{"id":303149,"date":"2014-08-01T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-08-01T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/lies-that-tempt-us\/"},"modified":"2014-08-01T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-08-01T15:00:00","slug":"lies-that-tempt-us","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-that-tempt-us\/","title":{"rendered":"Lies that Tempt Us"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you been listening to Satan&#8217;s lies? Author Marian Jordan Ellis cautions women everywhere not to swallow Satan&#8217;s bait and believe the lies he&#8217;s been peddling since Creation began.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-01.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.79M","filesize_raw":"23898668","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2093],"tags":[2320,4893,4763,2926],"podcast_series":[8028],"cwp_profile":[9349],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303149","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-women","tag-purity","tag-sexual-temptation","tag-single-women","tag-singles","podcast_series-sex-and-the-single-christian-girl","cwp_profile-marian-jordan-ellis","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303149\/lies-that-tempt-us","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303149\/lies-that-tempt-us","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"RgZvtbsTbH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-that-tempt-us\/\">Lies that Tempt Us<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lies-that-tempt-us\/embed\/#?secret=RgZvtbsTbH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Lies that Tempt Us&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"RgZvtbsTbH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-01.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-01.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a single young woman, Marian Jordan Ellis was a party girl, who ultimately came to Christ\u2014read what the Bible had to say about purity and embraced celibacy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>My life wasn\u2019t about following a rule that says, \u201cI can\u2019t have sex before marriage.\u201d\u00a0 The vision of my life was: \u201cI love Jesus because Jesus redeemed me. I want to stand before Him and honor Him with my life.\u201d\u00a0 So, therefore, that vision, and that call, and that being gripped and consecrated to God\u2014because Jesus is better\u2014that influenced everything about me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. How do single young men and single young women win the battle for purity in their relationships?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk with Marian Jordan Ellis about that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I think a lot of moms and dads look at the culture in which we are trying to raise our children; and they think the solution for how you raise your kids in this kind of a culture is to build the highest wall and the deepest moat around your house that you can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>[Laughter] And then, not let your kids go out until they are about 30. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right!\u00a0 And that strategy isn\u2019t going to work!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, it\u2019s not because you can\u2019t run from the world. You\u2019ve got to teach your children how to walk with Christ, love Christ, and embrace Christ and His Word as they live out their lives in the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have the author of <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl<\/em>, Marian Jordan Ellis, joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, Marian. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>It\u2019s great to be here. Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She and her husband have two sons. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey live in San Antonio, and she has a ministry called Redeemed Girl Ministries. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been talking about temptation, and we didn\u2019t get through your list earlier of all the temptations the enemy throws at us to get us derailed from following Christ\u2014especially in this area of sexual immorality. The first one is: \u201cBut we\u2019re in love. It\u2019s okay.\u201d\u00a0 The second one, you say, is: \u201cBut we\u2019re getting married someday.\u201d\u00a0 Then, finally, the world is screaming at young people today saying, \u201cSex is no big deal.\u201d\u00a0 It just minimizes the impact of sex. Continue on with your list, Marian, because I really want moms and dads to equip their children; but I also think there are probably listeners, right now, who may be tempted with one of these lies in his or her life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I\u2019m glad you said that. We actually had a man write into our ministry, who was dating a Christian woman. He said, \u201cThis book changed my life.\u201d\u00a0 He goes, \u201cI had no idea what temptation really was\u2014that it was spiritual warfare\u2014nor did I recognize the lies that my girlfriend was hearing that would be also affecting me, as a man.\u201d\u00a0 That shed a light on me because it\u2019s not just the woman who is hearing the lies\u2014the man, as well, because she is struggling with it\u2014she\u2019s bringing that into the relationship. So\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And if I might just say, that means moms and dads need to train both their daughters and their sons\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014in knowing how to spot these lies because we are equipping both halves of a relationship to know how to handle it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Maybe if one of them listens to God, they\u2019ll be okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes. It helps when both are!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>So, number four, women will hear the lie: \u201cI will feel more secure if\u2026.\u2014that \u201cif\u201d is\u2014\u201che desires me sexually or if I have sex with him.\u201d\u00a0 I talked about it in the previous broadcast\u2014that we have a battleground of three areas: the world, the flesh, and Satan. Our flesh is our sinful nature\u2014but those temptations are targeting that. One of the biggest weak points, for a woman, is her identity. So, if a woman\u2019s identity is being built on how she looks or on a man\u2019s opinion, then, she is more susceptible to the temptation and the lies\u2014if she\u2019s building her identity upon that rather than on who God says she is. So, the desire to feel secure is a big lie that the enemy uses because he says: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You\u2019ve gained five pounds; but if you\u2019re attractive to him and if you turn him on, then, you\u2019ll feel better about yourself.\u201d\u00a0 You see how subtle that is?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a girl write me and say: \u201cThe times I\u2019ve felt a strong temptation towards sexual sin, since I\u2019ve been a Christian, have all been tied to my insecurities\u2014mostly about how I look. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhen I\u2019m feeling unhappy with my body, I hear a faint whisper say: \u2018There are definitely men out there who find you attractive and beautiful. It can\u2019t be too hard to find them.\u2019\u00a0 The thought would lead to the idea that, if I hooked up with a guy, that experience would put my insecurities to rest because it would be proof that I\u2019m desirable.\u201d\u00a0 She wanted proof that she was desirable. So, the enemy was whispering, \u201cWell, if you go and sleep with this guy, then, you will have that proof.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Can you relate to what she\u2019s saying there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014thinking back and thinking, \u201cI\u2019m desirable\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right; right. What I talk about in the book so much is the identity of who you are because, when that is solidified, then, these lies\u2014because the enemy does not stop tempting us when we become a Christian\u2014but the lies don\u2019t have the power to take root when we have the foundation of truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother lie he says\u2014a girl would believe is that sex would bring love: \u201cHe will love me more if I have sex with him.\u201d\u00a0 I think a lot of girls, who desire that relationship\u2014we are all wired for intimacy. We\u2019re wired for relationships, and we want that; but we think we have to trade something to get it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I really try to encourage women to understand is a man, who truly loves you, will wait for you. A man who truly loves you is going to cherish you and honor you. The thing that they are trading for is lust because lust is what takes. Lust is taking. Love is giving. I try to combat that lie of \u201cHe will love me if I have sex with him\u201d with: \u201cHe\u2019s not actually loving you. He\u2019s lusting you.\u201d\u00a0 To know the difference is your own freedom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I really agree with you. I want to just go back to something you said earlier and just read Proverbs, Chapter 31. This is speaking about a godly woman: \u201cCharm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Beauty is going to fade. I mean, the aging process is cruel to both men and women; but I think women absorb it in a far more personal manner than men do. But what the Scriptures are commanding women\u2014and as far as that goes, men, as well\u2014we are to fear God. There is where you find your identity\u2014when you know who God is and you know who you are in relationship to Him because you are accountable to Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s really what you\u2019re talking about\u2014is a woman who has a vision\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand we\u2019re going to talk about this in a moment\u2014a vision for purity. This is where it starts right here\u2014fearing God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And a lot of young people today have dumbed down what purity means. I mean, one of the lies you talk about in the book is the lie that purity means, \u201cAs long as you\u2019re not having intercourse, you\u2019re pure.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Anything else is okay; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>The predominate lie is that everything, except intercourse, is fair game. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talk to women, all the time, who are recognizing that they grew up in the youth group mindset that said, \u201cAs long as I\u2019m not having intercourse, I\u2019m okay.\u201d They\u2019re now having to deal with the fact that they were sexually-intimate with men\u2014many spend the night in their boyfriend\u2019s dorm room\u2014and those things were not pure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what I\u2019m trying to educate young women is to understand that the pursuit of purity is the pursuit of Christ, and to honor Him, and that God calls us to keep the marriage bed pure. So, those things\u2014everything is sacred. Everything is sacred. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Marian, you don\u2019t know this about Barbara and me\u2014but when we were in the thick of it with four teenage daughters and a couple of sons in that age range\u2014we told our kids that virginity is not the goal to arrive at your marriage bed\u2014with it intact. There is something much larger and much more important at stake. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we taught our kids was Romans, Chapter 16, verse 19. Paul writes: \u201cFor your obedience is known to all so that I rejoice over you.\u201d\u00a0 Then, he says\u2014you can almost hear a father\u2014a father appealing to a son or a daughter here\u2014he said, \u201cBut I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil\u201d\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014innocent of foolishness \/ innocent of moral wrongdoing. I think the average parent is shooting for the wrong goal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They need to be challenging their children to stay as far away from evil as they possibly can. And Bob, you know in the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> getaway\u2014that we have for a father and a son or a mother and a daughter around the age of 10, 11, 12\u2014we challenge the fathers and the sons to engage in a little practical project, where we challenge them to draw the lines in terms of how far they\u2019re going to go with the opposite sex\u2014as far away from the cliff\u2014as far away from intercourse as they possibly can draw them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And so, I\u2019m curious\u2014if you\u2019re talking to young women on a college campus and they say, \u201cOkay, so, as a Christian woman, what can I do?\u201d\u00a0 What do you tell them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>You know, my favorite line\u2014and someone told me this when I was a new believer\u2014they said, \u201cKeep the small things sacred.\u201d\u00a0 That holding someone\u2019s hand should be the biggest deal in the world\u2014like I shouldn\u2019t be making the big things my boundary line\u2014that I should hold those small things so sacred that they\u2019re a huge deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, let me stop you here. When you speak to a group of Christian young ladies\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and you talk about keeping the small things sacred like that; do they laugh?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>They\u2019ve never thought about it before. You can kind of see the surprise in their eyes. When I talk about\u2014and I just set it up like: \u201cThe first time my husband held my hand,\u201d\u2014just like and just how sacred and special those things are\u2014and just waiting for your\u2014like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I wish our listeners could see her face right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Oh!