{"id":302926,"date":"2014-02-05T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-02-05T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/gods-extravagant-love\/"},"modified":"2014-02-05T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-02-05T17:00:00","slug":"gods-extravagant-love","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gods-extravagant-love\/","title":{"rendered":"God&#8217;s Extravagant Love"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Film producers Stephen and Alex Kendrick challenge parents through their new book, &#8220;The Love Dare for Parents,&#8221; to parent with purpose for 40 days, taking each day to intentionally love their children with the love of God.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-02-05.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.52M","filesize_raw":"23615753","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2834,2806],"tags":[5331,5330,4634,4213,4271],"podcast_series":[7204],"cwp_profile":[8818,3104],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302926","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-praying-for-your-children","category-spiritual-development","tag-apology","tag-forgive","tag-grace","tag-love","tag-sin","podcast_series-the-love-dare-for-parents","cwp_profile-alex-kendrick","cwp_profile-stephen-kendrick","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302926\/gods-extravagant-love","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302926\/gods-extravagant-love","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"5D3oeiqLNy\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gods-extravagant-love\/\">God&#8217;s Extravagant Love<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gods-extravagant-love\/embed\/#?secret=5D3oeiqLNy\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;God&#8217;s Extravagant Love&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"5D3oeiqLNy\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-02-05.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-02-05.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, February 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Stephen and Alex Kendrick join us today with a dare. They want all of us to do a better job of loving our children. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I think all of us have had those grocery-store moments, where we are walking through the grocery store and you see a parent and a child interacting in the grocery store\u2014and the child, maybe, misbehaving\u2014the parents are misbehaving just as badly as the child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You just wonder when you see that\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cIf that\u2019s happening out here,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwhat\u2019s happening at home, in private, where no one can see?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was talking to a friend, recently, who was describing a scene\u2014where a child was sitting, and appeared to be minding her own business, and was humming. The mother started cursing at the child: \u201cWhy are you always making so much noise? Get away from me.\u201d You just think, \u201cWhat\u2019s going to be the impact of that, in the heart of a child, as that child grows to adulthood?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And as parents, there are those momentary situations where you may be tempted to lose control or lose your temper. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s where the Scriptures, I think, call us to surrender ourselves and our emotions and bring them, really, before the Lord and ask Him to empower us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there are also those times, with our children, when they aren\u2019t obeying us, over a period of time. We\u2019re putting up with, maybe, a five-year-old who is lying, repeatedly over a period of months, or he or she is stealing\u2014or they may grow into\u2014the elementary years, junior high, and high school\u2014where the issues become larger. When we\u2019re going through that, I think we need spiritual guard rails to make sure we don\u2019t run off the road, as parents, and we stand firm and head in the right direction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019ve got a couple of guys with us, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, who I <em>know<\/em> agree with me because they\u2019ve written a book called <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>. Stephen and Alex Kendrick join us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Good to see you. Glad to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You guys have made films. You\u2019ve written books, but you also are parents. I\u2019m just wondering, \u201cHas there ever been a period\u2014with one of your children or, maybe, multiple children\u2014where you thought, \u2018Man, I need somebody to come, and put their arm around me, and give me a little guidance here\u2019?\u201d Ever been there? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> I think all the time! [Laughter] We\u2019re all needing mentorship. We\u2019re all needing to pass it on\u2014what the Lord is teaching us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, you\u2019ve put this book together to be able to mentor, and coach, and encourage parents around, really, 40 days that challenge parents with a dare, each day, that\u2019s anchored in Scripture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s one that really goes to the heart of the issue with a child? Maybe, they are not a prodigal\u2014as in having left the house and away from the home\u2014but they\u2019re what Barbara and I referred to, as we wrote a book called <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em>\u2014that is an in-house prodigal\u2014maybe, a child who is just not doing well\u2014 maybe, they are five years old; maybe, they are nine; maybe, they are thirteen \/ eighteen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s one of these dares that you would point parents to\u2014to address one of those issues? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Well, we cannot reach into anyone\u2019s heart and change it. One of the days we talk about influencing your kids and creating a river of influence\u2014of good books, good mentors, good movies, good music\u2014in their lives and getting them out of the stream of this world. One of the days we talk about modeling the Way in the home; but the other one is we put a prayer strategy in the book because, ultimately, the Lord is the one who changes the heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> And so, in the book and in the appendix, we talk about praying very strategically for your children\u2014praying that God would draw them to Christ, at an early age\u2014praying that God would cause them to fear the Lord, and hate evil, and love what is good\u2014that God would surround them with good friendships and cause them to discern what is right and wrong in those situations. But the Bible communicates, multiple times, that the king\u2019s heart is in the hand of the Lord; but He could also open up Lydia\u2019s heart, in Acts, to the gospel. He can do the same thing with our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alex, if a dad came to you; and he said: \u201cI just feel like I\u2019ve lost my son. He\u2019s 14. I try to talk to him. It is stone-faced \/ no expression. He can\u2019t wait for me to leave the room. I just feel like the relationship is over. I don\u2019t know what I did. I want to win his heart back.