{"id":303157,"date":"2014-08-14T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-08-14T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/an-unexpected-love\/"},"modified":"2014-08-14T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-08-14T15:00:00","slug":"an-unexpected-love","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/an-unexpected-love\/","title":{"rendered":"An Unexpected Love"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bill and Evelyn Thompson talk about their first phone call and the launch of their budding romance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-14.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.24M","filesize_raw":"26463357","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2859,2894],"tags":[4820,5395,5394,2732,5276,4282],"podcast_series":[8031],"cwp_profile":[9351,3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303157","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-and-preparing-for-marriage","category-stepfamily-living","tag-cancer","tag-loss-of-spouse","tag-nasa","tag-remarriage","tag-stepfamilies","tag-widow","podcast_series-the-realities-of-remarriage","cwp_profile-bill-and-evelyn-thompson","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303157\/an-unexpected-love","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303157\/an-unexpected-love","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"1nImlFYsBA\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/an-unexpected-love\/\">An Unexpected Love<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/an-unexpected-love\/embed\/#?secret=1nImlFYsBA\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;An Unexpected Love&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"1nImlFYsBA\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-14.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-14.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There came a time after Evelyn Husband had become a widow when she started to develop strong feelings for a new man\u2014a man who would eventually become her husband, Bill. She was surprised by those feelings but maybe more surprised by the way family and friends responded to her interest in someone else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>When Bill and I started dating, it was incredible to have someone that I could physically connect with again and pray with and love. So, it was just very exciting. Amongst our friends, they were very happy for us; but within our family, I did not appreciate at all the depth of the loss. It was very confusing to me why the reaction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, August 14<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. When a couple is blending a family, they have to realize that it\u2019s not just the new husband and wife who are involved in forging a new bond. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk about that today with Evelyn and Bill Thompson. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, one of the verses in the Bible that is one of my favorites is a verse in Isaiah that says that God makes beauty from ashes. That\u2019s a verse that just speaks to the fact that God is a God who takes whatever mess there is and He can do something beautiful with that mess. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Even when it seems hopeless and grief is paralyzing. I think God delights in bringing hope. We\u2019re listening, this week, to a great story about Bill and Evelyn Thompson, who join us on the broadcast. Bill, Evelyn, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They have been sharing a bit of how God brought them together out of Bill\u2019s loss of his wife and Evelyn\u2019s loss of her husband. We\u2019re also joined by Ron Deal, who heads up FamilyLife\u2019s Blended Initiative\u2014and is the proud author of a new book called <em>The Remarriage Checkup<\/em>\u2014great book for helping those who do find themselves in a blended or a remarriage situation. Ron\u2014welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Thank you. I\u2019m glad to be here. I should mention that Evelyn wrote the foreword to this book, <em>The Remarriage Checkup<\/em>. That\u2019s very special to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I have to tell you all, it is striking as we\u2019ve heard you share your story\u2014Bill you talked about a 13-year journey with your wife, Margie, as she battled breast cancer before she finally died in 2007. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvelyn, your loss of your husband, Rick Husband, was very public because we were all aware of the space shuttle, <em>Columbia<\/em>, disaster that happened on February 1, 2003. I\u2019m just curious, Bill, where were you when you heard about the <em>Columbia<\/em> disaster?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Well, I was in Washington, DC, after being out of the country for three weeks, doing some in-depth work for NCIS by the United States Navy\u2014mobilized after 9\/11. Margie called and strictly just came out and asked, \u201cDo you think Rick\u2019s okay?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWhat are we talking about?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cThe space shuttle.\u201d\u00a0 So, I immediately turned on the TV and saw the picture\u2014that was probably the front page of most newspapers\u2014of the beautiful star lights scattered across the sky. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You went to church with Rick and Evelyn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Yes, we were members out at Grace Community. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMargie and I were out there for approximately 22\/23 years. My kids grew up there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In Houston?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>In Houston. Evelyn and Rick and Laura and Matthew\u2014I still remember working back in the children\u2019s department and seeing a little boy stand up with the brightest blonde hair. I can remember his image, although I didn\u2019t know his name, at the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you were part of the community that grieved, right along with Evelyn\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014the spiritual community\u2014because, Evelyn, the church really came around you in a profound way when Rick died; didn\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>They did. It was amazing. I felt very protected and very shepherded. It was something that happened so quickly, and people responded just as quickly. My pastor, at the time, at Grace Community Church, Steve Riggle, was phenomenal at navigating me through this firestorm of media attention and all that came with it because it was so public. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey stood like soldiers around me\u2014protecting me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Evelyn, you went to church, obviously, with Bill and his wife. Do you remember her passing and the church coming alongside him as well?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>Very much so. In fact, I remember when Margie passed away\u2014Margie and I worked in children\u2019s ministry together. Their son, actually, was Laura\u2019s teacher when Rick died. So, our families had all intersected. I knew their daughter as well. She worked in children\u2019s ministry. So, Bill was the only one in the family\u2014and I knew he belonged to them, but we had never really had a conversation before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen Margie passed away, I got an email saying that Margie had passed and made the effort to contact them to express my condolences. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>When she called, she actually had called to talk to Corey, who is my son. I guess, during the conversation, she said, \u201cIs your dad around?\u201d\u00a0 Corey handed me the phone. Evelyn came across and just basically said: \u201cHi, Bill. This is Evelyn Husband. I just want you to know I\u2019ve been down this path of loss for five years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIt\u2019s okay if you need to reach out and call me or if you\u2019d like to talk to me about the loss that you are going through right now. Maybe we can get a cup of coffee, or you can just call.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, she had no idea what your wife had told you, as she was preparing to die?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>None at all. And I had\u2014that was completely gone again out of my mind. When I walked out of the door that day, it was like it was slammed shut for\u2014\u201cThis is going to be brought back to your memory in the future, but not right now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Remind our listeners what your wife had said to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Well, my wife had basically told me, two months before she passed\u2014we were back in our bedroom. She was just telling me: \u201cYou know, Bill, you\u2019re young. You\u2019ll probably want to get remarried again, but wait a week or two after I\u2019m gone.\u201d\u00a0 So, there was a little chuckle. As I turned to walk out of the room, she said, \u201cI have someone of special interest for you.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cEvelyn Husband.\u201d\u00a0 I walked out and just\u2014she said, \u201cJust think about it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Evelyn, I\u2019m curious, that call where you said, \u201cIf you ever need somebody to talk to,\u201d I\u2019m assuming that was simply a gesture of goodwill on your part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>It was. I knew Bill just a little bit. I knew his children better, and I knew that it would be difficult. It was funny because\u2014I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve ever shared this with you\u2014but when I got off the phone, I thought, \u201cI hope that was okay for me to offer that.\u201d\u00a0 I just had a little check in my spirit. Even though Margie had just passed, I wasn\u2019t trying to be forward in any way but just wanted to offer that if you wanted to talk because talking about it is a very helpful thing to get through it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when did you get together for a cup of coffee for the first time?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Well, I guess it was a week or so later that I called her and just said, \u201cWould you like to get a bite to eat?\u201d\u00a0 We went to a restaurant, The Flying Dutchman, down in Kemah which is\u2014I don\u2019t know\u201420 minutes or so from our house. We met; and we talked, and we talked\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and four-and-a-half hours later\u2014we had talked about our spouses, back and forth. It was just kind of helping me, I guess, realize this loss. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And so, when did you say to her\u2014or tell her\u2014of your wife\u2019s prophetic charge to you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>We ended up\u2014another four or five days\u2014this would be around July 4<sup>th<\/sup>. I got four tickets to go see the Astros, which is a pretty easy ticket to get. [Laughter]\u00a0 Well, my cousin had four real nice box seats and just said, \u201cHey, Bill, would you like these?\u201d\u00a0 I think he was probably thinking, \u201cYou can get Corey and Cassi\u201d\u2014my kids\u2014\u201cto go.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I asked my kids, they were kind of had some things they\u2014\u201cWe could go, Dad; but we have something going on, but let us know. Maybe we can change our plans.\u201d\u00a0 For whatever reason, Evelyn just kind of popped into my mind. I just thought about her kids\u2014about just going to a baseball game. It was a really, really enjoyable game because I had Matthew on one side of me and Evelyn on the other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMatthew was about 11 years old at the time. It brought me back to\u2014all of a sudden, I am back in pee-wee baseball\u2014and I\u2019ve got my best buddy talking to me\u2014just talking about baseball. We just kind of connected\u2014and seeing the guys that were out there\u2014this was back when we still had Biggio, Bagwell, and Berkman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The \u201cKiller B\u2019s\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>The \u201cKiller B\u2019s\u201d\u2014yes. [Laughter]\u00a0 And on my other side, with Evelyn, it was really odd. You\u2019re at a baseball game. Your seats are kind of close together. It\u2019s kind of like flying Southwest. [Laughter]\u00a0 There\u2019s just not quite enough room for everybody to fit in that row. <br><br>So, we\u2019re sitting there. I noticed every time I nudged\u2014our shoulders kind of popped together. There was like a charge. I didn\u2019t say anything until I called her a few days later. I said: \u201cLook, I am not weird, but I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014I felt something going on there.\u201d\u00a0 And she said, \u201cYou felt it too?\u201d\u00a0 And I just thought, \u201cWow.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, after we stepped back and looked at it, it was almost like God wanted to let us know: \u201cYou\u2019re not going to go through a long-term chance to know each other. There\u2019s\u2014something is going to happen here. Something is going to happen very quickly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is maybe\u2014what?\u2014six weeks \/ eight weeks after your wife died?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>It\u2019s more like four or five\u2014five\/six weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, I want to turn to Ron Deal, at this point, and say: \u201cIf this couple had come to you\u2014and you knew their grief stories \/ their loss stories\u2014and they said, \u2018Hey, we went to the baseball game the other night and there was just this charge going on,\u2019 what counsel would you have given them?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>You know, I probably would have said, \u201cSlow down.\u201d I probably would have. I do want to add here the comment though\u2014that Bill\u2019s grieving started 13 years prior to this. I think that\u2019s really important for people to understand\u2014that when you have a terminal situation and you know it\u2019s coming\u2014even though you never know exactly when and it\u2019s not real until it\u2019s real\u2014in some ways, you do begin that grieving process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it had not just been four weeks. It had been much longer than that. Now, it might have only been four weeks for his kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u2014which creates some natural gap between you and them, I would think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>It did. Later, from\u2014I guess\u2014in late August, we ended up making a trip to England. I had to meet Angus Hogg. Angus was Rick\u2019s best friend, and I had to pass muster\u2014not that you\u2019re in the Navy. We have to go to another country to pass muster on all this: \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u00a0 Who is Bill Thompson, and what is he all about?