{"id":302815,"date":"2013-09-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-09-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-barrenness-of-busyness\/"},"modified":"2013-09-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-09-13T15:00:00","slug":"the-barrenness-of-busyness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-barrenness-of-busyness\/","title":{"rendered":"The Barrenness of Busyness"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How would their marriage be able to withstand this infidelity and the shocking news of Audrey&#8217;s unexpected pregnancy?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-13.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.48M","filesize_raw":"26714482","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2903],"tags":[4377,5269,2699,4874],"podcast_series":[7971],"cwp_profile":[3139],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302815","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-infidelity","tag-affair","tag-cheating-spouse","tag-forgiveness","tag-infidelity","podcast_series-marriage-undercover","cwp_profile-bob-and-audrey-meisner","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302815\/the-barrenness-of-busyness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302815\/the-barrenness-of-busyness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"RkbvnWWHu0\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-barrenness-of-busyness\/\">The Barrenness of Busyness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-barrenness-of-busyness\/embed\/#?secret=RkbvnWWHu0\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Barrenness of Busyness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"RkbvnWWHu0\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"How would their marriage be able to withstand this infidelity and the shocking news of Audrey's unexpected pregnancy?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Audrey Meisner had been unfaithful to her husband, Bob. She had confessed, and they were working to put the marriage back together when she learned she was pregnant. When she found out, she remembers praying what she now says was a foolish prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audrey:<\/strong> \u201cGod, if you love me, you will take this from me.\u201d And that was when I begged Him for a miscarriage. I said, \u201cI\u2019ve never asked you for anything like this before, God, but I need this God.\u201d And I look back now, and I will say, \u201cI am so thankful that because God loves me He did not answer my prayer my way.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, September 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Bob and Audrey Meisner join us today to share about some of the choices and complications they faced as they tried to rebuild a marriage that had been fractured by adultery. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know most of our days are pretty normal days\u2014days when you kind of go through the normal routine of life. But all of us, I think, can look back on our lives and find those defining moments, those days when something explosive happened in our lives, that will be with us for the rest of our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, and we have a couple with us who have experienced one of those days. Bob and Audrey Meisner join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audrey:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob is the President and CEO of New Day Ministries; and together, Bob and Audrey cohost a television program called <em>My New Day<\/em> in Canada which is being streamed on the internet, right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is a 30-minute daily program there in Canada. Audrey, your parents\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audrey:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014were in ministry for a number of years; and that\u2019s an important point here as we talk about, really, the story of your book, <em>Marriage Undercover<\/em>\u2014and the subtitle kind of gives it away: <em>Thriving in a Culture of Quiet Desperation<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve already shared with us this week that 17 years into what you called a perfect marriage, where everybody is happy and everything is going along, a young man began to show some affection, some attention, that, Audrey, you fell into. That led to an affair that lasted for three weeks. God brought conviction on you. You came to your husband and confessed, and you guys made the decision you were going to get some help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s really where we are in the story, but I\u2019m curious as we pick this up, looking back on that 17-year perfect marriage, you were busy, you liked each other, you got along; but you just weren\u2019t laughing a lot together or enjoying just having fun, were you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> We were busy. I mean we got a lot of things to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audrey:<\/strong> We had things to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Didn\u2019t have time for fun. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> Yes, the world\u2019s lost; and we\u2019ve got to save the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audrey:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> All about the task. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audrey:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> That\u2019s it. That\u2019s it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audrey:<\/strong> We get stuck in our function. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But the busyness was really a trap? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> The busyness is a trap; but what happens with couples is that we miss the face-to-face relationship, and we begin to live side by side. You\u2019ve got your roles and your responsibilities, and I\u2019ve got mine. So, as long as you keep your functions\u2014and so, when we first were married, what amazed us about each other all of the sudden becomes expected. Then when that\u2019s not being met, then, all of the sudden you become a disappointment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s what many couples suffer with is that \u201cBoy, one day I\u2019m amazing; and the next day, I\u2019m a disappointment.\u201d That\u2019s simply because what was amazing has become expected and, then becomes a disappointment. So, that\u2019s the busyness of life. God\u2019s design of marriage is the union of oneness and that face-to-face relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of us, the difficulty is that when we are face-to-face, it requires an intimacy, a willingness to be known\u2014to be fully known by that other person and then to be fully loved. So, it\u2019s easy to bury ourselves in activity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We marry because we are longing for intimacy. Genesis, Chapter 2, talks about \"a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one.