{"id":302820,"date":"2013-09-25T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-09-25T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/wisdom-by-solomon\/"},"modified":"2025-01-09T13:54:04","modified_gmt":"2025-01-09T18:54:04","slug":"wisdom-by-solomon","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/wisdom-by-solomon\/","title":{"rendered":"Wisdom by Solomon"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lydia Brownback opens the book of Proverbs to find day-to-day wisdom for the modern-day woman.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Lydia Brownback opens the book of Proverbs to find day-to-day wisdom for the modern-day woman.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-25.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.06M","filesize_raw":"25223590","date_recorded":"2013-09-25 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2093],"tags":[5302],"podcast_series":[7974],"cwp_profile":[3472],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302820","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-women","tag-proverbs","podcast_series-a-womans-wisdom","cwp_profile-lydia-brownback","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302820\/wisdom-by-solomon","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302820\/wisdom-by-solomon","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"WjTXdBqQSs\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/wisdom-by-solomon\/\">Wisdom by Solomon<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/wisdom-by-solomon\/embed\/#?secret=WjTXdBqQSs\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Wisdom by Solomon&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"WjTXdBqQSs\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-25.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-25.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Our emotions are a key part of how we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God; but when our emotions become central or dominant, there can be problems. Here\u2019s Lydia Brownback.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> There are a couple of proverbs that do address our emotions, but it\u2019s more observational than it is giving us a remedy for anything. For example, Proverbs 15:13 says, \u201cA glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of the heart, the spirit is crushed.\u201d So, it\u2019s just talking about the reality of what our emotions can do to us. That\u2019s why we need to look at the whole counsel of God\u2014all of Scripture\u2014to say, \u201cWhat do we do with these emotions that can crush our spirit?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, September 25<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll talk today about how we can get a handle on our emotions and benefit from them by understanding God\u2019s design. Stay tuned.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. This is going to be back in\u2014this has got to be\u2014is this your favorite book of the Bible\u2014the book of Proverbs?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good question.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you are stranded on the desert island, are you going to keep Romans or Proverbs?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Probably a survival manual. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>How to Build a Raft<\/em>\u2014you want that <em>How to Build a Raft<\/em> book? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like Proverbs.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like Psalms, though, too.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But you don\u2019t get me started\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because you\u2019re asking me to pick. I\u2019ve got to review all 66, Bob.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> You like Song of Solomon, too; but\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, Bob! [Laughter] I like Ecclesiastes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, okay.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s a good question\u2014Romans. I mean, there is no question that Proverbs would be right up there because I really think we all need what the book of Proverbs delivers\u2014which is wisdom\u2014and that\u2019s been defined by godly skill in everyday living.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and I have a question that I\u2019ve wanted to ask our guest, who is back with us, again, today\u2014Lydia Brownback joining us. Welcome back.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Great to be back with you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Lydia wrote a book called <em>A Woman\u2019s Wisdom<\/em>. She is an author; she is a speaker. The question I\u2019ve wanted to ask you is: \u201cDo you think Solomon compiled all of this wisdom, early in his life, when he was raising his kids? Do you think it is older? Where do you put this in his life?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Well, I think we read in the historical books of the Old Testament\u2014we see that Solomon was given a special gift of wisdom by God\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> \u2014right when he became king. He was a teenager, at that point.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He could ask God for anything, and he asked God for this.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes, and God was so pleased that he hadn\u2019t asked for a lot of money and great success. He\u2019d asked for wisdom to govern God\u2019s people well. And because God was so pleased with that, He gave Solomon wisdom above anyone who had ever lived, as well, as all the other blessings.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just want to stop you there for a moment because all of us have a prayer life\u2014where we going to God with requests\u2014we\u2019re going to Him with praises, petitions. We ought to pick up on what Solomon placed as a priority\u2014asking God for wisdom to know how to be a good steward of your life, of your marriage, your family\u2014whatever God has given to you\u2014and not be praying\u2014asking God for just success or material gain for whatever.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, do you think he started jotting down proverbs, right away, as God gave him wisdom\u2014he\u2019s just writing these down?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes. I think, partly\u2014because, back in those days, other cultures, in the ancient near east, collected proverbs. Every nation\u2014every culture\u2014had a collection of proverbs. Some of the ones we find in the Bible are very similar to those in other cultures, but the difference is the ones in the Bible all tie back to the Lord.<\/p>\n<p>So, yes, I think he was compiling them from the time he became king and he was given this wisdom; but I do think a lot of what he learned\u2014to, then, communicate\u2014 happened from his failures from just living life, day to day, with the Lord and finding out what wisdom is.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> He squandered his gift of wisdom. In fact, we read in the narrative that he became a fool at the end of his life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> You know what it was? We are told, very clearly, what turned his heart away. It\u2019s that he gave his heart to women who didn\u2019t know the Lord. It said, \u201cSolomon loved many foreign women;\u201d and that had nothing to do with nationality. It had everything to do with women who weren\u2019t following God. And it said, \u201cThese turned his heart away from the Lord.