{"id":303167,"date":"2014-08-21T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-08-21T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-player-in-the-game-of-love\/"},"modified":"2014-08-21T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-08-21T15:00:00","slug":"a-player-in-the-game-of-love","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-player-in-the-game-of-love\/","title":{"rendered":"A Player in the Game of Love"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Paula Hendricks reminisces about her teen years when she was desperate for the boys&#8217; attention and eager to shed her church girl persona. By God&#8217;s grace, however, Paula got her breakthrough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-21.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.9M","filesize_raw":"26104728","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2836,2815],"tags":[5400,5403,5401,5402,5404],"podcast_series":[8033],"cwp_profile":[3241],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303167","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raising-girls","category-sexual-wholeness","tag-boy-crazy","tag-boyfriends","tag-crush","tag-crushes","tag-daddy-issues","podcast_series-confessions-of-a-boy-crazy-girl","cwp_profile-paula-hendricks","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303167\/a-player-in-the-game-of-love","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303167\/a-player-in-the-game-of-love","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"jxTXDpyRWj\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-player-in-the-game-of-love\/\">A Player in the Game of Love<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-player-in-the-game-of-love\/embed\/#?secret=jxTXDpyRWj\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Player in the Game of Love&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"jxTXDpyRWj\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-21.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-21.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Paula Hendricks grew up as a self-described boy-crazy girl. When she was a young teenager, she was going out on dates; and her parents had no idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Twelve, thirteen, fourteen were my really brutal years as far as dating non-Christians\u2014behind their backs\u2014and finding it to be the way Psalm 16:4 says, \u201cThe sorrows of those who run after another god will multiply.\u201d\u00a0 I began to experience that in my early teens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, August 21<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Being a boy-crazy girl caused a lot of heartache for Paula Hendricks. She visits with us today to share some of her experiences. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You raised four daughters through their teen years; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sure did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I know all four of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>White knuckle time too. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Were any of the four girls\u2014did they go through a phase of being boy-crazy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Behind our backs. Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You were not aware of?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think all four of them somehow, someway found a way to \u201cgo out.\u201d We used to call it going steady\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014with a guy\u2014without us knowing about it. You know, they are probably going to correct me on this; but I seem to recall a good bit of boy-craziness\u2014as parents\u2014just trying to kind of ride it out. I think our guest on today\u2019s broadcast can identify with what I just mentioned. Paula Hendricks joins us. You snuck around; didn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I sure did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, your parents never knew it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Not a clue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ll get to that in a second. Paula Hendricks works for <em>Revive Our Hearts<\/em>\u2122\u2014which is a good friend of ours. Nancy Leigh DeMoss gives leadership to a women\u2019s ministry there. You work in writing and editorial\u2014work on a blog\u2014specifically, for what age group?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Well, my favorite part of the job is blogging for teens on LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Undoubtedly, a lot of your teens get the advice that\u2019s in your book, <em>Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl<\/em>. When did this malady first strike you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Early. I remember lying in bed, night after night, probably as a seven-\/eight-year-old, praying: \u201cGod, please, let me marry Chadwick Chandler Chatterton. Please let me marry Chadwick Chandler Chatterton.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t even say that anymore. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you know where he is?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Well, you know what?\u00a0 I changed the names to protect the innocent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, that\u2019s good.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>So, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, Paula, I can\u2019t help but think that\u2014if you were a boy-crazy girl, back when you were seven\/eight\/nine\u2014how much worse do you think it is today for young ladies, growing up in homes today, because of all the excess of media that they have?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I can\u2019t imagine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know, for me, what really fed it was reading Christian romance novels\u2014which you would think, \u201cOh, that\u2019s completely harmless\u201d; but I would kind of flip ahead to all the really romantic parts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you talking about\u2014because I\u2019m thinking of things like <em>Love Comes Softly<\/em> and those kinds of books. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes; yes. My parents were very careful about what I read\u2014much to my frustration\u2014but they thought Christian books would be fine. But I was just going anywhere I could to kind of feed that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And what was it about those scenes in those novels that you just found thrilling?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>The girl was always loved by the guy; and so, the girl always came out on top. When I was young, I was pretty dorky. I had glasses that covered half my face and were as thick as Krispy Kreme Doughnuts<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. [Laughter] I had to wear super modest\u2014we called them culottes. I just really did not fit in the public school scene. So, I <em>longed<\/em> to be loved and pursued. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And young ladies are told, if they are beautiful, they are going to be liked. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou tell a great story in your book about what happened to you as you were beginning to think of yourself as being beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes, well, I came to believe a couple of lies the day of my eighth-grade field trip. I remember a friend brought in a pair of itty bitty shorts. I tried them on in the bathroom. Four or five times\u2014I would take them off and put them on because I <em>knew<\/em> there was no way on earth my dad would ever let me out of the house in these\u2014but I was at school\u2014so, I thought: \u201cMy parents won\u2019t know. I\u2019ll wear my big jeans over it. Then, when I get on the bus, I\u2019ll take it off.