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s too bad this is not TV because she\u2019s glowing right now!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There\u2019s a beam here, yes!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was a big deal!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes! Those things are special. We\u2019ve lost romance because we\u2019ve fallen into this sex-crazed culture. We\u2019ve traded in the beauty of being pursued, and the beauty of waiting, and the beauty of being cherished, and really, the beauty of being treated like a treasure. I just\u2014I wish, for women, that they would believe who God says they are and expect men to treat them that way because we get the payoff; you know?\u00a0 Then, a man has to fight for you. He has to treat you like a princess\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There you go!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>You know\u2014it\u2019s so much better. God is so much better. He is so much better. So, I love to cast vision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when I\u2019m talking to women of any age, I love to cast a vision of\u2014when I say: \u201cJesus is better and His way is better, what does that mean?\u201d and, \u201cWhy are we blessed when we obey?\u00a0 Why are we\u2026\u201d\u2014I still wake up every single day and just think: \u201cGod, you are so good!\u00a0 I do not deserve this life I have. I don\u2019t deserve it. You are so good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Marian, throughout this conversation, we\u2019ve kind of painted a picture of women resisting the advances of aggressive men\u2014that women need to learn how to play defense and how to resist guys who are going to be putting pressure on them to trade their purity for something. But Dennis wrote a book called <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em> because the reality is there are a lot of guys who are getting pulled into this by girls who are coming at them saying, \u201cWhatever you want!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I\u2019m glad you said that because I say it\u2019s not just the boys who are aggressive!\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a kindergartner\u2014who the girls circle him and try to kiss him. We have to show him how to be defensive because it is a culture of aggression. And so, no, it\u2019s not just the boys. Women\u2014part of what we talk about in the renewing of the mind and understanding\u2014is beginning to see ourselves as God sees us and beginning to realign with who we are in Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of that aggressive culture is coming from a woman seeing herself as a sexual object and seeing her identity as sexuality and finding power there. So, she feels powerful when she\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>\u2014can seduce. And you know, that is a longer conversation than we have time for; but the seductive spirit in that is control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But if a woman recognizes that that\u2019s a part of her personality\u2014that she does want that control and she has been seducing guys\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014what does she do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Repent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, really. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>And I\u2014when I talk about the lies in the book\u2014the undercurrent of that nature that we\u2019re talking about\u2014that seduction\u2014is that element of security we talked about. She believes that lie that \u201cI\u2019m going to be secure if I can have control of him.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat repentance means\u2014and I don\u2019t mean that jokingly because, as believers, we need repentance every day as much as an unbeliever does\u2014it\u2019s turning from the sin pattern that we are in, agreeing with God, embracing forgiveness, and asking the Holy Spirit to enable us to change. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when a woman can see her pattern of: \u201cI\u2019m actively trying to seduce men\u2014maybe a man in my church with how I dress or how I talk\u2014what\u2019s my motivation there?\u00a0 What lie am I believing that\u2019s leading me to act like this to a brother in Christ?\u201d\u00a0 I think the \u201cwhy\u201d behind an action is the most important question. So, if we can get women to stop and recognize: \u201cWhy do I want to tempt him?\u00a0 Why does that make me feel powerful? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat lie am I believing about my identity that I am deriving from this control?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, but some of the women, who are listening, are going: \u201cHere is another word for a non-aggressive woman\u2014lonely, dateless. These are synonyms for\u2014\u2018If I don\u2019t get out there and try to lure these guys\u2014these guys have just been trained to sit back and wait for the girls to come to them\u2014and the girls are doing it. So, if I don\u2019t do that, I\u2019m just going to be sitting at home alone on Friday night or in a group over in a corner with nobody paying any attention to me.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, I\u2019ve got to ask you this question\u2014\u201cWould you encourage a young lady to flirt?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I was so scared of sinning when I was a Christian woman in my church. They called me the ice princess. So, men would call me unapproachable. I would say that was one extreme. The other extreme is to be the aggressor and the pursuer. I think there is a happy medium where what true femininity is\u2014is being responsive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod made women to be responders. I believe that you can be authentic, and fun, and a lovely, delightful person, and laugh when a guy tells a joke if he\u2019s funny or just make him feel better if he\u2019s not. [Laughter] I think you can be encouraging without being aggressive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to learn, as my husband was pursuing me in dating, that I had to let a little bit of the wall down to be relatable. But flirting, I think it\u2019s how you are defining that. If you\u2019re defining that by being aggressive, I don\u2019t think a woman should be aggressive; but I think she can be responsive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If a guy smiles at you, it\u2019s okay to smile back?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>It is okay to smile back!\u00a0 It\u2019s okay to laugh. It\u2019s okay to have fun. But how we dress, how we walk, how we talk, how we insinuate\u2014it all just comes back to: \u201cWhere is your heart?