{"id":303151,"date":"2014-08-04T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-08-04T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/strategic-planning-for-marriage\/"},"modified":"2014-08-04T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-08-04T15:00:00","slug":"strategic-planning-for-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/strategic-planning-for-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Strategic Planning for Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Steve and Candice Watters believe it&#8217;s important to make plans as a couple. They share how taking time to plan and dream has benefited their marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-04.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.97M","filesize_raw":"25138349","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2082,2810],"tags":[4211,5361,2877,4839,5389,5388,5390],"podcast_series":[8029],"cwp_profile":[3228],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303151","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-growing-spiritually","tag-goals","tag-intentional","tag-marriage","tag-oneness","tag-priorities","tag-priority","tag-strategic-planning","podcast_series-planning-for-oneness","cwp_profile-steve-and-candice-watters","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303151\/strategic-planning-for-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303151\/strategic-planning-for-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"gf4VGUwCEa\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/strategic-planning-for-marriage\/\">Strategic Planning for Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/strategic-planning-for-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=gf4VGUwCEa\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Strategic Planning for Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"gf4VGUwCEa\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-04.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-04.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you find there are important things in your life, in your marriage, in your family that you just never get around to? Here is Steve Watters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>We all have routines. Even if we haven\u2019t stopped to think about our routines, there are those things we do on a regular basis. We just get into those grooves. The question is: \u201cDoes your routine know that you\u2019re married? Does your routine know your values?\u201d The reality is\u2014a lot of things in our routine aren\u2019t necessarily moving us along toward the things that really matter in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to talk today about how we can do a little strategic planning for our marriage and our family that really will enable us to make sure the important things are getting done. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I saw what we were going to be talking about today and I thought\u2014well, I\u2019ll tell you what I thought about. I thought about the World Series. Do you know why I thought about the World Series? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m trying to draw this one up\u2014the connection.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I thought about you and your son going to see a World Series baseball game\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I know where you\u2019re headed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Somebody asked your son what one word describes you. What word did he come up with?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He said: \u201cOh, that\u2019s easy. Intentional.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mr. Intentional. That\u2019s been the nickname that we\u2019ve given you around here as a result of that\u2014Mr. Intentional. This is all about being intentional; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, and even though I questioned my son\u2019s judgment in terms of that, he did reflect back. I have done a poll with my kids. Yes, I think I\u2019ve been pretty intentional over the years. Barbara and I have\u2014well, frankly, I think she\u2019s had as much of an impact upon me in doing planning and thinking strategically than what I brought to the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, it takes two. I think we serve one another in that regard in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We have a couple with us\u2014Steve and Candice Watters join us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> You guys come about this honestly. Candice, tell the truth. Was it you that brought the strategic planning to your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>No. In fact, Steve brought it up first when we were dating\u2014and said, \u201cLet\u2019s go plan our holiday month.\u201d It was the beginning of December. It started then, and we have been planning ever since.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You guys did tie the knot. You went on to have four children\u2014been married since 1997. You\u2019re Vice President of Communications for Southern Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. Tell us how you really became so intentional about strategic planning, as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>I think what started it is truly\u2014before that Christmas planning, we had been up to a new cottage that Candice\u2019s parents had bought on a lake, up in Michigan. Something about that lake house made you want to dream big and think big thoughts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCandice and I were already beginning to think of our life together and projects we were working on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we went back, nine months later, after that Christmas planning. We had gotten married. We spent some of our post-honeymoon period there\u2014spent a lot of time between, actually, waiting for some new jobs to start. It gave us lots of time to think and dream. So, something about that place was special. Our first year of marriage\u2014we decided, right after the Christmas time, to head up to that cottage, and just dream, and plan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the next year, I got inspired for some reason. I gave Candice a door knocker for Christmas. I said, \u201cHow about, this year, we accessorize this door knocker with a house?\u201d We went back to the cottage again and said, \u201cLet\u2019s go figure out how we can find a way to build a house\u2014to actually do this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>No\u2014no, we weren\u2019t always so strategic, I think, though, because you have to know\u2014that second time, we went out to eat; and we wrote out our plan on the back of the placemat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a paper placemat. We went back to the cottage. We thought, \u201cHey, wouldn\u2019t it be cool if we hid this somewhere at this house, and then we\u2019ll come back in a year and see how we did on our plan?\u201d So we climbed up on the kitchen counter and taped it to one of the soffits, where no one would see it over the summer, and came back a year later\u2014and got that plan down, and looked at it, and said, \u201cHey, we didn\u2019t do too bad; but I wonder if we would have done more if we\u2019d actually taken the plan with us so we could refer back to it.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I understand that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As you\u2019re describing that, I\u2019m thinking\u2014Mary Ann and I have dreamed together on occasion\u2014gone off. We\u2019ve been in those down times when you can just take a breath, and you can look toward the future and think, \u201cWhat do we want to be about?\u201d But there\u2019s a big gap between dreaming and implementing. I think there are a lot of couples, who have dreams or hopes or desires for the future, but to turn that into reality is where they start to hiccup.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They don\u2019t know where to start. First of all, you have to take the time to pull back and out of the swirl. I used to compare what Barbara and I did, in terms of planning, to canoeing on a river.