\u201d What strategy\u2014is there a way to do that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> There is. It\u2019s not just an easy answer, but let\u2019s go back to what we all need. We all want to feel safe, secure, and loved in a relationship. So, think about\u2014even in a marriage, you want to feel safe, secure, and loved by your spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Well, kids are similar. They want to feel safe with their parents. They want to feel secure in their identity and their love from their parents. And love\u2014there are a number of ways you can do that. And there are a number of things we do that can harm that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, let\u2019s focus on trying to win a child\u2019s heart back. I\u2019m going to give you three A\u2019s\u2014and we\u2019ve talked about this before\u2014but attention, affirmation, and affection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGiving the proper attention to your child\u2014where they know your investment of time and energy into them is crucial for them to know that you are loving them. When you give them affirmation\u2014you\u2019re saying: \u201cI love you. I\u2019m grateful God gave you to me.\u201d You\u2019re affirming what they are good at\/things they\u2019ve done well. Again, that\u2019s nurturing their heart. And finally, affection\u2014to say, in the proper ways\u2014to say, \u201cI love you,\u201d with the simple touches, hugs, pats on the back\u2014all those things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd let me point this out\u2014attention, affirmation, and affection\u2014what did the LORD do to Jesus when He was about to go into ministry and He was being baptized? The LORD affirmed who He was: \u201cYou are My Son in whom I am well pleased.\u201d That has to do with His identity\u2014that has to do with God\u2019s favor on Him. He tells everyone, \u201cListen to My Son.\u201d Then, what happened, right after that? Jesus goes into the wilderness and is tempted by the devil for 40 days. And what does the devil do? He goes after His identity\u2014His security. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut Jesus has just been affirmed and secured in the Father. The LORD says: \u201cI love You. You are My Son.\u201d And he attacks Jesus about His identity: \u201cIf You are God\u2019s Son, then, this.\u201d \u201cIf You are God\u2019s Son, then, that.\u201d But again, the LORD took care of it. As a loving Father, He affirmed His Son. So, attention, affirmation, affection\u2014you do that to your kids\u2014that\u2019s a great place to start. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I\u2019m looking back through your book, at this point. Every one of these 40 dares is really a challenge to love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> All 40 begin with the word, \u201cLove is,\u201d or, \u201cLove bears all things,\u201d or, \u201cLove is kind,\u201d \u201cLove is compassionate.\u201d You\u2019re really coaching parents to know how to, biblically, love their children. You\u2019d think parents would know how to do it naturally, but that\u2019s why God gave us the Scriptures. We aren\u2019t necessarily naturally good at loving\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014according to God\u2019s way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Well, and if we ask ourselves: \u201cAre you impatient with your kids? Are you unkind to your kids? Are you rude around your kids?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s enough questions! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, kids bring out\u2014they bring that stuff out of us because God\u2019s doing a work in our lives, too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes, He is. God has a way of using marriage and children to expose un-Christlikeness in us because He\u2019s trying to conform all of us into the image of His Son. And He\u2019ll use all circumstances to do so. So, instead of attacking our children, sometimes, we need to say, \u201cLord, you\u2019ve just used my child to reveal selfness in me \/ pride in me \/ or that I\u2019m clinging to my rights rather than laying down my life for someone else.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I want to go back to something that Stephen said earlier about interceding for your kids because I really think we underplay this, as parents. It, not only works with a 14-year-old, when the stakes are higher; but it also works when they are toddlers, or three, or four, or five years old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t remember how old this particular child was, but he was ours. He\u2019d learned something or got something genetically from me\u2014I\u2019m convinced\u2014because he was stealing. He was stealing. I used to steal a nickel \/ a dime out of my dad\u2019s change\u2014and, you know, just took it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> A man shall reap what he sows. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But we couldn\u2019t catch this kid in his thievery. And by the way, we had six kids; and there was more than one of them that went through this little phase. So, we began to intercede: \u201cGod, we need Your help. We are helpless parents who need the help of God Almighty to catch this little thief that\u2019s in our house.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> There are certain things you can do, as a parent\u2014keep your eyes open and watch out for the areas of your kids\u2019 lives that may need addressing. However, you don\u2019t know everything. You\u2019re not always watching them. And as you know, when you were young \/ when I was young, we know when Mom and Dad are coming down the hall. We can hear them. We act like we\u2019re asleep, sometimes. My point is\u2014the Lord sees everything. He knows. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, why not do what God\u2019s called you to do, as a parent? But have that prayer strategy\u2014to bathe your children in prayer\u2014that you\u2019re praying for their heart to be tender toward the Lord\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tto have a sensitive conscience, for discernment, for wisdom, and for anything to hurt or poke them if they step off the path they\u2019re supposed to be on. Let the Lord do the heavy lifting. It doesn\u2019t mean we abdicate our role, as parents; but yet, the Lord sees and knows everything. He loves us, and He loves our children more than we <em>ever<\/em> could. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Okay, Dennis, Number 5 in this book is \u201cPray that your kids will be caught when they\u2019re guilty.\u201d And so, I want you to finish your story. What happened? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, there was a set of circumstances that occurred that could have only been set up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> By God? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014by God! I mean, we caught this little rascal\u2014in fact, both times it occurred, we caught him\u2014and got my porch painted once because the kid was older [Laughter]\u2014and on the other occasion, we administered a little discipline. But here\u2019s what we did. We would pray for our kids\u2014we would pray with our kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and they knew we would pray that God would help us catch them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014if they were off in something they ought not to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mean, you prayed that\u2014you\u2019d say, \u201cLord, help us catch a child\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I prayed that over them, out loud. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s the fear\u2014you\u2019re teaching them the fear of the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I, at one point, I kind of opened my eye a little bit. It was like, \u201cAm I detecting a wrinkle of a forehead like: \u2018Oh, no way! He\u2019s calling on God, at this point. This is not fair.\u2019?\u201d We\u2019re not playing games here. These are the souls of children, and parents have an important assignment to correct evil behavior\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014evil tendencies. And let\u2019s face it. We all have them, and our children are related to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Well, Hebrews 13 says, \u201cWe are accountable for the souls of those who are up underneath our care.