{"id":302865,"date":"2013-11-20T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-11-20T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-is-love\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T23:35:06","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T03:35:06","slug":"what-is-love","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-love\/","title":{"rendered":"What is Love?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Biblical counselor Paul David Tripp explains that love is willing self-sacrifice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-11-20.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"21.45M","filesize_raw":"22487705","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2810,2808],"tags":[6804,4213,4786,4883],"podcast_series":[7744],"cwp_profile":[3437,3097],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302865","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-spiritually","category-newlyweds","tag-bold-love","tag-love","tag-newly-married","tag-starting-your-marriage-right","podcast_series-what-did-you-expect","cwp_profile-dan-allender","cwp_profile-paul-david-tripp","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302865\/what-is-love","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302865\/what-is-love","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"rbSyow3ZjZ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-love\/\">What is Love?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-love\/embed\/#?secret=rbSyow3ZjZ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What is Love?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"rbSyow3ZjZ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-11-20.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-11-20.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So where exactly did we learn what true love is supposed to look like?\u00a0 Well, too many of us learned it from listening to songs like this on pop radio\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music and lyrics of <em>Love Will Keep Us Together<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, do you think they had it right?\u2014Captain and Tennille? Well, I guess it depends on how you define love; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music and lyrics by Captain &amp; Tennille]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 20<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. So who do you think has got it right?\u2014the Captain and Tennille?\u2014or Paul David Trip? We\u2019ll see if we can tackle that question today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music and lyrics]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re kind of grooving here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a Neil Sedaka\u2014he wrote that song\u2014Captain and Tennille performing it.\u00a0 And I know I had the Spanish language album of that: <em>Por Amor Viviremos<\/em>. [Singing] Por\u2014por amor viviremos! Huh? What do you think? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music and Spanish lyrics by Captain &amp; Tennille]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, love will keep us together. That\u2019s our enduring message, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is, and we have\u2014to speak to that subject\u2014Paul David Tripp, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 He\u2019s the author of <em>What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You a big Captain and Tennille fan, Paul?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Oh yes, definitely\u2014[Laughter]\u2014even more so, now. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m sure you are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m guessing you were more of a Cream kind of guy; weren\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music by Cream]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely. You just hit it right on the head!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I could tell. I could tell.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to pull both of you guys out of the past to the present. [Laughter] I was in a meeting with a guy, the other day, who had come to me for some advice. This friend has been married for 20 years; okay? Now, I\u2019m going to pose this question to you, Paul, and just ask you to address his need here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe had been married 20 years. He is sitting there, talking to me; and he is going: \u201cDennis, I do not know how to love my wife. I\u2019ve been married 20 years. It\u2019s just dawning on me\u2014I\u2019m not a safe person. I\u2019ve not created a safe marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur marriage has all four wheels off in the ditch, right now. I\u2019m on one side and she\u2019s on the other side of the ditch.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re in need of a primer\u2014some basic teachings around how they both begin to love\u2014but I was speaking to the husband, in this case. Where would you begin with a man, who\u2019s just realizing: \u201cYou know what? This love-thing, that we just heard the song about\u2014it\u2019s more than just a popular song.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Or more than just a romantic feeling. You have to uproot some of those misconceptions about love to start off; don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes, and you\u2019ve named one of them. I think maybe there are three or four big ones. The first one is that love is romance. It\u2019s that cards-and-flowers kind of view of love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second is that love sort of is Western-culture \u201cnice\u201d\u2014it\u2019s being \u201cnice\u201d to you. I think it\u2019s very important to realize that it\u2019s nice to be nice, but you can be nice to somebody you hate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s what I think is the radical thing\u2014that a believer in the Bible would be the <em>only one<\/em> who would <em>ever <\/em>say\u2014is that you get your best definition of love from an event, and that event is the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the Bible calls us to \u201ccruciform\u201d love. Let me explain that term. <em>Cruci<\/em> means cross. Form means \u201cin the shape of\u201d\u2014love that shapes itself to the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is exactly what John does in First John 4. John says, \u201cThis is love.\u201d If love has to be forced, demanded, manipulated\u2014it\u2019s not love. The very nature of love is willing. Jesus said: \u201cNo one takes my life from me. I lay it down of my own accord.