{"id":302810,"date":"2013-09-04T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-09-04T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-answer\/"},"modified":"2013-09-04T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-09-04T15:00:00","slug":"the-answer","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-answer\/","title":{"rendered":"The Answer"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sandy and Cheryl found a new life together in Christ after attending a Weekend to Remember.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-04.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.48M","filesize_raw":"25669234","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2863],"tags":[5096,4134,4623,4679],"podcast_series":[7419],"cwp_profile":[8980],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302810","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-saving-a-marriage","tag-hope","tag-life-change","tag-love-story","tag-salvation","podcast_series-love-renewed-after-shattered-dreams","cwp_profile-sandy-and-cheryl-spangler","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302810\/the-answer","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302810\/the-answer","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"EYackr0PrG\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-answer\/\">The Answer<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-answer\/embed\/#?secret=EYackr0PrG\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Answer&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"EYackr0PrG\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-04.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-04.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0When Sandy Spangler showed up at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway, he wasn\u2019t sure what to expect. But he sure didn't expect what he found.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 They were real people!\u00a0 Even though they were doing it God's way and trying to help us understand that there was a way to do it right, they were hilarious! They would talk about the dumb things that they had done in their lives and in their relationships. It's like no one had ever talked to me that way or shared truth with me that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, September 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Authentic and compelling speakers were not the only thing that took Sandy Spangler by surprise at the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway. We\u2019ll hear more of his story today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. It was more than two decades ago\u2014it was in 1989\u2014Columbus, Ohio, in the fall. We were hosting one of our FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways\u2014had hundreds of couples who had come to attend the weekend. We didn\u2019t know it, at the time; but there was a couple in the crowd\u2014Sandy and Cheryl Spangler\u2014who had already been to an attorney. They were planning to end their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey had gone to see a Christian counselor\u2014first, Cheryl\u2014and then, Sandy. At the Christian counselor\u2019s office, they\u2019d seen a poster for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. They decided\u2014Sandy, somewhat reluctantly\u2014that they would attend this weekend marriage conference. Really, the motivation was to be able to say: \u201cWell, we\u2019ve done all we can before we dissolve the marriage. We want to say we tried everything.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, we are hearing Sandy and Cheryl Spangler share about the work that God did in their marriage at that conference, back in 1989. The interview we\u2019re listening to this week is an interview that was recorded in 2005; but we\u2019ve decided to re-air it this week in honor of Cheryl Spangler who, earlier this year, went home to be with the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know that Cheryl would have wanted this to be a part of her ongoing testimony\u2014that God did a transforming work\u2014a redeeming work in her own life, and in her husband\u2019s life, and in their marriage. In fact, Sandy and Cheryl came to work with us, here at FamilyLife, about a decade ago, and devoted themselves full-time to this issue. They wanted marriages to stay together and people to understand God\u2019s purpose and plan for marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we pay tribute to Cheryl Spangler this week, we also want to let our listeners know that, this week and next week, you have an opportunity to sign up for a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway. We are going to be hosting these in about four dozen cities, all across the country, this fall. You can sign up this week or next week and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. It\u2019s a buy one\/get one free offer. You pay for yourself at the regular rate, and your spouse comes free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re interested in attending a weekend getaway\u2014where, together, you can learn God\u2019s design for marriage and, at the same time, have a fun, romantic weekend away together\u2014go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says \u201cWeekend to Remember\u201d. All the information you need about when a getaway is happening in a city near where you live can be found online. You can register online. If you do, just make sure you type my name\u2014type \u201cBOB\u201d\u2014in the online promotion code box. That will qualify you for this special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can register over the phone. Just mention that you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and you\u2019d like to take advantage of the special offer. If you have any questions, we\u2019re happy to answer those for you\u2014again, at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here is Part Three of our conversation with Sandy and Cheryl Spangler\u2014who, at this point in their story, have already experienced their first night at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014and it is Saturday morning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I wanted to ask, as you started Saturday, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, where did you sit in the ballroom on Saturday morning?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think about halfway up, as I remember.