{"id":302967,"date":"2014-03-11T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-03-11T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/respecting-the-differences\/"},"modified":"2014-03-11T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-03-11T15:00:00","slug":"respecting-the-differences","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/respecting-the-differences\/","title":{"rendered":"Respecting the Differences"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dineen Miller and Lynn Donovan tell how they&#8217;ve handled the expectations with unbelieving husbands and talk about other areas in their marriage where they share common ground with their husbands.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-11.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.19M","filesize_raw":"24320042","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2861],"tags":[4085],"podcast_series":[7999],"cwp_profile":[9283,3414],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302967","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritually-mismatched","tag-unequally-yoked","podcast_series-not-alone","cwp_profile-dineen-miller","cwp_profile-lynn-donovan","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302967\/respecting-the-differences","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302967\/respecting-the-differences","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"LsK9XJWnEZ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/respecting-the-differences\/\">Respecting the Differences<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/respecting-the-differences\/embed\/#?secret=LsK9XJWnEZ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Respecting the Differences&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"LsK9XJWnEZ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-11.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-11.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When a mom and a dad don\u2019t share the same spiritual convictions, there will come a time when their children will have to figure out whether they\u2019re going to side with mom or side with dad. So, what does a believing mom do on a Sunday morning when a teenage boy says, \u201cI\u2019m just going to stay home with Dad today\u201d? Here\u2019s counsel from Lynn Donovan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Don\u2019t panic. You have been feeding into these children. You have been living out your faith. If he\u2019s going to stay home with dad, you can\u2019t wrestle him into the car. I mean, he\u2019s a foot taller than you, at this point. You have to believe. This is where the faithfulness of God comes into our prayers. I absolutely believe in God\u2019s faithfulness. God assures us: \u201cDo your part, Mom. I am right behind you to do My part.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, March 11<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller join us today to talk about the challenges that a believing mom faces when she\u2019s trying to raise sons and daughters in a house where dad doesn\u2019t share her faith. We\u2019ll talk about those today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I think both of us, in our marriages, have faced some challenging assignments, as husbands, with our wives. But the reality is that I don\u2019t know that any assignment we have faced, as husbands, has been as challenging as the assignment that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your wife!\u2014that your wife was given? [Laughter] Is that where you were going, Bob? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is <em>not <\/em>where I was going! That\u2019s probably accurate, but it\u2019s not where I was going. [Laughter] I think you picked it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was going to say\u2014I don\u2019t think either of us has faced the kinds of challenges that our guests have faced, and are facing, on an ongoing basis\u2014the challenge of being in a spiritually-mismatched marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think you\u2019re right. Dineen Miller and Lynn Donovan join us again. Dineen, Lynn, welcome back to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Thank you. We\u2019re so glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You guys have conspired together to write a book about raising children in a spiritually-mismatched marriage. You got your husbands\u2019 permission to write this book, <em>Not Alone<\/em>, which, again, is about raising kids in a spiritually-mismatched home. You also had their permission to write another one\u2014that was about a spiritually-mismatched marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014which was called, <em>Winning Him Without Words<\/em>. You were, right there on the front, saying, \u201cHere\u2019s the goal.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, what is there unclear about that?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How did you two meet in the first place?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That\u2019s an interesting story. Several years ago, I came to this place where, in my marriage, I felt like God had healed so much of my challenges. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband and I had come through so much in our mismatched marriage. So, I started a blog\u2014a simple little blog\u2014where I thought, \u201cI\u2019m just going to write some stories to help other people who are on the path with me to thrive in our marriage.\u201d Out of that blog, Dineen was one of my original readers. It was on her heart to also write to encourage because there aren\u2019t many resources out there for people in marriages such as ours.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe joined forces and started writing. We wrote together, online. She lives in northern California\u2014I live in southern California. We never met, face to face, other than one time at a conference for two minutes. We wrote the entire book together. We finally met after the book was done, and we went to see our publisher. We have been best friends\/buddies. We cheer each other on. We pray for our husbands and our families. It\u2019s been one of those amazing God friendships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got to ask this question: \u201cHave your husbands ever met?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> No, they actually haven\u2019t. We\u2019ve met each other\u2019s husbands, but our husbands haven\u2019t met each other yet; no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That would be an interesting lunch to set up; don\u2019t you think? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> It sure would, and they\u2019re both named Mike. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> God has a wonderful sense of humor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes, He does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019ve mentioned already that the last time you guys were here, we talked about the marriage relationship. This time, we\u2019re talking about the challenge of trying to provide spiritual direction in a home when you\u2019re the only one pointing in that direction\u2014when your spouse is pointing in a different direction and saying, \u201cI think this is the way to go.