{"id":302906,"date":"2014-01-10T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-01-10T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-it-means-to-be-gods-woman\/"},"modified":"2014-01-10T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2014-01-10T17:00:00","slug":"what-it-means-to-be-gods-woman","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-it-means-to-be-gods-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"What It Means to be God&#8217;s Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Pastor Todd Wagner came up with a simple explanation of manhood and womanhood so that he could teach his children. Hear him explain the five S&#8217;s of being a woman, beginning with &#8220;&#8221;Seek God first.&#8221;&#8221;\ufffd&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-01-10.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.74M","filesize_raw":"24891880","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2855,2870],"tags":[4316,4920],"podcast_series":[7990],"cwp_profile":[9326],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302906","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens","category-tweens","tag-femininity","tag-womanhood","podcast_series-what-i-want-my-children-to-know","cwp_profile-todd-wagner","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302906\/what-it-means-to-be-gods-woman","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302906\/what-it-means-to-be-gods-woman","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"cVv28j5adS\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-it-means-to-be-gods-woman\/\">What It Means to be God&#8217;s Woman<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-it-means-to-be-gods-woman\/embed\/#?secret=cVv28j5adS\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What It Means to be God&#8217;s Woman&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"cVv28j5adS\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-01-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-01-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Men and women have different responsibilities in a marriage relationship; but one responsibility that both share is the responsibility of holding one another accountable to live God-honoring lives. Here\u2019s Pastor Todd Wagner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> The best thing I do to lead my wife is\u2014I just say: \u201cSweetie, when I\u2019m not listening to you, why don\u2019t you come to me? Don\u2019t surprise me by telling everybody else. Tell me first. But if I\u2019m going to try to talk you out of believing what you see as true, then, you need to help other people let me hear what you are saying.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a community of friends that we talk about this stuff. I know\u2014when Alex shares with them about something I need to excel still more in\u2014it\u2019s not because she\u2019s trying to tear me down. It\u2019s because she loves me and wants me to be the man that God created me to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, January 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Todd Wagner joins us today to talk about how important it is for moms and dads to live out what godly manhood\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand godly womanhood looks like in a marriage relationship. It\u2019s part of how we raise the next generation. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019m still worn out from what we\u2019ve been talking about this week. I may just need to rest over in the corner. I mean, this is\u2014we\u2019re kind of tackling an issue that\u2019s right at the core of what we need to be all about, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ll tell you\u2014God gave us children\u2014and He gave us children to help them become the young men and young women to represent Him in the next generation. We, as parents, bear the responsibility to do everything we can in the length of time that we have them to shape their lives. I\u2019m grateful that we\u2019ve got a pastor from the Dallas\/Fort Worth area, Todd Wagner, joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Todd, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> It\u2019s good to be here, Dennis. Bob\u2014hello. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Thanks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Todd is, indeed, a pastor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe is the founding pastor of Watermark Community Church in Dallas. He and his wife, Alex, have been married since 1991\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u201991. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and have six children, all the way from fourth grade to junior in college? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, sir. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got a spread. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You just kind of turned your billfold and your checkbook over to the university, unless you\u2019ve got smart kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> [Laughter] I\u2019m starting to do that, yes\u2014a third of the way there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re talking about how you, as a dad, decided you wanted to build your sons in an intentional way of becoming God\u2019s men and the same for your daughters. Where did you start with your daughters? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Well, you know, Bob, you said this. You feel kind of worn out just at this idea: \u201cHow do I raise a godly woman\u2014especially, if you\u2019re a dad?\u201d You know, \u201cI don\u2019t know. I\u2019m trying to love the woman God gave me; but maybe, I\u2019ll let Mom do that.\u201d Well, we can\u2019t. We, as dads, have a role\u2014moms and dads together. My wife and I use these things together; but sometimes, we are frozen by the fear of being overwhelmed with what\u2019s before us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just wanted to make it as simple as I could. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let me stop you there, though. Did Alex help you develop these five qualities that you want to produce in your daughters? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, thank you. I gave her editing privileges. I go: \u201cSweetie, here are the five things I\u2019ve come up with, as I was just sitting today, thinking about what we have to do\u2014and just, as a guy\u2014just trying to lead out and not say: \u2018They\u2019re girls. You take them. I\u2019ll just give them away at the altar a few years from now.\u2019\u201d [Laughter] I didn\u2019t do that. I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to take a shot at this thing.\u201d But I did. I went to her. I said \u201cSweetie, are these good? Do these capture\u2014are they big enough that <em>everything<\/em> that God wants a woman to be to fit underneath them?\u201d She\u2019s, at least, signed off on them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, the two of you own these together. They kind of became your marching orders for what you attempted to build into your daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, sir. That\u2019s right. We\u2019ve used all the other great stuff\u2014I mean, anybody, who\u2019s a fan of FamilyLife, knows that there is great material that they have to look at\u2014to take your kids away for a weekend\u2014use all that material. But we wanted something, also, in addition to that that was simple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat we could transfer to them as they walk through life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI, as a dad, specifically\u2014I think I had a real advantage to raising a godly little girl because I knew\u2014I\u2019d been around women for a long time that were susceptible to men. You know, I wanted to make sure that I raised little girls that were going to be secure\u2014they were going to have their identity in something more than some guy validating them. So, that\u2019s the very first characteristic that I talked about with my little girls. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In other words\u2014how to relate to the opposite sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, or how to have dignity without a <em>need<\/em> for the opposite sex or anything in this life to validate them. <br><br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, the first thing you say is, \u201cSeek God first.\u201d What you are saying in that is: \u201cFind who you are in what God says about you\u2014not in what your friends or in what some guy is going to say is true about you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. What I\u2019ve done with every one of these is\u2014there is a little explanation for the buzz phrase. So, \u201cSeek God First,\u201d is the buzz phrase. The definition that they memorize is: \u201cReject the lie that anything or anyone else can satisfy you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour body image\u2014some guy saying, \u201cWill you be my girlfriend?