{"id":303153,"date":"2014-08-05T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-08-05T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/have-to-do-should-do-want-to-do\/"},"modified":"2014-08-05T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-08-05T15:00:00","slug":"have-to-do-should-do-want-to-do","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/have-to-do-should-do-want-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"Have to Do, Should Do, Want to Do"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Authors Steve and Candice Watters suggest some ways to thoughtfully arrange your do to list.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-05.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.49M","filesize_raw":"25681703","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2082,2810],"tags":[4211,5361,2877,4839,5389,5388,5390],"podcast_series":[8029],"cwp_profile":[3228],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303153","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-growing-spiritually","tag-goals","tag-intentional","tag-marriage","tag-oneness","tag-priorities","tag-priority","tag-strategic-planning","podcast_series-planning-for-oneness","cwp_profile-steve-and-candice-watters","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303153\/have-to-do-should-do-want-to-do","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303153\/have-to-do-should-do-want-to-do","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"f7Pc3HOHFL\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/have-to-do-should-do-want-to-do\/\">Have to Do, Should Do, Want to Do<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/have-to-do-should-do-want-to-do\/embed\/#?secret=f7Pc3HOHFL\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Have to Do, Should Do, Want to Do&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"f7Pc3HOHFL\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-05.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-05.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Candice Watters remembers the day she got a wakeup call and realized her priorities had shifted, without her realizing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Well, actually, I was on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>; and I was so annoyed. Our littlest one was about three at the time. He was pulling my elbow: \u201cMommy. Mommy, Mommy.\u201d I kept shoo-ing him away, saying: \u201cJust a minute; just a minute; just a minute.\u201d It\u2019s like the Holy Spirit said, \u201cWhat are you doing!?\u201d I just felt under tremendous conviction. I had to repent and say, \u201cGod, I am so sorry. This status update on Facebook is nothing. This child is eternal.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, August 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What can we do to make sure that the priorities we ought to have remain our actual priorities? We are going to talk today with Steve and Candice Watters about that. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, there are times here, at FamilyLife, when Dennis will share with the leadership that he\u2019s going to take a couple of days and get away just for some thinking and some planning. We kind of have a mixed\u2014I\u2019m just honest with you\u2014we have kind of a mixed reaction to that time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s of no surprise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014because the days that you\u2019re gone are calm\u2014they are calm [Laughter]\u2014but we know that you\u2019re coming back. We know that, when you come back, you will have\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There is work to be done! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014there is going to be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The needs of marriage and family today demand it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014it is going to be loaded! You\u2019re going to come back with lots of ideas. That\u2019s one of the challenges I think we face\u2014in families and in a ministry like this\u2014all of the things that look important. You really do have to sift through and decide what\u2019s the most important in order to be as focused and as purposeful as you can be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s important for ministries, and for marriages, and families as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve and Candice Watters are well aware of that, as a couple. Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Oh, thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>It\u2019s great to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Steve and Candice have been married since 1997. They have four children. He works with Dr. Al Mohler at Southern Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That would be Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong><em>The<\/em> Southern Baptist Seminary\u2014Vice President of Communications\u2014worked for <em>Focus on the Family<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> for a number of years. You guys have really become students of the planning process. For Barbara and me, it was something that we slowly kind of grew into ,as a couple; but for you two\u2014you mentioned, earlier, that you started out your dating by doing a lot of strategic planning in the midst of dating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want you to guide a couple, right now, who are listening to us, about how they can begin the process of planning. Where should they start, besides getting some time away together to begin to talk?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s the major issue, or the major question, they need to grapple with first?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>You know, I think the most valuable thing we\u2019ve heard, all along the way, and all the planning we did\u2014and I\u2019ll just add\u2014at the beginning, I think we made a lot of mistakes. We got excited really early about the power of planning. I think, by our third year, we had such a long list of things that we ought to be doing better here\u2014in our health, better here in our money, and maybe right a book, and maybe start a business\u2014that it really became a drag! It became a burden to bear. It really forced us to stop and think a little bit more about it: \u201cWhat really is valuable? What really is important?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor all the things C.S. Lewis is known for\u2014that he actually had something wise to say about time management\u2014at one point, he said, you know, \u201cThere are things that we have to do, there are things we should do, and there are things we\u2019d like to do.\u201d The sad thing is when you look at your calendar and realize how little of what you do falls into any of those categories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>So, we started at that model and thinking: \u201cOkay. What are the things that we have to do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you think in that category\u2014it\u2019s like paying taxes, having your driver\u2019s license renewed\u2014those things that are pressing on you \/ that have a timeline\u2014have maybe some legal ramifications \/ some urgencies\u2014there\u2019s some commitments there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the things you should do. It\u2019s the things that are good and right and important to do\u2014the things that, to be honest, as a believer, grow out of loving the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and loving your neighbor as yourself. They are things we\u2019re often convicted to do\u2014that is just a matter of us doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then that category of what do you like to do? I think it was so valuable that C.S. Lewis would capture that\u2014to realize that God designed us to enjoy His good gifts and that it\u2019s amazing that we would have to stop and think about the things we truly enjoy and make time for that because the reality is\u2014we settle for lesser things than the things we truly like to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think about