{"id":302924,"date":"2014-02-03T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-02-03T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-40-day-journey-to-loving-your-kids\/"},"modified":"2014-02-03T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-02-03T17:00:00","slug":"a-40-day-journey-to-loving-your-kids","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-40-day-journey-to-loving-your-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"A 40-Day Journey to Loving Your Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Parents need to intentionally seek out ways to encourage, teach and bless our children daily. Stephen and Alex Kendrick talk to parents about  their book, &#8220;The Love Dare for Parents,&#8221; a 40-day dare to parents to love their kids.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-02-03.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.7M","filesize_raw":"23798181","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2834,2806],"tags":[5331,5330,4634,4213,4271],"podcast_series":[7204],"cwp_profile":[8818,3104],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302924","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-praying-for-your-children","category-spiritual-development","tag-apology","tag-forgive","tag-grace","tag-love","tag-sin","podcast_series-the-love-dare-for-parents","cwp_profile-alex-kendrick","cwp_profile-stephen-kendrick","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302924\/a-40-day-journey-to-loving-your-kids","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302924\/a-40-day-journey-to-loving-your-kids","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"y89v2gFl7V\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-40-day-journey-to-loving-your-kids\/\">A 40-Day Journey to Loving Your Kids<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-40-day-journey-to-loving-your-kids\/embed\/#?secret=y89v2gFl7V\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A 40-Day Journey to Loving Your Kids&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"y89v2gFl7V\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-02-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-02-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You love your children; right? They <em>know <\/em>you love them; right? When was the last time you told them you love them you love them? Here\u2019s Stephen Kendrick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> There are so many men\u2019s conferences, where we\u2019ve spoken, and I\u2019ve asked men: \u201cRaise your hand if your parents never told you they loved you.\u201d All these hands go up across the room. It just breaks your heart because, in ten seconds, you can turn to your child and say: \u201cI want you to know I love you. You are priceless to me and I\u2019m proud of you. I\u2019m so grateful that God has placed you in my family.\u201d I mean, how long did it take me to say that; you know? It can transform their lives <em>forever<\/em> to know that they have that affection from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, February 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to talk today with Stephen and Alex Kendrick about telling your kids that you love them and, then, showing them that you love them, over and over again. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Back when you and Barbara were in the thick of raising your children, did you ever find there were some days when it was, maybe, a little easier to love the kids than on other days?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Occasionally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The occasional day. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, there were some days when there was a little bit more of a challenge to wrap your arms around the kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and just say, \u201cI love you today, Sweetie.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There were those moments that were just picturesque. It was like a Norman Rockwell painting, and it was just beautiful; but I would characterize raising children as one of the most challenging\u2014yet, beneficial, and satisfying, and fulfilling\u2014tasks that Barbara and I have ever done. I mean, it was a great privilege\u2014a high and holy privilege\u2014that I look back on with a great grin and a lot of satisfaction\u2014and not a lot of regrets. I do have some. One is that I didn\u2019t have this book. [Laughter] It\u2019s called <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>. We have the authors of this, Stephen and Alex Kendrick, back on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Thank you. It\u2019s good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They co-authored another book that sold six million copies\u2014called <em>The Love Dare<\/em>. That, of course, came from the movie, <em>Fireproof. <\/em>They are pastors, authors, filmmakers, and, amazingly\u2014I\u2019ve been around them a long time\u2014they\u2019re brothers who, for the most part, get along with each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> We do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s amazing! It really is. They\u2019ve put together a 40-day dare\u2014a dare to love your kids. The regret I have, Bob, is not having something like this just to kind of anchor you for a period of time and to focus on some of the key issues of raising kids today, from the Scriptures.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s the recalibration\u2014I mean, life kind of happens a day at a time. We need to be reminded to be intentional, to be purposeful, and to be focused. We have an assignment in front of us and, as Dennis says, it\u2019s a challenging assignment\u2014and it\u2019s a rewarding assignment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can\u2019t really check out of the game for very long and expect it to go well; can we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. And that was our motivation. The original <em>Love Dare<\/em> was for couples. This <em>Love Dare for Parents<\/em> is to say exactly that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> You have to win your child\u2019s heart because whoever they believe loves them the most is who they will listen to the most, whether it\u2019s their parents or their peers. It\u2019s when they are unsure: \u201cDo my parents really, really love me? But look over here\u2014my friends are giving me a lot of attention.\u201d They start listening to their peers. If that\u2019s not settled\u2014especially, in their teenage years and up\u2014you get a lot of issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re always in competition with something or someone for your kids\u2019 hearts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you don\u2019t go after it aggressively, you could lose that competition. You guys begin <em>The Love Dare for Parents <\/em>really focusing on this dimension of love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Well, in First Corinthians 13, you know, the Apostle Paul is unpacking love. If you look in Ephesians, he says it\u2019s like soil. We need to be \u201crooted and grounded in love.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus used the illustration of truth being like a seed. Paul said, \u201cSpeak the truth in love.\u201d As parents, when we want to pass on our faith, our values, the lessons of life\u2014the wisdom\u2014to our kids, we\u2019re taking that truth and it needs to be planted in that soil of a loving relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> People tend to adopt the beliefs of those they believe love them the most. So, a child seeing what his parents do and what they believe\u2014if that child believes, for certain, \u201cI <em>know<\/em> my dad and mom love me!\u201d\u2014they will adopt their beliefs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> David said, \u201cI am ever mindful of Your love for me\u2014your unfailing love for me\u2014and I will walk according to Your truth.\u201d He was thinking about how much God loved him. It caused him to want to listen to the Lord and embrace what He was teaching him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and to carry that a step further, it\u2019s really why meditating on the cross\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014reorients everything about our lives\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because, when we consider God\u2019s sacrifice on our behalf and the love that is behind that, it changes everything about our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s what turned my life around, as a college student. I mean, I was in the Book of Romans. It was the love of Christ\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014that said: \u201cLook! Even though you\u2019re going your own way, I love you! I want a relationship with you. I want to give you purpose and meaning. I want to see your soul redeemed and give you a message for a lifetime.