{"id":303027,"date":"2014-04-25T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-04-25T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/asking-the-right-questions\/"},"modified":"2014-04-25T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-04-25T15:00:00","slug":"asking-the-right-questions","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/asking-the-right-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"Asking the Right Questions"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bill and Pam Farrel encourage men and women to know what they might be getting into by asking their significant other the right questions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-04-25.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.29M","filesize_raw":"25469290","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817,2807],"tags":[4086,4955],"podcast_series":[8007],"cwp_profile":[3230],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303027","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","category-engagements-and-weddings","tag-commitment","tag-preparing-for-marriage","podcast_series-before-you-marry-questions","cwp_profile-bill-and-pam-farrel","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303027\/asking-the-right-questions","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303027\/asking-the-right-questions","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"3FmbN63fmO\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/asking-the-right-questions\/\">Asking the Right Questions<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/asking-the-right-questions\/embed\/#?secret=3FmbN63fmO\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Asking the Right Questions&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"3FmbN63fmO\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-04-25.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-04-25.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are a lot of ways in which marriage is countercultural. Bill Farrel says marriage is also supernatural.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>What I find in our society is\u2014we are so focused on \u201cme.\u201d In a funny way: \u201cDid you hear about the narcissist who said, \u2018That\u2019s enough about me. Let\u2019s talk about you. So, what do <em>you<\/em> think about me?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>So much of that goes on; and yet, we know that marriage is really a selfless pursuit. Jesus said: \u201cIf you want to be great in the Kingdom of God, you need to be the servant of all.\u201d Well that\u2019s a fun message preach\u2014when you actually live it out and you actually are serving another person\u2014it requires you to be selfless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, April 25<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. The time to cultivate the right perspective on marriage is not after you\u2019ve said, \u201cI do\u201d; it\u2019s before. We\u2019re going to talk about the importance of premarital preparation today. Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re talking this week about the importance of premarital preparation. Our host is somebody who was engaged 56 days before he got married. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Just thought we ought to blow those credits! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just trying to explain to our listeners\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hey! I just did a crash course! [Laughter] Think of all the training we have to get before we\u2019re trusted to drive a car. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How much training do you have to get to get married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>All you have to do is have a heartbeat!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And have some blood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wasn\u2019t it about seven or eight weeks from the time you said, \u201cWill you?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Six weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014until the time you said, \u201cI do\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. And it took me about 20 years to get out of the doghouse with Barbara\u2019s mom. She loves me now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She has come around?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She has come around. We have a couple joining us today. Bill and Pam Farrel, welcome back to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Thank you. We were 13 weeks\u2014so you have us beat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, so you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>We believe in short engagements. We believe in longer dating\u2014and really, a whole calendar year\u2014getting to know somebody, and their family, and everything about their life\u2014but once you feel called, then, \u201cLet\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cGo for it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>--\u201cgo for it!\u201d Yes\u2014just go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bill and Pam are prolific writers. They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti. <\/em>Okay, now, just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No, no, no. We can\u2019t unpack all of that right here. If you can\u2019t figure that out on your own\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>It is our best-seller, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Do men waffle? Are you saying that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>The short version is\u2014men think in little boxes\u2014one thing in each box \/ one thing at a time. We just separate it all out\u2014do one thing at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Compartmentalize.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And the women?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Our minds are wired like spaghetti\u2014we integrate everything. So, it looks like one noodle laying on a plate of spaghetti. If you follow that noodle around that plate, it touches <em>every other<\/em> noodle on the plate. That\u2019s the way our life is wired.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, I get it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Because guys get food.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Another book\u2014and I\u2019m not going to go all the way through these: <em>Red Hot Monogamy, The Marriage Code, The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, The 10 Best Decisions Every Parent Can Make<\/em>\u2014and that\u2019s not all they\u2019ve written, by the way. But their most recent is <em>The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to ask both of you to do something that\u2019s not fair.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here you have a book that is really very, very practical\u2014very helpful for an engaged couple\u2014that\u2019s almost 230 pages long.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Actually, even just dating\u2014the earlier the better\u2014you can get that book in their hand\u2014it\u2019s going to help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s a good idea. I want you both to pick one of the questions in here that you would want to make sure a couple dealt with before they tied the knot. Who wants to go first?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>I\u2019ll go first because I believe this <em>so much<\/em>; that is, \u201cHow far am I willing to go in my sexual relationship before a commitment?\u201d We live in a world with lots and lots of broken hearts, and people cohabiting\u2014it\u2019s on the increase. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 1960, it was about 400,000 people. Now, it\u2019s like seven-something million. The hard part is\u2014I just see a wake of broken hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe average couple that cohabitates\u201448 percent of the women have experienced some kind of violence. The ones that make it to marriage\u2014which isn\u2019t very many\u2014because three out of four that are cohabiting rate their relationship as \u201con the rocks\u201d\u2014in serious trouble. So, most people who live together don\u2019t even make it to the altar. And then the ones who make it to the altar are twice as likely to divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo my heartbeat is: \u201cMake some good choices,\u201d\u2014 like: \u201cTalk about it. Don\u2019t just let your emotions, and your testosterone, and your hormones drive you into a decision that may have long-term consequences.