\u201d\u2014all the way down to second grade, \u201cWill you go with me?\u201d Okay: \u201cWell, where is he going to take you? What are you going to do when you get there? Why do you have to go with him to feel like you are something special in this classroom?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven when my girls were little and that girlfriend\/boyfriend thing was going on, I gave them words to use. We would role play, all the time, how to handle that question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, how\u2014take me to a role play. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What would that look like at your house? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, excellent. Like on that particular deal\u2014when someone says, \u201cHey, will you be my girlfriend?\u201d\u2014what I said to my little girls was, \u201cWell, how would you think you should answer that?\u201d I said: \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what. Why don\u2019t I be the little girl and you be the boy? You ask me to be your girlfriend.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, they did it. They just would ask me. And I would just\u2014I would be silly. They\u2019d laugh, you know? Just let them, \u201cA\u201d\u2014number one\u2014they get to see their dad have fun. Number two, they\u2019re now learning without a lecture. We\u2019re just rolling through life together; but I would just say: \u201cHey, I want to be friends with everybody. So, yes, you\u2019re a boy that I want to be a friend with; but if you are asking me, \u2018Am I going to make you a special friend?\u2019\u201d\u2014and by the way, this goes with the girlfriends, too; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t call people \u201cbest friends\u201d because how does it make everybody else feel, immediately? So, I just said, \u201cLook, we\u2019re going to say: \u2018You\u2019re my good friend, and I want to be a good friend to everybody.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I\u2019ll tell you what was really interesting\u2014what really encouraged me. I\u2019ll give you a story about how this ended up playing out for Allie, my oldest, when she went to Oklahoma State. She got up there. She decided to go through and be involved with the sorority scene. One of the very first mixers that her sorority had with another fraternity was what they called a stoplight party. So, you may or may not have heard of these. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Basically, it\u2019s\u2014you go and you\u2019re supposed to wear red, yellow, or green. Red meant: \u201cHey, I\u2019m already taken. I\u2019m not available. So stop any kind of movement toward me.\u201d Yellow meant: \u201cIt\u2019s complicated. I\u2019m not saying, \u2018No way, but I\u2019m not completely available.\u2019\u201d And green was like: \u201cHey, I\u2019m all-go, and I\u2019m ready. I hope I meet somebody; and we can move forward, at this intersection, into a lot more life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, she called me at this. She said, \u201cDad, guess what I wore?\u201d I go, \u201cTell me.\u201d She said, \u201cI wore white.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI go, \u201cYou wore white?!\u201d She goes: \u201cYes, when we got there, they broke us up into three rooms. The red people were together. The yellow people were together, and the green people were together. I was the only person who wasn\u2019t wearing red, yellow, or green.\u201d So, I go, \u201cWhere did you go?\u201d She goes: \u201cI went in every room, and I met everybody! People kept asking me, \u2018Why are you wearing white?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cI got a chance, Dad, to look at them and say, \u2018Hey, look, I\u2019m not defined by my relationships. I\u2019m defined by another relationship.\u2019\u201d She had a chance to engage folks in all kinds of conversation. She said, \u201cThe number one comment I got is: \u2018If we ever do one of these again, I\u2019m wearing white.\u2019\u201d Allie just said, \u201cWell, let me just tell you\u2014this is why I\u2019m wearing it.\u201d She went back and shared some of this stuff in a very simple, relational, conversational way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that happened because of what started when she was in the second grade and you were having those conversations. That\u2019s not something that comes to you, as a freshman in college. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. It happened because she was going to reject the lie that she was going to be defined by a relationship with somebody in some fraternity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I really like where you are starting because it\u2019s talking about their spiritual identity being in place so they know who\u2019s they are\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and who they are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And your daughter\u2014what a courageous young lady to wear white. Let\u2019s talk about this second one here: \u201cSpeak Faithfully.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, that one was because I wanted them to know anything that I am is because I am yoked to a woman that is the completer that God has given me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, we talk about the Proverbs 31 woman and how it talks about in there that the teaching of kindness is on her tongue; but she does open her mouth for the rights of the unfortunate. But specifically, I just said, \u201cListen, part of your role is to be a completer of your friends and an encouragement to others. So, even when you are not a leader in a specific organization or in a family relationship, because you are subject to them in honor, what you have to realize, though, is that you are still subject to serve them the way that God says you should serve them. So, your husband, your dad, your friends, need you to speak to them with godly wisdom, boldness, and in kindness\u2014be a faithful completer of others.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, what I hear you saying, in all this, is a woman is a life-giver. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> You bet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She needs to use her words to bring life to those that she has relationships with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I couldn\u2019t agree more. I will tell you\u2014if I am leading my family \/ leading my church\u2014I am who I am, as a friend and as a man, because I\u2019ve got a woman who loves me enough to push me toward God\u2019s best. If you are going to be a godly woman, that doesn\u2019t mean you sit there silently and just pray. It\u2019s because you pray that you speak faithfully to others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m looking at you and looking at the platform that God\u2019s given you and the personality that God\u2019s given you. I\u2019m just wondering about Alex speaking faithfully to you. I mean, it takes\u2014you are a passionate, driven guy. Does she have to kind of get in your face and go: \u201cTodd, hang on. Listen to me,\u201d or are you seeking that out from her? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, I try and seek it out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut because I am a guy who doesn\u2019t always abide with the Spirit, she has to do what she has to do to get in my face. So, like I think I said earlier is\u2014that the best thing I do to lead my wife is\u2014I just say: \u201cSweetie, when I\u2019m not listening to you, why don\u2019t you come to me? Don\u2019t surprise me by telling everybody else. Tell me first. But if I\u2019m going to try to talk you out of believing what you see as true, then, you need to help other people let me hear what you are saying.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a community of friends\u2014our family of Christ-followers\u2014that we\u2019re in life with\u2014that we talk about this stuff. I know\u2014when Alex shares with them about something I need to excel still more in\u2014it\u2019s not because she\u2019s trying to tear me down. It\u2019s because she loves me and wants me to be the man that God created me to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I give my daughters a vision for that, as well. I\u2019ve raised some daughters that aren\u2019t afraid to tell dad, faithfully, what he can do to be a better dad or husband. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Have there been instances where Alex has had to get somebody to come along and say, \u201cYou know, Todd, I don\u2019t think you are listening to your wife.