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I did it; and that was the first day that I held hands with a boy. I connected dots and believed: \u201cIf I can just be beautiful enough, then, I\u2019ll be loved.\u201d I also came to believe that being beautiful enough meant showing off my body. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, did you have any qualms of conscience?\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mom and Dad\u2014if they found out, did you go home feeling guilty at night?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Oh, for sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember lying in bed, asking God to forgive me. I thought, \u201cI want to do right, but I can\u2019t!\u201d\u00a0 So, there was no true repentance\u2014which is doing a 180 and returning to God. I was planning on continuing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Tell us about the home you grew up in, from a spiritual perspective.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Were you raised in a home where the parents believed in Jesus Christ and implanted that faith in you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Wow, yes; but it was kind of segregated. There would be times when we would spend time together, as a family, reading the Bible every morning and every evening; and we\u2019d go to church Wednesdays and Sundays. So, we looked very, very spiritual; but I didn\u2019t really get how God had everything to do with my everyday life. It just kind of seemed like: \u201cOkay, now, we go have God time. Okay, now, we go back to real life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And so, how long was it before you would say you were born-again or came into a relationship with Jesus Christ, which ultimately changed your heart?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>It changed everything about me. And you know, I <em>thought <\/em>that I was saved, as a little girl, when I was\u2014I think I was four. I started praying every single night, \u201cJesus, please forgive me for my sins\u201d; <em>but <\/em>I\u2019d never really came to understand the true gospel until my early 20\u2019s. I thought that the gospel was that Jesus died for my sins, and I have to be perfect now and please Him or He will be mad at me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, all the way through adolescence, as you were relating to the opposite sex, you kind of had God parked off \/ segmented into another area of your life. The dating area was pretty much your own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You called your own shots.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Absolutely. I was in control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>What had your mom and dad taught you about boys, and about how you should get along with them, and about when it was appropriate to start dating them?\u00a0 Did you have rules like that, growing up?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>It felt like\u2014to me, at the time\u2014everything was a rule. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just knew I couldn\u2019t date boys. I didn\u2019t really know when I could. There wasn\u2019t a lot of conversation about it. It was just kind of off-limits. Like you said, Dennis, I just found ways to go behind their backs. <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, how old were you at that time when you couldn\u2019t date?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I was probably twelve\/thirteen. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen were my really brutal years as far as dating non-Christians\u2014behind their backs\u2014and finding it to be the way Psalm 16:4 says, \u201cThe sorrows of those who run after another god will multiply.\u201d\u00a0 I began to experience that in my early teens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, I remember the middle school years\u2014the junior high years\u2014because that was, in my life, when paring off started to happen. The cool kids started to have boyfriends and girlfriends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t really care who she is\u2014I would just like a girlfriend.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s kind of the same experience you had; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes, my first boyfriend was a druggie; and I knew it. I didn\u2019t care because he liked me. He actually liked me, when I first had those huge glasses\u2014which just blew me away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, wait, a druggie\u2014how old were you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I was in eighth grade\u2014so, is that twelve?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And how much older was he?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>He was in the same grade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Same grade\u2014and he\u2019s already into drugs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you knew that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did he offer you drugs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>No, just passed notes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you\u2019re going home at night to Mom and Dad, who don\u2019t know anything about this, and you are writing notes or\u2014were you calling each other at night?\u00a0 What was going on?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes\u2014no, my parents were <em>so, so<\/em> strict\u2014so, you couldn\u2019t get much by them. So, it was just when we were at school\u2014we would write notes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think what I want parents to kind of take away here, at the beginning of your story, is that this happens to good kids, who are from good homes. The problem is\u2014you can have a good kid\u2014you shouldn\u2019t forget, though, that his or her heart has a great desire to deceive and go around the rules. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, if the rule is there, more than likely, sin will increase, in a way. I remember growing up in a solid, Christian home; yet, I found ways in junior high \/\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014high school, before I drove, to sneak around and to find a way to go hang out with a crowd I shouldn\u2019t have been with. How long did you date the drug guy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Well, actually, it wasn\u2019t long at all. I think it was a month or three months. Then, what happened was\u2014school came to an end. He ended up calling me; and then, he proceeded to tell me he was afraid he would cheat on me during the summer because he knew he wouldn\u2019t be able to see me. So, even though he loved me\u2014that was the first time I heard those words that I <em>longed<\/em> to hear\u2014\u201cI love you\u201d\u2014he said, \u201cWe need to break up.\u201d\u00a0 So, that was the first of many, many heartbreaks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, he proactively broke up with you so he wouldn\u2019t have to cheat on you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes, wasn\u2019t that good of him?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What did that phone call do to you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Wow!\u00a0 I just remember crying. I remember my parents asking me: \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u00a0 Why are you so sad?\u201d\u00a0 I just said, \u201cOh, I just miss my friends from school\u201d; but of course, it was missing one person in particular. I just couldn\u2019t understand it. I couldn\u2019t understand how I could be so close to the one thing that I thought would make me happy; and then, have it just vanish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, Dennis has written a book for parents of boys called <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>. Were you an aggressive girl?