{"id":303031,"date":"2014-04-30T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-04-30T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/speaking-with-truth-and-love\/"},"modified":"2014-04-30T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-04-30T15:00:00","slug":"speaking-with-truth-and-love","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/speaking-with-truth-and-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Speaking with Truth and Love"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Words are like seeds. It&#8217;s best to be purposeful with the words that you sow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-04-30.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.72M","filesize_raw":"24871846","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2848,2821],"tags":[4527,5161,5340],"podcast_series":[8010],"cwp_profile":[3245],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303031","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultural-issues","category-reaching-out","tag-communication","tag-emotions","tag-taming-the-tongue","podcast_series-i-beg-to-differ","cwp_profile-tim-muehlhoff","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303031\/speaking-with-truth-and-love","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303031\/speaking-with-truth-and-love","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"YYY7yFLeND\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/speaking-with-truth-and-love\/\">Speaking with Truth and Love<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/speaking-with-truth-and-love\/embed\/#?secret=YYY7yFLeND\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Speaking with Truth and Love&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"YYY7yFLeND\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Words are like seeds. It's best to be purposeful with the words that you sow.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-04-30.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have there been harsh or unkind words spoken in your marriage recently?\u00a0 Tim Muehlhoff says: \u201cThat\u2019s not just a marriage issue. It\u2019s a spiritual issue.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>One thing we forget about words is what Jesus said about them\u2014that we\u2019re going to be held accountable for every word we have uttered. He particularly isolates the word, \u201ccareless\u201d\u2014careless words. Jesus is saying, \u201cNo, no; I\u2019m going to help hold you accountable to those words because it is showing Me what your heart is like.\u201d\u00a0 I think that is powerful for us to remember\u2014that the Judgment Seat\u2014we\u2019re going to have to give an account for all the words. Think about how many words that will be in an entire lifetime of a person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, April 30<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Ultimately, the way to tame our tongue is to get to the heart of the issue. We\u2019re going to talk about that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I remember a message I heard from you\u2014this had to be more than two decades ago. You had a message where you compared words with seeds. Do you know what I\u2019m talking about?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \u201cWhat you plant is what you grow. So, be careful what you sow.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You were really exhorting husbands and wives, at that point, to be very purposeful in how we communicate with one another\u2014what we say, what we don\u2019t say, how we say it\u2014all of that. Communication is important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is. It all came about, I really think, out of Proverbs, Chapter 18, verse 21: \u201cDeath and life are in the power of the tongue. And those who love it will eat its fruits.\u201d\u00a0 So, you really have to be careful of the words you sow\u2014in your spouse, your children, in your world\u2014because they are either going to grow life or they are going to result in death. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have a friend with us\u2014at least he was a friend until we had a meal together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014had lunch together. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Then, we came into the studio here; but we\u2019ve decided to go ahead\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We still like him; don\u2019t we?!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was a close vote!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 But you and I voted, and it was a close vote. Anyway, Tim Muehlhoff joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Dr. Muehlhoff, welcome to the broadcast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>It\u2019s great to be here. Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Tim has his PhD from Duke, and [Laughter] he is an associate\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wait, he went to a different school. It was the same state. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, it\u2019s UNC. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>North Carolina is where he is from; yes. That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But based upon the basketball season they just had, I heard he\u2019s trying to transfer his PhD to Duke. He did go to the University of North Carolina. He is the associate professor of Communications at Biola University in Southern California. He and Noreen have been on the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> speaker team\u2014how many years now?