{"id":302885,"date":"2013-12-20T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-12-20T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-fathers-need-to-do\/"},"modified":"2013-12-20T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-12-20T17:00:00","slug":"what-fathers-need-to-do","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-fathers-need-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"What Fathers Need to Do"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Meg Meeker tells parents why it&#8217;s important to teach their sons about the power of virtues like self-control.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-12-20.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"21.67M","filesize_raw":"22717975","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2835],"tags":[5308,4875,5292],"podcast_series":[7208],"cwp_profile":[3187],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302885","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raising-boys","tag-adhd","tag-boys","tag-young-children","podcast_series-boys-should-be-boys","cwp_profile-meg-meeker","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302885\/what-fathers-need-to-do","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302885\/what-fathers-need-to-do","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"VhqmmO5sgr\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-fathers-need-to-do\/\">What Fathers Need to Do<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-fathers-need-to-do\/embed\/#?secret=VhqmmO5sgr\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What Fathers Need to Do&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"VhqmmO5sgr\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-12-20.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-12-20.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But, when you do have both, what you are saying is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014a boy can learn what it means to be all that God made him to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, no doubt about it. Dr. Meg Meeker joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. She believes the same way. Meg, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Thank you, Dennis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Meg is a mom of four. She is a pediatrician\u2014an author of six books. She has appeared on <em>60 Minutes<\/em>, <em>The Today Show<\/em>, and even appeared on the <em>O\u2019Reilly Factor<\/em>. And her eyes rolled back in her head on that one. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> You didn\u2019t see that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She has written a book called <em>Boys Should be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons<\/em>. I want to focus today on what a father needs to make sure he is doing\u2014engaging, practicing and building into his son\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbecause you, and I, and Bob all agree on the same thing here\u2014fathers are indispensable if we are going to see boys become men; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes; absolutely. Another thing I talk about, in the book, is virtues. We talk about virtues for girls, but we don\u2019t talk about virtues for boys. Oh, no\u2014virtues have sort of been feminized: \u201cThose are just for girls,\u201d and, \u201cThose are for moms,\u201d and, \u201cThose are particularly for Christian girls and Christian moms.\u201d Virtues help us live, and this is something that I feel very strongly that fathers should teach their sons. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is interesting\u2014if you look at teen boy behavior with mothers\u2014I see a number of teen boys with single mothers. The boys are out of control and often will get violent with their mothers. This can be a real problem. Boys don\u2019t become violent with their mothers when dad is in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is almost as sort of a muscle-type of a thing. I say, \u201cBig \u2018T\u2019 needs to hit little\u2018t\u2019 and little\u2018t\u2019 needs to bang up against big \u2018T\u2019\u2014Dad\u2014in order for him to realize: \u2018This is what I can and cannot do.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is something that Dad can teach\u2014that Mom has a much harder time teaching. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally, when you think about virtues\u2014that is, really, self-control\u2014is so very important. Dad can teach it with a power and authority that Mom can\u2019t. However, Granddad can teach it. A pastor can teach it. If Mom has no good man that she can point to in her life\u2014to sort of steer her son toward\u2014you can read about good men in literature and paint a picture for your son. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> As you were talking about that, I was thinking of the number of times I came home, when we had teenage sons, to find Mom\u2014my wife Barbara\u2014wrapped up in a corner\u2014tied-up emotionally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you know what I am talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> I know it. I am a mother, and I have a 6\u2019 3\u201d son; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I honestly think that mothers have the most difficulty with sons because they outgrow them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re looking up at him. He is no longer your sweet little boy. He is becoming something that is kind of foreign to you, as a mom; and yet, my sons, at points, needed me, as a dad, to step into their lives\u2014put my arm around them, with a grin on my face, and say, \u201cYou will not treat your mom that way.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cYou\u2019re not going to get away with it because\u2014you know what?\u2014behind your mom, stands me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI love you enough not to let you get away with it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>I will say that feels so good to a boy. That feels so good\u2014for a man to look at a boy and say, \u201cStop it!\u201d How many adult men do we have out of control because nobody ever came along and say: \u201cStop behaving this way\u2014you can\u2019t do that.\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, there are a lot of 50-\/60-year-old adolescent men, running around out there, just out of control. They are miserable because self-control has to be taught by someone that we admire, and respect, and who has authority to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Meg, talk about the transition that you have made, as a parent, from the first ten years of your son\u2019s life\u2014when you were primary and building into him\u2014and then, you have talked about how he pushed away at a certain point. What have you had to consciously do, as a mom, and how has your husband stepped in and engaged in the process of raising him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Oh. Now, this hurts. [Laughter] This hurts. You\u2019re hitting home. You really put me to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re forcing her to relive some painful moments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> It is painful! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are laughing about this, but this is one of the tough things for a mom. And some moms don\u2019t make the turn\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes; exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because they can\u2019t let this happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Exactly. Here is the key. And here was the key for me. I encourage dads, when their daughters do this, too. I was very close with our son, until he was about 10 or 11. People would kind of joke about it. He was attached to my hip. He would like to go to the grocery store with me. I <em>loved<\/em> being with him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, as he matures, and his body starts to change, and he is feeling uncomfortable around me\u2014and that first time you go to hug him\u2014and he bristles, and he pushes away, and says, \u201cOh no,\u201d your heart breaks. It gets worse, and worse, and worse because he doesn\u2019t want to talk. Then, he just grunts. You ask him questions, and he doesn\u2019t hear you. So, you take him to an audiologist.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the thing that really helped me was to understand I couldn\u2019t take him personally\u2014that what was happening in him\u2014and his tearing away from me was extremely important, and he was wired to do that. God designed him to do that. It didn\u2019t have to do with me. It wasn\u2019t because I parented him poorly, or because I was saying the wrong thing, or because I was hugging him at the wrong time. It was what was meant to go on inside of him, and I wasn\u2019t privy to it. So, I had to back away and say to his dad: \u201cOkay, as much as this pains me, you\u2019re on; and I am off.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, I still cook his favorite meals; and I do a lot of things I probably shouldn\u2019t do to kind of spoil him. He is the baby in our family, but I really respect his masculinity. I am not part of that development right now. I had to reconcile that with myself. It is something that is very personal between him and his dad, and I have to honor that and back away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to ask you to unpack how you communicate respect for his masculinity because that takes some wisdom and maturity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is a pivotal question because you are going: \u201cNow, wait a second. I am still the mom. If there is respect flowing here, it should flow from you to me.\u201d For a mom to think about respecting her son feels somewhat foreign and unparental. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> I feel it\u2019s easy to respect my son and communicate that to him because I am his ally and the culture is his enemy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis dad, and I, and he are on the same team. So, when he goes off to prom, I sit down and talk with him about how he should behave towards his date\u2014that I fully expect him not to get drunk, and not to leave prom and go have sex\u2014because everybody else expects that\u2014but I know that he is bigger, and stronger, and he is wiser. So, I talk up to him. That is what we need to do to our boys because part of masculinity is respecting their sense of authority, and imparting a sense of authority to them, as a man: \u201cYou are a man, now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are calling that out of him; aren\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes. I am calling it out of him. As a woman, I am saying: \u201cI fully believe in your manhood, your masculinity, your ability to behave tonight. I will see you at one in the morning, when you get home, because you are not going to some girl\u2019s for a sleepover like everybody else in your class.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think another part of it is speaking respectfully to my husband, who is pretty easy to respect. He is a good man. I think that that confers a healthy sense of masculinity on my son. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are saying how you relate to your husband is a part of how you train your son to be a man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes; exactly. How I show respect to my husband says that I respect masculinity, which is very different than me, because I am not masculine\u2014I am feminine. That confers respect on my son. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You said something else that I want to make sure we don\u2019t want to run past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou said that you and your husband are together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You are in agreement? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You have got a game plan that\u2014where you are headed\u2014as you raise your son?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That is very important, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes; very much so. We are on the same page, as far as the rules and our expectations of our kids. Our expectations didn\u2019t shift from girls to boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have three older girls, and our son and they are the same. We expect excellent behavior and good character\u2014not necessarily performance-based\u2014you know, athletics and that kind of thing\u2014but we expect good solid character from all of our kids, and it works.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You talk about this issue of character. I think, as we continue to unpack it, I am just thinking of boys being called to things like courage, and bravery, and noble strength. There is a lot of what we would think of as masculine character qualities\u2014not that girls shouldn\u2019t be courageous, or brave, or noble\u2014I am not saying that\u2014but there is something about calling young men to a picture of nobility and manhood in their character that I think will resonate in the heart in the 16- and 17-year-old boy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> It absolutely does. I even go a little bolder in the book. I talk about that the power that a man has\u2014that a young man has\u2014that\u2019s good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that we approach the power we see in boys, and we put it down. We constantly put men down, and we constantly put boys down; but I tell boys: \u201cYou have inordinate emotional power\u2014mental and intellectual power\u2014sexual power.\u201d I think that it can be very frightening for boys; but if we say: \u201cNo, you don\u2019t need to be afraid of it. Let\u2019s use it because it is who you are, and it is part of your masculine package. Be proud of it; and now, constrain it.