{"id":302855,"date":"2013-10-29T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-10-29T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/untie-your-story\/"},"modified":"2013-10-29T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-10-29T15:00:00","slug":"untie-your-story","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/untie-your-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Untie Your Story"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Barbara Rainey encourages families to ask questions designed to help guests think thoughtfully about all their blessings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-10-29.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.68M","filesize_raw":"25875117","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2823],"tags":[2639],"podcast_series":[7979],"cwp_profile":[3052],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302855","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-thanksgiving","tag-sharing-your-faith","podcast_series-marking-memorable-moments","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302855\/untie-your-story","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302855\/untie-your-story","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"wkUCi37JyH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/untie-your-story\/\">Untie Your Story<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/untie-your-story\/embed\/#?secret=wkUCi37JyH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Untie Your Story&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"wkUCi37JyH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-10-29.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-10-29.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you hate small talk as much as I do? Barbara Rainey has come up with some questions that you can ask one another, this year at the Thanksgiving table\u2014that may raise the level of the conversation around the dinner table.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> All of us have a story\u2014a life story. Yet, to sit down and say, \u201cTell me your life story,\u201d well, that\u2019s overwhelming. We\u2019re not going to do that with people, but these questions invite those, who are seated around your table, to share a piece of their story. You get to know one another. I think that\u2019s what we all long for in this crazy, fast-paced culture. We want to have deep, meaningful relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> forTuesday, October 29<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to talk today about how to stamp out small talk and have some deeper conversations this year during the holidays. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019ve had conversations with our kids over the years. They\u2019re a little anxious sometimes about having friends come over and have a meal at our house. Part of the reason why is because our dinner table conversation\u2014[Laughter] it can get\u2014when the whole family is together\u2014dinner table conversation can get kind of fast and furious. It\u2019s almost\u2014I don\u2019t know what it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Does it get weighty?\u2014because you like a little intellectual stimulation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sometimes, it gets weighty. Let me just tell this story; okay? When our daughter, Amy\u2014she had met a young man, while they were both working overseas. It turns out, a year later\u2014he\u2019s at our house for dinner. There is some interest on Amy\u2019s part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are having our first meal together, around the table. I turned to him; and I said, \u201cSo Jack, share with us just, maybe, what has been a spiritual highlight in your life\u2014just something you\u2019d look back on and say, \u2018This has been\u2026.\u2018\u201d Well, the kids were all going to put their heads on the table and just roll their eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Did they groan?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, even today, this is kind of a family joke. Whenever we\u2019re at a meal, they\u2019ll say, \u201cSo, Dad, do you want to ask anybody about a spiritual highlight in their life?\u201d They will just not let me go, [Laughter] but I was trying, in this moment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. Of course, you were trying to make conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I was trying to make the conversation about something more important than just, \u201cWhat kind of car do you drive?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. I get it. I\u2019ve asked some of those questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And do your kids roll their eyes, too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Do you want to tell your story about the question that you ask that gets the eye-roll now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Maybe, you need to refresh my memory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, it was when our daughter was dating someone. We met him and went out to lunch or something. You said,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSo,\u201d\u2014whatever his name was\u2014\u201ctell me\u2014what\u2019s your worldview?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cTell me about your worldview.\u201d Our daughter just went, \u201cO-h-h-h gosh!\u201d She just died. She acted like she\u2019d been stabbed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, your question is a much safer question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Spiritual highlight\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Worldview\u2014I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Oh, our kids would have rolled their eyes at spiritual highlight, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They would have rolled their eyes at that, too; but mine was much tougher because any of these young men didn\u2019t know what a worldview was. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Maybe, they didn\u2019t have one yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, \u201cAre you talking about where I\u2019m looking at the world from right now?\u201d \u201cWhat are you speaking of?\u201d I was just trying to get to know, \u201cWhere are you coming at life from?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just want to publicly thank you, Barbara, for creating something that may bail me out from my dinner table conversation because we\u2019ve been talking this week about some of the resources you have been developing for families\u2014here at FamilyLife. One of them is a resource that\u2019s called Untie Your Story; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Explain to listeners exactly what this is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Untie Your Story is a spool of ribbon\u2014which people will go, \u201cSo, tell me about that.\u201d Dennis has it in his hand. You can hear the paper crinkling. It\u2019s a large spool, and it is wrapped with ribbon; but it\u2019s a muslin ribbon. On that ribbon are printed 12 questions. It will help a parent like you, Bob, who wants to be intentional at your dinner conversation without you having to be the bad guy and ask the questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe idea is\u2014these are designed for Thanksgiving Day, or Thanksgiving week, or whenever you might want to use them\u2014but you open the package, unroll the ribbon off of the spool, and cut as many questions as you need. If you have only four people at your table, you cut four lengths of ribbon\u2014tie it around your napkin\u2014one at each place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, as you begin to have your meal together, you, as the hostess or the host, would say: \u201cI would like for all of us to read the question on your ribbon. Let\u2019s talk about what the questions are.