{"id":303219,"date":"2014-10-06T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-10-06T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/finding-freedom-from-hurt-and-hate\/"},"modified":"2014-10-06T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-10-06T15:00:00","slug":"finding-freedom-from-hurt-and-hate","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-freedom-from-hurt-and-hate\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Freedom from Hurt and Hate"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Leslie Leyland Fields recalls the first time she and her six kids traveled to visit her estranged father. Leslie talks about their visit, and her childhood growing up with a mentally ill father.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-06.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.76M","filesize_raw":"24911902","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2825],"tags":[4394,2288,2699,5455],"podcast_series":[8040],"cwp_profile":[3067],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303219","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-honoring-your-parents","tag-abusive-father","tag-adult-children","tag-forgiveness","tag-neglect","podcast_series-forgiving-our-fathers-and-mothers","cwp_profile-leslie-leyland-fields","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303219\/finding-freedom-from-hurt-and-hate","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303219\/finding-freedom-from-hurt-and-hate","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"64TtlnvckH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-freedom-from-hurt-and-hate\/\">Finding Freedom from Hurt and Hate<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-freedom-from-hurt-and-hate\/embed\/#?secret=64TtlnvckH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Finding Freedom from Hurt and Hate&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"64TtlnvckH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-06.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-06.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Leslie Fields grew up with a hole in her heart\u2014a hole she didn\u2019t know she had\u2014not a physical hole. It was actually an ache that came from having a father who, as far as she knew, didn\u2019t love her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t until I became a mother and my husband became a father that I began to see what fathers are for\u2014because I didn\u2019t know\u2014I\u2019d never seen it. I saw how much my husband loved my children\u2014and how he read stories to them and sang to them\u2014all of these <em>wonderful<\/em> things. It really began to open up for me what had been missing all those years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, October 6<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How does a young wife and mom ultimately deal with feelings of hurt and hate toward her father? We\u2019ll explore that today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. When I saw that our favorite salmon fisherman had written the book that she\u2019s written, I thought, Dennis\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now wait a second. I\u2019m a salmon fisherman too. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You did say \u201cour\u201d; didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; \u201cour,\u201d yes\u2014<em>you<\/em> would be my favorite salmon fisherman\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t know any other salmon fishermen\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and Leslie is number two.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014than the two that are sitting here around the table! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Oh, man. I just went from place number one to two! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No. No, you are <em>our<\/em> favorite salmon fisher<em>woman<\/em>. You said \u201cman\u201d\u2014so that\u2019s even bad too. Leslie Leyland Fields joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Oh, it\u2019s great to be back. It\u2019s good to see you guys again. And I brought you some salmon, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>It\u2019s in the satchel over there. That\u2019s why it weighs about 50 pounds. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I will take it\u2014I\u2019ve enjoyed it in the past. Can listeners\u2014can they go online and buy your salmon?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes they can. They can go to my website\u2014and we do have Fields Wild Salmon. Our stocks are a little low right now, but we\u2019re starting a new season. So, we hope to be canning some more. They can buy some through my website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You could go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014we\u2019ve got a link to Leslie\u2019s website. We get no cut off of the salmon sales\u2014I just wanted you to know. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, we do not. In case you\u2019re wondering where Leslie gets the salmon, she\u2019s not on an island on the Mississippi River or on the Gulf of Mexico. She is off Kodiak Island, on Harvester Island, in Alaska\u2014she and her husband. Six children you raised there\u2014they are now starting to leave the nest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>They are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been fishing for <em>36<\/em> years with your husband\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and you\u2019re the author of a book that did not surprise me at all called <em>Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers.<\/em> You begin this book talking about a trip you took your six children on to see your father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes; yes. This was now\u2014well\u2014I can date it ten years ago because my youngest was just a baby. He\u2019s 11 now. I packed up all six kids on spring break. We flew down to Florida for them to meet their grandfather for the first time. I knew it was the first time, and it was probably also the <em>last time<\/em>. I hadn\u2019t talked about my father very much. They knew <em>nothing<\/em> about him, and they weren\u2019t particularly interested; but I knew that, for future reference, they just needed to meet him for themselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you knew Florida would be appealing. They wouldn\u2019t mind a week in Florida; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Well, you know, March\u2014warm, sunny \/ March in Alaska\u2014oh, yes!