\u201d We wrote a book called <em>Red Hot Monogamy.<\/em> The book is all about intimacy behind bedroom doors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe big question is: \u201cDo you want a red-hot monogamy for a lifetime?\u201d Then, make good choices now; and make choices to protect your hearts now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>I appreciate Pam bringing that up because most people I meet don\u2019t respect the <em>power<\/em> of the sexual side of our lives. Most people treat it like it\u2019s just an expendable commodity\u2014that it is not that important: \u201cIt doesn\u2019t really matter. So, engage in it all you want.\u201d When, in reality, it\u2019s one of the most powerful forces for drawing a couple together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe picture that\u2019s always in my mind\u2014I had opportunity to go over to Germany. I was sitting at a table, just like this, with a family that we were staying with. I noticed, when we went into the house, that there was a MINI Cooper sitting in the driveway. I said to the dad: \u201cHey, I noticed there\u2019s a MINI Cooper in the driveway. We\u2019re not far from the Autobahn; when are we going out?\u201d His 18-year-old son said, \u201cI\u2019ll take you out after dinner.\u201d As we were walking out the door, he said something to his son I\u2019ve never said to any of my sons. He said, \u201cSon, no going over 130 miles an hour.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>So we got out on the Autobahn. We\u2019re trailing along at 130, and we were passed by two Porsches that acted like we were standing still.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>And ten minutes later, we passed one of those Porsches again that was in a big fiery heap on the side of the road. And it hit me\u2014the driver didn\u2019t respect the power of what he was driving. That\u2019s what too many people do with the sexual side of their lives. They don\u2019t respect the power, and so they use it up rather than learning how it operates best.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Yes, like in the Bible\u2014a lot of times people will say, \u201cWhat\u2019s the best decision that we can make?\u201d And then [they] read a little section, that\u2019s not even a paragraph, that simply says, \u201cThis is God\u2019s will, your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality,\u201d and then the paragraph goes on\u2014<em>why<\/em> God would say something like that\u2014to protect you. They\u2019re like, \u201cIsn\u2019t there something else?\u201d But that\u2019s the <em>core <\/em>of who we are. So, you really want to protect the <em>core<\/em> of who we are. When you protect, then you get the kind of relationship that you want. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor example, our oldest\u2014we always did relationship contracts with our kids when they grew up. In their youth group, we had them; and with Student Venture, we used them. Our whole community became familiar with making some choices and writing it down: \u201cHow far should we go before we say \u2018I do\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen Brock and Hannah started dating, it was kind of a unique situation because Brock had just gotten a scholarship to Liberty University to be a quarterback. I did a book signing in Phoenix, Arizona\u2014and I was sharing some stories out of <em>The 10 Best Decisions Every Parent Can Make<\/em> book that had to do with Brock and the choices that he made to stand alone for his faith. The bookstore owner said, \u201cWhere did you say Brock was in college?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cLiberty.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cMy Hannah\u2019s at Liberty!\u201d We exchanged pictures and phone numbers of the kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got this phone call from Brock, a little while later, and said, \u201cHey, Mom, do you remember Hannah?\u201d I said, \u201cYes, did you ever introduce yourself?\u201d He said, \u201cYes, we\u2019ve been dating.\u201d I said, \u201cReally?\u2014how long?\u201d He said, \u201cSix weeks.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell me?!\u201d He said, \u201cBecause I knew you would say, \u2018See, you should listen to your mother!\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Matchmaker, matchmaker.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. The kids dated for about 18 months, and then they took a week apart to pray and ask to see if they were God\u2019s will for each other. At the end of that week\u2014unbeknownst to Hannah \/ she went back to Virginia\u2014Brock had a ring designed in Los Angeles and flown to the football office. Then he stopped to ask for her hand in marriage in Phoenix\u2014where her parents owned that Christian book store. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he went back to Liberty and was sitting in a football meeting. The secretary called and said, \u201cThe Eagle has landed!\u201d He picked up the ring, picked up Hannah, and took her to the place where they had first met on campus\u2014handed her a nail. Then he took her to the place that they had\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wait, wait, wait\u2014handed her a nail?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>It\u2019s a guy-thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>And he took her to the place that they had said good night on the park bench every night outside the dorms, and handed her another nail. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he took her to the chapel at Liberty, where they prayed together, and handed her a piece of board. Then he took her off campus where she shared a home with her friends, and handed her the other piece of board. Then he took those nails and those boards and he hammered them together into the form of a cross. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe hammered the cross into the ground, and he got down on one knee. He said: \u201cHannah, I want our relationship to start and stay at the foot of the cross. Hannah, I <em>love<\/em> you. Hannah, will you marry me? Hannah, will you kiss me for the first time?\u201d To which, Hannah replied, \u201cYes; yes!\u201d There is just something precious\u2014Bill got to do the wedding ceremony\u2014and to hear the daughter-in-law, that you have prayed for since before she was even born, hold your son\u2019s hand and say in her personal vows: \u201cBrock, you\u2019re such a man of integrity. You can be my Knight of the Year every night of the year.\u201d One of the awards he had won was called Knight of the Year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019ve been married almost nine years. For an anniversary present\u2014she put\u2014for their 84-month anniversary, she wrote down 84 reasons she\u2019s glad she married Brock Farrel. They were taped all over the house when we walked in. That\u2019s why you make those choices\u2014so you can have a <em>long-lasting<\/em> happy love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There are those who are listening to that story and they can\u2019t identify with that at all because they\u2019ve lived\u2014they\u2019ve gone a different route\u2014they may be cohabiting. What I\u2019d say is: \u201cWhether you\u2019re cohabiting and thinking about getting married or just cohabiting and marriage is not on the radar, I would invite you to come to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em><em>.<\/em>\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>That\u2019s right; that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cCome and join us for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and go through the conference. Hear about the blueprints for how you turn a relationship into a marriage\u2014into a covenant-keeping relationship for a lifetime\u2014without being scolded or beat up.\u201d They\u2019re going to be encouraged, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to turn to you, Bill, and ask you what your question is that you\u2019d want to ask a couple and interact with them about before they got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>My question would be\u2014I\u2019d look them both in the eyes and say, \u201cAre you willing to share common struggles with the person you\u2019re thinking about getting married to?