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> You bet. I mean, there have been plenty of times when I have this kind of logic, as a leader, which is: \u201cThe problem is that you feel this way. If you didn\u2019t feel this way, we wouldn\u2019t have a problem!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> She has had to just say, \u201cWell, listen, if I am feeling this way because I\u2019m in an emotional black hole or am an especially needy person, then, I want to understand that.\u201d In a way, that is very humble. She\u2019ll say, \u201cListen, if this is something about how I need to change, tell me; but we\u2019d love to have somebody else come in and evaluate this.\u201d I always know when it gets to that level\u2014that the way that conversation is going to start\u2014with me saying: \u201cWe really shouldn\u2019t have gotten to this place. I have not been listening and leading well. I need to step up and get the log out of my own eye.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. I like the way you put that because your wife is bringing life to you by speaking the truth to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> It\u2019s always out of love. I mean, she really wants me to be the man that God created me to be. That\u2019s what I want my little girls to know: \u201cPeople are not going to be the people that God wants them to be \/ our society is not going to be the culture God wants it to be unless you, as a godly woman, fulfill your role to love them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Women are powerful. They are powerful, regardless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Powerful and essential. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But when they are doing this\u2014when they are seeking God first, and they are speaking faithfully, and they are bringing life to their friends, to their community, to their husband\u2014I think they are in the middle of God\u2019s design for how He made them and truly are the most powerful when they are doing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I couldn\u2019t agree more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You also encourage dads and moms to call their daughters to show\u2014you call it true beauty. You are talking about the countercultural idea that beauty is more than just skin deep; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That it is. I love the little phrase that goes with the third thing\u2014which is: \u201cShow True Beauty,\u201d\u2014is that: \u201cBodies deteriorate\u2014persons develop. Invest in that which lasts.\u201d So, listen, there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself\u2014exercising, eating well\u2014but make sure that you don\u2019t give yourself the fleeting things. This is what we find all through Scripture\u2014that bodily discipline is a sum game\u2014but spiritual discipline is of greater gain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur world will validate you if you are physically beautiful, but it\u2019ll also write you off if you don\u2019t meet their picture of beauty. So, you see all these things tie together: You\u2019ve got to \u201cSeek God First,\u201d\u2014what\u2019s His definition of beauty? What\u2019s it mean to live for the ultimate audience? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell my little girls this\u2014I said, \u201cListen\u201d\u2014my wife helps my girls pick out their clothes, and wrestles with them, initially; but Dad is always the one that they see before they go out the door. I love my little girls. I just tell them: \u201cListen, if you want to win a man through physical attraction or even physical gratification, you can be sure you\u2019re going to lose a man for the exact same reason. If that\u2019s the kind of man you attract, that man will eventually leave you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, these are attributes we started in elementary school. They are never too late to show up, but it does change the game when you start to interject later in life. That\u2019s why I tried to initiate on this stuff early. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019ve kind of been camping on not turning heads\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut really, a part of this is turning hearts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014cultivating the real beauty\u2014the internal beauty. How did you challenge your daughters to do that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you. My oldest little girl, Allie\u2014when she was little, she had this incredibly beautiful blonde hair. Sometimes, we\u2019d be out places. Folks would stop; and they would just say, \u201cShe is one of the most beautiful, little kids I have ever seen!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI gave her words, right then, to say\u2014even, as a little girl. I had her look and go, \u201cThank you very much.\u201d Then, I would have her either say this\u2014or I would probably say, \u201cAllie, tell them what the most beautiful part of you is.\u201d She would respond\u2014she\u2019d say: \u201cI hope the most beautiful part of me is the way that I love and treat others. I hope it\u2019s my heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, even with complete strangers, we would go through that little exchange, right then, where I would say: \u201cHey, thank you so much. She is a beautiful little girl, but you need to know the most beautiful part of my little girl is her heart and her kindness.\u201d Then, I would also sometimes just let her feed that line: \u201cAllie, tell them what I tell you <em>all the time<\/em> is the most beautiful part of you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe would then say: \u201cIt\u2019s my heart. It\u2019s the way that I love others.\u201d So, we tried to build it into them that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, these last two: \u201cStay Humble,\u201d and \u201cServe the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we\u2019ve heard these before because it\u2019s the same as what you have for young men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, because all of us\u2014don\u2019t we need to be vigilant against pride? I tell my little girls: \u201cStay humble. Be constantly aware of pride and selfishness. \u2018Don\u2019t think less of yourself;\u2019\u201d\u2014there it is\u2014\u201cthink of yourself less.\u201d A lot of this was teaching her to take a compliment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I told my little girls: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to learn, when somebody says something to you, you don\u2019t guffaw and \u2018Ah, shucks,\u2019 and turn away. Look them, right in the eye, and go, \u2018Thank you so much. That is very, very kind.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s part of humility\u2014is not saying that there aren\u2019t certain aspects of you that are beautiful\u2014but realizing that, ultimately, at the end of the day, what\u2019s really going to make you beautiful is the way you care for other people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, as you are talking, I\u2019m thinking back to the first day of fifth grade. I wore to school, on the first day of fifth grade, some of the hippest clothes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had ever worn in my life. I\u2019ll never forget this. It was back in the day when flared-out, bell bottom pants were big; and I had a polka dot shirt to match it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And Bobby Lepine had showed up this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This was styling! Somebody said to me\u2014said, \u201cThat\u2019s a nice-looking shirt.\u201d My response was, \u201cIt is; isn\u2019t it?\u201d Now, that person turned and looked at me when I said that. They said, \u201cYou are so conceited!\u201d I thought, \u201cI didn\u2019t make this shirt.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> And, \u201cI wasn\u2019t the one who handed out the original compliment.