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I wasn\u2019t aggressive in the sense of I never asked someone out; but I was <em>very<\/em> aggressive in using my body, and my non-verbals, and everything that girls learn how to work these days. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You flirted with boys?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Oh, for sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, what\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I was awesome at flirting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What would that\u2014I mean, in the eighth grade, how would you flirt with a boy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I mean, I would borrow my friend\u2019s short shorts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would sit certain ways. You would look at them in certain ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Knowing that there were guys looking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Oh, yes. I remember\u2014something as simple as I would always have a huge smile on my face and laugh out loud because I thought, \u201cI\u2019ll be much more attractive if I look fun.\u201d\u00a0 So, I wasn\u2019t even laughing because I was truly having fun. I was laughing to play a part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting, as I was reading your book, you quickly insert your relationship with your dad and tie a good bit of your boy-craziness to an absence of a relationship with your dad. Explain what was going on there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I really have a great dad. He worked hard for our family. He was home at night, but we just missed each other. I don\u2019t fully understand all the reasons; but he was a very strong man, and I was a very sensitive, emotional girl. So, whenever I would start to cry\u2014which was all the time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I have my Kleenex here just in case I start to cry today. [Laughter] He would tell me to cut it out. So, I felt like I could never be me around my dad. I felt like I always had to be perfect. And that wasn\u2019t who I was. So, there wasn\u2019t a real relationship because I was just trying to be someone I felt like he wanted. I didn\u2019t feel like he loved me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t\u2014it took years for me to learn that different people show love in different ways. My dad is a real servant. He will take care of my car, or he helped me with a book report when I was in eighth grade or ninth grade. But at the time, I missed those. I just wanted him to connect with me, on an emotional level. I never remember him telling me I was beautiful. I <em>longed<\/em> to hear him say that I was beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, that was what I was going to ask you. How would you coach a dad\u2014because now you are blogging\u2014you\u2019re communicating with young ladies, who are growing up, right now\u2014what are some of the things you\u2019ve learned that you would coach dads to do today if they\u2019re raising a daughter? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, they\u2019ve got a younger daughter\u2014maybe, she\u2019s a teenager. What exactly are they looking for from Daddy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Well, I would say to you, father, that you are <em>the <\/em>most important man in your daughter\u2019s life. She really will pick up big clues of who God is based on who you are. So, I would just encourage dads, \u201cMake room for open, honest communication rather than just giving rules, top down, and not allowing any questions back.\u201d\u00a0 I think that is huge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How did that happen in your relationship with your dad?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>There wasn\u2019t room for me to ask questions or to\u2014it was kind of seen as defiant if I would question something. And so, I just learned to stuff it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, but there was a breakthrough. You did have a breakthrough with your dad, later on in college. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I did. I just praise the Lord for that. I don\u2019t know what it was, but I guess something about moving out of the house and getting a little distance. Then, my dad would come pick me up from college because I didn\u2019t have a car. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe would drive me back home. We just had, for the first time in our lives, like really good conversations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the Lord was beginning to teach me how to respect my dad because there was a whole lot of rolling my eyes and letting him know, through my non-verbals, that I really didn\u2019t respect him or agree. So, I am so grateful for the work that God has done. I love my dad today, and he does a great job of loving me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you sat down to write this book, part of the <em>Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl<\/em> was confession about this relationship with your dad. You and he had to have some long talks before you wrote this, or as you were writing it, because you were about to go public with some of this; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. I actually, probably, deliberated over Chapter 2 more than any other chapter. I worked on every single word, and I prayed over every single word. Then, by faith, I just kind of\u2014and with great fear and trepidation\u2014I sent it to my dad and said: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDad, what do you think of this chapter?\u00a0 If you don\u2019t feel comfortable with it, then, I won\u2019t include it.\u201d\u00a0 Yet, I was praying, \u201cOh, God, please let him be okay with it because I feel like it\u2019s <em>so<\/em> fundamental and critical in the boy-crazy cycle.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just amazed. He ended up writing me back an email, like fifteen minutes later, saying: \u201cLove you\u2014loved this. Love what you are doing.\u201d Something\u2014I was like blown away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You had a trip with your dad that God used to kind of break through the ice and connect you two to one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. We headed down to my aunt and uncle\u2019s to, I think, clean out their barn. So, we were working together that weekend. I am a consummate question-asker, and I felt like my questions\u2014I don\u2019t think my dad understands them. I think they kind of make him uncomfortable. So, I decided not to ask any questions on that trip. It was like such a great trip. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I remember getting back; and I went back to college. He ended up calling me, after that, and asking me some questions, and ending the phone call with \u201cI love you.\u201d I just really felt like the Lord did a lot through that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I used to teach a class to several hundred college students. It was called Christian Single Life. I would give a message about honoring your parents. After that message\u2014the number of young ladies, who would come and stand in line to tell me a story, that had a similar theme but different variations\u2014but the story was basically: \u201cI longed to have my dad tell me he loves me and give me his heart. I don\u2019t want his stuff. I want his time. I want his attention, and I want his affection.