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally, that\u2019s a picture of what parents are doing with their kids. One of the love dares for parents is about \u201cLove Blooms\u201d\u2014it helps a child bloom. Alex, you have a story about that, with one of your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes, I constantly remind my kids: \u201cI love you. You are my daughter \/ you are my son.\u201d When I do that\u2014my wife Christina does that with me\u2014when we do that, we engender that devotion to us, as parents. Again, it doesn\u2019t mean we don\u2019t have issues. We do. My kids misbehave\u2014which is common for most families. They fight amongst one another; but when I verbalize that love and I say, \u201cWhatever God has designed you to do, that\u2019s what I want you to do.\u201d We give them those opportunities\u2014our kids learn: \u201cMy mom and my dad love me, and they love Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI see them adopting that faith and making it their own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what does it look like for you to say that? I mean, do you, in the car, say, \u201cLook, you\u2019re a Kendrick,\u201d or, \u201cYou\u2019re my son.\u201d How would that play out for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Well, a recent time for my daughter\u2014when we were on a trip and we were up on top of Pike\u2019s Peak, which is, you know\u2014a beautiful location\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> \u2014very, very high. We were up there, and I took that time to kind of surprise her with an act of kindness. I gave her a necklace. I said, \u201cI want you to remember where we are\u2014we\u2019re at one of the highest places in the country. I want you to remember who you\u2019re with and that I love you.\u201d I gave her a necklace that she still has. She put that necklace on, and it was one of those moments\u2014where I took that moment to just show her some kindness and to verbalize my love to her. She remembers it because she still has that necklace. It\u2019s attached to a memory there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou look for those opportunities where you can say: \u201cI love you. It\u2019s not based on your performance. It\u2019s not based on your grades.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, you always want to affirm those things, but my daughter and my son\u2019s identity must be found in the Lord. They\u2019ll catch on to that, first, if it\u2019s found in us. In other words: \u201cGod loves me, and I love you;\u201d and they see a picture of that. So, later on, when they begin to question who they are, they remember: \u201cMy dad told me who I was and that I was loved.\u201d It\u2019s easier for them to believe that God loves them when they have that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> There are so many men\u2019s conferences, where we\u2019ve spoken, and I\u2019ve asked men: \u201cRaise your hand if your parents never told you they loved you.\u201d All these hands go up across the room;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u2014and it just breaks your heart because, in ten seconds, you can turn to your child and say: \u201cI want you to know I love you. You are priceless to me, and I\u2019m proud of you. I\u2019m so grateful that God has placed you in my family.\u201d I mean, how long did it take me to say that, you know? It can transform their lives <em>forever<\/em> to know that they have that affection from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But when it doesn\u2019t happen\u2014and you get a room full of men who hold their hands up\u2014you can see the look on their faces.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like they\u2019re transformed\u2014and I hate to overstate it here\u2014but almost back to being a little boy again\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014just to have heard the approval and the affection, in words, from their moms and their dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> And they will tend to want to perform all of the time to try to earn what they never got. It\u2019s like: \u201cI want to win the awards. I want to win the approval.\u201d They\u2019ll, a lot of times, become workaholics or they\u2019ll do things to try to win that love and affection because their dads and moms never affirmed that in them. Ultimately, it has to come from the Lord, as you\u2019ve said, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> It\u2019s been said that either of us are either living from approval or <em>for <\/em>approval. So, if you think about that\u2014even into adulthood, are we living <em>from <\/em>approval\u2014if we <em>knew<\/em> we mattered and we <em>knew<\/em> we were loved and have purpose\u2014we can live from that approval. If we didn\u2019t get it, in our younger years, we\u2019re still living <em>for <\/em>it. We\u2019re still searching for it: \u201cAm I okay? Am I good enough?\u201d We\u2019re still seeking that award. There are three things all of us want\u2014from a child, up: We want attention, affirmation, and affection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want those three things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> You\u2019re supposed to get those from your parents; and, then, you realize that you\u2019ve gotten it from God\u2014later. Now, if you didn\u2019t get it from your parents, it doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019ll <em>never <\/em>know you got it from God. It\u2019s just <em>easier<\/em>, when your parents set up that fatherly\/parental love\u2014that authoritative love\u2014and they give that attention, affirmation, and affection. That sets up their identity. It sets up a greater stability in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Children get their first glimpse\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014of who God is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014from their mom and dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you love them, even imperfectly\u2014and I\u2019m not giving people license to yell at their kids; but we got impatient, from time to time\u2014we got short with them. It\u2019s always good to backtrack and to say, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m sorry,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI want you to forgive me. I want you to know that I love you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI really <em>do<\/em> love you.\u201d You can\u2019t say that enough, or too often.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ll never forget\u2014speaking at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways in St. Louis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking about the important and powerful mark a dad can leave in the lives of his children because we have a little bit of time on Sunday morning where we divide the men and the women up. We talk to the guys about their role as husbands and dads. The women talk to the wives about being wives and moms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember a guy coming up to me after that session. He said: \u201cWhen I was eight years old, I used to go down and hang out with my dad, who would just go down to the tavern, and sit with his friends at the tavern, and drink. I would just go hang out to be near him.\u201d He said, \u201cI remember, one day, when one of the guys said to my dad: \u2018Hey, I\u2019ve got some tickets for the ballgame. Do you want to go to the ballgame?\u2019\u201d My dad said, \u201cYes.\u201d Then, he turned to me; and he said, \u201cRun home and ask your mom if it\u2019s okay to go to the ballgame.\u201d The guy said: \u201cI was on Cloud Nine! I was going to go to the ballgame with my dad and his buddies!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said: \u201cI ran home and asked my mom. She said, \u2018Yes, I guess that\u2019s fine.\u2019 I ran back to the tavern.\u201d And he said, \u201cThey were all gone.\u201d He said, \u201cI realized, in that moment, that my dad sent me home to ask mom\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u2014to get rid of him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201c\u2014to get rid of me.