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. But it was one of those things where I had to recalibrate because I was just trying to say: \u201cYes, it is a good-looking shirt. My mom picked it up; and I kind of like it, too;\u201d but I had to learn that there was a pride issue in my own heart, in even saying that. I was getting puffed up with that. We can shrink away, sometimes\u2014and like you said, do the guffaw\u2014do the: \u201cOh, it\u2019s not really,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a false humility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we can also get a little puffed up, and we need to recognize that\u2019s the predisposition of our heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> It is. I think the other thing in this \u201cStay Humble\u201d idea\u2014and again, I\u2019ve made these broad enough that anything can fit under them\u2014but just help them remember that all their friends were not raised with a dad\u2014that at some point\u2014and a mom had sat down and thought through these things. So, if there is, in their life, protection or wisdom that others don\u2019t have, realize, they can still learn and need to acknowledge the source of the true beauty that God\u2019s given them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really want my kids to know that: \u201cThis is who God looks for,\u201d by the way, anyway. \u201cThis is the kind of woman that God uses\u2014the one who is humble and contrite in spirit\u2014who \u2018trembles at My Word\u2019\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOh, I\u2019ll give you one quick story that kind of ties some of these together. Recently, my second daughter\u2014who is a freshman, down at Texas A&amp;M\u2014she was down there. They were actually at kind of what they call a Fish Camp or Impact. There was a panel of men that were up there\u2014talking to girls about how they were to handle different things in college\u2014and questions were being asked. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKirby turned and said, \u201cYou know, Dad, I just couldn\u2019t believe that nobody was giving a response that was rooted and grounded in Scripture, even though in this particular forum, it was supposed to be. I started to want to say something; but I go\u2014before I spoke\u2014I wanted to make sure I spoke faithfully, with humility. So, the very first thing I said, when I spoke, was to quote some Scripture; but I did it completely different because I realized that, maybe, I had been given some preparation and equipping that put me in a different spot, with a different responsibility\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut not just to blast people with that.\u201d So, to\u2014even when you are loving others\u2014to do it out of a sense of: \u201cHey, I\u2019ve been given this gift. I want to share it in a way that makes knowledge acceptable\u201d\u2014as the Proverbs say. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Todd, I love what you\u2019ve done\u2014not only with the list here for young ladies but, also, for the guys\u2014of really exhorting parents to think through: \u201cWhat are you building here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow are you uniquely equipping your daughters to become all that God created them to be\u2014and the same for your sons?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve put it simply. I\u2019m going to give people the license I gave them, earlier, on the broadcast. Pick one of Todd\u2019s five\u2014that he and Alex have hammered out here\u2014and steal one of the five for your daughter. Begin to build that into your daughter; and then, begin to add more. Come up with your own list of five. But begin to purposely take the Scriptures to your daughter in bite-sized portions so that they can begin to take hold of life\u2014find who God is\u2014and apply Him to their lives as they are growing up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I just want to say, \u201cThanks for\u2014not only being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> here, Todd\u2014but thanks for being a supporter of building godly marriages and families in the Dallas\/Fort Worth area.\u201d I know Watermark has a phenomenal marriage and family ministry. Really appreciate you and just pray God\u2019s favor upon you and the great ministry of Watermark. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Dennis \/ Bob, I am grateful for FamilyLife. A lot of what I\u2019ve come up with is because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve learned from men like you and ministries like yours. Again, our encouragement\u2014we\u2019ll put this stuff down on your website so people can go and look at it. But again, our encouragement is not that you would love our words but love the Word\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014that makes you write books like <em>Stepping Up<\/em> for guys and put materials together. Everything that I know you do, and that I\u2019m trying to do, is to drive people back to the ultimate source that raises godly men\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014and godly women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and the great thing about this list, that you put together is\u2014not only do you define what you are saying\u2014but I\u2019m thinking each of these character qualities for young men and young women can be a conversation at the dinner table with the whole family: \u201cHey, let\u2019s talk about what it would look like for us to seek God first. What would it look like for a daughter to do that?\u201d And you can unpack it. You can look at the Scriptures together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Or a dad could take each of these five\u2014and you\u2019ve got five dates there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> There you go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He could take each one of these and say, \u201cYou know, Sweetie, over the next five weeks, we\u2019re going to have a date [one night each week]. We\u2019re going to talk about each of these five that I just pulled off of FamilyLife\u2019s website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe\u2019re going to talk, practically, about how that fits in your life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got 40 verses\u2014there are 40 drives to school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, right now. You can download what we\u2019re talking about and have it available for devotions, for dinner tonight, or for the next trip to school. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to get what we\u2019ve been talking about with Todd Wagner this week\u2014again, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd while you are talking about taking your daughters out on dates, why don\u2019t you plan to do something special with your son on the day before the Super Bowl<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>? If your son is a teenager or a young man, why don\u2019t you plan that the two of you will take part in the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup>Super Saturday event in your community? I don\u2019t know for sure that there\u2019s going to be one in your community, but there could be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click on the link for men, <em>Stepping Up. <\/em>It shows all the locations, across the country, where the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> Super Saturday one-day event is being hosted\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ton Saturday, February 1<sup>st<\/sup>, the day before the Super Bowl. You can plan to join with other guys and go through this material\u2014four sessions on that Saturday. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link for men, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, to get more information. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there is not an event currently scheduled in your community, there is still time for you to get the material and host one in your church or anywhere in your community. In fact, you\u2019ll get the information you need, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com for how you can host one of these events. We\u2019ve got coaches available to answer any questions you might have about hosting an event, or you can do this in your home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve come up with the FamilyLife <em>Stepping Up<\/em> Super Saturday home edition. Here\u2019s how it works\u2014you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click the men <em>Stepping Up<\/em> link, order a manual or a set of manuals\u2014maybe, you want to go through this with your sons; or maybe, you want to get your small group together in your home and all of you guys go through the materials together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou order the manuals you need. We will give you an access code that will give you access to the video content, online, over the course of the weekend. It\u2019ll be available on the 1<sup>st<\/sup> and on the 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. So, you can do it however fits your schedule\u2014and you guys can go through this material together. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link for men, <em>Stepping Up,<\/em> and find out about the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> Super Saturday home edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just, finally, say: \u201cI hope a bunch of guys will follow up Super Saturday by going through the ten-week series that FamilyLife has put together. It\u2019s a ten-week video series. Like Super Saturday, the ten-week series features Dennis Rainey, and Crawford Loritts, and Voddie Baucham, Stu Weber, and Robert Lewis, and Matt Chandler, and Joshua Harris\u2014other guys talking about what godly manhood is all about.