\u201d That was his downfall. He had more wisdom than anybody who ever lived. If it can happen to Solomon, it can happen to anybody. Falling for the wrong people\u2014giving our hearts to the wrong people\u2014can derail us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the areas that you chose to address\u2014in your book for women, where you gathered out proverbs from all 31 chapters\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s be clear, now, that this is Lydia\u2019s choice.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She\u2019s the one who made this choice\u2014not you or me, Bob.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you selected the issue of how a woman thinks, and feels, and what she wants. You felt like these are areas where a woman is vulnerable.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes; because if you think about it\u2014our thoughts, our choices, and our desires will shape the course of our lives. Therefore, applying wisdom to that area of our lives is <em>crucial<\/em> because it is going to shape what we do. So, what we think, and feel, and want is really what our heart is made up of. There is a priority to those three things\u2014thoughts, feelings, and desires. The chief of those three must be our thoughts. That needs to govern our feelings and desires.<\/p>\n<p>The mistake we can make is to allow our desires to be ahead of our thoughts\u2014to allow our whole lives to be dictated by our feelings\u2014our emotions. That\u2019s to live on a roller coaster. That\u2019s not wise. And we\u2019re not supposed to crush out our feelings or our desires. God has made us feeling people, and He has made us people who desire; but they have to be governed\u2014wisdom is to <em>govern<\/em> those by our thinking.<\/p>\n<p>You think\u2014all through the Bible, we are told what to do with our thoughts. There are direct commands about our thoughts. And you think Isaiah 26:3, \u201cYou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.\u201d Paul, in Romans 12:1 and 2, talks about being transformed by the renewing of our mind. In Romans 6, we\u2019re told that those who set their mind on the things of flesh live according to the flesh; but those who set their minds on the things of the Spirit live according to the Spirit.<\/p>\n<p>So, to be carnally-minded is death; but to have a mind set on the Spirit is life and peace. That is why, all through Scripture, we see the importance of governing our thoughts by Scripture; and then, letting those govern our emotions and our desires.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> We asked you, earlier, about your favorite proverb. You mentioned Proverbs 4:23 as one of your favorites. It\u2019s the proverb that says, \u201cGuard your heart for from it flow the issues of life\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes, \u201cGuard your heart\u201d.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014 the springs of life. That\u2019s really tied into this whole issue of a woman\u2019s thinking, her feelings, and her desires.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Very much so. That verse is applied, all the time, to romance. You know, \u201cGuard your heart about this boy and that boy\u201d; but it\u2019s really about guarding our hearts in the fear of the Lord. So, you are right. That particular Proverb\u20144:23\u2014is about this whole issue of mind, emotions, and desires.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I know, if Barbara was here, she would say, \u201cHelp me with what the Proverbs say about my emotions,\u201d because she\u2019ll hit a wall some day\u2014and for whatever reason, just kind of feels like she is under a cloud\u2014feels discouraged\u2014and it\u2019s difficult for her. I would say, for me, as a man\u2014to not feel enslaved, at points, to our emotions. I mean, I sometimes think, \u201cWhat a pigmy-like faith I have\u2014how immature I am,\u201d that I can\u2019t get above my emotions some days.<\/p>\n<p>What do the Proverbs teach about our emotions?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> You know, I think, basically, it doesn\u2019t directly speak, black and white, to our emotions. It\u2019s from studying it over all that we get the answer to that. If you think about it, our emotions are purely a response to what\u2019s going on in our lives; but what we can do is\u2014to that initial response that we can\u2019t help\u2014we can take charge of it so we don\u2019t have to be victimized by our emotions.<\/p>\n<p>Today, what makes it so hard is that we live in a society that tells us that feelings are everything\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> \u2014and psychology tells us that, and every song we hear on the radio\u2014all the romance novels\u2014everything is about how we feel\u2014how we feel; how we feel. The main thing in choosing a mate is: \u201cDo you feel in love?\u201d People end marriages, all the time, because they don\u2019t feel like they are in love anymore. Feelings have become central to everything. So, we can buy into that and feel like we are victimized by our feelings.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think there are some people who are wired as thinkers and other people who are wired as feelers. I mean, I just think, personality-wise, some people are more\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You think that, Bob?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in touch with that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you think that?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think that. I tend to be more of a thinker. I have friends who tend to be more emotive. They are more in touch with what they are feeling.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let me tell you how I feel about that. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m curious about the woman who wrote the book on <em>A Woman\u2019s Wisdom<\/em>\u2014more of a thinker than a feeler?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> You know, I would tend to say I am more of a feeler; but over time\u2014studying Proverbs\u2014I\u2019ve been trying to cultivate the other way around. I\u2019ve been trying to <em>think<\/em> before I feel\u2014or when I feel\u2014to <em>think<\/em> through why I\u2019m feeling that way.<\/p>\n<p>There are a couple of Proverbs that do address our emotions; but it\u2019s more observational than it is giving us a remedy for anything. For example, Proverbs 15:13 says, \u201cA glad heart makes a cheerful face; but by sorrow of the heart, the spirit is crushed.\u201d So, it\u2019s just talking about the reality of what our emotions can do to us. It\u2019s not providing a remedy there. That\u2019s why we need to look at the whole counsel of God\u2014all of Scripture\u2014to say, \u201cWhat do we do with these emotions that can crush our spirit?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Can you give me an example of how your emotions have steered you in the wrong direction or how you\u2019ve had to bring every thought captive to the wisdom of Christ?