{"id":302969,"date":"2014-03-12T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-03-12T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/mom-as-spiritual-leader\/"},"modified":"2014-03-12T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-03-12T15:00:00","slug":"mom-as-spiritual-leader","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mom-as-spiritual-leader\/","title":{"rendered":"Mom as Spiritual Leader"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller, who both experienced a spiritual renewal after marrying outside the faith, coach moms on how be the spiritual leader in their homes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-12.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.29M","filesize_raw":"27565475","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2861],"tags":[4085],"podcast_series":[7999],"cwp_profile":[9283,3414],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302969","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritually-mismatched","tag-unequally-yoked","podcast_series-not-alone","cwp_profile-dineen-miller","cwp_profile-lynn-donovan","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302969\/mom-as-spiritual-leader","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302969\/mom-as-spiritual-leader","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"OnYAZwdwWH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mom-as-spiritual-leader\/\">Mom as Spiritual Leader<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mom-as-spiritual-leader\/embed\/#?secret=OnYAZwdwWH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Mom as Spiritual Leader&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"OnYAZwdwWH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-12.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-12.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, March 12<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll provide some help today for believing parents in a spiritually-mismatched marriage who are trying to raise believing children. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You\u2014from the earliest days of your marriage\u2014recognized that you have, as a husband, a responsibility to provide some level of spiritual leadership in the home; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Been reminded of my responsibility. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> By your wife? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> On occasions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> On occasion, by my lovely bride of more than four decades. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And, of course, the two of you have kind of a common understanding about that. And this week, we\u2019re talking about spiritually-mismatched marriages and about a scenario where\u2014instead of a husband and a dad providing spiritual leadership in the home\u2014mom has to step in and figure out, \u201cWhat do I do if he\u2019s not going to take that responsibility?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes\u2014and still be supportive, in the process, of him, as a man. In fact, I\u2019ve got a tough question coming for both of you ladies; but first of all, I want to welcome you back. Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Ladies, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Thanks for having us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Thank you. Glad to be back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Notice I didn\u2019t call you, \u201cYou guys,\u201d like I did earlier. I\u2019m sorry. I apologize. They have written a book together called <em>Not Alone<\/em>. It\u2019s about how you raise children in a spiritually-mismatched home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd here is my question for you\u2014I\u2019m going to read this passage, and I\u2019m going to ask you, \u201cHow do you fulfill this passage from Scripture when you take into consideration what Bob just said\u2014that the husband has been charged with leading his family spiritually?\u201d And that\u2019s more than just bowing over a meal in the evening. Here\u2019s the passage: \u201cHowever, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201csee that she respects her husband.\u201d How do you maintain a respectful attitude for your husband when he\u2019s not in the game in this area? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> It\u2019s a very important area. That\u2019s part of the reason why\u2014in our book, at the end of each chapter\u2014we have a section there about the topic and how to play this out with respect to dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe wrote this book\u2014not just for the mismatched home\u2014because we see it as there are so many moms, out there, that are walking alone\u2014whether they are mismatched, whether they are separated, divorced, or even a single mom\u2014because it\u2019s the message of: \u201cWe have the Creator of the universe backing us up.\u201d He\u2019s our partner in this, ultimately. But in that situation\u2014where Dad isn\u2019t part of that spiritual leadership\u2014it\u2019s very important that we, as the mom, step into that place. And we can do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t mean we have to stand into complete leadership of the home. And we\u2019re best not to do that. It\u2019s important that Dad still has that place of leadership in the home. But as far as our children are, spiritually, we need to step in and we need to be that leadership for them because we\u2014as you said before, Dennis\u2014we do have an assignment. It\u2019s very important because it\u2019s not just about us and our relationship with God\u2014it\u2019s also about the generations after us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The passing on your faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And Lynn, I want to ask you the question, in just a minute; but I want to come back to Dineen, at this point, and ask you, \u201cHow do you do that?\u201d because you are taking responsibility to lead your family, spiritually. How do you support him in his leadership of the family in other areas? How do you respect him in that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> By seeing that that\u2019s his place, whether it\u2019s a decision to be made in the family\u2014it\u2019s, \u201cWill we need to do this?\u201d Sometimes, even now, my girls will come and ask me a question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI say: \u201cWell, I think this; but let\u2019s talk to Dad about that and make sure that this is his desire for this, and that\u2019s what he wants to do to. It\u2019s important that we\u2019re all onboard here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the things you have to do to be able to do that is you have to be able to separate the biblical essentials\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014from some of your biblical preferences because there are things that you\u2019re going to have to say: \u201cWell, I would prefer it this way, <em>but<\/em> that\u2019s a personal conscience issue. I can\u2019t necessarily impose that on everybody else. So, I\u2019m going to have to learn to flex here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Illustrate what you\u2019re talking about, though, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, a biblical essential would be something like\u2014if your husband said: \u201cI don\u2019t want any praying in this house. I don\u2019t want anybody to pray and never talk to God at all.