{"id":303145,"date":"2014-07-30T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-07-30T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/from-shame-filled-to-shame-free\/"},"modified":"2014-07-30T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-07-30T15:00:00","slug":"from-shame-filled-to-shame-free","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/from-shame-filled-to-shame-free\/","title":{"rendered":"From Shame-filled to Shame-Free"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marian Jordan Ellis recalls the futile attempts in her youth to find the love she longed for. Marian tells how her sinful lifestyle left her empty and filled with shame, till she met Jesus Christ.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-07-30.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.54M","filesize_raw":"23634471","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2093],"tags":[2320,4893,4763,2926],"podcast_series":[8028],"cwp_profile":[9349],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303145","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-women","tag-purity","tag-sexual-temptation","tag-single-women","tag-singles","podcast_series-sex-and-the-single-christian-girl","cwp_profile-marian-jordan-ellis","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303145\/from-shame-filled-to-shame-free","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303145\/from-shame-filled-to-shame-free","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"OHMEuRQPG7\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/from-shame-filled-to-shame-free\/\">From Shame-filled to Shame-Free<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/from-shame-filled-to-shame-free\/embed\/#?secret=OHMEuRQPG7\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;From Shame-filled to Shame-Free&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"OHMEuRQPG7\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-07-30.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-07-30.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Starting in college and then continuing, as a young single woman, Marian Jordan Ellis was a self-described party girl. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I was really living what I would call the <em>Sex in the City<\/em> life\u2014you know, if you\u2019ve seen that show. I was living that worldview. As I tell women, across the nation, on college campuses, I was\u2014I never felt more empty in my life. Bono said it best, \u201cI still hadn\u2019t found what I was looking for.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, July 30<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Marian Jordan Ellis joins us today and tells us what ultimately turned her world around\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014was when she realized she was more valuable than she knew she was. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I have a very distinct memory of sitting down and recording our very first <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> radio program with you. You shared a story on that very first program about a fight that you and Barbara had had. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Correct. And you were shocked that I was going to do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, at the end of the program, I said: \u201cDo you want us to edit that out?\u00a0 I mean, do want to tell the whole world about the fact that you had a fight with your wife last week?\u201d\u00a0 And you said: \u201cWell, number one, it\u2019s true. We did have that fight. And number two, I\u2019ve learned that there\u2019s great power in just being honest and transparent about the work that God is doing in your life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And we have a story like that today. In fact, Bob, you could ask God why He had so many failures in the Bible because the Bible is chock-full of people who failed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, there are more lessons from their failures, I think, than from their successes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMarian Jordan Ellis joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. She\u2019s got a story our listeners need to hear. Marian, welcome to our broadcast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>It\u2019s great to be here. Thanks for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She is married to Justin, lives in San Antonio\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Home of the world champion San Antonio Spurs!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Go Spurs!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s right!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014with their two sons. She is a graduate of Southwestern Seminary\u2014that\u2019s the other seminary in the Dallas\/Fort Worth area\u2014not to be confused with Dallas Theological Seminary. She\u2019s the founder of Redeemed Girl Ministries. She\u2019s a speaker, a writer, a podcaster, and the author of <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did a little research. You know who also wrote a book that had a very similar title to this\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I think I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014back in the 1960s?\u00a0 Tell our listeners who. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Helen Gurley Brown. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. And they made a movie of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s the <em>Cosmo<\/em> lady; right?\u2014the woman who started <em>Cosmo<\/em>?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s right. And I think there is a giant contrast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>There is, hopefully, a giant contrast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Your book is subtitled, <em>Fighting for Purity in a Rom-Com World<\/em>. Now, I confess I did not know what \u201cRom-Com\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh come on!\u00a0 You didn\u2019t know what rom-com meant?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Come on, Dennis!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t. I did not know what a \u201cRom-Com World\u201d was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Were you thinking sci-fi?\u00a0 Were you thinking, \u201cIs this an alien abduction?\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I thought it was some kind of new software program or something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, I had a suspicion; but explain to our listeners what you mean by that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Rom-Com is slang from romantic comedy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>So, the rom-com world is just that world that is influenced by the whole romantic comedy culture that we live in\u2014you know, the one that you have Justin Timberlake comparing sex to tennis and saying: \u201cIt\u2019s just sex. It\u2019s no big deal,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>\u2014the one that every movie we, as women, watch\u2014we are indoctrinated to believe that love is the new standard of purity, and that it\u2019s really just no big deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a single Christian woman, living in this culture, you literally can feel like an alien and God\u2019s Word seems archaic. When you are in the battles, it seems like, \u201cI\u2019m the only one who believes this.