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You moved up a little bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 About halfway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, you\u2019ve seen this at the conference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Couples start on the back row; and by the end of the conference, some of them have found their way to the front row.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right. Well, and what I wanted to know\u2014Sandy, you'd already said that if this thing got too preachy, you were out of there. Friday night\u2014we try to keep things from being real confrontational or\u2014we, actually, don't get into a lot of what the Bible has to teach about marriage on Friday night. We talk about what causes a marriage to disintegrate\u2014Friday night.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut come Saturday morning, one of the first questions we look at is, \u201cWhat's the purpose for marriage?\u201d We start talking, right away, about God's design for the marriage relationship. By this time, 8:30 on Saturday morning, we're starting to talk pretty candidly about God. Were you thinking: \"Okay, here is where it comes\u2014I'm getting out of here soon,\"?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I have to say, at that point in time, it was on my mind; but it was just that Friday night was so real, and it was so honest, and it did have some hope. So, I was willing to take a chance on the God that they were talking about\u2014at least, to listen. I wasn't buying into this yet, but I was willing to listen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I do think one of the things that sets the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> apart is that, even when we do talk about God and the Bible, we talk about it in a way that is, again, pretty real and pretty\u2014it doesn't feel like you're getting preached at.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it's highly personal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Each of the speakers are sharing out of their own lives\u2014their own journey. Our speaker team is made up of a very diverse group of people who are authentic, and real, and who are meant to share about their own relationship with God, out of the Scriptures, but definitely from their own experience, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, again, when we started things off Saturday morning\u2014talking about the fact that God's purpose for marriage is that: we would mirror His image, we would mutually complete one another, we would multiply a godly legacy\u2014and then, we talk about the fact that all marriages--there is an opposing force\u2014that there's an enemy\u2014that Satan is attacking marriages. That's pretty straightforward.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWere you open to some of these things that we were talking about on Saturday morning? Do you remember, Cheryl, when we started talking about Satan, were you going, \"I never thought\u2014maybe, that's a factor here.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did. I was really hanging on every word that the speakers were saying. They just had captivated me. I was just there listening to everything. I didn't want to miss anything. I was laughing, and I was crying. It just was such a range of emotion for me. I didn't want to miss any of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was listening to you describe that\u2014and I was thinking: \u201cThat's what you'd expect from somebody who goes to church a lot and who has a walk with Christ\u2014but neither one of you were Christians. You didn't have an experience in church on a regular basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Had you been to church, at all, in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 We got married in a church. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 We got married in a church, and I went to church for a little while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But for most of the period, Sunday morning was\u2014read the paper and sleep late; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Time to rest or work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The conference had to be an interesting experience because, as Bob says, starting on Saturday morning\u2014it's like drinking from a spiritual fire hydrant.\u00a0 I've had people describe it that way. You just have this incredible deluge of truth that's practical\u2014that's authentic. How did you handle it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, it's a lot like what you said before\u2014they were real people.\u00a0 Even though they were doing it God's way and trying to help us understand that there was a way to do it right, they were hilarious! I mean, they would talk about the dumb things that they had done in their lives and in their relationships. It's like no one had ever talked to me that way or shared truth with me that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can sense, even as we're talking about it now, that things were starting to soften in your own hearts. You were hearing what the speakers were saying and acknowledging some of your own mistakes. You weren't pointing at each other and saying, \"Oh, it's all you!\" You were starting to say, \"Boy, I've done some things wrong here.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I know one of the things we ask couples to do on Saturday morning is to write a love letter to each other. Now, for a couple that has not had very many civil conversations for the last five years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And for an electrical contractor\u2014a love letter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did that project go over?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That may have been the most difficult thing that I've ever done in my life. [Emotion in voice] I had never written a love letter to anyone, but the amazing thing was that I really loved her. I didn't know how to express it. I didn't know how to say it; but when I sat down to write it, I could write it. That was a big turning point for me because I didn't think I had it in me to love someone because I didn't want to be hurt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember the dinner where he read you his love letter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 We had, actually, gone to dinner and spent more time talking than we had the first eight years of our marriage. We just talked about a lot of things\u2014mostly, just about what we were learning at the conference because, for me, it was all brand-new. I had never heard any of that before. After dinner, we went back to the hotel room. It was then that we shared our letters with each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So who started? Who did it first?