\u201d Okay, you can\u2019t agree with that; right?\u2014because God commands us to pray. God commands us to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Right. That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to follow Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you can pray silently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You could figure out ways that you can do that. This is what Daniel faced when the king said,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cEat this meat.\u201d Daniel said, \u201cI\u2019ve got to do what God says.\u201d He negotiated a deal; and Nebuchadnezzar said, \u201cOkay.\u201d So, there are ways we can learn from the shrewdness of a guy like Daniel in that situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it might be that your husband would say: \u201cYou know, I think it is okay for you guys to stay out until one on Sunday morning. You don\u2019t have to\u2014don\u2019t worry about your curfew. Stay out as late as you want.\u201d You\u2019re thinking: \u201cWell, they are not going to be ready for church the next day,\u201d and, \u201cThey\u2019re not going to be this,\u201d and, \u201cI wish it was this way.\u201d This is not a hill you can die on. This is where you have to say, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s what Dad said; and that\u2019s what you are going to be able to do.\u201d Am I right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That is correct. Yes. You have to\u2014I believe that\u2019s where your faith and your living out your faith in front of your children, every day, helps them to make good decisions when they are given opportunity that maybe you wouldn\u2019t want them to have. And being the spiritual leader of your home doesn\u2019t have to be: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLike in your face, Dad,\u201d or you\u2019re not quoting Scripture to them and saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to make this decision because of this.\u201d It\u2019s in you. You have God\u2019s Word in you. It\u2019s what you believe; and it comes out in every day conversation, especially with my husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, if we had conflict about different ideas, it comes down to love and honor. I mean, it goes both ways. My husband honors me and loves me, and I honor him and love him. We have conversation. And on a curfew kind of issue\u2014like you were talking about, Bob\u2014we would probably talk about that beforehand instead of him making a blanket statement. But I do know that that happens\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014and those are times where you go, \u201cOkay, I have to flex a little bit.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. So, Dad sits down at dinner and says: \u201cHey, kids! I\u2019ve got something fun for us to do. I got tickets to go to the haunted house for Halloween; huh?!\u201d The kids are going: \u201cCool! Alright! My friend at school said it was really cool.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you\u2019re just sitting there going, \u201cOh, man, the haunted house.\u201d What do you do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> There are times when you\u2019ve had to say, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m going.\u201d When they come back, frightened out of their mind\u2014\u201cWell, maybe, we don\u2019t want to do that again,\u201d and, \u201cSee,\u201d you know? and, \u201cDad\u2014maybe, that\u2019s a conversation you and I need to have next time.\u201d I know we have lived through that a million different times with decisions on how we make\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right; and I think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014with our husbands. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> \u2014yes, and I think also\u2014and I don\u2019t say this to take God out of the conversation, but we don\u2019t always have to make it a lecture. We don\u2019t have to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> \u2014make it a sermon. I think, when we\u2019re on the heart level, and we say, \u201cI understand that you want to give them this freedom, but I don\u2019t think this is good for our daughter or our son.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went through this with my youngest daughter. She\u2019s a very sensitive person\u2014even in a movie\u2014that the buildup of tension, through the music, would just send her behind a couch and hiding before anything happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe would easily have nightmares. So, I was able to say: \u201cYou know, I understand you want her to watch this with you; but remember, she\u2019s the one who has nightmares at night. She\u2019s very sensitive. This is just going to kind of wreck her world for a while. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s worth it,\u201d you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re not playing the God-card\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014every time there is a\u2014right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> I mean, there are times we do have to stand on moral ground; and we do need to stand on God\u2019s Word. I mean, that\u2019s important\u2014when we know what we know, and we know what is true, and we have to stand on that truth\u2014but I think it\u2019s important, too, that we help our spouse to understand the heart level and the big picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, so, the haunted house is a great illustration. We\u2019re going to move the cookies just a little bit lower on the shelf with this next question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> I feel like I\u2019m back in school. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Here comes the test!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, I just want to know how you\u2019d coach a woman to handle this because there has to be a woman, right now\u2014she\u2019s either in a marriage with a man like this or she\u2019s cohabiting\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tliving with a guy who is like this\u2014single-parent mom\u2014and the guy is bringing pornography into the home, on the screen, in front of the kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> That\u2019s bad! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, now, what are we talking about here? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That\u2019s a deal breaker. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That\u2019s crossed a boundary. From everything I have known about pornography in a marriage relationship\u2014any kind of relationship\u2014it is destructive. It is hurtful. We have hundreds of women that write to us, who are dealing with this in their marriage, right now. It is so brutal and destructive to the woman and her heart. Absolutely\u2014to put a child in that mix\u2014is a boundary that has been crossed. I would say: \u201cImmediately\u2014immediately\u2014you need to seek counsel to help you walk through this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if it was happening right in front of me\u2014for me and my home\u2014I would be the first person to go unplug the computer\u2014unplug it and say, \u201cWe need to have a talk, right now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. I think what both of you are illustrating here is a passage that we read earlier, from 1 Corinthians, Chapter 7, where it talks about how a believing wife sanctifies her home\u2014sanctifies her husband and her children. She sets them apart as holy. You can\u2019t drop your standard. Even as you respect your husband, you can respect him; but you don\u2019t have to embrace the sin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Well-said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to ask you guys about the discipling you\u2019ve done of your kids because I guess both of your husbands have been\u2014they\u2019ve been okay\u2014they\u2019ve said to you, \u201cI want my kids to be able to make their own choice when they get to be at the right age,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut they\u2019ve still let you spiritually train your kids, as they were growing up. You\u2019ve used the holidays to do that. In fact, you were talking about the fact that you\u2019ve used FamilyLife\u2019s Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> with your kids, as a discipleship tool; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Right; absolutely. My daughter <em>loved<\/em> that tool. It\u2019s one of the very simply ways to bring the resurrection story to a small child and tell it. It\u2019s non-threatening\u2014I mean, they are opening up little Easter eggs\u2014that have got little emblems of all of the resurrection week. Every year, we pull the Easter box down; and that\u2019s the first thing we would open up. What a beautiful moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just remember my daughter, as a young girl, opening these eggs, and the delight on her face, and we were telling the story of Jesus. She got to the very last egg, and she opens it up, and it\u2019s empty. Her little face looks up, like, \u201cWell, there\u2019s nothing in this egg.\u201d \u201cThe grave is empty!\u2014that\u2019s why the egg is empty.\u201d So, there are so many really fun, neat, little ways to share our faith, every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the Resurrection Eggs was one of them. In fact, I think I told you earlier, that she\u2019s 18 now. I got the eggs out the other day to look at them. She goes, \u201cOh, the Resurrection Eggs,\u201d and went to them and had to open them all up. Her girlfriend was there\u2014and, you know, teenagers opening up the eggs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProfound and very simple ways\u2014it\u2019s not, \u201cIn your face,\u201d to Dad. It\u2019s respectful. Those are stories that live with them, and they take them with them into their adult life, and they take their faith with them into their adult life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think we need to acknowledge, here, the fact that your kids have embraced Christ. There are a lot of moms, in a spiritually-mismatched marriage, who don\u2019t have that story. There is not a recipe you can pour into a bowl and mix up a believing child. And some moms have watched their kids embrace dad\u2019s values and dad\u2019s way of thinking\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and it\u2019s still breaking their hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> That happens. I think that happens in a matched marriage, too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur children\u2014we do our part; but in the end, it\u2019s still their choice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But here\u2019s the difference\u2014when Mom and Dad are on the same page\u2014Mom and Dad come together and pray for that child\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> True; very true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and want that child to come back to the faith; but now, here\u2019s the child going, \u201cI\u2019m going Dad\u2019s way,\u201d and Dad is going, \u201cGood for you.\u201d And Mom is alone\u2014isolated over there\u2014 going, \u201cI\u2019m the only one to do spiritual battle in the life of my child.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> I think they feel like that, but they\u2019re not alone; and we serve the great God of the universe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, wait, you said, \u201cNot alone.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> We are not alone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s the title of this book that you wrote about raising kids in a spiritually-mismatched marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Right. When we pray\u2014I mean, ordinary moms\u2014man, we can rattle the heavenlies;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014and we move God\u2019s heart for our kids. You know, I was a prodigal. My mom prayed for me for many years, and I\u2019m so glad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe prayed, \u201cGod, just don\u2019t let go of her.\u201d So, I don\u2019t care how old or how far gone you think your child is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, how old\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014there is always hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014how old were you when the spiritual lights finally came one? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> I was probably 27\/28 when I really\u2014and I remarried, actually, when I was 30. So, it was right after that that I really had a reawakening\u2014when God wooed me back home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Here\u2019s what I want to say to the woman who is in a marriage and it feels hopeless: \u201cIt\u2019s not all upon you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That\u2019s correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You just\u2014you don\u2019t realize\u2014maybe, the best thing you can do is to raise those kids to follow Christ. Maybe, God will touch their hearts and they will be a light on a hill. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDineen, your daughter had a bout with depression and also cancer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you\u2019re husband watched all this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Yes, he did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean talk about the practical application of faith against life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Yes, it doesn\u2019t get more real than that. We walked through it very differently. I\u2019ve had friends express their amazement that, that alone, wasn\u2019t enough to help my husband see the truth of God\u2019s presence in our lives and things that happened. I mean, there were outright miracles that happened through that process. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne story that is just my absolute favorite is in our book about\u2014of all things\u2014a video tape\/a movie that I was trying to find for my daughter. She was about to go through her big surgery to remove the tumor. She wanted to watch <em>Oliver &amp; Company<\/em>. This movie was not to be found. It was in the Disney vault at the time. The library at the Children\u2019s Hospital didn\u2019t have it. I finally located a copy of it from a friend at church. She brought it up the next day so we could have it ready for Leslie so she could watch it in her room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I kid you not\u2014as I went up to that player, it was a combo VHS\/DVD player. I had a DVD in my hand of <em>Oliver &amp; Company<\/em> and noticed there was a tape in this machine. I popped it out, and that VHS tape\u2014what do you think it was? It was <em>Oliver &amp; Company<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> And I turned around, speechless. I looked at my daughter. She\u2019s just sitting there with the biggest grin on her face. I asked her later, \u201cWhat does that tell you?