\u201d\u00a0 So, it\u2019s really addressing those women in this culture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You mention in your book that you grew up in a Christian home; and yet, you would watch these movies. You would laugh your way through them as they fell or melted their way into bed and had sex\u2014single people. This rom-com world makes fun of it or has comedy around sex and singles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>And I hate to use such a strong word as brainwashing, but there is something about film and media that you\u2019re applauding these two people. Then, you step back and realize\u2014they just met, and they are sleeping together!\u2014and \u201cHow \/ why am I applauding this?\u201d\u2014that you get seduced into the storyline, and the music, and all of that stuff\u2014and you just end up cheering for something that you don\u2019t believe in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And the reason I wanted to highlight that, at the beginning of the broadcast, is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we have a lot of moms who listen to our broadcast, who are raising sons and daughters in the midst of this brainwash. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They\u2019ve got to understand what is taking place. One of the things that Barbara and I did\u2014Bob, I know you and Mary Ann did as well\u2014after we watched a movie\u2014whether it be on TV or we went out to a movie\u2014we would usually take our kids out to get a Coke or an ice cream cone, and we would debrief. Our kids grew weary of our movie critic analysis\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cOh, Dad, do we have to analyze every piece of this movie?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m telling you, though\u2014they now have our 20 grandkids. It is hilarious to listen to them grouse, and gripe, and complain about the values that are being perpetrated by Hollywood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The truth is\u2014I think I got more input \/ more of a roadmap for what a relationship should look like from watching movies and TV than I did from any other single source.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>You know, as a little girl, I remember watching <em>Grease<\/em> and not having a clue what my mind was being filled with and thinking that Sandy had arrived when she shed the old purity robe and became the lady in black\u2014and she became the seductress. That was such a powerful image, as a little girl, that it\u2019s not cool to be this girl\u2014but it\u2019s really cool to be the girl in black. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, growing up in a Christian home\u2014but arriving in your adolescence and your later adolescence\u2014high school \/ college\u2014you took a very different path. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Marian: <\/strong>I sure did. I talk about purity from both standpoints. I believed every lie of the enemy and dove, head first, into the college party scene, and living in that hook-up environment, and barely living to tell about it\u2014and coming to Christ after college\u2014truly coming to my own saving relationship and knowledge of Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had the foundation of a biblical worldview; but I ran from God and ran into the arms of the world, and God rescued me. Then, coming out of that and Jesus redeeming my life, I\u2019ve lived on both sides of this battle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to read what you wrote in your book because I just thought this was so good. This is where a lot of young people are\u2014a lot of singles are today. You write: \u201cI grew up in a Christian home with Christian values. I knew sex was designed for marriage. Growing up, I believed the facts pertaining to Christianity, but I didn\u2019t know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I knew rules and religion; and from both of these, I rebelled.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBy the time my teenage years rolled around, I embraced the values of the world and threw myself into the college party scene. I fell into sexual sin and was sucked into the vortex of darkness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSatan\u2019s lies kept me locked like a prisoner of war in a cell of shame and regret. I experienced freedom only when Jesus redeemed me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How did He redeem you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>You know, I was\u2014you know\u2014living in the world that our culture says is what every single woman wants. I had money. I had the party scene. I had alcohol. I had all of that stuff\u2014and coming to the end of myself\u2014and recognizing that none of those things would fill the God-shaped hole in my soul. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was in a bar, one night, desperately empty. I did what I\u2019d never really honestly done before in my life. I prayed in a bar. I said, \u201cGod, if you are real, help.\u201d\u00a0 A few weeks later, a friend invited me to what would become my home church in Houston. She said: \u201cI\u2019m going to this event. Would you come with me?\u201d\u00a0 And I\u2014at that time, I thought, \u201cI can\u2019t walk into that place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThere was so much shame and baggage on me.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cCome on,\u201d and I went with her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>That night, I\u2019m telling you\u2014I\u2019m so thankful for churches that preach the gospel because, that night,\u00a0 I heard for the very first time\u2014really heard it\u2014that the Light of the world\u2014the God of the universe stepped into the darkness \/ my darkness to rescue me. I recognized that\u2014not just\u00a0 that I needed Jesus to forgive my sin\u2014I needed Jesus for life\u2014and that everything I was searching for\u2014in a guy\u2019s bedroom, in an empty bottle, in success, and everything\u2014I was searching in all the wrong places. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat night, I just surrendered my life to Jesus. I didn\u2019t know what that meant. I didn\u2019t know that I was going to have to go through such a radical transformation of my mind. I did not know what lay ahead of me, but I knew that I could not continue one step without Him. So, I surrendered my life to Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShortly, thereafter, I got plugged into a Bible study. I was with all these really good girls from Baylor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt so different from these girls because they had this life of purity. I had this life of shame. I remember sitting in my car, after this Bible study. I was weeping, and weeping, and weeping. I just said: \u201cGod, here is the deal. I know You\u2019ve saved me, but I am one step from going back to where I just came from. So, You\u2019re going to have to give me a heart to love You more than anything else in this world.