\u2014Florida was good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But your kids didn\u2019t grow up with phone calls to grandpa, or with presents at Christmas from grandpa, or with the normal grandparent involvement?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Not at all\u2014not at all. No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Why not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>My father was not even a father to his own six children. It would have been absurd for me to think that he would be a grandfather to my six children. He was very detached and seemed to be unable to connect with people\u2014even his own children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when you packed up your kids to take them to Florida, you had already had a disconnected, estranged relationship with this man you were now bringing your children to meet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes. I had left home 30 years before. In those 30 years, I had seen him three times; and that was because I went to see him. He would <em>never <\/em>come to see me. It would never even occur to him to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, to protect your kids as they flew down to see their grandpa, you didn\u2019t actually tell them that he was their grandpa; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>No. I never talked about him as their grandfather because I didn\u2019t feel that connection anyway. I always talked about him as my father. I would say, \u201cWe\u2019re going to meet my father.\u201d I didn\u2019t want to say \u201cgrandfather.\u201d They had another grandfather, who lived right there in Kodiak\u2014my husband\u2019s father. They kind of knew something about a grandfather because he was a kind man. He loved to pull the children up on his lap and do nursery rhymes with them and all the wonderful things that grandpas should do with their children. He did that\u2014so that was their image of a grandfather. I could never\u2014even myself\u2014name my father \u201cgrandfather.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve written eight books. One of your earliest books was about the family you grew up in and the hardship you endured\u2014all the way back to your childhood in New England. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tExplain to our listeners where your dad was and what kind of hardship you and your siblings had to endure because of his irresponsibility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes; yes. We lived in New England. My father was a traveling salesman\u2014that\u2019s what his father did\u2014and that\u2019s what he did, as a teenager\u2014he traveled with his father. That\u2019s what he knew and what he was comfortable with. He went off, every day, to sell; but he was not successful. He went from job to job to job until finally no one would hire him anymore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, he was unemployed. He was unemployed for much of my childhood. We had no family income, and we were very poor. We were\u2014and the phrase is \u201cdesperately poor\u201d\u2014 and that\u2019s indeed what it was. There was not enough food to eat. Our food, at mealtime, was rationed out; and there was no more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was very little food between meals\u2014so we were hungry. Our clothing was homemade, hand-me-down, worn out, out-of-style. We were objects of mockery at school\u2014for all of our clothing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Your dad\u2014well, you say in the book he was a salesman who didn\u2019t sell anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He would go find a coffee shop, drink a cup of coffee, eat some ice cream, and then check into a motel. He had some of the things you all didn\u2019t have\u2014heat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>That\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You lived in homes, you said, in New England\u2014where you, and your mom, and your siblings were fixing these houses up to sell\u2014so you could survive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Right; right. That\u2019s what we did\u2014that was our family business. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would buy an old run-down colonial house and move in\u2014no matter what its state of repair or disrepair. Then we would spend the next few years restoring it back to its original state, but we often ran out of money. So, in high school\u2014in all my years in high school, we lived in a 200-year-old house that was not insulated because those houses were not insulated. We had one wood stove for heat. If it\u2019s 25 degrees outside, it is 25 degrees in my bedroom and every room except the one room that the wood stove was in. You\u2019d go to bed with a glass of water at night\u2014well, you learned not to do that\u2014the next morning\u2014it is frozen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What was your emotional relationship like with your dad? Obviously, he\u2019s not providing. Was he connected with you and your siblings, relationally?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>No, he wasn\u2019t, Bob. He was physically absent\u2014in my earlier years, he was physically absent, being a traveling salesman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when he was unemployed, he was home a lot more; but he was absent. He showed no interest in us\u2014did not talk to us. Sometimes, I wondered if he\u2014I knew he knew our names\u2014our first name. I wondered if he knew our middle names, and I wondered if he knew how old we were and what grade we were in. I think probably, often, he didn\u2019t know those things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So you, growing up\u2014just felt like: \u201cThis is a man who lives in our house, who\u2019s my father\u201d; but you didn\u2019t know much about him \/ didn\u2019t really care much about him; did you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>No. No, we didn\u2019t. He didn\u2019t care about us, and we didn\u2019t really care that much about him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did you ever piece it together as to what would cause a man, who would father six children, to basically ignore them \/ reject them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>It took me a long time, Dennis. When children grow up in a home\u2014no matter what is going on in that home\u2014it\u2019s normal to them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>\u2014that\u2019s their normal. It wasn\u2019t until I became a mother and my husband became a father that I began to see what fathers are for\u2014because I <em>didn\u2019t know<\/em>\u2014I\u2019d never seen it. I saw how much my husband <em>loved<\/em> my children\u2014and how much touch there was, and how he read stories to them and sang to them, and they rode on his back, you know, like a horse\u2014and all of these <em>wonderful <\/em>things. It really began to open up for me what was missing\u2014what had been missing all those years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>On the cover of your book it says: \u201cFinding Freedom from Hurt and Hate.