\u201d Then, it says, \u201cThe man and his woman were both naked, and they were not ashamed.\u201d It\u2019s the idea of transparency, of oneness. That\u2019s why we get married. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t get married to be isolated. Yet, as we talk about at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway, Bob, that\u2019s the theme of the entire getaway\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014that everything in life is moving you toward isolation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s dividing you. It\u2019s moving you to you do your thing, let her do her thing; and our lives touch at points, but are we really naked and unashamed? I\u2019m not just talking about the physical nakedness. It\u2019s talking about transparency of what\u2019s really going on in your souls. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. And when a couple finds themselves in that place of isolation, they should not be surprised or feel like we\u2019re the only couple who has ever been here because that\u2019s where the drift takes you. You have to understand that most couples haven\u2019t figured out how to work your way back to oneness. That\u2019s what the Bible points us to, and that\u2019s where it takes us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Audrey:<\/strong> And that\u2019s where I don\u2019t want the listeners to have to face the kind of crisis that forced us to go one way or the other. Either we were going to face each other for the first time in years, or we were going to actually split up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and I want to go back, Bob, because in a situation like this\u2014here your wife pulled out of the marriage. She has got somebody preying on her. She falls. It\u2019s easy for a husband to get a little self-righteous here\u2014okay?\u2014and to go, \u201cYou know I\u2019ve been carrying my side of the bargain. I\u2019ve been doing what a husband is supposed to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I have to believe that as you\u2019ve looked back in those 17 years, you could look back and say, \u201cThere were some things\u2014there were some ways I contributed to this whole situation.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> Yes. And I would not necessarily categorize it as a self-righteousness; but what happened in my life is I switched to the role of the victim. So, that\u2019s more of the role, you know, that happened with me. And that\u2019s what happens in marriage is that we create a partnership, like a business. Then you create contract rather than recognizing the union of oneness and the covenant of marriage and the protection and the safety and the strength that it creates. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When did you forgive? When did you give up the right to punish Audrey? This role you\u2019re playing of being a victim, I think that\u2019s some of, really, the result, kind of a - natural consequence of being hurt deeply, obviously; but the antidote for that is to get out of the role of being a victim and to become proactive and to do the most unnatural thing God ever commanded a human heart to do in a situation like this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s in Ephesians, Chapter 4, verse 32: \u201cBe kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.\u201d When did you give up the right to punish Audrey? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> That took years. That was a process, and I believe forgiveness culminates in a moment where it\u2019s finished. But what happened was that it\u2019s not me forgiving her, but rather me recognizing how forgiven I am, because you can\u2019t give away something that you don\u2019t have. So, I began\u2014because my life had its own hurt, my life had its own pain. And with that, I shrouded myself in activity. I shrouded myself in religious work, in anger. Those were my fronts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut all of the sudden here\u2014this is something that is out of my control. I can\u2019t pretend anymore. We haven\u2019t talked about this; but as a result of the affair Audrey became pregnant. So my biggest question was this: \u201cWill I be able to love this baby as my own, or will this baby forever be a reminder of the betrayal and the rejection?\u201d So I quickly began to recognize my deficiency and capacity to be able to love. That\u2019s where it happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, to forgive Audrey, it\u2019s almost as though it\u2019s a natural; but then, to stop the punishment, that was a big deal because you punish out of fear. So, what we\u2019ve found is that in our marriage of 17 years, we had a real fear-based love for one another. It\u2019s a false love, but that was my turning point\u2014was that I knew that this baby was innocent. This baby didn\u2019t do anything wrong, and it was unfair for this baby to be raised by an angry father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I needed to know the extravagance of my Father\u2019s love, the completeness of my Father\u2019s forgiveness. When His realities became mine\u2014Colossians 1:27, \u201cChrist in you, your hope of glory,\u201d--Christ in you gives you the confidence, the assurance, the knowing and glory is when His view and opinion of you becomes your reality. That\u2019s glorious. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen God\u2019s realities became mine, then, I was able to then extend that same love and that forgiveness and that covering and that nurturing and that cherishing that I was missing all of these years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Audrey, did you find out that you were pregnant after you had confessed to Bob what had happened? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audrey:<\/strong> Absolutely, I didn\u2019t have any idea or even think it was possible for me to be pregnant. After I told Bob, it was about two weeks later. We had gone to Phoenix, got some help, and really felt like, \u201cOkay, we have enough that we\u2019re going to be okay. We\u2019re going to make it through this. It\u2019s going to be tough. We are in massive amounts of pain.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, you felt, Audrey, like you were maybe making some progress toward healing over the betrayal when all of the sudden you get news that you know is going to be a huge setback. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Audrey:<\/strong> Oh my gosh! You have no idea how this affected me because when I told Bob about the affair, I didn\u2019t think I could face my future. But walking out of that doctor\u2019s office knowing that I am pregnant\u2014our other kids are 10, 12, and 15 years old. I\u2019m one of those kind of moms would do anything to take a bullet for my kids. I love my kids with everything I\u2019ve got. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd now, I\u2019m walking out of this doctor\u2019s office thinking, \u201cI\u2019ve messed up my kids\u2019 lives. I\u2019ve messed up my husband. I\u2019ve been in ministry all my life\u2014just wanting to be a Jesus girl so that everyone knows I love Jesus. And now, everyone is going to know the most stupid and selfish thing I\u2019ve ever done.