{"id":303063,"date":"2014-06-02T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-06-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/becoming-the-father-you-were-meant-to-be\/"},"modified":"2014-06-02T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-06-02T15:00:00","slug":"becoming-the-father-you-were-meant-to-be","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/becoming-the-father-you-were-meant-to-be\/","title":{"rendered":"Becoming the Father You Were Meant to Be"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your father? Focus on the Family President, Jim Daly, talks with Dennis Rainey about his difficult childhood, his absent, alcoholic father, and his desire to be a better dad than the role models that he had growing up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your father?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-06-02.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.49M","filesize_raw":"24629181","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837],"tags":[5356,5019,4276],"podcast_series":[8015],"cwp_profile":[9041],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303063","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","tag-absent-father","tag-alcoholism","tag-legacy","podcast_series-the-good-dad","cwp_profile-jim-daly","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303063\/becoming-the-father-you-were-meant-to-be","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303063\/becoming-the-father-you-were-meant-to-be","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"tNcJX4eYPu\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/becoming-the-father-you-were-meant-to-be\/\">Becoming the Father You Were Meant to Be<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/becoming-the-father-you-were-meant-to-be\/embed\/#?secret=tNcJX4eYPu\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Becoming the Father You Were Meant to Be&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"tNcJX4eYPu\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-06-02.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-06-02.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong><em>Focus on the Family<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2019s Jim Daly says every one of us has a longing to be connected to an earthly father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I just remember, when we got the phone call when my father died, he was found\u2014and I don\u2019t even like saying it\u2014he was drunk in an abandoned building\u2014froze to death. I remember feeling nothing\u2014<em>nothing<\/em>. But years later\u2014probably three or four years later, I remember the <em>grief<\/em> of not having a father. That\u2019s what got me, and I sobbed because I didn\u2019t have a dad who I could talk to\u2014somebody I could confide in\u2014somebody that could hear my hopes, my dreams. He wasn\u2019t there. It was lonely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, June 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How can you, as a father, be the dad that your kids want you to be\u2014the kind of dad you long to be? We\u2019ll talk about that with Jim Daly today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I\u2019ve heard you talk about your dad and the impact that he had in your life. I guess I\u2019ve always thought, \u201cIf we were scoring dads, on a one-to-ten scale, your dad would have been near the top of the scale\u2014nine or ten\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s a tough evaluation, Bob. I\u2019m aware of my dad\u2019s shortcomings. Based upon what I\u2019ve heard from other men and what they received from their fathers, it\u2019s difficult to find much to critique, negatively, about my dad. So, I want to say he was an authentic man\u2014he wasn\u2019t a perfect man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He came from a broken home himself. His dad deserted him when he was a boy and left him with his mom and his eight brothers and sisters. It was a tough time. I mean, they were dirt poor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, how he became the man he became\u2014I scratch my head sometimes because he should have been a victim. It would have been easy for him to have become a victim. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a dad here with us in the studio who <em>also <\/em>could have become a victim, but he\u2019s chosen not to. He\u2019s chosen to become a good dad, and he\u2019s written a book by the same title. Jim Daly joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Jim, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>It\u2019s great to be with you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Jim has been married to his wife Jean since 1986. They have two sons. He has written a book subtitled: <em>Becoming the Father You Were Meant to Be<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of our listeners who know Jim Daly, you know that he is the president and CEO of <em>Focus on the Family<\/em>. You also know that his passion for fatherhood comes out of his own life. You begin this book going back to a dads\u2019 night and a football game.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. Take us back there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I can still feel that. You know, I played football\u2014I loved football. I got into sports\u2014that was my thing. That\u2019s where I found serenity. I remember being a sophomore. I don\u2019t know what happened\u2014I broke my wrist my freshman year\u2014so I didn\u2019t make it to dads\u2019 night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then my sophomore year\u2014one of the evenings\u2014Thursday night for the JV game\u2014we got out there, and it was dads\u2019 night. They called everybody out and the fathers would come and stand next to their sons. Back in the \u201870s, it was rare not to have a father in your life. I remember they called my name and said, \u201cJim\u2019s father is not present tonight.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Were you the only one?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>There were, I think, three of us, out of about 25\/30 players.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Those moments mark our lives; don\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>They do. They\u2019re seared into our consciousness. You know, we don\u2019t forget them. Today, there\u2019s been that debate about whether it\u2019s embarrassing\u2014we shouldn\u2019t embarrass the poor kid without a dad. I felt good for the other players\u2014I was glad their dads were there. So it wasn\u2019t a thing where I felt we shouldn\u2019t do fathers\u2019 night. It wasn\u2019t a political thing. I just felt empty. I felt like: \u201cI don\u2019t have a dad.\u201d And that was the truth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your dad had left when you were five years old. Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I was five. My dad\u2014it was a terrible night. I remember my dad just\u2014you know\u2014was an alcoholic. There are probably a lot of people listening that had alcoholic fathers. For me, he loved me\u2014<em>I knew<\/em> he loved me. He showed it; but alcohol\u2014I guess, now, when I look back on it\u2014he loved that more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Was he abusive when he got drunk?