\u201d And if you think about that, we will\u2014we, as parents, will stand before God, one day, because He\u2019s entrusted these homework assignments to us\u2014called children. We will be held accountable as to what we did with them. And the Lord is commanding parents, \u201cFathers, it\u2019s your job not to provoke your children to wrath, but you train them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.\u201d He\u2019s telling us to model the Way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe should be turning to our kids and saying, \u201cFollow me, as I follow Christ.\u201d We should be praying for them. We need the Lord\u2019s help every day\u2014every step of the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the skills that I think some of us, as parents, need to get a little sharper in is the skill of listening. One of the dares\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in <em>The Love Dare<\/em> is the need for us to be better listeners, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes, there is a time to rebuke or discipline behavior. There are other times that you can demonstrate love by listening. I mean, I\u2019m talking about full-on: \u201cI\u2019m focused on you. I\u2019m listening.\u201d You\u2019re not trying to necessarily fix everything. You\u2019re just <em>hearing <\/em>them out, which is an act of love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> And there\u2019s a time to do that. My youngest son, Caleb\u2014he is seven years old. And he\u2019s come to me\u2014and sometimes, what he comes to me with isn\u2019t that big of a deal\u2014but he wants to explain everything to me and tell me\u2014if he\u2019s upset about something. I have learned, at times: \u201cAlex, just shut up and listen to him. Take in everything he says. He needs to see you listening\u2014processing everything he wants you to process.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when we talk at the end, he feels like that that was quality time there: \u201cDad heard me out!\u201d And he sat there for three, four, five minutes\u2014and either ranted or explained something to me\u2014but listening is an art! And that\u2019s one thing we dare parents to do well\u2014to find those times\u2014where it doesn\u2019t require a rebuke; or, \u201cHere\u2019s what\u2026\u201d; or consoling\u2014but you just listen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And here\u2019s one additional place where I would apply what Stephen said, earlier, about intercession and prayer. If you\u2019re sitting there, listening to a teenager\u2014and it\u2019s this rant that\u2019s occurred half a dozen times or it\u2019s this emotional expression, where you\u2019re going, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on here?\u201d\u2014at those moments, just fire off a prayer to the Throne. Ask God to help you, as a parent, understand: \u201cWhat is going on here? What\u2019s the need in my daughter\/my son? I don\u2019t understand this situation.\u201d It\u2019s not that God will give you an audible answer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut I\u2019ve found, on many occasions, He will help me ask a follow-up question\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014that will unlock what is truly happening. It\u2019s not even in the body of information that\u2019s being shared. It\u2019s off in another direction of something that happened\u2014maybe, earlier in the day or last week\u2014that we are totally oblivious to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> The Lord gives us His Holy Spirit. That is an interactive relationship with God, on an ongoing basis, that we\u2019re saying: \u201cLord, give me wisdom for this moment. Give me grace, and strength, and patience in this moment. Give me love for my children in this moment. Give me discernment, in this moment, to know what is right and wrong.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You also encourage parents to help their children dream and to, then, try to meet those dreams. And I really like the concept of\u2014what do you call it?\u2014\u201cDream Day\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> I call it a \u201cDream Day\u201d. Stephen calls it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u201cBest Day Ever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cBest Day Ever\u201d. And what we do\u2014and again, this is not trying to tell parents to spend unnecessary money on something\u2014but this is what we do in my family. And Stephen can tell you how he does it in his. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the ways that we try to impart love to our kids is in fulfilling a reasonable dream. I\u2019ve gone to all six of my kids and said, \u201cI want you to write out a Dream Day, locally, within a certain mile radius\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014well, yes. No\u2014I\u2019m not saying\u2014\u201cTake me to Paris, Dad.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Maybe, there is something like that in the future; but for each of my six kids\u2014they individually get to write down, \u201cI would love to do this with my dad, or with my mom, or with my whole family.\u201d It may be as simple as, \u201cHey, I want to go\u2014in the morning, I want to go to a miniature golf course. Then, I want to go get an ice cream sundae. Then, I want to do this.\u201d Then, I pick a day\u2014usually, a Saturday. We try to fulfill that reasonable Dream Day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor a kid to come up with that and have that fulfilled\u2014the ones we\u2019ve already done\u2014they remember and refer to those, on a regular basis. It\u2019s an incredible investment in the heart of your child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And a lot of parents would think, \u201cI could\u2014if I did that, my child would come up with a bunch of unreasonable stuff.\u201d You\u2019d be surprised at the simple things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014kids want to do; wouldn\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u201cDad, if you would just help me clean my closet.\u201d And for some kids\u2014that\u2019s their biggest stressor, at that moment; and that\u2019s what they want. With my kids, sometimes\u2014well, I have a four-year-old: \u201cWould you just get me a Happy Meal and let\u2019s just go out together?\u201d\u2014with Daddy and you. And it\u2019s a big deal for the kids. So, we call it, \u201cBest Day Ever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I\u2019ll say to my kids: \u201cWhat would be your Best Day Ever? Here\u2019s the amount of money we can spend\u2014it\u2019s 20 bucks. You pick the restaurant. You pick what we\u2019re going to do with this time.\u201d Sometimes, it is very inexpensive; but the kid turns around and they know that their dad and mom love them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s an old story that you\u2019ve probably heard before about a business man who took a day off and took his son fishing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And he gets done. He wrote in his journal: \u201cTook my son fishing\u2014a wasted day.\u201d And the son wrote in his diary: \u201cWent fishing with my dad. Best day ever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that really is the perspective we have to have. There are simple things that can involve time\u2014activities that kids don\u2019t get to do, on a regular basis, that can be so\u2014like you said\u2014they build memories they\u2019ll never forget; don\u2019t they? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. That\u2019s right because it leaves an impression: \u201cMy parents invested in me. They cared about what I wanted to do.\u201d That time is like it\u2019s amplified in their mind: \u201cI\u2019m not just doing something fun. I\u2019m doing something that my parents allowed me to choose.\u201d And yes, like Stephen said, you may have to put boundaries on it and say: \u201cYou\u2019ve got these seven hours,\u201d or, \u201cIt has to be within this radius\u2014a 20-mile radius\u201d\u2014whatever. You know your budget, and you know what you are able to do; but let your child decide and pick one of those things. They will remember it for a long time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, give me an idea of: \u201cWhat was a Kendrick family Dream Day?