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sandy did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I did do it first; and I was scared to death. I was afraid that she would laugh. I was afraid that she'd reject me, but I did. I wanted her to know how I felt. So, I did\u2014I read the letter\u2014and I was amazed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 He had a hard time reading the letter. He, really, spent a lot of time in tears and just trying to compose himself so he could finish the letter. At the same time, I was in tears, as well. God was really doing something in our lives. By that night, we were two broken people. I shared my letter with him, as well; and we were committed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 The interesting part, at that point in time, is\u2014I really had no idea what to do. [Emotion in voice] I really didn't, but I must have seen it somewhere or heard it somewhere. So, I said to Cheryl\u2014I said: \"I don't know if it's true what they're saying; but if what the speakers are saying is true, and that this God that they've talked about can salvage our marriage and can save our kids, then, I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I think we should get down on our knees and pray and ask Him to do that.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn't know what to do, but that's what we did. That's really pretty much it. We just knelt beside the bed and said, \"God, if You can do what they say You can do, then whatever it takes, from this point on, we're committed. We want You to be part of our marriage and to help us raise our kids. Whatever You ask of us, from this point on, we'll be willing to do, if You can do that.\" We had no idea what that meant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Cheryl, what were you feeling, kneeling beside a bed, with your contractor husband, who has just poured his heart out before you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was the most\u2014happiest woman in the world because I think our relationship had been so superficial that I was finally getting to know the man that I really married. We were sharing things with one another and we were being honest. There just wasn\u2019t anything that would make me happier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You had just heard him express, in a letter, things that your soul had been longing to hear for eight years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We asked you, if you wouldn't mind, to bring in your manuals, where you wrote those letters, back in 1989. Let\u2019s do it in the order that it happened, back then. Would you mind, Sandy, reading for our listeners to hear, what you wrote to Cheryl that night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure, I'd be glad to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dearest Cheryl, I am so glad you came into my life. I am also so glad you were strong enough to make me realize I needed\u2014 well, we needed some help to make our marriage work. Probably, one of the wisest things we could have done was go through this weekend together, as we have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI, especially, needed this time to bare my soul to you and to God so I can make an attempt to continue with my life in a direction that suits me and is best for God. I hope you can understand how difficult this is for me and how important it is for us to work together for I realize, now, I can't handle it alone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to close now because I can't seem to see through the tears, but I hope you will always know how much I love you and how much I want to work to make this marriage work. I do love you. Sandy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow. Do you remember when he read that to you? He was weeping his way through it as he read it; wasn\u2019t he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was. It, actually, took him a long time to complete the whole letter. He stopped a number of times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But when he said twice\u2014there at the end: \u201c\u2026I love you\u2026 I do love you,\u201d it had been a long time since you\u2019d heard that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 It had been.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What did you write to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDear Sandy, when we first met, the qualities that attracted me most to you was your carefree attitude. You never seemed to worry about things; and if you did, not for long. That was just the opposite of me. I thought you would rub off on me. You were fun-loving, and you made me feel important. We talked a lot, at first, and I thought it was great.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I started to get to know you better, you were impatient with me and others around you. I had a hard time accepting that but I need to. I also must remember not to take things personally. I have my faults. You know them by now\u2014especially, my directions. [I got us lost on the way to the conference.] You are starting to accept that aspect, but my so-called un-organization is not on purpose. I don\u2019t think you accept me for that. I guess I\u2019m just a little frazzled but I\u2019m trying\u2014at least, since I\u2019ve been off work. I know there are no guarantees. All I can say is: \u201cI\u2019ll try.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe last thing I\u2019d like to say is that I respect you, now. It has been a long time coming\u2014I realize\u2014but I do. I believe in you, and I believe there is hope for you and I. I couldn\u2019t say that a year ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we have come a long way this weekend. We still have so far to go, but there is a lifetime to do it in. I want our marriage to be good for us and our kids. I hope they can look back and think that we were good role models\u2014so, we have a lot of catching up to do. In closing, I want to say that my love for you, now, is unconditional. I will work hard to continue that love. Yours forever. Love, Cheryl\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow! You know, there is something about couples expressing to one another what we don't express to one another often enough. I think, not only does God delight in that, but God goes to work in the midst of that kind of conversation and begins to do a transforming work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, the power of a well-spoken word is beyond description\u2014just as the power of a negative word\u2014a harmful word\u2014brings death and destruction. As we have heard this week, when Jesus Christ enters a couple's life\u2014their marriage, their family\u2014He can bring about a new day, hope\u2014a resurrection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe issue is, \u201cWill we take Him at His Word and will we embrace it, together, because it takes two to make a great marriage.