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Not to me. My oldest brother\u2014he was ten years older than me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe and my brother would fight, physically, because my dad would get drunk\u2014he would say that he was going to do things to my mom. That was that night when I was five. He came home drunk at night. My mom was not home. He took a hammer\u2014pounded it through the walls\u2014sat down in a chair, and began to thump that hammer on the ground, saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to kill your mom when she gets home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just remember my brother put me in the master bedroom\u2014shut the door, which is scary to a five-year-old. I just lay there, <em>listening<\/em>, with this instinct of survival\u2014laying in that bed, hearing every thud\u2014every yell and scream my dad would blurt out. Next thing I know, police are at the door. The policeman pops into the room. He walked in and said, \u201cAre you okay?\u201d I said, \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d Then, he put his hand on my chest\u2014I think just to assure me\u2014and he left the room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got up and snuck behind him. He went out the front door. There my dad was in handcuffs, and they put him in a car, and drove him away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy mom was on the other side of the yard. The next morning, we got up and moved. That was the last time, for a couple of years, that I saw my dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I\u2019m listening to you describe that. I\u2019m imagining myself as a five-year-old boy. I remember an incident in our home. This is the only such incident I have any memory of. It was an argument that my mom and dad had, but it was <em>nothing<\/em> like what you described. It was just a big emotional disagreement. I literally remember shaking at that argument that occurred between my mom and dad, which was the only such thing that occurred in my family\u2014ever. I don\u2019t think it ever occurred again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m picturing you\u2014where that was almost a regular diet of drunkenness or abusive behavior \/ abusive words. How did you absorb that, from an emotional standpoint, as a boy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I think, as a little boy, I went to a different place, emotionally. I cordoned that off and said, \u201cThat\u2019s that, and the rest of my life is over here.\u201d So, I did well in school. I did well in sports\u2014that gave me confidence. But, you know, it\u2019s amazing, as you shared your story, Dennis, how that memory\u2019s so vivid for you\u2014even though it was one argument.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I think for children, that\u2019s\u2014we seek, as children, stability. Stability speaks to our heart because, in that, we learn trust. We learn so much about God\u2019s character when it\u2019s healthy. And when it\u2019s not, we learn fear. We learn to withdraw emotionally. That\u2019s what happens\u2014I think you just close off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When a boy kind of sections off the fear, the worry, the anxiety, and kind of puts a lid on the bottle and says: \u201cYou know what? That\u2019s just over there because of what I\u2019m seeing at home.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUsually, the lid comes off at some point. Did that happen in your adolescence or later on in adulthood, where you were faced with some of what you\u2019d kind of jammed into a corner?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I think for me, when I was 15, I accepted Christ. I wobbled along because, at that point, now, I\u2019ve had my bio dad; I\u2019ve had a stepfather; I was in foster-care, where the foster-father accused me of trying to murder him. I was nine-and-a-half! I couldn\u2019t understand any of this: \u201cWhy do these adults not know reality? I\u2019m a little boy, and I know it better than they do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, at 15, I accepted Christ. I lived with my brother. He was 18\/19. I was 12. I remember going playing football in high school, and I\u2019d say, \u201cWhat time do you want me to come home?\u201d He\u2019d say, \u201cAhh\u2014two or three in the morning.\u201d I\u2019d think to myself, \u201cI\u2019ll try to stay out that late.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>There was no boundary on me; but at 15, the Lord got a hold of me through great mentors. I just remember\u2014when we got the phone call\u2014when my father died, he was found\u2014and to your point, I don\u2019t even like saying it\u2014he was drunk in an abandoned building. He froze to death in Reno, Nevada. I\u2019m living with my brother\u2014my brother got the phone call. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe told me, and I remember feeling nothing\u2014<em>nothing<\/em>. I was watching <em>I Love Lucy<\/em>\u2014I can remember it like it was yesterday\u2014and just continued. It was like I was so numb. But I can\u2019t think of a time\u2014there wasn\u2019t a time I just lost it, but years later\u2014probably three or four years later, I remember the <em>grief <\/em>of not having a father. That\u2019s what got me, and I sobbed. When I went off to college, I sobbed because I didn\u2019t have a dad who I could talk to\u2014somebody I could confide in\u2014somebody that could hear my hopes, my dreams. He wasn\u2019t there, and it was lonely. It was lonely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you have a chance to talk with your siblings about their experience \/ their memories of growing up in a home with your dad and in the foster-care system? I guess I\u2019m curious, particularly, about how this may have played out differently in the life of a young woman versus a young man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes. We do. Years ago, I wrote a book, <em>Finding Home<\/em>. We sat down and talked through the different ways you look through the prism. Being the youngest of five\u2014and I was six years from my closest sibling\u2014I was the \u201coops\u201d baby.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>So, the four of them were only one year apart. My older brother, who\u2019s ten years older than me, had a different perspective altogether. He was the strapping 14\/15-year-old that would defend my mother with my alcoholic father. He was the one that stepped between them and said, \u201cIf you touch her, I\u2019ll kill you!