{"id":302975,"date":"2014-03-17T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-03-17T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/keeping-the-plates-spinning\/"},"modified":"2014-03-17T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-03-17T15:00:00","slug":"keeping-the-plates-spinning","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/keeping-the-plates-spinning\/","title":{"rendered":"Keeping the Plates Spinning"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You&#8217;ve loved them, you&#8217;ve hated them, and sometimes you didn&#8217;t understand them at all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-17.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.09M","filesize_raw":"24211529","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2825],"tags":[4813],"podcast_series":[8001],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302975","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-honoring-your-parents","tag-honoring-parents","podcast_series-putting-your-parents-in-proper-perspective","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302975\/keeping-the-plates-spinning","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302975\/keeping-the-plates-spinning","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"91mHVp4Vw7\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/keeping-the-plates-spinning\/\">Keeping the Plates Spinning<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/keeping-the-plates-spinning\/embed\/#?secret=91mHVp4Vw7\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Keeping the Plates Spinning&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"91mHVp4Vw7\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, March 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. The Fifth Commandment does not come with an expiration date.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk about honoring your parents today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. You know, I have to say, \u201cIf I were going to make a list of your life messages, this\u201d\u2014I\u2019m trying to think\u2014\u201ctop ten\u2014this would be top five.\u201d Don\u2019t you think? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This message\u2014on the importance of honoring your parents\u2014I remember the first time I heard it because I had just\u2014you and I had just sat down for the first time to talk about <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. This was in the summer of 1992. You gave me eight cassette tapes of you and Barbara doing the Building Your Mate\u2019s Self-Esteem conference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And this message was one of the eight messages on those cassette tapes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014about honoring your parents\u2014that is exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I remember listening to it. I thought, \u201cThat\u2019d make a good radio program.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter] And in fact, the first week we were on the air\u2014this was one of the messages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know\u2014you are right. I had forgotten about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The first\u2014it was Wednesday and Thursday, the first week in November of 1992\u2014this message was featured on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. But actually, the message goes back\u2014maybe, a decade before <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, actually, Bob, it could go back two decades\u2014to the early 1970s\u2014when I worked with high school students, all of the country. Even then, this message was germinating as I talked to young people\/ teenagers about why they should honor their mother and father. It would get really, really quiet in there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd even then, I felt like I was tapping into something\u2014in this fifth commandment of the Ten Commandments\u2014that wasn\u2019t being talked about then\u2014and certainly, still isn\u2019t being talked about, now, some four decades later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, back in 1994, you wrote a book called <em>The Tribute\u2014<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twhere you challenged all of us to honor our parents. Now, it\u2019s the 20<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary of the launch of that book. I\u2019ve heard you say that you\u2019ve gotten more feedback from this book than maybe any other book you\u2019ve ever written. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have a file\u2014maybe more than a foot tall\u2014of letters and tributes\u2014copies of tributes that people have sent in and stories of how they have taken the time\u2014at an anniversary, at a birthday, at Christmas, or for no good reason just other than just to honor their parents\u2014have written a tribute. Many of them have put it in a frame and had a ceremony where they read it to their parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s fascinating. I was with a young lady, not too long ago. She had just found out her dad had been diagnosed with a disease that was going to take his life in a matter of weeks. I put this book in her hand\u2014I pressed it in there, and I said, \u201cNo regrets. No regrets.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said: \u201cI\u2019m taking this back, and my brother and I are going to write tributes. We\u2019re going to read them to him while he is alive.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it may mean, as I talk about in the book\u2014it may mean you have to deal with some stuff in order to get to the subject of honor; but I think that\u2019s what God had in mind when he came up with this fifth commandment, out of the Ten Commandments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The book on honoring your parents has now been revised and updated. The 20<sup>th<\/sup> Anniversary Edition of the book is being released this week. It\u2019s now called <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em> because, in fact, this is one of those overlooked commandments among the Ten. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is. And I think it needs to be dusted off today because we\u2019ve been bashing and blaming our parents and been victims of our parents\u2019 poor choices and mistakes. And by the way, they do make mistakes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of things parents have done that they should ask forgiveness for, but this commandment doesn\u2019t have any conditions. The fifth commandment just says, \u201cHonor your mother and your father that your days may be long in the land that the Lord Your God gives you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, let\u2019s listen to how you tackled this subject\u2014back more than two decades ago\u2014as you challenged an audience of married couples to fulfill the fifth commandment and to honor their father and their mother. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Perhaps, some of you have seen me share an illustration about a man. He used to come on the <em>Ed Sullivan<\/em> program a number of years ago. It was a man who would bring out some plates. I can remember, as a young lad in southwest Missouri, seeing this guy come out with a large stack of plates and a table that would be almost as long as the stage. After Ed Sullivan had introduced him, he would, then, take one of those plates and a stick that was underneath it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand he would begin to spin that plate and spin that stick. Do you remember? He\u2019d get that plate spinning and get it going. Then he would move to a second plate. He would get it spinning and going with that stick. He\u2019d spin it\u2014and had two, and three, and four, and five. Finally, he would have about six or seven plates going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can still recall, as a young lad, screaming and yelling at this guy because of what was happening to the first plate. Do you remember what it was doing, at that point? It was beginning to wobble. It was as though he could hear me screaming\u2014all the way from southern Missouri to that New York or Madison Avenue studio\u2014because he would turn around and run back and grab that stick and spin it and it get off. He\u2019d go with eight, nine, ten, eleven, and twelve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy then, plate number two was wobbling. The rest of the\u2014really, the act was this guy going back and forth, spinning these plates\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014as many as 15 to 20 plates on this table\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\trunning back and forth. At just the moment you knew this guy couldn\u2019t keep them all spinning, he\u2019d start at one end of that table\u2014and he gathered them all up\u2014just like he was going to the cupboard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I think that act is a lot like what takes place in marriage. We meet someone we love. We decide we\u2019ll become one, and we get married. So, we get over here; and we start spinning this little plate called marriage. We start playing house. It\u2019s fun to spin this plate, and there aren\u2019t any distractions\u2014there\u2019s just Barbara and me. We\u2019re enjoying spinning this plate. It gets all the attention, and it\u2019s humming along and moving out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, some things begin to change. There\u2019s an increase in job responsibility. Then, there is perhaps a move involved. Then, there are new friends and responsibilities at church\u2014all begin to crowd in and spin. What used to get 100 percent of all of our efforts, back here, when it was by itself\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmarriage\u2014now, as we get several of our plates going\u2014now, only gets an occasional maintenance spin. [Laughter] It just kind of gets the leftovers; doesn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, something very fascinating occurs\u2014that really has a great impact on this first plate. Something comes along. Some of these come along. [Laughter] Some little saucers come along. And you know, you can spin one of these little rascals here, but they take an awful lot of energy to spin one of these. And that plate called \u201cmarriage\u201d\u2014now, well, it just needs an <em>occasional<\/em> spin\u2014not even a maintenance spin now. And you get several of these little saucers going\u2014and all of a sudden, you\u2019ve got chaos\u2014is what you\u2019ve got. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, it\u2019s interesting what occurs to this little saucer. You know what they become?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to show you what they become. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s a teenager. That\u2019s right. [Laughter] And a teenager\u2014some days is a kid \/ some days they\u2019re an adult. They amaze you at some of the things they can do\u2014perspectives they have. And on other days, they\u2019re somewhere in between. And you can spin these, but they take an awful lot of energy to spin these. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, there\u2019s one other pair of plates, though, that I believe is having a great impact\u2014 not only on this plate called \u201cmarriage\u201d \/ these little plates called \u201ckids\u201d\u2014but upon our lives, as well. It\u2019s a pair of plates that I think are being ignored today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to show those to you. It\u2019s a pair of plates that owe their value to their age. It\u2019s our parents. It always gets real quiet in the room when I bring these out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy do you suppose that is? Because we immediately identify that our parents are people that have needs. As we\u2019re spinning all these plates in life, there\u2019s a pair of plates, way down at the end, that in many of our cases suffer today from child abuse of a different kind. You see it is child-to-parent abuse\u2014neglect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether your parents are alive or no longer living, I believe, this message has application to each and every life in this room because there\u2019s an action point that I\u2019m going to call upon you to make\u2014whether your parents are still living or whether they have already gone on to be with the Lord. You see, I think how we reflect and respond to our parents today\u2014and even the memory of them, if they\u2019re gone\u2014is passed on to our kids. It can poison the legacy that we leave. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, I believe one of the major problems is that there is a lack of honor being given, on our part, to our parents. There is too much distance, I believe, as a result\u2014by the parents, back to their grandkids. I cannot imagine why most grandparents would not want to be involved with their ultimate legacy\u2014and be passing on values, and character, and commitment\u2014having the time to do so, at a point in their lives, when their parents sometimes can\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I wonder if the reason why our parents are not involved is because we, as children, have not given them the honor that God has called us and commanded us to give in the Ten Commandments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPlato has said, \u201cWhat is honored in a land will be cultivated there.