\u201d\u2014and you\u2019re trying to raise sons and daughters to walk with Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Dineen, the interesting twist on this is you were raised by a single-parent mom. When you got married, you were looking forward\u2014when you did become a person of faith\u2014for two people to raise a child together\u2014for a husband and wife to raise them together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you did come alive, spiritually, did you have to reduce some of your expectations and some of what you were hoping for?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> I had to give <em>all <\/em>of my expectations over to God and trust Him to bring our marriage forward, from that point, because I really expected my husband to join me, at that point. When he didn\u2019t, everything had to\u2014I had to trust God to redefine my marriage, and He did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Give us an idea of some of the expectations you had to kind of lay aside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> I had to give up the expectation of seeing us both in church on Sundays\u2014like I saw so many other families together with their children. I had to give up the hope that he would be partnering with me to raise my children to know who Jesus was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to give up the expectation that we would grow in faith together, that we would serve God together, that we would do things together in the church, that we would be able to share how we were growing and learning because this is the most intimate part of ourselves. It is who we are\u2014our identity is in Christ. When you can\u2019t share that with the person you\u2019re supposed to love more than anybody in this world, it\u2019s very difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt becomes trust in God to rebuild the marriage and to find common ground in other places. We tell our readers often that, even if your husband were to come to faith that day, that doesn\u2019t mean everything\u2019s going to be fixed. There are still\u2014we\u2019re flawed human beings, and there are challenges we will face. When you\u2019re not matched, that becomes a challenge because you need to find common interest in other areas so you can stay close. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; I know the nature of this broadcast is kind of to pry a little bit. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if I\u2019m overstepping here, you can just kind of push back. Can you give us an idea of what is some of the common ground you have really sought to work hard on so that you and your husband have a piece of turf that you\u2019re both firmly planted on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Well, there are all different areas. One area that I\u2019ve tried to keep very common, of course, is our intimacy. The bedroom is very important. That\u2019s an area that I pray over and ask for God to bless so that I can be a blessing to my husband. I think that\u2019s an important area to be connected. There\u2019s no judgment in the bedroom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tExternally\u2014common interests\u2014my husband is a disc golf player. I support him in that. I\u2019ve gone and been his caddy in the past. I did that once for him as an anniversary present\u2014I toted his disc golf bag around for his tournament.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, wait a minute! How many different discs do you have in a disc golf bag?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Oh, gosh. Anywhere from 10 to 20, depending upon what your favorites are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Seriously?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> There are differences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> There are putters and there are long-distance discs. Trust me, there\u2019s a difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just figured that it was a Frisbee<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> that everyone was throwing!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> No! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I knew there were a couple\u2014but not 15-20! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Depending on how big the course is and what their goal is\u2014but, usually, a handful of favorites; but they like choices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> They like to have their choices. So, I\u2019m very intentional about being interested in what he\u2019s doing; and I release the expectation for him to be interested in what I\u2019m doing in my ministry and stuff like that. He\u2019s interested, to a point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s important because, if you\u2019re not careful\u2014if you continue to nag\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and everybody knows what nagging is\u2014it\u2019s like being nibbled to death by a duck; [Laughter] okay? It just irritates. It\u2019s terrible. You\u2019ve had to let that go and be silent about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Been there\u2014done that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You raised your hand, Lynn, when I talked about common turf to develop with your husband. How have you done it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Well, I agree with Dineen. We had to surrender some of our own expectations; but with Christ, we can do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the most fun things I\u2019ve ever done with my husband\u2014to connect with him and have some commonality\u2014is I learned to play Fantasy Football. So, on Sunday mornings, I go to church; he warms up the laptops. [Laughter] We have teams, and we cheer for our team. We tease each other about what our scores are. Did I know anything about Fantasy Football? No! But I learned. I have more fun, now, than he does\u2014I think\u2014in Fantasy Football!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you beat him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> I do. [Laughter] I won the whole league the second year I was in it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No kidding!?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That didn\u2019t go over well. [Laughter] But we have so much fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> You have to tell them the name of your team.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Oh, my team\u2019s name is called \u201cThe Pink Princesses.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just have so much fun!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Was it a male league?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Well, there were men and women from our neighborhood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cThe Pink Princesses\u201d team\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014took it all!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> We did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Way to go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> It was so much fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Nice work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> It\u2019s being intentional. The Lord puts that in us\u2014you can reach out\u2014make effort to connect with your husband. Don\u2019t isolate him. He feels threatened by this new man in our life, often. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had one of our readers, who said, \u201cI would like to go find this Jesus and punch Him in the face so He would stay away from you,\u201d because he was so threatened by her faith and the changes that were happening. If we just love them and invite them in\u2014in other ways\u2014there are a million and one ways. Go spend time with them if they go into the garage. You know, there are many things we can do to connect with them and make them feel loved and appreciated\u2014that\u2019s loving them through the power of Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> It\u2019s so beautiful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to ask you both\u2014as you raise kids\u2014you are governed, in your life, by God\u2019s Word. So, if God says, \u201cThis is right,\u201d you say, \u201cOkay.\u201d If God says, \u201cThis is wrong,\u201d you say, \u201cOkay.\u201d Even if you want to do it, you say, \u201cNo,\u201d because God says it\u2019s wrong. Even if you don\u2019t want to do it\u2014you understand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour husbands don\u2019t have that same kind governing. They\u2019re governing their lives by what seems best to them. As unbelievers\u2014just make a decision based on what seems right to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo now, here come your kids; and you\u2019re trying to raise your kids. I know you do have some common values; but I also know there are some places where your values\u2014there are things you go: \u201cI just think this is wrong. God\u2019s Word tells me this is wrong.\u201d Your husband says, \u201cWell, that\u2019s wrong for you, but it\u2019s not wrong for me.\u201d Then, you have to raise the kids in that kind of a situation. Has that been a reality for you?\u2014something you\u2019ve had to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat jumps to my mind, immediately, is media. How do you walk your child through media when Dad doesn\u2019t see a problem with watching this or seeing that? It\u2019s okay with him. I\u2019ll tell you\u2014I\u2019ve had lots of conversations with my husband, saying, \u201cI don\u2019t feel good about this program.\u201d I would tell my daughter, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to watch this program.\u201d I don\u2019t think it\u2019s, \u201cDo it because I say so!\u201d I gave her really valid reasons. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe\u2014I kind of stumbled through that\u2014through raising her\u2014but now she\u2019s very set about what she\u2019ll let into her life, and what she watches, and the choices that she makes in media. It was never like shaming her father in front of her. It was, with love and respect: \u201cYou know, Daddy doesn\u2019t know Jesus yet; but I absolutely believe he will one day. We\u2019re just going to pray for Daddy.\u201d You know, do it in a very kind way. We\u2019re not going to pray for him because he\u2019s a bad person\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cWe love Daddy. We want him to know Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The ages of your children, Dineen, are?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Currently, they are 24 and 20. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; and yours, Lynn?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> My son is 31, and my daughter is 18. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Alright, so, for all practical purposes, you\u2019ve made it through the teenage years\u201418\u2014that\u2019s about done there. Did it ever occur\u2014in those teen years\u2014where the card was played: \u201cWell, Mom, Dad doesn\u2019t believe that\u2014Dad doesn\u2019t do that,\u201d\u2014and pit you two against each another? I mean, my mom and dad were singing off the same song sheet; and I remember, growing up, pitting them against each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would think a child, growing up in a spiritually-mismatched family, would find a way to drive a wedge and maybe exploit it. Did that ever occur in either of your families?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> For me, personally, no. That did not happen, but I do know that that is a common issue. It tends to be more toward teenage boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI see that moms will write us or email us\u2014you know, he\u2019s 15 or 16\u2014and she comes out in the living room and says to little Johnny\u2014or, now, tall Johnny\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Big Johnny, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014 \u201cWhy aren\u2019t you ready for church?\u201d \u201cWell, Dad\u2019s staying home to watch football. I\u2019m going to stay home and watch football with Dad.\u201d Dad chimes in: \u201cGive the kid a break! Let him stay home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost mothers panic, at that moment. I say: \u201cDon\u2019t panic. You have been feeding into these children. You have been living out your faith. This is where the faithfulness of God comes into our prayers. God assures us: \u2018Do your part, Mom. I am right behind you to do My part.\u2019 You have poured into them all of their lives. You have taught them with love, and kindness, and joy. You have made Jesus the center and the happiness of your life. That\u2019s attractive to them\u2014they will come back to it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen: <\/strong>Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to give both of you an interesting assignment right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There has to be a husband, listening to our broadcast\u2014maybe, he was just channel surfing on the radio or on his phone. Somehow, it got downloaded\u2014who knows how\u2014but he stumbled onto this broadcast. He\u2019s on the outside, spiritually-speaking\u2014looking in at his wife and the kids\u2014as she\u2019s attempting to do well what you two did, for all practical purposes. I\u2019m going to give each of you two minutes with this guy. [Laughter] What would you say to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good question. I think I would say to him\u2014to understand his wife\u2019s heart and to understand that her motivation is by no means for herself. Her heart is for her family to know a hope and a future in our Creator. We\u2019re not perfect, but our heart is the love of Christ. That\u2019s the love that we want to share. Sometimes, we don\u2019t do it quite right; but our motivation is always because we are so profoundly loved. The cross is just that representation that the Son of God gave His life up for us. He was willing in it. If it was just one person, He still would have done it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s such a profound love and that\u2019s what\u2019s at the heart of it. It\u2019s not a judgment. It\u2019s not trying to make him feel in any way less. It\u2019s because\u2014it\u2019s desperation in realizing that, because we are so loved\u2014so loved\u00a0 by God\u2014we want that person we love so much to know how much they are loved, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> I would say something very different [Laughter] but the same. I would look at him, straight in the face and say: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry because, sometimes, we just go overboard. So, for all the times we try to pressure you, or manipulate you, or we hurt your feelings, or we leave you out, \u2018I\u2019m sorry.