\u201d They are basically questions that are all focused on gratitude, but they are personal. Most of them are pretty easy to answer; but it\u2019s like: \u201cTell a story of one time when you were grateful and why,\u201d \u201cName five things, that you can see from where you\u2019re sitting right now, that you\u2019re grateful for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re the kinds of things that a five-year-old can answer, or a ten-year-old can answer, or Grandma Peterson, who\u2019s 85. She could answer the question, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a lot better than a spiritual highlight question. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Or a worldview. You\u2019re not going to nail me on this\u2014I\u2019ve got you on the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And here\u2019s the thing\u2014you can use these questions to start your meal, while the meal\u2019s being prepared, or you could use it at the end of the meal, as kind of a preparation for dessert. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe idea is\u2014it really gives a group of family members a chance to kind of know what people are thinking around, really, one of the great holidays that Americans have the privilege of celebrating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was at your house for a dinner, where you decided you\u2019d test this out. At the end of dinner, we all got to pull our napkin holder out and read our question. No matter what the question was, I think everybody felt comfortable answering it. It made for some meaningful conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes. It\u2019s not just meaningful conversation\u2014which is why I like the title\u2014because it really is a way for us to get to know something about somebody else\u2019s story. All of us have a story\u2014a life story. Yet, to sit down and say, \u201cTell me your life story\u201d\u2014well, that\u2019s overwhelming. We\u2019re not going to do that with people; but these questions invite, those who are seated around your table\u2014and again, it doesn\u2019t have to be Thanksgiving because we did this in June\u2014the dinner you\u2019re referring to. It invites people to share a piece of their story, and so you get to know one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s what we all long for in this crazy, fast-paced culture. We want to have deep meaningful relationships. The easiest time to think about that is during holidays, or a birthday dinner, or some kind of memorable event. We want so much to connect. We want so much for it to be meaningful\u2014for it to be memorable\u2014but we don\u2019t know how to get there unless you try to ask a question about your spiritual highlight\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014or your worldview.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> --which blows up in your face! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m curious about that, as well, because I\u2019m imagining\u2014if we were doing this with a room full of young children and teenagers\u2014I can still imagine some eye-rolling at the question\u2014just the fact that, \u201cYou\u2019re making me answer a question.\u201d Kids don\u2019t like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Sure, you\u2019re going to get that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You just persevere through that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; because, you know, as a parent, that this is going to be valuable. You know, as a parent, that, in the end, they are going to be glad they did it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey won\u2019t say, \u201cThank you.\u201d They\u2019ll never say, \u201cI\u2019m glad we did this;\u201d but they will be glad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They may razz you about it for years to come.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Exactly, but they\u2019ll be glad they did it because you made an effort to do something meaningful. Kids recognize that. They won\u2019t be able to articulate it, but they\u2019ll recognize that you made an effort for everyone to connect at a deeper level. I think it\u2019s just intuitive that they\u2019re going to appreciate that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think there are a lot of listeners, right now, that are going: \u201cYes, you guys are talking about getting together with teenagers or younger kids and doing this; but for our Thanksgiving, we have extended family members who come. We don\u2019t talk about anything of any depth\u2014of any kind of transparency\u2014at our table.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That really leads me to a story about a friend of mine who began to describe, really, a civil war that was occurring in his family between him and his dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis dad was\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014in his late 70s \/ maybe, early 80s. It had been going on for years. All the holidays represented, for him, was another chapter in the civil war. It was not going to be pleasant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe shared with me that his father and mom were coming over to this guy\u2019s house for Father\u2019s Day. He was expecting this war to continue. I said: \u201cI have an idea for you. Barbara has created these questions, called Untie Your Story\u2014that you can use for Father\u2019s Day. Why don\u2019t you go around the table and answer these questions? Then, at the end of that, talk about what you really like best about your dad. Have everybody, after they\u2019ve gone through these questions one time around, to then go around the table a second time, and just talk about him, and what they appreciate about him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI left the idea with him. I had no idea whether it had actually been executed or not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI called him up. He said: \u201cWe just had the best Father\u2019s Day dinner we\u2019ve ever had with my dad. He <em>loved<\/em> the questions that Barbara had in Untie Your Story. He <em>really<\/em> loved it when everybody went around the table and said what they appreciated about him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilies are families. We irritate each other all the way from the start to the finish. Here\u2019s a way you can take some of the edge off of a Thanksgiving holiday celebration and really allow your family to come together in a meaningful way\u2014in a transparent way\u2014talking about what you are most grateful for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the awkward things at holiday meals is often having family members come in\u2014be a part of the meal\u2014who don\u2019t share your values.