\u201d There\u2019s where you help a boy start to feel noble\u2014start to feel courageous\u2014start to feel meek. That\u2019s when you see boys really start to excel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You say, in your book, that it takes a man to raise a man. Now, I want you to reflect on your husband for a second. What does he reflect to your son?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>You guys just don\u2019t let up; do you? [Laughter] My husband reflects a lot to my son. My husband is a man of few words, but he is a man of tremendous amount of action. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe doesn\u2019t talk about prayer\u2014he prays. The kids catch him praying. My son has caught him praying at midnight. My husband is extremely respectful to me. My husband has never sworn to me. He has never put me down\u2014in private or in front of the kids. My kids pick up on that. That makes them feel more valuable. He has really exercised self-control to my son a lot. My son really mimics a lot of my husband\u2019s behavior. When my son was probably nine, he started opening the door for me and for his sisters, without even thinking. I never heard my husband say, \u201cThat is what you are to do.\u201d I think a lot of what my son has gleaned from my husband is just by watching him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband believes that his work is his commission from the Lord. He takes his work with his patients very, very seriously. You can just see that as we live with him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe never complains about his work. He will get up at 3:00 in the morning, and he\u2019ll run out to attend to the delivery of a high-risk baby. He\u2019ll come back in the morning for breakfast; and then, he\u2019ll take the kids off to school when they were young. He didn\u2019t complain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband is a very, very humble man\u2014a tremendous amount of humility\u2014honors others above himself. I\u2019ve never heard him say that to our kids, but they do it. You can tell who is the talker in our family\u2014[Laughter]\u2014and it isn\u2019t him. That is one of the great things that dads do that women don\u2019t\u2014is that you talk less. Kids like it that you talk less.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There is less lessons coming from dad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes. We mothers lecture, all the time. Dads just do it. My daughters will tell me that. We feel like we need to jump in and correct all the time. So, that is a strength that my husband does. So, when he is just doing it, I try not to jump in and lecture. I let him show the kids how to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Underline the word, \u201ctry.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> That\u2019s right, \u201ctry.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have been in some of those situations, even as a dad, where I wanted to be able to lecture, as well; but what I hear you saying is the character of a man determines the man. So, as a father, who you are is constantly speaking to your children. They are like little radar units that lock on you; especially, the boys. They lock on their dad and they go, \u201cThis is how you do life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Do we have time for one little story? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> How my husband taught my son how to serve and do ministry. We run a soup kitchen in our town. Many years ago, my son was about eight. He was driving home from somewhere\u2014I think they had picked up some Chinese food. My husband pulled his truck into a parking lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy son said, \u201cWhat are you doing, Dad?\u201d He jumped out of the car; and he saw an elderly man\u2014a homeless man\u2014rummaging through a garbage can. My husband took all of our Chinese food, and he showed it to the man, and he said: \u201cWhat would you like? What do you need?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe man picked a few things. He jumped back in the car and came home. When I went to serve the take-out Chinese-food, I was upset because my eggrolls were missing. I got very upset. I said: \u201cYou forgot the eggrolls! I can\u2019t believe it.\u201d And then, \u201cI sent him off to do this. I should have done it myself, and I would have gotten my eggrolls.\u201d And my son looked at me\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Barbara likes eggrolls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Have you heard it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I am sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> You know, I really was\u2014and I was blaming this man\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> \u2014and I was just ready to let it rip. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> We do that pretty well, too. And my son spoke up and he said, \u201cBut, Mom, Dad gave your eggrolls away.\u201d I said: \u201cWhat do you talking about? He gave my eggrolls away?\u201d He said: \u201cMom, Dad didn\u2019t say anything; but there was a man in the park. He was rummaging through the trash can, and dad just asked him to take whatever he wanted. And he wanted those eggrolls.\u201d [Laughter] Now, how large do you think I felt, standing in my kitchen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Little bitty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Little, little, little, little bitty person. My husband never told me. He didn\u2019t come home and say, \u201cOh Honey, I had to give your eggrolls away because there was a man who needed them more than you.\u201d He didn\u2019t say a word. He just pulled the car over and offered the man all of the food. He did that kind of stuff routinely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe took the girls to South America. He ministered to the people who didn\u2019t have shoes\u2014they didn\u2019t have health care. He just brought them along as he brought the medicine. He gave them coats, and he loved them. That is who my son is. While I write the books on how to raise boys, my husband really does it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I am listening to the story, Bob. I am thinking: \u201cHe makes house calls. He takes his daughters to South America. I mean\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014runs a soup kitchen. Does he wear a cape, too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> You are talking to the wrong person here! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe doesn\u2019t; but you know what? I will tell you\u2014his dad did the same thing. His dad was a small town GP, who drove around town, with a trunk full of Bibles.