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Well, I hate to admit this. I don\u2019t like roller skating because I fall, and I bust up my knees, and I\u2019ve cut my chin before. I\u2019m not good at it. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Tough love. This is tough love! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> See, what my kid\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> His martyr meter is going off now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, now, you should tell your kids: \u201cI can\u2019t do it. I\u2019m an actor. [Laughter] The studio won\u2019t let me do it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u201cWhere\u2019s my stunt double?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> My sons want to go swimming or play basketball\u2014things like that\u2014or go shoot the BB gun in the backyard\u2014and I\u2019m like all for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy daughters love to go roller skating. So, that means I go roller skating. It\u2019s not my favorite thing to do; but I\u2019ve been roller skating two or three times now. They want to go get an ice cream afterwards at a local ice cream place. And sometimes, maybe, watch their favorite princess movie or whatever; but I do it. I dote on them that day. I tell them I love them, and they refer to that day. It was just\u2014it\u2019s a huge moment in their life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How about a Stephen Kendrick family Dream Day? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> I remember, one day, we went to Chuck E. Cheese<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Burger King<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> playground. We rented a movie that they loved. We went out for ice cream that day, and they bought a toy at Target. For the kids, it was Best Day Ever. The other thing that I would attach to that is there are times when we set up our kids, where: \u201cIf you clean your room,\u201d or, \u201c\u2026you do this, you\u2019ll get a reward;\u201d but it\u2019s also important that we\u2019re not teaching our kids that our love for them is conditional\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u2014it is on their behavior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> So, many times, I\u2019ll do something for my kids; and I\u2019ll say, \u201cYou know why Daddy did that for you? It\u2019s because I love you, and that\u2019s the only reason.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not because you earned it or you deserve it. It\u2019s just because I love you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re really talking about reflecting God\u2019s extravagant\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014love. And I\u2019m trying to find it here. It\u2019s a prayer of Paul\u2019s in Ephesians, Chapter 3. It says, \u201cNow to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we could ask\u201d\u2014 as His kids\u2014\u201cor think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul\u2019s reminding us of who God is\u2014that He is a generous giver of grace, and of good gifts, and He\u2019s not a god in heaven with a giant fly swatter\u2014just trying to catch us having fun and WHACK! \u201cWipe that smile off your face, kid.\u201d No, God wants us to live life to the fullest. We, as parents, are, really, commissioned, by God, with the assignment of raising our kids to understand who He is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> He is the King of Fun. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He really is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Everything we enjoy in life\u2014if you think about it\u2014that\u2019s good\u2014it came directly from the hand of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I want our children to picture God with a smile because isn\u2019t that what He commands us to do\u2014at the end of the race that we all run\u2014where He says, \u201cWell done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master\u201d? I don\u2019t think He\u2019s saying that with a frown on His face. I think God\u2019s going to say that with a smile on His face. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to both of you, fathers, for peeling back your hearts and putting it between two covers\u2014calling it <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>\u2014and challenging parents to go back to the Book. And what they are going to find\u2014this is all anchored in the Bible. It\u2019s meant to be a core biblical assignment for parents to really help them on the journey of being a parent because it is hard work, but it is extremely satisfying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd guys, thanks, too, for the little movies you make, from time to time, too, by the way. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> In fact, we\u2019ll keep our listeners up to date as you guys go to work on your next movie, which is expected out a year or more from now. In the meantime, I want to encourage listeners to get a copy of <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em> and go to work. Start with Day 1. Both of you get on the same page\u2014both of you working together on this. Demonstrate to your kids that your love for them is genuine. Make sure they understand. Make sure they know, and feel, and experience your love. Again, the title of the book is <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy of the book. You can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you are on our website, check out the resource that Barbara Rainey has developed for moms and dads. It\u2019s called \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201d It\u2019s designed to help parents and children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tstudy, together, the attributes of genuine love that are listed in First Corinthians, Chapter 13\u2014to help us dive deeper into what it means when we say: \u201cLove is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy or boast. It\u2019s not rude. It\u2019s not arrogant.\u201d Find out more about \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201d and how you can use that, with your family, during the month of February. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you have any questions\u20141-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we are grateful for those of you who are regular listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and who have listened long enough to have a sense of: \u201cWhat is our mission?\u201d here at FamilyLife. We want to provide practical, biblical help for your marriage and for your family, day in and day out, on this radio program. Our goal is to see every home become a godly home. And you help make that happen when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour donations have enabled FamilyLife to reach more people in the last 12 months than we have ever reached in the history of this ministry. And we\u2019re grateful for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are able to make a donation, right now, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of a book that Dennis and Barbara Rainey have written on the subject of romance. It\u2019s called <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>\u2014half of the book written for a husband \/ half of the book written for a wife. Both halves do a compelling job of pointing us in the right direction as we seek to forge a stronger relationship with one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE. When you make an online donation, we will automatically send you the book, <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>. Or if you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation, just request a copy of the book on romance; and we\u2019ll send that to you. You can also write a check and mail it to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Request the book, <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>, when you do. And address your envelope to <em>FamilyLife Today\u2014<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tat P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And the zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about the transformation that can happen in a marriage when a husband takes the initiative to more regularly pray with his wife. Sam Ingrassia will be with us. He\u2019ll tell us his story of how he learned that important truth. Hope you can be with us for that, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.52M"],"filesize_raw":["23615753"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302926.