\u201d There has to be couples\u2014with marriages like Sandy and Cheryl\u2014who were on the brink of divorce. There are others who have marriages that definitely need some remodeling\u2014refurbishing. And there are some marriages that are good marriages\u2014that they just need to make them better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is a great life-changing weekend is not because of the speakers\u2014although, they are great\u2014it's not because of the hotels\u2014they're wonderful\u2014but it's because the conference is based upon the Scriptures <em>and<\/em> the God that we speak about is alive. He is alive, and the tomb is empty. Jesus Christ <em>can<\/em> change lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The drive back from Columbus to Cleveland had to be different than the drive from Cleveland to Columbus; wasn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes\u2014actually, we were excited to get home. [Emotion in voice] We wanted to share what we'd found with the kids. That was an interesting Sunday evening. We gathered Matthew and Michelle around the table. We sat down, and we tried to explain to them, in words, what we'd found\u2014hope. We realized that we had some tools that we didn\u2019t even know were possible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we began to share with them about that, Michelle was so excited! She was just\u2014anything that could stop the arguing and the screaming\u2014she was just really excited about that time. It was a great evening.\u00a0 Matthew was not as receptive. Matthew was 15. His response was one that said, \"You'll really have to <em>prove<\/em> this God that you're talking about to me because I'm not buying it.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say\u2014mostly, what I remember is the fact that we were two different people. We left and went to the conference one way, and we came back totally different. I think, just for our kids to see us and be around us, they knew that something had happened. There were a lot of years of bitterness and anger that was melted away on that Saturday night at the conference. So, Sunday, we had hope like we never had before. We had everything that we needed to do it right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we talked about the fact that you can't undo eight years in a weekend. There was still work to be done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was. We still spent the next year-and-a-half, actually, dating. We started all over again. He would call me at work and ask me out on a date. We really focused on each other for the next year-and-a-half as we put things back together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust within a few months of the conference\u2014it was in a Homebuilders\u00ae group\u2014we had a couple from our church\u2014we had found a church and we had started going in that time\u2014and asked them if they would lead this Homebuilders for us to be in, and they agreed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That just helped reinforce everything you\u2019d heard at the conference, and keep it fresh, and keep it right in front of you. But your kids had to see\u2014over the course of the next year-and-a-half \/ two years\u2014that God really had done a work in Mom and Dad\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What would Matthew say today?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think what he would tell you is that that may have been the first time in his life that he felt safe\u2014as he began to see that what we said was what we were going to do. We were not going to go back. We made mistakes\u2014and we didn't do everything right in that first year-and-a-half\u2014and we still make mistakes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a new day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was. He was just\u2014I wish he could be here to tell you. He would say that his life changed that day and that he felt safe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was years later until he came to Christ; but today, he is, actually, an elder in his church. So, the legacy that we have is just incredible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow. You know, we don\u2019t stop and think about how a decision we make today can affect, not just our lives, but our legacies. Generations to come are affected by the choices we make. To hear Cheryl Spangler reflect on her legacy\u2014in 2005, as we\u2019ve listened to Part Three of our interview with Sandy and Cheryl today\u2014it\u2019s even more poignant because, earlier this year, God called Cheryl home. She had a prolonged battle with cancer that she lost, earlier this year. We wanted to pay tribute to Cheryl for her years of service, here at FamilyLife, as a co-laborer with us. The best way we knew to pay tribute was to share God\u2019s redeeming work in her life, and in her marriage to Sandy, and how God used the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>mightily in their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s one of the reasons why, this week and next week, we are making available a special offer to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners. If you\u2019d like to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway\u2014if you sign up this week or next week\u2014you can save 50 percent off the registration fee. You pay full rate for your registration; your spouse attends for free. It\u2019s a buy one\/get one free offer that we\u2019re making. The offer is good only for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners, and it\u2019s good only this week and next week. We need to hear from you by next Sunday if you want to take advantage of this offer. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can register, online, if you\u2019d like. If you do, all you have to remember is to put my name\u2014just type \u201cBOB\u201d\u2014in the promotional code box you see there. That will qualify you for the special offer. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. We\u2019ll answer any questions you have. You can register over the phone if you\u2019d like. When you do, mention you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>and you want to take advantage of the special offer. Just say, \u201cBob told me to call.