{"id":302808,"date":"2013-09-02T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-09-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/our-marriage-dreams-were-broken\/"},"modified":"2013-09-02T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-09-02T15:00:00","slug":"our-marriage-dreams-were-broken","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/our-marriage-dreams-were-broken\/","title":{"rendered":"Our Marriage Dreams Were Broken"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hear how God changed their hearts and their marriage one attitude at a time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-02.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"38.1M","filesize_raw":"39945514","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2863],"tags":[4623],"podcast_series":[7419],"cwp_profile":[8980],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302808","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-saving-a-marriage","tag-love-story","podcast_series-love-renewed-after-shattered-dreams","cwp_profile-sandy-and-cheryl-spangler","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302808\/our-marriage-dreams-were-broken","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302808\/our-marriage-dreams-were-broken","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"kXOxtyNbNV\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/our-marriage-dreams-were-broken\/\">Our Marriage Dreams Were Broken<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/our-marriage-dreams-were-broken\/embed\/#?secret=kXOxtyNbNV\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Our Marriage Dreams Were Broken&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"kXOxtyNbNV\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-02.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-02.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sandy and Cheryl Spangler began their marriage with a lot of hope, without a plan, and things quickly began to unravel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I thought I was the normal-type guy, you know. I worked construction pretty much my entire life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> He would stop after work\u2014most evenings\u2014and I would go straight home from work and get dinner ready.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> You get done with a hard day's work, and you stop at the bar, and you have a couple of drinks. Just because you're married doesn't mean anything. I mean, that's the way it's supposed to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Responsibilities\u2014I think that was the big thing for me. All of a sudden, I need somebody to be responsible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> When your wife, of a year, tells you that you're a drunk and you need to start taking responsibility, then everything inside you says, \"It's her\u2014\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> You know, we're going to have a child pretty soon\u2014and just trying to figure out life and go through life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> \u201c\u2014it's not me. She just doesn't understand how it's supposed to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> He just didn't seem to be there, and it just went downhill from there. Our first wedding anniversary\u2014we were separated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, September 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What do you hold onto, in a marriage, when it seems like all hope is gone?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. Today, we\u2019re going to go back and listen to an interview\u2014that was done a number of years ago\u2014with some friends of ours, Sandy and Cheryl Spangler. Sandy and Cheryl have been on staff at FamilyLife for a number of years. Prior to coming here and joining with us, Sandy worked in construction. Cheryl was a registered nurse. God did a remarkable work in their lives and in their marriage at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the reasons we wanted to air the interview with Sandy and Cheryl this week is to pay tribute to Cheryl\u2014who, earlier this year, went home to be with the Lord. After a prolonged battle with cancer, God called her home. We wanted to honor her life, her service, and her memory by sharing a story that she would want you to hear today if she were still alive to share it with you. It\u2019s a powerful story of God\u2019s transforming work in a couple\u2019s life. It all started at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week and next week, here at FamilyLife, our team is making available a special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners who would like to register for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. If you\u2019d like to join us for one of these two-and-a-half day getaways\u2014that we do in cities all around the country\u2014these are getaways for married couples or for engaged couples\u2014to hear about God\u2019s plan for your marriage relationship. It\u2019s a great two-and-a-half day getaway. If you\u2019d like to join us, you can sign up this week or next week. When you register yourself, your spouse comes free. It\u2019s a buy one\/get one offer for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou save 50 percent on the registration rate when you call this week or next week. If you\u2019re registering online, you need to type my name\u2014you need to type \u201cBOB\u201d\u2014into the promotion code box in order to qualify for this special offer; or simply call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say: \u201cI listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>;and I\u2019d like more information about the getaway,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019d like to sign up for one that is coming to a city near where we live.\u201d When you do, you will save 50 percent off the regular registration fee; alright? So, we\u2019d love to hear from you. We hope you and your spouse will plan to join us for a <em>Weekend to Remember.<\/em> Again, find our more at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, let\u2019s listen back to a great conversation with a great couple. Here\u2019s our conversation with Sandy and Cheryl Spangler.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s take a moment and go all the way back to the beginning of your relationship. Share with us how you guys met.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> We met in a bar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What were you doing in a bar?