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302926.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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producers Stephen and Alex Kendrick challenge parents through their new book, \"The Love Dare for Parents,\" to parent with purpose for 40 days, taking each day to intentionally love their children with the love of God.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-02-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, February 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Stephen and Alex Kendrick join us today with a dare. They want all of us to do a better job of loving our children. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I think all of us have had those grocery-store moments, where we are walking through the grocery store and you see a parent and a child interacting in the grocery store\u2014and the child, maybe, misbehaving\u2014the parents are misbehaving just as badly as the child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You just wonder when you see that\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cIf that\u2019s happening out here,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwhat\u2019s happening at home, in private, where no one can see?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was talking to a friend, recently, who was describing a scene\u2014where a child was sitting, and appeared to be minding her own business, and was humming. The mother started cursing at the child: \u201cWhy are you always making so much noise? Get away from me.\u201d You just think, \u201cWhat\u2019s going to be the impact of that, in the heart of a child, as that child grows to adulthood?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And as parents, there are those momentary situations where you may be tempted to lose control or lose your temper. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s where the Scriptures, I think, call us to surrender ourselves and our emotions and bring them, really, before the Lord and ask Him to empower us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there are also those times, with our children, when they aren\u2019t obeying us, over a period of time. We\u2019re putting up with, maybe, a five-year-old who is lying, repeatedly over a period of months, or he or she is stealing\u2014or they may grow into\u2014the elementary years, junior high, and high school\u2014where the issues become larger. When we\u2019re going through that, I think we need spiritual guard rails to make sure we don\u2019t run off the road, as parents, and we stand firm and head in the right direction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019ve got a couple of guys with us, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, who I <em>know<\/em> agree with me because they\u2019ve written a book called <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>. Stephen and Alex Kendrick join us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Good to see you. Glad to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You guys have made films. You\u2019ve written books, but you also are parents. I\u2019m just wondering, \u201cHas there ever been a period\u2014with one of your children or, maybe, multiple children\u2014where you thought, \u2018Man, I need somebody to come, and put their arm around me, and give me a little guidance here\u2019?\u201d Ever been there? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> I think all the time! [Laughter] We\u2019re all needing mentorship. We\u2019re all needing to pass it on\u2014what the Lord is teaching us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, you\u2019ve put this book together to be able to mentor, and coach, and encourage parents around, really, 40 days that challenge parents with a dare, each day, that\u2019s anchored in Scripture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s one that really goes to the heart of the issue with a child? Maybe, they are not a prodigal\u2014as in having left the house and away from the home\u2014but they\u2019re what Barbara and I referred to, as we wrote a book called <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em>\u2014that is an in-house prodigal\u2014maybe, a child who is just not doing well\u2014 maybe, they are five years old; maybe, they are nine; maybe, they are thirteen \/ eighteen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s one of these dares that you would point parents to\u2014to address one of those issues? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Well, we cannot reach into anyone\u2019s heart and change it. One of the days we talk about influencing your kids and creating a river of influence\u2014of good books, good mentors, good movies, good music\u2014in their lives and getting them out of the stream of this world. One of the days we talk about modeling the Way in the home; but the other one is we put a prayer strategy in the book because, ultimately, the Lord is the one who changes the heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> And so, in the book and in the appendix, we talk about praying very strategically for your children\u2014praying that God would draw them to Christ, at an early age\u2014praying that God would cause them to fear the Lord, and hate evil, and love what is good\u2014that God would surround them with good friendships and cause them to discern what is right and wrong in those situations. But the Bible communicates, multiple times, that the king\u2019s heart is in the hand of the Lord; but He could also open up Lydia\u2019s heart, in Acts, to the gospel. He can do the same thing with our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alex, if a dad came to you; and he said: \u201cI just feel like I\u2019ve lost my son. He\u2019s 14. I try to talk to him. It is stone-faced \/ no expression. He can\u2019t wait for me to leave the room. I just feel like the relationship is over. I don\u2019t know what I did. I want to win his heart back.\u201d What strategy\u2014is there a way to do that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> There is. It\u2019s not just an easy answer, but let\u2019s go back to what we all need. We all want to feel safe, secure, and loved in a relationship. So, think about\u2014even in a marriage, you want to feel safe, secure, and loved by your spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Well, kids are similar. They want to feel safe with their parents. They want to feel secure in their identity and their love from their parents. And love\u2014there are a number of ways you can do that. And there are a number of things we do that can harm that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, let\u2019s focus on trying to win a child\u2019s heart back. I\u2019m going to give you three A\u2019s\u2014and we\u2019ve talked about this before\u2014but attention, affirmation, and affection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGiving the proper attention to your child\u2014where they know your investment of time and energy into them is crucial for them to know that you are loving them. When you give them affirmation\u2014you\u2019re saying: \u201cI love you. I\u2019m grateful God gave you to me.