\u201d \u201cThat tells me God\u2019s looking out for me.\u201d God does these things, and He is right there with us. We are not, by far, alone in this journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if I can also, again, bring home the point that\u2014one, we need community. Going to church, I know, is hard\u2014been there; done that\u2014when you have two little ones and you\u2019re doing it on your own\u2014but our churches need to step in and help fill the gap when we are there, as single moms and dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur churches need to step up and fill the gap. We don\u2019t all have to look alike. This is an opportunity\u2014partner with us. Help us raise our children to know Christ. We can do this together. We don\u2019t have to do it alone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Two things, in closing\u2014number one\u2014thank you all for having the courage to write this book. Thank your husbands on behalf of tens of thousands of listeners, who have benefitted from you going public on a real private matter, frankly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I recall the last time you ladies were here\u2014we concluded the broadcast with the following exhortation: \u201cIf you are in a spiritually-mismatched marriage, come to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>. Do what it takes to get your spouse to that conference to hear a fun, entertaining, romantic message for a weekend that could change his or her life\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthey\u2019re going to hear the gospel.<br><br>And for those Legacy Partners who support us\u2014you just need to kind of pump out your chest a bit and go: \u201cI\u2019m a part of that! I\u2019m a part of that ministry.\u201d We\u2019ll have somewhere between two and three thousand people, a year, receive Christ at these conferences. And I\u2019m convinced\u2014it is wives promising, dragging\u2014who knows how they get\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Respectfully dragging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014of course. [Laughter] Of course\u2014getting their husbands to the conference so they could hear a winsome presentation of how God designed Christian marriage to be. And in the process, meet the Redeemer\u2014the One who came to forgive sin, and give people a hope, and put the peace of God in individuals\u2019 lives, marriages, and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I\u2019d say: \u201cIf you are listening and you are in one of these marriages\u2014and you\u2019ve been identifying with these ladies\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand what\u2019s going on in their homes\u2014do what you have to do. Don\u2019t break any of God\u2019s laws; but get them there\u2014whatever the cost.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd thanks, again, ladies, for writing <em>Not Alone<\/em>. This is going to be used by a lot of people. I\u2019m convinced. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We do have information about the<em> Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com and still have several dozen of these events taking place this spring. So, if you\u2019d like to find out when a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is coming to a city near you, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have information about the resources we talked about earlier\u2014the Resurrection Eggs that you talked about, Lynn\u2014using those with your daughter, as she was growing up, and you were introducing\u00a0 to her the story of Easter\u2014and some of the resources that Barbara Rainey has created for families, around the holidays, as well. You can find out about those resources when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we have copies of the books that Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller have written. The one we\u2019ve been talking about today is called <em>Not Alone: Trusting God to Help You Raise Godly Kids in a Spiritually Mismatched Home<\/em>. Then, we also have the book we talked about, a while back, called <em>Winning Him Without Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order any of these resources we\u2019ve talked about when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we always hope that programs like today\u2019s program will be helpful to listeners\u2014whether you are in this situation yourself or whether you know somebody else who is. Our goal is to provide practical, biblical help for your marriage and for your family, day-in and day-out, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong><br><br>There is a team of folks who share that vision with us. They have a real heart to see this program continue to thrive and to be heard by more and more people\u2014not only here in the United States\u2014but now, around the world, via the internet and using the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> mobile app. These folks are folks we call our Legacy Partners. A Legacy Partner is somebody who makes a monthly contribution to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> to provide a solid, regular foundation to help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the truth is\u2014that while we\u2019ve got a great team of Legacy Partners\u2014honestly, we could use more. In fact, our team has been hoping and praying that this year we might hear from 1,000 people during the month of March\u2014that\u2019s about 20 in every state where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard\u20141,000 families who would step up and say: \u201cWe want to join with you. We think what <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is doing is important, and we\u2019ll help support the ministry with a monthly donation.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you would do that this month\u2014be one of the thousand to step forward\u2014we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you our Legacy Partner welcome kit. It\u2019s got some CDs and some other resources, along with the brand-new <em>Legacy Partner Family Cookbook<\/em>. I\u2019m pretty excited about this because it\u2019s got some recipes from Dennis and Barbara. It\u2019s got some recipes from Mary Ann and me. It\u2019s got some recipes from our staff; but most of the recipes come from listeners, like you\u2014Legacy Partners who have submitted recipes to be included in the cookbook. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d Find out about becoming a Legacy Partner; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say: \u201cI\u2019m interested. I\u2019d like our family to be one of the 1,000 that you\u2019re praying about this month.