\u201d\u00a0 Love is willing. Love is willing self-sacrifice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don\u2019t hear anything I say in this broadcast, hear this:\u00a0 \u201cThere is no such thing as love without sacrifice because I have to step out of my wants, my needs, my plans, and my agenda. Love is always costly\u2014the name of the game. It cost Christ His <em>life<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLove is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another. I\u2019m motivated by your good. I\u2019m motivated by what is best, right, good, true, beneficial, wise, and beautiful for you. That motivates me\u2014not just this narrow world of:\u00a0 \u201cI know what I want my day, my week, and my life to look like,\u201d\u2014but I\u2019m actually engaged\u2014that I can be part of good in another person. How cool is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> And then it does not require reciprocation. Love is not a contract. It\u2019s a sacrifice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When you say reciprocation, you\u2019re saying: \u201cI did this for you. Then, you\u2019re going to do this for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cYou owe me.\u201d Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 And see, I think the average definition of love\u2014exactly that\u2014makes love a contract. It\u2019s a sacrifice. And, if I could add this final piece: \u201cLove is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another, that doesn\u2019t demand reciprocation\u2014it\u2019s not a contract; it\u2019s a sacrifice\u2014or that the person being loved is deserving.\u201d If I only love you when you deserved to be loved, who am I actually loving?\u2014I\u2019m loving me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I believe that the Scripture teaches that love does its <em>best<\/em>, most beautiful work when that person doesn\u2019t deserve it. You\u2019re married to a sinner. They\u2019re going to say bad things. They\u2019re going to do bad things. They\u2019re going to have bad days. That\u2019s when love rises and lives in all of its beauty. Now, if I was listening to this, the next question I would ask is, \u201cWhere do I get this love?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJohn says something in his letter that is radical and exciting. He says, \u201cWe love because He first loved us.\u201d Now, that sentence means a lot of things. But one thing it surely means is that true love is best born out of gratitude, not out of duty. If I would plop down on the couch, next to Luella, and I would say, \u201cYou know, Luella, I\u2019ve come to the realization that it\u2019s my duty to love you. [Laughter] So, I\u2019m going to do my duty because what else can I do?\u201d She would never walk away, saying, \u201cI\u2019ve been loved.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when I wake up in the morning and say, \u201cQuite apart from anything I could ever earn, achieve, or deserve, I\u2019ve been loved with magnificent, perseverant, transforming, forgiving love.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I am so wet with the love of Jesus\u2014that you can\u2019t get next to me without getting wet\u2014then I\u2019m ready to love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Again, you stop and think of the love the Father has for us. Imagine that kind of an approach where we go: \u201cWell, I know God is doing His duty toward me. He\u2019s obligated Himself to love me, and so He\u2019s doing it; but He really could care less about me.\u201d Well, who\u2019d be drawn to that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s right. And think about this\u2014it\u2019s actually impossible for a Christian\u2014if he\u2019s thinking well\u2014to say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what love is.\u201d If you\u2019re a believer, you have the most <em>beautiful<\/em> experience of what love is. On my creepiest days, I\u2019m still loved. In fact, God has made such a commitment to love\u2014Christ has born my rejection. I\u2019ll never see the back of God\u2019s head. What an amazing thing that is!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, I have an elaborate experience of what it means to receive the kind of love that I\u2019ve just defined\u2014while gratitude says, \u201cWouldn\u2019t it be wonderful to give that love to this life-long partner of mine?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to go back to my friend that I was talking to because I could hear him ask\u2014at this point, he would say: \u201cBut Paul, I know of God\u2019s love for me. I\u2019ve studied it.\u00a0 I\u2019ve read about it. I\u2019ve experienced it. But there are just those moments, Paul, when I feel powerless; and I feel like old habits \/ old behaviors surface\u2014and you know what?\u2014 I just become plain selfish again. Where does the power come from to be able to love like you\u2019re talking about?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I think one of the most important passages for marriage is Galatians 2:20: \u201cI\u2019ve been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live. Christ lives in me. And the life I live, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHistorical fact: I\u2019ve been crucified with Christ. I\u2019m identified with his life, death, and resurrection. Statement of present redemptive reality: I no longer live. <em>Christ<\/em> lives in me. This is mind-boggling beautiful\u2014that God knew\u2014because of who I am and where I\u2019m living\u2014it\u2019s not enough to forgive me. He literally unzips me and gets inside of me. So, the living presence of Christ now lives inside of me. When Paul says, \u201cI no longer live,\u201d he\u2019s not meaning he\u2019s dead because he wouldn\u2019t be writing. What he means is: \u201cNow, what energizes me is not me\u2014it\u2019s the life of Christ.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s the third phrase. I think it\u2019s very important: \u201cThe life I live, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me.\u201d That\u2019s a confession: \u201cI\u2019m going to live like I actually believe that Christ is with me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, in this moment of irritation, I go back to my bedroom. I say: \u201cJesus, I can\u2019t do this.\u00a0 There\u2019s everything inside of me that wants me to rip Luella, and I don\u2019t want to rip her in this moment. I know this is wrong. Please help me. I\u2019m going to walk down this hallway, believing that Jesus is with me; and I\u2019m going to ask forgiveness from this woman that I\u2019d like to rip.\u201d That\u2019s<em> living<\/em> the gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, as you quoted that verse, I was drawn back to when the lights came on for that verse, for me. I don\u2019t remember the specific occurrence; but I remember thinking, \u201cI am crucified with Christ; therefore, I no longer live.\u201d It all sounded kind of metaphysical and ethereal. I don\u2019t know how I came to it; but I took the word \u201cI\u201d out, and I just put \u201cself\u201d in its place: \u201cSelf is crucified with Christ; therefore, self no longer lives. Jesus Christ now lives in me; and then, the life I live now, is motivated by the Son of God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo see it that way\u2014and to see what we\u2019re really talking about is a death to self being the directive force of your life\u2014and instead, Jesus Christ being the directive force of your life\u2014so the life you now live, you live by faith to that what He\u2019s calling you to do is better than what self is still banging around and saying: \u201cNo, you like this. Come on, try this. You\u2019ll love it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> And in His living presence with me that\u2014let me say it this way: \u201cEvery day every married couple, husband and wife, measure their potential. It\u2019s intensely human to do it. I\u2019m always measuring my potential\u2014what potential I have to live through this day\u2014what potential I have in my job. You know, we\u2019re always measuring potential.