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes, very much so. Even, just this week, I woke up on Monday; and I felt really down. Everything sort of had a grey cast on it. It wasn\u2019t just because it was the tenth day of rain in a row, which happens a lot in Syracuse. I couldn\u2019t quite put my finger on it. So, I started to think\u2014my mind started to go: \u201cDo I need to make a change in my life? Did I make a mistake by moving here? Did I\u201d\u2014you can kind of get off on a track because I was feeling a little down.<\/p>\n<p>So, I took myself in-hand; and I thought, \u201cI have no reason to be down.\u201d I was able to think back to the previous 48 hours\u2014where a couple of conversations had left me with sort of that anxious feeling\u2014and I hadn\u2019t had a very good day the day before. So, as I thought through what was going on, I was able to say: \u201cThat\u2019s why I\u2019m feeling this way. Don\u2019t let these emotions be the determiner of what\u2019s going on in my life. Instead, take control and determine what you are going to do with those emotions.\u201d Within about five hours, my joy was restored.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And for a lot of women, that would be a great discipline to go through.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> I think it takes practice.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It does. And there is some great coaching in what you just shared. As you share in your book, there are a number of issues that the book of Proverbs deals with. One is finances. The other is self-control. There is one you haven\u2019t spoken on that I want you to just comment on, briefly. It\u2019s about, really, having a godly perspective of your sexuality, as a woman. It doesn\u2019t call the Proverbs, Chapter 5 and Chapter 7, woman a fool; but she was a woman of the streets. She was using her sexuality for wrong reasons\u2014for evil reasons.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Speak to women today about how they are to view their sexuality\u2014I think it\u2019d be difficult if I was a woman today to have a good sense\u2014a good plumb line\u2014of: \u201cWhat is right about me, as a woman?\u201d and, \u201cWhat\u2019s not right\u2014what\u2019s bad?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> You know, I think that\u2019s a tool that women can fall into\u2014using their sexuality for wrong reasons. They can use it, manipulatively, to get something for themselves\u2014whether it is love, whether it\u2019s a husband they are hoping to get, whether it\u2019s\u2014within marriage\u2014something that they want to get from their husband. It can be a tool, which is not why God created it. Women have the ability, with their sexuality, to wrap men around their finger if they want to. That\u2019s a misuse of it. It is meant to be a gift. It\u2019s not meant to be a tool for self-gratification\u2014self-promotion.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we ought to say, here, you\u2019re a single woman.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Been single your whole life?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Reading the Proverbs and what it has to say about sexuality\u2014how has that influenced you? How has that informed you? How is your sexuality being lived out differently because of what Proverbs teaches?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes; I think when you read Proverbs 5 and 7\u2014which really focus so much on warning these young men about this immoral woman and what about her makes her immoral\u2014it\u2019s not just blatant sex. It\u2019s her words. It is how she presents herself\u2014how she communicates.<\/p>\n<p>But I think, as a single woman, we\u2019re all called to safeguard marriage, whether we are single or married. I think, for single people\u2014they can look at this and say: \u201cI\u2019m called, as a single woman, to safeguard something that God hasn\u2019t given to me. Is that fair?\u201d And the answer is: \u201cWell, it\u2019s not about what\u2019s fair. It\u2019s that God has made marriage. It\u2019s His design, and it\u2019s beautiful, and it points to something beyond itself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And that is where, I think, if we read Proverbs\u2014seeing all that it says about marriage\u2014what it points to about it\u2014and then the opposite of that and how taking sexual love, that\u2019s meant to be for marriage only, outside of that context is always destructive. To say that keeping God\u2019s way\u2014safeguarding it\u2014whether we are single or married\u2014conduces to our happiness. That\u2019s because it\u2019s God\u2019s way.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you think about little girls growing up today\u2014young ladies, young women\u2014who are seeing the barrage of sexual innuendo on TV, on the internet, billboards, magazines, cinema. They are getting all these messages to be more aggressive, sexually.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s not just innuendo. It\u2019s pretty right out there. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s blatant. You don\u2019t know this, I don\u2019t think, Lydia; but a couple of years ago, I completed a book for parents called <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>. It\u2019s from Proverbs 5, 6, and 7. It\u2019s coaching\u2014to moms and dads, raising sons\u2014about how to be wise about aggressive girls; but it\u2019s also coaching\u2014to the moms and dads, of young ladies, about how to use their sexuality for good purposes and not evil.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> And part of the reason you wrote this book is because you see, in the culture, an increased phenomenon of aggressive girls. It seems like that\u2019s become the most common way for girls to present themselves\u2014is to be aggressive, sexually.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I think moms and dads don\u2019t need to be bashful and, certainly, don\u2019t need to be silent\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> No, they shouldn\u2019t be.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, they need to go to the Book; and if nothing else, just get out Proverbs\u2014Chapter 5, 6, and 7\u2014and read one chapter at a time and talk about it. Talk about what\u2019s on TV, what\u2019s on the internet, how the culture is fueling and adding\u2014really, adding fire to these young people, growing up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes, it is. And those are the chapters to read, for sure. It points, inevitably, to the downward spiral that happens for pursuing that way of life. Whether it\u2019s teenage sexuality or any other way\u2014anytime it is taken outside of the context for which God intended it\u2014it\u2019s going to lead to misery, and heartbreak, and destruction of one sort or another.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> The average woman, who is going to a Bible study group with other women at her church, is going to hear us talking about this and saying: \u201cWell, that\u2014I\u2019ve got nothing to do with that. I\u2019m a married woman. I\u2019m a happily married woman. I can kind of skip over this part; can\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> You know, I think: \u201cNo. I think we all need to be not na\u00efve about the need to safeguard marriage.