how often I love to just read a good book, but I find myself grazing on social media\u2014or I love to be engaged with a great movie; but instead, you know, just flipping through channels and not really doing something that is meaningful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, thinking through those three categories\u2014really spending some time thinking and praying about what needs to be done, what you should be doing\u2014and I would say\u2014under the should be doing\u2014that\u2019s where so much of your growth in marriage and growth in raising your children \/ raising them up in the fear and instruction of the Lord falls in. If you really spend some time praying in those categories, things are going to come to mind that you\u2019ve been recognizing, \u201cYes, we should do that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is really where Ephesians 5 comes into play here because it talks about redeeming the time in the midst of the evil days; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>You think about that verse that comes just before Paul is giving instruction for husbands and wives\u2014that he stops and he points out that we should live as wise and not as unwise. We should make the most of the time because the days are evil.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou think about that\u2014you recognize there are threats to our marriages. There is an enemy who roars around, as a lion prowling, looking to see who he can destroy \/ looking for opportunities to drive a couple apart. God\u2019s, not only calling us to be vigilant in protecting our marriage and family from that threat, God\u2019s actually calling us to be fruitful\u2014to have marriages and families that are producing life and growth and spilling over into sharing with others and spreading our faith. That\u2019s a tall order which requires that stewardship\u2014requires making the most of the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the place a couple needs to start, in terms of mapping out a plan, is to stop and consider: \u201cWhat must we do? What should we do?\u201d and, \u201cWhat do we want to do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStart making lists of some of those things, and now you can begin the prioritization process. In fact, there\u2019s a component in the new FamilyLife Growapp that we\u2019ve been working on that walks you through a process of helping you identify \u201cWhat are those things?\u201d so that you can get them written down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>You know, I would say what\u2019s valuable about those categories is\u2014if you think about them, a lot of those things we\u2019re talking about\u2014in terms of what you should do and what you like to do\u2014are things that are important, but there\u2019s usually not a deadline. There\u2019s usually not an inbox email that\u2019s pressing in on you. There are so many other things that are demanding your attention. These are all things that you have to make urgent \/ you have to make important. We all realize these are good things to do, but you have to set a date with those things. You have to make a commitment to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Candice, let\u2019s move this down where everybody lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re a mom of four children\u201414 all the way down to age 5.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Take those last two questions\u2014\u201cWhat should we be doing?\u201d and then, \u201cWhat we want to be doing,\u201d and give us an idea of how that is spelled out, as you do your planning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Well, it starts with praying\u2014just having some quiet time to say, \u201cLord, what are the things that our kids are struggling with?\u201d I pray specifically for each one\u2014that He would show me \u201cWhere are their growing edges?\u201d because I want to come in and meet them at those specific points of need. He is faithful. When we ask Him to give us wisdom, He does. His Word tells us that He will. I just, in the last week, have been capturing ideas as they\u2019ve come to me during my quiet time. Our one son needs help with being more respectful. Another needs help with maybe being a little more courageous, and going after things, and not being so timid. Then our daughter has other needs, and so on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, just start writing those things down\u2014and then not interrupting Steve\u2019s quiet time to say: \u201cHoney, I got it! The Holy Spirit just gave me the list!\u201d No\u2014being a little more strategic and waiting until we are now in planning mode to say: \u201cI\u2019ve been praying for the kids. Here\u2019s what I think we need to work on this year. What do you think? What is the Lord saying to you?\u201d At a minimum, can we pray together: \u201cOkay, God, we now see what the problems are. What are the solutions? How do we cast this in a positive light for them? How do we take \u2018no complaining\u2019 and make it \u2018be more pro-active\u2019 or something?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What I want to just underscore is\u2014your kids change because, not only are they growing up, but the seasons of life and the issues they\u2019re facing change as well. You have to be thinking through, pro-actively, as a husband and a wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where my hat goes off to the single parent moms who have to do it by themselves. That\u2019s a big challenge\u2014just to have one set of eyes on it is a challenge\u2014but having a husband and a wife \/ a mom and a dad both looking at the child and thinking about: \u201cWhere\u2019s he headed?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s she about to face at this stage in her life?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, but I want to get back to you\u2014and your day, and your week, and your \u201cshoulds,\u201d and your \u201cwants,\u201d \u2014because I\u2019m guessing that you like to read; don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>I love to read. Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, so reading would be one of those \u201cwant\u201d things?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Right. Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; you also blog.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that takes some time; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>It does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you workout?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Yes. I try.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, so there\u2019s the workout side of stuff\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Steve, where do you fit in to all of this? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You are married and you do have kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Yes. Here\u2019s something that\u2019s interesting that I\u2019ve found\u2014when you do things in the right order, you get more done. When I wake up in the morning\u2014and I pray first, and I meet with God before I meet with man\u2014and that means I can\u2019t use my cell phone or my iPhone<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> as my alarm because, the minute I touch that device, I\u2019m in another world. My mind is racing to my to-do list. So, I have to get up and be totally analog, first thing in the morning\u2014that means nothing digital. I read my Bible\u2014it\u2019s quiet\u2014and pray about the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then I don\u2019t feel guilty when I sit down at my computer next to do a quick email scan and to maybe pay a bill. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I don\u2019t feel guilty when I get on the treadmill. I know: \u201cI\u2019ve prayed. I\u2019ve handled anything urgent, and now I can listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> while I run on the treadmill,\u201d or, \u201cI can read the newspaper.