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s interesting, in your book, you really tie your lack of getting that from your dad to kind of how you headed off in the wrong direction because you were trying to fill a void in your heart\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that I think, really, Paula\u2014was designed, by God, to be filled by a daddy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. I struggled a little bit with sharing it because I do agree that dads are so critical in this; and yet, I also\u2014I love these verses in Acts 16:26, 27\u2014where it talks about God, not only creating us, but then, choosing where we would live on the face of the earth, and determining our periods and our boundaries of our dwelling place\u2014which I think includes, not only where we are going to live, but <em>who <\/em>we\u2019re going to live with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt says\u2014this is the reason why He does it\u2014\u201cThat they should seek God and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him.\u201d\u00a0 I feel like, ultimately, in the end, while there were so many nights where I would cry into my pillow and beat my pillow with just anger and frustration over my relationship with my dad\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I feel like, ultimately, it was a gift because it was what drove me to God because I wasn\u2019t finding what I wanted in my dad. <br><br>So, to girls, who don\u2019t have that father relationship they long for, I just want to encourage you that, ultimately, this can be a gift to drive you to your Heavenly Father\u2014just want to encourage you that He\u2019s not like your earthly father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, and to not quit or to give up on your dad because those connections can be reinstated in the relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>For sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ve got one thing I want you to do before we\u2019re done here on the broadcast. I want Bob to explain to our listeners how they can get a copy of your book, but I\u2019m going to ask you to grab your Kleenex\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Okay. Oh no!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I\u2019m going to ask you\u2014I\u2019m going to give you a few moments to think about this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but I\u2019m going to give you a chance, here on national radio, to seat your dad across the table from you and to tell him how much he means to you today. Will you do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes, I will. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>While you\u2019re thinking about that, let me let our listeners know that we have copies of your book, <em>Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center\u2014great book for a mom to go through with a young teen girl\u2014great book for any young woman to read as she thinks about \u201cHow do I live a life where God is my focus and where the attention of boys is not an encumbrance to me \/ not an idol to me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com if you\u2019d like to order a copy of Paula Hendricks\u2019 book, <em>Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey From Neediness to Freedom<\/em>. You can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d The book is right there. Or you can call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that we have a number of resources that speak to this issue for parents: the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> resource; Dennis, your book\u2014<em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is just a lot of material available. So, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and check it out. Again, click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d The information you need about the resources will be right there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, of course, you and I are getting ready to head to Portland, Oregon, Dennis. We\u2019ve got the <em>I Still Do<\/em><em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em> one-day event for couples happening there on Saturday. Really excited about getting to go up and to, once again, be with Dr. Al Mohler, and Crawford and Karen Loritts, and David Nasser, and Shaunti Feldhahn, and Ron Deal, and everybody who is going to be out for that event. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m excited about getting a chance to personally say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those listeners who are donors to the ministry of FamilyLife\u2014those of you who are Legacy Partners and donate each month or those of you who get in touch with us, from time to time, and let us know that you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We appreciate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are about to wrap up our fiscal year. This month is when we close the books on one year and start a brand-new year. Of course, we are hoping that we can end our fiscal year in a healthy financial position. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo do that, we want to ask our listeners to consider going to FamilyLifeToday.com today and making a generous fiscal yearend contribution to support this ministry. All you have to do is click the link in the upper right-hand corner of our homepage at FamilyLifeToday.com. The link says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can make an online donation. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Or you can write a check and mail it to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you get in touch with us to make a donation, we want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by making available some activity cards with some great ideas for activities you can do, as a family, that will help cultivate your child\u2019s faith. Again, that\u2019s our thank-you gift when you help support the ministry. We do appreciate your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I hope listeners will get a copy of Paula\u2019s book, <em>Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl<\/em>. Paula, it\u2019s been a treat to have you on the broadcast today and kind of hear your story of your relationship with your dad and how God ultimately redeemed it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI told you to grab a Kleenex because I know you took a risk by writing in a couple of chapters about your relationship with your dad and how everything wasn\u2019t perfect and wasn\u2019t right. That kind of spun you off in a direction, but you\u2019re a young lady now\u2014a woman. I know that dads listen to adult children and their words today as never before. I\u2019d like to just give you a chance to say to your dad what he means to you today and just address him in first person\u2014just speak to him\u2014and pretend Bob and I aren\u2019t here; okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, Dad, hey, it\u2019s me. And Dennis wanted me to pick up a Kleenex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did get teary when he asked me to talk to you. I just want to say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for putting up with me for all those years\u2014for being patient with my eye-rolling and my sighing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for driving past Dairy Queen<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> at night to make sure that I was really there and keeping a very, very close eye on me because, even though I hated it at the time, I hate to think of what I would have done if you had given me free reign and the regret that I would carry today, that I don\u2019t have to live with, because you were protective. So, I am very grateful for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that our relationship isn\u2019t perfect. It\u2019s still a journey, but I really couldn\u2019t ask for a better dad. I know that I live a few hours away from you\u2014and I\u2019ve got great Christian men in my life who take care of me\u2014but I just fully believe this and want you to know that I need you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will never stop needing you\u2014and not just for giving me advice about my car\u2014but I need you just to keep loving me. [Emotion in voice] I can\u2019t tell you how much it means whenever I see on my phone that \u201cDad\u2019s calling.