{"id":303061,"date":"2014-05-27T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-05-27T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/true-purity\/"},"modified":"2014-05-27T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-05-27T15:00:00","slug":"true-purity","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/true-purity\/","title":{"rendered":"True Purity"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What does it mean to teach purity to your children?  Is it teaching them a list of dos and don&#8217;ts?  Or is it something deeper, something about their relationship with God?  Michael and Hayley DiMarco address this subject with a biblical foundation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What does it mean to teach purity to your children? Michael and Hayley DiMarco address this subject with a biblical foundation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-05-27.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.89M","filesize_raw":"25054212","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2815,2806],"tags":[5352,4159],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303061","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sexual-wholeness","category-spiritual-development","tag-biblical-purity","tag-gospel","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303061\/true-purity","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303061\/true-purity","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"vSJTZPDn1P\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/true-purity\/\">True Purity<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/true-purity\/embed\/#?secret=vSJTZPDn1P\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;True Purity&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"vSJTZPDn1P\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-05-27.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-05-27.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your kids are going to mess up and so are their friends. What happens at your house when somebody messes up? Here\u2019s Michael DiMarco.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Where is it safer to confess? Is it safer to confess in the locker room at school or in the living room at home? How do we respond, as parents, when we hear about So-and-so\u2019s daughter who did this or slipped up doing that? Then, is our daughter processing: \u201cOh, that\u2019s how they respond to that. That\u2019s something I can never bring up or confess.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If true purity is more than keeping a list of do\u2019s and don\u2019ts, what exactly is it? We\u2019re going to talk about that today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. This is something that you have felt strongly about for a little while; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Absolutely. I mean, we\u2019ve been challenging young people through <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>; through <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>; through the book I wrote about aggressive girls\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>Aggressive Girls<\/em>\u2014yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014<em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless <\/em>Boys\u2014trying to prepare them to handle what\u2019s going to come at them so that they stay pure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, the issue of sexual temptation in the teen years is something that parents have got to know how to address. Honestly, sometimes, it\u2019s not addressed as well as it could be, even in Christian homes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not. I\u2019m thrilled we have a couple of best-selling authors who are really in touch with the youth movement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael and Hayley DiMarco join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Welcome back, guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes, it\u2019s great to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019ve written a book called <em>True Purity: More than Just Saying \u201cNo\u201d to You-Know-What<\/em>. [Laughter] I love that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> That\u2019s right, and you didn\u2019t edit that. That\u2019s exactly what the subtitle is. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We should ask you, before we get into talking about this\u2014we had wanted to ask you about how, at your church, you helped lead the guys at your church through the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> men\u2019s 10-week series that FamilyLife put together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes, we did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell our listeners how that went over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> They hated it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, this broadcast is over! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Don\u2019t buy any of the DiMarcos\u2019 books, either. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Okay, so the crazy thing is\u2014as you know, our home church had a couple of vacancies. They needed to fill some holes. They asked me to serve, in an interim role, as a minister to young adults there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my first kind of executive ministerial mandates, if you will, was: \u201cWe\u2019re going to do a series, just for men, every Sunday night. We\u2019re going to use <em>Stepping Up<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a lot of guys\u2014I have to say a lot of guys, when it was leading up to the time of the launch\u2014they said: \u201cAhh, we\u2019ve kind of done this thing before,\u201d \u201cWell, is it going to be like this or be like that?\u201d I said: \u201cNope! It\u2019s going to be different.\u201d I hadn\u2019t seen it yet, but I just knew. [Laughter] I had previewed it, but we did\u2014Sunday morning, we pulled a big smoker out. We barbecued right at the front doors of the church before worship and put a sign up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know the way to get a man to come to the Bible study; don\u2019t you?! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Oh, it was great!\u2014like mesquite and wood chips and all that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> So, we had barbecue; but the first night\u2014that first 20- \/ 30-minute video that we watched\u2014guys were rapt! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey were just: \u201cWow! This is going to be <em>different<\/em>.\u201d It was really a band of brothers\u2014as far as the men that went through it. When they found out that we were coming over to see you, they just wanted me to convey their thanks for\u2014not just the content but the quality of how it was produced, really, with a man in mind. It was phenomenal!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, that was Bob\u2019s. He can say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Well, thank you, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And at this point, I should probably say: \u201cGo to FamilyLifeToday.com if you\u2019d like more information about <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, and the video series, and how your church could go through the material, or just how you could go through it with a group of guys. We think it is helpful material.