\u2019 We love this God so much that we want you to know what it feels like;\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut we\u2019re messed up people, and wives, and we don\u2019t always go about it in the best way. So, we ask for your grace \/ your forgiveness. Know that we love you. We will never leave you or forsake you because we are never left or forsaken.\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBe patient. Have a sense of humor.\u201d Then, I would wrap my arms around him and say, \u201cThank you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cThank you for putting up with the mistakes;\u201d right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Interesting. And here\u2019s what I would say to him\u2014or if it\u2019s a woman, who\u2019s in a spiritually-mismatched marriage, and it\u2019s the guy who is a believer\u2014I would say: \u201cFor all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We are justified by His grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.\u201d Then I would say, \u201cWhy wait another day?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Amen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Crying] \u201cWhy wait another day of being on the outside?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cYour family needs you. Get on your knees\u2014receive the gift that results in forgiveness of sin, and eternal life, and get on with the program\u2014God\u2019s program\u2014because you are missing life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Oh, yes\u2014the abundant life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I remember watching a documentary\u2014that was shot a few years back\u2014where a pastor from Idaho was in a series of debates with a prominent atheist. They were going from city to city, doing their debating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis documentary had the behind-the-scenes discussion that went on between the pastor and the atheist. So, it wasn\u2019t just their public presentation. It was their private dialogue that you got to see a little bit of. Of course, they knew the cameras were on\u2014so I don\u2019t know how private it was\u2014but one of the comments that the prominent atheist made, near the end of the film\u2014that was very interesting\u2014he said, \u201cYou know, if I was to win the argument and convince everybody that my way is right,\u201d\u2014he said\u2014\u201cI\u2019m not sure I\u2019d want to live in a world where everybody believed what I believe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I have to think\u2014I have to think your husbands would think, \u201cI\u2019m not sure I\u2019d want to be married to somebody who doesn\u2019t have the convictions and the values you have.\u201d Even though they haven\u2019t embraced them for themselves, they have to admire, and respect, and be grateful for how your kids have turned out\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The peace that results in the home where you\u2019ve got someone who has humility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes! They look around at marriages that are having a hard time; and they have to go: \u201cI\u2019m a lucky man to be married to the woman I\u2019m married to. I may not think Jesus had anything to do with that,\u201d\u2014you guys know He did; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But I think they have to recognize that they have been blessed because they married godly women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to let our listeners know\u2014we\u2019ve got copies of the books that Lynn and Dineen have written. Both of these books are in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. We have the book we\u2019ve been talking about today, which is called <em>Not Alone<\/em>, about raising godly kids in a spiritually-mismatched home. And we have <em>Winning Him without Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can request copies of either or both of these books when you go to our website, which is FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order these books from us, online, or you can order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me just take a minute and talk to those of you who are regular <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners. You\u2019ve been tuned in for a while and you, undoubtedly, by this point, know that <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is listener-supported. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is folks, like you, who make this daily program possible by helping us cover the costs for producing and syndicating a daily radio program like <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. What you may not know is that the foundation of that support for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>comes from our Legacy Partners. These are families, all across the country, who have said: \u201c<em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is important for our family. We think it\u2019s important in our community. We want other husbands and wives\u2014and moms and dads\u2014to be able to hear this program \/ and tune in and listen. We\u2019ll provide some monthly financial help so that <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>can cover the costs of producing this radio program.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who are Legacy Partners. During the month of March, we are hoping and praying that we might add 1,000 new Legacy Partners to strengthen the financial foundation for this program. That sounds like a lot of people, but it\u2019s actually about 20 families in each state where <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is heard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, would you stop and consider that? Would you pray about whether or not you and your family should join in, as brand-new Legacy Partners? If you do decide to become a Legacy Partner, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you our Legacy Partner welcome kit that includes a couple of CDs with some favorite programs from <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, the <em>Coffee Dates for Couples<\/em> book that\u2019s got some great date ideas, and the brand-new <em>Legacy Partner Cookbook<\/em>. We\u2019ve put together some recipes\u2014some from Dennis and Barbara, some from Mary Ann and me, some from our staff, and a lot of recipes from Legacy Partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll pass the cookbook along to you, along with the rest of these resources in our welcome kit, when you become a new Legacy Partner. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d You can sign up as a Legacy Partner, online. Or call1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m interested in becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d We\u2019ll get you all set up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for prayerfully considering this opportunity. We hope you\u2019ll join with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you\u2019ll be here again tomorrow when we\u2019ll continue our conversation with Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller. We\u2019re going to talk tomorrow about the whole issue of Christian schools because I know one of you\u2014you guys did not see, eye to eye, on the Christian school thing. I think you were the one who had to surrender on that one. We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. I hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. 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Miller and Lynn Donovan tell how they've handled the expectations with unbelieving husbands and talk about other areas in their marriage where they share common ground with their husbands.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-03-11.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When a mom and a dad don\u2019t share the same spiritual convictions, there will come a time when their children will have to figure out whether they\u2019re going to side with mom or side with dad. So, what does a believing mom do on a Sunday morning when a teenage boy says, \u201cI\u2019m just going to stay home with Dad today\u201d? Here\u2019s counsel from Lynn Donovan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Don\u2019t panic. You have been feeding into these children. You have been living out your faith. If he\u2019s going to stay home with dad, you can\u2019t wrestle him into the car. I mean, he\u2019s a foot taller than you, at this point. You have to believe. This is where the faithfulness of God comes into our prayers. I absolutely believe in God\u2019s faithfulness. God assures us: \u201cDo your part, Mom. I am right behind you to do My part.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, March 11<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller join us today to talk about the challenges that a believing mom faces when she\u2019s trying to raise sons and daughters in a house where dad doesn\u2019t share her faith. We\u2019ll talk about those today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I think both of us, in our marriages, have faced some challenging assignments, as husbands, with our wives. But the reality is that I don\u2019t know that any assignment we have faced, as husbands, has been as challenging as the assignment that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your wife!\u2014that your wife was given? [Laughter] Is that where you were going, Bob? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is <em>not <\/em>where I was going! That\u2019s probably accurate, but it\u2019s not where I was going. [Laughter] I think you picked it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was going to say\u2014I don\u2019t think either of us has faced the kinds of challenges that our guests have faced, and are facing, on an ongoing basis\u2014the challenge of being in a spiritually-mismatched marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think you\u2019re right. Dineen Miller and Lynn Donovan join us again. Dineen, Lynn, welcome back to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Thank you. We\u2019re so glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You guys have conspired together to write a book about raising children in a spiritually-mismatched marriage. You got your husbands\u2019 permission to write this book, <em>Not Alone<\/em>, which, again, is about raising kids in a spiritually-mismatched home. You also had their permission to write another one\u2014that was about a spiritually-mismatched marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014which was called, <em>Winning Him Without Words<\/em>. You were, right there on the front, saying, \u201cHere\u2019s the goal.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, what is there unclear about that?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How did you two meet in the first place?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That\u2019s an interesting story. Several years ago, I came to this place where, in my marriage, I felt like God had healed so much of my challenges. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband and I had come through so much in our mismatched marriage. So, I started a blog\u2014a simple little blog\u2014where I thought, \u201cI\u2019m just going to write some stories to help other people who are on the path with me to thrive in our marriage.\u201d Out of that blog, Dineen was one of my original readers. It was on her heart to also write to encourage because there aren\u2019t many resources out there for people in marriages such as ours.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe joined forces and started writing. We wrote together, online. She lives in northern California\u2014I live in southern California. We never met, face to face, other than one time at a conference for two minutes. We wrote the entire book together. We finally met after the book was done, and we went to see our publisher. We have been best friends\/buddies. We cheer each other on. We pray for our husbands and our families. It\u2019s been one of those amazing God friendships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got to ask this question: \u201cHave your husbands ever met?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> No, they actually haven\u2019t. We\u2019ve met each other\u2019s husbands, but our husbands haven\u2019t met each other yet; no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That would be an interesting lunch to set up; don\u2019t you think? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> It sure would, and they\u2019re both named Mike. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> God has a wonderful sense of humor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes, He does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019ve mentioned already that the last time you guys were here, we talked about the marriage relationship. This time, we\u2019re talking about the challenge of trying to provide spiritual direction in a home when you\u2019re the only one pointing in that direction\u2014when your spouse is pointing in a different direction and saying, \u201cI think this is the way to go.\u201d\u2014and you\u2019re trying to raise sons and daughters to walk with Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Dineen, the interesting twist on this is you were raised by a single-parent mom. When you got married, you were looking forward\u2014when you did become a person of faith\u2014for two people to raise a child together\u2014for a husband and wife to raise them together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you did come alive, spiritually, did you have to reduce some of your expectations and some of what you were hoping for?