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Paul is saying is: \u201cDon\u2019t measure your potential just by your track record or the size of your problem. Your potential is Christ.\u00a0 He\u2019s now living in you. He is in you, with you, for you. You, now, have power to do what you would not have been able to do, apart from Christ.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would ask the husbands and wives, who are discouraged in marriages right now: \u201cHow are you measuring your potential? Has Christ been part of that measurement?\u201d\u00a0 Because if it\u2019s only your track record, and only the size of the problem\u2014the problem is getting bigger \/ the track record is getting longer. You give way to discouragement\u2014panic, denial\u2014all those kinds of things. It\u2019s when I say, \u201cChrist is my potential,\u201d I step forward with courage and hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. What <em>can\u2019t<\/em> He do through you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.\u201d In fact, we were talking with a couple, not long ago, Paul. They had had a marriage situation where there had been infidelity, and there was anger in the marriage. It looked like it was over. The wife went to a marriage counselor. She, basically, said to the counselor, \u201cThere\u2019s no hope left for our marriage.\u201d In the middle of the counseling session, this counselor stopped her and said: \u201cLet me ask you a question. Do you believe Jesus came back from the dead?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cWell, yes.\u201d He said, \u201cNo, you didn\u2019t hear me, <em>do you believe<\/em> Jesus came back from the dead?\u201d She said, \u201cYes.\u201d He said, \u201cAnd you don\u2019t think there\u2019s any hope for your marriage?\u201d And it was the breaking point for her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Amen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014to go, \u201cHmmm, if I really do believe <em>this<\/em> is true\u2014that Jesus came back from the dead\u2014there\u2019s hope for <em>anything<\/em>;\u201d right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Amen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Paul, I want to ask you for a little personal self-disclosure, at this point.\u00a0 When did you first love Luella with this kind of love?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Never. I think that I am not a grace graduate. I am very committed to this lifestyle. I have grown <em>enormously<\/em> in the willingness to make sacrifices for my wife, to not ask for reciprocation, to not ask for her to be deserving; but I\u2019m in the middle of that process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, by God\u2019s grace, I celebrate what has already happened; and I\u2019m expectant of what is to come. You live that way\u2014you\u2019re in a good place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. I think what our listeners need to take heart in is\u2014I think nearly all marriages experience profound disappointment\u2014profound dysfunction\u2014popular word we use today\u2014all kinds of issues like pornography, affairs, lying, cheating, deception with one another\u2014and they don\u2019t have a way out. They don\u2019t know what the solution is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where this book, right here, the Bible\u2014and I go: \u201cWhat would I say on this radio program today, if you took the Bible out of my hand, and I couldn\u2019t speak the truth about the cross, and call people back to an event that illustrates the love of Christ? I don\u2019t know what solution you\u2019d have for two broken, selfish people, living in this culture, because it feels like it is out of control.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> You teach the skills of marital d\u00e9tente\u2014how we negotiate one another\u2019s selfishness, and we quit fighting, and we don\u2019t have explosions\u2014but it\u2019s not love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you say, in the book, that most people are coasting when it comes to marriage. How do we get out of the coasting rut and get the car back into drive?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> See, I think what the book, <em>What Did You Expect?<\/em>, does is\u2014it just takes the Bible seriously. We\u2019re needy people. We haven\u2019t arrived to a point where we\u2019re okay. We still need God\u2019s grace and God\u2019s help. If we\u2019re needy people, then we\u2019re going to make mistakes. We need to confess those. We need to forgive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to say where there are weeds of bad behavior in our relationship\u2014where they need to be pulled up\u2014what seeds need to be planted. It\u2019s that process: \u201cHow do we build trust between one another? What does it look like to love this person in a Christ-like way? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do we deal with the differences that we have\u2014we come from different backgrounds? How do we esteem those under grace?\u201d Here\u2019s what I think we have to have. We have to have a work ethic\u2014marriage is work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I think we\u2019re lazy. People ask me about my marriage. I say, \u201cI have a <em>great<\/em> marriage. I am so excited for marriage.\u201d Then, I say, \u201cWe\u2019re still working on our marriage.\u201d It\u2019s that work ethic, and I can do that because I believe in God\u2019s grace. I believe in His presence, and we\u2019ve already harvested the fruit of that work in our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Earlier this week, Paul, I went to a homeless shelter. It\u2019s an unusual homeless shelter. It takes care of married couples and families that are homeless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was walking around there\u2014seeing the programs and seeing what they had in place for these people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just amazed at the expressed love to these who have lost their homes. They\u2019ve lost their credit rating. They\u2019ve been living under railroad trestles with infants. I mean\u2014bizarre stuff. I thought, \u201cThese people in this homeless center need to be trained in how to have a real marriage with a real person.\u201d As I was driving away, I thought, \u201cThere are a lot of people in mansions\u2014who are not homeless\u2014who need the same thing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Our need, as human beings, may be more acutely seen in someone who, in our culture, has\u201d lost it all\u201d. But our real needs are most exposed in the most intimate of all relationships, marriage. It exposes who we are\u2014that we are imposters, that we are in need of a Savior, we are in need of redemption.