\u201d Explain to our listeners what the hurt felt like. Obviously, there was an absence of a father\u2014emotionally connecting, protecting, providing\u2014the basic things a father is to do\u2014both physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow did that impact a little girl? I think there are listeners, right now, who may be dealing with something similar\u2014if not in their own lives, maybe they\u2019re watching it in their own children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it sounds like you didn\u2019t know there was hurt there until you became an adult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes. I think that\u2019s true for many people as well\u2014but there was hurt, at the time, as well. Here are a couple of other pieces that I\u2019ve left out. There were several times, during our childhood, when\u2014we were destitute much of the time\u2014but there were two times, in particular, when my father took the little bit of money, remaining in the bank that we were living on, and fixed his car and then drove away, intending never to come back. So, abandonment\u2014he abandoned us in moments of our <em>greatest<\/em> need. That hurts\u2014that hurts because it means \u201cYou don\u2019t matter.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a father who doesn\u2019t care that I don\u2019t have food to eat. I have a father who doesn\u2019t care that I don\u2019t have decent clothes to wear. All he cares about is his ability to get out, and be on the road, and to be free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And have his ice cream in the evening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes, and his coffee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did it manifest itself in hate?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>There were times when I hated my father, indeed. Indeed, there were; and it would come and go. Hate is such a destructive force; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t live with a <em>constant<\/em> sense of hate; but it would come, and it would go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When he\u2019d been gone selling\u2014and he\u2019d come back, after a few days, and he\u2019d show up\u2014were you thinking: \u201cI\u2019m glad he\u2019s home,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t care whether he\u2019s here or not,\u201d or \u201cI wish he\u2019d go away again\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>No, I never wanted him to come home because, when he came home, then things got very, very bad. We were never happy to see him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when he was there, life was harder for you and your siblings\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Much harder.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but because of anger \/ because of violence?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There was more hurt, that occurred in different ways, among other siblings in your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>There was. This is something that we didn\u2019t talk about together until <em>many<\/em> years later. Some of us had experienced my father attempting to abuse us sexually. One sibling, in particular, really received the brunt of all that attention. It was\u2014and none of us knew that that was going on repeatedly, over many years, until later; but what I did know was that my father had made those attempts with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some of our listeners will hear\u2014you living in Alaska with a father who lives in Florida\u2014and they will go, \u201cThat\u2019s about as far away as you can get from somebody.\u201d When you became a young adult, was that your goal?\u2014to get as far away as you could get and just wall off that relationship and move on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>You know, it\u2019s so strange why we do the things that we do. In the moment\u2014I was 20 years old when I got married. I married this incredible guy from Alaska. In my mind: \u201cI love him. I <em>love<\/em> adventure. I love the outdoors. This is the kind of life that I want.\u201d But yes\u2014the answer to your question is \u201cYes!\u201d I think that was <em>definitely<\/em> a part of it\u2014\u201cHow far away can I get? Is Kodiak, Alaska, far enough?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You might have been able to get 5,000 miles away from your dad, but you had to live and love a man you called your husband. One of my questions, as I was reading your book, was: \u201cHow did all this impact your marriage, as it started?\u201d You had to have a bit of a warped view of what a man is, and what a man does, and what a woman should expect a man to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes. I think that I probably did. It\u2019s a tough question\u2014\u201cHow did it impact my marriage?\u201d There are so many things going on, at the time. I married very young. I was 20, and my husband was 21. We both were <em>really young<\/em>\u2014we were college students. After college, we moved\u2014went back to Kodiak\u2014this raw wilderness and the world of commercial fishing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was so up for adventure and this hard life that confronted me; but after a few years, it wasn\u2019t enough. I found that my deepest heart was longing for love, and for nurturing, and for what I hadn\u2019t received at home. My marriage was very outward-focused. My husband was not really aware of those very deep needs that I had to be loved and affirmed just exactly for who I was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt took us a few years\u2014no, it took us a long time [Laughter] to really put all that together and for me to be able to articulate\u2014what I needed, as a wife \/ what I needed, as a human being\u2014and that is just to be loved, and accepted, and affirmed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause, when you don\u2019t get that from your father \/ when you don\u2019t get it from your family of origin, it just leaves a gaping wound.