\u201d Can you imagine being 14 and having to tell your dad that?! So, they were ready to go at it; and they did. They hit each other on two or three occasions. They just punched it out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, he had a totally different perspective. It <em>crushed<\/em> his confidence. Even today, he\u2019d say he\u2019s a man that lacks confidence because of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor my sisters, yes, they had difficulty. They had difficulty in relationships. I mean, we were textbook\u2014when the father\u2019s not present in the home, what happens to the kids? Women\/girls tend to get into promiscuity and drugs\u2014happened to both my sisters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m just curious\u2014why did you not become a victim? I\u2019ve heard a lot of stories, over the years, from men who\u2019ve come from homes\u2014maybe not as bad as you describe. Somehow, the guys are strapped to it. They can\u2019t get over it. They can\u2019t get beyond it, and they\u2019re victims\u2014as men, husbands, and fathers\u2014today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I think one core issue is\u2014you have to deal with God in that. If you have the inkling\u2014as a little child, a teenager, a twenty-something\u2014that maybe God is who He said He was\u2014figure it out, and then root yourself into Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the Lord, by His grace, gave me that clarity to be able to rely upon Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Gave you a new identity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Gave me an identity. I didn\u2019t have to be something I wasn\u2019t. You can be broken and come to God. That\u2019s the beauty of it! You don\u2019t have to be perfect. If you\u2019re waiting to be perfect to come to Christ, you\u2019re going to be waiting a long time. Come broken, and He will give you a new identity in Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; there\u2019s no doubt about it. I\u2019m just smiling as you say it. We\u2019re all broken when we come to Christ. You know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>True.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The ground at the cross is level. I don\u2019t care what your background is that you\u2019ve come from\u2014if you\u2019ll humble yourself, and give your life to Jesus Christ, and cry out to Him as your Savior and Master, He\u2019ll save you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>And you know, the beauty of it, when you apply it to fatherhood\u2014which is what this book\u2019s about\u2014the good dad\u2014we\u2019re trying, in the church, to be perfect\u2014to be the perfect dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think the Lord expects us to be perfect. He knows we\u2019re not perfect. We\u2019re going to make mistakes. We\u2019re going to shout at the kids now and then. We\u2019re going to do things that we shouldn\u2019t do. But the good news is: \u201cExhale. Relax. Confront those things in you, and be a better dad tomorrow.\u201d That\u2019s it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, it\u2019s interesting because we started off\u2014talking about a dad who wasn\u2019t perfect but was a good dad versus a dad who ran out when you were five years old. I think a lot of guys are saying: \u201cOkay, I don\u2019t want to be the dad I had. I want to be different; but all I know, at this point, is what <em>not<\/em> to be. I don\u2019t want to do it. I\u2019ve seen the model of what <em>not<\/em> to do. So, I\u2019m not going to do what my dad did.\u201d But they don\u2019t have a model of what <em>to do<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What\u2019s at the core of a dad being a good dad? If a dad\u2019s going to win, as a dad, what\u2019s at the core of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I think the very core is love\u2014that\u2019s it. I think it\u2019s the one thing that we all, as human beings\u2014if we possess it\u2014and I think that comes from the hand of God. I don\u2019t think the enemy of our soul can distribute love; but I think, as a father, if we can grasp that\u2014if we can love our children\u2014I think it makes all the difference in the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt can be hard, at times, to love your child\u2014I think men, particularly. When the kids were young, I had a difficult time connecting with my kids when they were three, and four, and five. I thought: \u201cWow! When is it going to happen? When am I going to be connecting with them emotionally? When can we throw a ball together? When can we go do things together?\u201d That\u2019s one of the core things\u2014guys like to do things, and we like to teach while we\u2019re doing. We like to learn while we\u2019re doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think, when your kids are young, it\u2019s hard to connect that way; but at the core, Bob, what you\u2019re saying, is love. That\u2019s what we need. That tether of love\u2014I describe it in the book like a tether-ball\u2014that that pole in tether-ball\u2014you remember that game? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDid you ever play it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I do. I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>That pole is like you, the parent. That ball is your child\u2014and maybe that teenager that\u2019s wandering off. That line\u2014that tether\u2014is the love you have for each other, hopefully. If that tether gets severed, you\u2019re in trouble. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, the ball\u2019s close to the pole. Sometimes, the ball is far from the pole; but what we have to do, as parents, is maintain the tether. Don\u2019t let it shred itself. The way that happens is by accusation\u2014by being mean-spirited, as a parent. By not showing the love of God to someone\u2014guess what?\u2014who\u2019s a sinner\u2014that\u2019s your child. We\u2019re all born as sinners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What you were just talking about\u2014about a man being filled with love and acting in love\u2014Paul talks about. It\u2019s a verse we have used many times, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, to exhort men: 1 Corinthians 16:13-14\u2014Paul says: \u201cBe watchful. Stand firm in the faith. Act like men. Be strong.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then it concludes\u2014it says, \u201cLet all that you do be done in love.\u201d I have to confess something to both of you guys, here today. I watched <em>The View<\/em>, [Laughter] back last winter, when we got stranded with all the ice\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Turn your man-card in at the door will you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I thought: \u201cYou know what? I don\u2019t think I have ever watched a clip of <em>The View<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But Jane Fonda was on there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And they were talking about the new man she was with now. They weren\u2019t talking about marriage. I don\u2019t think she\u2019s married to the guy at all, but I did find this discussion most interesting. They said: \u201cWhat\u2019s the key? What\u2019s the key?\u201d She said, \u201cHe is a kind man.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just kind of stop there for a moment. You go, as a man: \u201cWould Barbara describe me\u2014as her husband and father of her children, and grandfather to a bunch\u2014would she describe me as being kind?