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>I think 18 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Eighteen years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They have three children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Tim has written a book called <em>I Beg to Differ<\/em>. It\u2019s subtitled <em>Navigating Difficult Conversations with Truth and Love<\/em>. Now, who hasn\u2019t had some difficult conversations because the nature of any relationship is: \u201cWe\u2019re going to have differences.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and you agree with Dennis that words are very powerful; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Oh, incredibly. That\u2019s my key verse of life\u2014is: \u201cLife and death is in the power of the tongue.\u201d\u00a0 I think all of us have relationships where we\u2019ve seen both happen, either intentionally or unintentionally. So, we need to figure out: \u201cHow can I purposefully make my conversations life-giving rather than uncivil and imparting death?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, give us an illustration from the author. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>I\u2019m sure all listeners, who have teenagers, know the difficulty of sitting down with a teenager. You\u2019re saying to yourself: \u201cDon\u2019t overreact. Be calm. You be the adult. Don\u2019t respond to what they are doing\u201d; and that lasts for all of\u2014what\u2014two seconds?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, pretty soon, you\u2019re yelling. You\u2019re saying, \u201c\u2026because I told you so\u201d; and you just realize you\u2019ve become your father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had neighbors\u2014when we were in North Carolina\u2014that we didn\u2019t get along with\u2014and horribly convicting\u2014because you know I have a PhD in communication; I\u2019m a follower of Christ. I have to go over to that house and apologize, like every other week, because I\u2019d said something; or we tried to talk about it, and I\u2019m the one who got angry. It kind of spiraled out of control, and emotions started to become very high. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, because you know what to do does not necessarily help you. That\u2019s why one key chapter in the book has to do with spiritual disciplines. You usually don\u2019t see a chapter on spiritual disciplines in a book about conflict resolution or communication. But I think that is absolutely foundational to us being able to do what we feel like the Holy Spirit is leading us today\u2014or what we know we should do\u2014but doing it in the moment is very difficult. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You believe we are becoming increasingly careless with our words; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Yes. I think technology is really fostering that. We talk, all the time, with tweets. You get my <em>instant<\/em> reaction to something. We are producing so many words. It\u2019s impossible to stop and reflect when you\u2019re always communicating and narrating. What we need to do is step back and say: \u201cBut those words do impart life and death and are hugely important when it comes to a person\u2019s self-esteem and how they see each other.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is a technique that we call \u201cfeed forward,\u201d which is anticipating the effect that your words are going to have on a person. The book of James gets at this a little bit\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>\u2014when you imagine that your word could be a spark that could take a dry, rural area and turn it into a wildfire that would consume everything in its path. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, it\u2019s interesting that you mentioned James. I was thinking of James, Chapter 4, as you were talking. He asks a great question\u2014he says, \u201cWhat causes quarrels, and what causes fights among you?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014whether it is with your teenager, with your spouse, your neighbor, or a co-worker. He goes on. He says, \u201cIs it not that your passions are at war within you?\u201d\u00a0 He is beginning to touch on here\u2014it really is a spiritual issue. You\u2019ve got to go to life in the Spirit. The Holy Spirit wants us to measure our words and use our words carefully. He doesn\u2019t want us to sow death in the life of another person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Yet, we do not live a kind of life that would allow us to be the type of communicator that God wants us to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt our marriage conferences, we quote Peter. Peter says, \u201cWhen cursed, I want you to give a blessing instead.\u201d\u00a0 And that word, \u201cblessing\u201d\u2014we get the English word, \u201ceulogize,\u201d which means to speak well of a person. Well, if I am to respond to my teenage son, or a co-worker, or a neighbor with a blessing\u2014precisely in that moment when they\u2019ve been mean to me or cursed me\u2014I will have to live the kind of life that allows me to do that in the moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>I think most of us, as Christians, we\u2019re not living the kind of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014lives that would allow us to do the things that the book of Proverbs would suggest\u2014or James. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think you make a great point because a lot of people will look at conflict in marriage and they\u2019ll say: \u201cWe\u2019re having this communication problem. We\u2019re not communicating well with one another.