\u201d You know, one of the stories, I relate in the book, is about a young couple who were trying to help another young woman, who was down and out for a while. They invited her to come live in their home until she could get back on her feet again. The problem was she was a very attractive, young woman.<\/p>\n<p>She came to live with them. Within a week of that, the wife came to me and was saying she was feeling a little bit uncomfortable\u2014not that anything was untoward. I mean, the husband was very appropriate and so was she\u2014both women were\u2014but the wife was feeling like her space in her marriage was being intruded upon. So, she went home and talked to her husband about it. The two of them helped that woman find another place to go. She was out of there by the end of the week. I think, in that kind of situation, it\u2019s not wise to invite young, attractive women to come live with married couples. Even if they all think, \u201cNothing will ever happen,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> \u2014and chances are it won\u2019t; but the thing is\u2014part of safeguarding marriage is to not even open the door to something developing. Nobody ever wakes up and says, \u201cI think I\u2019m going to have an affair today.\u201d It happens one little shared confidence at a time\u2014one little banter, one little joke. That\u2019s how it develops. No one chooses, deliberately, to just walk into something like that. People develop into something like that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to underscore something that you said in your book and just compliment you for calling all women\u2014whether single or married\u2014to do everything they can to protect <em>their <\/em>marriage <em>and<\/em> other people\u2019s marriages. You do that by avoiding the inappropriate promotion of your own sexuality; but also, look out for others\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and call others to correct behavior\u2014maybe, a flirtatious spirit\u2014maybe, the way a young lady dresses. I know this may feel like, at points, like we\u2019re judges; but I think we are called to protect other people\u2014not just our own situation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Very much so. And there is a modesty of personal restraint. It\u2019s not just modesty with clothing. It\u2019s about our whole personhood. Working, for years, in an office environment, I could see this. Today, where men and women are in an office environment together, those colleagues are spending more time with each other than with their spouses.<\/p>\n<p>The bonding that can happen during that time is huge. So, how are we safeguarding the marriages of our colleagues? Are we letting them into our personal lives? Are we listening too much to theirs or are we shutting the door to being too personal? Even sharing problems, or jokes\u2014or too much of that\u2014can become flirtatious. That\u2019s how we safeguard it. It\u2019s not just with our clothing. It\u2019s about everything in our personhood.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And also, to our sons, we need to speak the truth, with a smile; but listen to what Solomon said to his son. This is at the end of Chapter 7, after he has warned him about this woman of the streets: \u201cAnd now, O sons, listen up\u201d\u2014listen to me\u2014\u201cand be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways.\u201d Let me just comment there. What happened with Solomon?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Whose heart turned aside to other women? \u201cLet not your heart turn aside to her ways. Do not stray into her paths for many a victim has she laid low.\u201d This is really vivid. It says, \u201cAnd all her slain are a mighty throng.\u201d It is like: \u201cLook around son. There is a bunch of casualties because of this woman. I don\u2019t want you to be one. Be a wise young man.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank you, Lydia, for being on the broadcast and for this book. I want to say, Bob, I\u2019m going to get Lydia to sign this to\u2014well, I\u2019m thinking about\u2014not only my four daughters\u2014but the two daughters who have been grafted into our family\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and married my sons.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> You want me to get a few copies sent up here?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think so. I think so. This is a great book that every woman ought to go through\u2014just to allow the book of Proverbs to speak to the issues she is dealing with.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have copies in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can request a copy. You can order, online, if you\u2019d like. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call if that\u2019s easier. Just call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Ask about the book, <em>A Woman\u2019s Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything<\/em>, by Lydia Brownback. Again, the number: 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-FL-TODAY. Or order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>I was reading a note from one of our listeners, that came through the other day\u2014that was talking about how\u2014this listener said, \u201cIt seems like whenever I\u2019m dealing with a particular issue, you guys are addressing something related to that issue right around the time that I\u2019m dealing with it.\u201d She was writing to say thanks for the program and to share with us how God has used the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in her life. Of course, we don\u2019t take any credit for that synergy and how all of that works together. That\u2019s in hands bigger than ours; but we are grateful to know that God is using <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in lots of lives. And we always appreciate hearing from listeners\u2014those of you who write to us or call and share about how God\u2019s at work through this program.<\/p>\n<p>And we are also grateful for those of you who get in touch with us to support this ministry. The cost of producing and syndicating a daily radio program is significant. As you make a donation, on occasion, or those of you who are Legacy Partners\u2014as you donate each month\u2014you\u2019re helping defray that cost. And we\u2019re grateful for your support. This month, if you can make a donation to support us, we\u2019d like to send you a couple of resources designed to help you deal with the issue of busyness. There is a CD you can listen to\u2014a book by Tim Kimmel called <em>Little House on the Freeway<\/em>. Again, we are happy to send those resources out to you as our way of saying, \u201cThank you for a donation of $25 or more.