\u201d You hear a story like that\u2014and here\u2019s a guy who will never forget\u2014that marked him; right?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a lot of listeners who go, \u201cI would never do anything like that to my child.\u201d They would never be deliberately or proactively evil to that child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But the question is: \u201cAre we deliberately and proactively demonstrating and expressing love?\u201d because I think there are a lot of parents who would say, \u201cI\u2019m not doing any bad stuff,\u201d but they\u2019re not being proactive in the good stuff they ought to be doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That scar\u2014even if he doesn\u2019t want it to\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> \u2014will stay with him for years and years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> If he\u2019s not careful, that bitterness may even bleed into his parenting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, he was in his forties, and he was telling me the story. You could see, in his eyes, that he was reliving it, as he was telling that story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Those are powerful moments. I just think, as parents, we\u2019ve got to recognize it\u2019s not good enough to not have those memories. We\u2019ve got to plant the opposite kinds of seeds for it to grow up in our kids\u2019 lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> And when you mess up\u2014and we all do\u2014I\u2019ve done the same thing. This is a <em>hard <\/em>thing for a father and a mother to do\u2014to swallow your pride and go to your child\u2014no matter their age\u2014they could be eight, eighteen, twenty-eight\u2014and say: \u201cI want to ask you a question. Have I ever done anything that really hurt you that I\u2019m unaware of or that we\u2019ve not talked about?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there\u2019s something there, that child will remember it; and they\u2019ll bring it back up. It takes a lot of guts to do this\u2014but to humble yourself and say: \u201cI want to apologize for that. That was wrong of me to do that.\u201d That apology\u2014a sincere apology: \u201cWould you forgive me for doing that?\u201d That sincere apology will go a <em>long<\/em> way\u2014more than you know\u2014to healing that scar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that\u2019s a great question to ask, regardless of the age of your kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014whether they\u2019re a toddler or all the way into adulthood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a dangerous question to want to ask because of what might be said; but, ultimately, that\u2019s one of the love dares in your book. How do you dare people with that assignment out of <em>The Love Dare <\/em>book?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> We walk through how we need to take responsibility for our actions. Love does take responsibility. One of the things that Alex and I most admired about our dad was that he would come to us, periodically, and say: \u201cHave I ever made a promise, and I didn\u2019t keep it? Have I ever said one thing and, then, did another thing? Have I ever wounded you in any way and, then, I didn\u2019t make it right?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur love and respect for him went up because he asked those questions. It is our tendency to want to save face. You know, we think: \u201cMy kids will look down on me,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019ll be embarrassed if I open up about my own faults.\u201d The opposite actually takes place. Your kids will love you <em>more<\/em> and respect you <em>more<\/em> when you deal with those issues!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA humble apology\u2014not only teaches kids how to humble themselves before God\u2014you know, when they see mom and dad do that\u2014that we don\u2019t have it all together. Our own kids show us a lot more mercy in our own mistakes because we tell them: \u201cWe\u2019re pursuing God; but we\u2019re going to make mistakes, too. We need your grace in our lives, as well.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So what you\u2019ve got here is forty days of assigning parents bite-sized chunks. Some of them might not be able to be done in a day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019re going to take, maybe, a week or longer before that love dare actually can go full-circle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you\u2019re trying to build habits into parents; aren\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Correct!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, forty days is\u2014don\u2019t they say: \u201cYou do something for forty days and it becomes a habit\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> It becomes a habit\u2014that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you can get somebody to work through all of these chapters\u2014it may take them three months or four months\u2014but you\u2019re building and developing a pattern in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Exactly! And some of them will be easy. You\u2019ll say: \u201cWell, we already do that. We already read Scripture together,\u201d or, \u201cI usually pray with my kids,\u201d or, \u201cI commonly say, \u2018I love you.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of them are going to be harder. <em>No doubt<\/em>, when you go through <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>, you\u2019re going to get to that day\u2014and you\u2019re going to say, \u201cOuch!\u201d We ask some probing questions like: \u201cWould your children rather spend time with you or with others? Do your children respect and listen to you? Do they really want to please you? Are they flippant in how they respond to you?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome people are going to say: \u201cWow! That brings to mind this or that.\u201d You can identify some key things and, maybe, those days take longer. Maybe, there\u2019s some prayer that needs to go on there or an apology that needs to go on there. Again, our goal is to come out of this thing\u2014whether it\u2019s 40 days, or 80 days, or longer\u2014that some healing that has taken place; some affirmation has taken place; and that you\u2019ve grown, as a parent; and your child has grown closer to you and to the Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, let\u2019s just put the cookies on a lower shelf here for a moment. Both of you guys are filmmakers. You\u2019ve written books. You\u2019re known, all over the country. You\u2019re also dads, who have your own struggles.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Pick one of these\u2014each of you\u2014that\u2019s a hard one for you\u2014that\u2019s a struggle for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Or was there one, when you were writing the book, that made you say: \u201cOh, ouch! Wow!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI want to leave that one out!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes, \u201cStephen, you write <em>this<\/em> day.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Who wants to go first?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Alex will go first.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m going to say\u2014I\u2019ve been married for 18 years, and I married the <em>right <\/em>person\u2014but, as you know, marriage takes work. There\u2019ve been some days\u2014we have some rules in our marriage. We don\u2019t name-call. We can say, \u201cYou\u2019re being too difficult about this,\u201d or she may say, \u201cAlex, you\u2019re being a hypocrite about this;\u201d but there\u2019ve been some times\u2014and we <em>know<\/em> this is a no-no\u2014but when we\u2019re frustrated and trying to get something done\u2014and we\u2019ve argued <em>in front<\/em> of our kids. That\u2019s not something that we want to do. I <em>see<\/em>, even in the countenance of my children\u2019s faces, this strain. They\u2019re downcast. They see mom and dad, who love each other, fighting or disagreeing over something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve had to go back\u2014first, to my wife, regardless of whether I think I\u2019m right or not about an issue\u2014to say: \u201cWe should not have done that. I am sorry, as the husband and as the father, for fueling this argument\u2014especially, in front of the kids.