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one of the things Angus ended up telling us\u2014during the trip and about our marriage, whether it was right then\u2014but I did want to introduce his name into our conversation. Angus said: \u201cYou might want to slow down a bit and determine, \u2018Who do you want in your wake?\u2019\u00a0 You guys are a new ship out there. Who do you want close in to you?\u2014because, if you are going too fast, you\u2019re going to leave a lot of people behind.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn a way, that\u2019s kind of what we experienced. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there was an area I could go back in time, it would be to comfort my kids, and be able to spend time with them, and help walk them through. I felt, for some reason, I guess\u2014maybe my age\u2014there was urgency. There was an urgency of what I saw going on in Evelyn\u2019s life\u2014of two young kids who were fatherless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Bob asked me the question. Let me ask both of you the question: \u201cSo, if you were talking to a couple, who had come together rather quickly and was thinking about marriage, what would you caution them\u2014what would you say to them, as it relates to their children?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>I know, with my children, it was very challenging as well. The same baseball game\u2014Laura was very stressed that Bill and I were going on a date. Matthew was just excited to go to a baseball game. So, he said, \u201cWho cares?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cJust take me to the baseball game.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But I would advise to not throw your kids under the bus\u2014to just really have conversations with them\u2014and understand that every body\u2019s grief journey is unique. So, what you might be feeling with the loss of a spouse\u2014a child might be feeling something completely different. Just try to stay in touch with that as much as you possibly can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, this is not simply an equation where one plus one come together to make a new family; but this is a situation where one plus one with two on your side and two on your side are coming together\u2014all with their own processing of grief\u2014your kids for five years \/ your kids for a few weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Yes. Looking back again, it is\u2014I think Evelyn chose the words wisely\u2014\u201cDon\u2019t throw your kids under the bus.\u201d\u00a0 Don\u2019t expect them to have the same feelings that you have, going into this. Instead of hanging up my cleats\u2014if I could use that as a proverbial jock\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014there was a whole another life getting ready to open up and happen, and it was happening quickly. And there wasn\u2019t a script out there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>You know, I\u2019m struck by two things. You had 13 years of your wife passing away\u2014that journey towards her death. So, when it came, you were prepared, at least, in some ways. So, that grieving process had begun, and you had her blessing. She had verbally said to you\u2014not only can you go on and remarry\u2014but \u201cHey, actually, I think I know who;\u201d and now, you had actually connected with Evelyn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth of those things\u2014your children didn\u2019t have. I mean, they didn\u2019t have the same experience of preparing for her death the way you did. They don\u2019t have the maturity to do that, as children. They didn\u2019t have necessarily the same sort of blessing from Mom. She may have prepared them in many ways for life after, but it just leaves you in two different places. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, of course, you get to a wedding\u2014soon after the wedding\u2014and the family is formed. Of course, then, you begin to realize how you\u2019re in a different place from where the kids are. That had to be a difficult time. It had to be a tough moment when you kind of began to maybe have regret. Is that true?\u00a0 Is that fair to say?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>The regret is probably that we didn\u2019t take a little longer to stop and take this all in\u2014even though the way my kids might have responded or even the way Matthew and Laura did. Seeing Cassi and Corey\u2014my children\u2014what they went through and watching this evolve over the next\u2014well, we\u2019ve just celebrated our sixth anniversary\u2014so, we are just now in a place where we\u2019re having to\u2014and I think it\u2019s the dad, for me\u2014to take back the reigns of making sure you\u2019re in contact. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one of the things Evelyn does is\u2014she asks me, every couple of times through a week, \u201cHave you talked to your kids this week?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHave you talked to your kids today?\u00a0 What\u2019s\u2014how are things going?\u201d\u00a0 And they are in a very\u2014this is a very rapid world that we live in. Things are moving about, and there are a lot of moving parts. We\u2019re trying to wrap our hands around just what\u2019s in front of us and to get that quality time with them. It\u2019s so important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I would, Ron, want to go back and say\u2014I would like to have been able to pull off to a side and spend some time with my children and explain what\u2019s happening here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ron, I want you to comment on this because we mentioned earlier\u2014how when two people get married, and it\u2019s their first marriage, it\u2019s all a beginning\u2014but when a couple is kind of mid-story, like both of you were, it\u2019s not just a new beginning. It\u2019s coming out of the midst of the tragedy of two losses. Yet, to the couple, who is getting married\u2014at the point they are starting the new beginning\u2014puppy love is real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it kind of masks the loss and a lot of the emotions that accompany that. Just speak into that if you would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>This book that we are talking about, <em>The Remarriage Checkup<\/em>, and the small group study guide that goes along with it\u2014it\u2019s a great curriculum to help couples really understand that it\u2019s not just about what happens between the two of them. We\u2019ve heard Bill and Evelyn talk about how they came together. It\u2019s a wonderful, romantic, magical moment. At the same time, there are other people around them that experience that relationship in a different way and in a different timing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things we\u2019ve found\u2014this book is based on the largest survey ever done of couples getting married with children. One of the interesting things we found, Dennis, is that seven out of the top twelve stumbling blocks for couples in blended families has <em>nothing<\/em> to do with coupleness\u2014has nothing to do with husband and wife relationship. It has to do with the stuff around them or the past behind them. It has to do with losses. It has to do with grieving. It has to do with children, stepchildren, parenting, stepfamily matters, and ex-spouses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t have that in this particular situation, but many of our listeners do. So, that\u2019s seven of the top twelve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you are only seeing one another, you\u2019re not seeing the whole picture. That\u2019s what we are trying to do with this study and with FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u2122<\/sup>\u2014is preparing people to deal with everything going on around them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, did you write this book with the thought that a couple before they enter into a remarriage go through the material or right after they\u2019ve gotten married?