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click the \u201cI CARE\u201d button to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Ask for the \u201cBusyness Bundle\u201d when you do that. And if you\u2019d like to mail your donation to us, our address is: <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, P. O. Box 7111\u2014\u201c7-1-1-1\u201d\u2014Little Rock, Arkansas. Arkansas is \u201cAR\u201d. And our zip code is 72223. Again, we just want to say: \u201cThanks for your support. We appreciate your partnership with us, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And we hope you\u2019ll join us back again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear a message from Dr. John Piper about what marriage ought to be all about. That comes up tomorrow. Hope you can join us for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n"],"duration":["00:"],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.06M"],"filesize_raw":["25223590"],"_edit_lock":["1736448845:47000"],"_edit_last":["47000"],"theme_header_position":["Sticky"],"post_header_is_sticky":["default"],"is_header_overlay":["0"],"episode_type":["audio"],"date_recorded":["2013-09-25 11:00:00"],"enclosure":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-25.mp3"],"_seopress_redirections_type":["301"],"_seopress_redirections_logged_status":["both"],"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":[""],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302820.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302820.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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Brownback opens the book of Proverbs to find day-to-day wisdom for the modern-day woman.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-25.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Our emotions are a key part of how we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God; but when our emotions become central or dominant, there can be problems. Here\u2019s Lydia Brownback.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> There are a couple of proverbs that do address our emotions, but it\u2019s more observational than it is giving us a remedy for anything. For example, Proverbs 15:13 says, \u201cA glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of the heart, the spirit is crushed.\u201d So, it\u2019s just talking about the reality of what our emotions can do to us. That\u2019s why we need to look at the whole counsel of God\u2014all of Scripture\u2014to say, \u201cWhat do we do with these emotions that can crush our spirit?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, September 25<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll talk today about how we can get a handle on our emotions and benefit from them by understanding God\u2019s design. Stay tuned.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. This is going to be back in\u2014this has got to be\u2014is this your favorite book of the Bible\u2014the book of Proverbs?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good question.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you are stranded on the desert island, are you going to keep Romans or Proverbs?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Probably a survival manual. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>How to Build a Raft<\/em>\u2014you want that <em>How to Build a Raft<\/em> book? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like Proverbs.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like Psalms, though, too.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But you don\u2019t get me started\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because you\u2019re asking me to pick. I\u2019ve got to review all 66, Bob.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> You like Song of Solomon, too; but\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, Bob! [Laughter] I like Ecclesiastes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, okay.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s a good question\u2014Romans. I mean, there is no question that Proverbs would be right up there because I really think we all need what the book of Proverbs delivers\u2014which is wisdom\u2014and that\u2019s been defined by godly skill in everyday living.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and I have a question that I\u2019ve wanted to ask our guest, who is back with us, again, today\u2014Lydia Brownback joining us. Welcome back.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Great to be back with you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Lydia wrote a book called <em>A Woman\u2019s Wisdom<\/em>. She is an author; she is a speaker. The question I\u2019ve wanted to ask you is: \u201cDo you think Solomon compiled all of this wisdom, early in his life, when he was raising his kids? Do you think it is older? Where do you put this in his life?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Well, I think we read in the historical books of the Old Testament\u2014we see that Solomon was given a special gift of wisdom by God\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> \u2014right when he became king. He was a teenager, at that point.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He could ask God for anything, and he asked God for this.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes, and God was so pleased that he hadn\u2019t asked for a lot of money and great success. He\u2019d asked for wisdom to govern God\u2019s people well. And because God was so pleased with that, He gave Solomon wisdom above anyone who had ever lived, as well, as all the other blessings.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just want to stop you there for a moment because all of us have a prayer life\u2014where we going to God with requests\u2014we\u2019re going to Him with praises, petitions. We ought to pick up on what Solomon placed as a priority\u2014asking God for wisdom to know how to be a good steward of your life, of your marriage, your family\u2014whatever God has given to you\u2014and not be praying\u2014asking God for just success or material gain for whatever.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, do you think he started jotting down proverbs, right away, as God gave him wisdom\u2014he\u2019s just writing these down?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes. I think, partly\u2014because, back in those days, other cultures, in the ancient near east, collected proverbs. Every nation\u2014every culture\u2014had a collection of proverbs. Some of the ones we find in the Bible are very similar to those in other cultures, but the difference is the ones in the Bible all tie back to the Lord.<\/p>\n<p>So, yes, I think he was compiling them from the time he became king and he was given this wisdom; but I do think a lot of what he learned\u2014to, then, communicate\u2014 happened from his failures from just living life, day to day, with the Lord and finding out what wisdom is.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> He squandered his gift of wisdom. In fact, we read in the narrative that he became a fool at the end of his life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> You know what it was? We are told, very clearly, what turned his heart away. It\u2019s that he gave his heart to women who didn\u2019t know the Lord. It said, \u201cSolomon loved many foreign women;\u201d and that had nothing to do with nationality. It had everything to do with women who weren\u2019t following God. And it said, \u201cThese turned his heart away from the Lord.\u201d That was his downfall. He had more wisdom than anybody who ever lived. If it can happen to Solomon, it can happen to anybody. Falling for the wrong people\u2014giving our hearts to the wrong people\u2014can derail us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the areas that you chose to address\u2014in your book for women, where you gathered out proverbs from all 31 chapters\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s be clear, now, that this is Lydia\u2019s choice.