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>To me, I start and end this book with loving Jesus. I start and end this book with having a vision for your life and a vision for why you live as \u201cI belong to Him\u201d\u2014being consecrated to Christ. Therefore, all of your actions and behavior are going to flow out of that because it\u2019s not about keeping rules. It\u2019s about knowing why you live. And I write in the book that rules will be broken, but visions are lived. And that\u2019s one of my guiding principles in life. And for me, the vision behind purity and the vision behind how a single Christian woman is to live\u2014is it shapes everything about her. And this vision of \u201cI love Jesus, and I belong to Him\u201d\u2014and that is the driving force behind everything in her life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s her identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s her identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I started thinking about the power of vision, my life wasn\u2019t about following a rule that says, \u201cI can\u2019t have sex before marriage.\u201d\u00a0 The vision of my life was: \u201cI love Jesus because Jesus redeemed me, and I want to stand before Him and honor Him with my life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, therefore, that vision, and that call, and that being gripped and consecrated to God because Jesus is better\u2014that influenced everything about me\u2014so that, when my husband and I were dating, and when the whisper in your head says: \u201cJust sleep over. It\u2019s no big deal,\u201d we would stand at the door and say, \u201cGoodnight, I love you; but I love Jesus more.\u201d\u00a0 That vision led us to behavior, but a lot of people get it backward. They want the rules to lead behavior, but they have to have the vision of why they are doing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I just have to know, how long were you engaged?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>A very short time!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You would recommend that to others; wouldn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I think long engagements are stupid. So\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Give me a fist bump here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I were engaged for six weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Three months. It was only because we dated a year and got engaged New Year\u2019s Eve and got married in April. So, it was almost four months. We planned this amazing wedding, out at my family\u2019s farm, at the barn. I was booked for speaking engagements\u2014it was the only reason it wasn\u2019t one day sooner; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I have to tell you my son and daughter-in-law got engaged in April, planned a December wedding, and called in August and said: \u201cUh-uh. We\u2019re not going to get there.\u201d\u00a0 So, September was when they got married. And I met a couple, this weekend. They said: \u201cYes, we\u2019re engaged. We\u2019re getting married in about five months\u201d; and they said, \u201cBut we almost got married this weekend.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right; right. And I had friends who planned the big party but went to their pastor and said, \u201cWould you just marry us?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think we need to start a movement of that, personally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019d be for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>My parents met and got married three months later after they met. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not supporting that totally, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They\u2019re still married; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They\u2019re you go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>The dating culture, as a whole, we could do a whole subject on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just have to conclude this series of broadcasts\u2014because you have done a great job, by the way, Marian. And I just appreciate you. Thanks for your book. Folks need to get this for their own kids, for themselves, for a friend. Pass it on to a single person you know. They need to get a copy of this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I want you to listen to the Scriptures. These are God\u2019s Words found in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Thessalonians, Chapter 4: \u201cFor this is the will of God, your sanctification; that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother or his sister in this matter because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and have solemnly warned you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.\u201d\u00a0 And I might add, \u201cWho gives the Holy Spirit to you to help you obey God and to be His child.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, and He gives us one another. He gives us the body of Christ and community to help us be conformed to the image of Christ. So, a conversation like we\u2019ve had today\u2014getting a copy of a book like the one Marian has written, <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl<\/em>. It\u2019s about how we come alongside one another and cheer one another on in our race to be sanctified. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do have copies of Marian\u2019s book, <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl: Fighting for Purity in a Rom-Com World<\/em>. We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what to do if you\u2019d like to get a copy: Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Upper left-hand corner of the screen, it says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 Click that link. It\u2019ll take you to a part of our website where you can order a copy of Marian\u2019s book. Or if you\u2019d prefer to call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014about a 90-second phone call\u2014we can make arrangements to have a copy of the book sent to you. Again, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; and the toll-free number is 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, of course, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to be at the <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> marriage celebration in Chicago\u2014pretty excited about that\u2014three weeks from tomorrow at the <em>I Still Do<\/em> in Portland, Oregon, out at the Moda Center\u2014then, October 4<sup>th<\/sup> in Washington, DC. Of course, these events are all designed to help strengthen marriages \/ help all of us go the distance in our marriages with joy and with the gospel at the center of all that we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you know what?\u00a0 We could not host events like this\u2014have this daily radio program and the website that goes with it\u2014and all that we\u2019re doing here, at FamilyLife\u2014couldn\u2019t do it without listeners, like you, who share our vision to see every home become a godly home. We do appreciate those of you who support this program and who help keep it on this radio station. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we would like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a message that Dennis Rainey gave at an <em>I Still Do<\/em> event a number of years ago\u2014a message about the importance of every marriage being built on a solid spiritual foundation. Request that CD when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care.