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd God transformed everything about my life. I call myself a redeemed girl and my ministry Redeemed Girl because the word, redeemed, means to buy something back and to restore it to its original intent. Everything Satan had intended for me\u2014through the brainwashing of culture, through my own sin, and through the darkness that I\u2019d walked through\u2014Jesus has rescued me from and redeemed. Everything I believe today and live today is based on\u2014it\u2019s based on that same gospel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And what happened to your shame?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Oh, my shame. You know what\u2019s interesting?\u00a0 I got married at 38. I was single a very long time, as a Christian woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI walked down the aisle, on my wedding day, feeling the most clean I ever felt in my life\u2014feeling absolutely pure, from the inside out. I lifted my bouquet to heaven. It was just such a worship service because it was all about the power of Jesus and what He is able to do to clean us and transform us. I\u2019m telling you\u2014I\u2019d never ever felt that pure in my life, and it\u2019s because of the work of God. Jesus makes us new creations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI write a book about purity\u2014not being someone who succeeded and then lived to tell about it\u2014I wrote a book about purity from coming out of the enemy\u2019s darkness, and coming to Christ, and Him transforming me from the inside out. What I realized is that purity is a response to the gospel. It\u2019s not a means of salvation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause I had been\u2014bought by Jesus, loved by Jesus, cleansed by Jesus\u2014the life of purity flowed out of that, where I wanted to live for Jesus. I wanted to live for the One who redeemed me. So, the shame was gone, progressively, as I began to believe who He really made me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The promise of Scripture is that He will remove our sins as far as the east is from the west. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Amen; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean\u2014He removes our shame. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>He does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have to believe, right now, there is a listener\u2014maybe a young lady\u2014it may be a guy\u2014they may be single \/ married \/ parents \/ grandparent\u2014who is listening to you and lived their whole lives maybe dabbling in religion\u2014but they\u2019ve never met the One who can cleanse them from their shame. What would you tell them to do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I would tell them to look to the cross: \u201cAnd the minute I trusted Jesus,\u201d the Bible said, \u201cI became a new creation. The old is gone, and the new has come.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThroughout the New Testament\u2014what Paul continually does and the writers of the New Testament\u2014they remind us who we are in Christ. They remind us of the truth of what was finished at the cross. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what I would challenge anyone, listening to this, is to look to Jesus and believe in <em>His<\/em> finished work, not in your performance\u2014believe in what <em>He<\/em> has done, not in your track record\u2014because the more I began to see myself in Christ, and to recognize who Jesus is, and what Jesus <em>did,<\/em> and believed that for myself\u2014we <em>behave<\/em> how we believe. When I began to see myself as redeemed, I began to see myself as forgiven\u2014 I began to see myself as holy, even\u2014I began to see myself as God\u2019s daughter and cherished\u2014the natural outworking of that belief system was behavior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I would tell anyone that the enemy is coming with lies of shame that: \u201cYou have done this and you\u2019ve fallen.\u201d\u00a0 Go back to the cross. Go back to the place where we began and just take hold of the promises of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAllow Jesus to pour out His cleansing mercy and grace, and receive it\u2014receive this gift of grace from God, and let Him bestow mercy on us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know what you are saying is\u2014there\u2019s\u00a0 a hymn we sing at church\u2014and the lyric is: \u201cWhen Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see Him there, who made an end to all my sin. Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free for God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s incredible news. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. It sounds clich\u00e9; but when I\u2019m teaching purity, I\u2019m teaching identity because the more we identify with who we are, as the beloved of God and the redeemed of Christ, the more we see ourselves rightly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPurity is less of a battle because, really, what the enemy does, every single time, is attack who we believe we are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, you know, the girl I was before Jesus\u2014I completely identified myself as a piece of trash\u2014but coming to Christ\u2014what Jesus did was radically alter my perception of myself because in 1 Peter, we see that God says that you were purchased\u2014that you were bought with the precious blood of Christ. So, what the mental shift is\u2014is going to see yourself from something that is unusable trash to begin to see yourself as someone that Jesus died to redeem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what changes in the mental part of me was that something is worth what someone is willing pay for it. If the God of the universe was willing to pay that for me, then, that meant I\u2019m not trash. That means I\u2019m a treasure. When that mental shift began to happen in my life\u2014and I began to see myself as cherished \/ as a treasure\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014then, the whole scheme of the enemy to keep me in sexual sin and to keep me in that darkness\u2014that began to break off because I began to recognize: \u201cThat\u2019s not who I am. I can\u2019t live in a way that\u2019s outside of who God created me to be.