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She\u2019s the one who made this choice\u2014not you or me, Bob.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you selected the issue of how a woman thinks, and feels, and what she wants. You felt like these are areas where a woman is vulnerable.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes; because if you think about it\u2014our thoughts, our choices, and our desires will shape the course of our lives. Therefore, applying wisdom to that area of our lives is <em>crucial<\/em> because it is going to shape what we do. So, what we think, and feel, and want is really what our heart is made up of. There is a priority to those three things\u2014thoughts, feelings, and desires. The chief of those three must be our thoughts. That needs to govern our feelings and desires.<\/p>\n<p>The mistake we can make is to allow our desires to be ahead of our thoughts\u2014to allow our whole lives to be dictated by our feelings\u2014our emotions. That\u2019s to live on a roller coaster. That\u2019s not wise. And we\u2019re not supposed to crush out our feelings or our desires. God has made us feeling people, and He has made us people who desire; but they have to be governed\u2014wisdom is to <em>govern<\/em> those by our thinking.<\/p>\n<p>You think\u2014all through the Bible, we are told what to do with our thoughts. There are direct commands about our thoughts. And you think Isaiah 26:3, \u201cYou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.\u201d Paul, in Romans 12:1 and 2, talks about being transformed by the renewing of our mind. In Romans 6, we\u2019re told that those who set their mind on the things of flesh live according to the flesh; but those who set their minds on the things of the Spirit live according to the Spirit.<\/p>\n<p>So, to be carnally-minded is death; but to have a mind set on the Spirit is life and peace. That is why, all through Scripture, we see the importance of governing our thoughts by Scripture; and then, letting those govern our emotions and our desires.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> We asked you, earlier, about your favorite proverb. You mentioned Proverbs 4:23 as one of your favorites. It\u2019s the proverb that says, \u201cGuard your heart for from it flow the issues of life\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes, \u201cGuard your heart\u201d.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014 the springs of life. That\u2019s really tied into this whole issue of a woman\u2019s thinking, her feelings, and her desires.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Very much so. That verse is applied, all the time, to romance. You know, \u201cGuard your heart about this boy and that boy\u201d; but it\u2019s really about guarding our hearts in the fear of the Lord. So, you are right. That particular Proverb\u20144:23\u2014is about this whole issue of mind, emotions, and desires.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I know, if Barbara was here, she would say, \u201cHelp me with what the Proverbs say about my emotions,\u201d because she\u2019ll hit a wall some day\u2014and for whatever reason, just kind of feels like she is under a cloud\u2014feels discouraged\u2014and it\u2019s difficult for her. I would say, for me, as a man\u2014to not feel enslaved, at points, to our emotions. I mean, I sometimes think, \u201cWhat a pigmy-like faith I have\u2014how immature I am,\u201d that I can\u2019t get above my emotions some days.<\/p>\n<p>What do the Proverbs teach about our emotions?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> You know, I think, basically, it doesn\u2019t directly speak, black and white, to our emotions. It\u2019s from studying it over all that we get the answer to that. If you think about it, our emotions are purely a response to what\u2019s going on in our lives; but what we can do is\u2014to that initial response that we can\u2019t help\u2014we can take charge of it so we don\u2019t have to be victimized by our emotions.<\/p>\n<p>Today, what makes it so hard is that we live in a society that tells us that feelings are everything\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> \u2014and psychology tells us that, and every song we hear on the radio\u2014all the romance novels\u2014everything is about how we feel\u2014how we feel; how we feel. The main thing in choosing a mate is: \u201cDo you feel in love?\u201d People end marriages, all the time, because they don\u2019t feel like they are in love anymore. Feelings have become central to everything. So, we can buy into that and feel like we are victimized by our feelings.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think there are some people who are wired as thinkers and other people who are wired as feelers. I mean, I just think, personality-wise, some people are more\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You think that, Bob?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in touch with that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you think that?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think that. I tend to be more of a thinker. I have friends who tend to be more emotive. They are more in touch with what they are feeling.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let me tell you how I feel about that. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m curious about the woman who wrote the book on <em>A Woman\u2019s Wisdom<\/em>\u2014more of a thinker than a feeler?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> You know, I would tend to say I am more of a feeler; but over time\u2014studying Proverbs\u2014I\u2019ve been trying to cultivate the other way around. I\u2019ve been trying to <em>think<\/em> before I feel\u2014or when I feel\u2014to <em>think<\/em> through why I\u2019m feeling that way.<\/p>\n<p>There are a couple of Proverbs that do address our emotions; but it\u2019s more observational than it is giving us a remedy for anything. For example, Proverbs 15:13 says, \u201cA glad heart makes a cheerful face; but by sorrow of the heart, the spirit is crushed.\u201d So, it\u2019s just talking about the reality of what our emotions can do to us. It\u2019s not providing a remedy there. That\u2019s why we need to look at the whole counsel of God\u2014all of Scripture\u2014to say, \u201cWhat do we do with these emotions that can crush our spirit?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Can you give me an example of how your emotions have steered you in the wrong direction or how you\u2019ve had to bring every thought captive to the wisdom of Christ?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes, very much so. Even, just this week, I woke up on Monday; and I felt really down. Everything sort of had a grey cast on it. It wasn\u2019t just because it was the tenth day of rain in a row, which happens a lot in Syracuse. I couldn\u2019t quite put my finger on it. So, I started to think\u2014my mind started to go: \u201cDo I need to make a change in my life? Did I make a mistake by moving here? Did I\u201d\u2014you can kind of get off on a track because I was feeling a little down.<\/p>\n<p>So, I took myself in-hand; and I thought, \u201cI have no reason to be down.