\u201d\u00a0 Make an online donation, or call to make a donation over the phone\u20141-800-FL-TODAY\u2014and ask for the CD from Dennis Rainey when you do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can write to us. Mail a check and request the CD. Our mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us. Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. See you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. 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you been listening to Satan's lies? Author Marian Jordan Ellis cautions women everywhere not to swallow Satan's bait and believe the lies he's been peddling since Creation began.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-08-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a single young woman, Marian Jordan Ellis was a party girl, who ultimately came to Christ\u2014read what the Bible had to say about purity and embraced celibacy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>My life wasn\u2019t about following a rule that says, \u201cI can\u2019t have sex before marriage.\u201d\u00a0 The vision of my life was: \u201cI love Jesus because Jesus redeemed me. I want to stand before Him and honor Him with my life.\u201d\u00a0 So, therefore, that vision, and that call, and that being gripped and consecrated to God\u2014because Jesus is better\u2014that influenced everything about me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. How do single young men and single young women win the battle for purity in their relationships?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk with Marian Jordan Ellis about that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I think a lot of moms and dads look at the culture in which we are trying to raise our children; and they think the solution for how you raise your kids in this kind of a culture is to build the highest wall and the deepest moat around your house that you can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>[Laughter] And then, not let your kids go out until they are about 30. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right!\u00a0 And that strategy isn\u2019t going to work!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, it\u2019s not because you can\u2019t run from the world. You\u2019ve got to teach your children how to walk with Christ, love Christ, and embrace Christ and His Word as they live out their lives in the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have the author of <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl<\/em>, Marian Jordan Ellis, joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, Marian. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>It\u2019s great to be here. Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She and her husband have two sons. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey live in San Antonio, and she has a ministry called Redeemed Girl Ministries. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been talking about temptation, and we didn\u2019t get through your list earlier of all the temptations the enemy throws at us to get us derailed from following Christ\u2014especially in this area of sexual immorality. The first one is: \u201cBut we\u2019re in love. It\u2019s okay.\u201d\u00a0 The second one, you say, is: \u201cBut we\u2019re getting married someday.\u201d\u00a0 Then, finally, the world is screaming at young people today saying, \u201cSex is no big deal.\u201d\u00a0 It just minimizes the impact of sex. Continue on with your list, Marian, because I really want moms and dads to equip their children; but I also think there are probably listeners, right now, who may be tempted with one of these lies in his or her life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I\u2019m glad you said that. We actually had a man write into our ministry, who was dating a Christian woman. He said, \u201cThis book changed my life.\u201d\u00a0 He goes, \u201cI had no idea what temptation really was\u2014that it was spiritual warfare\u2014nor did I recognize the lies that my girlfriend was hearing that would be also affecting me, as a man.\u201d\u00a0 That shed a light on me because it\u2019s not just the woman who is hearing the lies\u2014the man, as well, because she is struggling with it\u2014she\u2019s bringing that into the relationship. So\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And if I might just say, that means moms and dads need to train both their daughters and their sons\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014in knowing how to spot these lies because we are equipping both halves of a relationship to know how to handle it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Maybe if one of them listens to God, they\u2019ll be okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes. It helps when both are!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>So, number four, women will hear the lie: \u201cI will feel more secure if\u2026.\u2014that \u201cif\u201d is\u2014\u201che desires me sexually or if I have sex with him.\u201d\u00a0 I talked about it in the previous broadcast\u2014that we have a battleground of three areas: the world, the flesh, and Satan. Our flesh is our sinful nature\u2014but those temptations are targeting that. One of the biggest weak points, for a woman, is her identity. So, if a woman\u2019s identity is being built on how she looks or on a man\u2019s opinion, then, she is more susceptible to the temptation and the lies\u2014if she\u2019s building her identity upon that rather than on who God says she is. So, the desire to feel secure is a big lie that the enemy uses because he says: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You\u2019ve gained five pounds; but if you\u2019re attractive to him and if you turn him on, then, you\u2019ll feel better about yourself.\u201d\u00a0 You see how subtle that is?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a girl write me and say: \u201cThe times I\u2019ve felt a strong temptation towards sexual sin, since I\u2019ve been a Christian, have all been tied to my insecurities\u2014mostly about how I look. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhen I\u2019m feeling unhappy with my body, I hear a faint whisper say: \u2018There are definitely men out there who find you attractive and beautiful. It can\u2019t be too hard to find them.\u2019\u00a0 The thought would lead to the idea that, if I hooked up with a guy, that experience would put my insecurities to rest because it would be proof that I\u2019m desirable.\u201d\u00a0 She wanted proof that she was desirable. So, the enemy was whispering, \u201cWell, if you go and sleep with this guy, then, you will have that proof.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Can you relate to what she\u2019s saying there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014thinking back and thinking, \u201cI\u2019m desirable\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right; right. What I talk about in the book so much is the identity of who you are because, when that is solidified, then, these lies\u2014because the enemy does not stop tempting us when we become a Christian\u2014but the lies don\u2019t have the power to take root when we have the foundation of truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother lie he says\u2014a girl would believe is that sex would bring love: \u201cHe will love me more if I have sex with him.