse 7. Listen carefully to what he exhorts us to do\u2014he says: \u201cBeloved, let us love one another, for love is from God and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we\u2019re born, as human beings, with this innate capacity to be loved and also to love; but we have to be tutored, mentored, and empowered by the Holy Spirit\u2014and get to know who God is so we can begin to emulate that love in all of our relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a friend back with us, in the studio, who is\u2014should be no stranger to our listening audience. Paul Miller joins us again. Paul, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0It\u2019s great to be here, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0He is the Executive Director of seeJesus<sup>\u2122<\/sup>. He and his wife Jill live in Philadelphia, along with their six children. I notice how you write here\u2014you say \u201c\u2026along with a growing number of grandchildren.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0How many do you have?\u2014because we have six children too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0We have nine point three grandchildren.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Nine point three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Okay\u2014a good start!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0There\u2019s one about to be born\u2014is that the idea?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Point three\u2014I think about three or four months along. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s cool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Well, he\u2019s written a new book called <em>A Loving Life<\/em>. It\u2019s actually\u2014this book actually comes out of one of those grandchildren.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s right. When our son, John, and his wife Pam\u2014at eight months pregnant\u2014she lost a grandbaby, Ben--just the hardest thing that my son ever went through. I wanted to give him a gift\u2014so I gave him the gift of a Bible study, which is kind of an odd gift. But we were vacationing together that summer, and every morning we would go through the book of Ruth\u2014kind of cry our way through it\u2014but it was a wonderful time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0The book of Ruth is an interesting book because, as I recall, the word \u201clove\u201d isn\u2019t mentioned in that book anywhere; is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019m not sure the word \u201clove\u201d is in the book of Ruth, but the Hebrew word for love is all over the book\u2014and it\u2019s the word <em>hesed<\/em>. It is the Old Testament version of <em>agape<\/em>; but in the English translations, it never comes out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0When I read in my Old Testament, <em>hesed <\/em>is often translated \u201clovingkindness\u201d or \u201csteadfast love.\u201d There are different ways I\u2019ve seen that translated through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s right. The word, <em>hesed<\/em>\u2014there\u2019s no real English translation for the word because it combines two English ideas\u2014the idea of love and commitment. In <em>hesed <\/em>love, you bind yourself to the object of your love, as a setting of the will to love. In fact, that\u2019s what Ruth does in the book\u2014she binds herself to the object of her love\u2014so I like to call it: \u201cLove without an exit strategy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a remarkable kind of love because, in other words: \u201cI love you, not based on how you respond to me.\u201d So, if we\u2019ve had an argument\u2014let\u2019s say a couple, or a couple of friends, or whatever\u2014our tendency is to pull back\u2014emotionally pull away from the other person if someone\u2019s hurt you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn <em>hesed<\/em> love\u2014because you have <em>bound<\/em> yourself\u2014you don\u2019t emotionally retreat from that person because you\u2019ve committed yourself to love them no matter what.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Explain why, then, you created a Bible study from the book of Ruth for your son who lost his son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Because in love\u2014what John was going through was what I would call the crucible. It\u2019s kind of the fire of suffering. It is in the crucible that we learn how to love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0John is your son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes, right. So love has a thousand feelings. It\u2019s not wrong, at all, to say love is a feeling. It is a feeling\u2014but it is many feelings. So, think of marriage. You begin with these wonderful feelings\u2014and then you discover what the person is like, or they discover what you\u2019re like, or whatever\u2014and now you\u2019re entering the crucible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s when people say: \u201cOh, I never should have gotten married in the first place,\u201d or \u201cFrom the very beginning, the marriage was wrong.\u201d As soon as people begin to say that, they\u2019re beginning to learn how to love\u2014or, at least, that\u2019s the opportunity\u2014because you\u2019re entering kind of this pattern of dying that is so throughout the New Testament.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0It sounds, to me, like you\u2019re entering a journey\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0\u2014that demands commitment\u2014a commitment to love regardless of where the feelings are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0This is where I just think you\u2019re going to have to explain this a little bit more because the person who is, in that moment, feeling like \u201cI just want out,\u201d and you\u2019re saying, \u201cWell this is where you get to learn what love is,\u201d\u2014they\u2019re saying: \u201cI just want out! I don\u2019t want to learn what love is. I want out!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Right. Let me give you a couple of examples of that. One example\u2014and this is not a marriage example. It\u2019s just sort of a normal thing. We go, every year, as a family, to a Joni camp. Joni Eareckson Tada has these camps for families who have disabilities. People raise money, as short-term missionaries, to go there and help us during that week of camp. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese people give up a week of their time\u2014plus, they might pay $600 for the expenses of that camp.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0You go as a camper\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0\u2014because, in your family, you have a daughter with a disability.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Right. I should explain that. Our first child, Kim, is disabled with autism, and development delay, and fine motor stuff\u2014a bunch of things\u2014but she is a delight. At this camp, this woman\u2014I\u2019ll call her Sue\u2014on the second day of camp, a parent said that this woman, Sue, had said something openly negatively about her parenting. So, it\u2019s another camper, like us, who criticizes Sue and goes to the directors about it. It becomes a drama thing\u2014this isn\u2019t a huge catastrophe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI pulled Sue aside on Wednesday, and she was just distraught. I said: \u201cSue, now you\u2019re beginning to love because, before this, you were in a kind of a transaction. You were giving your time and money and you were getting encouragement and just the joy of knowing you\u2019re helping. Now, you are loving; and you\u2019re getting nothing\u2014now you\u2019re entering <em>into<\/em> God\u2019s love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhen you love\u2014when you\u2019re getting nothing in return\u2014your ego is stripped \/ your will is stripped because everything in you is crying out, \u2018This doesn\u2019t make any sense,\u2019 and now you have to do it for Jesus.\u201d Paul calls this \u201cthe fellowship of sharing in His sufferings.\u201d What we do is\u2014when we encounter those things, we recoil from them, as opposed to realizing that this is the path of Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGoing back to the book of Ruth\u2014Ruth goes through this path, in binding herself with <em>hesed<\/em> love to Naomi\u2014because that\u2019s what she does\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014she binds herself: \u201cI am with you, no matter what, to the end.\u201d She is going into a fellowship of suffering, and Ruth embraces that fellowship of suffering.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0What you write about in the book\u2014and I think this kind of resonates with me\u2014when you find yourself in a situation, where you want to flee\u2014you call people: \u201cDon\u2019t flee the crucible. Don\u2019t run from the suffering. Press into the pain of the relationship, because\u2014as you press into the pain, and learn how to love, and stay committed in that situation\u2014you\u2019re really getting closer to the heart of God than when you\u2019re caught up in all the romantic feelings and being swept over the cliff by romance and how we start our marriage relationship.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Right. And what you\u2019re doing is\u2014you\u2019re really pressing into Christ. I wrote the book for people who are stuck in a loveless marriage, where one spouse is putting more energy into the relationship than the other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe acid that begins to grow\u2014in the spouse that\u2019s more loving\u2014it begins as self-pity, and then it gets nourished and becomes bitterness. Pretty soon, the person, who is doing the most loving in the marriage \/ is doing the most work at it, can often get into a bitterness trap.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0You also throw singles into that group too\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0\u2014young people or older people who want to be married\u2014want to find a way to love with their whole heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0An example of that is one of the effects of the attack on manhood in modern culture. There are a lot of young lovely women, who are single in their mid- to late-20s and early-30s. The prospects of marriage are getting dimmer. So, here you are\u2014stuck <em>without <\/em>a relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s remarkable about the book of Ruth\u2014and, in fact, what\u2019s remarkable about Christianity\u2014Christianity really kind of exalts singleness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we\u2019ve lost the sense of the dignity and the wonder of a single person, who commits himself to a loving life, the way Ruth does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0I hear you saying that, until your relationship with another person starts costing you something, you haven\u2019t gotten to love yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Well, I would say it\u2019s just a different kind of love. You\u2019re really getting into it\u2014because I don\u2019t want to belittle romance because it really is a wonderful thing to fall in love with someone else\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0\u2014but it\u2019s an untested love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0When I\u2019ve done premarital counseling with couples, they are often in the untested romantic phase of a relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Right. Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0If I ask them to define love, they often define it in those kinds of terms. But one of the things I want to make sure we get to, in our premarital counseling, is that love involves commitment and self-sacrifice. Until you get there, you haven\u2019t gotten to the real stuff of love yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Right. It\u2019s probably like teaching combat to a Marine before he\u2019s been under fire. I imagine that, until you actually get into it \/ until you actually feel trapped\u2014one of the related ideas to this is I think people often struggle with love because they\u2019re unaware of the texture of love\u2014like: \u201cWhat does it feel like to love?\u201d One of the characteristics\u2014and we see this in Ruth\u2019s life\u2014is that one of the textures of love is that love narrows your life. People react\/recoil from that restriction: \u201cOh, I can\u2019t do <em>x<\/em> anymore.\u201d That\u2019s right\u2014because to be a lover is to narrow your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Okay, so you and Jill have been married since when?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0\u201972.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s a good year\u2014that\u2019s when Barbara and I started.