\u201d I can\u2019t tell you how much it means whenever you pray for me after I share what I\u2019m struggling with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not perfect, and you\u2019re not perfect; but we have a perfect God who brings beauty out of brokenness. I trust Him to continue to do that, and I thank Him for you. I love you lots!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.9M"],"filesize_raw":["26104728"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303167.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303167.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Hendricks reminisces about her teen years when she was desperate for the boys' attention and eager to shed her church girl persona. By God's grace, however, Paula got her breakthrough.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-21.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Paula Hendricks grew up as a self-described boy-crazy girl. When she was a young teenager, she was going out on dates; and her parents had no idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Twelve, thirteen, fourteen were my really brutal years as far as dating non-Christians\u2014behind their backs\u2014and finding it to be the way Psalm 16:4 says, \u201cThe sorrows of those who run after another god will multiply.\u201d\u00a0 I began to experience that in my early teens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, August 21<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Being a boy-crazy girl caused a lot of heartache for Paula Hendricks. She visits with us today to share some of her experiences. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You raised four daughters through their teen years; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sure did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I know all four of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>White knuckle time too. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Were any of the four girls\u2014did they go through a phase of being boy-crazy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Behind our backs. Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You were not aware of?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think all four of them somehow, someway found a way to \u201cgo out.\u201d We used to call it going steady\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014with a guy\u2014without us knowing about it. You know, they are probably going to correct me on this; but I seem to recall a good bit of boy-craziness\u2014as parents\u2014just trying to kind of ride it out. I think our guest on today\u2019s broadcast can identify with what I just mentioned. Paula Hendricks joins us. You snuck around; didn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I sure did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, your parents never knew it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Not a clue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ll get to that in a second. Paula Hendricks works for <em>Revive Our Hearts<\/em>\u2122\u2014which is a good friend of ours. Nancy Leigh DeMoss gives leadership to a women\u2019s ministry there. You work in writing and editorial\u2014work on a blog\u2014specifically, for what age group?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Well, my favorite part of the job is blogging for teens on LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Undoubtedly, a lot of your teens get the advice that\u2019s in your book, <em>Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl<\/em>. When did this malady first strike you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Early. I remember lying in bed, night after night, probably as a seven-\/eight-year-old, praying: \u201cGod, please, let me marry Chadwick Chandler Chatterton. Please let me marry Chadwick Chandler Chatterton.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t even say that anymore. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you know where he is?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Well, you know what?\u00a0 I changed the names to protect the innocent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, that\u2019s good.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>So, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, Paula, I can\u2019t help but think that\u2014if you were a boy-crazy girl, back when you were seven\/eight\/nine\u2014how much worse do you think it is today for young ladies, growing up in homes today, because of all the excess of media that they have?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I can\u2019t imagine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know, for me, what really fed it was reading Christian romance novels\u2014which you would think, \u201cOh, that\u2019s completely harmless\u201d; but I would kind of flip ahead to all the really romantic parts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you talking about\u2014because I\u2019m thinking of things like <em>Love Comes Softly<\/em> and those kinds of books. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes; yes. My parents were very careful about what I read\u2014much to my frustration\u2014but they thought Christian books would be fine. But I was just going anywhere I could to kind of feed that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And what was it about those scenes in those novels that you just found thrilling?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>The girl was always loved by the guy; and so, the girl always came out on top. When I was young, I was pretty dorky. I had glasses that covered half my face and were as thick as Krispy Kreme Doughnuts<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. [Laughter] I had to wear super modest\u2014we called them culottes. I just really did not fit in the public school scene. So, I <em>longed<\/em> to be loved and pursued. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And young ladies are told, if they are beautiful, they are going to be liked. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou tell a great story in your book about what happened to you as you were beginning to think of yourself as being beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes, well, I came to believe a couple of lies the day of my eighth-grade field trip. I remember a friend brought in a pair of itty bitty shorts. I tried them on in the bathroom. Four or five times\u2014I would take them off and put them on because I <em>knew<\/em> there was no way on earth my dad would ever let me out of the house in these\u2014but I was at school\u2014so, I thought: \u201cMy parents won\u2019t know. I\u2019ll wear my big jeans over it. Then, when I get on the bus, I\u2019ll take it off.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I did it; and that was the first day that I held hands with a boy. I connected dots and believed: \u201cIf I can just be beautiful enough, then, I\u2019ll be loved.\u201d I also came to believe that being beautiful enough meant showing off my body. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, did you have any qualms of conscience?\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mom and Dad\u2014if they found out, did you go home feeling guilty at night?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Oh, for sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember lying in bed, asking God to forgive me. I thought, \u201cI want to do right, but I can\u2019t!\u201d\u00a0 So, there was no true repentance\u2014which is doing a 180 and returning to God. I was planning on continuing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Tell us about the home you grew up in, from a spiritual perspective.