\u201d\u00a0 I think a lot of girls, who desire that relationship\u2014we are all wired for intimacy. We\u2019re wired for relationships, and we want that; but we think we have to trade something to get it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I really try to encourage women to understand is a man, who truly loves you, will wait for you. A man who truly loves you is going to cherish you and honor you. The thing that they are trading for is lust because lust is what takes. Lust is taking. Love is giving. I try to combat that lie of \u201cHe will love me if I have sex with him\u201d with: \u201cHe\u2019s not actually loving you. He\u2019s lusting you.\u201d\u00a0 To know the difference is your own freedom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I really agree with you. I want to just go back to something you said earlier and just read Proverbs, Chapter 31. This is speaking about a godly woman: \u201cCharm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Beauty is going to fade. I mean, the aging process is cruel to both men and women; but I think women absorb it in a far more personal manner than men do. But what the Scriptures are commanding women\u2014and as far as that goes, men, as well\u2014we are to fear God. There is where you find your identity\u2014when you know who God is and you know who you are in relationship to Him because you are accountable to Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s really what you\u2019re talking about\u2014is a woman who has a vision\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand we\u2019re going to talk about this in a moment\u2014a vision for purity. This is where it starts right here\u2014fearing God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And a lot of young people today have dumbed down what purity means. I mean, one of the lies you talk about in the book is the lie that purity means, \u201cAs long as you\u2019re not having intercourse, you\u2019re pure.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Anything else is okay; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>The predominate lie is that everything, except intercourse, is fair game. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talk to women, all the time, who are recognizing that they grew up in the youth group mindset that said, \u201cAs long as I\u2019m not having intercourse, I\u2019m okay.\u201d They\u2019re now having to deal with the fact that they were sexually-intimate with men\u2014many spend the night in their boyfriend\u2019s dorm room\u2014and those things were not pure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what I\u2019m trying to educate young women is to understand that the pursuit of purity is the pursuit of Christ, and to honor Him, and that God calls us to keep the marriage bed pure. So, those things\u2014everything is sacred. Everything is sacred. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Marian, you don\u2019t know this about Barbara and me\u2014but when we were in the thick of it with four teenage daughters and a couple of sons in that age range\u2014we told our kids that virginity is not the goal to arrive at your marriage bed\u2014with it intact. There is something much larger and much more important at stake. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we taught our kids was Romans, Chapter 16, verse 19. Paul writes: \u201cFor your obedience is known to all so that I rejoice over you.\u201d\u00a0 Then, he says\u2014you can almost hear a father\u2014a father appealing to a son or a daughter here\u2014he said, \u201cBut I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil\u201d\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014innocent of foolishness \/ innocent of moral wrongdoing. I think the average parent is shooting for the wrong goal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They need to be challenging their children to stay as far away from evil as they possibly can. And Bob, you know in the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> getaway\u2014that we have for a father and a son or a mother and a daughter around the age of 10, 11, 12\u2014we challenge the fathers and the sons to engage in a little practical project, where we challenge them to draw the lines in terms of how far they\u2019re going to go with the opposite sex\u2014as far away from the cliff\u2014as far away from intercourse as they possibly can draw them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And so, I\u2019m curious\u2014if you\u2019re talking to young women on a college campus and they say, \u201cOkay, so, as a Christian woman, what can I do?\u201d\u00a0 What do you tell them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>You know, my favorite line\u2014and someone told me this when I was a new believer\u2014they said, \u201cKeep the small things sacred.\u201d\u00a0 That holding someone\u2019s hand should be the biggest deal in the world\u2014like I shouldn\u2019t be making the big things my boundary line\u2014that I should hold those small things so sacred that they\u2019re a huge deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, let me stop you here. When you speak to a group of Christian young ladies\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and you talk about keeping the small things sacred like that; do they laugh?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>They\u2019ve never thought about it before. You can kind of see the surprise in their eyes. When I talk about\u2014and I just set it up like: \u201cThe first time my husband held my hand,\u201d\u2014just like and just how sacred and special those things are\u2014and just waiting for your\u2014like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I wish our listeners could see her face right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Oh!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s too bad this is not TV because she\u2019s glowing right now!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There\u2019s a beam here, yes!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was a big deal!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes! Those things are special. We\u2019ve lost romance because we\u2019ve fallen into this sex-crazed culture. We\u2019ve traded in the beauty of being pursued, and the beauty of waiting, and the beauty of being cherished, and really, the beauty of being treated like a treasure. I just\u2014I wish, for women, that they would believe who God says they are and expect men to treat them that way because we get the payoff; you know?\u00a0 Then, a man has to fight for you. He has to treat you like a princess\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There you go!