\u201d I don\u2019t feel guilty, at that point. And then I\u2019m ready to hit the day running. We homeschool\u2014so then it\u2019s teaching the kids. There\u2019s breakfast in there, and dishes, and all these things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, when I get up in the morning and I start with email\u2014which I\u2019m tempted to do because I\u2019m human\u2014I can be sitting at my desk for an hour. All of a sudden, I look up and an hour has gone. That was my most productive hour of the day, and it\u2019s wasted. So, I think doing things in the right order has a profound effect on your ability to be productive and to be wise with your time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are times when the things you\u2019d like to do\u2014like that book that is by the bedside that you haven\u2019t picked up in a week\u2014doesn\u2019t happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you feel bad at the end of that week?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>I feel bad at the end of a night when I knew I had an hour to read and I read Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> instead because there\u2019s something mind-numbing about that using your thumb to just continue to scroll down this never-ending stream. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwitter never stops sending you new updates. We\u2019ve actually had to have conversations where we said: \u201cOkay. We both want to read more. We both want to be better stewards. What if we set a timer, after we say goodnight to the kids, and we have 15 minutes to check Twitter\u2014then, when that goes off, we put our phones away for the night and we read for an hour?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis works for us. It wouldn\u2019t necessarily work for anyone. It\u2019s certainly not a biblical command that you only do 15 minutes of Twitter, but I know it\u2019s the difference between waiting until after a good meal to have a great piece of dessert versus coming to the table hungry and starting with dessert. I feel sick in my physical being when I just eat junk food, and when I just read Twitter or just read something that\u2019s snippets\u2014that\u2019s grazing, like Steve said\u2014my soul feels tired and weary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>The recreation \/ the re-creation\u2014that\u2019s kind of the context of recreation\u2014we need to be replenished. God gives us those good gifts of: taking a long walk, of exercise, of reading a good book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike I said, though, we have to be intentional about those things because, otherwise, our temptation is to just grab a box of Oreos or the equivalent in social media or wherever. That\u2019s not doing for our soul what our soul needs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Years ago, I remember\u2014and you\u2019ll remember this too\u2014Stephen Covey and his \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>7 Habits<\/em> book talked about the four quadrants of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He talked about the things that are urgent and the things that are important. He said there are some things that are both urgent and important\u2014you know, if the house is on fire\u2014that is both urgent and important\u2014that you need to address that. He said there are other things that are urgent but they\u2019re not important\u2014like, \u201cThe show starts in 30 minutes,\u201d\u2014but we never really stop to think, \u201cDo we really even want to watch that show?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, it\u2019s urgent; but it\u2019s not really all that important\u2014but we default to the urgent. We leave the important stuff\u2014that\u2019s not urgent\u2014kind of in that, \u201cI\u2019ll get to that one of these days.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat you\u2019re doing with the content that you\u2019ve developed for the FamilyLife Grow app is helping us re-elevate the important back into our lives and make it urgent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And they do it in a way, Bob, that isn\u2019t just hard work. A lot of planning is just hard work; but you\u2019ve used some quizzes, some fun games that have rewards, in here\u2014in this app\u2014to help couples, not only do their planning, but have some fun as they do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCandice, I want you to just take our listeners through one of these assessments that you have. This one just allows both the husband and the wife to do this on their iPhone<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, or iPad<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, or their Android. It is agree\/disagree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s very quick. There\u2019s like ten \/ twelve questions there. What the app does is\u2014it takes all the answers and then helps you see where you agree and disagree. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. The questions like: \u201cMy spouse usually consults with me before making plans: agree or disagree?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI often find out, at the last minute, that my spouse has made plans of which I wasn\u2019t aware: agree or disagree?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI can count on a regular time, most days, in which I can have a meaningful connection, even if only briefly, with my spouse,\u201d or, \u201cOur vacations and other major events often get thrown together at the last minute and create stress for our marriage: agree or disagree?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe block date nights and getaways on our schedule before other things can interfere.\u201d \u201cWe don\u2019t regularly pray as a couple.\u201d \u201cWe often talk about things we\u2019d like to do, but then we forget to do them.\u201d \u201cWe talk through the week ahead to review activities and priorities.\u201d \u201cWe often have tension when we go into a weekend without any clear plans.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, now I\u2019m listening to this and I\u2019m going: \u201cI\u2019m not downloading that app! [Laughter] That\u2019s just a set-up for marital conflict\u2014right there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s not absolute, though, Bob. It says, \u201cDo you usually\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But <em>still<\/em>\u2014if I usually don\u2019t, I\u2019d rather just kind of, \u201cCan we just ignore that and just let it be?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But what happens is\u2014as a result of doing that little assessment, you can find out where you\u2019re missing one another. Then your app actually will guide the couple in beginning to fortify that with solutions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. This app is designed in especially things like this\u2014that expose areas where you disagree. We\u2019re saying: \u201cLook. We want to come along side you and help you live out the vows. You promised, before God \/ with another, to be one\u2014to be a husband leading his wife in love \/ a wife respecting and helping her husband. You have to be on the same page if you\u2019re going to do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to say, as a woman, to have a husband say: \u201cHoney, let\u2019s sit down; and I want to hear from you. What do you like to do?\u201d The first time Steve asked me that question, I had to think about it because my life was so full of what I had to do to care for our kids, to get food on the table, to get the grocery shopping done and the housecleaning done, I went: \u201cOh. Can I have five minutes because I don\u2019t even remember what I like to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt like he was living with me in an understanding way. It was life-giving to get to answer that question and then to know he heard me. He wrote down what I like to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s on his plan now that he knows my favorite place to visit if we come into some money. He knows where I would want to go. Or, if we just have two hours on a Saturday, he knows how I would want to spend that time. That builds a culture of love, and understanding, and mutuality, and oneness in a marriage\u2014that it is worth the difficulty of answering \u201cagree\/disagree\u201d to get to that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>You know, I would say to that\u2014so much of this is just replacing the trivia of life with something that does have eternal value. I mean, you think about Ma and Pa Ingalls\u2014they were spending so much of their lives working together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Surviving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Yes, surviving. Now, in our day, we have to be so much more intentional because we\u2019re not spending our lives working together. It really requires that effort now for us to say, \u201cFor all the entertainment temptations that are out there \/ all the things we could be doing that are trivial, what are those things He\u2019s calling us to do, as a couple \/ as parents?