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s an aspect of love\u2014being respectful \/ being very gracious to other people. You\u2019ve used it many times, Jim, in our conversation. You\u2019ve talked about being mean. That\u2019s not how you become the good dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just thinking about all of the people that we\u2019ve talked to over the years. As they\u2019ve described their dad, they\u2019ve come back to, \u201cBut I always knew that he loved me.\u201d Somehow, it\u2019s to your point. It\u2019s like, if a child knows: \u201cNo matter what, Dad loves me,\u201d that covers a multitude of sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it\u2019s back to\u2014you asked me to kind of grade my dad. My dad\u2019s nickname was Hook\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014not because he had a hook on his arm but because he had a wicked curveball. He was a leftie\u2014pitched a game against Dizzy Dean. His curveball was about the only thing that was wicked about my dad; okay? He was a man, but he was a <em>good <\/em>dad. I always knew he loved me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He didn\u2019t do it all perfectly\u2014he wasn\u2019t this super, super dad. Jim, I have wanted to ask you a question\u2014that I\u2019m going to wait until after Bob tells our listeners how they can get a copy of your book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And this is always exciting\u2014where Dennis springs these final questions on the guest\u2014so let me let our listeners now: \u201cYou can get a copy of Jim Daly\u2019s book, <em>The Good Dad: Becoming the Father You Were Meant to Be<\/em>, when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. If you click at the upper left-hand side of the screen, where it says \u2018Go Deeper,\u2019 all the information you need about Jim\u2019s book is available right there. Again, it\u2019s called <em>The Good Dad<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can order by phone. Call 1-800-358-6329, that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Again, the title of the book is <em>The Good Dad<\/em> by Jim Daly. You can ask about a copy when you call; or you can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, I know that you agree, Jim, that for a man to be a good dad, he has to first be a good man\u2014has to understand what God has called us to, as men. At FamilyLife, we have a video series. It\u2019s a ten-week series for guys called <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><em>: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em> that walks men through what it means to be a man: \u201cWhat are the core character issues that are essential for us, as men?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re hoping that this summer there would be many of our listeners who would say, \u201cYou know, I could take a group of guys through that material,\u201d or, \u201cI could get together with some other dads and teenage sons, and we could all go through it together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, our team has agreed: \u201cThis week, if guys will get the DVD set from us, we\u2019ll include, at no additional cost, five workbooks so that you can take a group of guys through this material. You can provide the workbooks for them at no additional cost. All you have to do is buy the DVD set.\u201d You can get the details when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper left-hand corner that says \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d Then look for the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series. All the details are available right there. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say: \u201cI heard about the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> special offer. I have some questions,\u201d or, \u201c\u2026I\u2019m ready to order.\u201d You can order over the phone if you\u2019d like. Again, 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number; or go, online, to FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong><br><strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, real quickly, let me remind our listeners that we have just a couple of weeks to go for us to be able to take advantage of the special matching-gift fund that has been set up for FamilyLife to try to give us a boost as we go into the summer months. When you make a donation today, the amount you donate is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, with funds from the matching-gift fund, until we get to a total of $410,000. Then the fund is exhausted. Of course, your donation still counts\u2014it just won\u2019t be matched once we get there\u2014but we still have a ways to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make an online donation. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Or, you can write a check and mail it to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our mailing address is P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s been our privilege today to talk to the president and CEO of <em>Focus on the Family<\/em>, Jim Daly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe shared a lot about his own upbringing\u2014where he\u2019s come from\u2014as a man, husband, father. I\u2019ve wanted to ask you this question, Jim, on a number of occasions. I don\u2019t think I asked it the last time you were on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. What would you say is the most courageous thing you have ever done, as a man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Probably, follow behind Dr. Dobson\u2014that was difficult to do. I felt, and still feel, ill-equipped to do that job. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Big shoes to fill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Big shoes. I remember the first question that was asked of me. Dr. Dobson and I were at a press conference. The first question a journalist said was, \u201cHow are you going to fill his shoes?\u201d I remember thinking and saying: \u201cI can\u2019t. I have to get my own pair.\u201d That\u2019s so true. I think it\u2019s not a\u2014you have to be who you are in everything you do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t have to be <em>Focus on the Family<\/em>\u2014but if\u2014whatever my vocation would be, I would want to pursue the Lord that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think, in terms of courage\u2014when I look at all the things that I had to face, as a child\u2014I think in many ways they were all preparation for the big challenges\u2014doing what I have to do at <em>Focus<\/em> every day. Who would have thought? For me\u2014I never thought that a guy that\u2014my goodness, had the family that I had\u2014I mean, had four fathers\u2014and <em>not the forefathers<\/em>\u2014but <em>four<\/em> fathers! But when I look at all that\u2014and I think, thirty years down the road\u2014God smiling, saying, \u201cI\u2019ve prepared you, since you were a boy, for this assignment because you have <em>felt<\/em> just about every family that you can live in.\u201d That spoke volumes to my heart. It\u2019s not a PhD\u2014it\u2019s living it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And to the man or the woman who\u2019s just heard you say what you just said\u2014there is great hope that God\u2019s power works best in a graveyard\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014where there\u2019s hopelessness \/ where He can raise something from the dead that you wouldn\u2019t believe could exist. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim, I think you\u2019re right. I think for you to be in a leadership position like you are\u2014coming from where you came from\u2014unbelievable!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Only God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Has to be only God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014only God and for His glory. I mean, that\u2019s the thing. We cannot\u2014we <em>cannot<\/em> take any of this for our own self. We didn\u2019t do it. We didn\u2019t create it. I know you feel that way, Dennis, about FamilyLife. The Lord\u2019s hand is on you, and then you just go and do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.49M"],"filesize_raw":["24629181"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303063.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303063.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your father?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-06-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong><em>Focus on the Family<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2019s Jim Daly says every one of us has a longing to be connected to an earthly father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I just remember, when we got the phone call when my father died, he was found\u2014and I don\u2019t even like saying it\u2014he was drunk in an abandoned building\u2014froze to death. I remember feeling nothing\u2014<em>nothing<\/em>. But years later\u2014probably three or four years later, I remember the <em>grief<\/em> of not having a father. That\u2019s what got me, and I sobbed because I didn\u2019t have a dad who I could talk to\u2014somebody I could confide in\u2014somebody that could hear my hopes, my dreams. He wasn\u2019t there. It was lonely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, June 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How can you, as a father, be the dad that your kids want you to be\u2014the kind of dad you long to be? We\u2019ll talk about that with Jim Daly today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I\u2019ve heard you talk about your dad and the impact that he had in your life. I guess I\u2019ve always thought, \u201cIf we were scoring dads, on a one-to-ten scale, your dad would have been near the top of the scale\u2014nine or ten\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s a tough evaluation, Bob. I\u2019m aware of my dad\u2019s shortcomings. Based upon what I\u2019ve heard from other men and what they received from their fathers, it\u2019s difficult to find much to critique, negatively, about my dad. So, I want to say he was an authentic man\u2014he wasn\u2019t a perfect man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He came from a broken home himself. His dad deserted him when he was a boy and left him with his mom and his eight brothers and sisters. It was a tough time. I mean, they were dirt poor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, how he became the man he became\u2014I scratch my head sometimes because he should have been a victim. It would have been easy for him to have become a victim. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a dad here with us in the studio who <em>also <\/em>could have become a victim, but he\u2019s chosen not to. He\u2019s chosen to become a good dad, and he\u2019s written a book by the same title. Jim Daly joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Jim, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>It\u2019s great to be with you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Jim has been married to his wife Jean since 1986. They have two sons. He has written a book subtitled: <em>Becoming the Father You Were Meant to Be<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of our listeners who know Jim Daly, you know that he is the president and CEO of <em>Focus on the Family<\/em>. You also know that his passion for fatherhood comes out of his own life. You begin this book going back to a dads\u2019 night and a football game.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. Take us back there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I can still feel that. You know, I played football\u2014I loved football. I got into sports\u2014that was my thing. That\u2019s where I found serenity. I remember being a sophomore. I don\u2019t know what happened\u2014I broke my wrist my freshman year\u2014so I didn\u2019t make it to dads\u2019 night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then my sophomore year\u2014one of the evenings\u2014Thursday night for the JV game\u2014we got out there, and it was dads\u2019 night. They called everybody out and the fathers would come and stand next to their sons. Back in the \u201870s, it was rare not to have a father in your life. I remember they called my name and said, \u201cJim\u2019s father is not present tonight.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Were you the only one?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>There were, I think, three of us, out of about 25\/30 players.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Those moments mark our lives; don\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>They do. They\u2019re seared into our consciousness. You know, we don\u2019t forget them. Today, there\u2019s been that debate about whether it\u2019s embarrassing\u2014we shouldn\u2019t embarrass the poor kid without a dad. I felt good for the other players\u2014I was glad their dads were there. So it wasn\u2019t a thing where I felt we shouldn\u2019t do fathers\u2019 night. It wasn\u2019t a political thing. I just felt empty. I felt like: \u201cI don\u2019t have a dad.\u201d And that was the truth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your dad had left when you were five years old. Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I was five. My dad\u2014it was a terrible night. I remember my dad just\u2014you know\u2014was an alcoholic. There are probably a lot of people listening that had alcoholic fathers. For me, he loved me\u2014<em>I knew<\/em> he loved me. He showed it; but alcohol\u2014I guess, now, when I look back on it\u2014he loved that more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Was he abusive when he got drunk?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Not to me. My oldest brother\u2014he was ten years older than me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe and my brother would fight, physically, because my dad would get drunk\u2014he would say that he was going to do things to my mom. That was that night when I was five. He came home drunk at night. My mom was not home. He took a hammer\u2014pounded it through the walls\u2014sat down in a chair, and began to thump that hammer on the ground, saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to kill your mom when she gets home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just remember my brother put me in the master bedroom\u2014shut the door, which is scary to a five-year-old. I just lay there, <em>listening<\/em>, with this instinct of survival\u2014laying in that bed, hearing every thud\u2014every yell and scream my dad would blurt out. Next thing I know, police are at the door. The policeman pops into the room. He walked in and said, \u201cAre you okay?