\u201d We are all used to carrying our own personal struggles. As men, we struggle with issues of our ego and a strong desire to be successful, and we\u2019re always wresting with lust. I would say to the woman, who\u2019s getting ready to marry this young man, \u201cAre you willing to make those struggles <em>your<\/em> struggles so he can be open about these and he can talk honestly with you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd to the men, I would say: \u201cYou\u2019re getting ready to marry a young lady who is going to have issues with PMS. She\u2019s going to have a different emotional approach to life than you are; and she\u2019s going to feel emotionally deeper than you, probably. Are you willing to make those <em>your<\/em> struggles?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAnd both of you probably have triggers from the past. There are probably some experiences you\u2019ve been through that were unpleasant. Depending upon the kind of family you grew up in, you may have minor issues or you may have major issues. Are you willing to make the struggles of the other person <em>your<\/em> struggles?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>That\u2019s really important when you think about how much hurt and pain there is in the world\u2014how much imperfection there is in the world. When you come from homes of origin that are imperfect, there is going to be hurt and pain. Are you <em>willing<\/em> to walk that person through their pain on to healing and victory? A lot of people have been abused. If that person has been molested or raped, there are going to be issues. Are you willing to <em>walk through<\/em> and help that person? Are you willing to handle even the idiosyncrasies?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had only one premarital counseling session. That is one of the reasons we wanted to write <em>The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions<\/em> because we think there might have been a few other questions that should have been covered. The one question that was asked was, \u201cOkay, what\u2019s one thing about him that irritates you?\u201d I am like: \u201cOh, I can\u2019t think of anything. He\u2019s so wonderful!\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like idealistic. He\u2019s like, \u201cThere has to be something.\u201d I said: \u201cWell, actually, he\u2019s like usually 10 or 15 minutes late everywhere he goes because he loves people. He doesn\u2019t look at his watch.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe pastor wisely said, \u201cSo, if he never changes, are you willing to live with that?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cYes, I can live with that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then Bill was asked the same thing, \u201cWhat\u2019s something about her that irritates you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>The thing that occurred to me, at that time: \u201cShe\u2019s so spontaneous that it\u2019s hard to figure out what she\u2019s going to do next. So it\u2019s hard to plan around her.\u201d He asked me the same question: \u201cIf that never changes, are you okay with that?\u201d It\u2019s easy, at that point, to go, \u201cOh, of course.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Reading between the lines\u2014because she\u2019s spontaneous and you\u2019re late\u2014you\u2019re going to be really late. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Fortunately, personal growth is possible!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>What I find in our society is\u2014we\u2019re so focused on \u201cme.\u201d In a funny way: \u201cDid you hear about the narcissist who said, \u2018That\u2019s enough about me. Let\u2019s talk about you. So, what do <em>you<\/em> think about me?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>So much of that goes on; and yet, we know marriage is really a selfless pursuit\u2014when Jesus said, \u201cIf you want to be great in the Kingdom of God, you need to be the servant of all.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, that\u2019s a fun message to preach\u2014when you actually live it out and you actually are serving another person\u2014it actually is difficult on you because it\u2019s service to another person. You really are carrying someone else\u2019s burdens. It requires you to be selfless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason I chose that question is\u2014if I look at our marriage together\u2014the times in our marriage when I\u2019ve been <em>really<\/em> satisfied being married to Pam are times when I\u2019ve said, \u201cI\u2019m willing to let her struggles be my struggles, and I\u2019m in this with her.\u201d The times when I\u2019ve not enjoyed our relationship is when I\u2019ve expected her to be different, and I\u2019ve expected her to be better at those struggles and to have more victory in her life in those areas than what she was currently experiencing. I can trace my own happiness, if you will, in marriage, back to <em>my<\/em> answer to that question. When the answer\u2019s been, \u201cYes,\u201d it\u2019s been good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What you\u2019re talking about is anchored in the Scripture. In 1 Corinthians 13:7 it says, \u201cLove bears all things.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s a load-bearing bridge between two people. I think it\u2019s really good\u2014what you just said\u2014about it\u2019s okay that she\u2019s different. It\u2019s sad that there are struggles and that there is baggage from the past, but you\u2019re not going to reject the person because of the baggage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>That\u2019s good; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You say: \u201cYour baggage is my baggage, and I\u2019m carrying it. I\u2019m going to help you carry it for the rest of our lives.\u201d You wish you could promise couples, who are starting out, that that baggage would go away after a few years, and love would just conquer all, and that everything would be okay. I think there are some bags you end up carrying for a lifetime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>All I can say to that is\u2014I\u2019ve watched my boys play sports their whole life. The people that they\u2019re closest to in life are the ones they\u2019ve struggled with the most. So, the ones that they\u2019ve conquered obstacles with\u2014the ones they were together when they overcame difficulties, whether it was in practice or in a game setting\u2014they consider them their best friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe people they went Christmas shopping with\u2014they don\u2019t talk about much. I think marriage is the same way. The people that you struggle with and the people that you overcome with tend to be your most valuable relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So the couple that\u2019s listening right now, and probably not listening, as a couple\u2014he\u2019s in his car \/ she\u2019s in her car\u2014but they\u2019re thinking, \u201cThis might be the one.\u201d Maybe they\u2019re engaged; and they\u2019re reconsidering that question, \u201cHow can I be sure this is the one?\u201d Is there a way that somebody, ahead of time, can know: \u201cThis is the person for me\u201d? How do you get that determination?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>I\u2019m not sure you can get the kind of finality you\u2019re asking\u2014like: \u201cAbsolutely, definitely, this is the one,\u201d\u2014but there is a way to have high confidence because there are really two lists everybody ought to be working with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a subjective list because all of us are attracted to: a certain type of body type, a certain type of personality, a certain type of cultural leanings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>And we ought to be attracted to those things. So, the subjective list\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some compatibility on that stuff; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Chemistry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> And then there\u2019s an objective list: \u201cDoes this person have a commitment to building character in their life\u2014that 5, 10, 15 years from now, when life has gotten bigger\u2014that this person can keep up with the demands of life? Is this person committed to learning how to communicate with somebody they don\u2019t necessarily understand? Is this person committed to walking with Jesus, in the reality of their life, so Jesus can speak into their heart and give them direction along the way?