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>It\u2019s both\/and. It really is. The book is written with an understanding\u2014some people are going to read it when they are dating \/ others are going to be already in a married situation. There\u2019s actually a profile built right into the book. You get a voucher at the back of the book that allows you to take this online relationship profile. You get an x-ray of your relationship\u2014what\u2019s strong about it, what\u2019s great, what\u2019s healthy, what you can celebrate. It also flags some things that need some attention in your relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat, in conjunction with the book, really helps people make the next-step decisions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if a dating couple is reading the book, they are going to say: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 We need to pay attention to this, this, and this. Then, we\u2019ll be in a better place to make a decision about marriage.\u201d\u00a0 If a married couple is reading the book, they\u2019re going to be saying: \u201cAh, here is how we can grow. This is what we\u2019ve got going well. Let\u2019s keep paying attention to this. Let\u2019s share this in our small group and find fellowship and support with people at church.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s going to strengthen them for the long journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ron, I want to commend you for writing it for the couple who are dating\u2014who are contemplating marriage. We\u2019ve been doing <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways since 1976. We\u2019ve had over three million people trained at all of our events, and I still think one of the best things we do is take a couple, before they get married, and help them sing off the same song sheet\u2014or another metaphor\u2014help them build off the same set of blueprints. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not that you can\u2019t bring a lot of hope and encouragement to a couple after they\u2019re married; but the tendency\u2014to an engaged couple\u2014is to think: \u201cOh, this will never happen to us. Our emotion will carry the day. It\u2019ll surpass all of the debris that occurs in the losses that are brought into the relationship.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you guys found that the incline in a remarriage was a little steeper than you had anticipated; didn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>The dynamics of it were completely different from what I expected. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And same for you, Bill?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bill: <\/strong>I think so. It\u2019s\u2014take the largest granite or cinder block\u2014and trying to push it up the hill. It, all of a sudden, kind of came out of nowhere\u2014or should I say, \u201cI hadn\u2019t taken that into complete understanding of what all was going to be happening,\u201d\u2014not that you were just going to support, take care of, fall in love with your wife, and have a restart\u2014but you have other people, that are involved, that you <em>must<\/em> take into consideration of their hearts and what they\u2019re experiencing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it really points out the need for why a resource like what Ron has created here is so essential, moving forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, this could be a great course for a couple to go through as they consider remarriage. In fact, there are a number of resources that Ron has developed for remarried couples \/ for blended families. His book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>, has been recently updated and expanded.\u00a0 Of course, we\u2019ve got that in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>The Remarriage Checkup<\/em>, <em>The Smart Stepdad<\/em>, and <em>The Smart Stepmom<\/em> books\u2014all of these are in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out which of these resources would be best for you. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER\u201d\u2014it\u2019s at the top left-side of the screen. It\u2019ll take you right to where you can order these resources from us, online. Or if you\u2019d prefer to order by phone, you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 And if you have any questions about the resources, we\u2019ve got folks here who can help explain which resource might be the right one for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you are involved in ministry to couples, like Bill and Evelyn Thompson\u2014couples who are in a blended marriage or a blended family\u2014and you\u2019d like some additional training \/ some additional help\u2014we have an event coming up on October 3<sup>rd<\/sup>, in Washington, DC. It\u2019s the <em>Blended and Blessed<\/em><em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em> National Summit. Ron Deal is going to be leading that, and there is still space available for those of you who might like to attend this special event in Washington, DC. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s right before we have our <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> event in Washington, DC, which is going to be simulcast to churches, all across the country. So, if\u2014again, if you\u2019d like more information about <em>Blended and Blessed<\/em>, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d The information is available right there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to make sure we say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to the folks who made today\u2019s program possible\u2014our sponsors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually, we don\u2019t have any sponsors\u2014no advertisers\u2014that is. Our sponsors are folks, just like you, who say: \u201cThis program is important for our family. It\u2019s important for our community. We believe in what you guys are doing, and we want to see it continue and thrive and grow.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for those sponsors who will occasionally or monthly make a donation to help support this ministry. We could not do what we do without you. And we appreciate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re approaching our fiscal yearend. August is when we close the books on this year, and we start a new year in September. Of course, we are hoping to close the year in a healthy place, financially. That\u2019s why we want to ask you to consider making a fiscal yearend contribution to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You can do that, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click in the upper right-hand corner of the screen where it says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can make an online donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone. Or you can send your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at Post Office Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. The zip code is 72223. Again, we appreciate your support. Glad to have you as part of the team. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you\u2019ll join us back tomorrow. We\u2019re going to continue our conversation with Bill and Evelyn Thompson as we talk about the challenges they faced blending their family. Hope you can be here for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.24M"],"filesize_raw":["26463357"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303157.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303157.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Evelyn Thompson talk about their first phone call and the launch of their budding romance.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There came a time after Evelyn Husband had become a widow when she started to develop strong feelings for a new man\u2014a man who would eventually become her husband, Bill. She was surprised by those feelings but maybe more surprised by the way family and friends responded to her interest in someone else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>When Bill and I started dating, it was incredible to have someone that I could physically connect with again and pray with and love. So, it was just very exciting. Amongst our friends, they were very happy for us; but within our family, I did not appreciate at all the depth of the loss. It was very confusing to me why the reaction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, August 14<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. When a couple is blending a family, they have to realize that it\u2019s not just the new husband and wife who are involved in forging a new bond. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk about that today with Evelyn and Bill Thompson. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, one of the verses in the Bible that is one of my favorites is a verse in Isaiah that says that God makes beauty from ashes. That\u2019s a verse that just speaks to the fact that God is a God who takes whatever mess there is and He can do something beautiful with that mess. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Even when it seems hopeless and grief is paralyzing. I think God delights in bringing hope. We\u2019re listening, this week, to a great story about Bill and Evelyn Thompson, who join us on the broadcast. Bill, Evelyn, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They have been sharing a bit of how God brought them together out of Bill\u2019s loss of his wife and Evelyn\u2019s loss of her husband. We\u2019re also joined by Ron Deal, who heads up FamilyLife\u2019s Blended Initiative\u2014and is the proud author of a new book called <em>The Remarriage Checkup<\/em>\u2014great book for helping those who do find themselves in a blended or a remarriage situation. Ron\u2014welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Thank you. I\u2019m glad to be here. I should mention that Evelyn wrote the foreword to this book, <em>The Remarriage Checkup<\/em>. That\u2019s very special to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I have to tell you all, it is striking as we\u2019ve heard you share your story\u2014Bill you talked about a 13-year journey with your wife, Margie, as she battled breast cancer before she finally died in 2007. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvelyn, your loss of your husband, Rick Husband, was very public because we were all aware of the space shuttle, <em>Columbia<\/em>, disaster that happened on February 1, 2003. I\u2019m just curious, Bill, where were you when you heard about the <em>Columbia<\/em> disaster?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Well, I was in Washington, DC, after being out of the country for three weeks, doing some in-depth work for NCIS by the United States Navy\u2014mobilized after 9\/11. Margie called and strictly just came out and asked, \u201cDo you think Rick\u2019s okay?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWhat are we talking about?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cThe space shuttle.\u201d\u00a0 So, I immediately turned on the TV and saw the picture\u2014that was probably the front page of most newspapers\u2014of the beautiful star lights scattered across the sky. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You went to church with Rick and Evelyn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Yes, we were members out at Grace Community. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMargie and I were out there for approximately 22\/23 years. My kids grew up there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In Houston?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>In Houston. Evelyn and Rick and Laura and Matthew\u2014I still remember working back in the children\u2019s department and seeing a little boy stand up with the brightest blonde hair. I can remember his image, although I didn\u2019t know his name, at the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you were part of the community that grieved, right along with Evelyn\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014the spiritual community\u2014because, Evelyn, the church really came around you in a profound way when Rick died; didn\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>They did. It was amazing. I felt very protected and very shepherded. It was something that happened so quickly, and people responded just as quickly. My pastor, at the time, at Grace Community Church, Steve Riggle, was phenomenal at navigating me through this firestorm of media attention and all that came with it because it was so public. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey stood like soldiers around me\u2014protecting me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Evelyn, you went to church, obviously, with Bill and his wife. Do you remember her passing and the church coming alongside him as well?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>Very much so. In fact, I remember when Margie passed away\u2014Margie and I worked in children\u2019s ministry together. Their son, actually, was Laura\u2019s teacher when Rick died. So, our families had all intersected. I knew their daughter as well. She worked in children\u2019s ministry. So, Bill was the only one in the family\u2014and I knew he belonged to them, but we had never really had a conversation before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen Margie passed away, I got an email saying that Margie had passed and made the effort to contact them to express my condolences. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>When she called, she actually had called to talk to Corey, who is my son. I guess, during the conversation, she said, \u201cIs your dad around?\u201d\u00a0 Corey handed me the phone. Evelyn came across and just basically said: \u201cHi, Bill. This is Evelyn Husband. I just want you to know I\u2019ve been down this path of loss for five years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIt\u2019s okay if you need to reach out and call me or if you\u2019d like to talk to me about the loss that you are going through right now. Maybe we can get a cup of coffee, or you can just call.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, she had no idea what your wife had told you, as she was preparing to die?