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They are coming from a different place, spiritually. So, you don\u2019t want to talk about things that are too meaningful because pretty soon there will be a war breaking out because you don\u2019t believe the same things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese questions in Untie Your Story allow a family to focus on things that aren\u2019t going to create disagreement but are still going to take you beneath the surface; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes, I agree. I think that gratitude is a pretty safe topic because everybody knows that we have a lot to be grateful for. It\u2019s a pretty inviting\u2014it\u2019s a pretty safe topic to talk about gratitude and what we\u2019re thankful for. I think that\u2019s why it works. I think that\u2019s why it works beyond Thanksgiving, too, because gratitude isn\u2019t just for November and Thanksgiving. It\u2019s something that we should practice every day, throughout the year. It\u2019s good for us to focus on what we have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How did you decide what 12 questions because I know you came up with more than 12 questions?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We actually had 25. [Laughter] We couldn\u2019t afford to print that much ribbon and put it on the spool. So, we cut it to 12. We\u2019re hoping that we\u2019ll have Volume Two next year because we have more\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But how did you pick the ones\u2014I mean, what makes a good question?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> The kinds of questions that we asked are ones that people have to think about a little bit. So, it\u2019s not an easy-answer question. It requires a little bit of thinking\u2014like the question that I mentioned earlier, \u201cName five things, that you can see from where you\u2019re sitting, that you\u2019re thankful for.\u201d Well, that takes a little bit of thought. So, when you have to process it a little, I think you get to know somebody a little bit more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat one person picks\u2014that they can see from where they\u2019re sitting\u2014will be completely different. If you use that one question, all the way around the table, you\u2019d get that many different answers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If somebody wants the easy way out and says: \u201cI just see my five family members. I\u2019m thankful for all of you,\u201d and they\u2019re done. Do you force a little more out of them, or do you just let it be?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I think it depends on who it is! [Laughter] I think it depends on who it is. Probably, you just let it be. Everybody sees, and everybody knows. You go on to the next person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But some of these questions are designed to probe into stories to\u2014as you\u2014it\u2019s called Untie Your Story<em>\u2014<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyou\u2019re asking people to share occasions when they felt particularly grateful or share aspects of their lives that\u2014you could be brothers, or sisters, or husbands and wives\u2014and go, \u201cI\u2019ve never known that about you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And not know\u2014exactly. One of the questions reads something like this\u2014and I don\u2019t have it right in front of me\u2014but it reads something like: \u201cName something that you pray for that you didn\u2019t get an answer for\u2014for a long time. Now, years later, you know why God said, \u2018No.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s not an easy question to answer. There are different complexities in some of the questions; but they\u2019re intended to be revealing about your life, and what\u2019s important in your heart, and who you are as a person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s something about Thanksgiving, that is unique to that holiday\u2014that we can move on by\u2014is Thanksgiving really forces us, if we\u2019ll use it constructively, to express appreciation to people, and admiration, and encouragement to them for being a part of our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know there was one Thanksgiving that Barbara and I went through together where, by the time we came to Thanksgiving, she was in need of saying something to our family that was very unique.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, that particular Thanksgiving was the culmination, for me, of some soul-searching, and some heart-searching, and some work that God had done in my life. As a parent, one of the things that I struggled with a lot, especially when our kids were junior-high and early high school years, was I really struggled with being angry over things that they didn\u2019t\u2014particularly, over when they didn\u2019t obey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had realized that\u2014not only was it not good for the kids\u2014and I knew all along, it wasn\u2019t good for the kids\u2014to get angry. I didn\u2019t like it, and I didn\u2019t want to\u2014that was a given\u2014\u2014but I also realized, I think at a level that I hadn\u2019t before, that it was really hurtful to the heart of God, and that God really wasn\u2019t pleased, and that He was able to give me victory over that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere just didn\u2019t seem to be an appropriate, \u201cOh, by the way, let me talk to you about what God is teaching me,\u201d kind of a moment in the normal course of family life. So, I decided that on that Thanksgiving, before we did dinner together\u2014and this is just our immediate nuclear family\u2014that I wanted to sit them down and talk to them about what God had been teaching me\u2014that my heart was repentant, that my heart was broken, and that I was truly sorry for the ways that I had failed them, as a parent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had written out what I wanted to say because I was afraid I wouldn\u2019t say everything I wanted to say without writing it out. I read them what I had written. I don\u2019t think they really got it. I don\u2019t think\u2014especially the younger ones\u2014I think they couldn\u2019t figure out what was going on, actually. But it didn\u2019t really matter. I just wanted them to hear their mom say that: \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d and, \u201cMy desire is to please God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy desire is not to hurt you or offend you.\u201d I wanted them to hear some of what I had learned. It was an intentional thing to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s why I\u2019m creating a lot of the things that I\u2019m creating for families because I think it\u2019s so easy to blow by those moments\u2014when you need to be real with your kids, and when you need to tell them what you\u2019re learning, or what\u2019s on your heart, or when you need to genuinely repent, or when you need to really celebrate that your child has made a great decision, or when your parents come over, or your extended family\u2014and you really want to make a meaningful memory together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUntie Your Story is a great way to intentionally help people be real. I think that\u2019s a part of the reason why I want to help families do that, and do it better, and do it easier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Emotion in voice] I hate to disagree with my wife, but I think our kids got it. It was a powerful, emotional moment. You were down on your knees, asking them to forgive you. I was really proud of Barbara for taking a besetting sin\u2014something that she\u2019d been struggling with for many of the years as we raised our kids\u2014and to look at those she had sinned against and really attempt to square things away. It was a milestone. It really was a milestone in our family because things did change after that. It\u2019s not that she became perfectly patient\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> --and