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Were you raised in a home where the parents believed in Jesus Christ and implanted that faith in you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Wow, yes; but it was kind of segregated. There would be times when we would spend time together, as a family, reading the Bible every morning and every evening; and we\u2019d go to church Wednesdays and Sundays. So, we looked very, very spiritual; but I didn\u2019t really get how God had everything to do with my everyday life. It just kind of seemed like: \u201cOkay, now, we go have God time. Okay, now, we go back to real life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And so, how long was it before you would say you were born-again or came into a relationship with Jesus Christ, which ultimately changed your heart?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>It changed everything about me. And you know, I <em>thought <\/em>that I was saved, as a little girl, when I was\u2014I think I was four. I started praying every single night, \u201cJesus, please forgive me for my sins\u201d; <em>but <\/em>I\u2019d never really came to understand the true gospel until my early 20\u2019s. I thought that the gospel was that Jesus died for my sins, and I have to be perfect now and please Him or He will be mad at me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, all the way through adolescence, as you were relating to the opposite sex, you kind of had God parked off \/ segmented into another area of your life. The dating area was pretty much your own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You called your own shots.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Absolutely. I was in control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>What had your mom and dad taught you about boys, and about how you should get along with them, and about when it was appropriate to start dating them?\u00a0 Did you have rules like that, growing up?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>It felt like\u2014to me, at the time\u2014everything was a rule. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just knew I couldn\u2019t date boys. I didn\u2019t really know when I could. There wasn\u2019t a lot of conversation about it. It was just kind of off-limits. Like you said, Dennis, I just found ways to go behind their backs. <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, how old were you at that time when you couldn\u2019t date?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I was probably twelve\/thirteen. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen were my really brutal years as far as dating non-Christians\u2014behind their backs\u2014and finding it to be the way Psalm 16:4 says, \u201cThe sorrows of those who run after another god will multiply.\u201d\u00a0 I began to experience that in my early teens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, I remember the middle school years\u2014the junior high years\u2014because that was, in my life, when paring off started to happen. The cool kids started to have boyfriends and girlfriends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t really care who she is\u2014I would just like a girlfriend.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s kind of the same experience you had; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes, my first boyfriend was a druggie; and I knew it. I didn\u2019t care because he liked me. He actually liked me, when I first had those huge glasses\u2014which just blew me away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, wait, a druggie\u2014how old were you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I was in eighth grade\u2014so, is that twelve?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And how much older was he?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>He was in the same grade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Same grade\u2014and he\u2019s already into drugs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you knew that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did he offer you drugs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>No, just passed notes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you\u2019re going home at night to Mom and Dad, who don\u2019t know anything about this, and you are writing notes or\u2014were you calling each other at night?\u00a0 What was going on?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes\u2014no, my parents were <em>so, so<\/em> strict\u2014so, you couldn\u2019t get much by them. So, it was just when we were at school\u2014we would write notes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think what I want parents to kind of take away here, at the beginning of your story, is that this happens to good kids, who are from good homes. The problem is\u2014you can have a good kid\u2014you shouldn\u2019t forget, though, that his or her heart has a great desire to deceive and go around the rules. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, if the rule is there, more than likely, sin will increase, in a way. I remember growing up in a solid, Christian home; yet, I found ways in junior high \/\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014high school, before I drove, to sneak around and to find a way to go hang out with a crowd I shouldn\u2019t have been with. How long did you date the drug guy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Well, actually, it wasn\u2019t long at all. I think it was a month or three months. Then, what happened was\u2014school came to an end. He ended up calling me; and then, he proceeded to tell me he was afraid he would cheat on me during the summer because he knew he wouldn\u2019t be able to see me. So, even though he loved me\u2014that was the first time I heard those words that I <em>longed<\/em> to hear\u2014\u201cI love you\u201d\u2014he said, \u201cWe need to break up.\u201d\u00a0 So, that was the first of many, many heartbreaks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, he proactively broke up with you so he wouldn\u2019t have to cheat on you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes, wasn\u2019t that good of him?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What did that phone call do to you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Wow!\u00a0 I just remember crying. I remember my parents asking me: \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u00a0 Why are you so sad?\u201d\u00a0 I just said, \u201cOh, I just miss my friends from school\u201d; but of course, it was missing one person in particular. I just couldn\u2019t understand it. I couldn\u2019t understand how I could be so close to the one thing that I thought would make me happy; and then, have it just vanish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, Dennis has written a book for parents of boys called <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>. Were you an aggressive girl?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I wasn\u2019t aggressive in the sense of I never asked someone out; but I was <em>very<\/em> aggressive in using my body, and my non-verbals, and everything that girls learn how to work these days. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You flirted with boys?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Oh, for sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, what\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I was awesome at flirting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What would that\u2014I mean, in the eighth grade, how would you flirt with a boy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I mean, I would borrow my friend\u2019s short shorts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would sit certain ways. You would look at them in certain ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Knowing that there were guys looking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Oh, yes. I remember\u2014something as simple as I would always have a huge smile on my face and laugh out loud because I thought, \u201cI\u2019ll be much more attractive if I look fun.