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a spot north of here called the Buffalo River. It\u2019s a spectacular national river that is not all that difficult, but it does have some rapids that can turn your canoe over if you\u2019re not careful. I compare what we did to pulling our canoe off to the side, walking downstream a bit, and taking a look at how other people were navigating the rapids, trying to learn how you are going to steer this thing to get through this spot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s one spot called Grey Rock. If you don\u2019t go in to it right and come out of it right, you\u2019re going to turn your canoe over. Well, a lot of couples don\u2019t take the time to step out of the stream, step out of the busyness of life, and take a look at: \u201cWhere are we headed? Where are the currents of life taking us, and how do we want to be more proactive and on the offensive and not just react defensively?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHave you all found that to be true as well?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Absolutely. I think that is the primary issue\u2014is that we will be busy. We will do things. The question is: \u201cHow much of it will we be intentional about? How much of it will we actually take that time to ask, \u2018What are the most important things?\u2019 so that we\u2019re not just filling up our calendar.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCandice and I were looking at some time-use calendars\u2014kind of some studies on how people spend their time. I was surprised to realize the average American spends \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t34 hours a week watching television; and then another 3 to 6 hours with some kind of recorded program, or movie, or whatever; and then 23 hours a week with social media\u2014texting, emailing, and checking Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\/Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014and realizing that is time that is being used somehow. Obviously, there are a lot of positive ways you can use that\u2014there\u2019s information, there\u2019s a lot of time just some relaxing and entertaining\u2014but that\u2019s a big chunk of time that people are using.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so just stopping to ask: \u201cHow could we use a few hours of that differently?\u2014in a more constructive way\u2014to make sure that\u2019s not what\u2019s setting our agenda, but we\u2019re actually\u2014we\u2019ve got a compass that has a biblical orientation to it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>I think, too, the thing that we\u2019ve found is that people tend to be very proactive in January. They have New Year\u2019s resolutions\u2014and they\u2019re going to plan their money, they\u2019re going to plan their work, they might plan their vacation. They\u2019re going to plan all these important things; but they\u2019re not going to stop and say: \u201cHow are we going to plan our marriage this year? How are we going to be intentional about discipling each of our children, based on their ages and their spiritual development?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are the things that do require, Dennis, like you said\u2014to step out of the water \/ to step out of the stream and to be quiet before the Lord, and pray, and read the Word, and say: \u201cGod, what are we supposed to do this year? What do You want us to do? How can we be fruitful this year?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it\u2019s not just a matter of creating a bucket list of some things you want to go do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It really is taking a step back and going\u2014well, for instance, you guys have a 14-, a 12-\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>A 12-, a 7- and a 5-year-old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you\u2019re in the thick of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, you\u2019re shaping the lives of these four, and you\u2019re headed somewhere with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And if you don\u2019t know where you\u2019re headed with your children, the world does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The world has a good system of communicating its values and impressing them on these little hearts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s why we, at the beginning of each year, we stop and we ask: \u201cOkay, what year are our children turning? What year is this in our marriage? What stage are we at? What things are significant?\u201d That\u2019s what caused us, ahead of time, to say: \u201cYou know what? This is a <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> year. This is the year that we need to get it on the books. We need to plan.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we had plenty of experiences where we recognized some things too late\u2014where we realized there were things that\u2014it would have been good to have seen this coming on the calendar and gotten a plan together\u2014instead of backing our way into it. By starting that process, earlier in the year, we were able to book the place for the <em>Passport2Purity.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were able to plan for our son\u2019s 13<sup>th<\/sup> birthday, where we actually got to do a lot of the things that were meaningful because we had the time and the preparation to go into it, proactively.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And a part of this whole idea of strategic thinking is not just about your marriage, as you\u2019ve said; but it\u2019s also thinking about: \u201cWhat age are our kids? What are the issues they are going to be facing?\u201d I know, as you guys sit down and map out a year, you really pull back and say: \u201cOkay, we have a 14-year-old. So, what\u2019s on the horizon for that 14-year-old; and what are the things we need to be intentionally addressing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then the next step is: \u201cOkay, if that\u2019s what we want to do, now, how are we going to do it? When are we going to do it?\u201d\u2014starting to really fit it into your plan for the year ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>You know, I think it is something that is not that unusual for people to do\u2014strategic planning at the office. I think the problem is\u2014marriage and family is what gets squeezed out. I think it\u2019s recognizing that it\u2019s marriage and family that gets pushed to the edge\u2014that we said, \u201cThat is important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe don\u2019t want other urgent, pressing things squeezing out what\u2019s important,\u201d\u2014recognizing this is something we need to bring intentionality and urgency to it because no one else in our lives is going to for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think what happened to us is\u2014we started having children, and I don\u2019t remember us ever having a strategic planning time. But after you\u2019ve had six children\u2014you have six kids under the age of ten\u2014if you don\u2019t have a plan, it is chaos.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, even if you do have a plan\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s chaos.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014it\u2019s chaos! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But with a plan, you can be headed somewhere. I really do have Barbara to thank in terms of coming alongside me and saying: \u201cYou know, Sweetheart, we really need to plan. We really need to have a conversation about where this thing is going\u2014and where each child is going\u2014and what values, what character qualities we want to build into each child,\u201d because every one of our children are very different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey all had different character needs\u2014different needs, in terms of development\u2014than the other ones did. If you\u2019re not intentional about that\u2014if you don\u2019t have that reduced down in writing somewhere to say, \u201cWhere are we headed for this year?