\u201d It\u2019s great to hear how God used it in your church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, and we\u2019re calling men to step up toward purity as well. This book you\u2019ve written\u2014this is really for a younger audience. Actually, it\u2019s for the parents who are raising the younger audience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes, it is. We\u2019re kind of stealthy that way. We write books that get stocked on the youth and teen shelves; but we\u2019re really targeting the parents as well because, a lot of times\u2014especially in the subject of purity, you all know\u2014there can be some shameful tactics that are used out of fear and keeping young people from making mistakes with their bodies and their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mentioned that and, in fact, the genesis of this book was in a phone call you got. Tell our listeners about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Oh, yes. Well, it\u2019s confession time. In every book that Hayley and I write\u2014either together or separate\u2014we always have personal confessions. So, I might as well do one on national radio. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got a call. I don\u2019t know how this youth pastor got my cell phone number, but I answered this call. He said: \u201cHey, we\u2019d really like you to come out and do a purity weekend. Every year, we have a purity weekend at our church. We\u2019d like you to come and speak.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cOh! I\u2019d love to, but I\u2019m busy that weekend.\u201d There was this pause on the other end of the line. He said to me, \u201cI haven\u2019t told you the dates yet.\u201d [Laughter] I was busted! I said, \u201cWell, let me tell you about my impure answer.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said: \u201cWhat most churches want, I can\u2019t do because a lot of churches\u2014I\u2019ve seen them\u2014they will herd all of the students into a room\u2014sometimes scare \/ sometimes shame\u2014using scare tactics or just shaming those, unintentionally, those that have already gone too far in their physical lives\u2014and then have them sign or wear something that basically allows parents and pastors to sleep at night\u2014like:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u2018We\u2019ve checked that box. We\u2019ve covered that\u2014\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014\u201c\u2018we have inoculated them.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cI can\u2019t do that.\u201d He said: \u201cWell, okay. What <em>would<\/em> you do?\u201d What I said I would do was really the genesis for this book\u2014and that was to talk about purity from a holistic standpoint of: \u201cWe don\u2019t find our purity in our behaviors, but we find it in a Person\u2014and that is Jesus Christ. It\u2019s in our <em>identity<\/em> with Him that we get our purity and then that <em>informs<\/em> every decision that we make\u2014whether with our bodies, with our relationships, with our motivations for doing things\u2014it\u2019s that walking in the Spirit that is really where we find our purity.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Hayley, can you explain what Michael just said? \u201cWe find our purity in a Person.\u201d Help unpack what that\u2019s all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Well, I know for both of us\u2014for a long time in our lives, we looked at purity as something that we wanted. We understood it, and we did all that we could to try to protect it. For me, I wasn\u2019t going to have sex before marriage; I was going to be perfect. I was tough. I was doing all that I could to try and remain pure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael had a similar\u2014well, dissimilar but same focus\u2014trying to have this purity. So, this idea is normal\u2014that we think: \u201cI have to do this. I can\u2019t do this. I\u2019ll make a list of things.\u201d We attempt to do them in our own strength. What we\u2019re saying is purity isn\u2019t really a list of what you do or what you don\u2019t do. The Bible tells us that Christ is our purity. We were not\u2014we have this false idea that we are born pure and, at some point along the way, we mess up and we lose our purity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe truth of the matter is that we are not born pure. We\u2019re all born sinful. We gain our purity through accepting Christ as our Savior. He gives us our purity. For so many kids who think: \u201cI\u2019ve messed up. I\u2019ve just not been perfect.\u201d Well, yes! You\u2019re human: \u201cThere\u2019s no one righteous, not even one.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want people to understand where that purity truly comes from\u2014not from self\u2014but from Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s one thing, though, for a teenager to say, \u201cI messed up because I\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cgot mad at my little sister the other day.\u201d It\u2019s another thing to say, \u201cI messed up because I\u2019ve been having sex with my boyfriend.\u201d Those are different levels. Can we just simply say: \u201cWell, yes, you\u2019re human\u2014so, we\u2019re all going to do that kind of thing\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Oh, no. Yes, that\u2019s what it sounded like I said. Thank you for correcting me because, no, that\u2019s definitely <em>not<\/em> what we\u2019re saying. What we\u2019re trying to get the point across is that purity isn\u2019t about you. It\u2019s about Him. As long as we think that it\u2019s something that we can do, then, we\u2019re going to fail. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s my testimony\u2014that I failed. I said, \u201cI\u2019m not going to do this.\u201d And every month \/ or every week \/ every year\u2014just as my life moved on, I went farther. The line kind of moved. \u201cHow far is too far?\u201d became, \u201cUm, over here.\u201d I would move it farther and farther out because my humanity warred so much against me that I couldn\u2019t keep it up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if your entire purity is wrapped up in who He is. The question of \u201cHow far is too far?\u201d really doesn\u2019t come up because you want to know Him, and Him alone, and \u201cWhat does He want?\u201d Your life is centered on searching Him out and knowing Him more. As you\u2019re focused on that, those questions don\u2019t pop up. The line doesn\u2019t move because you\u2019re not even looking at the line. You\u2019re not trying to satisfy yourself, or please yourself, or even your parents. You just want to know <em>Him<\/em>\u2014you want to know Christ more. In <em>that<\/em>, you find your purity. You find that you aren\u2019t sleeping with your boyfriend because \u201cWhy would you do that?\u201d It\u2019s completely inconsistent with the life of Christ in you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s still the question that a teenager\u2019s going to have when they meet this girl. They go, \u201cI would like to kiss her.\u201d And then they think, \u201cIs that okay for me to kiss her?\u201d How does pursuing an understanding of purity in Christ help you answer the question of whether it\u2019s okay to kiss this girl or not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> And that\u2019s the great thing about things like <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>\u2014is it is parent-generated\u2014spiritual\u2014whether it is biological parent or spiritual parent\u2014it\u2019s parent-generated conversations about the motivations behind <em>why<\/em> you want what you want\u2014<em>why<\/em> you want to do what you want to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWhy do you want to kiss that girl?