\u201d I was able to think back to the previous 48 hours\u2014where a couple of conversations had left me with sort of that anxious feeling\u2014and I hadn\u2019t had a very good day the day before. So, as I thought through what was going on, I was able to say: \u201cThat\u2019s why I\u2019m feeling this way. Don\u2019t let these emotions be the determiner of what\u2019s going on in my life. Instead, take control and determine what you are going to do with those emotions.\u201d Within about five hours, my joy was restored.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And for a lot of women, that would be a great discipline to go through.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> I think it takes practice.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It does. And there is some great coaching in what you just shared. As you share in your book, there are a number of issues that the book of Proverbs deals with. One is finances. The other is self-control. There is one you haven\u2019t spoken on that I want you to just comment on, briefly. It\u2019s about, really, having a godly perspective of your sexuality, as a woman. It doesn\u2019t call the Proverbs, Chapter 5 and Chapter 7, woman a fool; but she was a woman of the streets. She was using her sexuality for wrong reasons\u2014for evil reasons.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Speak to women today about how they are to view their sexuality\u2014I think it\u2019d be difficult if I was a woman today to have a good sense\u2014a good plumb line\u2014of: \u201cWhat is right about me, as a woman?\u201d and, \u201cWhat\u2019s not right\u2014what\u2019s bad?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> You know, I think that\u2019s a tool that women can fall into\u2014using their sexuality for wrong reasons. They can use it, manipulatively, to get something for themselves\u2014whether it is love, whether it\u2019s a husband they are hoping to get, whether it\u2019s\u2014within marriage\u2014something that they want to get from their husband. It can be a tool, which is not why God created it. Women have the ability, with their sexuality, to wrap men around their finger if they want to. That\u2019s a misuse of it. It is meant to be a gift. It\u2019s not meant to be a tool for self-gratification\u2014self-promotion.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we ought to say, here, you\u2019re a single woman.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Been single your whole life?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Reading the Proverbs and what it has to say about sexuality\u2014how has that influenced you? How has that informed you? How is your sexuality being lived out differently because of what Proverbs teaches?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes; I think when you read Proverbs 5 and 7\u2014which really focus so much on warning these young men about this immoral woman and what about her makes her immoral\u2014it\u2019s not just blatant sex. It\u2019s her words. It is how she presents herself\u2014how she communicates.<\/p>\n<p>But I think, as a single woman, we\u2019re all called to safeguard marriage, whether we are single or married. I think, for single people\u2014they can look at this and say: \u201cI\u2019m called, as a single woman, to safeguard something that God hasn\u2019t given to me. Is that fair?\u201d And the answer is: \u201cWell, it\u2019s not about what\u2019s fair. It\u2019s that God has made marriage. It\u2019s His design, and it\u2019s beautiful, and it points to something beyond itself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And that is where, I think, if we read Proverbs\u2014seeing all that it says about marriage\u2014what it points to about it\u2014and then the opposite of that and how taking sexual love, that\u2019s meant to be for marriage only, outside of that context is always destructive. To say that keeping God\u2019s way\u2014safeguarding it\u2014whether we are single or married\u2014conduces to our happiness. That\u2019s because it\u2019s God\u2019s way.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you think about little girls growing up today\u2014young ladies, young women\u2014who are seeing the barrage of sexual innuendo on TV, on the internet, billboards, magazines, cinema. They are getting all these messages to be more aggressive, sexually.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s not just innuendo. It\u2019s pretty right out there. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s blatant. You don\u2019t know this, I don\u2019t think, Lydia; but a couple of years ago, I completed a book for parents called <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>. It\u2019s from Proverbs 5, 6, and 7. It\u2019s coaching\u2014to moms and dads, raising sons\u2014about how to be wise about aggressive girls; but it\u2019s also coaching\u2014to the moms and dads, of young ladies, about how to use their sexuality for good purposes and not evil.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> And part of the reason you wrote this book is because you see, in the culture, an increased phenomenon of aggressive girls. It seems like that\u2019s become the most common way for girls to present themselves\u2014is to be aggressive, sexually.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I think moms and dads don\u2019t need to be bashful and, certainly, don\u2019t need to be silent\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> No, they shouldn\u2019t be.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, they need to go to the Book; and if nothing else, just get out Proverbs\u2014Chapter 5, 6, and 7\u2014and read one chapter at a time and talk about it. Talk about what\u2019s on TV, what\u2019s on the internet, how the culture is fueling and adding\u2014really, adding fire to these young people, growing up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes, it is. And those are the chapters to read, for sure. It points, inevitably, to the downward spiral that happens for pursuing that way of life. Whether it\u2019s teenage sexuality or any other way\u2014anytime it is taken outside of the context for which God intended it\u2014it\u2019s going to lead to misery, and heartbreak, and destruction of one sort or another.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> The average woman, who is going to a Bible study group with other women at her church, is going to hear us talking about this and saying: \u201cWell, that\u2014I\u2019ve got nothing to do with that. I\u2019m a married woman. I\u2019m a happily married woman. I can kind of skip over this part; can\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> You know, I think: \u201cNo. I think we all need to be not na\u00efve about the need to safeguard marriage.\u201d You know, one of the stories, I relate in the book, is about a young couple who were trying to help another young woman, who was down and out for a while. They invited her to come live in their home until she could get back on her feet again. The problem was she was a very attractive, young woman.<\/p>\n<p>She came to live with them. Within a week of that, the wife came to me and was saying she was feeling a little bit uncomfortable\u2014not that anything was untoward. I mean, the husband was very appropriate and so was she\u2014both women were\u2014but the wife was feeling like her space in her marriage was being intruded upon. So, she went home and talked to her husband about it. The two of them helped that woman find another place to go. She was out of there by the end of the week. I think, in that kind of situation, it\u2019s not wise to invite young, attractive women to come live with married couples. Even if they all think, \u201cNothing will ever happen,\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> \u2014and chances are it won\u2019t; but the thing is\u2014part of safeguarding marriage is to not even open the door to something developing. Nobody ever wakes up and says, \u201cI think I\u2019m going to have an affair today.