\u201d As soon as you do that, we\u2019ll get the welcome kit out to you, including the brand-new cookbook. Our toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. The website, again: FamilyLifeToday.com. Click on the button that says\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u201cI CARE,\u201d to sign on as a Legacy Partner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you will be back with us again tomorrow. We\u2019re going to meet a dad who checked out on his marriage and his family until God got a hold of him and brought a wake-up call. We\u2019ll hear from Brad Mathias tomorrow. We\u2019ll hear the story of how God put his family back together again. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.29M"],"filesize_raw":["27565475"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302969.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302969.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Donovan and Dineen Miller, who both experienced a spiritual renewal after marrying outside the faith, coach moms on how be the spiritual leader in their homes.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-12.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, March 12<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll provide some help today for believing parents in a spiritually-mismatched marriage who are trying to raise believing children. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You\u2014from the earliest days of your marriage\u2014recognized that you have, as a husband, a responsibility to provide some level of spiritual leadership in the home; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Been reminded of my responsibility. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> By your wife? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> On occasions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> On occasion, by my lovely bride of more than four decades. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And, of course, the two of you have kind of a common understanding about that. And this week, we\u2019re talking about spiritually-mismatched marriages and about a scenario where\u2014instead of a husband and a dad providing spiritual leadership in the home\u2014mom has to step in and figure out, \u201cWhat do I do if he\u2019s not going to take that responsibility?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes\u2014and still be supportive, in the process, of him, as a man. In fact, I\u2019ve got a tough question coming for both of you ladies; but first of all, I want to welcome you back. Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Ladies, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Thanks for having us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Thank you. Glad to be back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Notice I didn\u2019t call you, \u201cYou guys,\u201d like I did earlier. I\u2019m sorry. I apologize. They have written a book together called <em>Not Alone<\/em>. It\u2019s about how you raise children in a spiritually-mismatched home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd here is my question for you\u2014I\u2019m going to read this passage, and I\u2019m going to ask you, \u201cHow do you fulfill this passage from Scripture when you take into consideration what Bob just said\u2014that the husband has been charged with leading his family spiritually?\u201d And that\u2019s more than just bowing over a meal in the evening. Here\u2019s the passage: \u201cHowever, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201csee that she respects her husband.\u201d How do you maintain a respectful attitude for your husband when he\u2019s not in the game in this area? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> It\u2019s a very important area. That\u2019s part of the reason why\u2014in our book, at the end of each chapter\u2014we have a section there about the topic and how to play this out with respect to dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe wrote this book\u2014not just for the mismatched home\u2014because we see it as there are so many moms, out there, that are walking alone\u2014whether they are mismatched, whether they are separated, divorced, or even a single mom\u2014because it\u2019s the message of: \u201cWe have the Creator of the universe backing us up.\u201d He\u2019s our partner in this, ultimately. But in that situation\u2014where Dad isn\u2019t part of that spiritual leadership\u2014it\u2019s very important that we, as the mom, step into that place. And we can do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t mean we have to stand into complete leadership of the home. And we\u2019re best not to do that. It\u2019s important that Dad still has that place of leadership in the home. But as far as our children are, spiritually, we need to step in and we need to be that leadership for them because we\u2014as you said before, Dennis\u2014we do have an assignment. It\u2019s very important because it\u2019s not just about us and our relationship with God\u2014it\u2019s also about the generations after us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The passing on your faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And Lynn, I want to ask you the question, in just a minute; but I want to come back to Dineen, at this point, and ask you, \u201cHow do you do that?\u201d because you are taking responsibility to lead your family, spiritually. How do you support him in his leadership of the family in other areas? How do you respect him in that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> By seeing that that\u2019s his place, whether it\u2019s a decision to be made in the family\u2014it\u2019s, \u201cWill we need to do this?\u201d Sometimes, even now, my girls will come and ask me a question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI say: \u201cWell, I think this; but let\u2019s talk to Dad about that and make sure that this is his desire for this, and that\u2019s what he wants to do to. It\u2019s important that we\u2019re all onboard here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the things you have to do to be able to do that is you have to be able to separate the biblical essentials\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014from some of your biblical preferences because there are things that you\u2019re going to have to say: \u201cWell, I would prefer it this way, <em>but<\/em> that\u2019s a personal conscience issue. I can\u2019t necessarily impose that on everybody else. So, I\u2019m going to have to learn to flex here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Illustrate what you\u2019re talking about, though, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, a biblical essential would be something like\u2014if your husband said: \u201cI don\u2019t want any praying in this house. I don\u2019t want anybody to pray and never talk to God at all.\u201d Okay, you can\u2019t agree with that; right?\u2014because God commands us to pray. God commands us to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Right. That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to follow Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you can pray silently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You could figure out ways that you can do that. This is what Daniel faced when the king said,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cEat this meat.\u201d Daniel said, \u201cI\u2019ve got to do what God says.\u201d He negotiated a deal; and Nebuchadnezzar said, \u201cOkay.