never had another problem with anger; but it\u2019s interesting how God used the Thanksgiving holiday to strip away the veneer\u2014to get to the issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It reminds me of the verse in James, Chapter 5\u2014I think it\u2019s 16\u2014where he encourages us to confess your sins to one another that you may be healed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really do agree with you\u2014that I think that is a part of what took place. I think there was a measure of healing. As you say, it wasn\u2019t perfect after that. It\u2019s not like I never got angry again because I did; but it was much less, and there really was a difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s something that families need to do more\u2014we need to have those intentional moments\u2014whether it\u2019s to celebrate, or whether it\u2019s to repent. Whatever it is\u2014it\u2019s what we long for in our families\u2014is to connect on a meaningful level. We have to be intentional for that to happen. It won\u2019t happen naturally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No. You have to ask a question like Bob asked his family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Even if they roll their eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Even if they roll their eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> None of your dozen questions on Untie Your Story are: \u201cDo you have any sin you need to confess to the rest of the family?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> No. No, no, no, no, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, none of it is necessarily going to be used to take you in that direction; but I think it\u2019s interesting how this holiday of giving thanks\u2014because it is said that praise is the language of heaven\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat is what the angels are doing, right now, in heaven. They are praising God. They\u2019re giving thanks to Him. It\u2019s one of the most difficult things, I think, we have to do is to express a heart of gratitude on an ongoing basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPersonally, for a family, I don\u2019t think there\u2019s a better day on the calendar to be able to grab hold of this thing called gratefulness and lay aside the bickering, and complaining, and griping, and to appreciate one another, and to express your gratitude to God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I can imagine a frugal mom, who would say: \u201cWell, just send me the list of 12 questions. I\u2019ll cut them into pieces of paper and put them on the plate. We\u2019ll handle it that way.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, you can do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why did you do it this way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Because I think this is a way to kind of bump up the feel\u2014there\u2019s a little bit of elegance there. It\u2019s just muslin, and it\u2019s frayed. They can be washed and reused. You can hand wash them, and iron them, and reuse them over and over again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think we\u2019ve gotten so casual. There\u2019s something about something that\u2019s tangible\u2014that feels good. You wrap it around a napkin\u2014even if it\u2019s a paper napkin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just elevates the feel. It just adds a little touch of class\u2014a little touch of elegance to a holiday. It\u2019s designed for a holiday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Again, if folks are interested in seeing what you put together\u2014not just this resource\u2014but all of the resources you\u2019ve been working on for the Thanksgiving holiday, they can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link there for Ever Thine Home<em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em><em>.<\/em> There is information there about the Gathered Roundmetal wreath, about the Untie Your Story, about something we\u2019re going to talk about, later this week, that you call Written and Remembered.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, find out more at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is something you really need to see to better understand. FamilyLifeToday.com is our website. Click the link for Ever Thine Home resources;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tor call1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tQuickly, let me say a word of thanks to those folks who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. I was just out, recently, with some <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners who were telling me all about how God has been using this program in their marriage and in their family, and how it\u2019s making a difference in keeping them focused on eternal issues rather than the swirl of the culture that\u2019s all around us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who help make this possible. You are partners with us as you support this ministry, financially. We appreciate that partnership. We thought that this week we could say, \u201cThank you for your partnership,\u201d by sending you a copy of the audio book that Barbara has put together: <em>Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur team took the Thanksgiving story that Barbara included in her book and had it dramatized. In fact, I want to play another clip for you this week from the audio book just so you can hear what it sounds like as you and the family would listen to this together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Announcer:<\/strong> On November the ninth, [Children\u2019s excited voices] several children squealed with delight when they saw a seagull dive above the ship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Child 1:<\/strong> Hey, look at that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Child 2:<\/strong> A seagull!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Announcer:<\/strong> Not long afterward, a sailor cried, \u201cLand ho!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sailor:<\/strong> Land ho!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Announcer:<\/strong> After 65 days at sea from Plymouth, a total of 97 days from the first launch at Southampton, the pilgrims caught a glimpse of their destination\u2014the new land where God could be worshipped freely; and in time, where freedom would flourish. Shouting for joy and falling to their knees to pray, they celebrated by reading Psalm 100:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness. Come before Him with joyful singing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKnow that the Lord himself is God. It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves. We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name, for the Lord is good. His loving-kindness is everlasting, and His faithfulness to all generations<em>.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, that is a clip from the audio book, <em>Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember<\/em>. We\u2019d like to send it to you as a way of saying, \u201cThank you for your support of the ministry,\u201d this week. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and leave an online donation. We\u2019ll send you the audio book, or request the audio book when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also request the audio book when you mail a donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur mailing address is P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. And thanks, in advance, for whatever you are able to do. Again, we appreciate your partnership with us, here in this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back again tomorrow. Barbara Rainey will be here with us again. We\u2019re going to talk about how you can cultivate a spirit of gratitude in some very tangible ways in your family. That\u2019s coming up tomorrow. Hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.68M"],"filesize_raw":["25875117"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302855.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302855.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Rainey encourages families to ask questions designed to help guests think thoughtfully about all their blessings.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-10-29.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you hate small talk as much as I do? Barbara Rainey has come up with some questions that you can ask one another, this year at the Thanksgiving table\u2014that may raise the level of the conversation around the dinner table.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> All of us have a story\u2014a life story. Yet, to sit down and say, \u201cTell me your life story,\u201d well, that\u2019s overwhelming. We\u2019re not going to do that with people, but these questions invite those, who are seated around your table, to share a piece of their story. You get to know one another. I think that\u2019s what we all long for in this crazy, fast-paced culture. We want to have deep, meaningful relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> forTuesday, October 29<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to talk today about how to stamp out small talk and have some deeper conversations this year during the holidays. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019ve had conversations with our kids over the years. They\u2019re a little anxious sometimes about having friends come over and have a meal at our house. Part of the reason why is because our dinner table conversation\u2014[Laughter] it can get\u2014when the whole family is together\u2014dinner table conversation can get kind of fast and furious. It\u2019s almost\u2014I don\u2019t know what it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Does it get weighty?\u2014because you like a little intellectual stimulation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sometimes, it gets weighty. Let me just tell this story; okay? When our daughter, Amy\u2014she had met a young man, while they were both working overseas. It turns out, a year later\u2014he\u2019s at our house for dinner. There is some interest on Amy\u2019s part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are having our first meal together, around the table. I turned to him; and I said, \u201cSo Jack, share with us just, maybe, what has been a spiritual highlight in your life\u2014just something you\u2019d look back on and say, \u2018This has been\u2026.\u2018\u201d Well, the kids were all going to put their heads on the table and just roll their eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Did they groan?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, even today, this is kind of a family joke. Whenever we\u2019re at a meal, they\u2019ll say, \u201cSo, Dad, do you want to ask anybody about a spiritual highlight in their life?\u201d They will just not let me go, [Laughter] but I was trying, in this moment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. Of course, you were trying to make conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I was trying to make the conversation about something more important than just, \u201cWhat kind of car do you drive?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. I get it. I\u2019ve asked some of those questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And do your kids roll their eyes, too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Do you want to tell your story about the question that you ask that gets the eye-roll now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Maybe, you need to refresh my memory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, it was when our daughter was dating someone. We met him and went out to lunch or something. You said,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSo,\u201d\u2014whatever his name was\u2014\u201ctell me\u2014what\u2019s your worldview?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cTell me about your worldview.\u201d Our daughter just went, \u201cO-h-h-h gosh!\u201d She just died. She acted like she\u2019d been stabbed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, your question is a much safer question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Spiritual highlight\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Worldview\u2014I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Oh, our kids would have rolled their eyes at spiritual highlight, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They would have rolled their eyes at that, too; but mine was much tougher because any of these young men didn\u2019t know what a worldview was. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Maybe, they didn\u2019t have one yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, \u201cAre you talking about where I\u2019m looking at the world from right now?\u201d \u201cWhat are you speaking of?\u201d I was just trying to get to know, \u201cWhere are you coming at life from?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just want to publicly thank you, Barbara, for creating something that may bail me out from my dinner table conversation because we\u2019ve been talking this week about some of the resources you have been developing for families\u2014here at FamilyLife. One of them is a resource that\u2019s called Untie Your Story; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Explain to listeners exactly what this is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Untie Your Story is a spool of ribbon\u2014which people will go, \u201cSo, tell me about that.\u201d Dennis has it in his hand. You can hear the paper crinkling. It\u2019s a large spool, and it is wrapped with ribbon; but it\u2019s a muslin ribbon. On that ribbon are printed 12 questions. It will help a parent like you, Bob, who wants to be intentional at your dinner conversation without you having to be the bad guy and ask the questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe idea is\u2014these are designed for Thanksgiving Day, or Thanksgiving week, or whenever you might want to use them\u2014but you open the package, unroll the ribbon off of the spool, and cut as many questions as you need. If you have only four people at your table, you cut four lengths of ribbon\u2014tie it around your napkin\u2014one at each place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, as you begin to have your meal together, you, as the hostess or the host, would say: \u201cI would like for all of us to read the question on your ribbon. Let\u2019s talk about what the questions are.\u201d They are basically questions that are all focused on gratitude, but they are personal. Most of them are pretty easy to answer; but it\u2019s like: \u201cTell a story of one time when you were grateful and why,\u201d \u201cName five things, that you can see from where you\u2019re sitting right now, that you\u2019re grateful for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re the kinds of things that a five-year-old can answer, or a ten-year-old can answer, or Grandma Peterson, who\u2019s 85. She could answer the question, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a lot better than a spiritual highlight question. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Or a worldview. You\u2019re not going to nail me on this\u2014I\u2019ve got you on the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And here\u2019s the thing\u2014you can use these questions to start your meal, while the meal\u2019s being prepared, or you could use it at the end of the meal, as kind of a preparation for dessert. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe idea is\u2014it really gives a group of family members a chance to kind of know what people are thinking around, really, one of the great holidays that Americans have the privilege of celebrating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was at your house for a dinner, where you decided you\u2019d test this out. At the end of dinner, we all got to pull our napkin holder out and read our question. No matter what the question was, I think everybody felt comfortable answering it. It made for some meaningful conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes. It\u2019s not just meaningful conversation\u2014which is why I like the title\u2014because it really is a way for us to get to know something about somebody else\u2019s story. All of us have a story\u2014a life story. Yet, to sit down and say, \u201cTell me your life story\u201d\u2014well, that\u2019s overwhelming. We\u2019re not going to do that with people; but these questions invite, those who are seated around your table\u2014and again, it doesn\u2019t have to be Thanksgiving because we did this in June\u2014the dinner you\u2019re referring to. It invites people to share a piece of their story, and so you get to know one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s what we all long for in this crazy, fast-paced culture. We want to have deep meaningful relationships. The easiest time to think about that is during holidays, or a birthday dinner, or some kind of memorable event. We want so much to connect. We want so much for it to be meaningful\u2014for it to be memorable\u2014but we don\u2019t know how to get there unless you try to ask a question about your spiritual highlight\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014or your worldview.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> --which blows up in your face! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m curious about that, as well, because I\u2019m imagining\u2014if we were doing this with a room full of young children and teenagers\u2014I can still imagine some eye-rolling at the question\u2014just the fact that, \u201cYou\u2019re making me answer a question.\u201d Kids don\u2019t like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Sure, you\u2019re going to get that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You just persevere through that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; because, you know, as a parent, that this is going to be valuable. You know, as a parent, that, in the end, they are going to be glad they did it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey won\u2019t say, \u201cThank you.\u201d They\u2019ll never say, \u201cI\u2019m glad we did this;\u201d but they will be glad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They may razz you about it for years to come.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Exactly, but they\u2019ll be glad they did it because you made an effort to do something meaningful. Kids recognize that. They won\u2019t be able to articulate it, but they\u2019ll recognize that you made an effort for everyone to connect at a deeper level. I think it\u2019s just intuitive that they\u2019re going to appreciate that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think there are a lot of listeners, right now, that are going: \u201cYes, you guys are talking about getting together with teenagers or younger kids and doing this; but for our Thanksgiving, we have extended family members who come. We don\u2019t talk about anything of any depth\u2014of any kind of transparency\u2014at our table.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That really leads me to a story about a friend of mine who began to describe, really, a civil war that was occurring in his family between him and his dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis dad was\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014in his late 70s \/ maybe, early 80s. It had been going on for years. All the holidays represented, for him, was another chapter in the civil war. It was not going to be pleasant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe shared with me that his father and mom were coming over to this guy\u2019s house for Father\u2019s Day. He was expecting this war to continue. I said: \u201cI have an idea for you. Barbara has created these questions, called Untie Your Story\u2014that you can use for Father\u2019s Day. Why don\u2019t you go around the table and answer these questions? Then, at the end of that, talk about what you really like best about your dad. Have everybody, after they\u2019ve gone through these questions one time around, to then go around the table a second time, and just talk about him, and what they appreciate about him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI left the idea with him. I had no idea whether it had actually been executed or not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI called him up. He said: \u201cWe just had the best Father\u2019s Day dinner we\u2019ve ever had with my dad. He <em>loved<\/em> the questions that Barbara had in Untie Your Story. He <em>really<\/em> loved it when everybody went around the table and said what they appreciated about him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilies are families. We irritate each other all the way from the start to the finish. Here\u2019s a way you can take some of the edge off of a Thanksgiving holiday celebration and really allow your family to come together in a meaningful way\u2014in a transparent way\u2014talking about what you are most grateful for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the awkward things at holiday meals is often having family members come in\u2014be a part of the meal\u2014who don\u2019t share your values.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They are coming from a different place, spiritually. So, you don\u2019t want to talk about things that are too meaningful because pretty soon there will be a war breaking out because you don\u2019t believe the same things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese questions in Untie Your Story allow a family to focus on things that aren\u2019t going to create disagreement but are still going to take you beneath the surface; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes, I agree. I think that gratitude is a pretty safe topic because everybody knows that we have a lot to be grateful for. It\u2019s a pretty inviting\u2014it\u2019s a pretty safe topic to talk about gratitude and what we\u2019re thankful for. I think that\u2019s why it works. I think that\u2019s why it works beyond Thanksgiving, too, because gratitude isn\u2019t just for November and Thanksgiving. It\u2019s something that we should practice every day, throughout the year. It\u2019s good for us to focus on what we have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How did you decide what 12 questions because I know you came up with more than 12 questions?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We actually had 25. [Laughter] We couldn\u2019t afford to print that much ribbon and put it on the spool. So, we cut it to 12. We\u2019re hoping that we\u2019ll have Volume Two next year because we have more\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But how did you pick the ones\u2014I mean, what makes a good question?