\u201d And then, going to the children\u2014because in my family, we do a family time\u2014every night, we read a chapter of Scripture, and we talk, and pray together. You try doing that if something\u2019s convicting you! [Laughter] I\u2019ve gone to my kids; and I\u2019ve said: \u201cWould you forgive Daddy for arguing with Mom? That was not the proper way to handle this. I should have calmed down before addressing this or treated Mom with more respect for doing this.\u201d \u201cYes!\u201d My kids always say, \u201cYes, I\u2019ll forgive you, Daddy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> But I think it says a lot to them to know that: \u201cEven Dad can humble himself when he needs to humble himself\u2014regardless of what the issue was\u2014and say: \u2018I should have handled that better. Would you forgive me?\u2019\u201d When my kids see that, I can even tell it\u2019s left an impression on them!\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cIt is okay to apologize,\u201d or, \u201cIt is okay not to have your own way or to have the last word,\u201d\u2014which is a <em>cancer<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> If you\u2019re that person\u2014who says: \u201cI don\u2019t care if I\u2019m wrong. I have to have the last word,\u201d that is a cancerous attitude. It will fester and leave bitterness. Again, it\u2019s going to do more damage than good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what I think most parents underestimate is\u2014when you\u2019re being authentic like this, and you admit that you\u2019ve fouled up\u2014that you\u2019ve done it wrong, you\u2019re really modeling how biblical love deals with wrongdoing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean\u2014we\u2019re all going to fail!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your kids need to see\u2014they don\u2019t need to see us fail\u2014they\u2019re <em>going<\/em> to see us fail\u2014they just need to see us handle our failures, biblically; and go to the other person; and ask their forgiveness; and then, tell the kids\u2014who witnessed the civil war\u2014to say, \u201cKids, I want you to know I\u2019ve dealt with it.\u201d That\u2019s what you do in a marriage that honors God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I remember a guest we had, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, who said a lot of Christian parents are raising kids, training them to be sin-avoiders and sin-concealers: \u201cStay away from it,\u201d and, \u201cIf you step in it, don\u2019t tell anybody.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He said, \u201cInstead, we\u2019ve got to raise our kids to be sin-confessors and sin-repenters.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And the way you raise them to do that is you demonstrate for them what confession and repentance looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> And God will give you <em>many <\/em>opportunities! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He will! [Laughter] You know, I really hate that! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve been watching you, out of the corner of my eye, Stephen. You looked all the way through your book. At the end, you kind of closed it, and shook your head, and said, \u201cI don\u2019t really have any struggles!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s: \u201cWhere do I <em>begin<\/em>?\u201d you know? Proverbs 24:16 says, \u201cA righteous man falls seven times but he rises again.\u201d We\u2019re all going to blow it, and we are going to blow it often. So, biblical repentance\u2014it is a beautiful thing that this generation needs to rediscover\u2014that we turn around; and we get right with God; and we get right with one another; and then, we walk in a new direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> So, when I was thinking through this, Dennis, the big one that came to me was time. You know, love gives time to your kids. We talk about turning off your television, turning off the internet, and spending time with your kids. With me, it\u2019s ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re so passionate about the ministries that we\u2019re involved in\u2014working on movies, and writing books, and traveling, and speaking. We see the fruit of that. We see lives being changed. It\u2019s easy, sometimes, to put those things above time with our kids. There have been so many times, when I would come home from a trip\u2014after being gone and ministering to other people\u2014and I pull into the driveway, and I just wanted to cry because I knew my wife and my kids were, at home\u2014praying for me and supporting me\u2014but waiting for me. When I come home, I know that my kids need their daddy. So, for me\u2014<em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>\u2014we tried to make it for busy parents, like we are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Every day is three-pages long\u2014you can finish it in five minutes. Then, it gives you a challenge that you can try to tackle that day or that week; but, with us, we\u2019ve had to develop habits\u2014you know, devotion time at night. We got rid of cable in our family because I could get consumed with it and spend five hours, you know, flipping through channels. I\u2019m wasting time that I could be spending with my kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This may be three-pages long, but every one of these love dares\u2014all 40 of them\u2014is uranium-enriched.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would really challenge folks, who are looking for a core for their parenting, to get this book and go through it\u2014whether you\u2019re a single-parent\u2014you and your husband or you and your wife go through it\u2014or whether you\u2019re a blended family. Take this book\u2014and you do address blended families in here\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014which, I applaud, by the way\u2014and go through it, and begin to take the dare\u2014whether it takes you 40 days or 40 weeks\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014get in it. Go through it; and begin to build your core, as parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think the call to being proactive and intentional in this area is really what we\u2019re focused on here. It\u2019s what you\u2019re focused on in <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>. It\u2019s a 40-day guidebook for a mom and a dad to turn it up\u2014to turn up the volume on the love\u2014to do a better job of expressing, to our children\u2014just how important, how valuable, how cherished they are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of <em>The Love Dare for Parents <\/em>in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. We\u2019d encourage you to go to FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order a copy of the book, online. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can request <em>The Love Dare for Parents.<\/em> We\u2019ll send it out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, when you\u2019re online, find out more about the resource that Barbara Rainey has put together for families to help all of us understand what real love looks like more effectively. It\u2019s called \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201d It takes First Corinthians 13 and allows us to\u2014together, with our children\u2014understand the biblical definition of love. Find out more about \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201d\u2014online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpeaking of real love, Dennis, you and your wife Barbara wrote a book about marital love called <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twhich really does a great job, I think, of helping husbands and wives better understand what real love in marriage looks like and how we, as husbands, can be more effective in loving our wives; and then, how wives can be more effective in loving their husbands. In fact, the book is split into two parts so that there\u2019s a half for husbands and a half for wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, we are making that book available to those of you who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with a donation. We are listener-supported. If you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to send you <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em> by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make your donation over the phone. Ask for the book <em>Rekindling the Romance.