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe same power that raised Christ from the dead can empower that listener, right now, who\u2019s in a marriage that\u2019s tough. And you know what? I think most marriages are tough\u2014if not all\u2014because you need the love of Christ to rule in your heart richly if you\u2019re going to build the kind of marriage that goes the distance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want you to know that I appreciate you, your ministry\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014all that you\u2019ve done in your writing, and in your training, and just exhorting our listeners to not settle for second best. But, as I said earlier\u2014to be a little bit of a trouble-maker, and kind of stir the pot, and force people out of their routines and what\u2019s become predictable. I just appreciate you, Paul. You\u2019re a good man\u2014and appreciate you and your ministry, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I know a lot of our listeners appreciate the contribution that you made to <em>The Art of Marriage\u2014<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\talong with Dennis, and Crawford Loritts, and Voddie Baucham, and Al Mohler, and Michael Easley, and Mary Kassian, and Barbara Rainey, and others who were contributors to this six-session, Friday night\u00a0 \/ Saturday video event, that FamilyLife has created, that has now been seen by more than 350,000 people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou stop and think about it\u2014that\u2019s a lot of people\u2014but there are a lot more marriages than 350,000. That\u2019s one of the reasons why our team has its eyes on Valentine\u2019s Day in 2014 because Valentine\u2019s Day is on a Friday. Everybody was thinking that might be an ideal weekend for churches to host an event to strengthen marriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t have to be <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>. You can do your own home-grown event. You can do <em>Love and Respect <\/em>or any of a number of series that are available for use. But we thought: \u201cIf you wanted to do <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>, do two sessions on Friday night \/ four sessions on Saturday,\u201d\u2014hosted by anybody. Really, any married couple can host this event.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what I recommend you do: First of all, go to FamilyLifeToday.com; and click the link for <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>so we can get you a certificate for a free event kit. We\u2019re only giving out these certificates between now and Thanksgiving\u2014so you need to go <em>today<\/em> and get your certificate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, once you have the certificate, go to the pastor and say: \u201cCould my spouse and I host <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>at our church Valentine\u2019s weekend?\u201d or, \u201cIs there another weekend that would work better? We\u2019ll do it Friday night \/ Saturday.\u201d I\u2019m guessing your pastor is going to love the idea that you lead some kind of a ministry effort like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, you spread the word through your church, social media\u2014we\u2019ve had people do all kinds of things\u2014flyers. We can help you put posters together\u2014whatever you want to do to help spread the word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd when you\u2019re ready to order workbooks for the couples who are coming to your event\u2014as long as you\u2019re ordering workbooks for more than five couples\u2014you can cash in that certificate for the free <em>Art of Marriage <\/em>event kit. That gives you the DVDs, another workbook, and the Leader\u2019s Guide\u2014everything you need to pull off an <em>Art of Marriage <\/em>event; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe really want to partner with you in making this happen. All you need to do today is go toFamilyLifeToday.com, click the link for <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>, get your certificate, and then start making plans for what weekend works best for you\u2014either Valentine\u2019s weekend or another weekend in 2014. If you have any questions about <em>The Art of Marriage,<\/em> call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY; or look online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t forget to get a copy of Paul David Tripp\u2019s book, <em>What Did You Expect?<\/em> We have that in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center\u2014a great book for couples to go through, talking about how to strengthen your marriage relationship. Order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd as always, we are grateful for our partners in ministry\u2014that\u2019s folks, like you\u2014our Legacy Partners\u2014who help support this ministry each month with your financial contributions\u2014and those of you who get in touch with us, occasionally, to make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate your linking arms with us in this ministry. In fact, this month, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for your partnership,\u201d by sending you a resource that Barbara Rainey has developed that\u2019s great for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. It\u2019s called Untie Your Story\u2014it\u2019s ribbons to wrap the napkins in. Each ribbon has a question for someone to answer during the holiday meal. It\u2019s designed to spark some more meaningful conversation at the dinner table.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says \u201cI CARE\u201d, you can make an online donation. We\u2019ll send this resource out to you. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can make your donation over the phone and ask for the Untie Your Storyresource when you donate. Or if you prefer, write a check and mail it to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR, and the zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, ask for the Untie Your Storyresource when you get in touch with us to make a donation. \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for whatever you are able to do in support of the ministry this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to spend some time getting to know the author of <em>The<\/em> <em>Jesus Storybook Bible.<\/em> Her name is Sally Lloyd-Jones, and she joins us tomorrow. Hope you can be back with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<sup>\u00a9<\/sup>Song:\u00a0<em>Love Will Keep Us Together<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0Captain &amp; Tennille\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0<em>Ultimate Collection: Captain &amp; Tennille<\/em>, (p) 2001 Universal Music\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0Enterprises, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<sup>\u00a9<\/sup>Song:\u00a0<em>Por Amor Viviremos<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0Captain &amp; Tennille\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0 \u00a0<em>Ultimate Collection: Captain &amp; Tennille<\/em>, (p) 2001 Universal Music\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0Enterprises, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<sup>\u00a9<\/sup>Song:\u00a0<em>Sunshine of Your Love<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0Cream\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0<em>The Very Best of Cream<\/em>, (p) 1995 Universal International Music B.V.