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m sitting here, thinking about my question, and I\u2019m thinking that I asked the wrong question. Probably, the right question should have been: \u201cHow did growing up with a father who was absent\u2014emotionally, spiritually, physically\u2014from your life impact your relationship with your Heavenly Father? Because what you\u2019re describing you needed from a human being\u2014you ultimately needed to know you were loved and pursued by the God of the universe, which is at the heart of what He did when He sent His Son to die on a cross for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes. You know, Dennis, the truth is I feel like I wouldn\u2019t be alive today without the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason I was able to leave my family, and go off into the world, and be a semi-functioning person was because the Lord\u2014I came to know Him when I was 13. All the hardship of our family, and all that aching\u2014that need to be loved and nurtured\u2014in some ways, I bless that. I bless that because that\u2019s what led me to the Lord. That created a deep <em>hunger<\/em> and a <em>thirst for God<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy family was not a Christian family, but I <em>knew<\/em> God was there. I had just a deep desire to find Him. I was searching for Him, and someone invited me to a sledding party\u2014a youth group sledding party when I was 13. I heard the gospel for the first time, and I <em>immediately<\/em> gave my heart to the Lord. I thought, \u201cThere He is! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u201c<\/strong>There\u2019s the One I\u2019ve been looking for,\u201d\u2014and it was God my Father. My father could not give me anything, but that sent me to my Heavenly Father. I know that sounds so pious and that sounds so\u2014but it\u2019s <em>so true<\/em>. That\u2019s what pieced me back together and that\u2019s what got me through those years. That\u2019s what brought healing, even in the midst of terrible pain and disruption.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s not pious, because Almighty God does exist. He is pursuing us. He wants a relationship with us. He wants us to humble ourselves\u2014repent of our sins \/ our selfishness\u2014and yield to Him and surrender to Him. When we do, we can then know love Himself because that\u2019s what you\u2019ve found.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes. That is what I\u2019ve found.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You found love Himself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019d say, to any listener right now\u2014maybe what Leslie shared\u2014maybe you come from a totally different background\u2014but maybe you\u2019ve been looking for love in the wrong places. Maybe it\u2019s time you looked in the right place. I\u2019d say: \u201cDon\u2019t put your head on the pillow tonight before you turn to Almighty God and say to Him, \u2018Would you be my Lord, my Master, my Savior?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>\u201cAnd my Father.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \u201cAnd I Your child\u2014that I can experience love, and forgiveness, and be rescued from all my shame.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There is a link on our website, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014that talks about \u201cTwo Ways to Live.\u201d When you go to the website\u2014click where it says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d at the top of the page. That will take you to the space where you can find out more about the offer that God has made to each one of us to become His child\u2014to come into the family and to be loved with an everlasting love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d to find out more about what it means to be in God\u2019s family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ll also find information about the book that Leslie Fields has written, called <em>Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers: Finding Freedom from Hurt and Hate.<\/em> You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to request a copy of the book. Our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis issue of hurt and forgiveness\u2014how we deal with pain and forgiveness\u2014this is at the heart of so many relationships\u2014whether it\u2019s a husband\/wife relationship, or the kind of relationship we\u2019ve talked about today between parents and children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow we reconcile and how we forgive one another is central to our ability to have healthy relationships. At FamilyLife, our commitment \/ our goal is to provide practical biblical help each day on this radio program, on our website, through our resources and our events. We want to provide biblical counsel for godly, healthy relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know there\u2019s a group of you who embrace that mission with us. Some of you are monthly contributors to FamilyLife, as Legacy Partners. I had a chance, this weekend, to say hello to a number of our Legacy Partners in the Washington, DC, area at our <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup>event over the weekend\u2014great event. Some of you are donors, who give on occasion, to help support this ministry. In either case, we appreciate the fact that you have joined with us in this mission and that you\u2019re a part of what God is doing through the ministry of FamilyLife Today. We\u2019re glad to be in partnership with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, something that is a part of Barbara Rainey\u2019s collection of resources called Ever Thine Home<em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em><em>. <\/em>This is a chalkboard that you can hang in your kitchen or your family room\u2014it\u2019s in the shape of a house. At the top, it says \u201cIn this home we give thanks for\u201d and then you can write, in chalk, whatever it is you\u2019re thankful for. It\u2019s not only a nice decorative piece for your home, but also a good teaching tool for your family. It\u2019s our gift to you when you make a donation today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can get a look at what the chalkboard looks like as you make your donation, online. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329. When you make a donation over the phone, just mention that you\u2019d like the chalkboard; and we\u2019ll send it to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can write a note and send your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR: and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about the process of forgiving another person. How do you do that when it\u2019s hard \/ when there\u2019s a lot of pain? We\u2019re going to talk with Leslie Fields about the process she went through. I hope you can be back as we have that conversation tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, with assistance from Mark Ramey. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.76M"],"filesize_raw":["24911902"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303219.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303219.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Leyland Fields recalls the first time she and her six kids traveled to visit her estranged father. Leslie talks about their visit, and her childhood growing up with a mentally ill father.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-10-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Leslie Fields grew up with a hole in her heart\u2014a hole she didn\u2019t know she had\u2014not a physical hole. It was actually an ache that came from having a father who, as far as she knew, didn\u2019t love her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t until I became a mother and my husband became a father that I began to see what fathers are for\u2014because I didn\u2019t know\u2014I\u2019d never seen it. I saw how much my husband loved my children\u2014and how he read stories to them and sang to them\u2014all of these <em>wonderful<\/em> things. It really began to open up for me what had been missing all those years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, October 6<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How does a young wife and mom ultimately deal with feelings of hurt and hate toward her father? We\u2019ll explore that today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. When I saw that our favorite salmon fisherman had written the book that she\u2019s written, I thought, Dennis\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now wait a second. I\u2019m a salmon fisherman too. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You did say \u201cour\u201d; didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; \u201cour,\u201d yes\u2014<em>you<\/em> would be my favorite salmon fisherman\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t know any other salmon fishermen\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and Leslie is number two.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014than the two that are sitting here around the table! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Oh, man. I just went from place number one to two! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No. No, you are <em>our<\/em> favorite salmon fisher<em>woman<\/em>. You said \u201cman\u201d\u2014so that\u2019s even bad too. Leslie Leyland Fields joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Oh, it\u2019s great to be back. It\u2019s good to see you guys again. And I brought you some salmon, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>It\u2019s in the satchel over there. That\u2019s why it weighs about 50 pounds. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I will take it\u2014I\u2019ve enjoyed it in the past. Can listeners\u2014can they go online and buy your salmon?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes they can. They can go to my website\u2014and we do have Fields Wild Salmon. Our stocks are a little low right now, but we\u2019re starting a new season. So, we hope to be canning some more. They can buy some through my website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You could go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014we\u2019ve got a link to Leslie\u2019s website. We get no cut off of the salmon sales\u2014I just wanted you to know. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, we do not. In case you\u2019re wondering where Leslie gets the salmon, she\u2019s not on an island on the Mississippi River or on the Gulf of Mexico. She is off Kodiak Island, on Harvester Island, in Alaska\u2014she and her husband. Six children you raised there\u2014they are now starting to leave the nest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>They are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been fishing for <em>36<\/em> years with your husband\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and you\u2019re the author of a book that did not surprise me at all called <em>Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers.<\/em> You begin this book talking about a trip you took your six children on to see your father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes; yes. This was now\u2014well\u2014I can date it ten years ago because my youngest was just a baby. He\u2019s 11 now. I packed up all six kids on spring break. We flew down to Florida for them to meet their grandfather for the first time. I knew it was the first time, and it was probably also the <em>last time<\/em>. I hadn\u2019t talked about my father very much. They knew <em>nothing<\/em> about him, and they weren\u2019t particularly interested; but I knew that, for future reference, they just needed to meet him for themselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you knew Florida would be appealing. They wouldn\u2019t mind a week in Florida; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Well, you know, March\u2014warm, sunny \/ March in Alaska\u2014oh, yes!\u2014Florida was good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But your kids didn\u2019t grow up with phone calls to grandpa, or with presents at Christmas from grandpa, or with the normal grandparent involvement?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Not at all\u2014not at all. No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Why not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>My father was not even a father to his own six children. It would have been absurd for me to think that he would be a grandfather to my six children. He was very detached and seemed to be unable to connect with people\u2014even his own children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when you packed up your kids to take them to Florida, you had already had a disconnected, estranged relationship with this man you were now bringing your children to meet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes. I had left home 30 years before. In those 30 years, I had seen him three times; and that was because I went to see him. He would <em>never <\/em>come to see me. It would never even occur to him to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, to protect your kids as they flew down to see their grandpa, you didn\u2019t actually tell them that he was their grandpa; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>No. I never talked about him as their grandfather because I didn\u2019t feel that connection anyway. I always talked about him as my father. I would say, \u201cWe\u2019re going to meet my father.