<\/em> Or, if you\u2019d prefer, you can mail a check to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Our mailing address is P O Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas\u2014Arkansas is AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk for the book on romance when you send in your check, and we\u2019ll mail the book back to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us again tomorrow. Stephen and Alex Kendrick will join us again. We\u2019re going to talk about how we can more effectively love our children. We\u2019ll talk, tomorrow, about how one aspect of loving them well is teaching them reverence for God. I hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.7M"],"filesize_raw":["23798181"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302924.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302924.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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need to intentionally seek out ways to encourage, teach and bless our children daily. Stephen and Alex Kendrick talk to parents about their book, \"The Love Dare for Parents,\" a 40-day dare to parents to love their kids.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-02-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You love your children; right? They <em>know <\/em>you love them; right? When was the last time you told them you love them you love them? Here\u2019s Stephen Kendrick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> There are so many men\u2019s conferences, where we\u2019ve spoken, and I\u2019ve asked men: \u201cRaise your hand if your parents never told you they loved you.\u201d All these hands go up across the room. It just breaks your heart because, in ten seconds, you can turn to your child and say: \u201cI want you to know I love you. You are priceless to me and I\u2019m proud of you. I\u2019m so grateful that God has placed you in my family.\u201d I mean, how long did it take me to say that; you know? It can transform their lives <em>forever<\/em> to know that they have that affection from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, February 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to talk today with Stephen and Alex Kendrick about telling your kids that you love them and, then, showing them that you love them, over and over again. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Back when you and Barbara were in the thick of raising your children, did you ever find there were some days when it was, maybe, a little easier to love the kids than on other days?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Occasionally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The occasional day. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, there were some days when there was a little bit more of a challenge to wrap your arms around the kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and just say, \u201cI love you today, Sweetie.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There were those moments that were just picturesque. It was like a Norman Rockwell painting, and it was just beautiful; but I would characterize raising children as one of the most challenging\u2014yet, beneficial, and satisfying, and fulfilling\u2014tasks that Barbara and I have ever done. I mean, it was a great privilege\u2014a high and holy privilege\u2014that I look back on with a great grin and a lot of satisfaction\u2014and not a lot of regrets. I do have some. One is that I didn\u2019t have this book. [Laughter] It\u2019s called <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>. We have the authors of this, Stephen and Alex Kendrick, back on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Thank you. It\u2019s good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They co-authored another book that sold six million copies\u2014called <em>The Love Dare<\/em>. That, of course, came from the movie, <em>Fireproof. <\/em>They are pastors, authors, filmmakers, and, amazingly\u2014I\u2019ve been around them a long time\u2014they\u2019re brothers who, for the most part, get along with each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> We do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s amazing! It really is. They\u2019ve put together a 40-day dare\u2014a dare to love your kids. The regret I have, Bob, is not having something like this just to kind of anchor you for a period of time and to focus on some of the key issues of raising kids today, from the Scriptures.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s the recalibration\u2014I mean, life kind of happens a day at a time. We need to be reminded to be intentional, to be purposeful, and to be focused. We have an assignment in front of us and, as Dennis says, it\u2019s a challenging assignment\u2014and it\u2019s a rewarding assignment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can\u2019t really check out of the game for very long and expect it to go well; can we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. And that was our motivation. The original <em>Love Dare<\/em> was for couples. This <em>Love Dare for Parents<\/em> is to say exactly that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> You have to win your child\u2019s heart because whoever they believe loves them the most is who they will listen to the most, whether it\u2019s their parents or their peers. It\u2019s when they are unsure: \u201cDo my parents really, really love me? But look over here\u2014my friends are giving me a lot of attention.\u201d They start listening to their peers. If that\u2019s not settled\u2014especially, in their teenage years and up\u2014you get a lot of issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re always in competition with something or someone for your kids\u2019 hearts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you don\u2019t go after it aggressively, you could lose that competition. You guys begin <em>The Love Dare for Parents <\/em>really focusing on this dimension of love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Well, in First Corinthians 13, you know, the Apostle Paul is unpacking love. If you look in Ephesians, he says it\u2019s like soil. We need to be \u201crooted and grounded in love.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus used the illustration of truth being like a seed. Paul said, \u201cSpeak the truth in love.\u201d As parents, when we want to pass on our faith, our values, the lessons of life\u2014the wisdom\u2014to our kids, we\u2019re taking that truth and it needs to be planted in that soil of a loving relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> People tend to adopt the beliefs of those they believe love them the most. So, a child seeing what his parents do and what they believe\u2014if that child believes, for certain, \u201cI <em>know<\/em> my dad and mom love me!\u201d\u2014they will adopt their beliefs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> David said, \u201cI am ever mindful of Your love for me\u2014your unfailing love for me\u2014and I will walk according to Your truth.\u201d He was thinking about how much God loved him. It caused him to want to listen to the Lord and embrace what He was teaching him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and to carry that a step further, it\u2019s really why meditating on the cross\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014reorients everything about our lives\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because, when we consider God\u2019s sacrifice on our behalf and the love that is behind that, it changes everything about our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s what turned my life around, as a college student. I mean, I was in the Book of Romans. It was the love of Christ\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014that said: \u201cLook! Even though you\u2019re going your own way, I love you! I want a relationship with you. I want to give you purpose and meaning. I want to see your soul redeemed and give you a message for a lifetime.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally, that\u2019s a picture of what parents are doing with their kids. One of the love dares for parents is about \u201cLove Blooms\u201d\u2014it helps a child bloom. Alex, you have a story about that, with one of your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes, I constantly remind my kids: \u201cI love you. You are my daughter \/ you are my son.\u201d When I do that\u2014my wife Christina does that with me\u2014when we do that, we engender that devotion to us, as parents. Again, it doesn\u2019t mean we don\u2019t have issues. We do. My kids misbehave\u2014which is common for most families. They fight amongst one another; but when I verbalize that love and I say, \u201cWhatever God has designed you to do, that\u2019s what I want you to do.