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose are the things we should be spending our time on\u2014that have eternal value\u2014instead of letting so much of our life being eaten up with the trivial, especially considering how much temptation lures in that trivia.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>And we can\u2019t forget that our kids are watching. This is a <em>huge<\/em> issue for families\u2014that their little kids are watching to see, \u201cOh, Daddy always has that thing in his hand.\u201d They see your interest. They see you\u2019re engrossed in it\u2014they want you to be engrossed with them. They want you to be engaged with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it helps us to stop and say: \u201cI\u2019m going to give an account one day before the Judge of the universe for how I spent every minute\u2014for every careless word and for every click of that phone. God\u2019s going to say, \u2018Candice, what did you do with what I gave you?\u2019\u201d Time is fleeting. The older I get, the more painfully obvious it is that I was made for eternity. I don\u2019t like the fact that I\u2019m running out of time; but the fact that I am is unchangeable. I want to be as intentional with that time as I can.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You shared with me a story about a morning when you\u2014I think you were trying to finish up a blog post or you were writing something\u2014and the kids were coming in and wanting some of your attention. It was annoying you; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Well, actually, I was on Facebook, if you must know, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>I was so annoyed. Our littlest one was about three, at the time. He was pulling my elbow: \u201cMommy. Mommy, Mommy.\u201d I kept shoo-ing him away, saying, \u201cJust a minute; just a minute; just a minute.\u201d Then it\u2019s like the Holy Spirit said, \u201cWhat are you doing!?\u201d I just felt under tremendous conviction. I had to repent and say: \u201cGod, I am so sorry. This status update on Facebook is nothing. This child is eternal.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI quit Facebook within about two weeks of that because I realized it had just consumed my mind. I don\u2019t want that social media to control me. I do still use social media; but when it gets to the point that I feel like I\u2019m not in control of my thought life or my schedule, it\u2019s not worth it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The book of Proverbs is written about being wise in how we live. The word \u201cwisdom\u201d is a Hebrew word that means \u201cgodly skill in everyday living.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you think about that definition of wisdom, let\u2019s reread the passage, Steve\u2014that you mentioned earlier in the broadcast\u2014Ephesians 5:15 and 16: \u201cTherefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.\u201d In other words, if we\u2019re going to be skillful \/ have godly skill in everyday living, we have to take a step back and be intentional, together, as a couple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why what you\u2019ve talked about here in your app\u2014your digital app\u2014and your date nights are so important\u2014for a couple to come together and to really set a course for their marriage, for their family, for each of their children. What you\u2019ve really designed here is something that\u2019s very practical\u2014that\u2019s going to help a lot of couples come together\u2014using the digital instead of having it divide us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Although, I\u2019m wondering how many husbands are going to go: \u201cWe talked, Honey, don\u2019t you remember? I sent you that thing, and then you sent me that thing back.\u201d The wife goes, \u201cYes, but I wanted to talk, face to\u2026\u201d \u201cBut, we did the digital thing.\u201d You know? You can see some of that happening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>It\u2019s just a tool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, it\u2019s just a tool. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Well, and I would say, along those lines\u2014it is just a tool. We are dependent on the power of the Holy Spirit. We are dependent on leaning on God; and yes, we need face time\u2014actual\u2014not just iPhone Face Time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. Yes, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>But it is a helpful tool. I think God gives us a means to do the things He\u2019s called us to do, and I think it can be a very helpful tool along those lines.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and what we\u2019ve done with it is\u2014we\u2019ve put it inside a new app that we\u2019ve created for smartphones\u2014that\u2019s a new FamilyLife app that has lots of good content in it. In fact, we just shared about this last weekend at the Chicago <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> event and had a lot of folks who downloaded the app and are starting to use your tool. We wanted to let listeners about it as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d There\u2019s information there about the new FamilyLife Grow app that includes the material that Steve and Candice have put together. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d if you\u2019d like more information about how you can download this new FamilyLife Grow app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to mention\u2014we were really encouraging the couples, who attended <em>I Still Do<\/em>, to get with some other couples and to continue to build into their own marriage and to build into the marriages of other folks they know. We made a special offer to everyone who was there for our <em>Art<\/em> <em>of<\/em> <em>Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and our <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> small group kits. We\u2019re going to do this again in Portland\u2014for everybody who comes out to the Portland <em>I<\/em> <em>Still<\/em> <em>Do<\/em> on August 23<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014and we\u2019ll do it in Washington, DC, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cCould we make a special offer for radio listeners?\u201d They said, \u201cWe can\u2019t make the same special offer, but we do have a special offer we will make available.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d on the home page. The information about the special offer is available right there. So, again, it\u2019s for <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>small group series and the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> ten-week series. We hope you\u2019ll take advantage of that\u2014get with some other couples this fall or get with some other guys\u2014and go through this material. We think you\u2019ll benefit, and we think they\u2019ll benefit as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, a quick word of thanks to the folks who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. That\u2019s you\u2014if you have ever gotten in touch with us to make a donation to help support this ministry\u2014you\u2019re committed to godly marriages and families just as we\u2019re committed to godly marriages and families. We appreciate that support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, when you make a donation to FamilyLife, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by making available a series of seven recipe cards that you can use to help develop your child\u2019s faith\u2014to grow godliness in your kids. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click in the upper right-hand corner, where it says, \u201cI Care.\u201d When you make an online donation, you\u2019ll have access to these recipe cards; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also request the recipe cards when you send us your email and mail your donation to P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to talk about men being men\u2014not just guys\u2014but being men. Darrin Patrick is going to join us. We\u2019ll talk about biblical manhood. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.49M"],"filesize_raw":["25681703"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303153.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303153.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Steve and Candice Watters suggest some ways to thoughtfully arrange your do to list.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Candice Watters remembers the day she got a wakeup call and realized her priorities had shifted, without her realizing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Well, actually, I was on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>; and I was so annoyed. Our littlest one was about three at the time. He was pulling my elbow: \u201cMommy. Mommy, Mommy.\u201d I kept shoo-ing him away, saying: \u201cJust a minute; just a minute; just a minute.\u201d It\u2019s like the Holy Spirit said, \u201cWhat are you doing!?\u201d I just felt under tremendous conviction. I had to repent and say, \u201cGod, I am so sorry. This status update on Facebook is nothing. This child is eternal.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, August 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What can we do to make sure that the priorities we ought to have remain our actual priorities? We are going to talk today with Steve and Candice Watters about that. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, there are times here, at FamilyLife, when Dennis will share with the leadership that he\u2019s going to take a couple of days and get away just for some thinking and some planning. We kind of have a mixed\u2014I\u2019m just honest with you\u2014we have kind of a mixed reaction to that time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s of no surprise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014because the days that you\u2019re gone are calm\u2014they are calm [Laughter]\u2014but we know that you\u2019re coming back. We know that, when you come back, you will have\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There is work to be done! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014there is going to be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The needs of marriage and family today demand it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014it is going to be loaded! You\u2019re going to come back with lots of ideas. That\u2019s one of the challenges I think we face\u2014in families and in a ministry like this\u2014all of the things that look important. You really do have to sift through and decide what\u2019s the most important in order to be as focused and as purposeful as you can be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s important for ministries, and for marriages, and families as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve and Candice Watters are well aware of that, as a couple. Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Oh, thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>It\u2019s great to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Steve and Candice have been married since 1997. They have four children. He works with Dr. Al Mohler at Southern Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That would be Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong><em>The<\/em> Southern Baptist Seminary\u2014Vice President of Communications\u2014worked for <em>Focus on the Family<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> for a number of years. You guys have really become students of the planning process. For Barbara and me, it was something that we slowly kind of grew into ,as a couple; but for you two\u2014you mentioned, earlier, that you started out your dating by doing a lot of strategic planning in the midst of dating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want you to guide a couple, right now, who are listening to us, about how they can begin the process of planning. Where should they start, besides getting some time away together to begin to talk?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s the major issue, or the major question, they need to grapple with first?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>You know, I think the most valuable thing we\u2019ve heard, all along the way, and all the planning we did\u2014and I\u2019ll just add\u2014at the beginning, I think we made a lot of mistakes. We got excited really early about the power of planning. I think, by our third year, we had such a long list of things that we ought to be doing better here\u2014in our health, better here in our money, and maybe right a book, and maybe start a business\u2014that it really became a drag! It became a burden to bear. It really forced us to stop and think a little bit more about it: \u201cWhat really is valuable? What really is important?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor all the things C.S. Lewis is known for\u2014that he actually had something wise to say about time management\u2014at one point, he said, you know, \u201cThere are things that we have to do, there are things we should do, and there are things we\u2019d like to do.\u201d The sad thing is when you look at your calendar and realize how little of what you do falls into any of those categories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>So, we started at that model and thinking: \u201cOkay. What are the things that we have to do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you think in that category\u2014it\u2019s like paying taxes, having your driver\u2019s license renewed\u2014those things that are pressing on you \/ that have a timeline\u2014have maybe some legal ramifications \/ some urgencies\u2014there\u2019s some commitments there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the things you should do. It\u2019s the things that are good and right and important to do\u2014the things that, to be honest, as a believer, grow out of loving the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and loving your neighbor as yourself. They are things we\u2019re often convicted to do\u2014that is just a matter of us doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then that category of what do you like to do? I think it was so valuable that C.S. Lewis would capture that\u2014to realize that God designed us to enjoy His good gifts and that it\u2019s amazing that we would have to stop and think about the things we truly enjoy and make time for that because the reality is\u2014we settle for lesser things than the things we truly like to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think about how often I love to just read a good book, but I find myself grazing on social media\u2014or I love to be engaged with a great movie; but instead, you know, just flipping through channels and not really doing something that is meaningful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, thinking through those three categories\u2014really spending some time thinking and praying about what needs to be done, what you should be doing\u2014and I would say\u2014under the should be doing\u2014that\u2019s where so much of your growth in marriage and growth in raising your children \/ raising them up in the fear and instruction of the Lord falls in. If you really spend some time praying in those categories, things are going to come to mind that you\u2019ve been recognizing, \u201cYes, we should do that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is really where Ephesians 5 comes into play here because it talks about redeeming the time in the midst of the evil days; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>You think about that verse that comes just before Paul is giving instruction for husbands and wives\u2014that he stops and he points out that we should live as wise and not as unwise. We should make the most of the time because the days are evil.