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your husband gives away Bibles today, too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> He gives away Bibles, too, with his dad\u2019s name stamped in the front. This is the way he honors his dad\u2014is he gives away Bibles. Whatever money we have\u2014you know\u2014we have some extra cash, at the end of a month\u2014he buys more Bibles. His dad used to go to prisons, and he would just do this. He was very, very quiet man; and my husband does the same thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInterestingly, after his dad died, I saw my husband become so much more like his dad. And I adored his dad. I hope and pray that my son, now, will become more like my husband is. He is a great man. I don\u2019t want to sound sort of Pollyannaish\u2014he makes a lot of mistakes, and he drives me crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Could you just give us one? You made him sound so perfect here. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> I got on this bandwagon\u2014that many of us women got on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The fix-your-husband bandwagon? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> The fix-your-husband bandwagon: \u201cYou are never home. You are never attending my needs. You are just working all the time,\u201d and, \u201cI can\u2019t stand it,\u201d and, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you be here for me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I am glad you mentioned that because Bob and I have designed a fix-your-husband kit that we are offering at the end of today\u2019s broadcast. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: No, I\u2019m kidding. [Laughter] This is a universal need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is wives who are always trying to fix the man in their life. You came to the point where you said, \u201cI have got to give up this quest.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> But only after 15 or 18 years. The first 10, I figured out what needed to be fixed; and the second 10, I tried to fix it. Then, I just gave up. But I really think, as women, what we do\u2014and I think our culture feeds into this\u2014we look at our husband and go, \u201cOkay, I need you to do this; and I need you to do that,\u201d and, \u201cI need you to fill all this need,\u201d and, \u201cOh, by the way, I want a really nice house, and two cars, and all this kind of stuff, too.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really hit me hard several years ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking to a family member\u2014with four children in her home\u2014and her husband works extremely hard\u2014complaining about he was never home, and he never cooked, and he didn\u2019t everything\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said: \u201cStop! How can you expect him to attend to those needs when he\u2019s providing all of this for you?\u201d I said: \u201cYour kids need to see that his provision is a noble thing. It is a good thing. By you constantly criticizing it, you are tearing him down in your kids\u2019 eyes. Stop it!\u201d I have called myself on that: \u201cStop criticizing all that stupid little stuff in him! He is a good enough man.\u201d No\u2014he is not home enough.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He\u2019s not perfect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> He\u2019s not perfect. Sometimes, I wish he were more protective of the girls and that kind of thing because he believes they can do anything and everything at any time. Sometimes, it drives me a little bit crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But you had a father like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes, I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, he expected a lot of you and had high standards for you. That\u2019s part of why you are doing what you are doing today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have an assignment for you, before we are done, here. I want you to speak to the moms about the single best piece of advice on raising sons for moms and the same thing for fathers, raising boys. I want you to wrap things up, in just a moment, with that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And while you pull your thoughts together on that, let me tell listeners how they can get ahold of your book, <em>Boys Should Be Boys.<\/em> Then, there\u2019s a book that you\u2019ve written for dads of daughters called <em>Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.<\/em> We have both of those books in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are books that I think ought to be in every parents\u2019 library\u2014really outstanding books that will help every parent raise their sons to become young men and raise their daughters to become young women who have a healthy sense of what it means to be feminine. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for information on either of these two books by Dr. Meg Meeker. Again, the book for parents of sons is called <em>Boys Should Be Boys<\/em>; and the book for dads, who have daughters, is called <em>Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the toll-free number: 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd quickly, let me just remind our listeners, Dennis, about the matching-gift opportunity that we are hoping to take advantage of, here in the month of December. Friends of this ministry have come forward and offered to match every donation we receive, during the month of December, three-to-one. You make a $25 donation, and it is $100-worth of benefit to <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>thanks to the generosity of these friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe total amount that can be matched is $800,000. So, would you consider making as generous a donation as you possibly can to help us take full advantage of this matching- gift opportunity? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLIfeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d and make an end-of-the-year online donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>;or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make your donation over the phone, or mail a check to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. Of course, please remember to pray for us. Pray that God would provide all that we need and that we\u2019d be able to take full advantage of the matching-gift opportunity that we have available.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We have talked today with Dr. Meg Meeker about her book\u2014all about raising boys and helping them grow up to become men. I kind of threw the gauntlet down to the doctor before\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Boil it all down into one thing; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Boil it down to a piece of advice for moms. I am actually thinking of my daughter, Ashley, who has five sons; okay? And I am thinking of her husband. What is the single best piece of advice to moms and dads as they raise boys today? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> I would have to say for mothers\u2014it is to respect and honor the men in their lives\u2014their dad. Respect and honor their dad\u2014and your boys will turn out well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will say for fathers, who are raising sons\u2014that just when you feel like pulling away, during those teen years\u2014move in because he needs you during the teen years more than ever. He needs to watch you. So, let him watch you be a good man; and he will be a good man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["21.67M"],"filesize_raw":["22717975"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302885.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302885.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Meg Meeker tells parents why it's important to teach their sons about the power of virtues like self-control.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-12-20.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But, when you do have both, what you are saying is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014a boy can learn what it means to be all that God made him to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, no doubt about it. Dr. Meg Meeker joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. She believes the same way. Meg, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Thank you, Dennis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Meg is a mom of four. She is a pediatrician\u2014an author of six books. She has appeared on <em>60 Minutes<\/em>, <em>The Today Show<\/em>, and even appeared on the <em>O\u2019Reilly Factor<\/em>. And her eyes rolled back in her head on that one. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> You didn\u2019t see that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She has written a book called <em>Boys Should be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons<\/em>. I want to focus today on what a father needs to make sure he is doing\u2014engaging, practicing and building into his son\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbecause you, and I, and Bob all agree on the same thing here\u2014fathers are indispensable if we are going to see boys become men; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes; absolutely. Another thing I talk about, in the book, is virtues. We talk about virtues for girls, but we don\u2019t talk about virtues for boys. Oh, no\u2014virtues have sort of been feminized: \u201cThose are just for girls,\u201d and, \u201cThose are for moms,\u201d and, \u201cThose are particularly for Christian girls and Christian moms.\u201d Virtues help us live, and this is something that I feel very strongly that fathers should teach their sons. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is interesting\u2014if you look at teen boy behavior with mothers\u2014I see a number of teen boys with single mothers. The boys are out of control and often will get violent with their mothers. This can be a real problem. Boys don\u2019t become violent with their mothers when dad is in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is almost as sort of a muscle-type of a thing. I say, \u201cBig \u2018T\u2019 needs to hit little\u2018t\u2019 and little\u2018t\u2019 needs to bang up against big \u2018T\u2019\u2014Dad\u2014in order for him to realize: \u2018This is what I can and cannot do.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is something that Dad can teach\u2014that Mom has a much harder time teaching. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally, when you think about virtues\u2014that is, really, self-control\u2014is so very important. Dad can teach it with a power and authority that Mom can\u2019t. However, Granddad can teach it. A pastor can teach it. If Mom has no good man that she can point to in her life\u2014to sort of steer her son toward\u2014you can read about good men in literature and paint a picture for your son. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> As you were talking about that, I was thinking of the number of times I came home, when we had teenage sons, to find Mom\u2014my wife Barbara\u2014wrapped up in a corner\u2014tied-up emotionally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you know what I am talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> I know it. I am a mother, and I have a 6\u2019 3\u201d son; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I honestly think that mothers have the most difficulty with sons because they outgrow them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re looking up at him. He is no longer your sweet little boy. He is becoming something that is kind of foreign to you, as a mom; and yet, my sons, at points, needed me, as a dad, to step into their lives\u2014put my arm around them, with a grin on my face, and say, \u201cYou will not treat your mom that way.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cYou\u2019re not going to get away with it because\u2014you know what?\u2014behind your mom, stands me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI love you enough not to let you get away with it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>I will say that feels so good to a boy. That feels so good\u2014for a man to look at a boy and say, \u201cStop it!\u201d How many adult men do we have out of control because nobody ever came along and say: \u201cStop behaving this way\u2014you can\u2019t do that.\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, there are a lot of 50-\/60-year-old adolescent men, running around out there, just out of control. They are miserable because self-control has to be taught by someone that we admire, and respect, and who has authority to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Meg, talk about the transition that you have made, as a parent, from the first ten years of your son\u2019s life\u2014when you were primary and building into him\u2014and then, you have talked about how he pushed away at a certain point. What have you had to consciously do, as a mom, and how has your husband stepped in and engaged in the process of raising him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Oh. Now, this hurts. [Laughter] This hurts. You\u2019re hitting home. You really put me to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re forcing her to relive some painful moments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> It is painful! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are laughing about this, but this is one of the tough things for a mom. And some moms don\u2019t make the turn\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes; exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because they can\u2019t let this happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Exactly. Here is the key. And here was the key for me. I encourage dads, when their daughters do this, too. I was very close with our son, until he was about 10 or 11. People would kind of joke about it. He was attached to my hip. He would like to go to the grocery store with me. I <em>loved<\/em> being with him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, as he matures, and his body starts to change, and he is feeling uncomfortable around me\u2014and that first time you go to hug him\u2014and he bristles, and he pushes away, and says, \u201cOh no,\u201d your heart breaks. It gets worse, and worse, and worse because he doesn\u2019t want to talk. Then, he just grunts. You ask him questions, and he doesn\u2019t hear you. So, you take him to an audiologist.