\u201d I said, \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d Then, he put his hand on my chest\u2014I think just to assure me\u2014and he left the room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got up and snuck behind him. He went out the front door. There my dad was in handcuffs, and they put him in a car, and drove him away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy mom was on the other side of the yard. The next morning, we got up and moved. That was the last time, for a couple of years, that I saw my dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I\u2019m listening to you describe that. I\u2019m imagining myself as a five-year-old boy. I remember an incident in our home. This is the only such incident I have any memory of. It was an argument that my mom and dad had, but it was <em>nothing<\/em> like what you described. It was just a big emotional disagreement. I literally remember shaking at that argument that occurred between my mom and dad, which was the only such thing that occurred in my family\u2014ever. I don\u2019t think it ever occurred again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m picturing you\u2014where that was almost a regular diet of drunkenness or abusive behavior \/ abusive words. How did you absorb that, from an emotional standpoint, as a boy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I think, as a little boy, I went to a different place, emotionally. I cordoned that off and said, \u201cThat\u2019s that, and the rest of my life is over here.\u201d So, I did well in school. I did well in sports\u2014that gave me confidence. But, you know, it\u2019s amazing, as you shared your story, Dennis, how that memory\u2019s so vivid for you\u2014even though it was one argument.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I think for children, that\u2019s\u2014we seek, as children, stability. Stability speaks to our heart because, in that, we learn trust. We learn so much about God\u2019s character when it\u2019s healthy. And when it\u2019s not, we learn fear. We learn to withdraw emotionally. That\u2019s what happens\u2014I think you just close off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When a boy kind of sections off the fear, the worry, the anxiety, and kind of puts a lid on the bottle and says: \u201cYou know what? That\u2019s just over there because of what I\u2019m seeing at home.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUsually, the lid comes off at some point. Did that happen in your adolescence or later on in adulthood, where you were faced with some of what you\u2019d kind of jammed into a corner?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I think for me, when I was 15, I accepted Christ. I wobbled along because, at that point, now, I\u2019ve had my bio dad; I\u2019ve had a stepfather; I was in foster-care, where the foster-father accused me of trying to murder him. I was nine-and-a-half! I couldn\u2019t understand any of this: \u201cWhy do these adults not know reality? I\u2019m a little boy, and I know it better than they do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, at 15, I accepted Christ. I lived with my brother. He was 18\/19. I was 12. I remember going playing football in high school, and I\u2019d say, \u201cWhat time do you want me to come home?\u201d He\u2019d say, \u201cAhh\u2014two or three in the morning.\u201d I\u2019d think to myself, \u201cI\u2019ll try to stay out that late.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>There was no boundary on me; but at 15, the Lord got a hold of me through great mentors. I just remember\u2014when we got the phone call\u2014when my father died, he was found\u2014and to your point, I don\u2019t even like saying it\u2014he was drunk in an abandoned building. He froze to death in Reno, Nevada. I\u2019m living with my brother\u2014my brother got the phone call. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe told me, and I remember feeling nothing\u2014<em>nothing<\/em>. I was watching <em>I Love Lucy<\/em>\u2014I can remember it like it was yesterday\u2014and just continued. It was like I was so numb. But I can\u2019t think of a time\u2014there wasn\u2019t a time I just lost it, but years later\u2014probably three or four years later, I remember the <em>grief <\/em>of not having a father. That\u2019s what got me, and I sobbed. When I went off to college, I sobbed because I didn\u2019t have a dad who I could talk to\u2014somebody I could confide in\u2014somebody that could hear my hopes, my dreams. He wasn\u2019t there, and it was lonely. It was lonely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you have a chance to talk with your siblings about their experience \/ their memories of growing up in a home with your dad and in the foster-care system? I guess I\u2019m curious, particularly, about how this may have played out differently in the life of a young woman versus a young man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes. We do. Years ago, I wrote a book, <em>Finding Home<\/em>. We sat down and talked through the different ways you look through the prism. Being the youngest of five\u2014and I was six years from my closest sibling\u2014I was the \u201coops\u201d baby.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>So, the four of them were only one year apart. My older brother, who\u2019s ten years older than me, had a different perspective altogether. He was the strapping 14\/15-year-old that would defend my mother with my alcoholic father. He was the one that stepped between them and said, \u201cIf you touch her, I\u2019ll kill you!\u201d Can you imagine being 14 and having to tell your dad that?! So, they were ready to go at it; and they did. They hit each other on two or three occasions. They just punched it out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, he had a totally different perspective. It <em>crushed<\/em> his confidence. Even today, he\u2019d say he\u2019s a man that lacks confidence because of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor my sisters, yes, they had difficulty. They had difficulty in relationships. I mean, we were textbook\u2014when the father\u2019s not present in the home, what happens to the kids? Women\/girls tend to get into promiscuity and drugs\u2014happened to both my sisters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m just curious\u2014why did you not become a victim? I\u2019ve heard a lot of stories, over the years, from men who\u2019ve come from homes\u2014maybe not as bad as you describe. Somehow, the guys are strapped to it. They can\u2019t get over it. They can\u2019t get beyond it, and they\u2019re victims\u2014as men, husbands, and fathers\u2014today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I think one core issue is\u2014you have to deal with God in that. If you have the inkling\u2014as a little child, a teenager, a twenty-something\u2014that maybe God is who He said He was\u2014figure it out, and then root yourself into Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the Lord, by His grace, gave me that clarity to be able to rely upon Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Gave you a new identity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Gave me an identity. I didn\u2019t have to be something I wasn\u2019t. You can be broken and come to God. That\u2019s the beauty of it! You don\u2019t have to be perfect. If you\u2019re waiting to be perfect to come to Christ, you\u2019re going to be waiting a long time. Come broken, and He will give you a new identity in Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; there\u2019s no doubt about it. I\u2019m just smiling as you say it. We\u2019re all broken when we come to Christ. You know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>True.