\u201d Again, you\u2019ll qualify for the buy one\/ get one free opportunity. Save 50 percent on your registration fee. We need to hear from you this week or next week if you want to take advantage of this special offer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to visit the house of mourning, as Ecclesiastes tells us to do. We\u2019re going to take you to the memorial service for Cheryl Spangler, earlier this year. You\u2019ll get a chance to hear a son pay tribute to his mother. So, I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.48M"],"filesize_raw":["25669234"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302810.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302810.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Cheryl found a new life together in Christ after attending a Weekend to Remember.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0When Sandy Spangler showed up at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway, he wasn\u2019t sure what to expect. But he sure didn't expect what he found.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 They were real people!\u00a0 Even though they were doing it God's way and trying to help us understand that there was a way to do it right, they were hilarious! They would talk about the dumb things that they had done in their lives and in their relationships. It's like no one had ever talked to me that way or shared truth with me that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, September 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Authentic and compelling speakers were not the only thing that took Sandy Spangler by surprise at the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway. We\u2019ll hear more of his story today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. It was more than two decades ago\u2014it was in 1989\u2014Columbus, Ohio, in the fall. We were hosting one of our FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways\u2014had hundreds of couples who had come to attend the weekend. We didn\u2019t know it, at the time; but there was a couple in the crowd\u2014Sandy and Cheryl Spangler\u2014who had already been to an attorney. They were planning to end their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey had gone to see a Christian counselor\u2014first, Cheryl\u2014and then, Sandy. At the Christian counselor\u2019s office, they\u2019d seen a poster for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. They decided\u2014Sandy, somewhat reluctantly\u2014that they would attend this weekend marriage conference. Really, the motivation was to be able to say: \u201cWell, we\u2019ve done all we can before we dissolve the marriage. We want to say we tried everything.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, we are hearing Sandy and Cheryl Spangler share about the work that God did in their marriage at that conference, back in 1989. The interview we\u2019re listening to this week is an interview that was recorded in 2005; but we\u2019ve decided to re-air it this week in honor of Cheryl Spangler who, earlier this year, went home to be with the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know that Cheryl would have wanted this to be a part of her ongoing testimony\u2014that God did a transforming work\u2014a redeeming work in her own life, and in her husband\u2019s life, and in their marriage. In fact, Sandy and Cheryl came to work with us, here at FamilyLife, about a decade ago, and devoted themselves full-time to this issue. They wanted marriages to stay together and people to understand God\u2019s purpose and plan for marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we pay tribute to Cheryl Spangler this week, we also want to let our listeners know that, this week and next week, you have an opportunity to sign up for a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway. We are going to be hosting these in about four dozen cities, all across the country, this fall. You can sign up this week or next week and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. It\u2019s a buy one\/get one free offer. You pay for yourself at the regular rate, and your spouse comes free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re interested in attending a weekend getaway\u2014where, together, you can learn God\u2019s design for marriage and, at the same time, have a fun, romantic weekend away together\u2014go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says \u201cWeekend to Remember\u201d. All the information you need about when a getaway is happening in a city near where you live can be found online. You can register online. If you do, just make sure you type my name\u2014type \u201cBOB\u201d\u2014in the online promotion code box. That will qualify you for this special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can register over the phone. Just mention that you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and you\u2019d like to take advantage of the special offer. If you have any questions, we\u2019re happy to answer those for you\u2014again, at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here is Part Three of our conversation with Sandy and Cheryl Spangler\u2014who, at this point in their story, have already experienced their first night at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014and it is Saturday morning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I wanted to ask, as you started Saturday, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, where did you sit in the ballroom on Saturday morning?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think about halfway up, as I remember.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You moved up a little bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 About halfway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, you\u2019ve seen this at the conference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Couples start on the back row; and by the end of the conference, some of them have found their way to the front row.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right. Well, and what I wanted to know\u2014Sandy, you'd already said that if this thing got too preachy, you were out of there. Friday night\u2014we try to keep things from being real confrontational or\u2014we, actually, don't get into a lot of what the Bible has to teach about marriage on Friday night. We talk about what causes a marriage to disintegrate\u2014Friday night.