\u201d\u2014If you don\u2019t, you\u2019re just going to play defense. You\u2019re going to run your fool head off\u2014running around to Little League, to soccer, to all the practices\u2014and never really make an impact in the child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Tell our listeners about the project you\u2019ve been working on\u2014that we\u2019ve been partnered together on\u2014because I think this is exciting. I think everybody understands the challenge, and they\u2019re just looking for some help in how to do this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got together and thought: \u201cOkay, what if we made that help available in an interactive mobile environment?\u2014put that in a digital setting on an app for the iPhone<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or for the iPad<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or for an Android\u2014where people could do their planning and store their planning on their phone. Maybe folks would have a shot at being able to get some of this stuff done.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>This is something we were excited to see happen because Candice and I\u2014along the way, we\u2019d have friends who would find out that we\u2019d done some planning. They\u2019d say, \u201cOh, that\u2019d be great to do.\u201d We would start trying to walk them through what we did, and we\u2019d realize that it doesn\u2019t always translate. It\u2019s not as convenient to help someone\u2014distance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe started getting excited\u2014realizing there are some nice technologies available now to help people to capture those ideas\u2014to look at a framework for what is important\u2014be able to take some time \/ to be intentional about capturing that\u2014and then to be able to have the ability to get some reminders \/ to get some notifications that help you live out that plan that you\u2019ve committed to\u2014especially the opportunity to look at your routine \/ to look at the things that are pressing in on your life\u2014and be able to continue to hold up marriage and family, in the midst of all that busyness, and have it stand out from the clutter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think the point that you make\u2014to have it instantly accessible on your hip\u2014your planning is being carried with you\u2014or in your purse. I guess I defaulted to where mine usually is, right there on my hip\u2014in your pocket. I think that ups the ante in terms of your ability to accomplish what you wanted to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In fact, we kind of rushed by something you said, Steve, that I want to underline. You talked about reminders. Digital is a great way to be reminded of something you promised each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Just a chance to be reminded: \u201cHow are you doing on that goal that you and Candice set at the beginning of the year?\u201d If we have those reminders, on a regular basis\u2014there\u2019s nothing like that reminder and the accountability of knowing that your spouse also got the same reminder, at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>And one of the powerful things about that, Dennis, is the way that it fosters oneness between a husband and a wife because you\u2019ve taken time, at the beginning of the year, to set a framework. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is a commitment\u2014now you both are on the same page. So, when the reminder comes up, you have the entre\u2014you have permission then to maybe have some conversations\u2014where, in the past, it would just sound like nagging. Now it\u2019s just saying: \u201cHey, honey, let\u2019s revisit what we talked about. How are we doing?\u201d It keeps you honest. It holds you accountable; and I think it builds oneness because you\u2019re on the same journey together\u2014heading in the same direction that you both agreed to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>But I think that really is the key issue\u2014that we have to stop and recognize the threats to our oneness\u2014that we have an enemy who doesn\u2019t like oneness among believers. There are so many times in which Christ is saying, \u201cBe one, as the Father and the Spirit and I are one,\u201d\u2014that we are marked, as believers, by our oneness\u2014and very much so in our marriages, as believers. Oneness is what is reflecting God. It is our testimony to the world around us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, anything the enemy can do\u2014to drive wedges between us \/ to push couples apart\u2014and he has a lot to work with\u2014in a culture in which we are going in different directions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have jobs and careers pushing us in different directions. We have technology that\u2019s driving us in different directions, and we have a culture of individualism where everybody is focused on their own needs. You have marriages that are kind of people with individual agendas coming together\u2014living as roommates\u2014who really don\u2019t know what it means to live as one. It\u2019s hard work to be one, but that\u2019s what God is calling us to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You really are touching on something that has caused many an argument between Barbara and me. We have probably had more \u201cstimulating discussions\u201d [Laughter] around our calendar, and our schedule, and our commitments than anything else we\u2019ve faced, as a couple. There\u2019s a reason for that\u2014the calendar is a place where your values show up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is the place where they are lived out. I like the question you guys ask as you kind of build out your planning process. You ask the question: \u201cDoes your schedule know that you\u2019re married?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re implying that some couples really are two individual people, doing their own thing \/ being successful, but their lives aren\u2019t intersecting at much of any point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Yes. You think about the couples who get married but keep separate checking accounts and other things that communicate that they\u2019re individuals. I think very much the same thing is true with their schedules\u2014their calendars don\u2019t overlap. You don\u2019t see any regular date nights\u2014and other opportunities to continually be connecting, and being one, and on the same page\u2014and plenty of opportunities where one is scheduling something and the other person never knows about it until it happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s never happened in our marriage. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Well, when you bring the kids into it, too, they get excited. If you sit your kids down in January and say: \u201cGuys, here are the big rocks\u2014here are the big things we\u2019re going to try to fit into the vase, if you will, of our life this year. Then we\u2019ll fit all the little stuff around them, but here are the big things.\u201d If you put a list on the fridge and they can see that, they get excited. They hold you accountable too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey say: \u201cHey, Dad. I can\u2019t wait for that trip that\u2019s coming up this summer. What are we going to do to get ready?\u201d The more you bring your kids in\u2014the more it builds unity in your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And the thing is, Candice, if they see the big rocks like you\u2019re talking about, it makes it easier to say no to some of the other \u201cgood\u201d things that come their way that they want to go do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Right. You\u2019re teaching them how to set priorities. \u201cYou know, we can\u2019t do it all. So, if we\u2019re going to do this, then we can\u2019t do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, does your schedule know that you\u2019re married, Candice?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>It does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How does it know it? [Laughter] I\u2019d like some proof.