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> So the question is, \u201c<em>Why<\/em> do you want to kiss her?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> That\u2019s where we start; but if there\u2019s a parent listening and saying, \u201cWhere do I start with questioning my teenager beyond that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk: \u201cHow do you base your friendships? How do you choose who\u2019s a friend and who\u2019s not?\u201d because if you just go to that question, that\u2019s going to reveal a lot about what their orientation is as far as their motivations: \u201cIt\u2019s what I get out of the relationship\u2014it is how they make me <em>feel<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s the power of peer pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrankly, having raised six children all the way through the perilous peer pressure years, I\u2019m going to tell you that by the time Barbara and I finished that process\u2014it was <em>the<\/em> most challenging period in raising our children because you can give them good theology about who they are in Christ\u2014but I\u2019m going to tell you something\u2014the power of peers\u2014when you\u2019re not there at school, and they\u2019re rubbing shoulders with them, and they\u2019re out on Friday night\u2014hanging out with them, or going to a party \/ having fun. It\u2019s the real deal. Parents have got to stay in the game and be really engaged with their kids around these issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s why the answer can\u2019t be: \u201cHere\u2019s our list of do\u2019s and don\u2019ts: You can\u2019t go this far. You can kiss. You can\u2019t do that.\u201d A lot of people want to know\u2014they want these boundaries. We want boundaries so that we can feel free to run around within them and just feel free to kick our heels up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> \u2014and not feel guilty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> That\u2019s the reason that kids ask, \u201cHow far is too far?\u201d But if we make it about that, then they\u2019re always going to either push the boundaries or they are going to run around and have fun within those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a parent tries to do that, I think they make a mistake in that they don\u2019t get, as Michael\u2019s saying, to the <em>root<\/em> of the matter\u2014and that is: \u201cLet\u2019s move all that aside. Let\u2019s talk about your relationship with God because\u2014if you understand the depth of His love and <em>you<\/em> love Him, in kind\u2014then, your desires change\u2014not only your desires for the opposite sex but for the same. You think: \u2018Well, I have a friendship\u2014not so that I can be more popular, or so that I can go to parties, or so that I\u2019m not alone\u2014but so that they will magnify my voice for Christ.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> And then, they start to think about life differently. It isn\u2019t just something where you can just say, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to do this, this, and this\u201d; but rather it\u2019s a walking through your life with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I really think the question that you posed\u2014which is: \u201cWhy do you want to kiss? Why do you want to do whatever you want to do?\u201d really takes us right to the core\u2014right to the root\u2014of all of this. I\u2019m thinking back to when I was in high school. I was not primarily motivated in wanting to kiss a girl out of the fact that God would be glorified and she would be honored\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014by my doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Right; right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Had that thought ever occurred to you, in fact?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No, it was completely off the radar screen. \u201cWhy did I want to kiss her?\u201d\u2014because it was <em>all <\/em>about me! It was a whole selfish motivation. Now, let\u2019s forget, for a moment, whether it was right to kiss her or not. To be selfish wasn\u2019t right. It could be that we would say, \u201cWell, kissing\u2014that\u2019s no big deal.\u201d I would say, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s fine; but the motivation is where you get off the rails.\u201d When we get to that\u2014now, all of a sudden, we\u2019re unlocking a whole different puzzle than just, \u201cWhat\u2019s your sexuality going to look like?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> And the core of purity is 100 percent. There is nothing on this earth that is 100 percent pure. You buy a gold ring, and it\u2019s not 100 percent gold. There are always those trace elements. You buy a bottle of water that says\u2014and here\u2019s a little trick for you. Find any bottled water\u2014it will say \u201c<em>purified<\/em> water\u201d on there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt didn\u2019t start pure; and, even then, there\u2019s an asterisks that says, \u201cWell, it might have\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201ctrace elements.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cparts per million of whatever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur rule for purity is 100 percent. Scripture points\u2014Jesus Himself says that: \u201cThe greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God will <em>all <\/em>your heart\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014\u201c<em>all<\/em> your soul, <em>all <\/em>your mind<em>, all <\/em>your strength\u201d [Emphasis added]\u2014as it says in the Gospel of Mark\u2014so that\u2019s 100 percent. What Jesus was saying was <em>not<\/em> that: \u201cSo this is what you do, and you\u2019re able to do it.\u201d He was summarizing the Law. Because Jesus came to fulfill the Law\u2014fulfill the Law that we couldn\u2019t keep\u2014Jesus is saying: \u201cThis is impossible without Me\u2014through Me you become pure.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we look at purity as <em>that<\/em> definition, then there\u2019s no way that we can love God with our all\u2014with our selfish nature \/ with our sinful hearts\u2014but through Christ! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the big picture is this\u2014when we\u2019re talking about kids \/ when we\u2019re talking about parents. We have firemen, policemen, SWAT, Air Force, Coast Guard, Army, Marines\u2014I left someone out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The Navy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> The Navy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There we go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cAnchors away!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have all of these men and women that train for the worst-case scenario; but we encounter so many parents in our travels who never prepare for the worst-case scenario of: \u201cWhat my child is going to come home and confess,\u201d \u201cWhat I\u2019m going to find on my daughter\u2019s cell phone,\u201d \u201cWhat I\u2019m going to find on my son\u2019s computer.