\u201d It happens one little shared confidence at a time\u2014one little banter, one little joke. That\u2019s how it develops. No one chooses, deliberately, to just walk into something like that. People develop into something like that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to underscore something that you said in your book and just compliment you for calling all women\u2014whether single or married\u2014to do everything they can to protect <em>their <\/em>marriage <em>and<\/em> other people\u2019s marriages. You do that by avoiding the inappropriate promotion of your own sexuality; but also, look out for others\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and call others to correct behavior\u2014maybe, a flirtatious spirit\u2014maybe, the way a young lady dresses. I know this may feel like, at points, like we\u2019re judges; but I think we are called to protect other people\u2014not just our own situation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Very much so. And there is a modesty of personal restraint. It\u2019s not just modesty with clothing. It\u2019s about our whole personhood. Working, for years, in an office environment, I could see this. Today, where men and women are in an office environment together, those colleagues are spending more time with each other than with their spouses.<\/p>\n<p>The bonding that can happen during that time is huge. So, how are we safeguarding the marriages of our colleagues? Are we letting them into our personal lives? Are we listening too much to theirs or are we shutting the door to being too personal? Even sharing problems, or jokes\u2014or too much of that\u2014can become flirtatious. That\u2019s how we safeguard it. It\u2019s not just with our clothing. It\u2019s about everything in our personhood.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And also, to our sons, we need to speak the truth, with a smile; but listen to what Solomon said to his son. This is at the end of Chapter 7, after he has warned him about this woman of the streets: \u201cAnd now, O sons, listen up\u201d\u2014listen to me\u2014\u201cand be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways.\u201d Let me just comment there. What happened with Solomon?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lydia:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Whose heart turned aside to other women? \u201cLet not your heart turn aside to her ways. Do not stray into her paths for many a victim has she laid low.\u201d This is really vivid. It says, \u201cAnd all her slain are a mighty throng.\u201d It is like: \u201cLook around son. There is a bunch of casualties because of this woman. I don\u2019t want you to be one. Be a wise young man.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank you, Lydia, for being on the broadcast and for this book. I want to say, Bob, I\u2019m going to get Lydia to sign this to\u2014well, I\u2019m thinking about\u2014not only my four daughters\u2014but the two daughters who have been grafted into our family\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and married my sons.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> You want me to get a few copies sent up here?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think so. I think so. This is a great book that every woman ought to go through\u2014just to allow the book of Proverbs to speak to the issues she is dealing with.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have copies in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can request a copy. You can order, online, if you\u2019d like. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call if that\u2019s easier. Just call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Ask about the book, <em>A Woman\u2019s Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything<\/em>, by Lydia Brownback. Again, the number: 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-FL-TODAY. Or order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>I was reading a note from one of our listeners, that came through the other day\u2014that was talking about how\u2014this listener said, \u201cIt seems like whenever I\u2019m dealing with a particular issue, you guys are addressing something related to that issue right around the time that I\u2019m dealing with it.\u201d She was writing to say thanks for the program and to share with us how God has used the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in her life. Of course, we don\u2019t take any credit for that synergy and how all of that works together. That\u2019s in hands bigger than ours; but we are grateful to know that God is using <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in lots of lives. And we always appreciate hearing from listeners\u2014those of you who write to us or call and share about how God\u2019s at work through this program.<\/p>\n<p>And we are also grateful for those of you who get in touch with us to support this ministry. The cost of producing and syndicating a daily radio program is significant. As you make a donation, on occasion, or those of you who are Legacy Partners\u2014as you donate each month\u2014you\u2019re helping defray that cost. And we\u2019re grateful for your support. This month, if you can make a donation to support us, we\u2019d like to send you a couple of resources designed to help you deal with the issue of busyness. There is a CD you can listen to\u2014a book by Tim Kimmel called <em>Little House on the Freeway<\/em>. Again, we are happy to send those resources out to you as our way of saying, \u201cThank you for a donation of $25 or more.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click the \u201cI CARE\u201d button to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Ask for the \u201cBusyness Bundle\u201d when you do that. And if you\u2019d like to mail your donation to us, our address is: <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, P. O. Box 7111\u2014\u201c7-1-1-1\u201d\u2014Little Rock, Arkansas. Arkansas is \u201cAR\u201d. And our zip code is 72223. Again, we just want to say: \u201cThanks for your support. We appreciate your partnership with us, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And we hope you\u2019ll join us back again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear a message from Dr. John Piper about what marriage ought to be all about. That comes up tomorrow. Hope you can join us for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302820","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302820"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302820"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302820"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302820"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302820"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302820"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302820"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}