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>I think the biggest way it knows is that Steve and I have a standing date, if you will, on Sundays. We just sit down with our schedules and say, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on this week?\u201d I know when Steve is going to be home for lunch. I know when I\u2019m going to have a free day\u2014that he\u2019s not coming home\u2014and I can plan something else in that slot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur kids know that he\u2019s going to be home for dinner at night. We know, going into a week, what the commitments are. I\u2019m able to count on having face time with him every day\u2014not Face Time on an iPhone\u2014but real live touch points \/ communication\u2014sit down and time to pray together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have all of these things built into our routine, and then our routine works for us because we\u2019re connecting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>I think the routine is the key issue\u2014that we all have routines. Even if we haven\u2019t stopped to think about our routines, there are those things we do on a regular basis. We just get into those grooves. The question is: \u201cDoes your routine know that you\u2019re married? Does your routine know your values?\u201d The reality is\u2014 a lot of things in our routine aren\u2019t necessarily moving us along towards the things that really matter in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And for you, the routine involved a date night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>So, the date night is a big part of it\u2014the date night with our kids\u2014so a Daddy Date Night. The routine of family discipleship\u2014the routine of our Friday morning discipleship time that I have with my son on one Friday \/ and the other one, Candice with our oldest daughter\u2014these kind of things that we get into our routine. Then we know our routine is working for us because it\u2019s a commitment we\u2019ve made. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeveral mornings we\u2019ve woken up and thought: \u201cOh, man! It\u2019s Friday morning. It\u2019s that discipleship thing, and I\u2019ve got such-and-such going on,\u201d\u2014but we made the commitment\u2014\u201cLet\u2019s do it.\u201d We always come back from it, saying, \u201cThat was the most important thing I did all week.\u201d It does require rethinking soccer, and music lessons, and other things like that; but if you think about what parents are called to do\u2014there are some primary things, and there are some secondary things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve let so many secondary things\u2014like sports and music lessons\u2014become the primary things on the calendar. We squeeze to the margin those primary things that God has made very clear are our responsibilities.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>For us, that Sunday night date night was survival. Bob, did you have one with Mary Ann?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We didn\u2019t have it regularly. I remember Mary Ann throwing in the flag, on a number of occasions, and saying: \u201cHey, we need a time out here. We have to get our calendars in alignment,\u201d because, if you\u2019re not deliberate about doing it, then you do find yourself drifting apart; and you find yourself frustrated: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI didn\u2019t know you were...\u201d \u201cWhat? You never told me about that!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>See, our date night started out kind of more of a\u2014like a romantic date night\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014but it ended up being more of an arm wrestling contest around the schedule. [Laughter] I mean, our schedules\u2014with a husband, and a wife, plus six kids\u2014you had a lot of activity that was just one wave after another hitting you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrankly, I do not know how you can raise kids in this culture today if you don\u2019t have that island of clarity\u2014that moment when you pull your canoe out of the stream \/ pull off to the side\u2014take a look at where everybody else is heading, how the currents are moving you along, and say, \u201cWhat can we do to be proactive about leading our family in the right direction?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s not like you need six kids to need that island of clarity. You need that island of clarity in the midst of whatever you have going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou need to have some time where the two of you can just really focus on what you want your priorities to be. This past weekend, at the <em>I Still Do<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> event that we hosted in Chicago, we shared with the audience that was there the new FamilyLife Grow app\u2014so that a husband and a wife can get their smartphones\u2014and they can work together to develop a plan that they can sync with their calendar and work into the fabric of their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wanted to make sure our listeners knew about this as well. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. The information is available there about the new FamilyLifeGrow app<em>.<\/em> It\u2019s free. It has a lot more content than just the planning tool that Steve and Candice have done\u2014there are other resources to help strengthen your marriage and your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should also mention that, while we were in Chicago this past weekend at <em>I Still Do,<\/em> we were challenging the folks, who were there, to make one of their priorities\u2014getting engaged with other couples and helping to strengthen marriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of people, who were at the event, took advantage of a special offer we were making on our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>small group material and our <em>Stepping Up<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>small group series for men. So, I asked, \u201cCan we make that same offer available to our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners? And they said, \u201cNo, we can\u2019t make that same offer available; but we do have a special offer we\u2019ll put together for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You can get information about the special offer we\u2019re making, this week, on <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> and <em>Stepping Up<\/em>\u2014in fact, many of our small group resources. There is a special offer involved this week. So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find the information available there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, of course, those of you who live in Portland, we are headed your way\u2014<em>I Still Do<\/em>\u2014Saturday, August 23<sup>rd<\/sup>, at the Moda Center.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe still have tickets available. Go online to IStillDo.com for more information about how you can attend this one-day celebration of the marriage covenant for couples\u2014coming to Portland here in a couple of weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a quick \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who help make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible\u2014help make the new app that we\u2019ve just developed possible. Thanks for your support of all that\u2019s happening, here at <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> We appreciate your partnership with us. Right now, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d if you can help us with a donation by making available a set of seven activities\u2014recipes for helping to develop your child\u2019s faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are some fun activities for the whole family. They are our way of saying \u201cThank you,\u201d when you help support this ministry. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014in the upper right-hand corner, where it says, \u201cI Care,\u201d\u2014click that link. You can make your online donation. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone. Be sure to mention that you\u2019d like the seven recipe cards for developing your child\u2019s faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr mail your email address to us, along with your donation, to P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. The zip code is 72223. We\u2019ll send you a link so that you can download these recipe cards and start having some fun with your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we hope you can join us back tomorrow. We\u2019re going to continue to talk about priorities in our marriage and in our family. Steve and Candice Watters will be here. Hope you can be here as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. 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and Candice Watters believe it's important to make plans as a couple. They share how taking time to plan and dream has benefited their marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you find there are important things in your life, in your marriage, in your family that you just never get around to? Here is Steve Watters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>We all have routines. Even if we haven\u2019t stopped to think about our routines, there are those things we do on a regular basis. We just get into those grooves. The question is: \u201cDoes your routine know that you\u2019re married? Does your routine know your values?\u201d The reality is\u2014a lot of things in our routine aren\u2019t necessarily moving us along toward the things that really matter in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to talk today about how we can do a little strategic planning for our marriage and our family that really will enable us to make sure the important things are getting done. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I saw what we were going to be talking about today and I thought\u2014well, I\u2019ll tell you what I thought about. I thought about the World Series. Do you know why I thought about the World Series? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m trying to draw this one up\u2014the connection.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I thought about you and your son going to see a World Series baseball game\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I know where you\u2019re headed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Somebody asked your son what one word describes you. What word did he come up with?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He said: \u201cOh, that\u2019s easy. Intentional.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mr. Intentional. That\u2019s been the nickname that we\u2019ve given you around here as a result of that\u2014Mr. Intentional. This is all about being intentional; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, and even though I questioned my son\u2019s judgment in terms of that, he did reflect back. I have done a poll with my kids. Yes, I think I\u2019ve been pretty intentional over the years. Barbara and I have\u2014well, frankly, I think she\u2019s had as much of an impact upon me in doing planning and thinking strategically than what I brought to the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, it takes two. I think we serve one another in that regard in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We have a couple with us\u2014Steve and Candice Watters join us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> You guys come about this honestly. Candice, tell the truth. Was it you that brought the strategic planning to your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>No. In fact, Steve brought it up first when we were dating\u2014and said, \u201cLet\u2019s go plan our holiday month.\u201d It was the beginning of December. It started then, and we have been planning ever since.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You guys did tie the knot. You went on to have four children\u2014been married since 1997. You\u2019re Vice President of Communications for Southern Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. Tell us how you really became so intentional about strategic planning, as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>I think what started it is truly\u2014before that Christmas planning, we had been up to a new cottage that Candice\u2019s parents had bought on a lake, up in Michigan. Something about that lake house made you want to dream big and think big thoughts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCandice and I were already beginning to think of our life together and projects we were working on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we went back, nine months later, after that Christmas planning. We had gotten married. We spent some of our post-honeymoon period there\u2014spent a lot of time between, actually, waiting for some new jobs to start. It gave us lots of time to think and dream. So, something about that place was special. Our first year of marriage\u2014we decided, right after the Christmas time, to head up to that cottage, and just dream, and plan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the next year, I got inspired for some reason. I gave Candice a door knocker for Christmas. I said, \u201cHow about, this year, we accessorize this door knocker with a house?\u201d We went back to the cottage again and said, \u201cLet\u2019s go figure out how we can find a way to build a house\u2014to actually do this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>No\u2014no, we weren\u2019t always so strategic, I think, though, because you have to know\u2014that second time, we went out to eat; and we wrote out our plan on the back of the placemat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a paper placemat. We went back to the cottage. We thought, \u201cHey, wouldn\u2019t it be cool if we hid this somewhere at this house, and then we\u2019ll come back in a year and see how we did on our plan?\u201d So we climbed up on the kitchen counter and taped it to one of the soffits, where no one would see it over the summer, and came back a year later\u2014and got that plan down, and looked at it, and said, \u201cHey, we didn\u2019t do too bad; but I wonder if we would have done more if we\u2019d actually taken the plan with us so we could refer back to it.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I understand that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As you\u2019re describing that, I\u2019m thinking\u2014Mary Ann and I have dreamed together on occasion\u2014gone off. We\u2019ve been in those down times when you can just take a breath, and you can look toward the future and think, \u201cWhat do we want to be about?\u201d But there\u2019s a big gap between dreaming and implementing. I think there are a lot of couples, who have dreams or hopes or desires for the future, but to turn that into reality is where they start to hiccup.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They don\u2019t know where to start. First of all, you have to take the time to pull back and out of the swirl. I used to compare what Barbara and I did, in terms of planning, to canoeing on a river.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a spot north of here called the Buffalo River. It\u2019s a spectacular national river that is not all that difficult, but it does have some rapids that can turn your canoe over if you\u2019re not careful. I compare what we did to pulling our canoe off to the side, walking downstream a bit, and taking a look at how other people were navigating the rapids, trying to learn how you are going to steer this thing to get through this spot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s one spot called Grey Rock. If you don\u2019t go in to it right and come out of it right, you\u2019re going to turn your canoe over. Well, a lot of couples don\u2019t take the time to step out of the stream, step out of the busyness of life, and take a look at: \u201cWhere are we headed? Where are the currents of life taking us, and how do we want to be more proactive and on the offensive and not just react defensively?