\u201d So, there are ways we can learn from the shrewdness of a guy like Daniel in that situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it might be that your husband would say: \u201cYou know, I think it is okay for you guys to stay out until one on Sunday morning. You don\u2019t have to\u2014don\u2019t worry about your curfew. Stay out as late as you want.\u201d You\u2019re thinking: \u201cWell, they are not going to be ready for church the next day,\u201d and, \u201cThey\u2019re not going to be this,\u201d and, \u201cI wish it was this way.\u201d This is not a hill you can die on. This is where you have to say, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s what Dad said; and that\u2019s what you are going to be able to do.\u201d Am I right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That is correct. Yes. You have to\u2014I believe that\u2019s where your faith and your living out your faith in front of your children, every day, helps them to make good decisions when they are given opportunity that maybe you wouldn\u2019t want them to have. And being the spiritual leader of your home doesn\u2019t have to be: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLike in your face, Dad,\u201d or you\u2019re not quoting Scripture to them and saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to make this decision because of this.\u201d It\u2019s in you. You have God\u2019s Word in you. It\u2019s what you believe; and it comes out in every day conversation, especially with my husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, if we had conflict about different ideas, it comes down to love and honor. I mean, it goes both ways. My husband honors me and loves me, and I honor him and love him. We have conversation. And on a curfew kind of issue\u2014like you were talking about, Bob\u2014we would probably talk about that beforehand instead of him making a blanket statement. But I do know that that happens\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014and those are times where you go, \u201cOkay, I have to flex a little bit.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. So, Dad sits down at dinner and says: \u201cHey, kids! I\u2019ve got something fun for us to do. I got tickets to go to the haunted house for Halloween; huh?!\u201d The kids are going: \u201cCool! Alright! My friend at school said it was really cool.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you\u2019re just sitting there going, \u201cOh, man, the haunted house.\u201d What do you do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> There are times when you\u2019ve had to say, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m going.\u201d When they come back, frightened out of their mind\u2014\u201cWell, maybe, we don\u2019t want to do that again,\u201d and, \u201cSee,\u201d you know? and, \u201cDad\u2014maybe, that\u2019s a conversation you and I need to have next time.\u201d I know we have lived through that a million different times with decisions on how we make\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right; and I think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014with our husbands. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> \u2014yes, and I think also\u2014and I don\u2019t say this to take God out of the conversation, but we don\u2019t always have to make it a lecture. We don\u2019t have to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> \u2014make it a sermon. I think, when we\u2019re on the heart level, and we say, \u201cI understand that you want to give them this freedom, but I don\u2019t think this is good for our daughter or our son.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went through this with my youngest daughter. She\u2019s a very sensitive person\u2014even in a movie\u2014that the buildup of tension, through the music, would just send her behind a couch and hiding before anything happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe would easily have nightmares. So, I was able to say: \u201cYou know, I understand you want her to watch this with you; but remember, she\u2019s the one who has nightmares at night. She\u2019s very sensitive. This is just going to kind of wreck her world for a while. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s worth it,\u201d you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re not playing the God-card\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014every time there is a\u2014right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> I mean, there are times we do have to stand on moral ground; and we do need to stand on God\u2019s Word. I mean, that\u2019s important\u2014when we know what we know, and we know what is true, and we have to stand on that truth\u2014but I think it\u2019s important, too, that we help our spouse to understand the heart level and the big picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, so, the haunted house is a great illustration. We\u2019re going to move the cookies just a little bit lower on the shelf with this next question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> I feel like I\u2019m back in school. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Here comes the test!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, I just want to know how you\u2019d coach a woman to handle this because there has to be a woman, right now\u2014she\u2019s either in a marriage with a man like this or she\u2019s cohabiting\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tliving with a guy who is like this\u2014single-parent mom\u2014and the guy is bringing pornography into the home, on the screen, in front of the kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> That\u2019s bad! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, now, what are we talking about here? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That\u2019s a deal breaker. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That\u2019s crossed a boundary. From everything I have known about pornography in a marriage relationship\u2014any kind of relationship\u2014it is destructive. It is hurtful. We have hundreds of women that write to us, who are dealing with this in their marriage, right now. It is so brutal and destructive to the woman and her heart. Absolutely\u2014to put a child in that mix\u2014is a boundary that has been crossed. I would say: \u201cImmediately\u2014immediately\u2014you need to seek counsel to help you walk through this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if it was happening right in front of me\u2014for me and my home\u2014I would be the first person to go unplug the computer\u2014unplug it and say, \u201cWe need to have a talk, right now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. I think what both of you are illustrating here is a passage that we read earlier, from 1 Corinthians, Chapter 7, where it talks about how a believing wife sanctifies her home\u2014sanctifies her husband and her children. She sets them apart as holy. You can\u2019t drop your standard. Even as you respect your husband, you can respect him; but you don\u2019t have to embrace the sin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Well-said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to ask you guys about the discipling you\u2019ve done of your kids because I guess both of your husbands have been\u2014they\u2019ve been okay\u2014they\u2019ve said to you, \u201cI want my kids to be able to make their own choice when they get to be at the right age,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut they\u2019ve still let you spiritually train your kids, as they were growing up. You\u2019ve used the holidays to do that. In fact, you were talking about the fact that you\u2019ve used FamilyLife\u2019s Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> with your kids, as a discipleship tool; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Right; absolutely. My daughter <em>loved<\/em> that tool. It\u2019s one of the very simply ways to bring the resurrection story to a small child and tell it. It\u2019s non-threatening\u2014I mean, they are opening up little Easter eggs\u2014that have got little emblems of all of the resurrection week. Every year, we pull the Easter box down; and that\u2019s the first thing we would open up. What a beautiful moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just remember my daughter, as a young girl, opening these eggs, and the delight on her face, and we were telling the story of Jesus. She got to the very last egg, and she opens it up, and it\u2019s empty. Her little face looks up, like, \u201cWell, there\u2019s nothing in this egg.