\u201d We give them those opportunities\u2014our kids learn: \u201cMy mom and my dad love me, and they love Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI see them adopting that faith and making it their own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what does it look like for you to say that? I mean, do you, in the car, say, \u201cLook, you\u2019re a Kendrick,\u201d or, \u201cYou\u2019re my son.\u201d How would that play out for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Well, a recent time for my daughter\u2014when we were on a trip and we were up on top of Pike\u2019s Peak, which is, you know\u2014a beautiful location\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> \u2014very, very high. We were up there, and I took that time to kind of surprise her with an act of kindness. I gave her a necklace. I said, \u201cI want you to remember where we are\u2014we\u2019re at one of the highest places in the country. I want you to remember who you\u2019re with and that I love you.\u201d I gave her a necklace that she still has. She put that necklace on, and it was one of those moments\u2014where I took that moment to just show her some kindness and to verbalize my love to her. She remembers it because she still has that necklace. It\u2019s attached to a memory there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou look for those opportunities where you can say: \u201cI love you. It\u2019s not based on your performance. It\u2019s not based on your grades.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, you always want to affirm those things, but my daughter and my son\u2019s identity must be found in the Lord. They\u2019ll catch on to that, first, if it\u2019s found in us. In other words: \u201cGod loves me, and I love you;\u201d and they see a picture of that. So, later on, when they begin to question who they are, they remember: \u201cMy dad told me who I was and that I was loved.\u201d It\u2019s easier for them to believe that God loves them when they have that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> There are so many men\u2019s conferences, where we\u2019ve spoken, and I\u2019ve asked men: \u201cRaise your hand if your parents never told you they loved you.\u201d All these hands go up across the room;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u2014and it just breaks your heart because, in ten seconds, you can turn to your child and say: \u201cI want you to know I love you. You are priceless to me, and I\u2019m proud of you. I\u2019m so grateful that God has placed you in my family.\u201d I mean, how long did it take me to say that, you know? It can transform their lives <em>forever<\/em> to know that they have that affection from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But when it doesn\u2019t happen\u2014and you get a room full of men who hold their hands up\u2014you can see the look on their faces.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like they\u2019re transformed\u2014and I hate to overstate it here\u2014but almost back to being a little boy again\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014just to have heard the approval and the affection, in words, from their moms and their dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> And they will tend to want to perform all of the time to try to earn what they never got. It\u2019s like: \u201cI want to win the awards. I want to win the approval.\u201d They\u2019ll, a lot of times, become workaholics or they\u2019ll do things to try to win that love and affection because their dads and moms never affirmed that in them. Ultimately, it has to come from the Lord, as you\u2019ve said, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> It\u2019s been said that either of us are either living from approval or <em>for <\/em>approval. So, if you think about that\u2014even into adulthood, are we living <em>from <\/em>approval\u2014if we <em>knew<\/em> we mattered and we <em>knew<\/em> we were loved and have purpose\u2014we can live from that approval. If we didn\u2019t get it, in our younger years, we\u2019re still living <em>for <\/em>it. We\u2019re still searching for it: \u201cAm I okay? Am I good enough?\u201d We\u2019re still seeking that award. There are three things all of us want\u2014from a child, up: We want attention, affirmation, and affection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want those three things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> You\u2019re supposed to get those from your parents; and, then, you realize that you\u2019ve gotten it from God\u2014later. Now, if you didn\u2019t get it from your parents, it doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019ll <em>never <\/em>know you got it from God. It\u2019s just <em>easier<\/em>, when your parents set up that fatherly\/parental love\u2014that authoritative love\u2014and they give that attention, affirmation, and affection. That sets up their identity. It sets up a greater stability in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Children get their first glimpse\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014of who God is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014from their mom and dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you love them, even imperfectly\u2014and I\u2019m not giving people license to yell at their kids; but we got impatient, from time to time\u2014we got short with them. It\u2019s always good to backtrack and to say, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m sorry,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI want you to forgive me. I want you to know that I love you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI really <em>do<\/em> love you.\u201d You can\u2019t say that enough, or too often.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ll never forget\u2014speaking at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways in St. Louis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking about the important and powerful mark a dad can leave in the lives of his children because we have a little bit of time on Sunday morning where we divide the men and the women up. We talk to the guys about their role as husbands and dads. The women talk to the wives about being wives and moms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember a guy coming up to me after that session. He said: \u201cWhen I was eight years old, I used to go down and hang out with my dad, who would just go down to the tavern, and sit with his friends at the tavern, and drink. I would just go hang out to be near him.\u201d He said, \u201cI remember, one day, when one of the guys said to my dad: \u2018Hey, I\u2019ve got some tickets for the ballgame. Do you want to go to the ballgame?\u2019\u201d My dad said, \u201cYes.\u201d Then, he turned to me; and he said, \u201cRun home and ask your mom if it\u2019s okay to go to the ballgame.\u201d The guy said: \u201cI was on Cloud Nine! I was going to go to the ballgame with my dad and his buddies!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said: \u201cI ran home and asked my mom. She said, \u2018Yes, I guess that\u2019s fine.\u2019 I ran back to the tavern.\u201d And he said, \u201cThey were all gone.\u201d He said, \u201cI realized, in that moment, that my dad sent me home to ask mom\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> \u2014to get rid of him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201c\u2014to get rid of me.\u201d You hear a story like that\u2014and here\u2019s a guy who will never forget\u2014that marked him; right?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a lot of listeners who go, \u201cI would never do anything like that to my child.\u201d They would never be deliberately or proactively evil to that child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But the question is: \u201cAre we deliberately and proactively demonstrating and expressing love?