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> I went to dinner with my parents. I had just broken off an engagement. You know, I was not a believer at the time and decided to go to dinner with my parents to a Moose Club. My parents were there, the night before, for dinner, as well, because it was a great place to go for dinner. They had met him, and talked to him, and liked him. My mom thought that we should meet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How old were you at the time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Twenty-two. I was a nurse and I had to go to work that night. So, I kind of left early. I had given him my phone number, and I didn\u2019t know if he would call or not; but he actually\u2014I so impressed him that he forgot my name! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I remembered your name\u2014I forgot your telephone number!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you know you were getting set up by her parents when all of this was happening? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> No, I didn\u2019t have any idea at that time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What were you doing at the Moose Club?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Drinking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were how old?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I was 30.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The two of you meet in these circumstances. You give the phone number and you don\u2019t hear from him because he forgot the phone number. What happened next?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> The next thing I knew\u2014I guess it was about a week later\u2014I went back with my parents. He ended up there again\u2014we ended up dating after that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You hung out at the Moose Club pretty regularly?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Oh, yes, I spent a lot of time in those places. I was also in the middle of a divorce, and I wasn\u2019t really looking for a relationship. I thought it would just be fun to hang out, and she was a pretty gal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Red hair\u2014I was attracted to her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And neither one of you were Christians at the time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> No, no. My goodness, no, we were\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Far from it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> \u2014a long way from Christianity, at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you know that he was ending a marriage? You learned that fairly quickly; didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Fairly quickly. We had spent some time talking that evening, and he had kind of explained his past to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Were there any children involved?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Yes, I had a son, Matthew, from my first marriage. At that point in time, he was five. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you explained it fairly early-on. I mean, this was your first or second date that you were kind of laying out, \u201cHere\u2019s what life\u2019s been like for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> In some ways, I thought, maybe, it might scare her off. I think I was hoping for that, in all honesty. I really wasn\u2019t looking for a relationship. I had grown up in the Rock Age and had gotten involved with alcohol and with drugs. I spent a year in Vietnam and actually became a heroin addict. I came back and kicked that habit but stayed with alcohol. At that point in my life, I was a pretty severe alcoholic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you realize, at that point, that you were an alcoholic?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I wouldn\u2019t admit it; but as I look back on it now, I knew that I was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I just didn\u2019t want to come out and say that I was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, how long did you date?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> We met in March, and started to date right away, and saw each other very frequently. I was still at home. I moved out in August and moved into an apartment\u2014we moved in together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was there anything in the back of your mind saying, \"Gee, is this the right thing to do?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I think I knew that it wasn\u2019t the right thing to do, but it was comfortable. I mean, really, for me, it was a comfortable place to be. I had somebody to be with and somebody to share my life with. There were, at that point, really no strings attached. I don\u2019t think that either one of us ever expected that we would someday get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, why did you get married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> I became pregnant\u2014and so just felt like that was the right thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you want to get married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> At that point, no. It was just an okay thing to do. It was convenience. It wasn\u2019t like there was this romance or this real commitment\u2014it was just the right thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> We really did like each other. I mean, we had a great time. Our relationship was a lot of fun\u2014we had a blast! But it wasn\u2019t a relationship that was really based on anything. It was just based on emotions and having fun together. I was okay with that. If it meant we had to get married, \u201cOkay, we can get married.\u201d Cheryl had a good job; and I had a good job, at that point in time. It seemed like the right thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, most little girls grow up dreaming of the day when the handsome young man will get down on one knee and will propose\u2014and she'll say, \"Yes,\u201d\u2014and they'll embrace. They dream of that moment. You tell him you're pregnant, he says, \"Well, I guess we ought to get married,\" and that's all you got. Did you feel a loss?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Very much so\u2014I think, for the first eight years of our marriage\u2014I think that was part of our struggle because there was\u2014there were just a lot of things that were missing. It just changes the way you relate to each other. I didn\u2019t feel appreciated, or honored, or esteemed, in any way, from him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you go to the courthouse to get married? Did you go to a church to get married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> We went to a church. I was six months\u2019 pregnant when we got married. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you said that, in the time that you were living together, your relationship was fine. You were having a good time\u2014you were enjoying each other\u2019s company. You\u2019re saying, after the wedding, things changed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Oh, very much so because, when you're living together, you're playing house. You're pretending. You're not the person that you really are. Even though you\u2019re living together, you may see some of their faults but you don\u2019t really see their faults. Things changed, dramatically, after we got married. Not that he was a lot different, even though he was different, but I was, also, a lot different once we got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> When you're living together, it's like you can walk out anytime you want to. Even though we were living together, I could do anything that I wanted to do; and I did. Then, when you become married, everything changes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You're not free anymore; are you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> You're not free: \u201cWell, you can't practice with the band, four nights a week. You need to be home with me because we have a relationship.\u201d My response was: \u201cWe had a relationship before. What has changed?\u201d\u00a0 Everything changed for me; and, I must admit, I didn't really like it a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> For me, all the guilt of living with somebody, and getting pregnant, and then, you get married because you have to\u2014you still don't feel that there is any security there because, \u201cThis man just married me because I was pregnant.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How long into the marriage before you started experiencing conflict? Was it a week\u2014a month\u2014six months?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> The day of.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The day of the marriage?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> The day of the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell me about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I like to cook\u2014I like to cater. I like to play in the band. I like being in the middle of everything. So, the day we got married, I put myself in the middle of everything that was going on, as far as the reception\u2014and forgot that I was getting married that day. So, when they needed to do pictures, and all of the other stuff that is so important for a bride, I didn\u2019t make myself available, like I should have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI look back on that day, now, and I think to myself, \u201cHow could anyone be that stupid?\u201d \u2014or that selfish, I guess you might say. But that set the tone for what our marriage was going to be like for the next eight years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Cheryl, you rolled your eyes a bit as he started reliving that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Oh, do I remember\u2014like it was yesterday! It was\u2014it was a real struggle. It just went downhill from there. Our first wedding anniversary\u2014we were separated. We were living apart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What caused a couple to go from a happy-go-lucky, living-together relationship to a wedding, where there's tension to a point\u2014where a year later\u2014you go, \"I don't want you around.\"\u00a0 What happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Responsibilities\u2014I think that was the big thing, for me. All of a sudden, I need somebody to be responsible. \u201cWe're going to have a child pretty soon,\u201d\u2014and just trying to figure out life and go through life\u2014he just didn't seem to be there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was alcohol an issue, at this point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Very much so because he would stop after work\u2014most evenings\u2014and I would go straight home from work and get dinner ready.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I thought I was the normal-type guy. You know, I worked construction. When you get done, with a hard day's work, you stop at the bar, and you have a couple of drinks. Just because you're married doesn't mean anything. I mean, \u201cThat's the way it's supposed to be.\u201d When your wife, of a year, tells you that you're a drunk and you need to start taking responsibility, then, everything inside you says, \"It's her\u2014it's not me. She just doesn't understand how it's supposed to be.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the reasons that Cheryl married me was because I was a hard-worker. I was. I like to work!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I want to be clear on this, as well. You know, we've talked about the shortcomings of your husband here; but I'm guessing, that if we looked back at that first year, objectively, there were probably a few things you were doing to contribute to the disharmony in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, Bob, she's a redhead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I understand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> That's right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I would just\u2014if I had to guess\u2014maybe, you expressed your anger pretty openly?\u00a0 Maybe, you tried to adjust his behavior and control him a little more than you should have?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Oh, that would be correct. I would voice my anger very loudly, too. I knew how to push his buttons; and so, I became very good at it. I wouldn\u2019t blame him a bit for not wanting to come home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> That happened several times\u2014where I would go back and say: \"You know\u2014I made some mistakes. I really need to do something about stopping at the bars. I'll stop\u2014I'll quit that. That won't be something that I'll do from now on. I'll make some adjustments. You'll see\u2014it will be fine.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> His promises would last about two weeks. Then, he would be right back to where he was. Then, I would be screaming. It would just\u2014the cycle would start all over again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, there are a lot of folks, who are listening, who go, \u201cThis sounds too close to home.\u201d Maybe, they lived through it or they\u2019re living through it, right now, as they hear you describe the story. How long did this go on, in your marriage\u2014this crazy, ongoing cycle of: \u201cWe\u2019re angry,\u201d\u2014\u201cWe\u2019re back,\u201d\u2014\u201cThis isn\u2019t working.