\u201d When I walked out of that office, I didn\u2019t know I could face my life. It was probably the moment of despair where I had no hope and that desperate fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was just a couple days later that I called the abortion clinic\u2014and I say that saying just to any of the listeners out there, \u201cI understand that kind of desperation;\u201d but I\u2019m here today saying I\u2019m so thankful I hung up the phone and I fell to my knees. I said, \u201cJesus, I know that\u2019s not the answer. I know you. I know you, my Dad in Heaven.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I remember praying this: \u201cGod, if you love me, you will take this from me.\u201d And that was when I begged Him for a miscarriage. I said, \u201cI\u2019ve never asked you for anything like this before God, but I need this, God.\u201d I look back, now, and I will say, \u201cI am so thankful that, because God loves me, He did not answer my prayer my way.\u201d You see, I wanted to get evacuated out of my circumstances. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean how many times do we think of the best way for God to answer our prayer, our situation\u2014whether it\u2019s our health, our finances, our family, our kids\u2014we just think of the best way that God could just make this all better. And I know the character of my God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy Daddy in Heaven said, \u201cAudrey\u201d\u2014basically, I look back and He said, \u201cI\u2019m not going to evacuate you out, but I, in my love and in my comfort, am going to walk you through.\u201d And when you walk through something\u2014\u201cYea, though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you fear no evil for I am with you. My rod and my staff, they comfort you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those who are in pain right now that are listening, you know that it\u2019s in those times where you have nothing left and you are hanging onto Jesus with all your might, you find Him in a place in your heart where He heals you and He holds you and He loves you to a place of healing that is much beyond any circumstances. When you\u2019ve experienced that kind of love and unconditional intimacy with God and that mercy, you know Him in a way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter you\u2019ve gone through, you come out different. After you\u2019ve gone through, you come out knowing who God is, His nature, His character. You come out with authority to help others who have been through pain. You come out with passion to help people who are in similar circumstances. And you know I get emotional\u2014and you can hear the emotion in my voice because I still remember that kind of desperation; but I cry, not out of sadness, but out of worship because I know the Lord is my Shepherd. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m thinking about your other three children. They were teenagers. I mean old enough to know. How did you tell them? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> It was extremely intentional. One evening after dinner, I told the kids, \u201cWe\u2019re going to have a Meisner family meeting,\u201d which was a custom in our home; but that evening they came up to our bedroom, and they walked in seeing a mom and dad sitting on the floor crying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember my oldest son, 15 years old, the fear that gripped his heart and it was expressed over his face. And he sits down in concern. My daughter comes in, and she is also wondering what\u2019s happening. She\u2019s 13, and then, my third born, David, he\u2019s ten. And he comes in and sits down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a family as we sat there on the floor, I stood up immediately and I went over to the bed and I pulled the large queen-sized blanket from the bed; and with Audrey seated on the floor, I took that blanket and I covered her from head to foot. I knelt down beside her and I wrapped my arms around her and I looked deep into my kids\u2019 eyes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cKids, this is what God does when we make a mistake. He comes to us, He covers us, and He wraps His arms around us and He says, \u2018I\u2019ll never leave you. I\u2019ll never forsake you.\u201d With Audrey covered and held in my arms, I looked deep into my kids\u2019 eyes, and I began to express to them how much I loved their mom and how much we are a family and that we belong with each other. I knew that the number one key element that I needed to communicate to them was security\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> \u2014and I\u2019m just speaking to them that we\u2019re a family and we belong with each other. With Audrey covered and held in my arms, I said, \u201cKids, you are going to have a baby brother.\u201d I had had a vasectomy. My older children knew what had happened immediately. My son, 15, he begins to cry. My daughter, 13\u2014she\u2019s crying and crying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, she looks at me; and she\u2019s got this contagious smile all over her face. She said, \u201cDaddy, we\u2019re having a baby.\u201d She begins to cry again, but she can\u2019t contain the excitement. \u201cDaddy, we\u2019re having a baby.\u201d My ten-year-old, he\u2019s a little confused and he\u2019s looking at all of us and he said, \u201cI just don\u2019t get it.\u201d He said, \u201cAt least, I\u2019m not going to be the youngest anymore.\u201d And I knew that we were going to be okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, I struggled. My greatest struggle was with my capacity, or my ability, to be able to love because of the wound, because of the pain, because of my interrogation, because of my questioning, I had vivid imaginations of what took place, where, when, how many times; and these would send me into moments of anger and rage and depression. I was learning over the months to be able to manage that; but I would just be honest with my pastor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne morning, we had just a quick cup of coffee, but he knew my questioning. \u201cWhat am I going to do?\u201d And this one morning, he answered me. He said, \u201cBob, there\u2019s a baby on your doorstep. What will you do? Will you participate with this fatherless generation, or will you become a father to the fatherless? It\u2019s time to grow up.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I mean it was months of intensity; but I knew what I was wrestling with. So that night when we went to the hospital and my daughter insisted--she\u2019s like \u201cI\u2019m going to be there.