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>\u201cIs this person healthy in the way that they manage conflict?\u201d\u2014like, Bill and I wrote out a conflict covenant\u2014even when we were dating. In it\u2014it had things like: \u201cWhen we are angry, we\u2019re not going to use words\u2014like swear at each other. We\u2019re not going to use domestic violence. I promise I\u2019m not going to run over you with the car! We\u2019re going to hold hands, when we\u2019re in conflict, so I don\u2019t throw things!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow are they managing conflict?\u201d because the couples that make it are the couples that choose a healthy way to manage their conflicts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m glad you mentioned that because there are a lot of couples who underestimate that the home they came from and how they solved conflict\u2014swept under the rug \/ not dealt with\u2014like they\u2019re going to move into a marriage relationship and know how to do it. That\u2019s not going to happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrankly, we spend really a couple of hours, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>,equipping couples, practically, in terms of how to admit you\u2019ve hurt someone, how to ask for forgiveness, how to grant forgiveness, how to ultimately reconcile and begin to rebuild trust. As human beings, we\u2019re going to betray each other in this most intimate of relationships. But that would be one of the most important questions I\u2019d want to ask. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>What you just described\u2014we can <em>guarantee<\/em> is going to happen. People are asking, \u201cCan you make any guarantees in life?\u201d Well, we can guarantee you are going to be in conflict with the person you marry because you both have vibrant lives, you both have convictions, you both have opinions\u2014they are going to collide.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you\u2019re both sinners. Let\u2019s throw that in, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>So, imperfect.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>And I tell people, all the time: \u201cPerfection is not a great goal because, if you did become perfect, we would crucify you. So, it\u2019s not really the goal of life. Growth and intimacy are the goals.\u201d Of course, you\u2019re going to face conflict. The good news is conflict resolution is a skill\u2014so it can be learned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It can be learned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>It can be learned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ultimately, marriage is a covenant between three\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014a man, a woman, and their God. It\u2019s a spiritual decision\u2014is what Bob was talking about here\u2014but it doesn\u2019t stop there. I think a good marriage demands good preparation. What you guys have done, in putting together this book of questions that really peels the onion and gets to some pretty gritty stuff, I think can do wonders for a couple as they date\u2014as they\u2019re contemplating the question: \u201cIs he the right one? \/ Is she the right one?\u201d And begin to grapple with these questions, in advance, and learn to see if you can laugh with one another,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>--forgive one another, and love one another for a lifetime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBill and Pam, I appreciate you guys being on the broadcast. Thanks for the work on this book. It\u2019s going to help a lot of folks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Hey, thanks for the premarital that you gave us\u2014it\u2019s working 34 years, now. I appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think Bill owes me on that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>At least a dinner; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>--on that marriage preparation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But the cool thing is\u2014now, you guys have turned around and you\u2019re helping other young couples with the book that you\u2019ve written called <em>The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions.<\/em> You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out how you can order a copy of the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions<\/em>. You can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is also the last opportunity I have to mention to you the special offer that\u2019s being made this week on <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> small group material, which is another way you can help young couples or couples your age. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get the kit for <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> small group material. It has the DVDs in it \/ it has workbooks in it. FamilyLife, this week, has a special offer where\u2014if you will get the kit, with the DVDs and the workbooks, we\u2019ll spring for two sets of workbooks for the couples who will be joining your group; alright?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s say there are going to be a minimum of five couples joining you. You cover the cost for the DVDs and the workbooks for three of the couples\u2014yourself and two others. We\u2019ll cover the cost of the workbooks for two other couples; okay? All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner that says, \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d You\u2019ll find the information there about <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage <\/em>small group kit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is something you could do over the summer. It\u2019s a great get-together. You get together six times with a group of friends and go through this material together. Maybe you have a small group from church that wants to use this material, or maybe you just want to gather together a group of four or five young couples and take them through this material and help coach them\u2014help mentor them on what marriage is all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe DVDs make it simple. The workbook is pretty self-explanatory. You don\u2019t have to be a genius to make this thing work; and you don\u2019t have to have a perfect marriage, either. All you have to do is have a desire to help others\u2014and maybe get a little help for yourself\u2014and you can go through this material. The reason I mention it is because the special offer ends this week. So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click in the upper left-hand corner, where it says, \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d The information about <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>small group special offer is available there, along with Bill and Pam Farrel\u2019s\u2019 book, <em>The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions. <\/em>You can also call if you have any questions: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we wrap things up this week, a special shout out to those of you who are faithful friends of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> We appreciate you listening regularly and very much appreciate those of you who have been able to help with financial support for this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are listener-supported. Your financial support makes these daily radio programs possible. It covers the cost of producing and syndicating this program on radio stations, via the worldwide web, through our mobile apps, through all of the ways that folks are connecting with <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> We couldn\u2019t do it without friends, like you, who donate from time to time. If you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a set of three prayer cards designed to help you pray more effectively for one another, as husband and wife, and pray together more effectively for your kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can ask for the prayer cards when you make your donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button in the upper right-hand corner that says \u201cI Care,\u201d and make your online donation. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can make a donation over the phone. Or you can mail a donation and request the prayer cards when you write to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Our Post Office Box is 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas\u2014Arkansas is AR; and the zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family can worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk to a mom who has learned how to find God in the middle of the ordinary moments of everyday life. You\u2019ll meet Gloria Furman on Monday. Hope you can tune in for our conversation together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.29M"],"filesize_raw":["25469290"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303027.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303027.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Pam Farrel encourage men and women to know what they might be getting into by asking their significant other the right questions.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-04-25.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are a lot of ways in which marriage is countercultural. Bill Farrel says marriage is also supernatural.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>What I find in our society is\u2014we are so focused on \u201cme.\u201d In a funny way: \u201cDid you hear about the narcissist who said, \u2018That\u2019s enough about me. Let\u2019s talk about you. So, what do <em>you<\/em> think about me?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>So much of that goes on; and yet, we know that marriage is really a selfless pursuit. Jesus said: \u201cIf you want to be great in the Kingdom of God, you need to be the servant of all.\u201d Well that\u2019s a fun message preach\u2014when you actually live it out and you actually are serving another person\u2014it requires you to be selfless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, April 25<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. The time to cultivate the right perspective on marriage is not after you\u2019ve said, \u201cI do\u201d; it\u2019s before. We\u2019re going to talk about the importance of premarital preparation today. Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re talking this week about the importance of premarital preparation. Our host is somebody who was engaged 56 days before he got married. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Just thought we ought to blow those credits! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just trying to explain to our listeners\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hey! I just did a crash course! [Laughter] Think of all the training we have to get before we\u2019re trusted to drive a car. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How much training do you have to get to get married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>All you have to do is have a heartbeat!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And have some blood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wasn\u2019t it about seven or eight weeks from the time you said, \u201cWill you?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Six weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014until the time you said, \u201cI do\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. And it took me about 20 years to get out of the doghouse with Barbara\u2019s mom. She loves me now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She has come around?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She has come around. We have a couple joining us today. Bill and Pam Farrel, welcome back to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Thank you. We were 13 weeks\u2014so you have us beat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, so you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>We believe in short engagements. We believe in longer dating\u2014and really, a whole calendar year\u2014getting to know somebody, and their family, and everything about their life\u2014but once you feel called, then, \u201cLet\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cGo for it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>--\u201cgo for it!\u201d Yes\u2014just go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bill and Pam are prolific writers. They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti. <\/em>Okay, now, just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No, no, no. We can\u2019t unpack all of that right here. If you can\u2019t figure that out on your own\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>It is our best-seller, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Do men waffle? Are you saying that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>The short version is\u2014men think in little boxes\u2014one thing in each box \/ one thing at a time. We just separate it all out\u2014do one thing at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Compartmentalize.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And the women?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Our minds are wired like spaghetti\u2014we integrate everything. So, it looks like one noodle laying on a plate of spaghetti. If you follow that noodle around that plate, it touches <em>every other<\/em> noodle on the plate. That\u2019s the way our life is wired.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, I get it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Because guys get food.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Another book\u2014and I\u2019m not going to go all the way through these: <em>Red Hot Monogamy, The Marriage Code, The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, The 10 Best Decisions Every Parent Can Make<\/em>\u2014and that\u2019s not all they\u2019ve written, by the way. But their most recent is <em>The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to ask both of you to do something that\u2019s not fair.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here you have a book that is really very, very practical\u2014very helpful for an engaged couple\u2014that\u2019s almost 230 pages long.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Actually, even just dating\u2014the earlier the better\u2014you can get that book in their hand\u2014it\u2019s going to help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s a good idea. I want you both to pick one of the questions in here that you would want to make sure a couple dealt with before they tied the knot. Who wants to go first?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>I\u2019ll go first because I believe this <em>so much<\/em>; that is, \u201cHow far am I willing to go in my sexual relationship before a commitment?\u201d We live in a world with lots and lots of broken hearts, and people cohabiting\u2014it\u2019s on the increase. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 1960, it was about 400,000 people. Now, it\u2019s like seven-something million. The hard part is\u2014I just see a wake of broken hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe average couple that cohabitates\u201448 percent of the women have experienced some kind of violence. The ones that make it to marriage\u2014which isn\u2019t very many\u2014because three out of four that are cohabiting rate their relationship as \u201con the rocks\u201d\u2014in serious trouble. So, most people who live together don\u2019t even make it to the altar. And then the ones who make it to the altar are twice as likely to divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo my heartbeat is: \u201cMake some good choices,\u201d\u2014 like: \u201cTalk about it. Don\u2019t just let your emotions, and your testosterone, and your hormones drive you into a decision that may have long-term consequences.\u201d We wrote a book called <em>Red Hot Monogamy.<\/em> The book is all about intimacy behind bedroom doors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe big question is: \u201cDo you want a red-hot monogamy for a lifetime?\u201d Then, make good choices now; and make choices to protect your hearts now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>I appreciate Pam bringing that up because most people I meet don\u2019t respect the <em>power<\/em> of the sexual side of our lives. Most people treat it like it\u2019s just an expendable commodity\u2014that it is not that important: \u201cIt doesn\u2019t really matter. So, engage in it all you want.