\u201d\u00a0 And part of what you are saying\u2014if I hear you right\u2014is: \u201cIf you have a communication problem, there is a heart problem behind it,\u201d and, \u201cUnless you deal with the heart problem, we can\u2019t do a whole lot about your words. Now, we can help you with your words, but really getting the heart right is the first step\u201d; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Right. It is back to what we were saying: \u201cI can <em>know<\/em> what to do, but I might not want to do it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Tim: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cor I\u2019m unable to do it because I just don\u2019t have that kind of spiritual or moral strength to actually do it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, one of the things you talk about in your book\u2014we get in a habit of just exploding our emotions, and we\u2019re careless with our words. I want us to back up a second and just talk about how words really can bring death. You tell a story that occurred in the Stanley Cup Playoffs a few years ago\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Oh my goodness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014that really was a showstopper for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt showed how words can really impact a person\u2019s performance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m from Detroit. I was born and raised in \u201cHockey Town\u201d\u2014Detroit, Michigan. So, we <em>hate<\/em> the New Jersey Devils\u2014particularly, a man named Claude Lemieux, who is a phenomenal hockey player. He actually won the MVP of the Stanley Cup. And he just loves being hated. He\u2019s the kind of guy you\u2019d love to have on your team; but when he\u2019s on the other team, you despise him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, they are in the Stanley Cup. He is going through a very bitter and public divorce. Matthew Barnaby decides to do some trash-talking to him\u2014and just skates up to him and starts to ridicule him about his public divorce. Kerry Fraser, who wrote a book\u2014he\u2019s one of the top officials of hockey\u2014Claude Lemieux skates up to him, with tears in his eyes, and pleads with Kerry Fraser, \u201cPlease make that man stop.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKerry Fraser later notes, \u201cClaude Lemieux could have had a broken leg,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cand he would have played in that game. Nothing would have kept him from winning the Stanley Cup; but here, somebody mentioning his divorce, literally reduced him to tears.\u201d\u00a0 Kerry Fraser said, \u201cI don\u2019t know if he could have continued in the game if he didn\u2019t go and actually talk to the referee and say: \u2018Look, you\u2019ve got to stop\u2014this is dirty. You need to stop\u2026\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Tim, we undervalue how powerful our words are. All of us do. We don\u2019t take full account of the fact that: \u201cWhen I say something, that can be devastating,\u201d\u2014not just in the moment\u2014but it can have a generational impact in a person\u2019s life. That\u2019s why words are so significant and why we need to be careful about this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>And as parents, especially. I have a good friend of mine who is a celebrated artist. He\u2019s won national awards but has always questioned his work. When I got to know him, he mentioned\u2014a long time ago\u2014that one of his family members, in a moment of anger, called him, \u201cDumb.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe never forgot it. So, here he wins all these awards. It is obvious people think his work is brilliant \/ artistic; but his self-esteem is governed by this one word, \u201cDumb.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd to think that\u2014I mean, I wonder what that family member would say\u2014saying: \u201cOh, come on! I just said it in a moment of anger. You\u2019ve been drawing on that for 20 \/ 30 years?\u201d\u00a0 So, our self-perception or the things that we think are true about ourselves. I might be talkative. I might be quiet. Self-esteem is the <em>value<\/em> you give to the perception. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a student, who doesn\u2019t really ever talk in class. Well, self-perception\u2014I think that student would say: \u201cYes, I don\u2019t really ever talk in class. That\u2019s just not what I do.\u201d\u00a0 Self-esteem would be: \u201cDoes he or she feel good about it?\u201d\u00a0 They might feel that they are actually dumb, and that\u2019s why they don\u2019t want to say anything. <br><br>All of us are governed by our self-esteem. If we take a look at communication research, our self-esteem is really cemented by the words that people say to us\u2014by what we call significant others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love what a friend of mine, who used to speak at our conferences, said, \u201cEventually, you get the spouse you deserve because you\u2019ve created that person over time.\u201d\u00a0 Think about that!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve been married to Noreen 24 years. I\u2019ve been the loud speaker in her life\u2014either positively or negatively\u2014I\u2019ve cultivated her self-esteem. So, at the end of the day, I have the spouse that I have created. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That goes back, really, to what was the thesis of your book, <em>Building Your Mate\u2019s Self-Esteem<\/em>. You were talking about how we have a power in one another\u2019s lives for good or for ill. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We do. And you can either get busy building, or you can use words to tear down and destroy another person. Unfortunately, marriage\u2014because of the close proximity of two imperfect people\u2014it really lends itself to a gravitational pull to become negative and to chip away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI compared the tongue\u2014in the book, <em>Building Your Mate\u2019s Self-Esteem<\/em>\u2014I compared it to an ice pick or a paint brush. Your tongue can be an\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014ice pick that chips away at your spouse\u2019s net value, and net worth, and who they really are; or it can be used as a paint brush to paint in the numbers and fill in a beautiful picture. <br><br>I reflect back on four decades of marriage\u2014and what\u2019s the saying?\u2014\u201cI have often regretted my speech, never my silence.\u201d\u00a0 And I\u2019ve\u2014as I\u2019ve gotten older, one of the things I\u2019ve tried to practice is just saying nothing. Just because you think it, it doesn\u2019t need to be said. In fact, try to find a way to build up your spouse\u2014and encourage him or her\u2014and find a way to paint in the picture so that it\u2019s beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that\u2019s where words can be equally powerful. We talk about the destructive power of words\u2014but I\u2019ve shared this story on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014I don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve ever shared it with you, Tim. When I was a college freshman, I got a job at the campus radio station. I\u2019d been on the air for maybe three or four weeks. I walked into the station one day. The station manager,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014who was a faculty member at the college, said, \u201cWhere did you work before you worked here?\u201d\u00a0 I said: \u201cThis is my first job in radio. I\u2019ve never done anything.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWell, you\u2019re doing a good job.\u201d\u00a0 Well, I can show you, outside his office, where we had that conversation. I remember it <em>vividly<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what am I doing today; right?\u00a0 Here I am\u2014on the radio. I don\u2019t know if he played a part in that, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes, he did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know how\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know he did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014yes; I don\u2019t know how great a part he played, but it was a part. Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Yes. One thing we forget about words is what Jesus said about them. We are going to be held accountable for every word we have uttered. Now, why would Jesus make such a big deal about words? Because that is how you can tell what a person\u2019s heart is like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had an interesting experience at Biola. They started taping classrooms to put online. I\u2019ll never forget the first day when I started and saw the red light on, above the camera. I suddenly realized,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cEverything I\u2019m saying is going to be recorded, downloaded, and will be up on the internet in the next couple days.\u201d\u00a0 It <em>radically<\/em> changed what I said\u2014even jokes that I would just kind of throw off to the side. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do think Jesus is saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to hold you accountable for each one of those words.\u201d\u00a0 He particularly isolates the word, \u201ccareless\u201d\u2014careless words. And by careless, I think He means words that we thought had no significance\u2014so, I just take that word\u2014I say it. I don\u2019t even need to think about that because I\u2019m just throwing it out there\u2014talk about tweeting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut Jesus is saying, \u201cNo, no, no; I\u2019m going to hold you accountable to those words because it is showing Me what your heart is like.\u201d\u00a0 I think that\u2019s powerful for us to remember\u2014that the Judgment Seat\u2014we\u2019re going to have to give an account for all the words. Think about how many words that will be in the entire lifetime of a person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s interesting to me too\u2014you paid attention to the red light on the camera\u2014but there were 30, 40, or 50 recording devices sitting in your classroom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014because everything you were saying was being imprinted on them. But for some reason, when we are just talking, person to person\u2014and we think, \u201cThis is \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tcasual \/ this is comfortable,\u201d we lose sight of the fact that we are making a mark on the lives of the people we\u2019re talking to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We do. And one of the things you do\u2014Tim\u2014that I really like\u2014you kind of boiled down a communication climate into four components that foster good communication. I loved the first one which is: \u201cAcknowledgment of the person.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>We make the mistake of equating acknowledgment with condoning. The mere fact that I acknowledge you doesn\u2019t mean that I condone your argument. It doesn\u2019t even mean that I agree with your argument. It simply means I think your argument is worth listening to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Social critic, William James, once thought, \u201cThe worst punishment I could conceive of was a person walking through a crowd and not being acknowledged.