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> The kinds of questions that we asked are ones that people have to think about a little bit. So, it\u2019s not an easy-answer question. It requires a little bit of thinking\u2014like the question that I mentioned earlier, \u201cName five things, that you can see from where you\u2019re sitting, that you\u2019re thankful for.\u201d Well, that takes a little bit of thought. So, when you have to process it a little, I think you get to know somebody a little bit more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat one person picks\u2014that they can see from where they\u2019re sitting\u2014will be completely different. If you use that one question, all the way around the table, you\u2019d get that many different answers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If somebody wants the easy way out and says: \u201cI just see my five family members. I\u2019m thankful for all of you,\u201d and they\u2019re done. Do you force a little more out of them, or do you just let it be?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I think it depends on who it is! [Laughter] I think it depends on who it is. Probably, you just let it be. Everybody sees, and everybody knows. You go on to the next person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But some of these questions are designed to probe into stories to\u2014as you\u2014it\u2019s called Untie Your Story<em>\u2014<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyou\u2019re asking people to share occasions when they felt particularly grateful or share aspects of their lives that\u2014you could be brothers, or sisters, or husbands and wives\u2014and go, \u201cI\u2019ve never known that about you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And not know\u2014exactly. One of the questions reads something like this\u2014and I don\u2019t have it right in front of me\u2014but it reads something like: \u201cName something that you pray for that you didn\u2019t get an answer for\u2014for a long time. Now, years later, you know why God said, \u2018No.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s not an easy question to answer. There are different complexities in some of the questions; but they\u2019re intended to be revealing about your life, and what\u2019s important in your heart, and who you are as a person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s something about Thanksgiving, that is unique to that holiday\u2014that we can move on by\u2014is Thanksgiving really forces us, if we\u2019ll use it constructively, to express appreciation to people, and admiration, and encouragement to them for being a part of our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know there was one Thanksgiving that Barbara and I went through together where, by the time we came to Thanksgiving, she was in need of saying something to our family that was very unique.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, that particular Thanksgiving was the culmination, for me, of some soul-searching, and some heart-searching, and some work that God had done in my life. As a parent, one of the things that I struggled with a lot, especially when our kids were junior-high and early high school years, was I really struggled with being angry over things that they didn\u2019t\u2014particularly, over when they didn\u2019t obey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had realized that\u2014not only was it not good for the kids\u2014and I knew all along, it wasn\u2019t good for the kids\u2014to get angry. I didn\u2019t like it, and I didn\u2019t want to\u2014that was a given\u2014\u2014but I also realized, I think at a level that I hadn\u2019t before, that it was really hurtful to the heart of God, and that God really wasn\u2019t pleased, and that He was able to give me victory over that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere just didn\u2019t seem to be an appropriate, \u201cOh, by the way, let me talk to you about what God is teaching me,\u201d kind of a moment in the normal course of family life. So, I decided that on that Thanksgiving, before we did dinner together\u2014and this is just our immediate nuclear family\u2014that I wanted to sit them down and talk to them about what God had been teaching me\u2014that my heart was repentant, that my heart was broken, and that I was truly sorry for the ways that I had failed them, as a parent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had written out what I wanted to say because I was afraid I wouldn\u2019t say everything I wanted to say without writing it out. I read them what I had written. I don\u2019t think they really got it. I don\u2019t think\u2014especially the younger ones\u2014I think they couldn\u2019t figure out what was going on, actually. But it didn\u2019t really matter. I just wanted them to hear their mom say that: \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d and, \u201cMy desire is to please God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy desire is not to hurt you or offend you.\u201d I wanted them to hear some of what I had learned. It was an intentional thing to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s why I\u2019m creating a lot of the things that I\u2019m creating for families because I think it\u2019s so easy to blow by those moments\u2014when you need to be real with your kids, and when you need to tell them what you\u2019re learning, or what\u2019s on your heart, or when you need to genuinely repent, or when you need to really celebrate that your child has made a great decision, or when your parents come over, or your extended family\u2014and you really want to make a meaningful memory together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUntie Your Story is a great way to intentionally help people be real. I think that\u2019s a part of the reason why I want to help families do that, and do it better, and do it easier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Emotion in voice] I hate to disagree with my wife, but I think our kids got it. It was a powerful, emotional moment. You were down on your knees, asking them to forgive you. I was really proud of Barbara for taking a besetting sin\u2014something that she\u2019d been struggling with for many of the years as we raised our kids\u2014and to look at those she had sinned against and really attempt to square things away. It was a milestone. It really was a milestone in our family because things did change after that. It\u2019s not that she became perfectly patient\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> --and never had another problem with anger; but it\u2019s interesting how God used the Thanksgiving holiday to strip away the veneer\u2014to get to the issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It reminds me of the verse in James, Chapter 5\u2014I think it\u2019s 16\u2014where he encourages us to confess your sins to one another that you may be healed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really do agree with you\u2014that I think that is a part of what took place. I think there was a measure of healing. As you say, it wasn\u2019t perfect after that. It\u2019s not like I never got angry again because I did; but it was much less, and there really was a difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s something that families need to do more\u2014we need to have those intentional moments\u2014whether it\u2019s to celebrate, or whether it\u2019s to repent. Whatever it is\u2014it\u2019s what we long for in our families\u2014is to connect on a meaningful level. We have to be intentional for that to happen. It won\u2019t happen naturally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No. You have to ask a question like Bob asked his family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Even if they roll their eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Even if they roll their eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> None of your dozen questions on Untie Your Story are: \u201cDo you have any sin you need to confess to the rest of the family?