\u201d That\u2019s when the battle began to be won in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I have to believe, Marian\u2014as that person is listening to you right now, who is identifying with your life\u2014a life of shame, of guilt, of breaking God\u2019s commands\u2014that they are ready. They are ready right now. They may need to pull off the road, if they are driving. They may need to find a way to slip away from their children for a moment. They may need to, maybe, slip away from their place of work, where they are listening\u2014or if they\u2019re jogging\u2014stop and surrender. Stop where you are, and get on with life, and make the greatest decision you will ever make in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s going to affect you, not only in terms of where you spend eternity, but it\u2019s also going to give you\u2014as Marian just said\u2014actually what the Scriptures promise us\u2014you\u2019re going to find life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I have to ask you about those years in college. Did you think you were happy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>No, I knew I wasn\u2019t happy. You don\u2019t go seeking fulfillment at the end of a bottle if you\u2019re a happy person. I could put on a happy face. I could\u2014but it was all very temporary. There was never joy. And I would say I did battle depression, and I battled self-hatred, and all of those things; but, you know, the world has a fix for all those things, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Party. That\u2019s the fix; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Party more, self-esteem help, self-improvement\u2014all of those things were just empty avenues. So, really, by the time I came to \u201cthe end of myself,\u201d I recognized that Jesus is better and He is glorious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe is the all-fulfilling One, and He is the One that will never leave you nor forsake you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I know, for a lot of people, who are listening\u2014who are maybe still stuck in that pattern of sin that one of the lies of the enemy is\u2014they can\u2019t change and that they are always going to be that way. I would just like to testify and say that the same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead can rescue any life, and He can transform any life. I\u2019m living proof of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He can take a prisoner and set him free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s what you\u2019re describing occurred in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. And those are the tools I really want to give to women, of all ages, because the same schemes\u2014the same lies, the same temptations, the same insecurities\u2014he is using on them; but they have not been equipped to live in this because they\u2019ve been told to just say, \u201cNo,\u201d but they don\u2019t know how to do it. They\u2014and we\u2019ve lived in a culture that is an on-demand culture. You get everything you want in 30 seconds or less. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, to wait to satisfy desire is not something that we\u2019ve equipped a generation to do. And the other women I\u2019m talking to are women, who have been married\u2014and then, they are now divorced or widowed. Now, they are immersed in this dating scene in a culture that says: \u201cIt\u2019s just sex. It\u2019s no big deal. You\u2019re not a virgin anyway. Why would you wait?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m seeing God\u2019s daughters\u2014these cherished women\u2014who are being broken, who are falling, left and right, on what I would call a serious battlefield because they don\u2019t know how to stand. And it\u2019s not just the non-believers. Yes, I was a non-believer who lived in that darkness, and Jesus rescued me; but I had to learn how to walk in purity, as a Christian. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You quoted a mutual friend of Bob and mine. His name is Stu Weber. You quoted him in your book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You said, \u201cEvery Christian is a walking spiritual battlefield.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And we are. If you know Jesus Christ, there is still a battle taking place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I want to read this verse here as we conclude our broadcast. Titus, Chapter 3, verse 4: \u201cBut when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of works done by us and righteousness, but according to His mercy by the washing of regeneration and the renewal of the Holy Spirit whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior; so that, being justified by His grace, we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of people, listening, who need to embrace the reality that they\u2014if they are not a believer, they need to become one and follow Christ\u2014but secondly, if they are, they need to recognize their identity, and who they are, and whose they are, and get with the program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that\u2019s really what\u2019s central to what you\u2019re writing about in the book, <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl<\/em>. This is not about adjusting your behavior. It\u2019s about embracing your identity and the impact that will have on your behavior. That\u2019s where all of us have got to start\u2014with the issues we deal with in our life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do have copies of Marian Jordan Ellis\u2019s book, <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Our listeners can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. In the upper left-hand corner of the screen, you\u2019ll see a link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 When you click that link, there is information about how to order Marian\u2019s book. Other resources that we have on the subject of purity are available, online, as well\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 And you can order resources from us, online; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when you get right down to it, what we\u2019re talking about here is: \u201cHow does the message of the gospel affect how we live and our behavior\u2014not just our behavior\u2014but the motivation for our behavior?\u201d because that\u2019s what\u2019s at the core of all of this. Here, at FamilyLife, our conviction is that when somebody\u2019s life is radically transformed, because of God\u2019s grace, it\u2019s going to pour out into every aspect of marriage and family\u2014human relationships. And that\u2019s our focus\u2014to try to apply the principles of the gospel so that our marriages are stronger, our parenting is in alignment with what God would have us do, and our relationships reflect the reality of the gospel in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we appreciate those of you who share our conviction \/ our passion to see marriage and families transformed by the gospel. Those of you who help support this ministry \/ keep this radio program on this station\u2014on our network of stations, all across the country\u2014we are thrilled every time you get in touch with us and make a donation, as a Legacy Partner or a one-time gift. <br><br>We\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d today when you make a donation by sending you a copy of a message from Dennis Rainey that focuses on the importance of your marriage being built on a spiritual foundation. This is a message that he presented at an <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> event. We\u2019ll send you that CD when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make your donation over the phone, and request the CD from Dennis Rainey. Or you can write a check and mail it to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at P O \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBox 7111, Little Rock, AR. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur zip code is 72223. Ask for the CD from Dennis Rainey when you mail the check to us. Again, thank you for partnering with us, here, in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We do appreciate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back here again tomorrow. Marian Jordan Ellis is going to be here again. We\u2019re going to continue our conversation about the priority of purity in the life of a single young woman. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.54M"],"filesize_raw":["23634471"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303145.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303145.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Jordan Ellis recalls the futile attempts in her youth to find the love she longed for. Marian tells how her sinful lifestyle left her empty and filled with shame, till she met Jesus Christ.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-07-30.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Starting in college and then continuing, as a young single woman, Marian Jordan Ellis was a self-described party girl. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I was really living what I would call the <em>Sex in the City<\/em> life\u2014you know, if you\u2019ve seen that show. I was living that worldview. As I tell women, across the nation, on college campuses, I was\u2014I never felt more empty in my life. Bono said it best, \u201cI still hadn\u2019t found what I was looking for.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, July 30<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Marian Jordan Ellis joins us today and tells us what ultimately turned her world around\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014was when she realized she was more valuable than she knew she was. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I have a very distinct memory of sitting down and recording our very first <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> radio program with you. You shared a story on that very first program about a fight that you and Barbara had had. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Correct. And you were shocked that I was going to do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, at the end of the program, I said: \u201cDo you want us to edit that out?\u00a0 I mean, do want to tell the whole world about the fact that you had a fight with your wife last week?\u201d\u00a0 And you said: \u201cWell, number one, it\u2019s true. We did have that fight. And number two, I\u2019ve learned that there\u2019s great power in just being honest and transparent about the work that God is doing in your life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And we have a story like that today. In fact, Bob, you could ask God why He had so many failures in the Bible because the Bible is chock-full of people who failed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, there are more lessons from their failures, I think, than from their successes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMarian Jordan Ellis joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. She\u2019s got a story our listeners need to hear. Marian, welcome to our broadcast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>It\u2019s great to be here. Thanks for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She is married to Justin, lives in San Antonio\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Home of the world champion San Antonio Spurs!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Go Spurs!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s right!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014with their two sons. She is a graduate of Southwestern Seminary\u2014that\u2019s the other seminary in the Dallas\/Fort Worth area\u2014not to be confused with Dallas Theological Seminary. She\u2019s the founder of Redeemed Girl Ministries. She\u2019s a speaker, a writer, a podcaster, and the author of <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did a little research. You know who also wrote a book that had a very similar title to this\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I think I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014back in the 1960s?\u00a0 Tell our listeners who. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Helen Gurley Brown. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. And they made a movie of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s the <em>Cosmo<\/em> lady; right?\u2014the woman who started <em>Cosmo<\/em>?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s right. And I think there is a giant contrast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>There is, hopefully, a giant contrast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Your book is subtitled, <em>Fighting for Purity in a Rom-Com World<\/em>. Now, I confess I did not know what \u201cRom-Com\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh come on!\u00a0 You didn\u2019t know what rom-com meant?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Come on, Dennis!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t. I did not know what a \u201cRom-Com World\u201d was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Were you thinking sci-fi?\u00a0 Were you thinking, \u201cIs this an alien abduction?\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I thought it was some kind of new software program or something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, I had a suspicion; but explain to our listeners what you mean by that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Rom-Com is slang from romantic comedy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>So, the rom-com world is just that world that is influenced by the whole romantic comedy culture that we live in\u2014you know, the one that you have Justin Timberlake comparing sex to tennis and saying: \u201cIt\u2019s just sex. It\u2019s no big deal,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>\u2014the one that every movie we, as women, watch\u2014we are indoctrinated to believe that love is the new standard of purity, and that it\u2019s really just no big deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a single Christian woman, living in this culture, you literally can feel like an alien and God\u2019s Word seems archaic. When you are in the battles, it seems like, \u201cI\u2019m the only one who believes this.\u201d\u00a0 So, it\u2019s really addressing those women in this culture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You mention in your book that you grew up in a Christian home; and yet, you would watch these movies. You would laugh your way through them as they fell or melted their way into bed and had sex\u2014single people. This rom-com world makes fun of it or has comedy around sex and singles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>And I hate to use such a strong word as brainwashing, but there is something about film and media that you\u2019re applauding these two people. Then, you step back and realize\u2014they just met, and they are sleeping together!