\u201d What do we honor today?\u2014youth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t honor gray hair. We honor youth. Our parents are in need, more than ever today, of exalting and uplifting that one of the Ten Commandments that tells us, as children, to honor our parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRoman numeral one, in your outline\u2014\u201cYour mate\u2019s parents have had the most profound influence on his life for good or for bad.\u201d Virgil wrote, some 30 years before the time of Christ, \u201cAs the twig is bent, so the tree inclines.\u201d There has been many a little sapling that has grown up in a home where your parents didn\u2019t do it all right, as we\u2019ll talk about in here. And the twig was bent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, because we have been hatched out of this Freudian psychology\u2014which tells us to blame everything on our past and assume no responsibility for the present\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twe\u2019re looking at all these little bents. We are blaming our parents for the mistakes they\u2019ve made and missing one of the primary opportunities to see our parents honored in their later years of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem is that many expected their parents to be perfect. Some of us have put our parents under some unreal expectations. We expected them to be what only our Heavenly Father could be\u2014what only God could provide. And so, we have punished them, as adults. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second point\u2014\u201cSome adult children lack compassion for their parents\u2019 struggles.\u201d Putting it bluntly\u2014as children, we are too detached from our parents. We are in need of esteeming them, valuing them, honoring them. Putting it another way\u2014we\u2019re selfish. You\u2019re looking at a primo example of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I was 18 years of age before I ever really told my parents, from the heart, the following words: \u201cI love you.\u201d I can still remember the day. It was a hot summer day\u2014the end of the summer in August. I was about to go away to college. I remember the car was packed, and they walked outside. I don\u2019t know what moved me to do it, other than maybe God prompting me\u2014even though my life was really not in His hands, at that point of my life\u2014because I had been horribly selfish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I remember reaching out my hand and grabbed my dad\u2019s callused hand. I shook it. I looked him in the eye; and I said, \u201cDad, I love you.\u201d I looked Mom in the eye, and hugged her, and said, \u201cMom, I love you.\u201d That point marked a beginning point in my life when I began to relate to my parents as people who had needs of being told. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I wrote my mom a couple of love letters while I was at college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA third point\u2014\u201cMany today are still looking for parental approval they never received as a child.\u201d We\u2019re not too detached\u2014we are too attached. We have never left\u2014as it commands us to do in Genesis 2:24, \u201cLeave, cleave, become one flesh.\u201d Before a union can be established\u2014called \u201cmarriage\u201d\u2014we must leave the other union. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, \u201cDennis, I left, physically, years ago.\u201d Well, that may be true, physically; but did you leave, emotionally?\u00a0 You see, some people don\u2019t cut the apron strings\u2014they merely lengthen them\u2014being dependent upon them for money, emotional support, or acceptance. You will never experience all that God has for you in your marriage until you have clipped that apron string and you have cleaved to one another\u2014but you have clipped that apron string in the context of honor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, why is this important? It\u2019s important, not only to make your marriage work, but it\u2019s also important, I think, to leave, within the context of honoring your parents. You see, some parents can be manipulative. They don\u2019t want you to leave. They\u2019re dependent upon you for a purpose\u2014trying to build those apron strings back into your life\u2014when you\u2019re trying to clip them. If that\u2019s the case, you need to be careful and get counsel because your parents can try to control your life, as an adult. They can have a negative impact on your ability to build your marriage today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, point D\u2014\u201cAs a result, many resent their parents for their mistakes.\u201d Dr. Paul Meier, one of the founders of the Minirth-Meier Clinic in Dallas, Texas, says that \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t95 percent of all Christians carry some anger or bitterness toward their parents. That\u2019s an astounding statistic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToo many of us expend far too much emotional energy, casting blame on them when we should be expending our emotional energy on taking responsibility for what we can do right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we have been listening to a much younger Dennis Rainey. [Laughter] Who was that kid we were listening to there? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2014[Laughter]\u2014you know, a lot of water under the bridge since then; but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a life message for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014it is a life message. It\u2019s one that I would wish I could reach through the radio, right now, and just kind of imprint on the heart of every listener\u2014whether young or old: \u201cFind a way, while your mom and dad are still alive, to take honor home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and you speak to that in the book that you wrote called <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em>, which is now out in a 20<sup>th<\/sup> Anniversary Edition. I would hope that a whole new generation of readers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014a whole new generation of young moms and dads\u2014would get a copy of this book and give some careful, prayerful thought to what their assignment is in terms of honoring their parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of <em>The Forgotten Commandment: Experience the Power of Honoring Your Parents<\/em>, the 20<sup>th<\/sup> Anniversary Edition of this book by Dennis Rainey. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy of the book. It is just off the press, and we\u2019re excited to send a copy to you. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em> by Dennis Rainey. Or you can order when you call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d\u20141-800-FL-TODAY. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the conversation that we\u2019re having this week about honoring your parents is really a conversation about your legacy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this month, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we are hoping that many of our regular listeners will join in the legacy of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and become Legacy Partners. A Legacy Partner is somebody who helps support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, on a monthly basis, with a regular donation\u2014somebody who prays for us regularly. If you are not one of our Legacy Partners, our hope is that, during the month of March, we might see 20 new families in every state, where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard, join with us and become Legacy Partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could be one of the 20 in your state. All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d And the information about becoming a Legacy Partner can be found there. We\u2019re going to send you a welcome kit that\u2019s got some CDs in it. It\u2019s got a book of date ideas for couples; and it\u2019s got our brand-new <em>Legacy Partner Cookbook<\/em>, with recipes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfrom Dennis and Barbara, from Mary Ann and me, from the FamilyLife team, and from Legacy Partners, all across the country. This welcome kit is our gift to you when you become a new Legacy Partner. We hope you\u2019ll check that out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cI CARE;\u201d or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019d like to become a Legacy Partner.\u201d And please pray for us that we might see a thousand new Legacy Partners join with this ministry during the month of March. Legacy Partners provide the financial stability that is needed for this ministry. We\u2019re praying that God will raise up some new Legacy Partners. So, join us in that, if you would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I think it would be a good idea for our listeners to hear how you put into action this command to honor your father and your mother. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You talking about the tribute I wrote to my mom? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You wrote a tribute to your mom. When did you write this for her? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In the early \u201880s. Back then, I went to a typesetter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twent to a typesetter and had them typeset my words. My mistake was\u2014Bob, I put it in a frame; and I shipped it to my mom. It arrived in the middle of winter. I still remember the phone conversation with my mom. She got on the phone; and she goes: \u201cIs that about me?\u2014your mean, old mom?\u201d She was kind of chuckling; and she said, \u201cThat was really something.\u201d She said, \u201cI\u2019ve hung it above my dinner table, here, where I start every day with breakfast.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the years ahead, Bob, she would make the phone repair man read it. She\u2019d make the plumber, the relatives in our family [Laughter]\u2014everybody had to read that tribute. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She was a widow\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and had been a widow for almost a decade, at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. I think she read that thing\u2014at least she told me\u2014she read it repeatedly. She said: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThere is a lot about growing old that just kind of discourages you and reminds you of where you\u2019ve failed. And to have those words in front of me, reminding me of what I did right, was extremely precious.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, let\u2019s listen to what you wrote to your mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Tribute]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen she was 35, she carried him in her womb while he did his best to kick her ribs out. After nine long months, he was finally born breach\u2014a difficult and dangerous birth. As a child, she nursed him through, at least, two dozen colds, sore throats, bouts with the flu, nausea, chicken pocks, mumps, and measles. Her steamy hot potato soup was always best to eat propped up against a pillow in bed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHer narrow but tidy kitchen always attracted a crowd. It was the place where food and friends were made. She was a good listener. She always seemed to have the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe taught this boy how to laugh and help others laugh, too. She read him books, taught him how to organize, make lists, how to make his bed, pick up clothes, catch crawdads\u2014same for minnows\u2014bake cakes from scratch, and how not to leave water- filled glasses on wooden tables\u2014it makes rings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOh, she wasn\u2019t perfect; and he never lets forget about the time she impatiently threw a pencil at him while she was on the phone. Being a mischievous three-year-old that he was, he naturally liked to beat pans together when she talked on the phone. The pencil, much to her shock, narrowly missed his eye and left a sliver of lead in his cheek that is still there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOh, yes, she taught him forgiveness by forgiving him an infinite number of times for not making his bed and not picking up his clothes. When he was a teenager\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tshe also forgave him when he got angry and took a swing at her\u2014and fortunately missed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I guess the most profound thing she modeled was a love for God and people. Compassion was her companion. She taught him about giving to others even when she didn\u2019t feel like it. She taught him about accountability, truthfulness, honesty, and transparency. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe modeled a tough loyalty to his dad. He knew divorce was never an option. And she took care of her own parents when old age took its toll. She went to church faithfully. In fact, she led this six-year-old boy to Christ in her Bible study class one Sunday evening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe is truly a woman to be honored. She is more than somebody\u2019s mother\u2014she\u2019s my mom. Mom, I love you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.09M"],"filesize_raw":["24211529"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302975.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302975.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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loved them, you've hated them, and sometimes you didn't understand them at all.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, March 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. The Fifth Commandment does not come with an expiration date.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk about honoring your parents today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. You know, I have to say, \u201cIf I were going to make a list of your life messages, this\u201d\u2014I\u2019m trying to think\u2014\u201ctop ten\u2014this would be top five.\u201d Don\u2019t you think? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This message\u2014on the importance of honoring your parents\u2014I remember the first time I heard it because I had just\u2014you and I had just sat down for the first time to talk about <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. This was in the summer of 1992. You gave me eight cassette tapes of you and Barbara doing the Building Your Mate\u2019s Self-Esteem conference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And this message was one of the eight messages on those cassette tapes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014about honoring your parents\u2014that is exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I remember listening to it. I thought, \u201cThat\u2019d make a good radio program.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter] And in fact, the first week we were on the air\u2014this was one of the messages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know\u2014you are right. I had forgotten about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The first\u2014it was Wednesday and Thursday, the first week in November of 1992\u2014this message was featured on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. But actually, the message goes back\u2014maybe, a decade before <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, actually, Bob, it could go back two decades\u2014to the early 1970s\u2014when I worked with high school students, all of the country. Even then, this message was germinating as I talked to young people\/ teenagers about why they should honor their mother and father. It would get really, really quiet in there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd even then, I felt like I was tapping into something\u2014in this fifth commandment of the Ten Commandments\u2014that wasn\u2019t being talked about then\u2014and certainly, still isn\u2019t being talked about, now, some four decades later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, back in 1994, you wrote a book called <em>The Tribute\u2014<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twhere you challenged all of us to honor our parents. Now, it\u2019s the 20<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary of the launch of that book. I\u2019ve heard you say that you\u2019ve gotten more feedback from this book than maybe any other book you\u2019ve ever written. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have a file\u2014maybe more than a foot tall\u2014of letters and tributes\u2014copies of tributes that people have sent in and stories of how they have taken the time\u2014at an anniversary, at a birthday, at Christmas, or for no good reason just other than just to honor their parents\u2014have written a tribute. Many of them have put it in a frame and had a ceremony where they read it to their parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s fascinating. I was with a young lady, not too long ago. She had just found out her dad had been diagnosed with a disease that was going to take his life in a matter of weeks. I put this book in her hand\u2014I pressed it in there, and I said, \u201cNo regrets. No regrets.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said: \u201cI\u2019m taking this back, and my brother and I are going to write tributes. We\u2019re going to read them to him while he is alive.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it may mean, as I talk about in the book\u2014it may mean you have to deal with some stuff in order to get to the subject of honor; but I think that\u2019s what God had in mind when he came up with this fifth commandment, out of the Ten Commandments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The book on honoring your parents has now been revised and updated. The 20<sup>th<\/sup> Anniversary Edition of the book is being released this week. It\u2019s now called <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em> because, in fact, this is one of those overlooked commandments among the Ten. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is. And I think it needs to be dusted off today because we\u2019ve been bashing and blaming our parents and been victims of our parents\u2019 poor choices and mistakes. And by the way, they do make mistakes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of things parents have done that they should ask forgiveness for, but this commandment doesn\u2019t have any conditions. The fifth commandment just says, \u201cHonor your mother and your father that your days may be long in the land that the Lord Your God gives you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, let\u2019s listen to how you tackled this subject\u2014back more than two decades ago\u2014as you challenged an audience of married couples to fulfill the fifth commandment and to honor their father and their mother. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Perhaps, some of you have seen me share an illustration about a man. He used to come on the <em>Ed Sullivan<\/em> program a number of years ago. It was a man who would bring out some plates. I can remember, as a young lad in southwest Missouri, seeing this guy come out with a large stack of plates and a table that would be almost as long as the stage. After Ed Sullivan had introduced him, he would, then, take one of those plates and a stick that was underneath it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand he would begin to spin that plate and spin that stick. Do you remember? He\u2019d get that plate spinning and get it going. Then he would move to a second plate. He would get it spinning and going with that stick. He\u2019d spin it\u2014and had two, and three, and four, and five. Finally, he would have about six or seven plates going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can still recall, as a young lad, screaming and yelling at this guy because of what was happening to the first plate. Do you remember what it was doing, at that point? It was beginning to wobble. It was as though he could hear me screaming\u2014all the way from southern Missouri to that New York or Madison Avenue studio\u2014because he would turn around and run back and grab that stick and spin it and it get off. He\u2019d go with eight, nine, ten, eleven, and twelve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy then, plate number two was wobbling. The rest of the\u2014really, the act was this guy going back and forth, spinning these plates\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014as many as 15 to 20 plates on this table\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\trunning back and forth. At just the moment you knew this guy couldn\u2019t keep them all spinning, he\u2019d start at one end of that table\u2014and he gathered them all up\u2014just like he was going to the cupboard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I think that act is a lot like what takes place in marriage. We meet someone we love. We decide we\u2019ll become one, and we get married. So, we get over here; and we start spinning this little plate called marriage. We start playing house. It\u2019s fun to spin this plate, and there aren\u2019t any distractions\u2014there\u2019s just Barbara and me. We\u2019re enjoying spinning this plate. It gets all the attention, and it\u2019s humming along and moving out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, some things begin to change. There\u2019s an increase in job responsibility. Then, there is perhaps a move involved. Then, there are new friends and responsibilities at church\u2014all begin to crowd in and spin. What used to get 100 percent of all of our efforts, back here, when it was by itself\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmarriage\u2014now, as we get several of our plates going\u2014now, only gets an occasional maintenance spin. [Laughter] It just kind of gets the leftovers; doesn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, something very fascinating occurs\u2014that really has a great impact on this first plate. Something comes along. Some of these come along. [Laughter] Some little saucers come along. And you know, you can spin one of these little rascals here, but they take an awful lot of energy to spin one of these. And that plate called \u201cmarriage\u201d\u2014now, well, it just needs an <em>occasional<\/em> spin\u2014not even a maintenance spin now. And you get several of these little saucers going\u2014and all of a sudden, you\u2019ve got chaos\u2014is what you\u2019ve got. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, it\u2019s interesting what occurs to this little saucer. You know what they become?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to show you what they become. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s a teenager. That\u2019s right. [Laughter] And a teenager\u2014some days is a kid \/ some days they\u2019re an adult. They amaze you at some of the things they can do\u2014perspectives they have. And on other days, they\u2019re somewhere in between. And you can spin these, but they take an awful lot of energy to spin these. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, there\u2019s one other pair of plates, though, that I believe is having a great impact\u2014 not only on this plate called \u201cmarriage\u201d \/ these little plates called \u201ckids\u201d\u2014but upon our lives, as well. It\u2019s a pair of plates that I think are being ignored today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to show those to you. It\u2019s a pair of plates that owe their value to their age. It\u2019s our parents. It always gets real quiet in the room when I bring these out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy do you suppose that is? Because we immediately identify that our parents are people that have needs. As we\u2019re spinning all these plates in life, there\u2019s a pair of plates, way down at the end, that in many of our cases suffer today from child abuse of a different kind. You see it is child-to-parent abuse\u2014neglect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether your parents are alive or no longer living, I believe, this message has application to each and every life in this room because there\u2019s an action point that I\u2019m going to call upon you to make\u2014whether your parents are still living or whether they have already gone on to be with the Lord. You see, I think how we reflect and respond to our parents today\u2014and even the memory of them, if they\u2019re gone\u2014is passed on to our kids. It can poison the legacy that we leave. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, I believe one of the major problems is that there is a lack of honor being given, on our part, to our parents. There is too much distance, I believe, as a result\u2014by the parents, back to their grandkids. I cannot imagine why most grandparents would not want to be involved with their ultimate legacy\u2014and be passing on values, and character, and commitment\u2014having the time to do so, at a point in their lives, when their parents sometimes can\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I wonder if the reason why our parents are not involved is because we, as children, have not given them the honor that God has called us and commanded us to give in the Ten Commandments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPlato has said, \u201cWhat is honored in a land will be cultivated there.\u201d What do we honor today?\u2014youth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t honor gray hair. We honor youth. Our parents are in need, more than ever today, of exalting and uplifting that one of the Ten Commandments that tells us, as children, to honor our parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRoman numeral one, in your outline\u2014\u201cYour mate\u2019s parents have had the most profound influence on his life for good or for bad.\u201d Virgil wrote, some 30 years before the time of Christ, \u201cAs the twig is bent, so the tree inclines.