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> No. No, no, no, no, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, none of it is necessarily going to be used to take you in that direction; but I think it\u2019s interesting how this holiday of giving thanks\u2014because it is said that praise is the language of heaven\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat is what the angels are doing, right now, in heaven. They are praising God. They\u2019re giving thanks to Him. It\u2019s one of the most difficult things, I think, we have to do is to express a heart of gratitude on an ongoing basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPersonally, for a family, I don\u2019t think there\u2019s a better day on the calendar to be able to grab hold of this thing called gratefulness and lay aside the bickering, and complaining, and griping, and to appreciate one another, and to express your gratitude to God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I can imagine a frugal mom, who would say: \u201cWell, just send me the list of 12 questions. I\u2019ll cut them into pieces of paper and put them on the plate. We\u2019ll handle it that way.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, you can do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why did you do it this way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Because I think this is a way to kind of bump up the feel\u2014there\u2019s a little bit of elegance there. It\u2019s just muslin, and it\u2019s frayed. They can be washed and reused. You can hand wash them, and iron them, and reuse them over and over again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think we\u2019ve gotten so casual. There\u2019s something about something that\u2019s tangible\u2014that feels good. You wrap it around a napkin\u2014even if it\u2019s a paper napkin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just elevates the feel. It just adds a little touch of class\u2014a little touch of elegance to a holiday. It\u2019s designed for a holiday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Again, if folks are interested in seeing what you put together\u2014not just this resource\u2014but all of the resources you\u2019ve been working on for the Thanksgiving holiday, they can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link there for Ever Thine Home<em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em><em>.<\/em> There is information there about the Gathered Roundmetal wreath, about the Untie Your Story, about something we\u2019re going to talk about, later this week, that you call Written and Remembered.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, find out more at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is something you really need to see to better understand. FamilyLifeToday.com is our website. Click the link for Ever Thine Home resources;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tor call1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tQuickly, let me say a word of thanks to those folks who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. I was just out, recently, with some <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners who were telling me all about how God has been using this program in their marriage and in their family, and how it\u2019s making a difference in keeping them focused on eternal issues rather than the swirl of the culture that\u2019s all around us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who help make this possible. You are partners with us as you support this ministry, financially. We appreciate that partnership. We thought that this week we could say, \u201cThank you for your partnership,\u201d by sending you a copy of the audio book that Barbara has put together: <em>Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur team took the Thanksgiving story that Barbara included in her book and had it dramatized. In fact, I want to play another clip for you this week from the audio book just so you can hear what it sounds like as you and the family would listen to this together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Announcer:<\/strong> On November the ninth, [Children\u2019s excited voices] several children squealed with delight when they saw a seagull dive above the ship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Child 1:<\/strong> Hey, look at that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Child 2:<\/strong> A seagull!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Announcer:<\/strong> Not long afterward, a sailor cried, \u201cLand ho!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sailor:<\/strong> Land ho!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Announcer:<\/strong> After 65 days at sea from Plymouth, a total of 97 days from the first launch at Southampton, the pilgrims caught a glimpse of their destination\u2014the new land where God could be worshipped freely; and in time, where freedom would flourish. Shouting for joy and falling to their knees to pray, they celebrated by reading Psalm 100:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness. Come before Him with joyful singing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKnow that the Lord himself is God. It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves. We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name, for the Lord is good. His loving-kindness is everlasting, and His faithfulness to all generations<em>.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, that is a clip from the audio book, <em>Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember<\/em>. We\u2019d like to send it to you as a way of saying, \u201cThank you for your support of the ministry,\u201d this week. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and leave an online donation. We\u2019ll send you the audio book, or request the audio book when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also request the audio book when you mail a donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur mailing address is P O Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. And thanks, in advance, for whatever you are able to do. Again, we appreciate your partnership with us, here in this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back again tomorrow. Barbara Rainey will be here with us again. We\u2019re going to talk about how you can cultivate a spirit of gratitude in some very tangible ways in your family. That\u2019s coming up tomorrow. Hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302855","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302855"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302855"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302855"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302855"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302855"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302855"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302855"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}