\u201d \u201cThe grave is empty!\u2014that\u2019s why the egg is empty.\u201d So, there are so many really fun, neat, little ways to share our faith, every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the Resurrection Eggs was one of them. In fact, I think I told you earlier, that she\u2019s 18 now. I got the eggs out the other day to look at them. She goes, \u201cOh, the Resurrection Eggs,\u201d and went to them and had to open them all up. Her girlfriend was there\u2014and, you know, teenagers opening up the eggs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProfound and very simple ways\u2014it\u2019s not, \u201cIn your face,\u201d to Dad. It\u2019s respectful. Those are stories that live with them, and they take them with them into their adult life, and they take their faith with them into their adult life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think we need to acknowledge, here, the fact that your kids have embraced Christ. There are a lot of moms, in a spiritually-mismatched marriage, who don\u2019t have that story. There is not a recipe you can pour into a bowl and mix up a believing child. And some moms have watched their kids embrace dad\u2019s values and dad\u2019s way of thinking\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and it\u2019s still breaking their hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> That happens. I think that happens in a matched marriage, too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur children\u2014we do our part; but in the end, it\u2019s still their choice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But here\u2019s the difference\u2014when Mom and Dad are on the same page\u2014Mom and Dad come together and pray for that child\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> True; very true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and want that child to come back to the faith; but now, here\u2019s the child going, \u201cI\u2019m going Dad\u2019s way,\u201d and Dad is going, \u201cGood for you.\u201d And Mom is alone\u2014isolated over there\u2014 going, \u201cI\u2019m the only one to do spiritual battle in the life of my child.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> I think they feel like that, but they\u2019re not alone; and we serve the great God of the universe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, wait, you said, \u201cNot alone.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> We are not alone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s the title of this book that you wrote about raising kids in a spiritually-mismatched marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Right. When we pray\u2014I mean, ordinary moms\u2014man, we can rattle the heavenlies;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014and we move God\u2019s heart for our kids. You know, I was a prodigal. My mom prayed for me for many years, and I\u2019m so glad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe prayed, \u201cGod, just don\u2019t let go of her.\u201d So, I don\u2019t care how old or how far gone you think your child is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, how old\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014there is always hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014how old were you when the spiritual lights finally came one? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> I was probably 27\/28 when I really\u2014and I remarried, actually, when I was 30. So, it was right after that that I really had a reawakening\u2014when God wooed me back home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Here\u2019s what I want to say to the woman who is in a marriage and it feels hopeless: \u201cIt\u2019s not all upon you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That\u2019s correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You just\u2014you don\u2019t realize\u2014maybe, the best thing you can do is to raise those kids to follow Christ. Maybe, God will touch their hearts and they will be a light on a hill. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDineen, your daughter had a bout with depression and also cancer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you\u2019re husband watched all this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Yes, he did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean talk about the practical application of faith against life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Yes, it doesn\u2019t get more real than that. We walked through it very differently. I\u2019ve had friends express their amazement that, that alone, wasn\u2019t enough to help my husband see the truth of God\u2019s presence in our lives and things that happened. I mean, there were outright miracles that happened through that process. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne story that is just my absolute favorite is in our book about\u2014of all things\u2014a video tape\/a movie that I was trying to find for my daughter. She was about to go through her big surgery to remove the tumor. She wanted to watch <em>Oliver &amp; Company<\/em>. This movie was not to be found. It was in the Disney vault at the time. The library at the Children\u2019s Hospital didn\u2019t have it. I finally located a copy of it from a friend at church. She brought it up the next day so we could have it ready for Leslie so she could watch it in her room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I kid you not\u2014as I went up to that player, it was a combo VHS\/DVD player. I had a DVD in my hand of <em>Oliver &amp; Company<\/em> and noticed there was a tape in this machine. I popped it out, and that VHS tape\u2014what do you think it was? It was <em>Oliver &amp; Company<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> And I turned around, speechless. I looked at my daughter. She\u2019s just sitting there with the biggest grin on her face. I asked her later, \u201cWhat does that tell you?\u201d \u201cThat tells me God\u2019s looking out for me.