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The ground at the cross is level. I don\u2019t care what your background is that you\u2019ve come from\u2014if you\u2019ll humble yourself, and give your life to Jesus Christ, and cry out to Him as your Savior and Master, He\u2019ll save you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>And you know, the beauty of it, when you apply it to fatherhood\u2014which is what this book\u2019s about\u2014the good dad\u2014we\u2019re trying, in the church, to be perfect\u2014to be the perfect dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think the Lord expects us to be perfect. He knows we\u2019re not perfect. We\u2019re going to make mistakes. We\u2019re going to shout at the kids now and then. We\u2019re going to do things that we shouldn\u2019t do. But the good news is: \u201cExhale. Relax. Confront those things in you, and be a better dad tomorrow.\u201d That\u2019s it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, it\u2019s interesting because we started off\u2014talking about a dad who wasn\u2019t perfect but was a good dad versus a dad who ran out when you were five years old. I think a lot of guys are saying: \u201cOkay, I don\u2019t want to be the dad I had. I want to be different; but all I know, at this point, is what <em>not<\/em> to be. I don\u2019t want to do it. I\u2019ve seen the model of what <em>not<\/em> to do. So, I\u2019m not going to do what my dad did.\u201d But they don\u2019t have a model of what <em>to do<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What\u2019s at the core of a dad being a good dad? If a dad\u2019s going to win, as a dad, what\u2019s at the core of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I think the very core is love\u2014that\u2019s it. I think it\u2019s the one thing that we all, as human beings\u2014if we possess it\u2014and I think that comes from the hand of God. I don\u2019t think the enemy of our soul can distribute love; but I think, as a father, if we can grasp that\u2014if we can love our children\u2014I think it makes all the difference in the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt can be hard, at times, to love your child\u2014I think men, particularly. When the kids were young, I had a difficult time connecting with my kids when they were three, and four, and five. I thought: \u201cWow! When is it going to happen? When am I going to be connecting with them emotionally? When can we throw a ball together? When can we go do things together?\u201d That\u2019s one of the core things\u2014guys like to do things, and we like to teach while we\u2019re doing. We like to learn while we\u2019re doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think, when your kids are young, it\u2019s hard to connect that way; but at the core, Bob, what you\u2019re saying, is love. That\u2019s what we need. That tether of love\u2014I describe it in the book like a tether-ball\u2014that that pole in tether-ball\u2014you remember that game? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDid you ever play it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I do. I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>That pole is like you, the parent. That ball is your child\u2014and maybe that teenager that\u2019s wandering off. That line\u2014that tether\u2014is the love you have for each other, hopefully. If that tether gets severed, you\u2019re in trouble. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, the ball\u2019s close to the pole. Sometimes, the ball is far from the pole; but what we have to do, as parents, is maintain the tether. Don\u2019t let it shred itself. The way that happens is by accusation\u2014by being mean-spirited, as a parent. By not showing the love of God to someone\u2014guess what?\u2014who\u2019s a sinner\u2014that\u2019s your child. We\u2019re all born as sinners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What you were just talking about\u2014about a man being filled with love and acting in love\u2014Paul talks about. It\u2019s a verse we have used many times, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, to exhort men: 1 Corinthians 16:13-14\u2014Paul says: \u201cBe watchful. Stand firm in the faith. Act like men. Be strong.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then it concludes\u2014it says, \u201cLet all that you do be done in love.\u201d I have to confess something to both of you guys, here today. I watched <em>The View<\/em>, [Laughter] back last winter, when we got stranded with all the ice\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Turn your man-card in at the door will you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I thought: \u201cYou know what? I don\u2019t think I have ever watched a clip of <em>The View<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But Jane Fonda was on there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And they were talking about the new man she was with now. They weren\u2019t talking about marriage. I don\u2019t think she\u2019s married to the guy at all, but I did find this discussion most interesting. They said: \u201cWhat\u2019s the key? What\u2019s the key?\u201d She said, \u201cHe is a kind man.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just kind of stop there for a moment. You go, as a man: \u201cWould Barbara describe me\u2014as her husband and father of her children, and grandfather to a bunch\u2014would she describe me as being kind?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s an aspect of love\u2014being respectful \/ being very gracious to other people. You\u2019ve used it many times, Jim, in our conversation. You\u2019ve talked about being mean. That\u2019s not how you become the good dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just thinking about all of the people that we\u2019ve talked to over the years. As they\u2019ve described their dad, they\u2019ve come back to, \u201cBut I always knew that he loved me.