\u201d I didn\u2019t want to say \u201cgrandfather.\u201d They had another grandfather, who lived right there in Kodiak\u2014my husband\u2019s father. They kind of knew something about a grandfather because he was a kind man. He loved to pull the children up on his lap and do nursery rhymes with them and all the wonderful things that grandpas should do with their children. He did that\u2014so that was their image of a grandfather. I could never\u2014even myself\u2014name my father \u201cgrandfather.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve written eight books. One of your earliest books was about the family you grew up in and the hardship you endured\u2014all the way back to your childhood in New England. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tExplain to our listeners where your dad was and what kind of hardship you and your siblings had to endure because of his irresponsibility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes; yes. We lived in New England. My father was a traveling salesman\u2014that\u2019s what his father did\u2014and that\u2019s what he did, as a teenager\u2014he traveled with his father. That\u2019s what he knew and what he was comfortable with. He went off, every day, to sell; but he was not successful. He went from job to job to job until finally no one would hire him anymore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, he was unemployed. He was unemployed for much of my childhood. We had no family income, and we were very poor. We were\u2014and the phrase is \u201cdesperately poor\u201d\u2014 and that\u2019s indeed what it was. There was not enough food to eat. Our food, at mealtime, was rationed out; and there was no more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was very little food between meals\u2014so we were hungry. Our clothing was homemade, hand-me-down, worn out, out-of-style. We were objects of mockery at school\u2014for all of our clothing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Your dad\u2014well, you say in the book he was a salesman who didn\u2019t sell anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He would go find a coffee shop, drink a cup of coffee, eat some ice cream, and then check into a motel. He had some of the things you all didn\u2019t have\u2014heat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>That\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You lived in homes, you said, in New England\u2014where you, and your mom, and your siblings were fixing these houses up to sell\u2014so you could survive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Right; right. That\u2019s what we did\u2014that was our family business. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would buy an old run-down colonial house and move in\u2014no matter what its state of repair or disrepair. Then we would spend the next few years restoring it back to its original state, but we often ran out of money. So, in high school\u2014in all my years in high school, we lived in a 200-year-old house that was not insulated because those houses were not insulated. We had one wood stove for heat. If it\u2019s 25 degrees outside, it is 25 degrees in my bedroom and every room except the one room that the wood stove was in. You\u2019d go to bed with a glass of water at night\u2014well, you learned not to do that\u2014the next morning\u2014it is frozen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What was your emotional relationship like with your dad? Obviously, he\u2019s not providing. Was he connected with you and your siblings, relationally?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>No, he wasn\u2019t, Bob. He was physically absent\u2014in my earlier years, he was physically absent, being a traveling salesman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when he was unemployed, he was home a lot more; but he was absent. He showed no interest in us\u2014did not talk to us. Sometimes, I wondered if he\u2014I knew he knew our names\u2014our first name. I wondered if he knew our middle names, and I wondered if he knew how old we were and what grade we were in. I think probably, often, he didn\u2019t know those things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So you, growing up\u2014just felt like: \u201cThis is a man who lives in our house, who\u2019s my father\u201d; but you didn\u2019t know much about him \/ didn\u2019t really care much about him; did you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>No. No, we didn\u2019t. He didn\u2019t care about us, and we didn\u2019t really care that much about him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did you ever piece it together as to what would cause a man, who would father six children, to basically ignore them \/ reject them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>It took me a long time, Dennis. When children grow up in a home\u2014no matter what is going on in that home\u2014it\u2019s normal to them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>\u2014that\u2019s their normal. It wasn\u2019t until I became a mother and my husband became a father that I began to see what fathers are for\u2014because I <em>didn\u2019t know<\/em>\u2014I\u2019d never seen it. I saw how much my husband <em>loved<\/em> my children\u2014and how much touch there was, and how he read stories to them and sang to them, and they rode on his back, you know, like a horse\u2014and all of these <em>wonderful <\/em>things. It really began to open up for me what was missing\u2014what had been missing all those years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>On the cover of your book it says: \u201cFinding Freedom from Hurt and Hate.