\u201d We <em>hope<\/em> that we never have to face the worst-case scenario, but parents are the first responders in the lives of their children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> So we\u2014Hayley and I\u2014even though our daughter\u2019s only seven, we drill for the worst-case scenario of what she could come home and confess when she\u2019s a teenager\u2014what she could come home during the holidays from her dorm room in college. We drill through how we\u2019re going to respond so that it becomes second nature. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> So, ultimately, where is it safer to confess? Is it safer to confess in the locker room at school or in the living room at home? How do we respond, as parents, when we hear about So-and-so\u2019s daughter who did this or slipped up doing that? Then, is our daughter processing: \u201cOh, that\u2019s how they respond to that. That\u2019s something I can never bring up or confess\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The last time you were on <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>you made a statement that I\u2019ve repeated to lots of folks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou said: \u201cMany parents want to train their kids to be sin-avoiders and sin-concealers. Instead, we need to train our children to be sin-confessors and sin-repenters. We need to start by demonstrating to them what that looks like in our own lives.\u201d I think that\u2019s<em> so<\/em> important for parents to hear because I do think there are a lot of parents who are pressing their kids into: \u201cAvoid sin,\u201d and, \u201cIf you do it, you better hide it because you\u2019re going to get into a lot of trouble.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, they\u2019re not going to get any grace from their mom or dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, you\u2019ve heard me quote this passage before, here on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> This is not a passage that was written by a parent to a child, but it was written by the Apostle Paul to a group of followers of Christ that he wanted to compliment. It really tips us off to what Paul was trying to do as he built into their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cFor your obedience is known to all so that I rejoice over you.\u201d Then he kind of gives us an idea of what his heart was\u2014it\u2019s a little bit like a father or a mother\u2019s heart toward the child. He says, \u201cBut I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.\u201d He wanted them to stay out of the traps and to keep from stepping on the mines that are going to cost them\u2014that are going to create consequences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParents, I\u2019ll just tell you\u2014what Hayley and Michael are talking about here\u2014we need all the help we can get as we equip our kids in this culture because it\u2019s really not a matter of <em>if<\/em> they\u2019re going to come home and spill the beans or maybe we\u2019re going to find something out. It\u2019s a matter of <em>when<\/em>. It\u2019s a matter of how we\u2019re going to respond and point them back to Christ because it\u2019s God\u2019s forgiveness that, ultimately, is going to make a difference, long-haul, in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I love the verse you quoted because it reminds us that it\u2019s not just training them to be innocent about evil. We have to train them to be wise about what is good. We have to teach them the goodness of God, and that is the foundation for all of this. That\u2019s really where you take us in the book, <em>True Purity<\/em>, which we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me encourage our listeners to get a copy. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. In the upper left-hand corner of our website, you\u2019ll see a button that says, \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d If you click on that, there\u2019s information about Michael and Hayley DiMarco\u2019s book, <em>True Purity<\/em>: <em>More than Just Saying \u201cNo\u201d to You-Know-What <\/em>is the subtitle. You can order a copy when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that we have our <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> weekend getaway kit available as well. This is designed so that a mom or a dad can take a son or a daughter who is right there in the preadolescent stage of life\u201411\/12\/13 years old\u2014take your son or daughter away for a weekend\u2014do something special together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the drive there and back, listen to CDs as Dennis and Barbara Rainey talk about the issues your son or daughter are going to face during their adolescent years\u2014issues like peer pressure, relationships with the opposite sex, dating, and the issues of human sexuality\u2014the \u201cbirds and the bees\u201d talk. You may think, \u201cWell, I\u2019ve already had that conversation with my son or daughter\u201d; but it never hurts to reinforce something like that. Summertime\u2019s a great time to do it, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo go to FamilyLifeToday.com. In the upper left-hand corner of the page, where it says, \u201cGo Deeper,\u201d click the link. Find out more about <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> and about Michael and Hayley DiMarco\u2019s book, <em>True Purity.<\/em> You can order from us, online, if you\u2019d like or you can order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I was just thinking back to being up in Chicago a couple of weeks ago when you and I attended the Orphan Summit there and had a chance to see a lot of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners. It\u2019s always fun to get out and meet folks who are regular listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>I had a number of folks who came up to me and said: \u201cWe support you guys. We support the ministry. We pray for you.\u201d I had some folks come up and say, \u201cWe\u2019re Legacy Partners,\u201d\u2014monthly donors to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always appreciate the opportunity to be able to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d in person because we really are grateful for those listeners who partner with us and who share in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Your donations are what make this program possible. It keeps us on this local radio station and on our network of stations, all across the country. As we head into summer, we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have come along and said, \u201cWe\u2019d like to make sure you guys have a little bit of a surplus stored away so that when summer hits and donations drop off, as they often do, you\u2019ve got some reserves to draw on.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat these guys have agreed to do is to match every donation we receive, between now and Father\u2019s Day, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $410,000. We are trying to get the word out and make sure all of our listeners know about that. We\u2019re asking you if you\u2019d go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link in the upper right-hand corner that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make a $20, or $25, or $50, or $100 donation\u2014whatever you can do\u2014knowing your donation is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, during the month of May and all the way up to Father\u2019s Day. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Or you can mail a check to us. Our mailing address is P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And the zip code is 72223. However you get in touch with us, thanks for whatever you\u2019re able to do. I hope we run into you so that we can say, \u201cThank you,\u201d in person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about depression, bipolar disease, [and] sadness. How can you know whether the sadness you\u2019re feeling is something more serious than just normal sadness? Dr. Charles Hodges is going to join us, and we\u2019re going to talk about that. I hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. 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does it mean to teach purity to your children? Michael and Hayley DiMarco address this subject with a biblical foundation.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-05-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your kids are going to mess up and so are their friends. What happens at your house when somebody messes up? Here\u2019s Michael DiMarco.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Where is it safer to confess? Is it safer to confess in the locker room at school or in the living room at home? How do we respond, as parents, when we hear about So-and-so\u2019s daughter who did this or slipped up doing that? Then, is our daughter processing: \u201cOh, that\u2019s how they respond to that. That\u2019s something I can never bring up or confess.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If true purity is more than keeping a list of do\u2019s and don\u2019ts, what exactly is it? We\u2019re going to talk about that today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. This is something that you have felt strongly about for a little while; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Absolutely. I mean, we\u2019ve been challenging young people through <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>; through <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>; through the book I wrote about aggressive girls\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>Aggressive Girls<\/em>\u2014yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014<em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless <\/em>Boys\u2014trying to prepare them to handle what\u2019s going to come at them so that they stay pure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, the issue of sexual temptation in the teen years is something that parents have got to know how to address. Honestly, sometimes, it\u2019s not addressed as well as it could be, even in Christian homes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not. I\u2019m thrilled we have a couple of best-selling authors who are really in touch with the youth movement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael and Hayley DiMarco join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Welcome back, guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes, it\u2019s great to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019ve written a book called <em>True Purity: More than Just Saying \u201cNo\u201d to You-Know-What<\/em>. [Laughter] I love that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> That\u2019s right, and you didn\u2019t edit that. That\u2019s exactly what the subtitle is. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We should ask you, before we get into talking about this\u2014we had wanted to ask you about how, at your church, you helped lead the guys at your church through the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> men\u2019s 10-week series that FamilyLife put together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes, we did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell our listeners how that went over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> They hated it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, this broadcast is over! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Don\u2019t buy any of the DiMarcos\u2019 books, either. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Okay, so the crazy thing is\u2014as you know, our home church had a couple of vacancies. They needed to fill some holes. They asked me to serve, in an interim role, as a minister to young adults there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my first kind of executive ministerial mandates, if you will, was: \u201cWe\u2019re going to do a series, just for men, every Sunday night. We\u2019re going to use <em>Stepping Up<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a lot of guys\u2014I have to say a lot of guys, when it was leading up to the time of the launch\u2014they said: \u201cAhh, we\u2019ve kind of done this thing before,\u201d \u201cWell, is it going to be like this or be like that?\u201d I said: \u201cNope! It\u2019s going to be different.\u201d I hadn\u2019t seen it yet, but I just knew. [Laughter] I had previewed it, but we did\u2014Sunday morning, we pulled a big smoker out. We barbecued right at the front doors of the church before worship and put a sign up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know the way to get a man to come to the Bible study; don\u2019t you?! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Oh, it was great!\u2014like mesquite and wood chips and all that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> So, we had barbecue; but the first night\u2014that first 20- \/ 30-minute video that we watched\u2014guys were rapt! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey were just: \u201cWow! This is going to be <em>different<\/em>.\u201d It was really a band of brothers\u2014as far as the men that went through it. When they found out that we were coming over to see you, they just wanted me to convey their thanks for\u2014not just the content but the quality of how it was produced, really, with a man in mind. It was phenomenal!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, that was Bob\u2019s. He can say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Well, thank you, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And at this point, I should probably say: \u201cGo to FamilyLifeToday.com if you\u2019d like more information about <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, and the video series, and how your church could go through the material, or just how you could go through it with a group of guys. We think it is helpful material.\u201d It\u2019s great to hear how God used it in your church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, and we\u2019re calling men to step up toward purity as well. This book you\u2019ve written\u2014this is really for a younger audience. Actually, it\u2019s for the parents who are raising the younger audience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes, it is. We\u2019re kind of stealthy that way. We write books that get stocked on the youth and teen shelves; but we\u2019re really targeting the parents as well because, a lot of times\u2014especially in the subject of purity, you all know\u2014there can be some shameful tactics that are used out of fear and keeping young people from making mistakes with their bodies and their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mentioned that and, in fact, the genesis of this book was in a phone call you got. Tell our listeners about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Oh, yes. Well, it\u2019s confession time. In every book that Hayley and I write\u2014either together or separate\u2014we always have personal confessions. So, I might as well do one on national radio. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got a call. I don\u2019t know how this youth pastor got my cell phone number, but I answered this call. He said: \u201cHey, we\u2019d really like you to come out and do a purity weekend. Every year, we have a purity weekend at our church. We\u2019d like you to come and speak.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cOh! I\u2019d love to, but I\u2019m busy that weekend.\u201d There was this pause on the other end of the line. He said to me, \u201cI haven\u2019t told you the dates yet.\u201d [Laughter] I was busted! I said, \u201cWell, let me tell you about my impure answer.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said: \u201cWhat most churches want, I can\u2019t do because a lot of churches\u2014I\u2019ve seen them\u2014they will herd all of the students into a room\u2014sometimes scare \/ sometimes shame\u2014using scare tactics or just shaming those, unintentionally, those that have already gone too far in their physical lives\u2014and then have them sign or wear something that basically allows parents and pastors to sleep at night\u2014like:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u2018We\u2019ve checked that box. We\u2019ve covered that\u2014\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014\u201c\u2018we have inoculated them.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cI can\u2019t do that.\u201d He said: \u201cWell, okay. What <em>would<\/em> you do?\u201d What I said I would do was really the genesis for this book\u2014and that was to talk about purity from a holistic standpoint of: \u201cWe don\u2019t find our purity in our behaviors, but we find it in a Person\u2014and that is Jesus Christ. It\u2019s in our <em>identity<\/em> with Him that we get our purity and then that <em>informs<\/em> every decision that we make\u2014whether with our bodies, with our relationships, with our motivations for doing things\u2014it\u2019s that walking in the Spirit that is really where we find our purity.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Hayley, can you explain what Michael just said? \u201cWe find our purity in a Person.\u201d Help unpack what that\u2019s all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Well, I know for both of us\u2014for a long time in our lives, we looked at purity as something that we wanted. We understood it, and we did all that we could to try to protect it. For me, I wasn\u2019t going to have sex before marriage; I was going to be perfect. I was tough. I was doing all that I could to try and remain pure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael had a similar\u2014well, dissimilar but same focus\u2014trying to have this purity. So, this idea is normal\u2014that we think: \u201cI have to do this. I can\u2019t do this. I\u2019ll make a list of things.\u201d We attempt to do them in our own strength. What we\u2019re saying is purity isn\u2019t really a list of what you do or what you don\u2019t do. The Bible tells us that Christ is our purity. We were not\u2014we have this false idea that we are born pure and, at some point along the way, we mess up and we lose our purity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe truth of the matter is that we are not born pure. We\u2019re all born sinful. We gain our purity through accepting Christ as our Savior. He gives us our purity. For so many kids who think: \u201cI\u2019ve messed up. I\u2019ve just not been perfect.\u201d Well, yes! You\u2019re human: \u201cThere\u2019s no one righteous, not even one.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want people to understand where that purity truly comes from\u2014not from self\u2014but from Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s one thing, though, for a teenager to say, \u201cI messed up because I\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cgot mad at my little sister the other day.\u201d It\u2019s another thing to say, \u201cI messed up because I\u2019ve been having sex with my boyfriend.\u201d Those are different levels. Can we just simply say: \u201cWell, yes, you\u2019re human\u2014so, we\u2019re all going to do that kind of thing\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Oh, no. Yes, that\u2019s what it sounded like I said. Thank you for correcting me because, no, that\u2019s definitely <em>not<\/em> what we\u2019re saying. What we\u2019re trying to get the point across is that purity isn\u2019t about you. It\u2019s about Him. As long as we think that it\u2019s something that we can do, then, we\u2019re going to fail. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s my testimony\u2014that I failed. I said, \u201cI\u2019m not going to do this.\u201d And every month \/ or every week \/ every year\u2014just as my life moved on, I went farther. The line kind of moved. \u201cHow far is too far?\u201d became, \u201cUm, over here.\u201d I would move it farther and farther out because my humanity warred so much against me that I couldn\u2019t keep it up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if your entire purity is wrapped up in who He is. The question of \u201cHow far is too far?\u201d really doesn\u2019t come up because you want to know Him, and Him alone, and \u201cWhat does He want?\u201d Your life is centered on searching Him out and knowing Him more. As you\u2019re focused on that, those questions don\u2019t pop up. The line doesn\u2019t move because you\u2019re not even looking at the line. You\u2019re not trying to satisfy yourself, or please yourself, or even your parents. You just want to know <em>Him<\/em>\u2014you want to know Christ more. In <em>that<\/em>, you find your purity. You find that you aren\u2019t sleeping with your boyfriend because \u201cWhy would you do that?\u201d It\u2019s completely inconsistent with the life of Christ in you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s still the question that a teenager\u2019s going to have when they meet this girl. They go, \u201cI would like to kiss her.\u201d And then they think, \u201cIs that okay for me to kiss her?\u201d How does pursuing an understanding of purity in Christ help you answer the question of whether it\u2019s okay to kiss this girl or not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> And that\u2019s the great thing about things like <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>\u2014is it is parent-generated\u2014spiritual\u2014whether it is biological parent or spiritual parent\u2014it\u2019s parent-generated conversations about the motivations behind <em>why<\/em> you want what you want\u2014<em>why<\/em> you want to do what you want to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWhy do you want to kiss that girl?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> So the question is, \u201c<em>Why<\/em> do you want to kiss her?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> That\u2019s where we start; but if there\u2019s a parent listening and saying, \u201cWhere do I start with questioning my teenager beyond that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk: \u201cHow do you base your friendships? How do you choose who\u2019s a friend and who\u2019s not?