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHave you all found that to be true as well?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Absolutely. I think that is the primary issue\u2014is that we will be busy. We will do things. The question is: \u201cHow much of it will we be intentional about? How much of it will we actually take that time to ask, \u2018What are the most important things?\u2019 so that we\u2019re not just filling up our calendar.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCandice and I were looking at some time-use calendars\u2014kind of some studies on how people spend their time. I was surprised to realize the average American spends \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t34 hours a week watching television; and then another 3 to 6 hours with some kind of recorded program, or movie, or whatever; and then 23 hours a week with social media\u2014texting, emailing, and checking Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\/Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014and realizing that is time that is being used somehow. Obviously, there are a lot of positive ways you can use that\u2014there\u2019s information, there\u2019s a lot of time just some relaxing and entertaining\u2014but that\u2019s a big chunk of time that people are using.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so just stopping to ask: \u201cHow could we use a few hours of that differently?\u2014in a more constructive way\u2014to make sure that\u2019s not what\u2019s setting our agenda, but we\u2019re actually\u2014we\u2019ve got a compass that has a biblical orientation to it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>I think, too, the thing that we\u2019ve found is that people tend to be very proactive in January. They have New Year\u2019s resolutions\u2014and they\u2019re going to plan their money, they\u2019re going to plan their work, they might plan their vacation. They\u2019re going to plan all these important things; but they\u2019re not going to stop and say: \u201cHow are we going to plan our marriage this year? How are we going to be intentional about discipling each of our children, based on their ages and their spiritual development?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are the things that do require, Dennis, like you said\u2014to step out of the water \/ to step out of the stream and to be quiet before the Lord, and pray, and read the Word, and say: \u201cGod, what are we supposed to do this year? What do You want us to do? How can we be fruitful this year?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it\u2019s not just a matter of creating a bucket list of some things you want to go do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It really is taking a step back and going\u2014well, for instance, you guys have a 14-, a 12-\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>A 12-, a 7- and a 5-year-old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you\u2019re in the thick of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, you\u2019re shaping the lives of these four, and you\u2019re headed somewhere with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And if you don\u2019t know where you\u2019re headed with your children, the world does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The world has a good system of communicating its values and impressing them on these little hearts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s why we, at the beginning of each year, we stop and we ask: \u201cOkay, what year are our children turning? What year is this in our marriage? What stage are we at? What things are significant?\u201d That\u2019s what caused us, ahead of time, to say: \u201cYou know what? This is a <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> year. This is the year that we need to get it on the books. We need to plan.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we had plenty of experiences where we recognized some things too late\u2014where we realized there were things that\u2014it would have been good to have seen this coming on the calendar and gotten a plan together\u2014instead of backing our way into it. By starting that process, earlier in the year, we were able to book the place for the <em>Passport2Purity.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were able to plan for our son\u2019s 13<sup>th<\/sup> birthday, where we actually got to do a lot of the things that were meaningful because we had the time and the preparation to go into it, proactively.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And a part of this whole idea of strategic thinking is not just about your marriage, as you\u2019ve said; but it\u2019s also thinking about: \u201cWhat age are our kids? What are the issues they are going to be facing?\u201d I know, as you guys sit down and map out a year, you really pull back and say: \u201cOkay, we have a 14-year-old. So, what\u2019s on the horizon for that 14-year-old; and what are the things we need to be intentionally addressing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then the next step is: \u201cOkay, if that\u2019s what we want to do, now, how are we going to do it? When are we going to do it?\u201d\u2014starting to really fit it into your plan for the year ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>You know, I think it is something that is not that unusual for people to do\u2014strategic planning at the office. I think the problem is\u2014marriage and family is what gets squeezed out. I think it\u2019s recognizing that it\u2019s marriage and family that gets pushed to the edge\u2014that we said, \u201cThat is important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe don\u2019t want other urgent, pressing things squeezing out what\u2019s important,\u201d\u2014recognizing this is something we need to bring intentionality and urgency to it because no one else in our lives is going to for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think what happened to us is\u2014we started having children, and I don\u2019t remember us ever having a strategic planning time. But after you\u2019ve had six children\u2014you have six kids under the age of ten\u2014if you don\u2019t have a plan, it is chaos.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, even if you do have a plan\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s chaos.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014it\u2019s chaos! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But with a plan, you can be headed somewhere. I really do have Barbara to thank in terms of coming alongside me and saying: \u201cYou know, Sweetheart, we really need to plan. We really need to have a conversation about where this thing is going\u2014and where each child is going\u2014and what values, what character qualities we want to build into each child,\u201d because every one of our children are very different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey all had different character needs\u2014different needs, in terms of development\u2014than the other ones did. If you\u2019re not intentional about that\u2014if you don\u2019t have that reduced down in writing somewhere to say, \u201cWhere are we headed for this year?\u201d\u2014If you don\u2019t, you\u2019re just going to play defense. You\u2019re going to run your fool head off\u2014running around to Little League, to soccer, to all the practices\u2014and never really make an impact in the child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Tell our listeners about the project you\u2019ve been working on\u2014that we\u2019ve been partnered together on\u2014because I think this is exciting. I think everybody understands the challenge, and they\u2019re just looking for some help in how to do this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got together and thought: \u201cOkay, what if we made that help available in an interactive mobile environment?\u2014put that in a digital setting on an app for the iPhone<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or for the iPad<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or for an Android\u2014where people could do their planning and store their planning on their phone. Maybe folks would have a shot at being able to get some of this stuff done.