\u201d\u00a0 So, I wasn\u2019t even laughing because I was truly having fun. I was laughing to play a part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting, as I was reading your book, you quickly insert your relationship with your dad and tie a good bit of your boy-craziness to an absence of a relationship with your dad. Explain what was going on there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I really have a great dad. He worked hard for our family. He was home at night, but we just missed each other. I don\u2019t fully understand all the reasons; but he was a very strong man, and I was a very sensitive, emotional girl. So, whenever I would start to cry\u2014which was all the time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I have my Kleenex here just in case I start to cry today. [Laughter] He would tell me to cut it out. So, I felt like I could never be me around my dad. I felt like I always had to be perfect. And that wasn\u2019t who I was. So, there wasn\u2019t a real relationship because I was just trying to be someone I felt like he wanted. I didn\u2019t feel like he loved me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t\u2014it took years for me to learn that different people show love in different ways. My dad is a real servant. He will take care of my car, or he helped me with a book report when I was in eighth grade or ninth grade. But at the time, I missed those. I just wanted him to connect with me, on an emotional level. I never remember him telling me I was beautiful. I <em>longed<\/em> to hear him say that I was beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, that was what I was going to ask you. How would you coach a dad\u2014because now you are blogging\u2014you\u2019re communicating with young ladies, who are growing up, right now\u2014what are some of the things you\u2019ve learned that you would coach dads to do today if they\u2019re raising a daughter? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, they\u2019ve got a younger daughter\u2014maybe, she\u2019s a teenager. What exactly are they looking for from Daddy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Well, I would say to you, father, that you are <em>the <\/em>most important man in your daughter\u2019s life. She really will pick up big clues of who God is based on who you are. So, I would just encourage dads, \u201cMake room for open, honest communication rather than just giving rules, top down, and not allowing any questions back.\u201d\u00a0 I think that is huge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How did that happen in your relationship with your dad?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>There wasn\u2019t room for me to ask questions or to\u2014it was kind of seen as defiant if I would question something. And so, I just learned to stuff it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, but there was a breakthrough. You did have a breakthrough with your dad, later on in college. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>I did. I just praise the Lord for that. I don\u2019t know what it was, but I guess something about moving out of the house and getting a little distance. Then, my dad would come pick me up from college because I didn\u2019t have a car. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe would drive me back home. We just had, for the first time in our lives, like really good conversations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the Lord was beginning to teach me how to respect my dad because there was a whole lot of rolling my eyes and letting him know, through my non-verbals, that I really didn\u2019t respect him or agree. So, I am so grateful for the work that God has done. I love my dad today, and he does a great job of loving me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you sat down to write this book, part of the <em>Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl<\/em> was confession about this relationship with your dad. You and he had to have some long talks before you wrote this, or as you were writing it, because you were about to go public with some of this; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. I actually, probably, deliberated over Chapter 2 more than any other chapter. I worked on every single word, and I prayed over every single word. Then, by faith, I just kind of\u2014and with great fear and trepidation\u2014I sent it to my dad and said: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDad, what do you think of this chapter?\u00a0 If you don\u2019t feel comfortable with it, then, I won\u2019t include it.\u201d\u00a0 Yet, I was praying, \u201cOh, God, please let him be okay with it because I feel like it\u2019s <em>so<\/em> fundamental and critical in the boy-crazy cycle.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just amazed. He ended up writing me back an email, like fifteen minutes later, saying: \u201cLove you\u2014loved this. Love what you are doing.\u201d Something\u2014I was like blown away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You had a trip with your dad that God used to kind of break through the ice and connect you two to one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. We headed down to my aunt and uncle\u2019s to, I think, clean out their barn. So, we were working together that weekend. I am a consummate question-asker, and I felt like my questions\u2014I don\u2019t think my dad understands them. I think they kind of make him uncomfortable. So, I decided not to ask any questions on that trip. It was like such a great trip. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I remember getting back; and I went back to college. He ended up calling me, after that, and asking me some questions, and ending the phone call with \u201cI love you.\u201d I just really felt like the Lord did a lot through that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I used to teach a class to several hundred college students. It was called Christian Single Life. I would give a message about honoring your parents. After that message\u2014the number of young ladies, who would come and stand in line to tell me a story, that had a similar theme but different variations\u2014but the story was basically: \u201cI longed to have my dad tell me he loves me and give me his heart. I don\u2019t want his stuff. I want his time. I want his attention, and I want his affection.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s interesting, in your book, you really tie your lack of getting that from your dad to kind of how you headed off in the wrong direction because you were trying to fill a void in your heart\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that I think, really, Paula\u2014was designed, by God, to be filled by a daddy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes. I struggled a little bit with sharing it because I do agree that dads are so critical in this; and yet, I also\u2014I love these verses in Acts 16:26, 27\u2014where it talks about God, not only creating us, but then, choosing where we would live on the face of the earth, and determining our periods and our boundaries of our dwelling place\u2014which I think includes, not only where we are going to live, but <em>who <\/em>we\u2019re going to live with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt says\u2014this is the reason why He does it\u2014\u201cThat they should seek God and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him.