\u2014and \u201cHow \/ why am I applauding this?\u201d\u2014that you get seduced into the storyline, and the music, and all of that stuff\u2014and you just end up cheering for something that you don\u2019t believe in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And the reason I wanted to highlight that, at the beginning of the broadcast, is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we have a lot of moms who listen to our broadcast, who are raising sons and daughters in the midst of this brainwash. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They\u2019ve got to understand what is taking place. One of the things that Barbara and I did\u2014Bob, I know you and Mary Ann did as well\u2014after we watched a movie\u2014whether it be on TV or we went out to a movie\u2014we would usually take our kids out to get a Coke or an ice cream cone, and we would debrief. Our kids grew weary of our movie critic analysis\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cOh, Dad, do we have to analyze every piece of this movie?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m telling you, though\u2014they now have our 20 grandkids. It is hilarious to listen to them grouse, and gripe, and complain about the values that are being perpetrated by Hollywood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The truth is\u2014I think I got more input \/ more of a roadmap for what a relationship should look like from watching movies and TV than I did from any other single source.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>You know, as a little girl, I remember watching <em>Grease<\/em> and not having a clue what my mind was being filled with and thinking that Sandy had arrived when she shed the old purity robe and became the lady in black\u2014and she became the seductress. That was such a powerful image, as a little girl, that it\u2019s not cool to be this girl\u2014but it\u2019s really cool to be the girl in black. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, growing up in a Christian home\u2014but arriving in your adolescence and your later adolescence\u2014high school \/ college\u2014you took a very different path. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Marian: <\/strong>I sure did. I talk about purity from both standpoints. I believed every lie of the enemy and dove, head first, into the college party scene, and living in that hook-up environment, and barely living to tell about it\u2014and coming to Christ after college\u2014truly coming to my own saving relationship and knowledge of Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had the foundation of a biblical worldview; but I ran from God and ran into the arms of the world, and God rescued me. Then, coming out of that and Jesus redeeming my life, I\u2019ve lived on both sides of this battle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to read what you wrote in your book because I just thought this was so good. This is where a lot of young people are\u2014a lot of singles are today. You write: \u201cI grew up in a Christian home with Christian values. I knew sex was designed for marriage. Growing up, I believed the facts pertaining to Christianity, but I didn\u2019t know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I knew rules and religion; and from both of these, I rebelled.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBy the time my teenage years rolled around, I embraced the values of the world and threw myself into the college party scene. I fell into sexual sin and was sucked into the vortex of darkness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSatan\u2019s lies kept me locked like a prisoner of war in a cell of shame and regret. I experienced freedom only when Jesus redeemed me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How did He redeem you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>You know, I was\u2014you know\u2014living in the world that our culture says is what every single woman wants. I had money. I had the party scene. I had alcohol. I had all of that stuff\u2014and coming to the end of myself\u2014and recognizing that none of those things would fill the God-shaped hole in my soul. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was in a bar, one night, desperately empty. I did what I\u2019d never really honestly done before in my life. I prayed in a bar. I said, \u201cGod, if you are real, help.\u201d\u00a0 A few weeks later, a friend invited me to what would become my home church in Houston. She said: \u201cI\u2019m going to this event. Would you come with me?\u201d\u00a0 And I\u2014at that time, I thought, \u201cI can\u2019t walk into that place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThere was so much shame and baggage on me.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cCome on,\u201d and I went with her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>That night, I\u2019m telling you\u2014I\u2019m so thankful for churches that preach the gospel because, that night,\u00a0 I heard for the very first time\u2014really heard it\u2014that the Light of the world\u2014the God of the universe stepped into the darkness \/ my darkness to rescue me. I recognized that\u2014not just\u00a0 that I needed Jesus to forgive my sin\u2014I needed Jesus for life\u2014and that everything I was searching for\u2014in a guy\u2019s bedroom, in an empty bottle, in success, and everything\u2014I was searching in all the wrong places. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat night, I just surrendered my life to Jesus. I didn\u2019t know what that meant. I didn\u2019t know that I was going to have to go through such a radical transformation of my mind. I did not know what lay ahead of me, but I knew that I could not continue one step without Him. So, I surrendered my life to Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShortly, thereafter, I got plugged into a Bible study. I was with all these really good girls from Baylor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt so different from these girls because they had this life of purity. I had this life of shame. I remember sitting in my car, after this Bible study. I was weeping, and weeping, and weeping. I just said: \u201cGod, here is the deal. I know You\u2019ve saved me, but I am one step from going back to where I just came from. So, You\u2019re going to have to give me a heart to love You more than anything else in this world.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd God transformed everything about my life. I call myself a redeemed girl and my ministry Redeemed Girl because the word, redeemed, means to buy something back and to restore it to its original intent. Everything Satan had intended for me\u2014through the brainwashing of culture, through my own sin, and through the darkness that I\u2019d walked through\u2014Jesus has rescued me from and redeemed. Everything I believe today and live today is based on\u2014it\u2019s based on that same gospel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And what happened to your shame?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Oh, my shame. You know what\u2019s interesting?