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the thing that really helped me was to understand I couldn\u2019t take him personally\u2014that what was happening in him\u2014and his tearing away from me was extremely important, and he was wired to do that. God designed him to do that. It didn\u2019t have to do with me. It wasn\u2019t because I parented him poorly, or because I was saying the wrong thing, or because I was hugging him at the wrong time. It was what was meant to go on inside of him, and I wasn\u2019t privy to it. So, I had to back away and say to his dad: \u201cOkay, as much as this pains me, you\u2019re on; and I am off.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, I still cook his favorite meals; and I do a lot of things I probably shouldn\u2019t do to kind of spoil him. He is the baby in our family, but I really respect his masculinity. I am not part of that development right now. I had to reconcile that with myself. It is something that is very personal between him and his dad, and I have to honor that and back away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to ask you to unpack how you communicate respect for his masculinity because that takes some wisdom and maturity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is a pivotal question because you are going: \u201cNow, wait a second. I am still the mom. If there is respect flowing here, it should flow from you to me.\u201d For a mom to think about respecting her son feels somewhat foreign and unparental. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> I feel it\u2019s easy to respect my son and communicate that to him because I am his ally and the culture is his enemy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis dad, and I, and he are on the same team. So, when he goes off to prom, I sit down and talk with him about how he should behave towards his date\u2014that I fully expect him not to get drunk, and not to leave prom and go have sex\u2014because everybody else expects that\u2014but I know that he is bigger, and stronger, and he is wiser. So, I talk up to him. That is what we need to do to our boys because part of masculinity is respecting their sense of authority, and imparting a sense of authority to them, as a man: \u201cYou are a man, now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are calling that out of him; aren\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes. I am calling it out of him. As a woman, I am saying: \u201cI fully believe in your manhood, your masculinity, your ability to behave tonight. I will see you at one in the morning, when you get home, because you are not going to some girl\u2019s for a sleepover like everybody else in your class.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think another part of it is speaking respectfully to my husband, who is pretty easy to respect. He is a good man. I think that that confers a healthy sense of masculinity on my son. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are saying how you relate to your husband is a part of how you train your son to be a man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes; exactly. How I show respect to my husband says that I respect masculinity, which is very different than me, because I am not masculine\u2014I am feminine. That confers respect on my son. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You said something else that I want to make sure we don\u2019t want to run past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou said that you and your husband are together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You are in agreement? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You have got a game plan that\u2014where you are headed\u2014as you raise your son?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That is very important, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes; very much so. We are on the same page, as far as the rules and our expectations of our kids. Our expectations didn\u2019t shift from girls to boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have three older girls, and our son and they are the same. We expect excellent behavior and good character\u2014not necessarily performance-based\u2014you know, athletics and that kind of thing\u2014but we expect good solid character from all of our kids, and it works.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You talk about this issue of character. I think, as we continue to unpack it, I am just thinking of boys being called to things like courage, and bravery, and noble strength. There is a lot of what we would think of as masculine character qualities\u2014not that girls shouldn\u2019t be courageous, or brave, or noble\u2014I am not saying that\u2014but there is something about calling young men to a picture of nobility and manhood in their character that I think will resonate in the heart in the 16- and 17-year-old boy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> It absolutely does. I even go a little bolder in the book. I talk about that the power that a man has\u2014that a young man has\u2014that\u2019s good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that we approach the power we see in boys, and we put it down. We constantly put men down, and we constantly put boys down; but I tell boys: \u201cYou have inordinate emotional power\u2014mental and intellectual power\u2014sexual power.\u201d I think that it can be very frightening for boys; but if we say: \u201cNo, you don\u2019t need to be afraid of it. Let\u2019s use it because it is who you are, and it is part of your masculine package. Be proud of it; and now, constrain it.\u201d There\u2019s where you help a boy start to feel noble\u2014start to feel courageous\u2014start to feel meek. That\u2019s when you see boys really start to excel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You say, in your book, that it takes a man to raise a man. Now, I want you to reflect on your husband for a second. What does he reflect to your son?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>You guys just don\u2019t let up; do you? [Laughter] My husband reflects a lot to my son. My husband is a man of few words, but he is a man of tremendous amount of action. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe doesn\u2019t talk about prayer\u2014he prays. The kids catch him praying. My son has caught him praying at midnight. My husband is extremely respectful to me. My husband has never sworn to me. He has never put me down\u2014in private or in front of the kids. My kids pick up on that. That makes them feel more valuable. He has really exercised self-control to my son a lot. My son really mimics a lot of my husband\u2019s behavior. When my son was probably nine, he started opening the door for me and for his sisters, without even thinking. I never heard my husband say, \u201cThat is what you are to do.\u201d I think a lot of what my son has gleaned from my husband is just by watching him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband believes that his work is his commission from the Lord. He takes his work with his patients very, very seriously. You can just see that as we live with him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe never complains about his work. He will get up at 3:00 in the morning, and he\u2019ll run out to attend to the delivery of a high-risk baby. He\u2019ll come back in the morning for breakfast; and then, he\u2019ll take the kids off to school when they were young. He didn\u2019t complain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband is a very, very humble man\u2014a tremendous amount of humility\u2014honors others above himself. I\u2019ve never heard him say that to our kids, but they do it. You can tell who is the talker in our family\u2014[Laughter]\u2014and it isn\u2019t him. That is one of the great things that dads do that women don\u2019t\u2014is that you talk less. Kids like it that you talk less.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There is less lessons coming from dad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes. We mothers lecture, all the time. Dads just do it. My daughters will tell me that. We feel like we need to jump in and correct all the time. So, that is a strength that my husband does. So, when he is just doing it, I try not to jump in and lecture. I let him show the kids how to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Underline the word, \u201ctry.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> That\u2019s right, \u201ctry.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have been in some of those situations, even as a dad, where I wanted to be able to lecture, as well; but what I hear you saying is the character of a man determines the man. So, as a father, who you are is constantly speaking to your children. They are like little radar units that lock on you; especially, the boys. They lock on their dad and they go, \u201cThis is how you do life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Do we have time for one little story? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> How my husband taught my son how to serve and do ministry. We run a soup kitchen in our town. Many years ago, my son was about eight. He was driving home from somewhere\u2014I think they had picked up some Chinese food. My husband pulled his truck into a parking lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy son said, \u201cWhat are you doing, Dad?\u201d He jumped out of the car; and he saw an elderly man\u2014a homeless man\u2014rummaging through a garbage can. My husband took all of our Chinese food, and he showed it to the man, and he said: \u201cWhat would you like? What do you need?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe man picked a few things. He jumped back in the car and came home. When I went to serve the take-out Chinese-food, I was upset because my eggrolls were missing. I got very upset. I said: \u201cYou forgot the eggrolls! I can\u2019t believe it.\u201d And then, \u201cI sent him off to do this. I should have done it myself, and I would have gotten my eggrolls.\u201d And my son looked at me\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Barbara likes eggrolls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Have you heard it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I am sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> You know, I really was\u2014and I was blaming this man\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> \u2014and I was just ready to let it rip. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> We do that pretty well, too. And my son spoke up and he said, \u201cBut, Mom, Dad gave your eggrolls away.\u201d I said: \u201cWhat do you talking about? He gave my eggrolls away?\u201d He said: \u201cMom, Dad didn\u2019t say anything; but there was a man in the park. He was rummaging through the trash can, and dad just asked him to take whatever he wanted. And he wanted those eggrolls.\u201d [Laughter] Now, how large do you think I felt, standing in my kitchen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Little bitty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Little, little, little, little bitty person. My husband never told me. He didn\u2019t come home and say, \u201cOh Honey, I had to give your eggrolls away because there was a man who needed them more than you.\u201d He didn\u2019t say a word. He just pulled the car over and offered the man all of the food. He did that kind of stuff routinely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe took the girls to South America. He ministered to the people who didn\u2019t have shoes\u2014they didn\u2019t have health care. He just brought them along as he brought the medicine. He gave them coats, and he loved them. That is who my son is. While I write the books on how to raise boys, my husband really does it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I am listening to the story, Bob. I am thinking: \u201cHe makes house calls. He takes his daughters to South America. I mean\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014runs a soup kitchen. Does he wear a cape, too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> You are talking to the wrong person here! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe doesn\u2019t; but you know what? I will tell you\u2014his dad did the same thing. His dad was a small town GP, who drove around town, with a trunk full of Bibles.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your husband gives away Bibles today, too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> He gives away Bibles, too, with his dad\u2019s name stamped in the front. This is the way he honors his dad\u2014is he gives away Bibles. Whatever money we have\u2014you know\u2014we have some extra cash, at the end of a month\u2014he buys more Bibles. His dad used to go to prisons, and he would just do this. He was very, very quiet man; and my husband does the same thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInterestingly, after his dad died, I saw my husband become so much more like his dad. And I adored his dad. I hope and pray that my son, now, will become more like my husband is. He is a great man. I don\u2019t want to sound sort of Pollyannaish\u2014he makes a lot of mistakes, and he drives me crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Could you just give us one? You made him sound so perfect here. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> I got on this bandwagon\u2014that many of us women got on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The fix-your-husband bandwagon? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> The fix-your-husband bandwagon: \u201cYou are never home. You are never attending my needs. You are just working all the time,\u201d and, \u201cI can\u2019t stand it,\u201d and, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you be here for me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I am glad you mentioned that because Bob and I have designed a fix-your-husband kit that we are offering at the end of today\u2019s broadcast. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: No, I\u2019m kidding. [Laughter] This is a universal need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is wives who are always trying to fix the man in their life. You came to the point where you said, \u201cI have got to give up this quest.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> But only after 15 or 18 years. The first 10, I figured out what needed to be fixed; and the second 10, I tried to fix it. Then, I just gave up. But I really think, as women, what we do\u2014and I think our culture feeds into this\u2014we look at our husband and go, \u201cOkay, I need you to do this; and I need you to do that,\u201d and, \u201cI need you to fill all this need,\u201d and, \u201cOh, by the way, I want a really nice house, and two cars, and all this kind of stuff, too.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really hit me hard several years ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking to a family member\u2014with four children in her home\u2014and her husband works extremely hard\u2014complaining about he was never home, and he never cooked, and he didn\u2019t everything\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said: \u201cStop! How can you expect him to attend to those needs when he\u2019s providing all of this for you?\u201d I said: \u201cYour kids need to see that his provision is a noble thing. It is a good thing. By you constantly criticizing it, you are tearing him down in your kids\u2019 eyes. Stop it!\u201d I have called myself on that: \u201cStop criticizing all that stupid little stuff in him! He is a good enough man.\u201d No\u2014he is not home enough.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He\u2019s not perfect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> He\u2019s not perfect. Sometimes, I wish he were more protective of the girls and that kind of thing because he believes they can do anything and everything at any time. Sometimes, it drives me a little bit crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But you had a father like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes, I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, he expected a lot of you and had high standards for you. That\u2019s part of why you are doing what you are doing today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have an assignment for you, before we are done, here. I want you to speak to the moms about the single best piece of advice on raising sons for moms and the same thing for fathers, raising boys. I want you to wrap things up, in just a moment, with that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And while you pull your thoughts together on that, let me tell listeners how they can get ahold of your book, <em>Boys Should Be Boys.<\/em> Then, there\u2019s a book that you\u2019ve written for dads of daughters called <em>Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.<\/em> We have both of those books in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are books that I think ought to be in every parents\u2019 library\u2014really outstanding books that will help every parent raise their sons to become young men and raise their daughters to become young women who have a healthy sense of what it means to be feminine. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for information on either of these two books by Dr. Meg Meeker. Again, the book for parents of sons is called <em>Boys Should Be Boys<\/em>; and the book for dads, who have daughters, is called <em>Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the toll-free number: 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd quickly, let me just remind our listeners, Dennis, about the matching-gift opportunity that we are hoping to take advantage of, here in the month of December. Friends of this ministry have come forward and offered to match every donation we receive, during the month of December, three-to-one. You make a $25 donation, and it is $100-worth of benefit to <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>thanks to the generosity of these friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe total amount that can be matched is $800,000. So, would you consider making as generous a donation as you possibly can to help us take full advantage of this matching- gift opportunity? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLIfeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d and make an end-of-the-year online donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>;or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make your donation over the phone, or mail a check to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. Of course, please remember to pray for us. Pray that God would provide all that we need and that we\u2019d be able to take full advantage of the matching-gift opportunity that we have available.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We have talked today with Dr. Meg Meeker about her book\u2014all about raising boys and helping them grow up to become men. I kind of threw the gauntlet down to the doctor before\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Boil it all down into one thing; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Boil it down to a piece of advice for moms. I am actually thinking of my daughter, Ashley, who has five sons; okay? And I am thinking of her husband. What is the single best piece of advice to moms and dads as they raise boys today? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> I would have to say for mothers\u2014it is to respect and honor the men in their lives\u2014their dad. Respect and honor their dad\u2014and your boys will turn out well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will say for fathers, who are raising sons\u2014that just when you feel like pulling away, during those teen years\u2014move in because he needs you during the teen years more than ever. He needs to watch you. So, let him watch you be a good man; and he will be a good man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302885","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302885"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302885"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302885"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302885"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}