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou think about that\u2014you recognize there are threats to our marriages. There is an enemy who roars around, as a lion prowling, looking to see who he can destroy \/ looking for opportunities to drive a couple apart. God\u2019s, not only calling us to be vigilant in protecting our marriage and family from that threat, God\u2019s actually calling us to be fruitful\u2014to have marriages and families that are producing life and growth and spilling over into sharing with others and spreading our faith. That\u2019s a tall order which requires that stewardship\u2014requires making the most of the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the place a couple needs to start, in terms of mapping out a plan, is to stop and consider: \u201cWhat must we do? What should we do?\u201d and, \u201cWhat do we want to do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStart making lists of some of those things, and now you can begin the prioritization process. In fact, there\u2019s a component in the new FamilyLife Growapp that we\u2019ve been working on that walks you through a process of helping you identify \u201cWhat are those things?\u201d so that you can get them written down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>You know, I would say what\u2019s valuable about those categories is\u2014if you think about them, a lot of those things we\u2019re talking about\u2014in terms of what you should do and what you like to do\u2014are things that are important, but there\u2019s usually not a deadline. There\u2019s usually not an inbox email that\u2019s pressing in on you. There are so many other things that are demanding your attention. These are all things that you have to make urgent \/ you have to make important. We all realize these are good things to do, but you have to set a date with those things. You have to make a commitment to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Candice, let\u2019s move this down where everybody lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re a mom of four children\u201414 all the way down to age 5.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Take those last two questions\u2014\u201cWhat should we be doing?\u201d and then, \u201cWhat we want to be doing,\u201d and give us an idea of how that is spelled out, as you do your planning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Well, it starts with praying\u2014just having some quiet time to say, \u201cLord, what are the things that our kids are struggling with?\u201d I pray specifically for each one\u2014that He would show me \u201cWhere are their growing edges?\u201d because I want to come in and meet them at those specific points of need. He is faithful. When we ask Him to give us wisdom, He does. His Word tells us that He will. I just, in the last week, have been capturing ideas as they\u2019ve come to me during my quiet time. Our one son needs help with being more respectful. Another needs help with maybe being a little more courageous, and going after things, and not being so timid. Then our daughter has other needs, and so on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, just start writing those things down\u2014and then not interrupting Steve\u2019s quiet time to say: \u201cHoney, I got it! The Holy Spirit just gave me the list!\u201d No\u2014being a little more strategic and waiting until we are now in planning mode to say: \u201cI\u2019ve been praying for the kids. Here\u2019s what I think we need to work on this year. What do you think? What is the Lord saying to you?\u201d At a minimum, can we pray together: \u201cOkay, God, we now see what the problems are. What are the solutions? How do we cast this in a positive light for them? How do we take \u2018no complaining\u2019 and make it \u2018be more pro-active\u2019 or something?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What I want to just underscore is\u2014your kids change because, not only are they growing up, but the seasons of life and the issues they\u2019re facing change as well. You have to be thinking through, pro-actively, as a husband and a wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where my hat goes off to the single parent moms who have to do it by themselves. That\u2019s a big challenge\u2014just to have one set of eyes on it is a challenge\u2014but having a husband and a wife \/ a mom and a dad both looking at the child and thinking about: \u201cWhere\u2019s he headed?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s she about to face at this stage in her life?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, but I want to get back to you\u2014and your day, and your week, and your \u201cshoulds,\u201d and your \u201cwants,\u201d \u2014because I\u2019m guessing that you like to read; don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>I love to read. Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, so reading would be one of those \u201cwant\u201d things?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Right. Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; you also blog.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that takes some time; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>It does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you workout?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Yes. I try.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, so there\u2019s the workout side of stuff\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Steve, where do you fit in to all of this? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You are married and you do have kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Yes. Here\u2019s something that\u2019s interesting that I\u2019ve found\u2014when you do things in the right order, you get more done. When I wake up in the morning\u2014and I pray first, and I meet with God before I meet with man\u2014and that means I can\u2019t use my cell phone or my iPhone<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> as my alarm because, the minute I touch that device, I\u2019m in another world. My mind is racing to my to-do list. So, I have to get up and be totally analog, first thing in the morning\u2014that means nothing digital. I read my Bible\u2014it\u2019s quiet\u2014and pray about the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then I don\u2019t feel guilty when I sit down at my computer next to do a quick email scan and to maybe pay a bill. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I don\u2019t feel guilty when I get on the treadmill. I know: \u201cI\u2019ve prayed. I\u2019ve handled anything urgent, and now I can listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> while I run on the treadmill,\u201d or, \u201cI can read the newspaper.\u201d I don\u2019t feel guilty, at that point. And then I\u2019m ready to hit the day running. We homeschool\u2014so then it\u2019s teaching the kids. There\u2019s breakfast in there, and dishes, and all these things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, when I get up in the morning and I start with email\u2014which I\u2019m tempted to do because I\u2019m human\u2014I can be sitting at my desk for an hour. All of a sudden, I look up and an hour has gone. That was my most productive hour of the day, and it\u2019s wasted. So, I think doing things in the right order has a profound effect on your ability to be productive and to be wise with your time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are times when the things you\u2019d like to do\u2014like that book that is by the bedside that you haven\u2019t picked up in a week\u2014doesn\u2019t happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you feel bad at the end of that week?