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["21.45M"],"filesize_raw":["22487705"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302865.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302865.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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counselor Paul David Tripp explains that love is willing self-sacrifice.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-11-20.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So where exactly did we learn what true love is supposed to look like?\u00a0 Well, too many of us learned it from listening to songs like this on pop radio\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music and lyrics of <em>Love Will Keep Us Together<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, do you think they had it right?\u2014Captain and Tennille? Well, I guess it depends on how you define love; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music and lyrics by Captain &amp; Tennille]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 20<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. So who do you think has got it right?\u2014the Captain and Tennille?\u2014or Paul David Trip? We\u2019ll see if we can tackle that question today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music and lyrics]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re kind of grooving here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a Neil Sedaka\u2014he wrote that song\u2014Captain and Tennille performing it.\u00a0 And I know I had the Spanish language album of that: <em>Por Amor Viviremos<\/em>. [Singing] Por\u2014por amor viviremos! Huh? What do you think? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music and Spanish lyrics by Captain &amp; Tennille]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, love will keep us together. That\u2019s our enduring message, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is, and we have\u2014to speak to that subject\u2014Paul David Tripp, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 He\u2019s the author of <em>What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You a big Captain and Tennille fan, Paul?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Oh yes, definitely\u2014[Laughter]\u2014even more so, now. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m sure you are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m guessing you were more of a Cream kind of guy; weren\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music by Cream]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely. You just hit it right on the head!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I could tell. I could tell.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to pull both of you guys out of the past to the present. [Laughter] I was in a meeting with a guy, the other day, who had come to me for some advice. This friend has been married for 20 years; okay? Now, I\u2019m going to pose this question to you, Paul, and just ask you to address his need here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe had been married 20 years. He is sitting there, talking to me; and he is going: \u201cDennis, I do not know how to love my wife. I\u2019ve been married 20 years. It\u2019s just dawning on me\u2014I\u2019m not a safe person. I\u2019ve not created a safe marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur marriage has all four wheels off in the ditch, right now. I\u2019m on one side and she\u2019s on the other side of the ditch.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re in need of a primer\u2014some basic teachings around how they both begin to love\u2014but I was speaking to the husband, in this case. Where would you begin with a man, who\u2019s just realizing: \u201cYou know what? This love-thing, that we just heard the song about\u2014it\u2019s more than just a popular song.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Or more than just a romantic feeling. You have to uproot some of those misconceptions about love to start off; don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes, and you\u2019ve named one of them. I think maybe there are three or four big ones. The first one is that love is romance. It\u2019s that cards-and-flowers kind of view of love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second is that love sort of is Western-culture \u201cnice\u201d\u2014it\u2019s being \u201cnice\u201d to you. I think it\u2019s very important to realize that it\u2019s nice to be nice, but you can be nice to somebody you hate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s what I think is the radical thing\u2014that a believer in the Bible would be the <em>only one<\/em> who would <em>ever <\/em>say\u2014is that you get your best definition of love from an event, and that event is the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the Bible calls us to \u201ccruciform\u201d love. Let me explain that term. <em>Cruci<\/em> means cross. Form means \u201cin the shape of\u201d\u2014love that shapes itself to the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is exactly what John does in First John 4. John says, \u201cThis is love.\u201d If love has to be forced, demanded, manipulated\u2014it\u2019s not love. The very nature of love is willing. Jesus said: \u201cNo one takes my life from me. I lay it down of my own accord.\u201d\u00a0 Love is willing. Love is willing self-sacrifice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don\u2019t hear anything I say in this broadcast, hear this:\u00a0 \u201cThere is no such thing as love without sacrifice because I have to step out of my wants, my needs, my plans, and my agenda. Love is always costly\u2014the name of the game. It cost Christ His <em>life<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLove is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another. I\u2019m motivated by your good. I\u2019m motivated by what is best, right, good, true, beneficial, wise, and beautiful for you. That motivates me\u2014not just this narrow world of:\u00a0 \u201cI know what I want my day, my week, and my life to look like,\u201d\u2014but I\u2019m actually engaged\u2014that I can be part of good in another person. How cool is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> And then it does not require reciprocation. Love is not a contract. It\u2019s a sacrifice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When you say reciprocation, you\u2019re saying: \u201cI did this for you. Then, you\u2019re going to do this for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cYou owe me.