{"id":302858,"date":"2013-11-01T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-11-01T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/loving-your-neighbor-without-being-weird\/"},"modified":"2013-11-01T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-11-01T15:00:00","slug":"loving-your-neighbor-without-being-weird","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/loving-your-neighbor-without-being-weird\/","title":{"rendered":"Loving Your Neighbor Without Being Weird"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Amy Lively encourages listeners to love their neighbors in a whole new way by inviting them into their homes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-11-01.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.26M","filesize_raw":"27539133","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2821],"tags":[2639],"podcast_series":[7980],"cwp_profile":[3137],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302858","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reaching-out","tag-sharing-your-faith","podcast_series-the-neighborhood-cafe","cwp_profile-amy-lively","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302858\/loving-your-neighbor-without-being-weird","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302858\/loving-your-neighbor-without-being-weird","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"KuW7f1U1n1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/loving-your-neighbor-without-being-weird\/\">Loving Your Neighbor Without Being Weird<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/loving-your-neighbor-without-being-weird\/embed\/#?secret=KuW7f1U1n1\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Loving Your Neighbor Without Being Weird&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"KuW7f1U1n1\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Amy Lively encourages listeners to love their neighbors in a whole new way by inviting them into their homes.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-11-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. There is a connection between hospitality and the mission that God has called every one of us to\u2014the Great Commission. We\u2019ll talk about that connection today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, in the Bible, one of the spiritual gifts that is described\u2014I think it\u2019s in First Corinthians, Chapter 12, where it lists a bunch of spiritual gifts. One of them is the gift of evangelism. I\u2019ve heard people, over the years, who have looked at that list and said, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s not my gift,\u201d and maybe thought to themselves, as a result, \u201cI don\u2019t have any responsibility in this area.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That excuses them\u2014right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But Jesus seemed to have a different opinion; didn\u2019t He?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He did. He commanded us to go to the world. Sometimes, that world is right next door\u2014it\u2019s not across the big pond to another country\u2014to a Third World country. It\u2019s to a neighbor, who is isolated\u2014who lives just down the street\u2014who needs us to come: [Sound of knocking] \u201cHi! I\u2019m Dennis, and I\u2019m your neighbor. I\u2019m really sorry I haven\u2019t met you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was the training that we received, earlier, from Amy Lively, who heads up a ministry called The Neighborhood Caf\u00e9. Welcome back, Amy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Amy and her husband David live in Lancaster, Ohio. They\u2019ve been married for 23 years. They have a totally obedient daughter, Emma\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Absolutely! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and a very holy dog by the name of\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Lily.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Lily? Oh, that\u2019s pretty! I\u2019ve got a granddaughter named Lily.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and an unsaintly cat. What\u2019s his name?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Stone. [Laughter] He\u2019s got a heart of stone. [Laughter] I just call him Mister.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She has put together a kit that really helps people reach out to their neighbors and get connected. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you know, I\u2019m just sitting here thinking\u2014this time of year\u2014between now and the end of the year\u2014if there\u2019s ever a time to open your home and invite folks in, this really is a set-up time of year to open up your home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> This is the perfect time of year because\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tat this time of year, it\u2019s not unexpected to get something from your neighbors.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When there\u2019s an invitation to come to a holiday open house, that\u2019s a great opening opportunity to get to know folks. You would use that as a preliminary event and then invite folks: \u201cAfter the first of the year, we\u2019re going to start getting together, every other week, for a Bible study,\u201d or, \u201c\u2026to go through a book for a book club.\u201d Do you call it a Bible study? How do you describe it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> I do call it a Bible study. I call it a devotional. I call it a gathering. After a while, it becomes the caf\u00e9: \u201cAre you going to caf\u00e9 this week?\u201d\u2014as they [begin] to understand that. It has to be natural for the hostess\u2014so, come up with whatever works for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have to go all the way back on this because we talked about you getting this prompting and kind of denying it for eight months. I think all of us have had this sense that: \u201cBoy! We ought to do that.\u201d But something pushed you over the line. Where was the fire in your belly? Do you think you just have a burden for evangelism?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy: <\/strong>I do, but that was a long process. God had to really break my heart for my neighbors. What happened\u2014when I first heard the words, \u201cneighborhood Bible study\u201d, I was so excited to do it. I had a little logo, and what I was going to say on the invitation. I knew how it would all play out. When the reality of that hit me, and I thought of what it would actually take, I got scared. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happened was\u2014because I was being, personally, disobedient to something God had laid on my heart\u2014guess what happened? He\u2019s a loving parent. He disciplined me. My excuse of, \u201cI don\u2019t have time,\u201d\u2014He really showed me what it was like to not have time. I mean, I was working around the clock. I was taking two steps forward and three steps back. He really took my time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe understand how that works, on financial principle, when we don\u2019t give Him freely of our money. It happened with my time. My worship dried up. My time with Him dried up. My personal prayer life just flew out the window. He showed me that this desire was not about <em>me<\/em>. It was not about <em>my<\/em> ability to perform it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was about the people around me. It was about my neighbors. When He broke my heart about my neighbors, then I was able to go and do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> As you\u2019re talking, I can\u2019t help but think of what Barbara would say if she were sitting here. She would say, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you tell them\u201d\u2014because she wouldn\u2019t want to be the one to tell\u2014so, she would say, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you tell them about Adorenaments<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>?\u2014which is a new ornament that Barbara created around Christmas. It\u2019s the names of Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> That\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> way to introduce a spiritual conversation in a very natural way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is. Barbara\u2019s done this around His Christmas names and His royal names. There are seven in each set. They\u2019re priced in such a way that you could afford to give this to your immediate neighbors on your street and not go broke.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a simple way, but a nice way, to celebrate the season of Christmas and to esteem your neighbor in the process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> It is. I like to tell women that this is a whole new way to love your neighbors without being weird. We don\u2019t want to come onto people with an agenda\u2014with recruitment\u2014with something that\u2019s not interesting to them. We want to be just very natural. Everyone loves to receive a gift. People <em>love <\/em>to come into our homes. People really do\u2014I\u2019m convinced\u2014want to connect with their neighbors. Inviting them over and giving them a gift like that is a very natural way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think there are some folks, who are listening, who would be concerned that, if you had one of these introductory neighborhood caf\u00e9s, the folks who live two doors down, on the other side of the street\u2014that have the yard signs up during the political season\u2014that are different than the yard signs you would put in your yard\u2014you are going to get into World War III. The clash of the worldviews is going to come out; and you\u2019re not going to know\u2014when they start asking you all kinds of cultural or social questions\u2014you\u2019re not going to know how to answer, without looking bad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> You know, I <em>really <\/em>wanted God to give me that verse that said, \u201cLove your neighbors that are like yourself.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Yes, and that didn\u2019t happen. [Laughter] There are people who are very different from us. We have different opinions. We have different beliefs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But has that happened at your home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Never, never, never!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s my point. When people come into your home\u2014I don\u2019t quite understand the psyche of it\u2014but it\u2019s like they park those controversial issues at the curb and end up walking into your home because you\u2019ve invited them into a very personal place. They\u2019re not going to be offensive, I don\u2019t think, right off the bat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> I have never had it happen. I have never had anyone slam the door on me. I have never had anyone call me names. I\u2019ve never had anyone sic their dog on me. Everyone that I have met in my neighborhood has been kind. In my home, especially, it has <em>never<\/em> happened that we\u2014now, I\u2019m not saying that we always agree on every single thing; but those agreements have been friendly. Those agreements have been people having a conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, having that big-picture view of the different people is something that you do have to acknowledge and recognize one woman\u2019s issue and then soften that for another woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s another fear that I think some folks have\u2014and that\u2019s that: \u201cOur house isn\u2019t <em>Better Homes &amp; Gardens<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Yes, Pinterest<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is a dangerous thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. So, how do you deal with that because it really isn\u2019t about having to wow everybody.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> People are not going to remember the details of your house. They\u2019re going to remember how they <em>felt<\/em> in your house. On the other hand, there are some housekeeping things that you should take care of. I do clean one room\u2014the room where everybody is going to be. I look at it the day before, at the same time of day, so I can see, \u201cWhere does the light shine?\u201d This is the really good thing about evening gatherings. You just have to dim the lights and candles. [Laughter] I just straighten up that one room. They\u2019re not going to look under the sofa. They\u2019re not going to open the drawers. I dust the stuff on top, and clean off the upholstery. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think our homes should be ready to have people into them because they are not our homes\u2014they are the Lord\u2019s house that He has gifted to us. Maintaining the care of that is part of just our stewardship of God\u2019s gifts to us. I just try to keep it very simple. I have learned that if it\u2019s not easy for me, nobody else is going to have fun either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You have a thing that you include in The Neighborhood Caf\u00e9 kit that\u2019s called the Hostess Covenant?