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>I feel bad at the end of a night when I knew I had an hour to read and I read Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> instead because there\u2019s something mind-numbing about that using your thumb to just continue to scroll down this never-ending stream. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwitter never stops sending you new updates. We\u2019ve actually had to have conversations where we said: \u201cOkay. We both want to read more. We both want to be better stewards. What if we set a timer, after we say goodnight to the kids, and we have 15 minutes to check Twitter\u2014then, when that goes off, we put our phones away for the night and we read for an hour?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis works for us. It wouldn\u2019t necessarily work for anyone. It\u2019s certainly not a biblical command that you only do 15 minutes of Twitter, but I know it\u2019s the difference between waiting until after a good meal to have a great piece of dessert versus coming to the table hungry and starting with dessert. I feel sick in my physical being when I just eat junk food, and when I just read Twitter or just read something that\u2019s snippets\u2014that\u2019s grazing, like Steve said\u2014my soul feels tired and weary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>The recreation \/ the re-creation\u2014that\u2019s kind of the context of recreation\u2014we need to be replenished. God gives us those good gifts of: taking a long walk, of exercise, of reading a good book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike I said, though, we have to be intentional about those things because, otherwise, our temptation is to just grab a box of Oreos or the equivalent in social media or wherever. That\u2019s not doing for our soul what our soul needs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Years ago, I remember\u2014and you\u2019ll remember this too\u2014Stephen Covey and his \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>7 Habits<\/em> book talked about the four quadrants of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He talked about the things that are urgent and the things that are important. He said there are some things that are both urgent and important\u2014you know, if the house is on fire\u2014that is both urgent and important\u2014that you need to address that. He said there are other things that are urgent but they\u2019re not important\u2014like, \u201cThe show starts in 30 minutes,\u201d\u2014but we never really stop to think, \u201cDo we really even want to watch that show?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, it\u2019s urgent; but it\u2019s not really all that important\u2014but we default to the urgent. We leave the important stuff\u2014that\u2019s not urgent\u2014kind of in that, \u201cI\u2019ll get to that one of these days.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat you\u2019re doing with the content that you\u2019ve developed for the FamilyLife Grow app is helping us re-elevate the important back into our lives and make it urgent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And they do it in a way, Bob, that isn\u2019t just hard work. A lot of planning is just hard work; but you\u2019ve used some quizzes, some fun games that have rewards, in here\u2014in this app\u2014to help couples, not only do their planning, but have some fun as they do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCandice, I want you to just take our listeners through one of these assessments that you have. This one just allows both the husband and the wife to do this on their iPhone<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, or iPad<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, or their Android. It is agree\/disagree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s very quick. There\u2019s like ten \/ twelve questions there. What the app does is\u2014it takes all the answers and then helps you see where you agree and disagree. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. The questions like: \u201cMy spouse usually consults with me before making plans: agree or disagree?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI often find out, at the last minute, that my spouse has made plans of which I wasn\u2019t aware: agree or disagree?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI can count on a regular time, most days, in which I can have a meaningful connection, even if only briefly, with my spouse,\u201d or, \u201cOur vacations and other major events often get thrown together at the last minute and create stress for our marriage: agree or disagree?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe block date nights and getaways on our schedule before other things can interfere.\u201d \u201cWe don\u2019t regularly pray as a couple.\u201d \u201cWe often talk about things we\u2019d like to do, but then we forget to do them.\u201d \u201cWe talk through the week ahead to review activities and priorities.\u201d \u201cWe often have tension when we go into a weekend without any clear plans.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, now I\u2019m listening to this and I\u2019m going: \u201cI\u2019m not downloading that app! [Laughter] That\u2019s just a set-up for marital conflict\u2014right there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s not absolute, though, Bob. It says, \u201cDo you usually\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But <em>still<\/em>\u2014if I usually don\u2019t, I\u2019d rather just kind of, \u201cCan we just ignore that and just let it be?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But what happens is\u2014as a result of doing that little assessment, you can find out where you\u2019re missing one another. Then your app actually will guide the couple in beginning to fortify that with solutions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. This app is designed in especially things like this\u2014that expose areas where you disagree. We\u2019re saying: \u201cLook. We want to come along side you and help you live out the vows. You promised, before God \/ with another, to be one\u2014to be a husband leading his wife in love \/ a wife respecting and helping her husband. You have to be on the same page if you\u2019re going to do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to say, as a woman, to have a husband say: \u201cHoney, let\u2019s sit down; and I want to hear from you. What do you like to do?\u201d The first time Steve asked me that question, I had to think about it because my life was so full of what I had to do to care for our kids, to get food on the table, to get the grocery shopping done and the housecleaning done, I went: \u201cOh. Can I have five minutes because I don\u2019t even remember what I like to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt like he was living with me in an understanding way. It was life-giving to get to answer that question and then to know he heard me. He wrote down what I like to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s on his plan now that he knows my favorite place to visit if we come into some money. He knows where I would want to go. Or, if we just have two hours on a Saturday, he knows how I would want to spend that time. That builds a culture of love, and understanding, and mutuality, and oneness in a marriage\u2014that it is worth the difficulty of answering \u201cagree\/disagree\u201d to get to that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>You know, I would say to that\u2014so much of this is just replacing the trivia of life with something that does have eternal value. I mean, you think about Ma and Pa Ingalls\u2014they were spending so much of their lives working together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Surviving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Yes, surviving. Now, in our day, we have to be so much more intentional because we\u2019re not spending our lives working together. It really requires that effort now for us to say, \u201cFor all the entertainment temptations that are out there \/ all the things we could be doing that are trivial, what are those things He\u2019s calling us to do, as a couple \/ as parents?