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>None at all. And I had\u2014that was completely gone again out of my mind. When I walked out of the door that day, it was like it was slammed shut for\u2014\u201cThis is going to be brought back to your memory in the future, but not right now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Remind our listeners what your wife had said to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Well, my wife had basically told me, two months before she passed\u2014we were back in our bedroom. She was just telling me: \u201cYou know, Bill, you\u2019re young. You\u2019ll probably want to get remarried again, but wait a week or two after I\u2019m gone.\u201d\u00a0 So, there was a little chuckle. As I turned to walk out of the room, she said, \u201cI have someone of special interest for you.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cEvelyn Husband.\u201d\u00a0 I walked out and just\u2014she said, \u201cJust think about it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Evelyn, I\u2019m curious, that call where you said, \u201cIf you ever need somebody to talk to,\u201d I\u2019m assuming that was simply a gesture of goodwill on your part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>It was. I knew Bill just a little bit. I knew his children better, and I knew that it would be difficult. It was funny because\u2014I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve ever shared this with you\u2014but when I got off the phone, I thought, \u201cI hope that was okay for me to offer that.\u201d\u00a0 I just had a little check in my spirit. Even though Margie had just passed, I wasn\u2019t trying to be forward in any way but just wanted to offer that if you wanted to talk because talking about it is a very helpful thing to get through it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when did you get together for a cup of coffee for the first time?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Well, I guess it was a week or so later that I called her and just said, \u201cWould you like to get a bite to eat?\u201d\u00a0 We went to a restaurant, The Flying Dutchman, down in Kemah which is\u2014I don\u2019t know\u201420 minutes or so from our house. We met; and we talked, and we talked\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and four-and-a-half hours later\u2014we had talked about our spouses, back and forth. It was just kind of helping me, I guess, realize this loss. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And so, when did you say to her\u2014or tell her\u2014of your wife\u2019s prophetic charge to you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>We ended up\u2014another four or five days\u2014this would be around July 4<sup>th<\/sup>. I got four tickets to go see the Astros, which is a pretty easy ticket to get. [Laughter]\u00a0 Well, my cousin had four real nice box seats and just said, \u201cHey, Bill, would you like these?\u201d\u00a0 I think he was probably thinking, \u201cYou can get Corey and Cassi\u201d\u2014my kids\u2014\u201cto go.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I asked my kids, they were kind of had some things they\u2014\u201cWe could go, Dad; but we have something going on, but let us know. Maybe we can change our plans.\u201d\u00a0 For whatever reason, Evelyn just kind of popped into my mind. I just thought about her kids\u2014about just going to a baseball game. It was a really, really enjoyable game because I had Matthew on one side of me and Evelyn on the other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMatthew was about 11 years old at the time. It brought me back to\u2014all of a sudden, I am back in pee-wee baseball\u2014and I\u2019ve got my best buddy talking to me\u2014just talking about baseball. We just kind of connected\u2014and seeing the guys that were out there\u2014this was back when we still had Biggio, Bagwell, and Berkman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The \u201cKiller B\u2019s\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>The \u201cKiller B\u2019s\u201d\u2014yes. [Laughter]\u00a0 And on my other side, with Evelyn, it was really odd. You\u2019re at a baseball game. Your seats are kind of close together. It\u2019s kind of like flying Southwest. [Laughter]\u00a0 There\u2019s just not quite enough room for everybody to fit in that row. <br><br>So, we\u2019re sitting there. I noticed every time I nudged\u2014our shoulders kind of popped together. There was like a charge. I didn\u2019t say anything until I called her a few days later. I said: \u201cLook, I am not weird, but I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014I felt something going on there.\u201d\u00a0 And she said, \u201cYou felt it too?\u201d\u00a0 And I just thought, \u201cWow.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, after we stepped back and looked at it, it was almost like God wanted to let us know: \u201cYou\u2019re not going to go through a long-term chance to know each other. There\u2019s\u2014something is going to happen here. Something is going to happen very quickly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is maybe\u2014what?\u2014six weeks \/ eight weeks after your wife died?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>It\u2019s more like four or five\u2014five\/six weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, I want to turn to Ron Deal, at this point, and say: \u201cIf this couple had come to you\u2014and you knew their grief stories \/ their loss stories\u2014and they said, \u2018Hey, we went to the baseball game the other night and there was just this charge going on,\u2019 what counsel would you have given them?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>You know, I probably would have said, \u201cSlow down.\u201d I probably would have. I do want to add here the comment though\u2014that Bill\u2019s grieving started 13 years prior to this. I think that\u2019s really important for people to understand\u2014that when you have a terminal situation and you know it\u2019s coming\u2014even though you never know exactly when and it\u2019s not real until it\u2019s real\u2014in some ways, you do begin that grieving process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it had not just been four weeks. It had been much longer than that. Now, it might have only been four weeks for his kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u2014which creates some natural gap between you and them, I would think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>It did. Later, from\u2014I guess\u2014in late August, we ended up making a trip to England. I had to meet Angus Hogg. Angus was Rick\u2019s best friend, and I had to pass muster\u2014not that you\u2019re in the Navy. We have to go to another country to pass muster on all this: \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u00a0 Who is Bill Thompson, and what is he all about?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one of the things Angus ended up telling us\u2014during the trip and about our marriage, whether it was right then\u2014but I did want to introduce his name into our conversation. Angus said: \u201cYou might want to slow down a bit and determine, \u2018Who do you want in your wake?\u2019\u00a0 You guys are a new ship out there. Who do you want close in to you?\u2014because, if you are going too fast, you\u2019re going to leave a lot of people behind.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn a way, that\u2019s kind of what we experienced. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there was an area I could go back in time, it would be to comfort my kids, and be able to spend time with them, and help walk them through. I felt, for some reason, I guess\u2014maybe my age\u2014there was urgency. There was an urgency of what I saw going on in Evelyn\u2019s life\u2014of two young kids who were fatherless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Bob asked me the question. Let me ask both of you the question: \u201cSo, if you were talking to a couple, who had come together rather quickly and was thinking about marriage, what would you caution them\u2014what would you say to them, as it relates to their children?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>I know, with my children, it was very challenging as well. The same baseball game\u2014Laura was very stressed that Bill and I were going on a date. Matthew was just excited to go to a baseball game. So, he said, \u201cWho cares?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cJust take me to the baseball game.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But I would advise to not throw your kids under the bus\u2014to just really have conversations with them\u2014and understand that every body\u2019s grief journey is unique. So, what you might be feeling with the loss of a spouse\u2014a child might be feeling something completely different. Just try to stay in touch with that as much as you possibly can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, this is not simply an equation where one plus one come together to make a new family; but this is a situation where one plus one with two on your side and two on your side are coming together\u2014all with their own processing of grief\u2014your kids for five years \/ your kids for a few weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Yes. Looking back again, it is\u2014I think Evelyn chose the words wisely\u2014\u201cDon\u2019t throw your kids under the bus.\u201d\u00a0 Don\u2019t expect them to have the same feelings that you have, going into this. Instead of hanging up my cleats\u2014if I could use that as a proverbial jock\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014there was a whole another life getting ready to open up and happen, and it was happening quickly. And there wasn\u2019t a script out there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>You know, I\u2019m struck by two things. You had 13 years of your wife passing away\u2014that journey towards her death. So, when it came, you were prepared, at least, in some ways. So, that grieving process had begun, and you had her blessing. She had verbally said to you\u2014not only can you go on and remarry\u2014but \u201cHey, actually, I think I know who;\u201d and now, you had actually connected with Evelyn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth of those things\u2014your children didn\u2019t have. I mean, they didn\u2019t have the same experience of preparing for her death the way you did. They don\u2019t have the maturity to do that, as children. They didn\u2019t have necessarily the same sort of blessing from Mom. She may have prepared them in many ways for life after, but it just leaves you in two different places. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, of course, you get to a wedding\u2014soon after the wedding\u2014and the family is formed. Of course, then, you begin to realize how you\u2019re in a different place from where the kids are. That had to be a difficult time. It had to be a tough moment when you kind of began to maybe have regret. Is that true?\u00a0 Is that fair to say?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>The regret is probably that we didn\u2019t take a little longer to stop and take this all in\u2014even though the way my kids might have responded or even the way Matthew and Laura did. Seeing Cassi and Corey\u2014my children\u2014what they went through and watching this evolve over the next\u2014well, we\u2019ve just celebrated our sixth anniversary\u2014so, we are just now in a place where we\u2019re having to\u2014and I think it\u2019s the dad, for me\u2014to take back the reigns of making sure you\u2019re in contact. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one of the things Evelyn does is\u2014she asks me, every couple of times through a week, \u201cHave you talked to your kids this week?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHave you talked to your kids today?\u00a0 What\u2019s\u2014how are things going?\u201d\u00a0 And they are in a very\u2014this is a very rapid world that we live in. Things are moving about, and there are a lot of moving parts. We\u2019re trying to wrap our hands around just what\u2019s in front of us and to get that quality time with them. It\u2019s so important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I would, Ron, want to go back and say\u2014I would like to have been able to pull off to a side and spend some time with my children and explain what\u2019s happening here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ron, I want you to comment on this because we mentioned earlier\u2014how when two people get married, and it\u2019s their first marriage, it\u2019s all a beginning\u2014but when a couple is kind of mid-story, like both of you were, it\u2019s not just a new beginning. It\u2019s coming out of the midst of the tragedy of two losses. Yet, to the couple, who is getting married\u2014at the point they are starting the new beginning\u2014puppy love is real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it kind of masks the loss and a lot of the emotions that accompany that. Just speak into that if you would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>This book that we are talking about, <em>The Remarriage Checkup<\/em>, and the small group study guide that goes along with it\u2014it\u2019s a great curriculum to help couples really understand that it\u2019s not just about what happens between the two of them. We\u2019ve heard Bill and Evelyn talk about how they came together. It\u2019s a wonderful, romantic, magical moment. At the same time, there are other people around them that experience that relationship in a different way and in a different timing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things we\u2019ve found\u2014this book is based on the largest survey ever done of couples getting married with children. One of the interesting things we found, Dennis, is that seven out of the top twelve stumbling blocks for couples in blended families has <em>nothing<\/em> to do with coupleness\u2014has nothing to do with husband and wife relationship. It has to do with the stuff around them or the past behind them. It has to do with losses. It has to do with grieving. It has to do with children, stepchildren, parenting, stepfamily matters, and ex-spouses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t have that in this particular situation, but many of our listeners do. So, that\u2019s seven of the top twelve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you are only seeing one another, you\u2019re not seeing the whole picture. That\u2019s what we are trying to do with this study and with FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u2122<\/sup>\u2014is preparing people to deal with everything going on around them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, did you write this book with the thought that a couple before they enter into a remarriage go through the material or right after they\u2019ve gotten married?