\u201d Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 And see, I think the average definition of love\u2014exactly that\u2014makes love a contract. It\u2019s a sacrifice. And, if I could add this final piece: \u201cLove is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another, that doesn\u2019t demand reciprocation\u2014it\u2019s not a contract; it\u2019s a sacrifice\u2014or that the person being loved is deserving.\u201d If I only love you when you deserved to be loved, who am I actually loving?\u2014I\u2019m loving me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I believe that the Scripture teaches that love does its <em>best<\/em>, most beautiful work when that person doesn\u2019t deserve it. You\u2019re married to a sinner. They\u2019re going to say bad things. They\u2019re going to do bad things. They\u2019re going to have bad days. That\u2019s when love rises and lives in all of its beauty. Now, if I was listening to this, the next question I would ask is, \u201cWhere do I get this love?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJohn says something in his letter that is radical and exciting. He says, \u201cWe love because He first loved us.\u201d Now, that sentence means a lot of things. But one thing it surely means is that true love is best born out of gratitude, not out of duty. If I would plop down on the couch, next to Luella, and I would say, \u201cYou know, Luella, I\u2019ve come to the realization that it\u2019s my duty to love you. [Laughter] So, I\u2019m going to do my duty because what else can I do?\u201d She would never walk away, saying, \u201cI\u2019ve been loved.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when I wake up in the morning and say, \u201cQuite apart from anything I could ever earn, achieve, or deserve, I\u2019ve been loved with magnificent, perseverant, transforming, forgiving love.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I am so wet with the love of Jesus\u2014that you can\u2019t get next to me without getting wet\u2014then I\u2019m ready to love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Again, you stop and think of the love the Father has for us. Imagine that kind of an approach where we go: \u201cWell, I know God is doing His duty toward me. He\u2019s obligated Himself to love me, and so He\u2019s doing it; but He really could care less about me.\u201d Well, who\u2019d be drawn to that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s right. And think about this\u2014it\u2019s actually impossible for a Christian\u2014if he\u2019s thinking well\u2014to say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what love is.\u201d If you\u2019re a believer, you have the most <em>beautiful<\/em> experience of what love is. On my creepiest days, I\u2019m still loved. In fact, God has made such a commitment to love\u2014Christ has born my rejection. I\u2019ll never see the back of God\u2019s head. What an amazing thing that is!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, I have an elaborate experience of what it means to receive the kind of love that I\u2019ve just defined\u2014while gratitude says, \u201cWouldn\u2019t it be wonderful to give that love to this life-long partner of mine?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to go back to my friend that I was talking to because I could hear him ask\u2014at this point, he would say: \u201cBut Paul, I know of God\u2019s love for me. I\u2019ve studied it.\u00a0 I\u2019ve read about it. I\u2019ve experienced it. But there are just those moments, Paul, when I feel powerless; and I feel like old habits \/ old behaviors surface\u2014and you know what?\u2014 I just become plain selfish again. Where does the power come from to be able to love like you\u2019re talking about?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I think one of the most important passages for marriage is Galatians 2:20: \u201cI\u2019ve been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live. Christ lives in me. And the life I live, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHistorical fact: I\u2019ve been crucified with Christ. I\u2019m identified with his life, death, and resurrection. Statement of present redemptive reality: I no longer live. <em>Christ<\/em> lives in me. This is mind-boggling beautiful\u2014that God knew\u2014because of who I am and where I\u2019m living\u2014it\u2019s not enough to forgive me. He literally unzips me and gets inside of me. So, the living presence of Christ now lives inside of me. When Paul says, \u201cI no longer live,\u201d he\u2019s not meaning he\u2019s dead because he wouldn\u2019t be writing. What he means is: \u201cNow, what energizes me is not me\u2014it\u2019s the life of Christ.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s the third phrase. I think it\u2019s very important: \u201cThe life I live, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me.\u201d That\u2019s a confession: \u201cI\u2019m going to live like I actually believe that Christ is with me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, in this moment of irritation, I go back to my bedroom. I say: \u201cJesus, I can\u2019t do this.\u00a0 There\u2019s everything inside of me that wants me to rip Luella, and I don\u2019t want to rip her in this moment. I know this is wrong. Please help me. I\u2019m going to walk down this hallway, believing that Jesus is with me; and I\u2019m going to ask forgiveness from this woman that I\u2019d like to rip.\u201d That\u2019s<em> living<\/em> the gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, as you quoted that verse, I was drawn back to when the lights came on for that verse, for me. I don\u2019t remember the specific occurrence; but I remember thinking, \u201cI am crucified with Christ; therefore, I no longer live.\u201d It all sounded kind of metaphysical and ethereal. I don\u2019t know how I came to it; but I took the word \u201cI\u201d out, and I just put \u201cself\u201d in its place: \u201cSelf is crucified with Christ; therefore, self no longer lives. Jesus Christ now lives in me; and then, the life I live now, is motivated by the Son of God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo see it that way\u2014and to see what we\u2019re really talking about is a death to self being the directive force of your life\u2014and instead, Jesus Christ being the directive force of your life\u2014so the life you now live, you live by faith to that what He\u2019s calling you to do is better than what self is still banging around and saying: \u201cNo, you like this. Come on, try this. You\u2019ll love it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> And in His living presence with me that\u2014let me say it this way: \u201cEvery day every married couple, husband and wife, measure their potential. It\u2019s intensely human to do it. I\u2019m always measuring my potential\u2014what potential I have to live through this day\u2014what potential I have in my job. You know, we\u2019re always measuring potential.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Paul is saying is: \u201cDon\u2019t measure your potential just by your track record or the size of your problem. Your potential is Christ.\u00a0 He\u2019s now living in you. He is in you, with you, for you. You, now, have power to do what you would not have been able to do, apart from Christ.