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> The Hostess Covenant is taken from\u2014in Paul\u2019s pastoral letters\u2014when he was telling people, \u201cHere\u2019s how to lead others.\u201d These are Scriptures I\u2019ve taken from his letters that guide the woman in her prayers for her own home and for her own neighborhood. The very first thing on the Hostess Covenant is: \u201cI commit to love my neighbors sincerely, not shove them into an agenda.\u201d This is the whole not being weird part. It just comes from <em>sincere<\/em> love of other people. The verse is First Timothy 1:5-8. In <em>The Message<\/em>, it says, \u201cThe whole point of what we\u2019re urging is simply love. Love uncontaminated by self-interest and counterfeit faith; a life open to God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s all we\u2019re asking for\u2014that\u2019s all we\u2019re asking for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> People are really looking for authentic human beings who are real\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Absolutely, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014who are willing to share their lives but, as you said, not be weird.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> You know, for some reason, the women always respond when I tell of the time\u2014when I was having an open house, and I had my house looking good. I lit a fire, but I left the flu closed. So, the <em>whole<\/em> house filled with smoke, five minutes before women were supposed to be coming over. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat endears to people because they\u2019re thinking, \u201cI\u2019ve messed up, too,\u201d\u2014just being real about my own mistakes, my own need for the Lord, and my own struggles in my life. You don\u2019t have to give gory details. You don\u2019t have to turn that into something that could be gossip; but just to say: \u201cHey, I need this more than <em>anyone<\/em>! I have received God\u2019s grace and forgiveness more than <em>anyone<\/em>. That is why I am doing this\u2014not because I am perfect, not because I have all the answers, not because I feel perfectly prepared to do this\u2014but because I have needed and received this from the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And all of us have been in homes where the hostess has, maybe, made a mistake\u2014and has then spent the evening apologizing, 43 ways south of Sunday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Well, when you have to open all of the windows\u2014and it\u2019s 20 degrees out there\u2014you do have to apologize\u2014to let the smoke out! [Laughter] But you\u2019ve got to get over it. You\u2019ve got to get over it. It\u2019s not about your house. It\u2019s not about your little Pinterest centerpiece. It is about the people, who are sitting, right in front of you, and listening to what is on their heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what Jesus did. He asked questions: \u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d \u201cWhat do you think about that?\u201d \u201cWhat do you think the Bible says about that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This may sound kind of dumb; but what\u2019s the first thing you say, as you greet people, who you don\u2019t know, who are coming to your house for the first time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> \u201cHi! My name is Amy. Welcome to my house.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Yes! It\u2019s very simple: \u201cHi! My name is Amy. Where do you live? Thank you for coming. How long have you lived here? Where did you live beforehand? Tell me about your family. Do you work outside the home?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI ask questions about their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And, obviously, this is something you\u2019ve been doing for a while. When did you have your first neighborhood caf\u00e9? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> In 2008.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Along the way, you\u2019ve run into other women, who have said: \u201cI would love to do something like that. I just need some help.\u201d You put a book together\u2014you put a planning guide together\u2014you put the invitation in\u2014you put the whole thing into a kit. You don\u2019t just want to see the Rosewood Caf\u00e9. You want to see this happening in neighborhoods, all across the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Yes. Just this morning, we had two new caf\u00e9s register through my website\u2014one in Wisconsin, and one in Illinois. I also had a request for a caf\u00e9 in Jacksonville, Florida. These are starting in neighborhoods, across America, because\u2014you know what?\u2014we\u2019re not that different. We\u2019re not that different, wherever we go. We all have the same needs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> By the way, we\u2019ve got a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. If folks want to come to your website and find out more, they can just go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the link, and they\u2019re right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAbout how many caf\u00e9s are there, around the country?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> There are caf\u00e9s from California all the way up to New England. There\u2019s one in Alaska and even one in Canada. They pretty much follow the population density\u2014a lot in the Midwest, a lot in Texas, and a lot happening in Ohio. An exact number\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014but the caf\u00e9 kits have been shipped all over the place. Women are figuring out that this is a way they can say: \u201cYou know what? I can do this!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do they have like a Zagat deal that ranks the food? [Laughter] Five star.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> We do share recipes! You know what? One of the things that I learned, along the way, is that I now have a snack sign-up list. I ask women to sign up for the different days that we\u2019re getting together. I ask someone to bring a healthy snack and someone to bring a \u201cguilty\u201d snack. That was because, first of all, it was going to be too much on me to do it. Again, I would be stressed and not enjoying it. But it also builds participation and ownership. They start sharing recipes. Again, women want a purpose. You know, we do community service projects together. Those have all just come very naturally out of the time together as we learn what\u2019s on people\u2019s hearts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The Rosewood Caf\u00e9 is not going to show up on TripAdvisor or Urbanspoon. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> I would love it! I would love it to happen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, as Amy\u2019s describing this, I\u2019m thinking back, 25 and almost 30 years ago, when you started putting together the <em>HomeBuilders Couples Series<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014these small group studies. It was this kind of neighborhood engagement that you had in mind; wasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was. You invited people in\u2014the common need of marriage got a lot of neighbors together around the Bible, practically, finding out that the issues that they were dealing with in their marriages were not unlike what was happening in ours.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Well, surprise!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes! Like normal human beings struggle with differences in their marriage. I mean, earlier, before we came together in the studio, you described your own marriage of 23 years. You said, \u201cWell, we\u2019ve still got issues.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> And I pray that we always do because that means we\u2019re growing. I\u2019m learning about God\u2019s grace in my own marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I\u2019m receiving my husband\u2019s forgiveness, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> By the way, back to Bob\u2019s point here. This really would be a great way, Bob, to crack the ice in a neighborhood toward the possibility of having a <em>HomeBuilders Couples Study<\/em> in your home or an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> small group.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> small group has some video assistance so you can watch a 30-minute video and then go through a workbook together. The <em>HomeBuilders<\/em> study guides are really more discussion-based without the video support\u2014whatever works in the dynamics of your group.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> And I\u2019ve done both. I\u2019ve done things with videos\u2014I\u2019ve done things with workbooks. I\u2019ve written my own material for it. When you build the relationship with people and you get to know\u2014\u201cOh, most of my women are married,\u201d or, \u201cEveryone has an interest in raising children,\u201d\u2014then, each neighborhood caf\u00e9 decides, on their own, what is the next best thing for them to do. It\u2019s very flexible. You can take it any direction you want. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you build strong marriages in your community\u2014not only do you have the personal blessing of knowing you\u2019ve had a small part in that\u2014that God has used you there to do His work\u2014but it builds a safe community.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How much of your life revolves around you hosting a caf\u00e9? I mean, is this something that\u2014you have your job, your family, and the caf\u00e9 ministry?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Well, because it\u2019s a ministry, for me, it\u2019s a lot more. When I think about just <em>my <\/em>neighborhood and <em>my <\/em>home\u2014because one of the things that God has always told me is: \u201cAmy, you\u2019ve got to do it. You can\u2019t just preach it. You\u2019ve got to do it.\u201d So, I do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, to host an open house, would take:\u00a0 a couple of hours to pass out the invitations\u2014we do try to connect with people individually; getting my house ready\u2014an hour or so; preparing my heart is a daily matter; the actual of having them in\u2014I do about 90 minutes. It\u2019s about two hours, from before and afterwards.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Share with our listeners how you involve Emma. She\u2019s a teenager. Undoubtedly, she\u2019s involved in these things. She helps you; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Well, most of the time, she\u2019s at school because I have done it in the morning. Our neighborhood does not have a lot of kids her age\u2014so this has not been her passion the way it\u2019s been mine. But one thing that is very important is\u2014if you\u2019re married and if you have a family, that this is something your family understands\u2014that I think our most important ministry is in our home, first of all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think your kids have to be perfect. I don\u2019t think you have to have a marriage that\u2019s all together in order to be hospitable to your neighbors. But I would say to make sure you have your family\u2019s alignment on this is very, very important\u2014as well as church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, the folks, who are listening, are going: \u201cOkay, maybe, I\u2019m getting one of those taps. Maybe, eight months from now, I\u2019ll act on it.\u201d It took you eight months before you did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Yes. I get emails from people who say, \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking about this for a couple of years.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay\u2014so, somebody who\u2019s thinking about this\u2014and thinking, \u201cMaybe, I should do this,\u201d\u2014and they want to go ahead and get the kit\u2014what\u2019s the kit going to provide for them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> The kit is going to have everything they need to host their open house\u2014in terms of inviting people into their home\u2014letting them know what to say when they knock on the door\u2014what people will say back to them. I give them suggested scripts. Again, everything is so flexible and adaptable. It\u2019s going to give them tools to keep track of who they\u2019ve talked to, and who\u2019s coming, and who continues to come back. It\u2019s going to give them tools to follow-up and make those relationships go deeper. It\u2019s going to give them a curriculum to talk about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There are recipes if they want to cook something easy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Yes! Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There are invitations\u2014pre-printed invitations that are in there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve really made it as simple as possible for someone to do this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> Thank you. There are also some free resources, at my website, as well\u2014the guest list, a snack list, a leader\u2019s guide.