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>It\u2019s both\/and. It really is. The book is written with an understanding\u2014some people are going to read it when they are dating \/ others are going to be already in a married situation. There\u2019s actually a profile built right into the book. You get a voucher at the back of the book that allows you to take this online relationship profile. You get an x-ray of your relationship\u2014what\u2019s strong about it, what\u2019s great, what\u2019s healthy, what you can celebrate. It also flags some things that need some attention in your relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat, in conjunction with the book, really helps people make the next-step decisions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if a dating couple is reading the book, they are going to say: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 We need to pay attention to this, this, and this. Then, we\u2019ll be in a better place to make a decision about marriage.\u201d\u00a0 If a married couple is reading the book, they\u2019re going to be saying: \u201cAh, here is how we can grow. This is what we\u2019ve got going well. Let\u2019s keep paying attention to this. Let\u2019s share this in our small group and find fellowship and support with people at church.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s going to strengthen them for the long journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ron, I want to commend you for writing it for the couple who are dating\u2014who are contemplating marriage. We\u2019ve been doing <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways since 1976. We\u2019ve had over three million people trained at all of our events, and I still think one of the best things we do is take a couple, before they get married, and help them sing off the same song sheet\u2014or another metaphor\u2014help them build off the same set of blueprints. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not that you can\u2019t bring a lot of hope and encouragement to a couple after they\u2019re married; but the tendency\u2014to an engaged couple\u2014is to think: \u201cOh, this will never happen to us. Our emotion will carry the day. It\u2019ll surpass all of the debris that occurs in the losses that are brought into the relationship.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you guys found that the incline in a remarriage was a little steeper than you had anticipated; didn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Evelyn: <\/strong>The dynamics of it were completely different from what I expected. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And same for you, Bill?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bill: <\/strong>I think so. It\u2019s\u2014take the largest granite or cinder block\u2014and trying to push it up the hill. It, all of a sudden, kind of came out of nowhere\u2014or should I say, \u201cI hadn\u2019t taken that into complete understanding of what all was going to be happening,\u201d\u2014not that you were just going to support, take care of, fall in love with your wife, and have a restart\u2014but you have other people, that are involved, that you <em>must<\/em> take into consideration of their hearts and what they\u2019re experiencing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it really points out the need for why a resource like what Ron has created here is so essential, moving forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, this could be a great course for a couple to go through as they consider remarriage. In fact, there are a number of resources that Ron has developed for remarried couples \/ for blended families. His book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>, has been recently updated and expanded.\u00a0 Of course, we\u2019ve got that in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>The Remarriage Checkup<\/em>, <em>The Smart Stepdad<\/em>, and <em>The Smart Stepmom<\/em> books\u2014all of these are in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out which of these resources would be best for you. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER\u201d\u2014it\u2019s at the top left-side of the screen. It\u2019ll take you right to where you can order these resources from us, online. Or if you\u2019d prefer to order by phone, you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 And if you have any questions about the resources, we\u2019ve got folks here who can help explain which resource might be the right one for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you are involved in ministry to couples, like Bill and Evelyn Thompson\u2014couples who are in a blended marriage or a blended family\u2014and you\u2019d like some additional training \/ some additional help\u2014we have an event coming up on October 3<sup>rd<\/sup>, in Washington, DC. It\u2019s the <em>Blended and Blessed<\/em><em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em> National Summit. Ron Deal is going to be leading that, and there is still space available for those of you who might like to attend this special event in Washington, DC. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s right before we have our <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> event in Washington, DC, which is going to be simulcast to churches, all across the country. So, if\u2014again, if you\u2019d like more information about <em>Blended and Blessed<\/em>, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d The information is available right there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to make sure we say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to the folks who made today\u2019s program possible\u2014our sponsors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually, we don\u2019t have any sponsors\u2014no advertisers\u2014that is. Our sponsors are folks, just like you, who say: \u201cThis program is important for our family. It\u2019s important for our community. We believe in what you guys are doing, and we want to see it continue and thrive and grow.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for those sponsors who will occasionally or monthly make a donation to help support this ministry. We could not do what we do without you. And we appreciate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re approaching our fiscal yearend. August is when we close the books on this year, and we start a new year in September. Of course, we are hoping to close the year in a healthy place, financially. That\u2019s why we want to ask you to consider making a fiscal yearend contribution to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You can do that, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click in the upper right-hand corner of the screen where it says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can make an online donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone. Or you can send your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at Post Office Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. The zip code is 72223. Again, we appreciate your support. Glad to have you as part of the team. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you\u2019ll join us back tomorrow. We\u2019re going to continue our conversation with Bill and Evelyn Thompson as we talk about the challenges they faced blending their family. Hope you can be here for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303157"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303157"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303157"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303157"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}