\u201d There has been many a little sapling that has grown up in a home where your parents didn\u2019t do it all right, as we\u2019ll talk about in here. And the twig was bent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, because we have been hatched out of this Freudian psychology\u2014which tells us to blame everything on our past and assume no responsibility for the present\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twe\u2019re looking at all these little bents. We are blaming our parents for the mistakes they\u2019ve made and missing one of the primary opportunities to see our parents honored in their later years of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem is that many expected their parents to be perfect. Some of us have put our parents under some unreal expectations. We expected them to be what only our Heavenly Father could be\u2014what only God could provide. And so, we have punished them, as adults. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second point\u2014\u201cSome adult children lack compassion for their parents\u2019 struggles.\u201d Putting it bluntly\u2014as children, we are too detached from our parents. We are in need of esteeming them, valuing them, honoring them. Putting it another way\u2014we\u2019re selfish. You\u2019re looking at a primo example of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I was 18 years of age before I ever really told my parents, from the heart, the following words: \u201cI love you.\u201d I can still remember the day. It was a hot summer day\u2014the end of the summer in August. I was about to go away to college. I remember the car was packed, and they walked outside. I don\u2019t know what moved me to do it, other than maybe God prompting me\u2014even though my life was really not in His hands, at that point of my life\u2014because I had been horribly selfish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I remember reaching out my hand and grabbed my dad\u2019s callused hand. I shook it. I looked him in the eye; and I said, \u201cDad, I love you.\u201d I looked Mom in the eye, and hugged her, and said, \u201cMom, I love you.\u201d That point marked a beginning point in my life when I began to relate to my parents as people who had needs of being told. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I wrote my mom a couple of love letters while I was at college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA third point\u2014\u201cMany today are still looking for parental approval they never received as a child.\u201d We\u2019re not too detached\u2014we are too attached. We have never left\u2014as it commands us to do in Genesis 2:24, \u201cLeave, cleave, become one flesh.\u201d Before a union can be established\u2014called \u201cmarriage\u201d\u2014we must leave the other union. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, \u201cDennis, I left, physically, years ago.\u201d Well, that may be true, physically; but did you leave, emotionally?\u00a0 You see, some people don\u2019t cut the apron strings\u2014they merely lengthen them\u2014being dependent upon them for money, emotional support, or acceptance. You will never experience all that God has for you in your marriage until you have clipped that apron string and you have cleaved to one another\u2014but you have clipped that apron string in the context of honor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, why is this important? It\u2019s important, not only to make your marriage work, but it\u2019s also important, I think, to leave, within the context of honoring your parents. You see, some parents can be manipulative. They don\u2019t want you to leave. They\u2019re dependent upon you for a purpose\u2014trying to build those apron strings back into your life\u2014when you\u2019re trying to clip them. If that\u2019s the case, you need to be careful and get counsel because your parents can try to control your life, as an adult. They can have a negative impact on your ability to build your marriage today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, point D\u2014\u201cAs a result, many resent their parents for their mistakes.\u201d Dr. Paul Meier, one of the founders of the Minirth-Meier Clinic in Dallas, Texas, says that \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t95 percent of all Christians carry some anger or bitterness toward their parents. That\u2019s an astounding statistic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToo many of us expend far too much emotional energy, casting blame on them when we should be expending our emotional energy on taking responsibility for what we can do right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we have been listening to a much younger Dennis Rainey. [Laughter] Who was that kid we were listening to there? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2014[Laughter]\u2014you know, a lot of water under the bridge since then; but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a life message for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014it is a life message. It\u2019s one that I would wish I could reach through the radio, right now, and just kind of imprint on the heart of every listener\u2014whether young or old: \u201cFind a way, while your mom and dad are still alive, to take honor home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and you speak to that in the book that you wrote called <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em>, which is now out in a 20<sup>th<\/sup> Anniversary Edition. I would hope that a whole new generation of readers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014a whole new generation of young moms and dads\u2014would get a copy of this book and give some careful, prayerful thought to what their assignment is in terms of honoring their parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of <em>The Forgotten Commandment: Experience the Power of Honoring Your Parents<\/em>, the 20<sup>th<\/sup> Anniversary Edition of this book by Dennis Rainey. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy of the book. It is just off the press, and we\u2019re excited to send a copy to you. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em> by Dennis Rainey. Or you can order when you call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d\u20141-800-FL-TODAY. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the conversation that we\u2019re having this week about honoring your parents is really a conversation about your legacy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this month, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we are hoping that many of our regular listeners will join in the legacy of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and become Legacy Partners. A Legacy Partner is somebody who helps support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, on a monthly basis, with a regular donation\u2014somebody who prays for us regularly. If you are not one of our Legacy Partners, our hope is that, during the month of March, we might see 20 new families in every state, where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard, join with us and become Legacy Partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could be one of the 20 in your state. All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d And the information about becoming a Legacy Partner can be found there. We\u2019re going to send you a welcome kit that\u2019s got some CDs in it. It\u2019s got a book of date ideas for couples; and it\u2019s got our brand-new <em>Legacy Partner Cookbook<\/em>, with recipes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfrom Dennis and Barbara, from Mary Ann and me, from the FamilyLife team, and from Legacy Partners, all across the country. This welcome kit is our gift to you when you become a new Legacy Partner. We hope you\u2019ll check that out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cI CARE;\u201d or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019d like to become a Legacy Partner.\u201d And please pray for us that we might see a thousand new Legacy Partners join with this ministry during the month of March. Legacy Partners provide the financial stability that is needed for this ministry. We\u2019re praying that God will raise up some new Legacy Partners. So, join us in that, if you would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I think it would be a good idea for our listeners to hear how you put into action this command to honor your father and your mother. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You talking about the tribute I wrote to my mom? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You wrote a tribute to your mom. When did you write this for her? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In the early \u201880s. Back then, I went to a typesetter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twent to a typesetter and had them typeset my words. My mistake was\u2014Bob, I put it in a frame; and I shipped it to my mom. It arrived in the middle of winter. I still remember the phone conversation with my mom. She got on the phone; and she goes: \u201cIs that about me?\u2014your mean, old mom?\u201d She was kind of chuckling; and she said, \u201cThat was really something.\u201d She said, \u201cI\u2019ve hung it above my dinner table, here, where I start every day with breakfast.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the years ahead, Bob, she would make the phone repair man read it. She\u2019d make the plumber, the relatives in our family [Laughter]\u2014everybody had to read that tribute. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She was a widow\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and had been a widow for almost a decade, at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. I think she read that thing\u2014at least she told me\u2014she read it repeatedly. She said: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThere is a lot about growing old that just kind of discourages you and reminds you of where you\u2019ve failed. And to have those words in front of me, reminding me of what I did right, was extremely precious.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, let\u2019s listen to what you wrote to your mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Tribute]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen she was 35, she carried him in her womb while he did his best to kick her ribs out. After nine long months, he was finally born breach\u2014a difficult and dangerous birth. As a child, she nursed him through, at least, two dozen colds, sore throats, bouts with the flu, nausea, chicken pocks, mumps, and measles. Her steamy hot potato soup was always best to eat propped up against a pillow in bed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHer narrow but tidy kitchen always attracted a crowd. It was the place where food and friends were made. She was a good listener. She always seemed to have the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe taught this boy how to laugh and help others laugh, too. She read him books, taught him how to organize, make lists, how to make his bed, pick up clothes, catch crawdads\u2014same for minnows\u2014bake cakes from scratch, and how not to leave water- filled glasses on wooden tables\u2014it makes rings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOh, she wasn\u2019t perfect; and he never lets forget about the time she impatiently threw a pencil at him while she was on the phone. Being a mischievous three-year-old that he was, he naturally liked to beat pans together when she talked on the phone. The pencil, much to her shock, narrowly missed his eye and left a sliver of lead in his cheek that is still there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOh, yes, she taught him forgiveness by forgiving him an infinite number of times for not making his bed and not picking up his clothes. When he was a teenager\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tshe also forgave him when he got angry and took a swing at her\u2014and fortunately missed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I guess the most profound thing she modeled was a love for God and people. Compassion was her companion. She taught him about giving to others even when she didn\u2019t feel like it. She taught him about accountability, truthfulness, honesty, and transparency. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe modeled a tough loyalty to his dad. He knew divorce was never an option. And she took care of her own parents when old age took its toll. She went to church faithfully. In fact, she led this six-year-old boy to Christ in her Bible study class one Sunday evening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe is truly a woman to be honored. She is more than somebody\u2019s mother\u2014she\u2019s my mom. Mom, I love you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302975","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302975"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302975"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302975"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302975"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302975"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302975"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302975"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}