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>You know\u2014it\u2019s so much better. God is so much better. He is so much better. So, I love to cast vision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when I\u2019m talking to women of any age, I love to cast a vision of\u2014when I say: \u201cJesus is better and His way is better, what does that mean?\u201d and, \u201cWhy are we blessed when we obey?\u00a0 Why are we\u2026\u201d\u2014I still wake up every single day and just think: \u201cGod, you are so good!\u00a0 I do not deserve this life I have. I don\u2019t deserve it. You are so good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Marian, throughout this conversation, we\u2019ve kind of painted a picture of women resisting the advances of aggressive men\u2014that women need to learn how to play defense and how to resist guys who are going to be putting pressure on them to trade their purity for something. But Dennis wrote a book called <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em> because the reality is there are a lot of guys who are getting pulled into this by girls who are coming at them saying, \u201cWhatever you want!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I\u2019m glad you said that because I say it\u2019s not just the boys who are aggressive!\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a kindergartner\u2014who the girls circle him and try to kiss him. We have to show him how to be defensive because it is a culture of aggression. And so, no, it\u2019s not just the boys. Women\u2014part of what we talk about in the renewing of the mind and understanding\u2014is beginning to see ourselves as God sees us and beginning to realign with who we are in Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of that aggressive culture is coming from a woman seeing herself as a sexual object and seeing her identity as sexuality and finding power there. So, she feels powerful when she\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>\u2014can seduce. And you know, that is a longer conversation than we have time for; but the seductive spirit in that is control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But if a woman recognizes that that\u2019s a part of her personality\u2014that she does want that control and she has been seducing guys\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014what does she do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Repent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, really. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>And I\u2014when I talk about the lies in the book\u2014the undercurrent of that nature that we\u2019re talking about\u2014that seduction\u2014is that element of security we talked about. She believes that lie that \u201cI\u2019m going to be secure if I can have control of him.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat repentance means\u2014and I don\u2019t mean that jokingly because, as believers, we need repentance every day as much as an unbeliever does\u2014it\u2019s turning from the sin pattern that we are in, agreeing with God, embracing forgiveness, and asking the Holy Spirit to enable us to change. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when a woman can see her pattern of: \u201cI\u2019m actively trying to seduce men\u2014maybe a man in my church with how I dress or how I talk\u2014what\u2019s my motivation there?\u00a0 What lie am I believing that\u2019s leading me to act like this to a brother in Christ?\u201d\u00a0 I think the \u201cwhy\u201d behind an action is the most important question. So, if we can get women to stop and recognize: \u201cWhy do I want to tempt him?\u00a0 Why does that make me feel powerful? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat lie am I believing about my identity that I am deriving from this control?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, but some of the women, who are listening, are going: \u201cHere is another word for a non-aggressive woman\u2014lonely, dateless. These are synonyms for\u2014\u2018If I don\u2019t get out there and try to lure these guys\u2014these guys have just been trained to sit back and wait for the girls to come to them\u2014and the girls are doing it. So, if I don\u2019t do that, I\u2019m just going to be sitting at home alone on Friday night or in a group over in a corner with nobody paying any attention to me.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, I\u2019ve got to ask you this question\u2014\u201cWould you encourage a young lady to flirt?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I was so scared of sinning when I was a Christian woman in my church. They called me the ice princess. So, men would call me unapproachable. I would say that was one extreme. The other extreme is to be the aggressor and the pursuer. I think there is a happy medium where what true femininity is\u2014is being responsive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod made women to be responders. I believe that you can be authentic, and fun, and a lovely, delightful person, and laugh when a guy tells a joke if he\u2019s funny or just make him feel better if he\u2019s not. [Laughter] I think you can be encouraging without being aggressive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to learn, as my husband was pursuing me in dating, that I had to let a little bit of the wall down to be relatable. But flirting, I think it\u2019s how you are defining that. If you\u2019re defining that by being aggressive, I don\u2019t think a woman should be aggressive; but I think she can be responsive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If a guy smiles at you, it\u2019s okay to smile back?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>It is okay to smile back!\u00a0 It\u2019s okay to laugh. It\u2019s okay to have fun. But how we dress, how we walk, how we talk, how we insinuate\u2014it all just comes back to: \u201cWhere is your heart?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>To me, I start and end this book with loving Jesus. I start and end this book with having a vision for your life and a vision for why you live as \u201cI belong to Him\u201d\u2014being consecrated to Christ. Therefore, all of your actions and behavior are going to flow out of that because it\u2019s not about keeping rules. It\u2019s about knowing why you live. And I write in the book that rules will be broken, but visions are lived. And that\u2019s one of my guiding principles in life. And for me, the vision behind purity and the vision behind how a single Christian woman is to live\u2014is it shapes everything about her. And this vision of \u201cI love Jesus, and I belong to Him\u201d\u2014and that is the driving force behind everything in her life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s her identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s her identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I started thinking about the power of vision, my life wasn\u2019t about following a rule that says, \u201cI can\u2019t have sex before marriage.