\u201d Somehow, it\u2019s to your point. It\u2019s like, if a child knows: \u201cNo matter what, Dad loves me,\u201d that covers a multitude of sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it\u2019s back to\u2014you asked me to kind of grade my dad. My dad\u2019s nickname was Hook\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014not because he had a hook on his arm but because he had a wicked curveball. He was a leftie\u2014pitched a game against Dizzy Dean. His curveball was about the only thing that was wicked about my dad; okay? He was a man, but he was a <em>good <\/em>dad. I always knew he loved me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He didn\u2019t do it all perfectly\u2014he wasn\u2019t this super, super dad. Jim, I have wanted to ask you a question\u2014that I\u2019m going to wait until after Bob tells our listeners how they can get a copy of your book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And this is always exciting\u2014where Dennis springs these final questions on the guest\u2014so let me let our listeners now: \u201cYou can get a copy of Jim Daly\u2019s book, <em>The Good Dad: Becoming the Father You Were Meant to Be<\/em>, when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. If you click at the upper left-hand side of the screen, where it says \u2018Go Deeper,\u2019 all the information you need about Jim\u2019s book is available right there. Again, it\u2019s called <em>The Good Dad<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can order by phone. Call 1-800-358-6329, that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Again, the title of the book is <em>The Good Dad<\/em> by Jim Daly. You can ask about a copy when you call; or you can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, I know that you agree, Jim, that for a man to be a good dad, he has to first be a good man\u2014has to understand what God has called us to, as men. At FamilyLife, we have a video series. It\u2019s a ten-week series for guys called <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><em>: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em> that walks men through what it means to be a man: \u201cWhat are the core character issues that are essential for us, as men?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re hoping that this summer there would be many of our listeners who would say, \u201cYou know, I could take a group of guys through that material,\u201d or, \u201cI could get together with some other dads and teenage sons, and we could all go through it together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, our team has agreed: \u201cThis week, if guys will get the DVD set from us, we\u2019ll include, at no additional cost, five workbooks so that you can take a group of guys through this material. You can provide the workbooks for them at no additional cost. All you have to do is buy the DVD set.\u201d You can get the details when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper left-hand corner that says \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d Then look for the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series. All the details are available right there. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say: \u201cI heard about the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> special offer. I have some questions,\u201d or, \u201c\u2026I\u2019m ready to order.\u201d You can order over the phone if you\u2019d like. Again, 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number; or go, online, to FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong><br><strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, real quickly, let me remind our listeners that we have just a couple of weeks to go for us to be able to take advantage of the special matching-gift fund that has been set up for FamilyLife to try to give us a boost as we go into the summer months. When you make a donation today, the amount you donate is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, with funds from the matching-gift fund, until we get to a total of $410,000. Then the fund is exhausted. Of course, your donation still counts\u2014it just won\u2019t be matched once we get there\u2014but we still have a ways to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make an online donation. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Or, you can write a check and mail it to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our mailing address is P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s been our privilege today to talk to the president and CEO of <em>Focus on the Family<\/em>, Jim Daly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe shared a lot about his own upbringing\u2014where he\u2019s come from\u2014as a man, husband, father. I\u2019ve wanted to ask you this question, Jim, on a number of occasions. I don\u2019t think I asked it the last time you were on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. What would you say is the most courageous thing you have ever done, as a man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Probably, follow behind Dr. Dobson\u2014that was difficult to do. I felt, and still feel, ill-equipped to do that job. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Big shoes to fill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Big shoes. I remember the first question that was asked of me. Dr. Dobson and I were at a press conference. The first question a journalist said was, \u201cHow are you going to fill his shoes?\u201d I remember thinking and saying: \u201cI can\u2019t. I have to get my own pair.\u201d That\u2019s so true. I think it\u2019s not a\u2014you have to be who you are in everything you do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t have to be <em>Focus on the Family<\/em>\u2014but if\u2014whatever my vocation would be, I would want to pursue the Lord that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think, in terms of courage\u2014when I look at all the things that I had to face, as a child\u2014I think in many ways they were all preparation for the big challenges\u2014doing what I have to do at <em>Focus<\/em> every day. Who would have thought? For me\u2014I never thought that a guy that\u2014my goodness, had the family that I had\u2014I mean, had four fathers\u2014and <em>not the forefathers<\/em>\u2014but <em>four<\/em> fathers! But when I look at all that\u2014and I think, thirty years down the road\u2014God smiling, saying, \u201cI\u2019ve prepared you, since you were a boy, for this assignment because you have <em>felt<\/em> just about every family that you can live in.\u201d That spoke volumes to my heart. It\u2019s not a PhD\u2014it\u2019s living it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And to the man or the woman who\u2019s just heard you say what you just said\u2014there is great hope that God\u2019s power works best in a graveyard\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014where there\u2019s hopelessness \/ where He can raise something from the dead that you wouldn\u2019t believe could exist. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim, I think you\u2019re right. I think for you to be in a leadership position like you are\u2014coming from where you came from\u2014unbelievable!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Only God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Has to be only God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014only God and for His glory. I mean, that\u2019s the thing. We cannot\u2014we <em>cannot<\/em> take any of this for our own self. We didn\u2019t do it. We didn\u2019t create it. I know you feel that way, Dennis, about FamilyLife. The Lord\u2019s hand is on you, and then you just go and do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303063"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303063"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303063"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303063"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}