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> I had to give <em>all <\/em>of my expectations over to God and trust Him to bring our marriage forward, from that point, because I really expected my husband to join me, at that point. When he didn\u2019t, everything had to\u2014I had to trust God to redefine my marriage, and He did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Give us an idea of some of the expectations you had to kind of lay aside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> I had to give up the expectation of seeing us both in church on Sundays\u2014like I saw so many other families together with their children. I had to give up the hope that he would be partnering with me to raise my children to know who Jesus was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to give up the expectation that we would grow in faith together, that we would serve God together, that we would do things together in the church, that we would be able to share how we were growing and learning because this is the most intimate part of ourselves. It is who we are\u2014our identity is in Christ. When you can\u2019t share that with the person you\u2019re supposed to love more than anybody in this world, it\u2019s very difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt becomes trust in God to rebuild the marriage and to find common ground in other places. We tell our readers often that, even if your husband were to come to faith that day, that doesn\u2019t mean everything\u2019s going to be fixed. There are still\u2014we\u2019re flawed human beings, and there are challenges we will face. When you\u2019re not matched, that becomes a challenge because you need to find common interest in other areas so you can stay close. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; I know the nature of this broadcast is kind of to pry a little bit. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if I\u2019m overstepping here, you can just kind of push back. Can you give us an idea of what is some of the common ground you have really sought to work hard on so that you and your husband have a piece of turf that you\u2019re both firmly planted on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Well, there are all different areas. One area that I\u2019ve tried to keep very common, of course, is our intimacy. The bedroom is very important. That\u2019s an area that I pray over and ask for God to bless so that I can be a blessing to my husband. I think that\u2019s an important area to be connected. There\u2019s no judgment in the bedroom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tExternally\u2014common interests\u2014my husband is a disc golf player. I support him in that. I\u2019ve gone and been his caddy in the past. I did that once for him as an anniversary present\u2014I toted his disc golf bag around for his tournament.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, wait a minute! How many different discs do you have in a disc golf bag?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Oh, gosh. Anywhere from 10 to 20, depending upon what your favorites are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Seriously?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> There are differences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> There are putters and there are long-distance discs. Trust me, there\u2019s a difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just figured that it was a Frisbee<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> that everyone was throwing!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> No! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I knew there were a couple\u2014but not 15-20! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Depending on how big the course is and what their goal is\u2014but, usually, a handful of favorites; but they like choices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> They like to have their choices. So, I\u2019m very intentional about being interested in what he\u2019s doing; and I release the expectation for him to be interested in what I\u2019m doing in my ministry and stuff like that. He\u2019s interested, to a point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s important because, if you\u2019re not careful\u2014if you continue to nag\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and everybody knows what nagging is\u2014it\u2019s like being nibbled to death by a duck; [Laughter] okay? It just irritates. It\u2019s terrible. You\u2019ve had to let that go and be silent about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Been there\u2014done that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You raised your hand, Lynn, when I talked about common turf to develop with your husband. How have you done it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Well, I agree with Dineen. We had to surrender some of our own expectations; but with Christ, we can do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the most fun things I\u2019ve ever done with my husband\u2014to connect with him and have some commonality\u2014is I learned to play Fantasy Football. So, on Sunday mornings, I go to church; he warms up the laptops. [Laughter] We have teams, and we cheer for our team. We tease each other about what our scores are. Did I know anything about Fantasy Football? No! But I learned. I have more fun, now, than he does\u2014I think\u2014in Fantasy Football!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you beat him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> I do. [Laughter] I won the whole league the second year I was in it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No kidding!?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> That didn\u2019t go over well. [Laughter] But we have so much fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> You have to tell them the name of your team.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Oh, my team\u2019s name is called \u201cThe Pink Princesses.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just have so much fun!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Was it a male league?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Well, there were men and women from our neighborhood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cThe Pink Princesses\u201d team\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014took it all!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> We did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Way to go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> It was so much fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Nice work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> It\u2019s being intentional. The Lord puts that in us\u2014you can reach out\u2014make effort to connect with your husband. Don\u2019t isolate him. He feels threatened by this new man in our life, often. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had one of our readers, who said, \u201cI would like to go find this Jesus and punch Him in the face so He would stay away from you,\u201d because he was so threatened by her faith and the changes that were happening. If we just love them and invite them in\u2014in other ways\u2014there are a million and one ways. Go spend time with them if they go into the garage. You know, there are many things we can do to connect with them and make them feel loved and appreciated\u2014that\u2019s loving them through the power of Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> It\u2019s so beautiful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to ask you both\u2014as you raise kids\u2014you are governed, in your life, by God\u2019s Word. So, if God says, \u201cThis is right,\u201d you say, \u201cOkay.