\u201d God does these things, and He is right there with us. We are not, by far, alone in this journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if I can also, again, bring home the point that\u2014one, we need community. Going to church, I know, is hard\u2014been there; done that\u2014when you have two little ones and you\u2019re doing it on your own\u2014but our churches need to step in and help fill the gap when we are there, as single moms and dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur churches need to step up and fill the gap. We don\u2019t all have to look alike. This is an opportunity\u2014partner with us. Help us raise our children to know Christ. We can do this together. We don\u2019t have to do it alone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Two things, in closing\u2014number one\u2014thank you all for having the courage to write this book. Thank your husbands on behalf of tens of thousands of listeners, who have benefitted from you going public on a real private matter, frankly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I recall the last time you ladies were here\u2014we concluded the broadcast with the following exhortation: \u201cIf you are in a spiritually-mismatched marriage, come to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>. Do what it takes to get your spouse to that conference to hear a fun, entertaining, romantic message for a weekend that could change his or her life\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthey\u2019re going to hear the gospel.<br><br>And for those Legacy Partners who support us\u2014you just need to kind of pump out your chest a bit and go: \u201cI\u2019m a part of that! I\u2019m a part of that ministry.\u201d We\u2019ll have somewhere between two and three thousand people, a year, receive Christ at these conferences. And I\u2019m convinced\u2014it is wives promising, dragging\u2014who knows how they get\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Respectfully dragging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014of course. [Laughter] Of course\u2014getting their husbands to the conference so they could hear a winsome presentation of how God designed Christian marriage to be. And in the process, meet the Redeemer\u2014the One who came to forgive sin, and give people a hope, and put the peace of God in individuals\u2019 lives, marriages, and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I\u2019d say: \u201cIf you are listening and you are in one of these marriages\u2014and you\u2019ve been identifying with these ladies\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand what\u2019s going on in their homes\u2014do what you have to do. Don\u2019t break any of God\u2019s laws; but get them there\u2014whatever the cost.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd thanks, again, ladies, for writing <em>Not Alone<\/em>. This is going to be used by a lot of people. I\u2019m convinced. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We do have information about the<em> Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com and still have several dozen of these events taking place this spring. So, if you\u2019d like to find out when a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is coming to a city near you, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have information about the resources we talked about earlier\u2014the Resurrection Eggs that you talked about, Lynn\u2014using those with your daughter, as she was growing up, and you were introducing\u00a0 to her the story of Easter\u2014and some of the resources that Barbara Rainey has created for families, around the holidays, as well. You can find out about those resources when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we have copies of the books that Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller have written. The one we\u2019ve been talking about today is called <em>Not Alone: Trusting God to Help You Raise Godly Kids in a Spiritually Mismatched Home<\/em>. Then, we also have the book we talked about, a while back, called <em>Winning Him Without Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order any of these resources we\u2019ve talked about when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we always hope that programs like today\u2019s program will be helpful to listeners\u2014whether you are in this situation yourself or whether you know somebody else who is. Our goal is to provide practical, biblical help for your marriage and for your family, day-in and day-out, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong><br><br>There is a team of folks who share that vision with us. They have a real heart to see this program continue to thrive and to be heard by more and more people\u2014not only here in the United States\u2014but now, around the world, via the internet and using the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> mobile app. These folks are folks we call our Legacy Partners. A Legacy Partner is somebody who makes a monthly contribution to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> to provide a solid, regular foundation to help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the truth is\u2014that while we\u2019ve got a great team of Legacy Partners\u2014honestly, we could use more. In fact, our team has been hoping and praying that this year we might hear from 1,000 people during the month of March\u2014that\u2019s about 20 in every state where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard\u20141,000 families who would step up and say: \u201cWe want to join with you. We think what <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is doing is important, and we\u2019ll help support the ministry with a monthly donation.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you would do that this month\u2014be one of the thousand to step forward\u2014we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you our Legacy Partner welcome kit. It\u2019s got some CDs and some other resources, along with the brand-new <em>Legacy Partner Family Cookbook<\/em>. I\u2019m pretty excited about this because it\u2019s got some recipes from Dennis and Barbara. It\u2019s got some recipes from Mary Ann and me. It\u2019s got some recipes from our staff; but most of the recipes come from listeners, like you\u2014Legacy Partners who have submitted recipes to be included in the cookbook. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d Find out about becoming a Legacy Partner; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say: \u201cI\u2019m interested. I\u2019d like our family to be one of the 1,000 that you\u2019re praying about this month.\u201d As soon as you do that, we\u2019ll get the welcome kit out to you, including the brand-new cookbook. Our toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. The website, again: FamilyLifeToday.com. Click on the button that says\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u201cI CARE,\u201d to sign on as a Legacy Partner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you will be back with us again tomorrow. We\u2019re going to meet a dad who checked out on his marriage and his family until God got a hold of him and brought a wake-up call. We\u2019ll hear from Brad Mathias tomorrow. We\u2019ll hear the story of how God put his family back together again. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302969","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302969"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302969"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302969"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302969"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302969"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302969"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302969"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}