\u201d You\u2019re affirming what they are good at\/things they\u2019ve done well. Again, that\u2019s nurturing their heart. And finally, affection\u2014to say, in the proper ways\u2014to say, \u201cI love you,\u201d with the simple touches, hugs, pats on the back\u2014all those things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd let me point this out\u2014attention, affirmation, and affection\u2014what did the LORD do to Jesus when He was about to go into ministry and He was being baptized? The LORD affirmed who He was: \u201cYou are My Son in whom I am well pleased.\u201d That has to do with His identity\u2014that has to do with God\u2019s favor on Him. He tells everyone, \u201cListen to My Son.\u201d Then, what happened, right after that? Jesus goes into the wilderness and is tempted by the devil for 40 days. And what does the devil do? He goes after His identity\u2014His security. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut Jesus has just been affirmed and secured in the Father. The LORD says: \u201cI love You. You are My Son.\u201d And he attacks Jesus about His identity: \u201cIf You are God\u2019s Son, then, this.\u201d \u201cIf You are God\u2019s Son, then, that.\u201d But again, the LORD took care of it. As a loving Father, He affirmed His Son. So, attention, affirmation, affection\u2014you do that to your kids\u2014that\u2019s a great place to start. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I\u2019m looking back through your book, at this point. Every one of these 40 dares is really a challenge to love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> All 40 begin with the word, \u201cLove is,\u201d or, \u201cLove bears all things,\u201d or, \u201cLove is kind,\u201d \u201cLove is compassionate.\u201d You\u2019re really coaching parents to know how to, biblically, love their children. You\u2019d think parents would know how to do it naturally, but that\u2019s why God gave us the Scriptures. We aren\u2019t necessarily naturally good at loving\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014according to God\u2019s way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Well, and if we ask ourselves: \u201cAre you impatient with your kids? Are you unkind to your kids? Are you rude around your kids?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s enough questions! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, kids bring out\u2014they bring that stuff out of us because God\u2019s doing a work in our lives, too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes, He is. God has a way of using marriage and children to expose un-Christlikeness in us because He\u2019s trying to conform all of us into the image of His Son. And He\u2019ll use all circumstances to do so. So, instead of attacking our children, sometimes, we need to say, \u201cLord, you\u2019ve just used my child to reveal selfness in me \/ pride in me \/ or that I\u2019m clinging to my rights rather than laying down my life for someone else.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I want to go back to something that Stephen said earlier about interceding for your kids because I really think we underplay this, as parents. It, not only works with a 14-year-old, when the stakes are higher; but it also works when they are toddlers, or three, or four, or five years old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t remember how old this particular child was, but he was ours. He\u2019d learned something or got something genetically from me\u2014I\u2019m convinced\u2014because he was stealing. He was stealing. I used to steal a nickel \/ a dime out of my dad\u2019s change\u2014and, you know, just took it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> A man shall reap what he sows. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But we couldn\u2019t catch this kid in his thievery. And by the way, we had six kids; and there was more than one of them that went through this little phase. So, we began to intercede: \u201cGod, we need Your help. We are helpless parents who need the help of God Almighty to catch this little thief that\u2019s in our house.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> There are certain things you can do, as a parent\u2014keep your eyes open and watch out for the areas of your kids\u2019 lives that may need addressing. However, you don\u2019t know everything. You\u2019re not always watching them. And as you know, when you were young \/ when I was young, we know when Mom and Dad are coming down the hall. We can hear them. We act like we\u2019re asleep, sometimes. My point is\u2014the Lord sees everything. He knows. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, why not do what God\u2019s called you to do, as a parent? But have that prayer strategy\u2014to bathe your children in prayer\u2014that you\u2019re praying for their heart to be tender toward the Lord\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tto have a sensitive conscience, for discernment, for wisdom, and for anything to hurt or poke them if they step off the path they\u2019re supposed to be on. Let the Lord do the heavy lifting. It doesn\u2019t mean we abdicate our role, as parents; but yet, the Lord sees and knows everything. He loves us, and He loves our children more than we <em>ever<\/em> could. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Okay, Dennis, Number 5 in this book is \u201cPray that your kids will be caught when they\u2019re guilty.\u201d And so, I want you to finish your story. What happened? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, there was a set of circumstances that occurred that could have only been set up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> By God? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014by God! I mean, we caught this little rascal\u2014in fact, both times it occurred, we caught him\u2014and got my porch painted once because the kid was older [Laughter]\u2014and on the other occasion, we administered a little discipline. But here\u2019s what we did. We would pray for our kids\u2014we would pray with our kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and they knew we would pray that God would help us catch them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014if they were off in something they ought not to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mean, you prayed that\u2014you\u2019d say, \u201cLord, help us catch a child\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I prayed that over them, out loud. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s the fear\u2014you\u2019re teaching them the fear of the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I, at one point, I kind of opened my eye a little bit. It was like, \u201cAm I detecting a wrinkle of a forehead like: \u2018Oh, no way! He\u2019s calling on God, at this point. This is not fair.\u2019?\u201d We\u2019re not playing games here. These are the souls of children, and parents have an important assignment to correct evil behavior\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014evil tendencies. And let\u2019s face it. We all have them, and our children are related to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Well, Hebrews 13 says, \u201cWe are accountable for the souls of those who are up underneath our care.\u201d And if you think about that, we will\u2014we, as parents, will stand before God, one day, because He\u2019s entrusted these homework assignments to us\u2014called children. We will be held accountable as to what we did with them. And the Lord is commanding parents, \u201cFathers, it\u2019s your job not to provoke your children to wrath, but you train them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.\u201d He\u2019s telling us to model the Way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe should be turning to our kids and saying, \u201cFollow me, as I follow Christ.