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would ask the husbands and wives, who are discouraged in marriages right now: \u201cHow are you measuring your potential? Has Christ been part of that measurement?\u201d\u00a0 Because if it\u2019s only your track record, and only the size of the problem\u2014the problem is getting bigger \/ the track record is getting longer. You give way to discouragement\u2014panic, denial\u2014all those kinds of things. It\u2019s when I say, \u201cChrist is my potential,\u201d I step forward with courage and hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. What <em>can\u2019t<\/em> He do through you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.\u201d In fact, we were talking with a couple, not long ago, Paul. They had had a marriage situation where there had been infidelity, and there was anger in the marriage. It looked like it was over. The wife went to a marriage counselor. She, basically, said to the counselor, \u201cThere\u2019s no hope left for our marriage.\u201d In the middle of the counseling session, this counselor stopped her and said: \u201cLet me ask you a question. Do you believe Jesus came back from the dead?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cWell, yes.\u201d He said, \u201cNo, you didn\u2019t hear me, <em>do you believe<\/em> Jesus came back from the dead?\u201d She said, \u201cYes.\u201d He said, \u201cAnd you don\u2019t think there\u2019s any hope for your marriage?\u201d And it was the breaking point for her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Amen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014to go, \u201cHmmm, if I really do believe <em>this<\/em> is true\u2014that Jesus came back from the dead\u2014there\u2019s hope for <em>anything<\/em>;\u201d right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Amen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Paul, I want to ask you for a little personal self-disclosure, at this point.\u00a0 When did you first love Luella with this kind of love?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Never. I think that I am not a grace graduate. I am very committed to this lifestyle. I have grown <em>enormously<\/em> in the willingness to make sacrifices for my wife, to not ask for reciprocation, to not ask for her to be deserving; but I\u2019m in the middle of that process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, by God\u2019s grace, I celebrate what has already happened; and I\u2019m expectant of what is to come. You live that way\u2014you\u2019re in a good place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. I think what our listeners need to take heart in is\u2014I think nearly all marriages experience profound disappointment\u2014profound dysfunction\u2014popular word we use today\u2014all kinds of issues like pornography, affairs, lying, cheating, deception with one another\u2014and they don\u2019t have a way out. They don\u2019t know what the solution is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where this book, right here, the Bible\u2014and I go: \u201cWhat would I say on this radio program today, if you took the Bible out of my hand, and I couldn\u2019t speak the truth about the cross, and call people back to an event that illustrates the love of Christ? I don\u2019t know what solution you\u2019d have for two broken, selfish people, living in this culture, because it feels like it is out of control.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> You teach the skills of marital d\u00e9tente\u2014how we negotiate one another\u2019s selfishness, and we quit fighting, and we don\u2019t have explosions\u2014but it\u2019s not love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you say, in the book, that most people are coasting when it comes to marriage. How do we get out of the coasting rut and get the car back into drive?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> See, I think what the book, <em>What Did You Expect?<\/em>, does is\u2014it just takes the Bible seriously. We\u2019re needy people. We haven\u2019t arrived to a point where we\u2019re okay. We still need God\u2019s grace and God\u2019s help. If we\u2019re needy people, then we\u2019re going to make mistakes. We need to confess those. We need to forgive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to say where there are weeds of bad behavior in our relationship\u2014where they need to be pulled up\u2014what seeds need to be planted. It\u2019s that process: \u201cHow do we build trust between one another? What does it look like to love this person in a Christ-like way? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do we deal with the differences that we have\u2014we come from different backgrounds? How do we esteem those under grace?\u201d Here\u2019s what I think we have to have. We have to have a work ethic\u2014marriage is work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I think we\u2019re lazy. People ask me about my marriage. I say, \u201cI have a <em>great<\/em> marriage. I am so excited for marriage.\u201d Then, I say, \u201cWe\u2019re still working on our marriage.\u201d It\u2019s that work ethic, and I can do that because I believe in God\u2019s grace. I believe in His presence, and we\u2019ve already harvested the fruit of that work in our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Earlier this week, Paul, I went to a homeless shelter. It\u2019s an unusual homeless shelter. It takes care of married couples and families that are homeless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was walking around there\u2014seeing the programs and seeing what they had in place for these people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just amazed at the expressed love to these who have lost their homes. They\u2019ve lost their credit rating. They\u2019ve been living under railroad trestles with infants. I mean\u2014bizarre stuff. I thought, \u201cThese people in this homeless center need to be trained in how to have a real marriage with a real person.\u201d As I was driving away, I thought, \u201cThere are a lot of people in mansions\u2014who are not homeless\u2014who need the same thing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Our need, as human beings, may be more acutely seen in someone who, in our culture, has\u201d lost it all\u201d. But our real needs are most exposed in the most intimate of all relationships, marriage. It exposes who we are\u2014that we are imposters, that we are in need of a Savior, we are in need of redemption.