\u201d\u00a0 So, if I acknowledge the viewpoint of my co-worker\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it doesn\u2019t mean that I agree with his or her perspective. If I acknowledge the weight of my son\u2019s\u2014my teenage son\u2019s\u2014argument, it doesn\u2019t mean that I\u2019m condoning what they believe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn one of my classes\u2014this may be a little controversial\u2014I had them read the Quran, cover to cover, because, if we are to be good Christian communicators and take seriously Jesus\u2019 admonition that we are to go into all parts of the world with the gospel, then, we probably need to understand what one out of every five people in the world subscribes to\u2014Islam. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, when I gave the assignment, I got a reaction from both parents and students, saying, \u201cI don\u2019t want to read the Quran.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, have you ever read the Quran?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, why wouldn\u2019t you want to read it?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, I disagree with it.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cBut you\u2019ve never read it!\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo, I don\u2019t need to read it to disagree with it.\u201d\u00a0 I said: \u201cI\u2019m not asking you to agree with the Quran. I, first, want you to just simply understand what the Quran is saying. Then, you can evaluate it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSee, there are two forms of listening. We get these confused\u2014the order of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is listening to understand and listening to evaluate. We always should start with simply to listen to understand what a person has to say and ask questions. I don\u2019t need to jump in and disagree as I\u2019m listening to understand where you\u2019re coming from. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t want to build your case, at that point\u2014just affirm the person for what they think and what they are feeling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>And in a perfect situation, I wouldn\u2019t even build the case, mentally. We call that defensive listening\u2014as I\u2019m listening to you, I\u2019m mentally playing chess with you\u2014moving your arguments to a certain position. Finally, I can trump you\u2014and check mate\u2014the debate is over. So, even though a person may not, technically, be listening to evaluate\u2014mentally, they really are: \u201cI\u2019m listening to you\u2014looking for arguments that I could poke holes into.\u201d It really takes a gifted communicator to sincerely listen, initially. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the part we are going to get to later\u2014the four-part communication model that I advocate in the book\u2014the first step is simply, \u201cListening.\u201d\u00a0 As Scott Peck once said, \u201cThe number one way to love a person, simply, listen to them\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to affirm them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCBS News did this great bit. It was really a niche market, where they had one correspondent. This is when they had telephone booths. He would go to a city\u2014go into a telephone booth, take the phone book, and simply just randomly point to a name. Then, call that person and say: \u201cHey, I\u2019m with CBS News. I\u2019ve actually got a camera crew. Can we come over and interview you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPeople were like: \u201cYou don\u2019t want to interview me. You must have me mistaken.\u201d\u00a0 He said: \u201cNo, no; no. Is your name So-and-so?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI want to come to your house and interview you.\u201d\u00a0 If they agreed, he\u2019d show up with a camera crew, sit down, and interview that person. It was so esteeming for that person\u2014to say, \u201cYou really care about my story, really?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s one of the most life-giving things we can do for another person\u2014is to say, \u201cI want to hear your story.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Harvard Negotiation Project says, \u201cThe biggest mistake we make with people is we just trade conclusions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do not trade or share: \u2018How I arrived at that conclusion.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s incredibly important\u2014that I get the backstory of your convictions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Another component that you talk about that creates a good communication climate is really one of those kind of \u201cDuhs\u201d; but it really is good to talk about it. It\u2019s commitment. You have a quote by Julia Wood, who is a relationship expert. I really liked this quote. She says, \u201cThe hallmark of commitment is the assumption of a future.\u201d\u00a0 So, if you think about conflict in a relationship, there is a whole lot more safety when there is the assumption of a future together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim: <\/strong>Well, in marriage, it\u2019s undeniable\u2014to say, \u201cI am committed to you regardless of where this is going to take us\u2014this particular disagreement. I want you to know that I love you, respect you, and I\u2019m committed to you.