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>This is something we were excited to see happen because Candice and I\u2014along the way, we\u2019d have friends who would find out that we\u2019d done some planning. They\u2019d say, \u201cOh, that\u2019d be great to do.\u201d We would start trying to walk them through what we did, and we\u2019d realize that it doesn\u2019t always translate. It\u2019s not as convenient to help someone\u2014distance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe started getting excited\u2014realizing there are some nice technologies available now to help people to capture those ideas\u2014to look at a framework for what is important\u2014be able to take some time \/ to be intentional about capturing that\u2014and then to be able to have the ability to get some reminders \/ to get some notifications that help you live out that plan that you\u2019ve committed to\u2014especially the opportunity to look at your routine \/ to look at the things that are pressing in on your life\u2014and be able to continue to hold up marriage and family, in the midst of all that busyness, and have it stand out from the clutter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think the point that you make\u2014to have it instantly accessible on your hip\u2014your planning is being carried with you\u2014or in your purse. I guess I defaulted to where mine usually is, right there on my hip\u2014in your pocket. I think that ups the ante in terms of your ability to accomplish what you wanted to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In fact, we kind of rushed by something you said, Steve, that I want to underline. You talked about reminders. Digital is a great way to be reminded of something you promised each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Just a chance to be reminded: \u201cHow are you doing on that goal that you and Candice set at the beginning of the year?\u201d If we have those reminders, on a regular basis\u2014there\u2019s nothing like that reminder and the accountability of knowing that your spouse also got the same reminder, at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>And one of the powerful things about that, Dennis, is the way that it fosters oneness between a husband and a wife because you\u2019ve taken time, at the beginning of the year, to set a framework. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is a commitment\u2014now you both are on the same page. So, when the reminder comes up, you have the entre\u2014you have permission then to maybe have some conversations\u2014where, in the past, it would just sound like nagging. Now it\u2019s just saying: \u201cHey, honey, let\u2019s revisit what we talked about. How are we doing?\u201d It keeps you honest. It holds you accountable; and I think it builds oneness because you\u2019re on the same journey together\u2014heading in the same direction that you both agreed to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>But I think that really is the key issue\u2014that we have to stop and recognize the threats to our oneness\u2014that we have an enemy who doesn\u2019t like oneness among believers. There are so many times in which Christ is saying, \u201cBe one, as the Father and the Spirit and I are one,\u201d\u2014that we are marked, as believers, by our oneness\u2014and very much so in our marriages, as believers. Oneness is what is reflecting God. It is our testimony to the world around us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, anything the enemy can do\u2014to drive wedges between us \/ to push couples apart\u2014and he has a lot to work with\u2014in a culture in which we are going in different directions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have jobs and careers pushing us in different directions. We have technology that\u2019s driving us in different directions, and we have a culture of individualism where everybody is focused on their own needs. You have marriages that are kind of people with individual agendas coming together\u2014living as roommates\u2014who really don\u2019t know what it means to live as one. It\u2019s hard work to be one, but that\u2019s what God is calling us to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You really are touching on something that has caused many an argument between Barbara and me. We have probably had more \u201cstimulating discussions\u201d [Laughter] around our calendar, and our schedule, and our commitments than anything else we\u2019ve faced, as a couple. There\u2019s a reason for that\u2014the calendar is a place where your values show up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is the place where they are lived out. I like the question you guys ask as you kind of build out your planning process. You ask the question: \u201cDoes your schedule know that you\u2019re married?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re implying that some couples really are two individual people, doing their own thing \/ being successful, but their lives aren\u2019t intersecting at much of any point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Yes. You think about the couples who get married but keep separate checking accounts and other things that communicate that they\u2019re individuals. I think very much the same thing is true with their schedules\u2014their calendars don\u2019t overlap. You don\u2019t see any regular date nights\u2014and other opportunities to continually be connecting, and being one, and on the same page\u2014and plenty of opportunities where one is scheduling something and the other person never knows about it until it happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s never happened in our marriage. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Well, when you bring the kids into it, too, they get excited. If you sit your kids down in January and say: \u201cGuys, here are the big rocks\u2014here are the big things we\u2019re going to try to fit into the vase, if you will, of our life this year. Then we\u2019ll fit all the little stuff around them, but here are the big things.\u201d If you put a list on the fridge and they can see that, they get excited. They hold you accountable too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey say: \u201cHey, Dad. I can\u2019t wait for that trip that\u2019s coming up this summer. What are we going to do to get ready?\u201d The more you bring your kids in\u2014the more it builds unity in your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And the thing is, Candice, if they see the big rocks like you\u2019re talking about, it makes it easier to say no to some of the other \u201cgood\u201d things that come their way that they want to go do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>Right. You\u2019re teaching them how to set priorities. \u201cYou know, we can\u2019t do it all. So, if we\u2019re going to do this, then we can\u2019t do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, does your schedule know that you\u2019re married, Candice?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>It does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How does it know it? [Laughter] I\u2019d like some proof.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice: <\/strong>I think the biggest way it knows is that Steve and I have a standing date, if you will, on Sundays. We just sit down with our schedules and say, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on this week?\u201d I know when Steve is going to be home for lunch. I know when I\u2019m going to have a free day\u2014that he\u2019s not coming home\u2014and I can plan something else in that slot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur kids know that he\u2019s going to be home for dinner at night. We know, going into a week, what the commitments are. I\u2019m able to count on having face time with him every day\u2014not Face Time on an iPhone\u2014but real live touch points \/ communication\u2014sit down and time to pray together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have all of these things built into our routine, and then our routine works for us because we\u2019re connecting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>I think the routine is the key issue\u2014that we all have routines. Even if we haven\u2019t stopped to think about our routines, there are those things we do on a regular basis. We just get into those grooves. The question is: \u201cDoes your routine know that you\u2019re married? Does your routine know your values?