\u201d We should be praying for them. We need the Lord\u2019s help every day\u2014every step of the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the skills that I think some of us, as parents, need to get a little sharper in is the skill of listening. One of the dares\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in <em>The Love Dare<\/em> is the need for us to be better listeners, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes, there is a time to rebuke or discipline behavior. There are other times that you can demonstrate love by listening. I mean, I\u2019m talking about full-on: \u201cI\u2019m focused on you. I\u2019m listening.\u201d You\u2019re not trying to necessarily fix everything. You\u2019re just <em>hearing <\/em>them out, which is an act of love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> And there\u2019s a time to do that. My youngest son, Caleb\u2014he is seven years old. And he\u2019s come to me\u2014and sometimes, what he comes to me with isn\u2019t that big of a deal\u2014but he wants to explain everything to me and tell me\u2014if he\u2019s upset about something. I have learned, at times: \u201cAlex, just shut up and listen to him. Take in everything he says. He needs to see you listening\u2014processing everything he wants you to process.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when we talk at the end, he feels like that that was quality time there: \u201cDad heard me out!\u201d And he sat there for three, four, five minutes\u2014and either ranted or explained something to me\u2014but listening is an art! And that\u2019s one thing we dare parents to do well\u2014to find those times\u2014where it doesn\u2019t require a rebuke; or, \u201cHere\u2019s what\u2026\u201d; or consoling\u2014but you just listen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And here\u2019s one additional place where I would apply what Stephen said, earlier, about intercession and prayer. If you\u2019re sitting there, listening to a teenager\u2014and it\u2019s this rant that\u2019s occurred half a dozen times or it\u2019s this emotional expression, where you\u2019re going, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on here?\u201d\u2014at those moments, just fire off a prayer to the Throne. Ask God to help you, as a parent, understand: \u201cWhat is going on here? What\u2019s the need in my daughter\/my son? I don\u2019t understand this situation.\u201d It\u2019s not that God will give you an audible answer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut I\u2019ve found, on many occasions, He will help me ask a follow-up question\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014that will unlock what is truly happening. It\u2019s not even in the body of information that\u2019s being shared. It\u2019s off in another direction of something that happened\u2014maybe, earlier in the day or last week\u2014that we are totally oblivious to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> The Lord gives us His Holy Spirit. That is an interactive relationship with God, on an ongoing basis, that we\u2019re saying: \u201cLord, give me wisdom for this moment. Give me grace, and strength, and patience in this moment. Give me love for my children in this moment. Give me discernment, in this moment, to know what is right and wrong.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You also encourage parents to help their children dream and to, then, try to meet those dreams. And I really like the concept of\u2014what do you call it?\u2014\u201cDream Day\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> I call it a \u201cDream Day\u201d. Stephen calls it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u201cBest Day Ever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cBest Day Ever\u201d. And what we do\u2014and again, this is not trying to tell parents to spend unnecessary money on something\u2014but this is what we do in my family. And Stephen can tell you how he does it in his. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the ways that we try to impart love to our kids is in fulfilling a reasonable dream. I\u2019ve gone to all six of my kids and said, \u201cI want you to write out a Dream Day, locally, within a certain mile radius\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014well, yes. No\u2014I\u2019m not saying\u2014\u201cTake me to Paris, Dad.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Maybe, there is something like that in the future; but for each of my six kids\u2014they individually get to write down, \u201cI would love to do this with my dad, or with my mom, or with my whole family.\u201d It may be as simple as, \u201cHey, I want to go\u2014in the morning, I want to go to a miniature golf course. Then, I want to go get an ice cream sundae. Then, I want to do this.\u201d Then, I pick a day\u2014usually, a Saturday. We try to fulfill that reasonable Dream Day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor a kid to come up with that and have that fulfilled\u2014the ones we\u2019ve already done\u2014they remember and refer to those, on a regular basis. It\u2019s an incredible investment in the heart of your child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And a lot of parents would think, \u201cI could\u2014if I did that, my child would come up with a bunch of unreasonable stuff.\u201d You\u2019d be surprised at the simple things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014kids want to do; wouldn\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u201cDad, if you would just help me clean my closet.\u201d And for some kids\u2014that\u2019s their biggest stressor, at that moment; and that\u2019s what they want. With my kids, sometimes\u2014well, I have a four-year-old: \u201cWould you just get me a Happy Meal and let\u2019s just go out together?\u201d\u2014with Daddy and you. And it\u2019s a big deal for the kids. So, we call it, \u201cBest Day Ever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I\u2019ll say to my kids: \u201cWhat would be your Best Day Ever? Here\u2019s the amount of money we can spend\u2014it\u2019s 20 bucks. You pick the restaurant. You pick what we\u2019re going to do with this time.\u201d Sometimes, it is very inexpensive; but the kid turns around and they know that their dad and mom love them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s an old story that you\u2019ve probably heard before about a business man who took a day off and took his son fishing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And he gets done. He wrote in his journal: \u201cTook my son fishing\u2014a wasted day.\u201d And the son wrote in his diary: \u201cWent fishing with my dad. Best day ever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that really is the perspective we have to have. There are simple things that can involve time\u2014activities that kids don\u2019t get to do, on a regular basis, that can be so\u2014like you said\u2014they build memories they\u2019ll never forget; don\u2019t they? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. That\u2019s right because it leaves an impression: \u201cMy parents invested in me. They cared about what I wanted to do.\u201d That time is like it\u2019s amplified in their mind: \u201cI\u2019m not just doing something fun. I\u2019m doing something that my parents allowed me to choose.\u201d And yes, like Stephen said, you may have to put boundaries on it and say: \u201cYou\u2019ve got these seven hours,\u201d or, \u201cIt has to be within this radius\u2014a 20-mile radius\u201d\u2014whatever. You know your budget, and you know what you are able to do; but let your child decide and pick one of those things. They will remember it for a long time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, give me an idea of: \u201cWhat was a Kendrick family Dream Day?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Well, I hate to admit this. I don\u2019t like roller skating because I fall, and I bust up my knees, and I\u2019ve cut my chin before. I\u2019m not good at it. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Tough love. This is tough love! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> See, what my kid\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> His martyr meter is going off now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, now, you should tell your kids: \u201cI can\u2019t do it. I\u2019m an actor. [Laughter] The studio won\u2019t let me do it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u201cWhere\u2019s my stunt double?