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Oh good! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0So, I\u2019m going to ask you to do the impossible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019m going to ask you to distill down to the top one\/two\/three things about love that you have learned, as a result of being in the crucible, following this journey of suffering and attempting to love another imperfect person named Jill. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGive us the essence of: \u201cWhat have you learned about love?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Oh, probably the biggest thing that I have learned is to look at Jill\u2014I mean, to physically look\u2014but a blind person could do it\u2014I mean, just to simply be <em>aware<\/em> of her, as a person, so that means almost stepping back. There is this pattern in the Gospels that just riveted me\u2014is where Jesus looks and feels compassion\u2014and then He acts. I was good at the acting \/ the doing but not those first two steps of slowing down and just being <em>aware<\/em> of her, as a person. It still amazes me that, when she tells me a problem, that she doesn\u2019t want my top three answers. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Never happened in my marriage! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0She\u2019s not looking for the solution; is she? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0And just that whole way that Jesus has of being present with someone, without advice. That doesn\u2019t mean that there\u2019s not a time to give that\u2014to speak the truth in love\u2014but that was probably one of the biggest things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Let me see if I\u2019ve got it right because I think there is probably a guy, listening right now, who needs this spelled out in big capital letters. From 1 Peter, Chapter 3, verse 7, it says, \u201cHusbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.\u201d What I hear you saying is\u2014when you look at your wife, you look with the eyes of God, attempting to better understand this woman that you\u2019ve made a commitment to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes. Here\u2019s an example of that from the book of Ruth and our marriage. When Jill would have something that she\u2019d be upset\u2014go off on a mini-rant\u2014we had a lot of things to rant about with six kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was learning some of this stuff, they were ages three through like fifteen or sixteen, with a severely disabled child in the middle of that on a very low salary. It\u2019s very much like the book of Ruth. Jill was really doing laments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Old Testament is <em>filled<\/em> with these laments\u2014where you pour out your heart to God\u2014messy \/ even theologically incorrect. With my background, I would correct her laments. Part of learning to <em>look<\/em> at her was to not correct her laments\u2014to let her be herself and to kind of get into her heart\u2014just by looking \/ I mean listening \/ I mean the whole perception \/ I mean slowing down my life and coming at my wife with questions, as opposed to answers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was probably the biggest thing. You see that because Naomi has all these laments. We\u2019ve lost touch with this whole Jewish tradition of opening your heart and sharing it openly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what you see with Naomi. The author of the book of Ruth doesn\u2019t correct Naomi with her laments\u2014he just lets God love her. The whole book is about this <em>hesed <\/em>love\u2014so it\u2019s God\u2019s <em>hesed<\/em>-ing \/ His covenant love of Naomi. He does that by letting Ruth be, as it were, His channel of <em>hesed<\/em> love to her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0So, if a guy is listening right now, the challenge is: \u201cGuys, <em>look <\/em>and <em>listen<\/em> to your wife. As you\u2019re looking and listening, it wouldn\u2019t hurt to be praying\u2014asking God, \u201cHelp me to hear what\u2019s going on here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Is there a second lesson out of 42-plus years of marriage that you\u2019ve learned here, Paul?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0One that seems almost at dissonance with this first one, but that was to not be afraid of my wife\u2014to speak the truth into her life, thoughtfully\/lovingly. The great temptation, as you begin to discover, for guys to love your wife is to go to the opposite extreme\u2014where you will make love or, even, the marriage the center, as opposed to God and truth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ll see guys, in particular, will fear for speaking honestly to their wives, and they will pull back from that honesty. What they\u2019ll do is\u2014they\u2019ll evaluate their honesty based on how it was received. What they\u2019re doing then is they\u2019re putting peace higher than Christ and truth. It balances out this compassion\/listening side, and you see Jesus do both sides.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0What I want you to do is illustrate it, just theoretically, okay\u2014not saying anything like this happened with you and Jill\u2014but give us an illustration of how you might have spoken the truth to her about a subject, or an issue, or an attitude.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0Again, purely theoretical.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Purely theoretical.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0This isn\u2019t very theoretical\u2014this is a few years ago\u2014but we took dance lessons. I don\u2019t have any rhythm, but I can memorize the steps. I had pretty much no rhythm\u2014I can barely tap in time to music. My wife has rhythm but didn\u2019t know what all the steps were. So, we finally decided to go out dancing; and I started getting off beat. The solution in dancing is\u2014the male leads. I started going off beat, and Jill started leading. I got irritated at her, and she walked off the floor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would like to think of it as low-level irritation; but, when you\u2019re in a marriage relationship, everything has an exclamation point. The next day, I said, \u201cJill, tell me what was so upsetting about what I did,\u201d when things were quieter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did that looking thing\u2014of just listening to her. So, we\u2019re not to the honesty yet. She talked to me for about an hour. We went on a walk, and I learned <em>so<\/em> much from that hour\u2014it was her honesty to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the end of that\u2014and I wasn\u2019t waiting for this as a trap\u2014I said, \u201cIt would have been helpful for you, back on that dance floor, if you had just said: \u2018Paul, you\u2019re off beat. Can I lead?