\u201d because I think there are a lot of parents who would say, \u201cI\u2019m not doing any bad stuff,\u201d but they\u2019re not being proactive in the good stuff they ought to be doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That scar\u2014even if he doesn\u2019t want it to\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> \u2014will stay with him for years and years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> If he\u2019s not careful, that bitterness may even bleed into his parenting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, he was in his forties, and he was telling me the story. You could see, in his eyes, that he was reliving it, as he was telling that story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Those are powerful moments. I just think, as parents, we\u2019ve got to recognize it\u2019s not good enough to not have those memories. We\u2019ve got to plant the opposite kinds of seeds for it to grow up in our kids\u2019 lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> And when you mess up\u2014and we all do\u2014I\u2019ve done the same thing. This is a <em>hard <\/em>thing for a father and a mother to do\u2014to swallow your pride and go to your child\u2014no matter their age\u2014they could be eight, eighteen, twenty-eight\u2014and say: \u201cI want to ask you a question. Have I ever done anything that really hurt you that I\u2019m unaware of or that we\u2019ve not talked about?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there\u2019s something there, that child will remember it; and they\u2019ll bring it back up. It takes a lot of guts to do this\u2014but to humble yourself and say: \u201cI want to apologize for that. That was wrong of me to do that.\u201d That apology\u2014a sincere apology: \u201cWould you forgive me for doing that?\u201d That sincere apology will go a <em>long<\/em> way\u2014more than you know\u2014to healing that scar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that\u2019s a great question to ask, regardless of the age of your kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014whether they\u2019re a toddler or all the way into adulthood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a dangerous question to want to ask because of what might be said; but, ultimately, that\u2019s one of the love dares in your book. How do you dare people with that assignment out of <em>The Love Dare <\/em>book?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> We walk through how we need to take responsibility for our actions. Love does take responsibility. One of the things that Alex and I most admired about our dad was that he would come to us, periodically, and say: \u201cHave I ever made a promise, and I didn\u2019t keep it? Have I ever said one thing and, then, did another thing? Have I ever wounded you in any way and, then, I didn\u2019t make it right?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur love and respect for him went up because he asked those questions. It is our tendency to want to save face. You know, we think: \u201cMy kids will look down on me,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019ll be embarrassed if I open up about my own faults.\u201d The opposite actually takes place. Your kids will love you <em>more<\/em> and respect you <em>more<\/em> when you deal with those issues!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA humble apology\u2014not only teaches kids how to humble themselves before God\u2014you know, when they see mom and dad do that\u2014that we don\u2019t have it all together. Our own kids show us a lot more mercy in our own mistakes because we tell them: \u201cWe\u2019re pursuing God; but we\u2019re going to make mistakes, too. We need your grace in our lives, as well.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So what you\u2019ve got here is forty days of assigning parents bite-sized chunks. Some of them might not be able to be done in a day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019re going to take, maybe, a week or longer before that love dare actually can go full-circle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you\u2019re trying to build habits into parents; aren\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Correct!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, forty days is\u2014don\u2019t they say: \u201cYou do something for forty days and it becomes a habit\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> It becomes a habit\u2014that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you can get somebody to work through all of these chapters\u2014it may take them three months or four months\u2014but you\u2019re building and developing a pattern in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Exactly! And some of them will be easy. You\u2019ll say: \u201cWell, we already do that. We already read Scripture together,\u201d or, \u201cI usually pray with my kids,\u201d or, \u201cI commonly say, \u2018I love you.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of them are going to be harder. <em>No doubt<\/em>, when you go through <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>, you\u2019re going to get to that day\u2014and you\u2019re going to say, \u201cOuch!\u201d We ask some probing questions like: \u201cWould your children rather spend time with you or with others? Do your children respect and listen to you? Do they really want to please you? Are they flippant in how they respond to you?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome people are going to say: \u201cWow! That brings to mind this or that.\u201d You can identify some key things and, maybe, those days take longer. Maybe, there\u2019s some prayer that needs to go on there or an apology that needs to go on there. Again, our goal is to come out of this thing\u2014whether it\u2019s 40 days, or 80 days, or longer\u2014that some healing that has taken place; some affirmation has taken place; and that you\u2019ve grown, as a parent; and your child has grown closer to you and to the Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, let\u2019s just put the cookies on a lower shelf here for a moment. Both of you guys are filmmakers. You\u2019ve written books. You\u2019re known, all over the country. You\u2019re also dads, who have your own struggles.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Pick one of these\u2014each of you\u2014that\u2019s a hard one for you\u2014that\u2019s a struggle for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Or was there one, when you were writing the book, that made you say: \u201cOh, ouch! Wow!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI want to leave that one out!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes, \u201cStephen, you write <em>this<\/em> day.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Who wants to go first?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Alex will go first.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m going to say\u2014I\u2019ve been married for 18 years, and I married the <em>right <\/em>person\u2014but, as you know, marriage takes work. There\u2019ve been some days\u2014we have some rules in our marriage. We don\u2019t name-call. We can say, \u201cYou\u2019re being too difficult about this,\u201d or she may say, \u201cAlex, you\u2019re being a hypocrite about this;\u201d but there\u2019ve been some times\u2014and we <em>know<\/em> this is a no-no\u2014but when we\u2019re frustrated and trying to get something done\u2014and we\u2019ve argued <em>in front<\/em> of our kids. That\u2019s not something that we want to do. I <em>see<\/em>, even in the countenance of my children\u2019s faces, this strain. They\u2019re downcast. They see mom and dad, who love each other, fighting or disagreeing over something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve had to go back\u2014first, to my wife, regardless of whether I think I\u2019m right or not about an issue\u2014to say: \u201cWe should not have done that. I am sorry, as the husband and as the father, for fueling this argument\u2014especially, in front of the kids.\u201d And then, going to the children\u2014because in my family, we do a family time\u2014every night, we read a chapter of Scripture, and we talk, and pray together. You try doing that if something\u2019s convicting you! [Laughter] I\u2019ve gone to my kids; and I\u2019ve said: \u201cWould you forgive Daddy for arguing with Mom? That was not the proper way to handle this. I should have calmed down before addressing this or treated Mom with more respect for doing this.\u201d \u201cYes!\u201d My kids always say, \u201cYes, I\u2019ll forgive you, Daddy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> But I think it says a lot to them to know that: \u201cEven Dad can humble himself when he needs to humble himself\u2014regardless of what the issue was\u2014and say: \u2018I should have handled that better. Would you forgive me?\u2019\u201d When my kids see that, I can even tell it\u2019s left an impression on them!