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut come Saturday morning, one of the first questions we look at is, \u201cWhat's the purpose for marriage?\u201d We start talking, right away, about God's design for the marriage relationship. By this time, 8:30 on Saturday morning, we're starting to talk pretty candidly about God. Were you thinking: \"Okay, here is where it comes\u2014I'm getting out of here soon,\"?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I have to say, at that point in time, it was on my mind; but it was just that Friday night was so real, and it was so honest, and it did have some hope. So, I was willing to take a chance on the God that they were talking about\u2014at least, to listen. I wasn't buying into this yet, but I was willing to listen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I do think one of the things that sets the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> apart is that, even when we do talk about God and the Bible, we talk about it in a way that is, again, pretty real and pretty\u2014it doesn't feel like you're getting preached at.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it's highly personal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Each of the speakers are sharing out of their own lives\u2014their own journey. Our speaker team is made up of a very diverse group of people who are authentic, and real, and who are meant to share about their own relationship with God, out of the Scriptures, but definitely from their own experience, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, again, when we started things off Saturday morning\u2014talking about the fact that God's purpose for marriage is that: we would mirror His image, we would mutually complete one another, we would multiply a godly legacy\u2014and then, we talk about the fact that all marriages--there is an opposing force\u2014that there's an enemy\u2014that Satan is attacking marriages. That's pretty straightforward.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWere you open to some of these things that we were talking about on Saturday morning? Do you remember, Cheryl, when we started talking about Satan, were you going, \"I never thought\u2014maybe, that's a factor here.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did. I was really hanging on every word that the speakers were saying. They just had captivated me. I was just there listening to everything. I didn't want to miss anything. I was laughing, and I was crying. It just was such a range of emotion for me. I didn't want to miss any of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was listening to you describe that\u2014and I was thinking: \u201cThat's what you'd expect from somebody who goes to church a lot and who has a walk with Christ\u2014but neither one of you were Christians. You didn't have an experience in church on a regular basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Had you been to church, at all, in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 We got married in a church. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 We got married in a church, and I went to church for a little while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But for most of the period, Sunday morning was\u2014read the paper and sleep late; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Time to rest or work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The conference had to be an interesting experience because, as Bob says, starting on Saturday morning\u2014it's like drinking from a spiritual fire hydrant.\u00a0 I've had people describe it that way. You just have this incredible deluge of truth that's practical\u2014that's authentic. How did you handle it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, it's a lot like what you said before\u2014they were real people.\u00a0 Even though they were doing it God's way and trying to help us understand that there was a way to do it right, they were hilarious! I mean, they would talk about the dumb things that they had done in their lives and in their relationships. It's like no one had ever talked to me that way or shared truth with me that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can sense, even as we're talking about it now, that things were starting to soften in your own hearts. You were hearing what the speakers were saying and acknowledging some of your own mistakes. You weren't pointing at each other and saying, \"Oh, it's all you!\" You were starting to say, \"Boy, I've done some things wrong here.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I know one of the things we ask couples to do on Saturday morning is to write a love letter to each other. Now, for a couple that has not had very many civil conversations for the last five years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And for an electrical contractor\u2014a love letter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did that project go over?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That may have been the most difficult thing that I've ever done in my life. [Emotion in voice] I had never written a love letter to anyone, but the amazing thing was that I really loved her. I didn't know how to express it. I didn't know how to say it; but when I sat down to write it, I could write it. That was a big turning point for me because I didn't think I had it in me to love someone because I didn't want to be hurt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember the dinner where he read you his love letter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 We had, actually, gone to dinner and spent more time talking than we had the first eight years of our marriage. We just talked about a lot of things\u2014mostly, just about what we were learning at the conference because, for me, it was all brand-new. I had never heard any of that before. After dinner, we went back to the hotel room. It was then that we shared our letters with each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So who started? Who did it first?