\u201d When, in reality, it\u2019s one of the most powerful forces for drawing a couple together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe picture that\u2019s always in my mind\u2014I had opportunity to go over to Germany. I was sitting at a table, just like this, with a family that we were staying with. I noticed, when we went into the house, that there was a MINI Cooper sitting in the driveway. I said to the dad: \u201cHey, I noticed there\u2019s a MINI Cooper in the driveway. We\u2019re not far from the Autobahn; when are we going out?\u201d His 18-year-old son said, \u201cI\u2019ll take you out after dinner.\u201d As we were walking out the door, he said something to his son I\u2019ve never said to any of my sons. He said, \u201cSon, no going over 130 miles an hour.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>So we got out on the Autobahn. We\u2019re trailing along at 130, and we were passed by two Porsches that acted like we were standing still.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>And ten minutes later, we passed one of those Porsches again that was in a big fiery heap on the side of the road. And it hit me\u2014the driver didn\u2019t respect the power of what he was driving. That\u2019s what too many people do with the sexual side of their lives. They don\u2019t respect the power, and so they use it up rather than learning how it operates best.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Yes, like in the Bible\u2014a lot of times people will say, \u201cWhat\u2019s the best decision that we can make?\u201d And then [they] read a little section, that\u2019s not even a paragraph, that simply says, \u201cThis is God\u2019s will, your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality,\u201d and then the paragraph goes on\u2014<em>why<\/em> God would say something like that\u2014to protect you. They\u2019re like, \u201cIsn\u2019t there something else?\u201d But that\u2019s the <em>core <\/em>of who we are. So, you really want to protect the <em>core<\/em> of who we are. When you protect, then you get the kind of relationship that you want. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor example, our oldest\u2014we always did relationship contracts with our kids when they grew up. In their youth group, we had them; and with Student Venture, we used them. Our whole community became familiar with making some choices and writing it down: \u201cHow far should we go before we say \u2018I do\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen Brock and Hannah started dating, it was kind of a unique situation because Brock had just gotten a scholarship to Liberty University to be a quarterback. I did a book signing in Phoenix, Arizona\u2014and I was sharing some stories out of <em>The 10 Best Decisions Every Parent Can Make<\/em> book that had to do with Brock and the choices that he made to stand alone for his faith. The bookstore owner said, \u201cWhere did you say Brock was in college?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cLiberty.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cMy Hannah\u2019s at Liberty!\u201d We exchanged pictures and phone numbers of the kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got this phone call from Brock, a little while later, and said, \u201cHey, Mom, do you remember Hannah?\u201d I said, \u201cYes, did you ever introduce yourself?\u201d He said, \u201cYes, we\u2019ve been dating.\u201d I said, \u201cReally?\u2014how long?\u201d He said, \u201cSix weeks.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell me?!\u201d He said, \u201cBecause I knew you would say, \u2018See, you should listen to your mother!\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Matchmaker, matchmaker.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. The kids dated for about 18 months, and then they took a week apart to pray and ask to see if they were God\u2019s will for each other. At the end of that week\u2014unbeknownst to Hannah \/ she went back to Virginia\u2014Brock had a ring designed in Los Angeles and flown to the football office. Then he stopped to ask for her hand in marriage in Phoenix\u2014where her parents owned that Christian book store. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he went back to Liberty and was sitting in a football meeting. The secretary called and said, \u201cThe Eagle has landed!\u201d He picked up the ring, picked up Hannah, and took her to the place where they had first met on campus\u2014handed her a nail. Then he took her to the place that they had\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wait, wait, wait\u2014handed her a nail?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>It\u2019s a guy-thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>And he took her to the place that they had said good night on the park bench every night outside the dorms, and handed her another nail. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he took her to the chapel at Liberty, where they prayed together, and handed her a piece of board. Then he took her off campus where she shared a home with her friends, and handed her the other piece of board. Then he took those nails and those boards and he hammered them together into the form of a cross. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe hammered the cross into the ground, and he got down on one knee. He said: \u201cHannah, I want our relationship to start and stay at the foot of the cross. Hannah, I <em>love<\/em> you. Hannah, will you marry me? Hannah, will you kiss me for the first time?\u201d To which, Hannah replied, \u201cYes; yes!\u201d There is just something precious\u2014Bill got to do the wedding ceremony\u2014and to hear the daughter-in-law, that you have prayed for since before she was even born, hold your son\u2019s hand and say in her personal vows: \u201cBrock, you\u2019re such a man of integrity. You can be my Knight of the Year every night of the year.\u201d One of the awards he had won was called Knight of the Year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019ve been married almost nine years. For an anniversary present\u2014she put\u2014for their 84-month anniversary, she wrote down 84 reasons she\u2019s glad she married Brock Farrel. They were taped all over the house when we walked in. That\u2019s why you make those choices\u2014so you can have a <em>long-lasting<\/em> happy love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There are those who are listening to that story and they can\u2019t identify with that at all because they\u2019ve lived\u2014they\u2019ve gone a different route\u2014they may be cohabiting. What I\u2019d say is: \u201cWhether you\u2019re cohabiting and thinking about getting married or just cohabiting and marriage is not on the radar, I would invite you to come to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em><em>.<\/em>\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>That\u2019s right; that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cCome and join us for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and go through the conference. Hear about the blueprints for how you turn a relationship into a marriage\u2014into a covenant-keeping relationship for a lifetime\u2014without being scolded or beat up.\u201d They\u2019re going to be encouraged, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to turn to you, Bill, and ask you what your question is that you\u2019d want to ask a couple and interact with them about before they got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>My question would be\u2014I\u2019d look them both in the eyes and say, \u201cAre you willing to share common struggles with the person you\u2019re thinking about getting married to?\u201d We are all used to carrying our own personal struggles. As men, we struggle with issues of our ego and a strong desire to be successful, and we\u2019re always wresting with lust. I would say to the woman, who\u2019s getting ready to marry this young man, \u201cAre you willing to make those struggles <em>your<\/em> struggles so he can be open about these and he can talk honestly with you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd to the men, I would say: \u201cYou\u2019re getting ready to marry a young lady who is going to have issues with PMS. She\u2019s going to have a different emotional approach to life than you are; and she\u2019s going to feel emotionally deeper than you, probably. Are you willing to make those <em>your<\/em> struggles?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAnd both of you probably have triggers from the past. There are probably some experiences you\u2019ve been through that were unpleasant. Depending upon the kind of family you grew up in, you may have minor issues or you may have major issues. Are you willing to make the struggles of the other person <em>your<\/em> struggles?