\u00a0 I got married at 38. I was single a very long time, as a Christian woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI walked down the aisle, on my wedding day, feeling the most clean I ever felt in my life\u2014feeling absolutely pure, from the inside out. I lifted my bouquet to heaven. It was just such a worship service because it was all about the power of Jesus and what He is able to do to clean us and transform us. I\u2019m telling you\u2014I\u2019d never ever felt that pure in my life, and it\u2019s because of the work of God. Jesus makes us new creations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI write a book about purity\u2014not being someone who succeeded and then lived to tell about it\u2014I wrote a book about purity from coming out of the enemy\u2019s darkness, and coming to Christ, and Him transforming me from the inside out. What I realized is that purity is a response to the gospel. It\u2019s not a means of salvation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause I had been\u2014bought by Jesus, loved by Jesus, cleansed by Jesus\u2014the life of purity flowed out of that, where I wanted to live for Jesus. I wanted to live for the One who redeemed me. So, the shame was gone, progressively, as I began to believe who He really made me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The promise of Scripture is that He will remove our sins as far as the east is from the west. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Amen; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean\u2014He removes our shame. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>He does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have to believe, right now, there is a listener\u2014maybe a young lady\u2014it may be a guy\u2014they may be single \/ married \/ parents \/ grandparent\u2014who is listening to you and lived their whole lives maybe dabbling in religion\u2014but they\u2019ve never met the One who can cleanse them from their shame. What would you tell them to do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>I would tell them to look to the cross: \u201cAnd the minute I trusted Jesus,\u201d the Bible said, \u201cI became a new creation. The old is gone, and the new has come.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThroughout the New Testament\u2014what Paul continually does and the writers of the New Testament\u2014they remind us who we are in Christ. They remind us of the truth of what was finished at the cross. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what I would challenge anyone, listening to this, is to look to Jesus and believe in <em>His<\/em> finished work, not in your performance\u2014believe in what <em>He<\/em> has done, not in your track record\u2014because the more I began to see myself in Christ, and to recognize who Jesus is, and what Jesus <em>did,<\/em> and believed that for myself\u2014we <em>behave<\/em> how we believe. When I began to see myself as redeemed, I began to see myself as forgiven\u2014 I began to see myself as holy, even\u2014I began to see myself as God\u2019s daughter and cherished\u2014the natural outworking of that belief system was behavior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I would tell anyone that the enemy is coming with lies of shame that: \u201cYou have done this and you\u2019ve fallen.\u201d\u00a0 Go back to the cross. Go back to the place where we began and just take hold of the promises of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAllow Jesus to pour out His cleansing mercy and grace, and receive it\u2014receive this gift of grace from God, and let Him bestow mercy on us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know what you are saying is\u2014there\u2019s\u00a0 a hymn we sing at church\u2014and the lyric is: \u201cWhen Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see Him there, who made an end to all my sin. Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free for God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s incredible news. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. It sounds clich\u00e9; but when I\u2019m teaching purity, I\u2019m teaching identity because the more we identify with who we are, as the beloved of God and the redeemed of Christ, the more we see ourselves rightly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPurity is less of a battle because, really, what the enemy does, every single time, is attack who we believe we are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, you know, the girl I was before Jesus\u2014I completely identified myself as a piece of trash\u2014but coming to Christ\u2014what Jesus did was radically alter my perception of myself because in 1 Peter, we see that God says that you were purchased\u2014that you were bought with the precious blood of Christ. So, what the mental shift is\u2014is going to see yourself from something that is unusable trash to begin to see yourself as someone that Jesus died to redeem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what changes in the mental part of me was that something is worth what someone is willing pay for it. If the God of the universe was willing to pay that for me, then, that meant I\u2019m not trash. That means I\u2019m a treasure. When that mental shift began to happen in my life\u2014and I began to see myself as cherished \/ as a treasure\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014then, the whole scheme of the enemy to keep me in sexual sin and to keep me in that darkness\u2014that began to break off because I began to recognize: \u201cThat\u2019s not who I am. I can\u2019t live in a way that\u2019s outside of who God created me to be.\u201d That\u2019s when the battle began to be won in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I have to believe, Marian\u2014as that person is listening to you right now, who is identifying with your life\u2014a life of shame, of guilt, of breaking God\u2019s commands\u2014that they are ready. They are ready right now. They may need to pull off the road, if they are driving. They may need to find a way to slip away from their children for a moment. They may need to, maybe, slip away from their place of work, where they are listening\u2014or if they\u2019re jogging\u2014stop and surrender. Stop where you are, and get on with life, and make the greatest decision you will ever make in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s going to affect you, not only in terms of where you spend eternity, but it\u2019s also going to give you\u2014as Marian just said\u2014actually what the Scriptures promise us\u2014you\u2019re going to find life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I have to ask you about those years in college. Did you think you were happy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>No, I knew I wasn\u2019t happy. You don\u2019t go seeking fulfillment at the end of a bottle if you\u2019re a happy person. I could put on a happy face. I could\u2014but it was all very temporary. There was never joy. And I would say I did battle depression, and I battled self-hatred, and all of those things; but, you know, the world has a fix for all those things, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Party. That\u2019s the fix; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Party more, self-esteem