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sandy did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I did do it first; and I was scared to death. I was afraid that she would laugh. I was afraid that she'd reject me, but I did. I wanted her to know how I felt. So, I did\u2014I read the letter\u2014and I was amazed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 He had a hard time reading the letter. He, really, spent a lot of time in tears and just trying to compose himself so he could finish the letter. At the same time, I was in tears, as well. God was really doing something in our lives. By that night, we were two broken people. I shared my letter with him, as well; and we were committed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 The interesting part, at that point in time, is\u2014I really had no idea what to do. [Emotion in voice] I really didn't, but I must have seen it somewhere or heard it somewhere. So, I said to Cheryl\u2014I said: \"I don't know if it's true what they're saying; but if what the speakers are saying is true, and that this God that they've talked about can salvage our marriage and can save our kids, then, I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I think we should get down on our knees and pray and ask Him to do that.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn't know what to do, but that's what we did. That's really pretty much it. We just knelt beside the bed and said, \"God, if You can do what they say You can do, then whatever it takes, from this point on, we're committed. We want You to be part of our marriage and to help us raise our kids. Whatever You ask of us, from this point on, we'll be willing to do, if You can do that.\" We had no idea what that meant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Cheryl, what were you feeling, kneeling beside a bed, with your contractor husband, who has just poured his heart out before you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was the most\u2014happiest woman in the world because I think our relationship had been so superficial that I was finally getting to know the man that I really married. We were sharing things with one another and we were being honest. There just wasn\u2019t anything that would make me happier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You had just heard him express, in a letter, things that your soul had been longing to hear for eight years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We asked you, if you wouldn't mind, to bring in your manuals, where you wrote those letters, back in 1989. Let\u2019s do it in the order that it happened, back then. Would you mind, Sandy, reading for our listeners to hear, what you wrote to Cheryl that night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure, I'd be glad to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dearest Cheryl, I am so glad you came into my life. I am also so glad you were strong enough to make me realize I needed\u2014 well, we needed some help to make our marriage work. Probably, one of the wisest things we could have done was go through this weekend together, as we have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI, especially, needed this time to bare my soul to you and to God so I can make an attempt to continue with my life in a direction that suits me and is best for God. I hope you can understand how difficult this is for me and how important it is for us to work together for I realize, now, I can't handle it alone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to close now because I can't seem to see through the tears, but I hope you will always know how much I love you and how much I want to work to make this marriage work. I do love you. Sandy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow. Do you remember when he read that to you? He was weeping his way through it as he read it; wasn\u2019t he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was. It, actually, took him a long time to complete the whole letter. He stopped a number of times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But when he said twice\u2014there at the end: \u201c\u2026I love you\u2026 I do love you,\u201d it had been a long time since you\u2019d heard that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 It had been.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What did you write to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDear Sandy, when we first met, the qualities that attracted me most to you was your carefree attitude. You never seemed to worry about things; and if you did, not for long. That was just the opposite of me. I thought you would rub off on me. You were fun-loving, and you made me feel important. We talked a lot, at first, and I thought it was great.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I started to get to know you better, you were impatient with me and others around you. I had a hard time accepting that but I need to. I also must remember not to take things personally. I have my faults. You know them by now\u2014especially, my directions. [I got us lost on the way to the conference.] You are starting to accept that aspect, but my so-called un-organization is not on purpose. I don\u2019t think you accept me for that. I guess I\u2019m just a little frazzled but I\u2019m trying\u2014at least, since I\u2019ve been off work. I know there are no guarantees. All I can say is: \u201cI\u2019ll try.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe last thing I\u2019d like to say is that I respect you, now. It has been a long time coming\u2014I realize\u2014but I do. I believe in you, and I believe there is hope for you and I. I couldn\u2019t say that a year ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we have come a long way this weekend. We still have so far to go, but there is a lifetime to do it in. I want our marriage to be good for us and our kids. I hope they can look back and think that we were good role models\u2014so, we have a lot of catching up to do. In closing, I want to say that my love for you, now, is unconditional. I will work hard to continue that love. Yours forever. Love, Cheryl\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow! You know, there is something about couples expressing to one another what we don't express to one another often enough. I think, not only does God delight in that, but God goes to work in the midst of that kind of conversation and begins to do a transforming work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, the power of a well-spoken word is beyond description\u2014just as the power of a negative word\u2014a harmful word\u2014brings death and destruction. As we have heard this week, when Jesus Christ enters a couple's life\u2014their marriage, their family\u2014He can bring about a new day, hope\u2014a resurrection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe issue is, \u201cWill we take Him at His Word and will we embrace it, together, because it takes two to make a great marriage.