\u201d because if you just go to that question, that\u2019s going to reveal a lot about what their orientation is as far as their motivations: \u201cIt\u2019s what I get out of the relationship\u2014it is how they make me <em>feel<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s the power of peer pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrankly, having raised six children all the way through the perilous peer pressure years, I\u2019m going to tell you that by the time Barbara and I finished that process\u2014it was <em>the<\/em> most challenging period in raising our children because you can give them good theology about who they are in Christ\u2014but I\u2019m going to tell you something\u2014the power of peers\u2014when you\u2019re not there at school, and they\u2019re rubbing shoulders with them, and they\u2019re out on Friday night\u2014hanging out with them, or going to a party \/ having fun. It\u2019s the real deal. Parents have got to stay in the game and be really engaged with their kids around these issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s why the answer can\u2019t be: \u201cHere\u2019s our list of do\u2019s and don\u2019ts: You can\u2019t go this far. You can kiss. You can\u2019t do that.\u201d A lot of people want to know\u2014they want these boundaries. We want boundaries so that we can feel free to run around within them and just feel free to kick our heels up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> \u2014and not feel guilty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> That\u2019s the reason that kids ask, \u201cHow far is too far?\u201d But if we make it about that, then they\u2019re always going to either push the boundaries or they are going to run around and have fun within those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a parent tries to do that, I think they make a mistake in that they don\u2019t get, as Michael\u2019s saying, to the <em>root<\/em> of the matter\u2014and that is: \u201cLet\u2019s move all that aside. Let\u2019s talk about your relationship with God because\u2014if you understand the depth of His love and <em>you<\/em> love Him, in kind\u2014then, your desires change\u2014not only your desires for the opposite sex but for the same. You think: \u2018Well, I have a friendship\u2014not so that I can be more popular, or so that I can go to parties, or so that I\u2019m not alone\u2014but so that they will magnify my voice for Christ.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> And then, they start to think about life differently. It isn\u2019t just something where you can just say, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to do this, this, and this\u201d; but rather it\u2019s a walking through your life with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I really think the question that you posed\u2014which is: \u201cWhy do you want to kiss? Why do you want to do whatever you want to do?\u201d really takes us right to the core\u2014right to the root\u2014of all of this. I\u2019m thinking back to when I was in high school. I was not primarily motivated in wanting to kiss a girl out of the fact that God would be glorified and she would be honored\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014by my doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Right; right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Had that thought ever occurred to you, in fact?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No, it was completely off the radar screen. \u201cWhy did I want to kiss her?\u201d\u2014because it was <em>all <\/em>about me! It was a whole selfish motivation. Now, let\u2019s forget, for a moment, whether it was right to kiss her or not. To be selfish wasn\u2019t right. It could be that we would say, \u201cWell, kissing\u2014that\u2019s no big deal.\u201d I would say, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s fine; but the motivation is where you get off the rails.\u201d When we get to that\u2014now, all of a sudden, we\u2019re unlocking a whole different puzzle than just, \u201cWhat\u2019s your sexuality going to look like?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> And the core of purity is 100 percent. There is nothing on this earth that is 100 percent pure. You buy a gold ring, and it\u2019s not 100 percent gold. There are always those trace elements. You buy a bottle of water that says\u2014and here\u2019s a little trick for you. Find any bottled water\u2014it will say \u201c<em>purified<\/em> water\u201d on there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt didn\u2019t start pure; and, even then, there\u2019s an asterisks that says, \u201cWell, it might have\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201ctrace elements.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cparts per million of whatever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur rule for purity is 100 percent. Scripture points\u2014Jesus Himself says that: \u201cThe greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God will <em>all <\/em>your heart\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014\u201c<em>all<\/em> your soul, <em>all <\/em>your mind<em>, all <\/em>your strength\u201d [Emphasis added]\u2014as it says in the Gospel of Mark\u2014so that\u2019s 100 percent. What Jesus was saying was <em>not<\/em> that: \u201cSo this is what you do, and you\u2019re able to do it.\u201d He was summarizing the Law. Because Jesus came to fulfill the Law\u2014fulfill the Law that we couldn\u2019t keep\u2014Jesus is saying: \u201cThis is impossible without Me\u2014through Me you become pure.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we look at purity as <em>that<\/em> definition, then there\u2019s no way that we can love God with our all\u2014with our selfish nature \/ with our sinful hearts\u2014but through Christ! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the big picture is this\u2014when we\u2019re talking about kids \/ when we\u2019re talking about parents. We have firemen, policemen, SWAT, Air Force, Coast Guard, Army, Marines\u2014I left someone out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The Navy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> The Navy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There we go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cAnchors away!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have all of these men and women that train for the worst-case scenario; but we encounter so many parents in our travels who never prepare for the worst-case scenario of: \u201cWhat my child is going to come home and confess,\u201d \u201cWhat I\u2019m going to find on my daughter\u2019s cell phone,\u201d \u201cWhat I\u2019m going to find on my son\u2019s computer.\u201d We <em>hope<\/em> that we never have to face the worst-case scenario, but parents are the first responders in the lives of their children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> So we\u2014Hayley and I\u2014even though our daughter\u2019s only seven, we drill for the worst-case scenario of what she could come home and confess when she\u2019s a teenager\u2014what she could come home during the holidays from her dorm room in college. We drill through how we\u2019re going to respond so that it becomes second nature. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> So, ultimately, where is it safer to confess? Is it safer to confess in the locker room at school or in the living room at home? How do we respond, as parents, when we hear about So-and-so\u2019s daughter who did this or slipped up doing that? Then, is our daughter processing: \u201cOh, that\u2019s how they respond to that. That\u2019s something I can never bring up or confess\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The last time you were on <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>you made a statement that I\u2019ve repeated to lots of folks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou said: \u201cMany parents want to train their kids to be sin-avoiders and sin-concealers. Instead, we need to train our children to be sin-confessors and sin-repenters. We need to start by demonstrating to them what that looks like in our own lives.