\u201d Explain to our listeners what the hurt felt like. Obviously, there was an absence of a father\u2014emotionally connecting, protecting, providing\u2014the basic things a father is to do\u2014both physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow did that impact a little girl? I think there are listeners, right now, who may be dealing with something similar\u2014if not in their own lives, maybe they\u2019re watching it in their own children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it sounds like you didn\u2019t know there was hurt there until you became an adult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes. I think that\u2019s true for many people as well\u2014but there was hurt, at the time, as well. Here are a couple of other pieces that I\u2019ve left out. There were several times, during our childhood, when\u2014we were destitute much of the time\u2014but there were two times, in particular, when my father took the little bit of money, remaining in the bank that we were living on, and fixed his car and then drove away, intending never to come back. So, abandonment\u2014he abandoned us in moments of our <em>greatest<\/em> need. That hurts\u2014that hurts because it means \u201cYou don\u2019t matter.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a father who doesn\u2019t care that I don\u2019t have food to eat. I have a father who doesn\u2019t care that I don\u2019t have decent clothes to wear. All he cares about is his ability to get out, and be on the road, and to be free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And have his ice cream in the evening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes, and his coffee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did it manifest itself in hate?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>There were times when I hated my father, indeed. Indeed, there were; and it would come and go. Hate is such a destructive force; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t live with a <em>constant<\/em> sense of hate; but it would come, and it would go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When he\u2019d been gone selling\u2014and he\u2019d come back, after a few days, and he\u2019d show up\u2014were you thinking: \u201cI\u2019m glad he\u2019s home,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t care whether he\u2019s here or not,\u201d or \u201cI wish he\u2019d go away again\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>No, I never wanted him to come home because, when he came home, then things got very, very bad. We were never happy to see him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when he was there, life was harder for you and your siblings\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Much harder.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but because of anger \/ because of violence?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There was more hurt, that occurred in different ways, among other siblings in your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>There was. This is something that we didn\u2019t talk about together until <em>many<\/em> years later. Some of us had experienced my father attempting to abuse us sexually. One sibling, in particular, really received the brunt of all that attention. It was\u2014and none of us knew that that was going on repeatedly, over many years, until later; but what I did know was that my father had made those attempts with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some of our listeners will hear\u2014you living in Alaska with a father who lives in Florida\u2014and they will go, \u201cThat\u2019s about as far away as you can get from somebody.\u201d When you became a young adult, was that your goal?\u2014to get as far away as you could get and just wall off that relationship and move on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>You know, it\u2019s so strange why we do the things that we do. In the moment\u2014I was 20 years old when I got married. I married this incredible guy from Alaska. In my mind: \u201cI love him. I <em>love<\/em> adventure. I love the outdoors. This is the kind of life that I want.\u201d But yes\u2014the answer to your question is \u201cYes!\u201d I think that was <em>definitely<\/em> a part of it\u2014\u201cHow far away can I get? Is Kodiak, Alaska, far enough?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You might have been able to get 5,000 miles away from your dad, but you had to live and love a man you called your husband. One of my questions, as I was reading your book, was: \u201cHow did all this impact your marriage, as it started?\u201d You had to have a bit of a warped view of what a man is, and what a man does, and what a woman should expect a man to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes. I think that I probably did. It\u2019s a tough question\u2014\u201cHow did it impact my marriage?\u201d There are so many things going on, at the time. I married very young. I was 20, and my husband was 21. We both were <em>really young<\/em>\u2014we were college students. After college, we moved\u2014went back to Kodiak\u2014this raw wilderness and the world of commercial fishing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was so up for adventure and this hard life that confronted me; but after a few years, it wasn\u2019t enough. I found that my deepest heart was longing for love, and for nurturing, and for what I hadn\u2019t received at home. My marriage was very outward-focused. My husband was not really aware of those very deep needs that I had to be loved and affirmed just exactly for who I was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt took us a few years\u2014no, it took us a long time [Laughter] to really put all that together and for me to be able to articulate\u2014what I needed, as a wife \/ what I needed, as a human being\u2014and that is just to be loved, and accepted, and affirmed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause, when you don\u2019t get that from your father \/ when you don\u2019t get it from your family of origin, it just leaves a gaping wound.