\u201d\u00a0 I feel like, ultimately, in the end, while there were so many nights where I would cry into my pillow and beat my pillow with just anger and frustration over my relationship with my dad\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I feel like, ultimately, it was a gift because it was what drove me to God because I wasn\u2019t finding what I wanted in my dad. <br><br>So, to girls, who don\u2019t have that father relationship they long for, I just want to encourage you that, ultimately, this can be a gift to drive you to your Heavenly Father\u2014just want to encourage you that He\u2019s not like your earthly father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, and to not quit or to give up on your dad because those connections can be reinstated in the relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>For sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ve got one thing I want you to do before we\u2019re done here on the broadcast. I want Bob to explain to our listeners how they can get a copy of your book, but I\u2019m going to ask you to grab your Kleenex\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Okay. Oh no!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I\u2019m going to ask you\u2014I\u2019m going to give you a few moments to think about this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but I\u2019m going to give you a chance, here on national radio, to seat your dad across the table from you and to tell him how much he means to you today. Will you do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Yes, I will. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>While you\u2019re thinking about that, let me let our listeners know that we have copies of your book, <em>Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center\u2014great book for a mom to go through with a young teen girl\u2014great book for any young woman to read as she thinks about \u201cHow do I live a life where God is my focus and where the attention of boys is not an encumbrance to me \/ not an idol to me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com if you\u2019d like to order a copy of Paula Hendricks\u2019 book, <em>Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey From Neediness to Freedom<\/em>. You can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d The book is right there. Or you can call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that we have a number of resources that speak to this issue for parents: the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> resource; Dennis, your book\u2014<em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is just a lot of material available. So, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and check it out. Again, click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d The information you need about the resources will be right there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, of course, you and I are getting ready to head to Portland, Oregon, Dennis. We\u2019ve got the <em>I Still Do<\/em><em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em> one-day event for couples happening there on Saturday. Really excited about getting to go up and to, once again, be with Dr. Al Mohler, and Crawford and Karen Loritts, and David Nasser, and Shaunti Feldhahn, and Ron Deal, and everybody who is going to be out for that event. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m excited about getting a chance to personally say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those listeners who are donors to the ministry of FamilyLife\u2014those of you who are Legacy Partners and donate each month or those of you who get in touch with us, from time to time, and let us know that you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We appreciate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are about to wrap up our fiscal year. This month is when we close the books on one year and start a brand-new year. Of course, we are hoping that we can end our fiscal year in a healthy financial position. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo do that, we want to ask our listeners to consider going to FamilyLifeToday.com today and making a generous fiscal yearend contribution to support this ministry. All you have to do is click the link in the upper right-hand corner of our homepage at FamilyLifeToday.com. The link says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can make an online donation. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Or you can write a check and mail it to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you get in touch with us to make a donation, we want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by making available some activity cards with some great ideas for activities you can do, as a family, that will help cultivate your child\u2019s faith. Again, that\u2019s our thank-you gift when you help support the ministry. We do appreciate your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I hope listeners will get a copy of Paula\u2019s book, <em>Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl<\/em>. Paula, it\u2019s been a treat to have you on the broadcast today and kind of hear your story of your relationship with your dad and how God ultimately redeemed it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI told you to grab a Kleenex because I know you took a risk by writing in a couple of chapters about your relationship with your dad and how everything wasn\u2019t perfect and wasn\u2019t right. That kind of spun you off in a direction, but you\u2019re a young lady now\u2014a woman. I know that dads listen to adult children and their words today as never before. I\u2019d like to just give you a chance to say to your dad what he means to you today and just address him in first person\u2014just speak to him\u2014and pretend Bob and I aren\u2019t here; okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paula: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, Dad, hey, it\u2019s me. And Dennis wanted me to pick up a Kleenex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did get teary when he asked me to talk to you. I just want to say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for putting up with me for all those years\u2014for being patient with my eye-rolling and my sighing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for driving past Dairy Queen<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> at night to make sure that I was really there and keeping a very, very close eye on me because, even though I hated it at the time, I hate to think of what I would have done if you had given me free reign and the regret that I would carry today, that I don\u2019t have to live with, because you were protective. So, I am very grateful for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that our relationship isn\u2019t perfect. It\u2019s still a journey, but I really couldn\u2019t ask for a better dad. I know that I live a few hours away from you\u2014and I\u2019ve got great Christian men in my life who take care of me\u2014but I just fully believe this and want you to know that I need you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will never stop needing you\u2014and not just for giving me advice about my car\u2014but I need you just to keep loving me. [Emotion in voice] I can\u2019t tell you how much it means whenever I see on my phone that \u201cDad\u2019s calling.\u201d I can\u2019t tell you how much it means whenever you pray for me after I share what I\u2019m struggling with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not perfect, and you\u2019re not perfect; but we have a perfect God who brings beauty out of brokenness. I trust Him to continue to do that, and I thank Him for you. I love you lots!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303167"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303167"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303167"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303167"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}