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe same power that raised Christ from the dead can empower that listener, right now, who\u2019s in a marriage that\u2019s tough. And you know what? I think most marriages are tough\u2014if not all\u2014because you need the love of Christ to rule in your heart richly if you\u2019re going to build the kind of marriage that goes the distance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want you to know that I appreciate you, your ministry\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014all that you\u2019ve done in your writing, and in your training, and just exhorting our listeners to not settle for second best. But, as I said earlier\u2014to be a little bit of a trouble-maker, and kind of stir the pot, and force people out of their routines and what\u2019s become predictable. I just appreciate you, Paul. You\u2019re a good man\u2014and appreciate you and your ministry, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I know a lot of our listeners appreciate the contribution that you made to <em>The Art of Marriage\u2014<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\talong with Dennis, and Crawford Loritts, and Voddie Baucham, and Al Mohler, and Michael Easley, and Mary Kassian, and Barbara Rainey, and others who were contributors to this six-session, Friday night\u00a0 \/ Saturday video event, that FamilyLife has created, that has now been seen by more than 350,000 people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou stop and think about it\u2014that\u2019s a lot of people\u2014but there are a lot more marriages than 350,000. That\u2019s one of the reasons why our team has its eyes on Valentine\u2019s Day in 2014 because Valentine\u2019s Day is on a Friday. Everybody was thinking that might be an ideal weekend for churches to host an event to strengthen marriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t have to be <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>. You can do your own home-grown event. You can do <em>Love and Respect <\/em>or any of a number of series that are available for use. But we thought: \u201cIf you wanted to do <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>, do two sessions on Friday night \/ four sessions on Saturday,\u201d\u2014hosted by anybody. Really, any married couple can host this event.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what I recommend you do: First of all, go to FamilyLifeToday.com; and click the link for <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>so we can get you a certificate for a free event kit. We\u2019re only giving out these certificates between now and Thanksgiving\u2014so you need to go <em>today<\/em> and get your certificate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, once you have the certificate, go to the pastor and say: \u201cCould my spouse and I host <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>at our church Valentine\u2019s weekend?\u201d or, \u201cIs there another weekend that would work better? We\u2019ll do it Friday night \/ Saturday.\u201d I\u2019m guessing your pastor is going to love the idea that you lead some kind of a ministry effort like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, you spread the word through your church, social media\u2014we\u2019ve had people do all kinds of things\u2014flyers. We can help you put posters together\u2014whatever you want to do to help spread the word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd when you\u2019re ready to order workbooks for the couples who are coming to your event\u2014as long as you\u2019re ordering workbooks for more than five couples\u2014you can cash in that certificate for the free <em>Art of Marriage <\/em>event kit. That gives you the DVDs, another workbook, and the Leader\u2019s Guide\u2014everything you need to pull off an <em>Art of Marriage <\/em>event; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe really want to partner with you in making this happen. All you need to do today is go toFamilyLifeToday.com, click the link for <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>, get your certificate, and then start making plans for what weekend works best for you\u2014either Valentine\u2019s weekend or another weekend in 2014. If you have any questions about <em>The Art of Marriage,<\/em> call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY; or look online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t forget to get a copy of Paul David Tripp\u2019s book, <em>What Did You Expect?<\/em> We have that in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center\u2014a great book for couples to go through, talking about how to strengthen your marriage relationship. Order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd as always, we are grateful for our partners in ministry\u2014that\u2019s folks, like you\u2014our Legacy Partners\u2014who help support this ministry each month with your financial contributions\u2014and those of you who get in touch with us, occasionally, to make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate your linking arms with us in this ministry. In fact, this month, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for your partnership,\u201d by sending you a resource that Barbara Rainey has developed that\u2019s great for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. It\u2019s called Untie Your Story\u2014it\u2019s ribbons to wrap the napkins in. Each ribbon has a question for someone to answer during the holiday meal. It\u2019s designed to spark some more meaningful conversation at the dinner table.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says \u201cI CARE\u201d, you can make an online donation. We\u2019ll send this resource out to you. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can make your donation over the phone and ask for the Untie Your Storyresource when you donate. Or if you prefer, write a check and mail it to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR, and the zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, ask for the Untie Your Storyresource when you get in touch with us to make a donation. \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for whatever you are able to do in support of the ministry this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to spend some time getting to know the author of <em>The<\/em> <em>Jesus Storybook Bible.<\/em> Her name is Sally Lloyd-Jones, and she joins us tomorrow. Hope you can be back with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<sup>\u00a9<\/sup>Song:\u00a0<em>Love Will Keep Us Together<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0Captain &amp; Tennille\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0<em>Ultimate Collection: Captain &amp; Tennille<\/em>, (p) 2001 Universal Music\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0Enterprises, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<sup>\u00a9<\/sup>Song:\u00a0<em>Por Amor Viviremos<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0Captain &amp; Tennille\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0 \u00a0<em>Ultimate Collection: Captain &amp; Tennille<\/em>, (p) 2001 Universal Music\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0Enterprises, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<sup>\u00a9<\/sup>Song:\u00a0<em>Sunshine of Your Love<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0Cream\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0<em>The Very Best of Cream<\/em>, (p) 1995 Universal International Music B.V.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302865","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302865"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302865"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302865"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302865"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}