\u201d She would sing to the baby. She would rub Audrey\u2019s tummy. She couldn\u2019t wait for this baby to be born. And as we were there in the hospital room, we were together; and I needed to find a middle name\u2014because I\u2019ve had pastors-- \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was well known in the Christian community. People would call me, and they said, \u201cBob, you\u2019re doing so well. You can\u2019t keep this baby. Don\u2019t put that added pressure on your family and on your children. We have people in our church. You can adopt this baby out.\u201d I mean those were the kinds of things that I was being bombarded with; but it was like, \u201cNo, I\u2019m a father, and this will be my son.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, as my daughter and I sat together in that hospital chair, we came across the name Theodore. Theodore is \u201cdivine gift.\u201d Because I choose my words carefully, when our son was born, I gave him my name Robert\u2014Robert because I don\u2019t want him to ever question one day in his life whose boy he is. This is my son\u2014Theodore, \u201cdivine gift,\u201d because he\u2019s not an accident, he\u2019s not a mistake, he\u2019s not the result of a sexual affair. He\u2019s born out of the heart of God\u2014just like my other three kids\u2014and entrusted to us. We\u2019re a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know as you share that story I just\u2014this verse, I\u2019ve got it right here. I just want to read it. It just kept bouncing around in my head because I love to hear stories where God takes something that could have turned out terribly and how He delights in redemption. Heaven is going to be filled with great stories of redemption. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEphesians chapter 3, verse 20: \u201cNow, to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we can ask or think according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod has been at work here and is still at work. I\u2019m sure we haven\u2019t heard all the story, but I\u2019m glad you guys didn\u2019t quit. I\u2019m glad you exhibited the courage to tell your story, not only in print, but on your TV show and also here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014and I think provide hope for some listeners who may be facing some uncertain days and the need to move toward forgiveness. Thanks for being obedient. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob M:<\/strong> Our pleasure. Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I would imagine some of our listeners are going to want to get copies of the book, <em>Marriage Undercover<\/em>, that Bob and Audrey have written which we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how to order a copy of the book. You can order online if you\u2019d like. Again, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me remind you quickly that today is the last day I have to tell you about the special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway this fall. We\u2019ll be in about four dozen cities this fall with our two-and-a-half day weekend getaway for couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you sign up this weekend\u2014Sunday is the cutoff\u2014sign up to attend, pay the regular registration fee for yourself, and your spouse comes free. So, it\u2019s basically the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway at half price for the two of you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com; and if you register online, we\u2019ll need to know that you\u2019re a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener so you\u2019ll be eligible for the special offer. Just type my name, \u201cBOB\u201d\u2014type \u201cB-O-B\u201d\u2014in the promotion code box on the online registration form; and then as you finish up the process, the special offer will kick in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY, register over the phone. Just mention that you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> so you\u2019ll qualify for the buy one, get one free special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. Again, the offer expires this weekend, so let us hear from you right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, finally, I want to encourage you to consider getting together with four other couples this fall for something very special\u2014something you guys can do that would help your marriage and would help strengthen the marriages of people you know in your church, in your work place, folks you know in the neighborhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m talking about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> small group study. It\u2019s a six-week study that we\u2019ve designed that uses about a 30-minute video each session and then a workbook that couples can go through together. And it\u2019s a great way to cultivate relationships with other couples and to strengthen your marriage at the same time. <br><br>This week, our team has put together a special offer\u2014and I say it\u2019s this week. The offer expires this weekend. So, if you want to take advantage of this, we need to hear from you today. If you will cover the cost for ten manuals and what we call the starter kit, we will subtract out the cost of the DVDs from the starter kit price. So, basically, you get the DVDs free as long as you cover the cost of the manuals for everybody in the group. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Again, the offer is good this week only. But let me challenge you to consider doing this. This is a great way to reach out to people in your community and maybe invite some folks over who don\u2019t normally go to church but who would be interested in getting together with other couples and strengthening their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Find out more. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and look for information about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> small group series, available this week at a special price for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and ask about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> small group series. We\u2019ll provide whatever help we can. <br><br>With that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for today. Thanks for being with us. Hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family can worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to hear a remarkable story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to hear about a woman who was a tenured professor; she was a lesbian who was confronted with the kind love of a local pastor and his wife. We\u2019ll introduce you to Rosaria Butterfield on Monday. Hope you can join us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, with special help from Justin Adams, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302815","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302815"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302815"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302815"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302815"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302815"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302815"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302815"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}