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m sitting here, thinking about my question, and I\u2019m thinking that I asked the wrong question. Probably, the right question should have been: \u201cHow did growing up with a father who was absent\u2014emotionally, spiritually, physically\u2014from your life impact your relationship with your Heavenly Father? Because what you\u2019re describing you needed from a human being\u2014you ultimately needed to know you were loved and pursued by the God of the universe, which is at the heart of what He did when He sent His Son to die on a cross for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes. You know, Dennis, the truth is I feel like I wouldn\u2019t be alive today without the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason I was able to leave my family, and go off into the world, and be a semi-functioning person was because the Lord\u2014I came to know Him when I was 13. All the hardship of our family, and all that aching\u2014that need to be loved and nurtured\u2014in some ways, I bless that. I bless that because that\u2019s what led me to the Lord. That created a deep <em>hunger<\/em> and a <em>thirst for God<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy family was not a Christian family, but I <em>knew<\/em> God was there. I had just a deep desire to find Him. I was searching for Him, and someone invited me to a sledding party\u2014a youth group sledding party when I was 13. I heard the gospel for the first time, and I <em>immediately<\/em> gave my heart to the Lord. I thought, \u201cThere He is! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u201c<\/strong>There\u2019s the One I\u2019ve been looking for,\u201d\u2014and it was God my Father. My father could not give me anything, but that sent me to my Heavenly Father. I know that sounds so pious and that sounds so\u2014but it\u2019s <em>so true<\/em>. That\u2019s what pieced me back together and that\u2019s what got me through those years. That\u2019s what brought healing, even in the midst of terrible pain and disruption.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s not pious, because Almighty God does exist. He is pursuing us. He wants a relationship with us. He wants us to humble ourselves\u2014repent of our sins \/ our selfishness\u2014and yield to Him and surrender to Him. When we do, we can then know love Himself because that\u2019s what you\u2019ve found.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes. That is what I\u2019ve found.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You found love Himself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019d say, to any listener right now\u2014maybe what Leslie shared\u2014maybe you come from a totally different background\u2014but maybe you\u2019ve been looking for love in the wrong places. Maybe it\u2019s time you looked in the right place. I\u2019d say: \u201cDon\u2019t put your head on the pillow tonight before you turn to Almighty God and say to Him, \u2018Would you be my Lord, my Master, my Savior?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie: <\/strong>\u201cAnd my Father.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \u201cAnd I Your child\u2014that I can experience love, and forgiveness, and be rescued from all my shame.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There is a link on our website, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014that talks about \u201cTwo Ways to Live.\u201d When you go to the website\u2014click where it says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d at the top of the page. That will take you to the space where you can find out more about the offer that God has made to each one of us to become His child\u2014to come into the family and to be loved with an everlasting love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d to find out more about what it means to be in God\u2019s family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ll also find information about the book that Leslie Fields has written, called <em>Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers: Finding Freedom from Hurt and Hate.<\/em> You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to request a copy of the book. Our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis issue of hurt and forgiveness\u2014how we deal with pain and forgiveness\u2014this is at the heart of so many relationships\u2014whether it\u2019s a husband\/wife relationship, or the kind of relationship we\u2019ve talked about today between parents and children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow we reconcile and how we forgive one another is central to our ability to have healthy relationships. At FamilyLife, our commitment \/ our goal is to provide practical biblical help each day on this radio program, on our website, through our resources and our events. We want to provide biblical counsel for godly, healthy relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know there\u2019s a group of you who embrace that mission with us. Some of you are monthly contributors to FamilyLife, as Legacy Partners. I had a chance, this weekend, to say hello to a number of our Legacy Partners in the Washington, DC, area at our <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup>event over the weekend\u2014great event. Some of you are donors, who give on occasion, to help support this ministry. In either case, we appreciate the fact that you have joined with us in this mission and that you\u2019re a part of what God is doing through the ministry of FamilyLife Today. We\u2019re glad to be in partnership with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, something that is a part of Barbara Rainey\u2019s collection of resources called Ever Thine Home<em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em><em>. <\/em>This is a chalkboard that you can hang in your kitchen or your family room\u2014it\u2019s in the shape of a house. At the top, it says \u201cIn this home we give thanks for\u201d and then you can write, in chalk, whatever it is you\u2019re thankful for. It\u2019s not only a nice decorative piece for your home, but also a good teaching tool for your family. It\u2019s our gift to you when you make a donation today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can get a look at what the chalkboard looks like as you make your donation, online. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329. When you make a donation over the phone, just mention that you\u2019d like the chalkboard; and we\u2019ll send it to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can write a note and send your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR: and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about the process of forgiving another person. How do you do that when it\u2019s hard \/ when there\u2019s a lot of pain? We\u2019re going to talk with Leslie Fields about the process she went through. I hope you can be back as we have that conversation tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, with assistance from Mark Ramey. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303219"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303219"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303219"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303219"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}