\u201d I think that\u2019s<em> so<\/em> important for parents to hear because I do think there are a lot of parents who are pressing their kids into: \u201cAvoid sin,\u201d and, \u201cIf you do it, you better hide it because you\u2019re going to get into a lot of trouble.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, they\u2019re not going to get any grace from their mom or dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, you\u2019ve heard me quote this passage before, here on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> This is not a passage that was written by a parent to a child, but it was written by the Apostle Paul to a group of followers of Christ that he wanted to compliment. It really tips us off to what Paul was trying to do as he built into their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cFor your obedience is known to all so that I rejoice over you.\u201d Then he kind of gives us an idea of what his heart was\u2014it\u2019s a little bit like a father or a mother\u2019s heart toward the child. He says, \u201cBut I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.\u201d He wanted them to stay out of the traps and to keep from stepping on the mines that are going to cost them\u2014that are going to create consequences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParents, I\u2019ll just tell you\u2014what Hayley and Michael are talking about here\u2014we need all the help we can get as we equip our kids in this culture because it\u2019s really not a matter of <em>if<\/em> they\u2019re going to come home and spill the beans or maybe we\u2019re going to find something out. It\u2019s a matter of <em>when<\/em>. It\u2019s a matter of how we\u2019re going to respond and point them back to Christ because it\u2019s God\u2019s forgiveness that, ultimately, is going to make a difference, long-haul, in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I love the verse you quoted because it reminds us that it\u2019s not just training them to be innocent about evil. We have to train them to be wise about what is good. We have to teach them the goodness of God, and that is the foundation for all of this. That\u2019s really where you take us in the book, <em>True Purity<\/em>, which we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me encourage our listeners to get a copy. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. In the upper left-hand corner of our website, you\u2019ll see a button that says, \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d If you click on that, there\u2019s information about Michael and Hayley DiMarco\u2019s book, <em>True Purity<\/em>: <em>More than Just Saying \u201cNo\u201d to You-Know-What <\/em>is the subtitle. You can order a copy when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link that says, \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that we have our <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> weekend getaway kit available as well. This is designed so that a mom or a dad can take a son or a daughter who is right there in the preadolescent stage of life\u201411\/12\/13 years old\u2014take your son or daughter away for a weekend\u2014do something special together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the drive there and back, listen to CDs as Dennis and Barbara Rainey talk about the issues your son or daughter are going to face during their adolescent years\u2014issues like peer pressure, relationships with the opposite sex, dating, and the issues of human sexuality\u2014the \u201cbirds and the bees\u201d talk. You may think, \u201cWell, I\u2019ve already had that conversation with my son or daughter\u201d; but it never hurts to reinforce something like that. Summertime\u2019s a great time to do it, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo go to FamilyLifeToday.com. In the upper left-hand corner of the page, where it says, \u201cGo Deeper,\u201d click the link. Find out more about <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> and about Michael and Hayley DiMarco\u2019s book, <em>True Purity.<\/em> You can order from us, online, if you\u2019d like or you can order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I was just thinking back to being up in Chicago a couple of weeks ago when you and I attended the Orphan Summit there and had a chance to see a lot of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners. It\u2019s always fun to get out and meet folks who are regular listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>I had a number of folks who came up to me and said: \u201cWe support you guys. We support the ministry. We pray for you.\u201d I had some folks come up and say, \u201cWe\u2019re Legacy Partners,\u201d\u2014monthly donors to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always appreciate the opportunity to be able to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d in person because we really are grateful for those listeners who partner with us and who share in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Your donations are what make this program possible. It keeps us on this local radio station and on our network of stations, all across the country. As we head into summer, we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have come along and said, \u201cWe\u2019d like to make sure you guys have a little bit of a surplus stored away so that when summer hits and donations drop off, as they often do, you\u2019ve got some reserves to draw on.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat these guys have agreed to do is to match every donation we receive, between now and Father\u2019s Day, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $410,000. We are trying to get the word out and make sure all of our listeners know about that. We\u2019re asking you if you\u2019d go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link in the upper right-hand corner that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make a $20, or $25, or $50, or $100 donation\u2014whatever you can do\u2014knowing your donation is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, during the month of May and all the way up to Father\u2019s Day. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Or you can mail a check to us. Our mailing address is P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And the zip code is 72223. However you get in touch with us, thanks for whatever you\u2019re able to do. I hope we run into you so that we can say, \u201cThank you,\u201d in person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about depression, bipolar disease, [and] sadness. How can you know whether the sadness you\u2019re feeling is something more serious than just normal sadness? Dr. Charles Hodges is going to join us, and we\u2019re going to talk about that. I hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303061","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303061"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303061"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303061"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303061"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303061"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303061"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303061"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}