\u201d Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about all that we have available for Super Saturday and, then, the ongoing <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us. Hope you and your family can worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk to a wife who wants to challenge other wives to respect their husbands. She has put together a 40-day respect dare. We\u2019ll talk about it Monday. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.74M"],"filesize_raw":["24891880"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302906.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302906.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Todd Wagner came up with a simple explanation of manhood and womanhood so that he could teach his children. Hear him explain the five S's of being a woman, beginning with \"\"Seek God first.\"\"\ufffd\"","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2014-01-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Men and women have different responsibilities in a marriage relationship; but one responsibility that both share is the responsibility of holding one another accountable to live God-honoring lives. Here\u2019s Pastor Todd Wagner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> The best thing I do to lead my wife is\u2014I just say: \u201cSweetie, when I\u2019m not listening to you, why don\u2019t you come to me? Don\u2019t surprise me by telling everybody else. Tell me first. But if I\u2019m going to try to talk you out of believing what you see as true, then, you need to help other people let me hear what you are saying.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a community of friends that we talk about this stuff. I know\u2014when Alex shares with them about something I need to excel still more in\u2014it\u2019s not because she\u2019s trying to tear me down. It\u2019s because she loves me and wants me to be the man that God created me to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, January 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Todd Wagner joins us today to talk about how important it is for moms and dads to live out what godly manhood\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand godly womanhood looks like in a marriage relationship. It\u2019s part of how we raise the next generation. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019m still worn out from what we\u2019ve been talking about this week. I may just need to rest over in the corner. I mean, this is\u2014we\u2019re kind of tackling an issue that\u2019s right at the core of what we need to be all about, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ll tell you\u2014God gave us children\u2014and He gave us children to help them become the young men and young women to represent Him in the next generation. We, as parents, bear the responsibility to do everything we can in the length of time that we have them to shape their lives. I\u2019m grateful that we\u2019ve got a pastor from the Dallas\/Fort Worth area, Todd Wagner, joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Todd, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> It\u2019s good to be here, Dennis. Bob\u2014hello. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Thanks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Todd is, indeed, a pastor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe is the founding pastor of Watermark Community Church in Dallas. He and his wife, Alex, have been married since 1991\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u201991. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and have six children, all the way from fourth grade to junior in college? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, sir. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got a spread. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You just kind of turned your billfold and your checkbook over to the university, unless you\u2019ve got smart kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> [Laughter] I\u2019m starting to do that, yes\u2014a third of the way there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re talking about how you, as a dad, decided you wanted to build your sons in an intentional way of becoming God\u2019s men and the same for your daughters. Where did you start with your daughters? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Well, you know, Bob, you said this. You feel kind of worn out just at this idea: \u201cHow do I raise a godly woman\u2014especially, if you\u2019re a dad?\u201d You know, \u201cI don\u2019t know. I\u2019m trying to love the woman God gave me; but maybe, I\u2019ll let Mom do that.\u201d Well, we can\u2019t. We, as dads, have a role\u2014moms and dads together. My wife and I use these things together; but sometimes, we are frozen by the fear of being overwhelmed with what\u2019s before us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just wanted to make it as simple as I could. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let me stop you there, though. Did Alex help you develop these five qualities that you want to produce in your daughters? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, thank you. I gave her editing privileges. I go: \u201cSweetie, here are the five things I\u2019ve come up with, as I was just sitting today, thinking about what we have to do\u2014and just, as a guy\u2014just trying to lead out and not say: \u2018They\u2019re girls. You take them. I\u2019ll just give them away at the altar a few years from now.\u2019\u201d [Laughter] I didn\u2019t do that. I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to take a shot at this thing.\u201d But I did. I went to her. I said \u201cSweetie, are these good? Do these capture\u2014are they big enough that <em>everything<\/em> that God wants a woman to be to fit underneath them?\u201d She\u2019s, at least, signed off on them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, the two of you own these together. They kind of became your marching orders for what you attempted to build into your daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, sir. That\u2019s right. We\u2019ve used all the other great stuff\u2014I mean, anybody, who\u2019s a fan of FamilyLife, knows that there is great material that they have to look at\u2014to take your kids away for a weekend\u2014use all that material. But we wanted something, also, in addition to that that was simple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat we could transfer to them as they walk through life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI, as a dad, specifically\u2014I think I had a real advantage to raising a godly little girl because I knew\u2014I\u2019d been around women for a long time that were susceptible to men. You know, I wanted to make sure that I raised little girls that were going to be secure\u2014they were going to have their identity in something more than some guy validating them. So, that\u2019s the very first characteristic that I talked about with my little girls. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In other words\u2014how to relate to the opposite sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, or how to have dignity without a <em>need<\/em> for the opposite sex or anything in this life to validate them. <br><br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, the first thing you say is, \u201cSeek God first.\u201d What you are saying in that is: \u201cFind who you are in what God says about you\u2014not in what your friends or in what some guy is going to say is true about you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. What I\u2019ve done with every one of these is\u2014there is a little explanation for the buzz phrase. So, \u201cSeek God First,\u201d is the buzz phrase. The definition that they memorize is: \u201cReject the lie that anything or anyone else can satisfy you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour body image\u2014some guy saying, \u201cWill you be my girlfriend?\u201d\u2014all the way down to second grade, \u201cWill you go with me?\u201d Okay: \u201cWell, where is he going to take you? What are you going to do when you get there? Why do you have to go with him to feel like you are something special in this classroom?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven when my girls were little and that girlfriend\/boyfriend thing was going on, I gave them words to use. We would role play, all the time, how to handle that question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, how\u2014take me to a role play. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What would that look like at your house? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, excellent. Like on that particular deal\u2014when someone says, \u201cHey, will you be my girlfriend?\u201d\u2014what I said to my little girls was, \u201cWell, how would you think you should answer that?\u201d I said: \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what. Why don\u2019t I be the little girl and you be the boy? You ask me to be your girlfriend.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, they did it. They just would ask me. And I would just\u2014I would be silly. They\u2019d laugh, you know? Just let them, \u201cA\u201d\u2014number one\u2014they get to see their dad have fun. Number two, they\u2019re now learning without a lecture. We\u2019re just rolling through life together; but I would just say: \u201cHey, I want to be friends with everybody. So, yes, you\u2019re a boy that I want to be a friend with; but if you are asking me, \u2018Am I going to make you a special friend?\u2019\u201d\u2014and by the way, this goes with the girlfriends, too; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t call people \u201cbest friends\u201d because how does it make everybody else feel, immediately? So, I just said, \u201cLook, we\u2019re going to say: \u2018You\u2019re my good friend, and I want to be a good friend to everybody.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I\u2019ll tell you what was really interesting\u2014what really encouraged me. I\u2019ll give you a story about how this ended up playing out for Allie, my oldest, when she went to Oklahoma State. She got up there. She decided to go through and be involved with the sorority scene. One of the very first mixers that her sorority had with another fraternity was what they called a stoplight party. So, you may or may not have heard of these. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Basically, it\u2019s\u2014you go and you\u2019re supposed to wear red, yellow, or green. Red meant: \u201cHey, I\u2019m already taken. I\u2019m not available. So stop any kind of movement toward me.\u201d Yellow meant: \u201cIt\u2019s complicated. I\u2019m not saying, \u2018No way, but I\u2019m not completely available.\u2019\u201d And green was like: \u201cHey, I\u2019m all-go, and I\u2019m ready. I hope I meet somebody; and we can move forward, at this intersection, into a lot more life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, she called me at this. She said, \u201cDad, guess what I wore?\u201d I go, \u201cTell me.\u201d She said, \u201cI wore white.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI go, \u201cYou wore white?!\u201d She goes: \u201cYes, when we got there, they broke us up into three rooms. The red people were together. The yellow people were together, and the green people were together. I was the only person who wasn\u2019t wearing red, yellow, or green.\u201d So, I go, \u201cWhere did you go?\u201d She goes: \u201cI went in every room, and I met everybody! People kept asking me, \u2018Why are you wearing white?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cI got a chance, Dad, to look at them and say, \u2018Hey, look, I\u2019m not defined by my relationships. I\u2019m defined by another relationship.\u2019\u201d She had a chance to engage folks in all kinds of conversation. She said, \u201cThe number one comment I got is: \u2018If we ever do one of these again, I\u2019m wearing white.\u2019\u201d Allie just said, \u201cWell, let me just tell you\u2014this is why I\u2019m wearing it.\u201d She went back and shared some of this stuff in a very simple, relational, conversational way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that happened because of what started when she was in the second grade and you were having those conversations. That\u2019s not something that comes to you, as a freshman in college. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. It happened because she was going to reject the lie that she was going to be defined by a relationship with somebody in some fraternity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I really like where you are starting because it\u2019s talking about their spiritual identity being in place so they know who\u2019s they are\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and who they are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And your daughter\u2014what a courageous young lady to wear white. Let\u2019s talk about this second one here: \u201cSpeak Faithfully.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, that one was because I wanted them to know anything that I am is because I am yoked to a woman that is the completer that God has given me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, we talk about the Proverbs 31 woman and how it talks about in there that the teaching of kindness is on her tongue; but she does open her mouth for the rights of the unfortunate. But specifically, I just said, \u201cListen, part of your role is to be a completer of your friends and an encouragement to others. So, even when you are not a leader in a specific organization or in a family relationship, because you are subject to them in honor, what you have to realize, though, is that you are still subject to serve them the way that God says you should serve them. So, your husband, your dad, your friends, need you to speak to them with godly wisdom, boldness, and in kindness\u2014be a faithful completer of others.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, what I hear you saying, in all this, is a woman is a life-giver. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> You bet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She needs to use her words to bring life to those that she has relationships with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I couldn\u2019t agree more. I will tell you\u2014if I am leading my family \/ leading my church\u2014I am who I am, as a friend and as a man, because I\u2019ve got a woman who loves me enough to push me toward God\u2019s best. If you are going to be a godly woman, that doesn\u2019t mean you sit there silently and just pray. It\u2019s because you pray that you speak faithfully to others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m looking at you and looking at the platform that God\u2019s given you and the personality that God\u2019s given you. I\u2019m just wondering about Alex speaking faithfully to you. I mean, it takes\u2014you are a passionate, driven guy. Does she have to kind of get in your face and go: \u201cTodd, hang on. Listen to me,\u201d or are you seeking that out from her? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, I try and seek it out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut because I am a guy who doesn\u2019t always abide with the Spirit, she has to do what she has to do to get in my face. So, like I think I said earlier is\u2014that the best thing I do to lead my wife is\u2014I just say: \u201cSweetie, when I\u2019m not listening to you, why don\u2019t you come to me? Don\u2019t surprise me by telling everybody else. Tell me first. But if I\u2019m going to try to talk you out of believing what you see as true, then, you need to help other people let me hear what you are saying.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a community of friends\u2014our family of Christ-followers\u2014that we\u2019re in life with\u2014that we talk about this stuff. I know\u2014when Alex shares with them about something I need to excel still more in\u2014it\u2019s not because she\u2019s trying to tear me down. It\u2019s because she loves me and wants me to be the man that God created me to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I give my daughters a vision for that, as well. I\u2019ve raised some daughters that aren\u2019t afraid to tell dad, faithfully, what he can do to be a better dad or husband. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Have there been instances where Alex has had to get somebody to come along and say, \u201cYou know, Todd, I don\u2019t think you are listening to your wife.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> You bet. I mean, there have been plenty of times when I have this kind of logic, as a leader, which is: \u201cThe problem is that you feel this way. If you didn\u2019t feel this way, we wouldn\u2019t have a problem!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> She has had to just say, \u201cWell, listen, if I am feeling this way because I\u2019m in an emotional black hole or am an especially needy person, then, I want to understand that.\u201d In a way, that is very humble. She\u2019ll say, \u201cListen, if this is something about how I need to change, tell me; but we\u2019d love to have somebody else come in and evaluate this.