\u201d There has to be couples\u2014with marriages like Sandy and Cheryl\u2014who were on the brink of divorce. There are others who have marriages that definitely need some remodeling\u2014refurbishing. And there are some marriages that are good marriages\u2014that they just need to make them better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is a great life-changing weekend is not because of the speakers\u2014although, they are great\u2014it's not because of the hotels\u2014they're wonderful\u2014but it's because the conference is based upon the Scriptures <em>and<\/em> the God that we speak about is alive. He is alive, and the tomb is empty. Jesus Christ <em>can<\/em> change lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The drive back from Columbus to Cleveland had to be different than the drive from Cleveland to Columbus; wasn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes\u2014actually, we were excited to get home. [Emotion in voice] We wanted to share what we'd found with the kids. That was an interesting Sunday evening. We gathered Matthew and Michelle around the table. We sat down, and we tried to explain to them, in words, what we'd found\u2014hope. We realized that we had some tools that we didn\u2019t even know were possible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we began to share with them about that, Michelle was so excited! She was just\u2014anything that could stop the arguing and the screaming\u2014she was just really excited about that time. It was a great evening.\u00a0 Matthew was not as receptive. Matthew was 15. His response was one that said, \"You'll really have to <em>prove<\/em> this God that you're talking about to me because I'm not buying it.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say\u2014mostly, what I remember is the fact that we were two different people. We left and went to the conference one way, and we came back totally different. I think, just for our kids to see us and be around us, they knew that something had happened. There were a lot of years of bitterness and anger that was melted away on that Saturday night at the conference. So, Sunday, we had hope like we never had before. We had everything that we needed to do it right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we talked about the fact that you can't undo eight years in a weekend. There was still work to be done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was. We still spent the next year-and-a-half, actually, dating. We started all over again. He would call me at work and ask me out on a date. We really focused on each other for the next year-and-a-half as we put things back together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust within a few months of the conference\u2014it was in a Homebuilders\u00ae group\u2014we had a couple from our church\u2014we had found a church and we had started going in that time\u2014and asked them if they would lead this Homebuilders for us to be in, and they agreed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That just helped reinforce everything you\u2019d heard at the conference, and keep it fresh, and keep it right in front of you. But your kids had to see\u2014over the course of the next year-and-a-half \/ two years\u2014that God really had done a work in Mom and Dad\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What would Matthew say today?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think what he would tell you is that that may have been the first time in his life that he felt safe\u2014as he began to see that what we said was what we were going to do. We were not going to go back. We made mistakes\u2014and we didn't do everything right in that first year-and-a-half\u2014and we still make mistakes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a new day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was. He was just\u2014I wish he could be here to tell you. He would say that his life changed that day and that he felt safe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was years later until he came to Christ; but today, he is, actually, an elder in his church. So, the legacy that we have is just incredible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow. You know, we don\u2019t stop and think about how a decision we make today can affect, not just our lives, but our legacies. Generations to come are affected by the choices we make. To hear Cheryl Spangler reflect on her legacy\u2014in 2005, as we\u2019ve listened to Part Three of our interview with Sandy and Cheryl today\u2014it\u2019s even more poignant because, earlier this year, God called Cheryl home. She had a prolonged battle with cancer that she lost, earlier this year. We wanted to pay tribute to Cheryl for her years of service, here at FamilyLife, as a co-laborer with us. The best way we knew to pay tribute was to share God\u2019s redeeming work in her life, and in her marriage to Sandy, and how God used the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>mightily in their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s one of the reasons why, this week and next week, we are making available a special offer to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners. If you\u2019d like to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway\u2014if you sign up this week or next week\u2014you can save 50 percent off the registration fee. You pay full rate for your registration; your spouse attends for free. It\u2019s a buy one\/get one free offer that we\u2019re making. The offer is good only for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners, and it\u2019s good only this week and next week. We need to hear from you by next Sunday if you want to take advantage of this offer. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can register, online, if you\u2019d like. If you do, all you have to remember is to put my name\u2014just type \u201cBOB\u201d\u2014in the promotional code box you see there. That will qualify you for the special offer. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. We\u2019ll answer any questions you have. You can register over the phone if you\u2019d like. When you do, mention you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>and you want to take advantage of the special offer. Just say, \u201cBob told me to call.\u201d Again, you\u2019ll qualify for the buy one\/ get one free opportunity. Save 50 percent on your registration fee. We need to hear from you this week or next week if you want to take advantage of this special offer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to visit the house of mourning, as Ecclesiastes tells us to do. We\u2019re going to take you to the memorial service for Cheryl Spangler, earlier this year. You\u2019ll get a chance to hear a son pay tribute to his mother. So, I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. 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