\u201d The reality is\u2014 a lot of things in our routine aren\u2019t necessarily moving us along towards the things that really matter in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And for you, the routine involved a date night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>So, the date night is a big part of it\u2014the date night with our kids\u2014so a Daddy Date Night. The routine of family discipleship\u2014the routine of our Friday morning discipleship time that I have with my son on one Friday \/ and the other one, Candice with our oldest daughter\u2014these kind of things that we get into our routine. Then we know our routine is working for us because it\u2019s a commitment we\u2019ve made. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeveral mornings we\u2019ve woken up and thought: \u201cOh, man! It\u2019s Friday morning. It\u2019s that discipleship thing, and I\u2019ve got such-and-such going on,\u201d\u2014but we made the commitment\u2014\u201cLet\u2019s do it.\u201d We always come back from it, saying, \u201cThat was the most important thing I did all week.\u201d It does require rethinking soccer, and music lessons, and other things like that; but if you think about what parents are called to do\u2014there are some primary things, and there are some secondary things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve let so many secondary things\u2014like sports and music lessons\u2014become the primary things on the calendar. We squeeze to the margin those primary things that God has made very clear are our responsibilities.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>For us, that Sunday night date night was survival. Bob, did you have one with Mary Ann?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We didn\u2019t have it regularly. I remember Mary Ann throwing in the flag, on a number of occasions, and saying: \u201cHey, we need a time out here. We have to get our calendars in alignment,\u201d because, if you\u2019re not deliberate about doing it, then you do find yourself drifting apart; and you find yourself frustrated: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI didn\u2019t know you were...\u201d \u201cWhat? You never told me about that!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>See, our date night started out kind of more of a\u2014like a romantic date night\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014but it ended up being more of an arm wrestling contest around the schedule. [Laughter] I mean, our schedules\u2014with a husband, and a wife, plus six kids\u2014you had a lot of activity that was just one wave after another hitting you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrankly, I do not know how you can raise kids in this culture today if you don\u2019t have that island of clarity\u2014that moment when you pull your canoe out of the stream \/ pull off to the side\u2014take a look at where everybody else is heading, how the currents are moving you along, and say, \u201cWhat can we do to be proactive about leading our family in the right direction?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s not like you need six kids to need that island of clarity. You need that island of clarity in the midst of whatever you have going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou need to have some time where the two of you can just really focus on what you want your priorities to be. This past weekend, at the <em>I Still Do<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> event that we hosted in Chicago, we shared with the audience that was there the new FamilyLife Grow app\u2014so that a husband and a wife can get their smartphones\u2014and they can work together to develop a plan that they can sync with their calendar and work into the fabric of their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wanted to make sure our listeners knew about this as well. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. The information is available there about the new FamilyLifeGrow app<em>.<\/em> It\u2019s free. It has a lot more content than just the planning tool that Steve and Candice have done\u2014there are other resources to help strengthen your marriage and your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should also mention that, while we were in Chicago this past weekend at <em>I Still Do,<\/em> we were challenging the folks, who were there, to make one of their priorities\u2014getting engaged with other couples and helping to strengthen marriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of people, who were at the event, took advantage of a special offer we were making on our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>small group material and our <em>Stepping Up<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>small group series for men. So, I asked, \u201cCan we make that same offer available to our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners? And they said, \u201cNo, we can\u2019t make that same offer available; but we do have a special offer we\u2019ll put together for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You can get information about the special offer we\u2019re making, this week, on <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> and <em>Stepping Up<\/em>\u2014in fact, many of our small group resources. There is a special offer involved this week. So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find the information available there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, of course, those of you who live in Portland, we are headed your way\u2014<em>I Still Do<\/em>\u2014Saturday, August 23<sup>rd<\/sup>, at the Moda Center.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe still have tickets available. Go online to IStillDo.com for more information about how you can attend this one-day celebration of the marriage covenant for couples\u2014coming to Portland here in a couple of weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a quick \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who help make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible\u2014help make the new app that we\u2019ve just developed possible. Thanks for your support of all that\u2019s happening, here at <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> We appreciate your partnership with us. Right now, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d if you can help us with a donation by making available a set of seven activities\u2014recipes for helping to develop your child\u2019s faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are some fun activities for the whole family. They are our way of saying \u201cThank you,\u201d when you help support this ministry. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014in the upper right-hand corner, where it says, \u201cI Care,\u201d\u2014click that link. You can make your online donation. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone. Be sure to mention that you\u2019d like the seven recipe cards for developing your child\u2019s faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr mail your email address to us, along with your donation, to P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. The zip code is 72223. We\u2019ll send you a link so that you can download these recipe cards and start having some fun with your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we hope you can join us back tomorrow. We\u2019re going to continue to talk about priorities in our marriage and in our family. Steve and Candice Watters will be here. Hope you can be here as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303151"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303151"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303151"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303151"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}