\u201d If God says, \u201cThis is wrong,\u201d you say, \u201cOkay.\u201d Even if you want to do it, you say, \u201cNo,\u201d because God says it\u2019s wrong. Even if you don\u2019t want to do it\u2014you understand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour husbands don\u2019t have that same kind governing. They\u2019re governing their lives by what seems best to them. As unbelievers\u2014just make a decision based on what seems right to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo now, here come your kids; and you\u2019re trying to raise your kids. I know you do have some common values; but I also know there are some places where your values\u2014there are things you go: \u201cI just think this is wrong. God\u2019s Word tells me this is wrong.\u201d Your husband says, \u201cWell, that\u2019s wrong for you, but it\u2019s not wrong for me.\u201d Then, you have to raise the kids in that kind of a situation. Has that been a reality for you?\u2014something you\u2019ve had to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat jumps to my mind, immediately, is media. How do you walk your child through media when Dad doesn\u2019t see a problem with watching this or seeing that? It\u2019s okay with him. I\u2019ll tell you\u2014I\u2019ve had lots of conversations with my husband, saying, \u201cI don\u2019t feel good about this program.\u201d I would tell my daughter, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to watch this program.\u201d I don\u2019t think it\u2019s, \u201cDo it because I say so!\u201d I gave her really valid reasons. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe\u2014I kind of stumbled through that\u2014through raising her\u2014but now she\u2019s very set about what she\u2019ll let into her life, and what she watches, and the choices that she makes in media. It was never like shaming her father in front of her. It was, with love and respect: \u201cYou know, Daddy doesn\u2019t know Jesus yet; but I absolutely believe he will one day. We\u2019re just going to pray for Daddy.\u201d You know, do it in a very kind way. We\u2019re not going to pray for him because he\u2019s a bad person\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cWe love Daddy. We want him to know Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The ages of your children, Dineen, are?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Currently, they are 24 and 20. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; and yours, Lynn?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> My son is 31, and my daughter is 18. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Alright, so, for all practical purposes, you\u2019ve made it through the teenage years\u201418\u2014that\u2019s about done there. Did it ever occur\u2014in those teen years\u2014where the card was played: \u201cWell, Mom, Dad doesn\u2019t believe that\u2014Dad doesn\u2019t do that,\u201d\u2014and pit you two against each another? I mean, my mom and dad were singing off the same song sheet; and I remember, growing up, pitting them against each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would think a child, growing up in a spiritually-mismatched family, would find a way to drive a wedge and maybe exploit it. Did that ever occur in either of your families?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> For me, personally, no. That did not happen, but I do know that that is a common issue. It tends to be more toward teenage boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI see that moms will write us or email us\u2014you know, he\u2019s 15 or 16\u2014and she comes out in the living room and says to little Johnny\u2014or, now, tall Johnny\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Big Johnny, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014 \u201cWhy aren\u2019t you ready for church?\u201d \u201cWell, Dad\u2019s staying home to watch football. I\u2019m going to stay home and watch football with Dad.\u201d Dad chimes in: \u201cGive the kid a break! Let him stay home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost mothers panic, at that moment. I say: \u201cDon\u2019t panic. You have been feeding into these children. You have been living out your faith. This is where the faithfulness of God comes into our prayers. God assures us: \u2018Do your part, Mom. I am right behind you to do My part.\u2019 You have poured into them all of their lives. You have taught them with love, and kindness, and joy. You have made Jesus the center and the happiness of your life. That\u2019s attractive to them\u2014they will come back to it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen: <\/strong>Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to give both of you an interesting assignment right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There has to be a husband, listening to our broadcast\u2014maybe, he was just channel surfing on the radio or on his phone. Somehow, it got downloaded\u2014who knows how\u2014but he stumbled onto this broadcast. He\u2019s on the outside, spiritually-speaking\u2014looking in at his wife and the kids\u2014as she\u2019s attempting to do well what you two did, for all practical purposes. I\u2019m going to give each of you two minutes with this guy. [Laughter] What would you say to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good question. I think I would say to him\u2014to understand his wife\u2019s heart and to understand that her motivation is by no means for herself. Her heart is for her family to know a hope and a future in our Creator. We\u2019re not perfect, but our heart is the love of Christ. That\u2019s the love that we want to share. Sometimes, we don\u2019t do it quite right; but our motivation is always because we are so profoundly loved. The cross is just that representation that the Son of God gave His life up for us. He was willing in it. If it was just one person, He still would have done it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s such a profound love and that\u2019s what\u2019s at the heart of it. It\u2019s not a judgment. It\u2019s not trying to make him feel in any way less. It\u2019s because\u2014it\u2019s desperation in realizing that, because we are so loved\u2014so loved\u00a0 by God\u2014we want that person we love so much to know how much they are loved, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> I would say something very different [Laughter] but the same. I would look at him, straight in the face and say: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry because, sometimes, we just go overboard. So, for all the times we try to pressure you, or manipulate you, or we hurt your feelings, or we leave you out, \u2018I\u2019m sorry.\u2019 We love this God so much that we want you to know what it feels like;\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut we\u2019re messed up people, and wives, and we don\u2019t always go about it in the best way. So, we ask for your grace \/ your forgiveness. Know that we love you. We will never leave you or forsake you because we are never left or forsaken.