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>That\u2019s really important when you think about how much hurt and pain there is in the world\u2014how much imperfection there is in the world. When you come from homes of origin that are imperfect, there is going to be hurt and pain. Are you <em>willing<\/em> to walk that person through their pain on to healing and victory? A lot of people have been abused. If that person has been molested or raped, there are going to be issues. Are you willing to <em>walk through<\/em> and help that person? Are you willing to handle even the idiosyncrasies?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had only one premarital counseling session. That is one of the reasons we wanted to write <em>The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions<\/em> because we think there might have been a few other questions that should have been covered. The one question that was asked was, \u201cOkay, what\u2019s one thing about him that irritates you?\u201d I am like: \u201cOh, I can\u2019t think of anything. He\u2019s so wonderful!\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like idealistic. He\u2019s like, \u201cThere has to be something.\u201d I said: \u201cWell, actually, he\u2019s like usually 10 or 15 minutes late everywhere he goes because he loves people. He doesn\u2019t look at his watch.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe pastor wisely said, \u201cSo, if he never changes, are you willing to live with that?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cYes, I can live with that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then Bill was asked the same thing, \u201cWhat\u2019s something about her that irritates you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>The thing that occurred to me, at that time: \u201cShe\u2019s so spontaneous that it\u2019s hard to figure out what she\u2019s going to do next. So it\u2019s hard to plan around her.\u201d He asked me the same question: \u201cIf that never changes, are you okay with that?\u201d It\u2019s easy, at that point, to go, \u201cOh, of course.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Reading between the lines\u2014because she\u2019s spontaneous and you\u2019re late\u2014you\u2019re going to be really late. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Fortunately, personal growth is possible!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>What I find in our society is\u2014we\u2019re so focused on \u201cme.\u201d In a funny way: \u201cDid you hear about the narcissist who said, \u2018That\u2019s enough about me. Let\u2019s talk about you. So, what do <em>you<\/em> think about me?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>So much of that goes on; and yet, we know marriage is really a selfless pursuit\u2014when Jesus said, \u201cIf you want to be great in the Kingdom of God, you need to be the servant of all.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, that\u2019s a fun message to preach\u2014when you actually live it out and you actually are serving another person\u2014it actually is difficult on you because it\u2019s service to another person. You really are carrying someone else\u2019s burdens. It requires you to be selfless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason I chose that question is\u2014if I look at our marriage together\u2014the times in our marriage when I\u2019ve been <em>really<\/em> satisfied being married to Pam are times when I\u2019ve said, \u201cI\u2019m willing to let her struggles be my struggles, and I\u2019m in this with her.\u201d The times when I\u2019ve not enjoyed our relationship is when I\u2019ve expected her to be different, and I\u2019ve expected her to be better at those struggles and to have more victory in her life in those areas than what she was currently experiencing. I can trace my own happiness, if you will, in marriage, back to <em>my<\/em> answer to that question. When the answer\u2019s been, \u201cYes,\u201d it\u2019s been good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What you\u2019re talking about is anchored in the Scripture. In 1 Corinthians 13:7 it says, \u201cLove bears all things.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s a load-bearing bridge between two people. I think it\u2019s really good\u2014what you just said\u2014about it\u2019s okay that she\u2019s different. It\u2019s sad that there are struggles and that there is baggage from the past, but you\u2019re not going to reject the person because of the baggage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>That\u2019s good; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You say: \u201cYour baggage is my baggage, and I\u2019m carrying it. I\u2019m going to help you carry it for the rest of our lives.\u201d You wish you could promise couples, who are starting out, that that baggage would go away after a few years, and love would just conquer all, and that everything would be okay. I think there are some bags you end up carrying for a lifetime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>All I can say to that is\u2014I\u2019ve watched my boys play sports their whole life. The people that they\u2019re closest to in life are the ones they\u2019ve struggled with the most. So, the ones that they\u2019ve conquered obstacles with\u2014the ones they were together when they overcame difficulties, whether it was in practice or in a game setting\u2014they consider them their best friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe people they went Christmas shopping with\u2014they don\u2019t talk about much. I think marriage is the same way. The people that you struggle with and the people that you overcome with tend to be your most valuable relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So the couple that\u2019s listening right now, and probably not listening, as a couple\u2014he\u2019s in his car \/ she\u2019s in her car\u2014but they\u2019re thinking, \u201cThis might be the one.\u201d Maybe they\u2019re engaged; and they\u2019re reconsidering that question, \u201cHow can I be sure this is the one?\u201d Is there a way that somebody, ahead of time, can know: \u201cThis is the person for me\u201d? How do you get that determination?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>I\u2019m not sure you can get the kind of finality you\u2019re asking\u2014like: \u201cAbsolutely, definitely, this is the one,\u201d\u2014but there is a way to have high confidence because there are really two lists everybody ought to be working with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a subjective list because all of us are attracted to: a certain type of body type, a certain type of personality, a certain type of cultural leanings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>And we ought to be attracted to those things. So, the subjective list\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some compatibility on that stuff; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Chemistry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> And then there\u2019s an objective list: \u201cDoes this person have a commitment to building character in their life\u2014that 5, 10, 15 years from now, when life has gotten bigger\u2014that this person can keep up with the demands of life? Is this person committed to learning how to communicate with somebody they don\u2019t necessarily understand? Is this person committed to walking with Jesus, in the reality of their life, so Jesus can speak into their heart and give them direction along the way?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>\u201cIs this person healthy in the way that they manage conflict?\u201d\u2014like, Bill and I wrote out a conflict covenant\u2014even when we were dating. In it\u2014it had things like: \u201cWhen we are angry, we\u2019re not going to use words\u2014like swear at each other. We\u2019re not going to use domestic violence. I promise I\u2019m not going to run over you with the car! We\u2019re going to hold hands, when we\u2019re in conflict, so I don\u2019t throw things!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow are they managing conflict?