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> My sons want to go swimming or play basketball\u2014things like that\u2014or go shoot the BB gun in the backyard\u2014and I\u2019m like all for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy daughters love to go roller skating. So, that means I go roller skating. It\u2019s not my favorite thing to do; but I\u2019ve been roller skating two or three times now. They want to go get an ice cream afterwards at a local ice cream place. And sometimes, maybe, watch their favorite princess movie or whatever; but I do it. I dote on them that day. I tell them I love them, and they refer to that day. It was just\u2014it\u2019s a huge moment in their life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How about a Stephen Kendrick family Dream Day? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> I remember, one day, we went to Chuck E. Cheese<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Burger King<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> playground. We rented a movie that they loved. We went out for ice cream that day, and they bought a toy at Target. For the kids, it was Best Day Ever. The other thing that I would attach to that is there are times when we set up our kids, where: \u201cIf you clean your room,\u201d or, \u201c\u2026you do this, you\u2019ll get a reward;\u201d but it\u2019s also important that we\u2019re not teaching our kids that our love for them is conditional\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u2014it is on their behavior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> So, many times, I\u2019ll do something for my kids; and I\u2019ll say, \u201cYou know why Daddy did that for you? It\u2019s because I love you, and that\u2019s the only reason.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not because you earned it or you deserve it. It\u2019s just because I love you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re really talking about reflecting God\u2019s extravagant\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014love. And I\u2019m trying to find it here. It\u2019s a prayer of Paul\u2019s in Ephesians, Chapter 3. It says, \u201cNow to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we could ask\u201d\u2014 as His kids\u2014\u201cor think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul\u2019s reminding us of who God is\u2014that He is a generous giver of grace, and of good gifts, and He\u2019s not a god in heaven with a giant fly swatter\u2014just trying to catch us having fun and WHACK! \u201cWipe that smile off your face, kid.\u201d No, God wants us to live life to the fullest. We, as parents, are, really, commissioned, by God, with the assignment of raising our kids to understand who He is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> He is the King of Fun. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He really is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Everything we enjoy in life\u2014if you think about it\u2014that\u2019s good\u2014it came directly from the hand of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I want our children to picture God with a smile because isn\u2019t that what He commands us to do\u2014at the end of the race that we all run\u2014where He says, \u201cWell done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master\u201d? I don\u2019t think He\u2019s saying that with a frown on His face. I think God\u2019s going to say that with a smile on His face. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to both of you, fathers, for peeling back your hearts and putting it between two covers\u2014calling it <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>\u2014and challenging parents to go back to the Book. And what they are going to find\u2014this is all anchored in the Bible. It\u2019s meant to be a core biblical assignment for parents to really help them on the journey of being a parent because it is hard work, but it is extremely satisfying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd guys, thanks, too, for the little movies you make, from time to time, too, by the way. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> In fact, we\u2019ll keep our listeners up to date as you guys go to work on your next movie, which is expected out a year or more from now. In the meantime, I want to encourage listeners to get a copy of <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em> and go to work. Start with Day 1. Both of you get on the same page\u2014both of you working together on this. Demonstrate to your kids that your love for them is genuine. Make sure they understand. Make sure they know, and feel, and experience your love. Again, the title of the book is <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy of the book. You can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you are on our website, check out the resource that Barbara Rainey has developed for moms and dads. It\u2019s called \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201d It\u2019s designed to help parents and children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tstudy, together, the attributes of genuine love that are listed in First Corinthians, Chapter 13\u2014to help us dive deeper into what it means when we say: \u201cLove is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy or boast. It\u2019s not rude. It\u2019s not arrogant.\u201d Find out more about \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201d and how you can use that, with your family, during the month of February. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you have any questions\u20141-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we are grateful for those of you who are regular listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and who have listened long enough to have a sense of: \u201cWhat is our mission?\u201d here at FamilyLife. We want to provide practical, biblical help for your marriage and for your family, day in and day out, on this radio program. Our goal is to see every home become a godly home. And you help make that happen when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour donations have enabled FamilyLife to reach more people in the last 12 months than we have ever reached in the history of this ministry. And we\u2019re grateful for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are able to make a donation, right now, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of a book that Dennis and Barbara Rainey have written on the subject of romance. It\u2019s called <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>\u2014half of the book written for a husband \/ half of the book written for a wife. Both halves do a compelling job of pointing us in the right direction as we seek to forge a stronger relationship with one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE. When you make an online donation, we will automatically send you the book, <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>. Or if you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation, just request a copy of the book on romance; and we\u2019ll send that to you. You can also write a check and mail it to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Request the book, <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>, when you do. And address your envelope to <em>FamilyLife Today\u2014<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tat P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And the zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about the transformation that can happen in a marriage when a husband takes the initiative to more regularly pray with his wife. Sam Ingrassia will be with us. He\u2019ll tell us his story of how he learned that important truth. Hope you can be with us for that, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. 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