\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBe patient. Have a sense of humor.\u201d Then, I would wrap my arms around him and say, \u201cThank you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cThank you for putting up with the mistakes;\u201d right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Interesting. And here\u2019s what I would say to him\u2014or if it\u2019s a woman, who\u2019s in a spiritually-mismatched marriage, and it\u2019s the guy who is a believer\u2014I would say: \u201cFor all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We are justified by His grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.\u201d Then I would say, \u201cWhy wait another day?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Amen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Crying] \u201cWhy wait another day of being on the outside?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cYour family needs you. Get on your knees\u2014receive the gift that results in forgiveness of sin, and eternal life, and get on with the program\u2014God\u2019s program\u2014because you are missing life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Oh, yes\u2014the abundant life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I remember watching a documentary\u2014that was shot a few years back\u2014where a pastor from Idaho was in a series of debates with a prominent atheist. They were going from city to city, doing their debating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis documentary had the behind-the-scenes discussion that went on between the pastor and the atheist. So, it wasn\u2019t just their public presentation. It was their private dialogue that you got to see a little bit of. Of course, they knew the cameras were on\u2014so I don\u2019t know how private it was\u2014but one of the comments that the prominent atheist made, near the end of the film\u2014that was very interesting\u2014he said, \u201cYou know, if I was to win the argument and convince everybody that my way is right,\u201d\u2014he said\u2014\u201cI\u2019m not sure I\u2019d want to live in a world where everybody believed what I believe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I have to think\u2014I have to think your husbands would think, \u201cI\u2019m not sure I\u2019d want to be married to somebody who doesn\u2019t have the convictions and the values you have.\u201d Even though they haven\u2019t embraced them for themselves, they have to admire, and respect, and be grateful for how your kids have turned out\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The peace that results in the home where you\u2019ve got someone who has humility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes! They look around at marriages that are having a hard time; and they have to go: \u201cI\u2019m a lucky man to be married to the woman I\u2019m married to. I may not think Jesus had anything to do with that,\u201d\u2014you guys know He did; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But I think they have to recognize that they have been blessed because they married godly women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to let our listeners know\u2014we\u2019ve got copies of the books that Lynn and Dineen have written. Both of these books are in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. We have the book we\u2019ve been talking about today, which is called <em>Not Alone<\/em>, about raising godly kids in a spiritually-mismatched home. And we have <em>Winning Him without Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can request copies of either or both of these books when you go to our website, which is FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order these books from us, online, or you can order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me just take a minute and talk to those of you who are regular <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners. You\u2019ve been tuned in for a while and you, undoubtedly, by this point, know that <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is listener-supported. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is folks, like you, who make this daily program possible by helping us cover the costs for producing and syndicating a daily radio program like <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. What you may not know is that the foundation of that support for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>comes from our Legacy Partners. These are families, all across the country, who have said: \u201c<em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is important for our family. We think it\u2019s important in our community. We want other husbands and wives\u2014and moms and dads\u2014to be able to hear this program \/ and tune in and listen. We\u2019ll provide some monthly financial help so that <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>can cover the costs of producing this radio program.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who are Legacy Partners. During the month of March, we are hoping and praying that we might add 1,000 new Legacy Partners to strengthen the financial foundation for this program. That sounds like a lot of people, but it\u2019s actually about 20 families in each state where <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is heard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, would you stop and consider that? Would you pray about whether or not you and your family should join in, as brand-new Legacy Partners? If you do decide to become a Legacy Partner, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you our Legacy Partner welcome kit that includes a couple of CDs with some favorite programs from <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, the <em>Coffee Dates for Couples<\/em> book that\u2019s got some great date ideas, and the brand-new <em>Legacy Partner Cookbook<\/em>. We\u2019ve put together some recipes\u2014some from Dennis and Barbara, some from Mary Ann and me, some from our staff, and a lot of recipes from Legacy Partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll pass the cookbook along to you, along with the rest of these resources in our welcome kit, when you become a new Legacy Partner. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d You can sign up as a Legacy Partner, online. Or call1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m interested in becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d We\u2019ll get you all set up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for prayerfully considering this opportunity. We hope you\u2019ll join with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you\u2019ll be here again tomorrow when we\u2019ll continue our conversation with Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller. We\u2019re going to talk tomorrow about the whole issue of Christian schools because I know one of you\u2014you guys did not see, eye to eye, on the Christian school thing. I think you were the one who had to surrender on that one. We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. I hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. 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