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Once again, we\u2019ve got a link, at FamilyLifeToday.com, for anybody who wants to get to your website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Amy, I want to say, \u201cThanks for joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d I love your idea. I love\u2014I think, even more importantly, that you\u2019re calling folks into action. I think today, more than maybe any other time in our nation\u2019s history, we\u2019ve got a lot of folks who are concerned about what\u2019s happening to our country. They just don\u2019t know what to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat you\u2019re giving them is a very simple step that they can take to make a difference where they live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy:<\/strong> You know, when Jesus said to pray for the workers of the harvest\u2014in the very next verse, which happens to be the next chapter\u2014so, sometimes, we miss it\u2014He said to those same people: \u201cIt\u2019s you. You\u2019re the one that I\u2019m sending. You\u2019re the one that I\u2019m sending out there.\u201d There is a time for prayer and there is a time for action.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, right now is a time to go to the web. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com so you can find out more about the kit that Amy Lively has put together to help you be more hospitable in your neighborhood, and engage with your neighbors, and share Christ with your neighbors in a way that is comfortable, and convenient, and winsome, and engaging. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and find out more about The Neighborhood Caf\u00e9 kit from Amy Lively.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there\u2019s information there about the <em>HomeBuilders<\/em> series\u2014the couples studies that we\u2019ve put together that have been used, now, for more than two decades by tens of thousands of couples.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a great way to engage people in conversation around their marriage that also points them to look deeper into the Scriptures to see what the Bible has to say about our marriages and about our families. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for all of this\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to share with you, before we wrap up today, a <em>really<\/em> nice email we received from a dad who wrote to say: \u201c\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for programs you did recently on dads dating their daughters. I happened to catch the episode where you recommended starting to date your daughter at age four or five. That got my attention because I have a four \/ \u2018I-am-going-to-be-five years-old\u2019 daughter; but the idea of taking her on a date had never crossed my mind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe has three brothers, including a twin. They are all very close in age. It\u2019s a rough and tumble crowd. On Saturday, following your program, I went ahead and invited her out on her very first special daddy\/daughter date. For nearly three-and-a-half hours, over cheeseburgers, fries, and ice cream cones, she talked non-stop. All I had to do was sit there, and look directly in those big, blue eyes, and smile and nod occasionally, brush back the stray curl that always seems to escape from her unruly mop.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe says: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur date was the first time I had deliberately treated my daughter like a little lady. When we got back home, she launched from the cab of my truck, wrapped her little arms tightly around my neck. As she clung to me, unwilling to let go, she whispered in my ear, \u201cThank you, Daddy, for making me feel so special and for being with just <em>me<\/em>, without the boys.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis dad says: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI held her for a long time, tears streaming down my face, telling her over and over again just how special she is to me and how much I love her. It was one of the best moments of my life so far\u2014at least until our next date. So, thanks for reminding me of what a precious gift from God my daughter is and encouraging me to cherish and love her as He does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, he signed his note\u2014he said, \u201cA no longer totally clueless dad\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we love hearing from listeners about how God is using <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> to strengthen your family, to strengthen your marriage relationship, and to point you back to the Source for life, and for hope, and for godliness\u2014that is Jesus Christ. We appreciate those of you who get in touch with us. We also appreciate those of you who make this radio program possible\u2014those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with your donations. We are listener-supported. Those donations help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program. So, in a very real sense, you are partners with us in this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, the audio book, <em>Thanksgiving<\/em>: <em>A Time to Remember<\/em>. We took Barbara Rainey\u2019s book\u2014that tells the story of Thanksgiving\u2014we had it read dramatically with some dramatic enhancements, as well. The audio book is our thank-you gift to you when you help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can do that, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make an online donation; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone. Just ask for the Thanksgiving audio book when you do that. Or request the Thanksgiving audio book when you write a check and mail it to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us. I hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family can worship together in church this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn Monday, join us back because we\u2019re going to talk about something that many women have told us is an issue for them\u2014that\u2019s the issue of wanting to be in control. We\u2019ll talk about whether that is an issue for women and, if so, what do you do about it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll have a couple of guests who are going to be joining us for that discussion. I hope you can tune in, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. 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