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose are the things we should be spending our time on\u2014that have eternal value\u2014instead of letting so much of our life being eaten up with the trivial, especially considering how much temptation lures in that trivia.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>And we can\u2019t forget that our kids are watching. This is a <em>huge<\/em> issue for families\u2014that their little kids are watching to see, \u201cOh, Daddy always has that thing in his hand.\u201d They see your interest. They see you\u2019re engrossed in it\u2014they want you to be engrossed with them. They want you to be engaged with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it helps us to stop and say: \u201cI\u2019m going to give an account one day before the Judge of the universe for how I spent every minute\u2014for every careless word and for every click of that phone. God\u2019s going to say, \u2018Candice, what did you do with what I gave you?\u2019\u201d Time is fleeting. The older I get, the more painfully obvious it is that I was made for eternity. I don\u2019t like the fact that I\u2019m running out of time; but the fact that I am is unchangeable. I want to be as intentional with that time as I can.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You shared with me a story about a morning when you\u2014I think you were trying to finish up a blog post or you were writing something\u2014and the kids were coming in and wanting some of your attention. It was annoying you; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Well, actually, I was on Facebook, if you must know, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>I was so annoyed. Our littlest one was about three, at the time. He was pulling my elbow: \u201cMommy. Mommy, Mommy.\u201d I kept shoo-ing him away, saying, \u201cJust a minute; just a minute; just a minute.\u201d Then it\u2019s like the Holy Spirit said, \u201cWhat are you doing!?\u201d I just felt under tremendous conviction. I had to repent and say: \u201cGod, I am so sorry. This status update on Facebook is nothing. This child is eternal.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI quit Facebook within about two weeks of that because I realized it had just consumed my mind. I don\u2019t want that social media to control me. I do still use social media; but when it gets to the point that I feel like I\u2019m not in control of my thought life or my schedule, it\u2019s not worth it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The book of Proverbs is written about being wise in how we live. The word \u201cwisdom\u201d is a Hebrew word that means \u201cgodly skill in everyday living.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you think about that definition of wisdom, let\u2019s reread the passage, Steve\u2014that you mentioned earlier in the broadcast\u2014Ephesians 5:15 and 16: \u201cTherefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.\u201d In other words, if we\u2019re going to be skillful \/ have godly skill in everyday living, we have to take a step back and be intentional, together, as a couple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why what you\u2019ve talked about here in your app\u2014your digital app\u2014and your date nights are so important\u2014for a couple to come together and to really set a course for their marriage, for their family, for each of their children. What you\u2019ve really designed here is something that\u2019s very practical\u2014that\u2019s going to help a lot of couples come together\u2014using the digital instead of having it divide us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Although, I\u2019m wondering how many husbands are going to go: \u201cWe talked, Honey, don\u2019t you remember? I sent you that thing, and then you sent me that thing back.\u201d The wife goes, \u201cYes, but I wanted to talk, face to\u2026\u201d \u201cBut, we did the digital thing.\u201d You know? You can see some of that happening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>It\u2019s just a tool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, it\u2019s just a tool. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Well, and I would say, along those lines\u2014it is just a tool. We are dependent on the power of the Holy Spirit. We are dependent on leaning on God; and yes, we need face time\u2014actual\u2014not just iPhone Face Time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. Yes, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>But it is a helpful tool. I think God gives us a means to do the things He\u2019s called us to do, and I think it can be a very helpful tool along those lines.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and what we\u2019ve done with it is\u2014we\u2019ve put it inside a new app that we\u2019ve created for smartphones\u2014that\u2019s a new FamilyLife app that has lots of good content in it. In fact, we just shared about this last weekend at the Chicago <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> event and had a lot of folks who downloaded the app and are starting to use your tool. We wanted to let listeners about it as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d There\u2019s information there about the new FamilyLife Grow app that includes the material that Steve and Candice have put together. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d if you\u2019d like more information about how you can download this new FamilyLife Grow app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to mention\u2014we were really encouraging the couples, who attended <em>I Still Do<\/em>, to get with some other couples and to continue to build into their own marriage and to build into the marriages of other folks they know. We made a special offer to everyone who was there for our <em>Art<\/em> <em>of<\/em> <em>Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and our <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> small group kits. We\u2019re going to do this again in Portland\u2014for everybody who comes out to the Portland <em>I<\/em> <em>Still<\/em> <em>Do<\/em> on August 23<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014and we\u2019ll do it in Washington, DC, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cCould we make a special offer for radio listeners?\u201d They said, \u201cWe can\u2019t make the same special offer, but we do have a special offer we will make available.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d on the home page. The information about the special offer is available right there. So, again, it\u2019s for <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>small group series and the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> ten-week series. We hope you\u2019ll take advantage of that\u2014get with some other couples this fall or get with some other guys\u2014and go through this material. We think you\u2019ll benefit, and we think they\u2019ll benefit as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, a quick word of thanks to the folks who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. That\u2019s you\u2014if you have ever gotten in touch with us to make a donation to help support this ministry\u2014you\u2019re committed to godly marriages and families just as we\u2019re committed to godly marriages and families. We appreciate that support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, when you make a donation to FamilyLife, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by making available a series of seven recipe cards that you can use to help develop your child\u2019s faith\u2014to grow godliness in your kids. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click in the upper right-hand corner, where it says, \u201cI Care.\u201d When you make an online donation, you\u2019ll have access to these recipe cards; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also request the recipe cards when you send us your email and mail your donation to P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to talk about men being men\u2014not just guys\u2014but being men. Darrin Patrick is going to join us. We\u2019ll talk about biblical manhood. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. 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