\u201d\u00a0 To your teenage son or daughter: \u201cI want you to know my love isn\u2019t up for question in this conversation. We may disagree with each other,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but I want you to know that I love you and I\u2019m committed to you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we need to do that with non-Christian neighbors, as well, to say: \u201cHey, listen. I\u2019m committed to our friendship. I don\u2019t think this disagreement is going to stop the friendship, on my end.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, quickly, in today\u2019s culture war atmosphere, we get this attitude of: \u201cIf you don\u2019t agree with me, I\u2019m taking my toys and leaving. I will end this relationship over this particular issue because it\u2019s that important to me.\u201d\u00a0 To reaffirm commitment to a person is to give them the freedom to work out our disagreements, and it\u2019s not going to end that relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That does mean, however, that you have to fill in the blanks after you make that statement. You have to behave in a way that doesn\u2019t withdraw from the relationship\u2014doesn\u2019t punish the other person when they don\u2019t come over to your side and immediately agree with you. Especially in marriage, you\u2019ve got to make sure, as we mentioned earlier, when there is an insult that comes your way, you give a blessing instead. You keep on loving, and you keep on hanging in there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s what, I think\u2014I think that\u2019s why the Bible is such a relevant book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt talks about real people who hurt one another and gives them a game plan for how to have a hopeful future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and you have been through the Scriptures to see what they say to us about how we are to navigate difficult conversations and to do it with truth and love. That\u2019s what\u2019s at the heart of your book, <em>I Beg to Differ<\/em>, which we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there are, probably, a number of husbands and wives who find themselves in the same place when they try to communicate with one another. They are just getting hung up as they try to express themselves and listen to one another. This book could be very helpful for them. We\u2019ve got copies of it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Let me encourage our listeners, \u201cGo to FamilyLifeToday.com\u201d\u2014which by the way, just got a very nice new facelift. If you haven\u2019t been to the website, you ought to see it. The team has done a nice job fixing up our website. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the upper left-hand corner of the site, you\u2019ll see a box that says, \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d\u00a0 When you click on that box, it\u2019ll take you to where you can get information about Tim Muehlhoff\u2019s book, <em>I Beg to Differ: Navigating Difficult Conversations with Truth and Love<\/em>. You can order from us, online, if you\u2019d like, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know our goal, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, is to provide practical, biblical help for your marriage and for your family, day-in and day-out. We believe your marriage and your family relationships are so critical that we need to be thinking biblically about how we navigate these relationships every day. That\u2019s why <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I know many of you share that conviction. That\u2019s why you tune in to listen each day. We especially appreciate those of you,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014who help make these daily radio programs possible through your financial support\u2014either by giving a one-time donation or, as a Legacy Partner, giving a monthly contribution to support this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, if you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, in the upper right-hand corner of the page, where you see a button that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d click there and make an online donation. And we will send you, as a thank-you gift, a set of three prayer cards all designed to help you pray more effectively in your marriage\u2014a card for a husband to pray for his wife, and one for a wife to pray for her husband, and then, a prayer card you can use together to pray for your children. That\u2019s our gift to you when you help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and click the \u201cI Care\u201d button to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make your donation over the phone, and be sure to ask for the prayer cards when you do that. Or you can write a check and mail it to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Again, request the prayer cards when you get in touch with us. Our mailing address is:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue to talk with Tim Muehlhoff about what we do in marriage when our communication is going sideways: \u201cHow do we do a better job of expressing ourselves to one another and listening to one another?\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about it tomorrow. Hope you can tune in. <br><br>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303031","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303031"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303031"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303031"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303031"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}