\u201d\u00a0 The vision of my life was: \u201cI love Jesus because Jesus redeemed me, and I want to stand before Him and honor Him with my life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, therefore, that vision, and that call, and that being gripped and consecrated to God because Jesus is better\u2014that influenced everything about me\u2014so that, when my husband and I were dating, and when the whisper in your head says: \u201cJust sleep over. It\u2019s no big deal,\u201d we would stand at the door and say, \u201cGoodnight, I love you; but I love Jesus more.\u201d\u00a0 That vision led us to behavior, but a lot of people get it backward. They want the rules to lead behavior, but they have to have the vision of why they are doing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I just have to know, how long were you engaged?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>A very short time!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You would recommend that to others; wouldn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I think long engagements are stupid. So\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Give me a fist bump here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I were engaged for six weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Three months. It was only because we dated a year and got engaged New Year\u2019s Eve and got married in April. So, it was almost four months. We planned this amazing wedding, out at my family\u2019s farm, at the barn. I was booked for speaking engagements\u2014it was the only reason it wasn\u2019t one day sooner; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I have to tell you my son and daughter-in-law got engaged in April, planned a December wedding, and called in August and said: \u201cUh-uh. We\u2019re not going to get there.\u201d\u00a0 So, September was when they got married. And I met a couple, this weekend. They said: \u201cYes, we\u2019re engaged. We\u2019re getting married in about five months\u201d; and they said, \u201cBut we almost got married this weekend.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right; right. And I had friends who planned the big party but went to their pastor and said, \u201cWould you just marry us?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think we need to start a movement of that, personally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019d be for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>My parents met and got married three months later after they met. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not supporting that totally, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They\u2019re still married; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They\u2019re you go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>The dating culture, as a whole, we could do a whole subject on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just have to conclude this series of broadcasts\u2014because you have done a great job, by the way, Marian. And I just appreciate you. Thanks for your book. Folks need to get this for their own kids, for themselves, for a friend. Pass it on to a single person you know. They need to get a copy of this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I want you to listen to the Scriptures. These are God\u2019s Words found in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Thessalonians, Chapter 4: \u201cFor this is the will of God, your sanctification; that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother or his sister in this matter because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and have solemnly warned you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.\u201d\u00a0 And I might add, \u201cWho gives the Holy Spirit to you to help you obey God and to be His child.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, and He gives us one another. He gives us the body of Christ and community to help us be conformed to the image of Christ. So, a conversation like we\u2019ve had today\u2014getting a copy of a book like the one Marian has written, <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl<\/em>. It\u2019s about how we come alongside one another and cheer one another on in our race to be sanctified. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do have copies of Marian\u2019s book, <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl: Fighting for Purity in a Rom-Com World<\/em>. We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what to do if you\u2019d like to get a copy: Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Upper left-hand corner of the screen, it says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 Click that link. It\u2019ll take you to a part of our website where you can order a copy of Marian\u2019s book. Or if you\u2019d prefer to call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014about a 90-second phone call\u2014we can make arrangements to have a copy of the book sent to you. Again, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; and the toll-free number is 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, of course, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to be at the <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> marriage celebration in Chicago\u2014pretty excited about that\u2014three weeks from tomorrow at the <em>I Still Do<\/em> in Portland, Oregon, out at the Moda Center\u2014then, October 4<sup>th<\/sup> in Washington, DC. Of course, these events are all designed to help strengthen marriages \/ help all of us go the distance in our marriages with joy and with the gospel at the center of all that we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you know what?\u00a0 We could not host events like this\u2014have this daily radio program and the website that goes with it\u2014and all that we\u2019re doing here, at FamilyLife\u2014couldn\u2019t do it without listeners, like you, who share our vision to see every home become a godly home. We do appreciate those of you who support this program and who help keep it on this radio station. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we would like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a message that Dennis Rainey gave at an <em>I Still Do<\/em> event a number of years ago\u2014a message about the importance of every marriage being built on a solid spiritual foundation. Request that CD when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care.\u201d\u00a0 Make an online donation, or call to make a donation over the phone\u20141-800-FL-TODAY\u2014and ask for the CD from Dennis Rainey when you do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can write to us. Mail a check and request the CD. Our mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us. Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. See you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303149","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303149"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303149"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303149"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303149"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303149"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303149"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303149"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}