\u2019\u201d Do you know what I mean?\u201d\u2014as opposed to\u2026\u201d\u2014that kind of honesty, where you begin with\u2014I like the word \u201cincarnating,\u201d where you really try to go into someone\u2019s world. The honesty then\u2014if you really incarnate with someone\u2014then you can have small pieces of gentle honesty that can really help the other person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0What you did is something that I\u2019ve learned. I don\u2019t always practice it\u2014I\u2019ll be very quick to say that\u2014but the time to address the problem is not in the heat of the moment. It\u2019s not dragging her back out on the dance floor and saying [with stern voice], \u201cWe\u2019re going to talk and work this out.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s allowing the emotion of the moment and, maybe, the weariness of the day to subside; and then coming back at it, the next day, when the lake is fairly calm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0What both of you are illustrating here is that the dance of love is something that we continue to learn, over a lifetime\u2014that it\u2019s not a dance, where you perfect it in the first three months of the relationship, and then you have it down from then on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0You are in an ongoing state of growth, as it relates to how you love another person. I think our listeners are going to be helped, Paul, by\u2014not only tuning in this week as we have this conversation\u2014but also by getting a copy of your book called <em>A Loving Life. <\/em>\u201cHow do you love with no love in return?\u201d and \u201cHow do you love when no one notices or cares?\u201d We have copies of Paul Miller\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the upper left-hand corner, click where it says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d That will take you right to the spot where you can get more information about Paul\u2019s book. You can order it from us, online, if you\u2019d like. Again, the book is called <em>A Loving Life<\/em>. You\u2019ll find it at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to mention, Dennis, a resource that your wife developed called \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201dIt\u2019s a garland that hangs in your home. You attach, to the garland, hearts. Each heart has a different characteristic of love from I Corinthians, Chapter 13. You can pull that heart off the garland, and you can read a devotional that\u2019s on the inside of the heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe talked about this around Valentine\u2019s Day, earlier this year; but honestly, this \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201dgarland is something that can hang in the home anytime and can be used, as a teaching tool, in your home anytime. I\u2019d encourage our listeners\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d There\u2019s information there about Barbara\u2019s resource called \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201d <em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s part of the Ever Thine Home<em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>collection of resources that Barbara has put together. The website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order the book or the garland. Call 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn a very real sense, what we\u2019re all about, here at FamilyLife, is what we\u2019re talking about today\u2014it\u2019s about love. Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God, and the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. We want to focus, here at <em>FamilyLife<\/em>,on how, as we cultivate a relationship with God, we learn to love others\u2014in our marriage, in our family, in our extended family, in all of our relationships. That\u2019s what our focus is, each day, on this program. We want to effectively develop godly families\u2014the kind of families who change the world, one home, at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are very grateful for a growing group of folks who share that vision with us and are making the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. You\u2019re making it possible for us to continue doing what we\u2019re doing and to expand in new directions. We appreciate our Legacy Partners, who are monthly donors to this ministry, and those of you who give on occasion\u2014we\u2019re grateful for your support as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In fact, if you can make a donation today, we\u2019d like to express our appreciation by sending you a resource that Barbara Rainey has developed to hang in your home. This is a chalkboard in the shape of a house. At the top, it says \u201cIn this home we give thanks for\u201d and then you can write, in chalk, whatever you want to write. Each day you can come up with something new to give thanks for and write it on the chalkboard in your kitchen or in your dining area. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can make an online donation when you do that, and you can request the chalkboard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr let us know that you\u2019d like the chalkboard when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Of course, you can write a note and request the chalkboard when you donate to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Our mailing address is PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019re going to continue our conversation about what real love looks like and what we can learn from the relationship between Naomi and Ruth with our guest this week, Paul Miller. Hope you can join us back tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303227"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303227"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303227"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303227"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}