help, self-improvement\u2014all of those things were just empty avenues. So, really, by the time I came to \u201cthe end of myself,\u201d I recognized that Jesus is better and He is glorious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe is the all-fulfilling One, and He is the One that will never leave you nor forsake you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I know, for a lot of people, who are listening\u2014who are maybe still stuck in that pattern of sin that one of the lies of the enemy is\u2014they can\u2019t change and that they are always going to be that way. I would just like to testify and say that the same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead can rescue any life, and He can transform any life. I\u2019m living proof of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He can take a prisoner and set him free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s what you\u2019re describing occurred in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Right. And those are the tools I really want to give to women, of all ages, because the same schemes\u2014the same lies, the same temptations, the same insecurities\u2014he is using on them; but they have not been equipped to live in this because they\u2019ve been told to just say, \u201cNo,\u201d but they don\u2019t know how to do it. They\u2014and we\u2019ve lived in a culture that is an on-demand culture. You get everything you want in 30 seconds or less. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, to wait to satisfy desire is not something that we\u2019ve equipped a generation to do. And the other women I\u2019m talking to are women, who have been married\u2014and then, they are now divorced or widowed. Now, they are immersed in this dating scene in a culture that says: \u201cIt\u2019s just sex. It\u2019s no big deal. You\u2019re not a virgin anyway. Why would you wait?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m seeing God\u2019s daughters\u2014these cherished women\u2014who are being broken, who are falling, left and right, on what I would call a serious battlefield because they don\u2019t know how to stand. And it\u2019s not just the non-believers. Yes, I was a non-believer who lived in that darkness, and Jesus rescued me; but I had to learn how to walk in purity, as a Christian. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You quoted a mutual friend of Bob and mine. His name is Stu Weber. You quoted him in your book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You said, \u201cEvery Christian is a walking spiritual battlefield.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Marian: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And we are. If you know Jesus Christ, there is still a battle taking place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I want to read this verse here as we conclude our broadcast. Titus, Chapter 3, verse 4: \u201cBut when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of works done by us and righteousness, but according to His mercy by the washing of regeneration and the renewal of the Holy Spirit whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior; so that, being justified by His grace, we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of people, listening, who need to embrace the reality that they\u2014if they are not a believer, they need to become one and follow Christ\u2014but secondly, if they are, they need to recognize their identity, and who they are, and whose they are, and get with the program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that\u2019s really what\u2019s central to what you\u2019re writing about in the book, <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl<\/em>. This is not about adjusting your behavior. It\u2019s about embracing your identity and the impact that will have on your behavior. That\u2019s where all of us have got to start\u2014with the issues we deal with in our life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do have copies of Marian Jordan Ellis\u2019s book, <em>Sex and the Single Christian Girl<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Our listeners can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. In the upper left-hand corner of the screen, you\u2019ll see a link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 When you click that link, there is information about how to order Marian\u2019s book. Other resources that we have on the subject of purity are available, online, as well\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 And you can order resources from us, online; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when you get right down to it, what we\u2019re talking about here is: \u201cHow does the message of the gospel affect how we live and our behavior\u2014not just our behavior\u2014but the motivation for our behavior?\u201d because that\u2019s what\u2019s at the core of all of this. Here, at FamilyLife, our conviction is that when somebody\u2019s life is radically transformed, because of God\u2019s grace, it\u2019s going to pour out into every aspect of marriage and family\u2014human relationships. And that\u2019s our focus\u2014to try to apply the principles of the gospel so that our marriages are stronger, our parenting is in alignment with what God would have us do, and our relationships reflect the reality of the gospel in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we appreciate those of you who share our conviction \/ our passion to see marriage and families transformed by the gospel. Those of you who help support this ministry \/ keep this radio program on this station\u2014on our network of stations, all across the country\u2014we are thrilled every time you get in touch with us and make a donation, as a Legacy Partner or a one-time gift. <br><br>We\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d today when you make a donation by sending you a copy of a message from Dennis Rainey that focuses on the importance of your marriage being built on a spiritual foundation. This is a message that he presented at an <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> event. We\u2019ll send you that CD when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make your donation over the phone, and request the CD from Dennis Rainey. Or you can write a check and mail it to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at P O \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBox 7111, Little Rock, AR. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur zip code is 72223. Ask for the CD from Dennis Rainey when you mail the check to us. Again, thank you for partnering with us, here, in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We do appreciate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back here again tomorrow. Marian Jordan Ellis is going to be here again. We\u2019re going to continue our conversation about the priority of purity in the life of a single young woman. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303145"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303145"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303145"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303145"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}