\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cIt is okay to apologize,\u201d or, \u201cIt is okay not to have your own way or to have the last word,\u201d\u2014which is a <em>cancer<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> If you\u2019re that person\u2014who says: \u201cI don\u2019t care if I\u2019m wrong. I have to have the last word,\u201d that is a cancerous attitude. It will fester and leave bitterness. Again, it\u2019s going to do more damage than good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what I think most parents underestimate is\u2014when you\u2019re being authentic like this, and you admit that you\u2019ve fouled up\u2014that you\u2019ve done it wrong, you\u2019re really modeling how biblical love deals with wrongdoing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean\u2014we\u2019re all going to fail!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your kids need to see\u2014they don\u2019t need to see us fail\u2014they\u2019re <em>going<\/em> to see us fail\u2014they just need to see us handle our failures, biblically; and go to the other person; and ask their forgiveness; and then, tell the kids\u2014who witnessed the civil war\u2014to say, \u201cKids, I want you to know I\u2019ve dealt with it.\u201d That\u2019s what you do in a marriage that honors God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I remember a guest we had, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, who said a lot of Christian parents are raising kids, training them to be sin-avoiders and sin-concealers: \u201cStay away from it,\u201d and, \u201cIf you step in it, don\u2019t tell anybody.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He said, \u201cInstead, we\u2019ve got to raise our kids to be sin-confessors and sin-repenters.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And the way you raise them to do that is you demonstrate for them what confession and repentance looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> And God will give you <em>many <\/em>opportunities! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He will! [Laughter] You know, I really hate that! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve been watching you, out of the corner of my eye, Stephen. You looked all the way through your book. At the end, you kind of closed it, and shook your head, and said, \u201cI don\u2019t really have any struggles!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s: \u201cWhere do I <em>begin<\/em>?\u201d you know? Proverbs 24:16 says, \u201cA righteous man falls seven times but he rises again.\u201d We\u2019re all going to blow it, and we are going to blow it often. So, biblical repentance\u2014it is a beautiful thing that this generation needs to rediscover\u2014that we turn around; and we get right with God; and we get right with one another; and then, we walk in a new direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> So, when I was thinking through this, Dennis, the big one that came to me was time. You know, love gives time to your kids. We talk about turning off your television, turning off the internet, and spending time with your kids. With me, it\u2019s ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re so passionate about the ministries that we\u2019re involved in\u2014working on movies, and writing books, and traveling, and speaking. We see the fruit of that. We see lives being changed. It\u2019s easy, sometimes, to put those things above time with our kids. There have been so many times, when I would come home from a trip\u2014after being gone and ministering to other people\u2014and I pull into the driveway, and I just wanted to cry because I knew my wife and my kids were, at home\u2014praying for me and supporting me\u2014but waiting for me. When I come home, I know that my kids need their daddy. So, for me\u2014<em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>\u2014we tried to make it for busy parents, like we are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Every day is three-pages long\u2014you can finish it in five minutes. Then, it gives you a challenge that you can try to tackle that day or that week; but, with us, we\u2019ve had to develop habits\u2014you know, devotion time at night. We got rid of cable in our family because I could get consumed with it and spend five hours, you know, flipping through channels. I\u2019m wasting time that I could be spending with my kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This may be three-pages long, but every one of these love dares\u2014all 40 of them\u2014is uranium-enriched.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would really challenge folks, who are looking for a core for their parenting, to get this book and go through it\u2014whether you\u2019re a single-parent\u2014you and your husband or you and your wife go through it\u2014or whether you\u2019re a blended family. Take this book\u2014and you do address blended families in here\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014which, I applaud, by the way\u2014and go through it, and begin to take the dare\u2014whether it takes you 40 days or 40 weeks\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014get in it. Go through it; and begin to build your core, as parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think the call to being proactive and intentional in this area is really what we\u2019re focused on here. It\u2019s what you\u2019re focused on in <em>The Love Dare for Parents<\/em>. It\u2019s a 40-day guidebook for a mom and a dad to turn it up\u2014to turn up the volume on the love\u2014to do a better job of expressing, to our children\u2014just how important, how valuable, how cherished they are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of <em>The Love Dare for Parents <\/em>in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. We\u2019d encourage you to go to FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order a copy of the book, online. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can request <em>The Love Dare for Parents.<\/em> We\u2019ll send it out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, when you\u2019re online, find out more about the resource that Barbara Rainey has put together for families to help all of us understand what real love looks like more effectively. It\u2019s called \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201d It takes First Corinthians 13 and allows us to\u2014together, with our children\u2014understand the biblical definition of love. Find out more about \u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201d\u2014online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpeaking of real love, Dennis, you and your wife Barbara wrote a book about marital love called <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twhich really does a great job, I think, of helping husbands and wives better understand what real love in marriage looks like and how we, as husbands, can be more effective in loving our wives; and then, how wives can be more effective in loving their husbands. In fact, the book is split into two parts so that there\u2019s a half for husbands and a half for wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, we are making that book available to those of you who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with a donation. We are listener-supported. If you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to send you <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em> by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make your donation over the phone. Ask for the book <em>Rekindling the Romance.<\/em> Or, if you\u2019d prefer, you can mail a check to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Our mailing address is P O Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas\u2014Arkansas is AR. And our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk for the book on romance when you send in your check, and we\u2019ll mail the book back to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us again tomorrow. Stephen and Alex Kendrick will join us again. We\u2019re going to talk about how we can more effectively love our children. We\u2019ll talk, tomorrow, about how one aspect of loving them well is teaching them reverence for God. I hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302924","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302924"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302924"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302924"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302924"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302924"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302924"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302924"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}