\u201d I always know when it gets to that level\u2014that the way that conversation is going to start\u2014with me saying: \u201cWe really shouldn\u2019t have gotten to this place. I have not been listening and leading well. I need to step up and get the log out of my own eye.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. I like the way you put that because your wife is bringing life to you by speaking the truth to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> It\u2019s always out of love. I mean, she really wants me to be the man that God created me to be. That\u2019s what I want my little girls to know: \u201cPeople are not going to be the people that God wants them to be \/ our society is not going to be the culture God wants it to be unless you, as a godly woman, fulfill your role to love them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Women are powerful. They are powerful, regardless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Powerful and essential. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But when they are doing this\u2014when they are seeking God first, and they are speaking faithfully, and they are bringing life to their friends, to their community, to their husband\u2014I think they are in the middle of God\u2019s design for how He made them and truly are the most powerful when they are doing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I couldn\u2019t agree more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You also encourage dads and moms to call their daughters to show\u2014you call it true beauty. You are talking about the countercultural idea that beauty is more than just skin deep; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That it is. I love the little phrase that goes with the third thing\u2014which is: \u201cShow True Beauty,\u201d\u2014is that: \u201cBodies deteriorate\u2014persons develop. Invest in that which lasts.\u201d So, listen, there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself\u2014exercising, eating well\u2014but make sure that you don\u2019t give yourself the fleeting things. This is what we find all through Scripture\u2014that bodily discipline is a sum game\u2014but spiritual discipline is of greater gain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur world will validate you if you are physically beautiful, but it\u2019ll also write you off if you don\u2019t meet their picture of beauty. So, you see all these things tie together: You\u2019ve got to \u201cSeek God First,\u201d\u2014what\u2019s His definition of beauty? What\u2019s it mean to live for the ultimate audience? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell my little girls this\u2014I said, \u201cListen\u201d\u2014my wife helps my girls pick out their clothes, and wrestles with them, initially; but Dad is always the one that they see before they go out the door. I love my little girls. I just tell them: \u201cListen, if you want to win a man through physical attraction or even physical gratification, you can be sure you\u2019re going to lose a man for the exact same reason. If that\u2019s the kind of man you attract, that man will eventually leave you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, these are attributes we started in elementary school. They are never too late to show up, but it does change the game when you start to interject later in life. That\u2019s why I tried to initiate on this stuff early. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019ve kind of been camping on not turning heads\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut really, a part of this is turning hearts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014cultivating the real beauty\u2014the internal beauty. How did you challenge your daughters to do that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you. My oldest little girl, Allie\u2014when she was little, she had this incredibly beautiful blonde hair. Sometimes, we\u2019d be out places. Folks would stop; and they would just say, \u201cShe is one of the most beautiful, little kids I have ever seen!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI gave her words, right then, to say\u2014even, as a little girl. I had her look and go, \u201cThank you very much.\u201d Then, I would have her either say this\u2014or I would probably say, \u201cAllie, tell them what the most beautiful part of you is.\u201d She would respond\u2014she\u2019d say: \u201cI hope the most beautiful part of me is the way that I love and treat others. I hope it\u2019s my heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, even with complete strangers, we would go through that little exchange, right then, where I would say: \u201cHey, thank you so much. She is a beautiful little girl, but you need to know the most beautiful part of my little girl is her heart and her kindness.\u201d Then, I would also sometimes just let her feed that line: \u201cAllie, tell them what I tell you <em>all the time<\/em> is the most beautiful part of you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe would then say: \u201cIt\u2019s my heart. It\u2019s the way that I love others.\u201d So, we tried to build it into them that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, these last two: \u201cStay Humble,\u201d and \u201cServe the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we\u2019ve heard these before because it\u2019s the same as what you have for young men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes, because all of us\u2014don\u2019t we need to be vigilant against pride? I tell my little girls: \u201cStay humble. Be constantly aware of pride and selfishness. \u2018Don\u2019t think less of yourself;\u2019\u201d\u2014there it is\u2014\u201cthink of yourself less.\u201d A lot of this was teaching her to take a compliment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I told my little girls: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to learn, when somebody says something to you, you don\u2019t guffaw and \u2018Ah, shucks,\u2019 and turn away. Look them, right in the eye, and go, \u2018Thank you so much. That is very, very kind.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s part of humility\u2014is not saying that there aren\u2019t certain aspects of you that are beautiful\u2014but realizing that, ultimately, at the end of the day, what\u2019s really going to make you beautiful is the way you care for other people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, as you are talking, I\u2019m thinking back to the first day of fifth grade. I wore to school, on the first day of fifth grade, some of the hippest clothes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had ever worn in my life. I\u2019ll never forget this. It was back in the day when flared-out, bell bottom pants were big; and I had a polka dot shirt to match it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And Bobby Lepine had showed up this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This was styling! Somebody said to me\u2014said, \u201cThat\u2019s a nice-looking shirt.\u201d My response was, \u201cIt is; isn\u2019t it?\u201d Now, that person turned and looked at me when I said that. They said, \u201cYou are so conceited!\u201d I thought, \u201cI didn\u2019t make this shirt.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> And, \u201cI wasn\u2019t the one who handed out the original compliment.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. But it was one of those things where I had to recalibrate because I was just trying to say: \u201cYes, it is a good-looking shirt. My mom picked it up; and I kind of like it, too;\u201d but I had to learn that there was a pride issue in my own heart, in even saying that. I was getting puffed up with that. We can shrink away, sometimes\u2014and like you said, do the guffaw\u2014do the: \u201cOh, it\u2019s not really,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a false humility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we can also get a little puffed up, and we need to recognize that\u2019s the predisposition of our heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> It is. I think the other thing in this \u201cStay Humble\u201d idea\u2014and again, I\u2019ve made these broad enough that anything can fit under them\u2014but just help them remember that all their friends were not raised with a dad\u2014that at some point\u2014and a mom had sat down and thought through these things. So, if there is, in their life, protection or wisdom that others don\u2019t have, realize, they can still learn and need to acknowledge the source of the true beauty that God\u2019s given them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really want my kids to know that: \u201cThis is who God looks for,\u201d by the way, anyway. \u201cThis is the kind of woman that God uses\u2014the one who is humble and contrite in spirit\u2014who \u2018trembles at My Word\u2019\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOh, I\u2019ll give you one quick story that kind of ties some of these together. Recently, my second daughter\u2014who is a freshman, down at Texas A&amp;M\u2014she was down there. They were actually at kind of what they call a Fish Camp or Impact. There was a panel of men that were up there\u2014talking to girls about how they were to handle different things in college\u2014and questions were being asked. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKirby turned and said, \u201cYou know, Dad, I just couldn\u2019t believe that nobody was giving a response that was rooted and grounded in Scripture, even though in this particular forum, it was supposed to be. I started to want to say something; but I go\u2014before I spoke\u2014I wanted to make sure I spoke faithfully, with humility. So, the very first thing I said, when I spoke, was to quote some Scripture; but I did it completely different because I realized that, maybe, I had been given some preparation and equipping that put me in a different spot, with a different responsibility\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut not just to blast people with that.\u201d So, to\u2014even when you are loving others\u2014to do it out of a sense of: \u201cHey, I\u2019ve been given this gift. I want to share it in a way that makes knowledge acceptable\u201d\u2014as the Proverbs say. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Todd, I love what you\u2019ve done\u2014not only with the list here for young ladies but, also, for the guys\u2014of really exhorting parents to think through: \u201cWhat are you building here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow are you uniquely equipping your daughters to become all that God created them to be\u2014and the same for your sons?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve put it simply. I\u2019m going to give people the license I gave them, earlier, on the broadcast. Pick one of Todd\u2019s five\u2014that he and Alex have hammered out here\u2014and steal one of the five for your daughter. Begin to build that into your daughter; and then, begin to add more. Come up with your own list of five. But begin to purposely take the Scriptures to your daughter in bite-sized portions so that they can begin to take hold of life\u2014find who God is\u2014and apply Him to their lives as they are growing up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I just want to say, \u201cThanks for\u2014not only being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> here, Todd\u2014but thanks for being a supporter of building godly marriages and families in the Dallas\/Fort Worth area.\u201d I know Watermark has a phenomenal marriage and family ministry. Really appreciate you and just pray God\u2019s favor upon you and the great ministry of Watermark. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Dennis \/ Bob, I am grateful for FamilyLife. A lot of what I\u2019ve come up with is because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve learned from men like you and ministries like yours. Again, our encouragement\u2014we\u2019ll put this stuff down on your website so people can go and look at it. But again, our encouragement is not that you would love our words but love the Word\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014that makes you write books like <em>Stepping Up<\/em> for guys and put materials together. Everything that I know you do, and that I\u2019m trying to do, is to drive people back to the ultimate source that raises godly men\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014and godly women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and the great thing about this list, that you put together is\u2014not only do you define what you are saying\u2014but I\u2019m thinking each of these character qualities for young men and young women can be a conversation at the dinner table with the whole family: \u201cHey, let\u2019s talk about what it would look like for us to seek God first. What would it look like for a daughter to do that?\u201d And you can unpack it. You can look at the Scriptures together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Or a dad could take each of these five\u2014and you\u2019ve got five dates there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> There you go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He could take each one of these and say, \u201cYou know, Sweetie, over the next five weeks, we\u2019re going to have a date [one night each week]. We\u2019re going to talk about each of these five that I just pulled off of FamilyLife\u2019s website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe\u2019re going to talk, practically, about how that fits in your life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got 40 verses\u2014there are 40 drives to school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, right now. You can download what we\u2019re talking about and have it available for devotions, for dinner tonight, or for the next trip to school. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to get what we\u2019ve been talking about with Todd Wagner this week\u2014again, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd while you are talking about taking your daughters out on dates, why don\u2019t you plan to do something special with your son on the day before the Super Bowl<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>? If your son is a teenager or a young man, why don\u2019t you plan that the two of you will take part in the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup>Super Saturday event in your community? I don\u2019t know for sure that there\u2019s going to be one in your community, but there could be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click on the link for men, <em>Stepping Up. <\/em>It shows all the locations, across the country, where the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> Super Saturday one-day event is being hosted\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ton Saturday, February 1<sup>st<\/sup>, the day before the Super Bowl. You can plan to join with other guys and go through this material\u2014four sessions on that Saturday. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link for men, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, to get more information. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there is not an event currently scheduled in your community, there is still time for you to get the material and host one in your church or anywhere in your community. In fact, you\u2019ll get the information you need, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com for how you can host one of these events. We\u2019ve got coaches available to answer any questions you might have about hosting an event, or you can do this in your home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve come up with the FamilyLife <em>Stepping Up<\/em> Super Saturday home edition. Here\u2019s how it works\u2014you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click the men <em>Stepping Up<\/em> link, order a manual or a set of manuals\u2014maybe, you want to go through this with your sons; or maybe, you want to get your small group together in your home and all of you guys go through the materials together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou order the manuals you need. We will give you an access code that will give you access to the video content, online, over the course of the weekend. It\u2019ll be available on the 1<sup>st<\/sup> and on the 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. So, you can do it however fits your schedule\u2014and you guys can go through this material together. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link for men, <em>Stepping Up,<\/em> and find out about the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> Super Saturday home edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just, finally, say: \u201cI hope a bunch of guys will follow up Super Saturday by going through the ten-week series that FamilyLife has put together. It\u2019s a ten-week video series. Like Super Saturday, the ten-week series features Dennis Rainey, and Crawford Loritts, and Voddie Baucham, Stu Weber, and Robert Lewis, and Matt Chandler, and Joshua Harris\u2014other guys talking about what godly manhood is all about.\u201d Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about all that we have available for Super Saturday and, then, the ongoing <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us. Hope you and your family can worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk to a wife who wants to challenge other wives to respect their husbands. She has put together a 40-day respect dare. We\u2019ll talk about it Monday. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2014 FamilyLife. 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