\u201d because the couples that make it are the couples that choose a healthy way to manage their conflicts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m glad you mentioned that because there are a lot of couples who underestimate that the home they came from and how they solved conflict\u2014swept under the rug \/ not dealt with\u2014like they\u2019re going to move into a marriage relationship and know how to do it. That\u2019s not going to happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrankly, we spend really a couple of hours, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>,equipping couples, practically, in terms of how to admit you\u2019ve hurt someone, how to ask for forgiveness, how to grant forgiveness, how to ultimately reconcile and begin to rebuild trust. As human beings, we\u2019re going to betray each other in this most intimate of relationships. But that would be one of the most important questions I\u2019d want to ask. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>What you just described\u2014we can <em>guarantee<\/em> is going to happen. People are asking, \u201cCan you make any guarantees in life?\u201d Well, we can guarantee you are going to be in conflict with the person you marry because you both have vibrant lives, you both have convictions, you both have opinions\u2014they are going to collide.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you\u2019re both sinners. Let\u2019s throw that in, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>So, imperfect.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>And I tell people, all the time: \u201cPerfection is not a great goal because, if you did become perfect, we would crucify you. So, it\u2019s not really the goal of life. Growth and intimacy are the goals.\u201d Of course, you\u2019re going to face conflict. The good news is conflict resolution is a skill\u2014so it can be learned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It can be learned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>It can be learned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ultimately, marriage is a covenant between three\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014a man, a woman, and their God. It\u2019s a spiritual decision\u2014is what Bob was talking about here\u2014but it doesn\u2019t stop there. I think a good marriage demands good preparation. What you guys have done, in putting together this book of questions that really peels the onion and gets to some pretty gritty stuff, I think can do wonders for a couple as they date\u2014as they\u2019re contemplating the question: \u201cIs he the right one? \/ Is she the right one?\u201d And begin to grapple with these questions, in advance, and learn to see if you can laugh with one another,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>--forgive one another, and love one another for a lifetime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBill and Pam, I appreciate you guys being on the broadcast. Thanks for the work on this book. It\u2019s going to help a lot of folks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>Hey, thanks for the premarital that you gave us\u2014it\u2019s working 34 years, now. I appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think Bill owes me on that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Pam: <\/strong>At least a dinner; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>--on that marriage preparation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But the cool thing is\u2014now, you guys have turned around and you\u2019re helping other young couples with the book that you\u2019ve written called <em>The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions.<\/em> You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out how you can order a copy of the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions<\/em>. You can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is also the last opportunity I have to mention to you the special offer that\u2019s being made this week on <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> small group material, which is another way you can help young couples or couples your age. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get the kit for <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> small group material. It has the DVDs in it \/ it has workbooks in it. FamilyLife, this week, has a special offer where\u2014if you will get the kit, with the DVDs and the workbooks, we\u2019ll spring for two sets of workbooks for the couples who will be joining your group; alright?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s say there are going to be a minimum of five couples joining you. You cover the cost for the DVDs and the workbooks for three of the couples\u2014yourself and two others. We\u2019ll cover the cost of the workbooks for two other couples; okay? All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner that says, \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d You\u2019ll find the information there about <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage <\/em>small group kit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is something you could do over the summer. It\u2019s a great get-together. You get together six times with a group of friends and go through this material together. Maybe you have a small group from church that wants to use this material, or maybe you just want to gather together a group of four or five young couples and take them through this material and help coach them\u2014help mentor them on what marriage is all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe DVDs make it simple. The workbook is pretty self-explanatory. You don\u2019t have to be a genius to make this thing work; and you don\u2019t have to have a perfect marriage, either. All you have to do is have a desire to help others\u2014and maybe get a little help for yourself\u2014and you can go through this material. The reason I mention it is because the special offer ends this week. So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click in the upper left-hand corner, where it says, \u201cGo Deeper.\u201d The information about <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>small group special offer is available there, along with Bill and Pam Farrel\u2019s\u2019 book, <em>The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions. <\/em>You can also call if you have any questions: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we wrap things up this week, a special shout out to those of you who are faithful friends of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> We appreciate you listening regularly and very much appreciate those of you who have been able to help with financial support for this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are listener-supported. Your financial support makes these daily radio programs possible. It covers the cost of producing and syndicating this program on radio stations, via the worldwide web, through our mobile apps, through all of the ways that folks are connecting with <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> We couldn\u2019t do it without friends, like you, who donate from time to time. If you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a set of three prayer cards designed to help you pray more effectively for one another, as husband and wife, and pray together more effectively for your kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can ask for the prayer cards when you make your donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button in the upper right-hand corner that says \u201cI Care,\u201d and make your online donation. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can make a donation over the phone. Or you can mail a donation and request the prayer cards when you write to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Our Post Office Box is 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas\u2014Arkansas is AR; and the zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family can worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk to a mom who has learned how to find God in the middle of the ordinary moments of everyday life. You\u2019ll meet Gloria Furman on Monday. Hope you can tune in for our conversation together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303027","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303027"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303027"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303027"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303027"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303027"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303027"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303027"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}