\u201d? How many years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Eight years. The interesting thing is that, while we were going through all these issues, we were starting to establish a pretty nice little nest egg. I had started my own business and was very successful. Cheryl was, by that time, the nursing director for a catheterization lab at one of the larger hospitals in the Cleveland area. So, things were really looking good for us, on the outside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was it a marriage that you would say was mostly miserable, with a few moments of happiness\u2014or would you say it was okay; but when the storm clouds rolled in, they thundered pretty hard?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> I would say it was probably about half and half. There were some good times; but as the years went on, the bad times were worse and the fighting lasted longer. I can honestly say\u2014toward the end of the eight years\u2014that there would be two to three weeks, at a time, where we would not speak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just think of the amount of anger and bitterness that must have built up over an eight-year period. I know, from looking at the Bible, it says, \u201cDon't let the sun go down on your anger.\u201d For eight years, the sun had gone down on two people's anger for one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was stockpiling. And, you know, we talk, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> conferences, about how the natural drift of any marriage is toward isolation. What you\u2019re describing is a period where two people are living together and, to the outside, everything looks fine. But the emotional divorce had happened in your marriage. You were two people, living under the same roof\u2014still sharing the same bank account, same address\u2014but you had left one another a long time ago; hadn't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Yes. I think that I had, at that point, taken all I was going to take. You know, you joked around about me being a redhead. I can take so much\u2014and I\u2019ll take it, and I\u2019ll take it, and I\u2019ll take it\u2014and then, I am going to explode. In eight years, I was ready to explode. I had once, previously, filed for divorce and did not go through with it. So, at that point, I went and saw an attorney and was beginning to file the papers for a divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> At this point, with that explosion going on\u2014with that kind of contempt coming your way\u2014are you thinking, \u201cOkay, the best thing to do\u2014end this deal, and we move on.\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> You have to go back one year, in which I went out with the guys to celebrate my birthday, and somebody else\u2019s birthday, and somebody else's birthday and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A long celebration?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> It was a <em>long<\/em> celebration. I woke up, in the middle of the night. I don't know, to this day, what it was or what set me off\u2014but I woke up; and I put my fist through the wall of our brand-new house, as a matter of fact. We just had completed it. When I did that, I scared Cheryl, obviously. She took Michelle and went across the street to her parents' house. I went back to bed and managed to sleep some but woke up and saw what I had done, and proceeded across the street, and begged her to come home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI told her that I was going to get some help, and I was going to make a change, and I was going to stop drinking. Of course, she didn't believe me because she'd heard it before. But I did\u2014I stopped drinking. Cheryl did, eventually, come back home. When we got through that year, I thought that I had done everything that I needed to do to mend this relationship because I had quit drinking. So, what else did she want?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, more than anything else, what I was trying to do was salvage my empire. I wanted to have my house back\u2014that I had just completed\u2014and my four-car garage, and my trucks, and my toys. I wanted to have a relationship with somebody that was willing to put up with who I was and not expect anything more than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wow, Cheryl! He's trying to salvage the relationship for his stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> For his stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You had to feel that. That had to be a part of what you were going through, in terms of lack of being valued, appreciated, and esteemed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Exactly. I felt like nothing in the marriage. I didn't feel like his partner. I felt like I was just a bag that was along for the ride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you feel like you were doing all you needed to be doing, as a wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> At the time, I think I thought I was. I mean, as I look back now, I know that I wasn't, but at the time\u2014you have to understand\u2014we didn't know how to be married\u2014we really didn't. We didn't have the first clue as to what it was going to take. So, I didn't know what I was doing wrong; and I don't know that he really did, either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, wait a second. He\u2019s, now, almost 40. You\u2019re almost 30. He\u2019s the CEO of an electrical construction company. You are the managing nurse in charge of a cardiac lab, and you didn\u2019t know how to do marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Well, when you go to nursing school, you learn how to do everything. Then, you have somebody who\u2014when you go in, then, they teach you. I learned everything that I needed to learn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019d been trained.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> I had been trained.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You knew how to do the job?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> I knew how to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Somebody explained it to you, but nobody had ever explained how to do marriage to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Right. If somebody had explained, I would have done it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, you know, I think that's where so many couples end their marriages\u2014right there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They don't realize, at their point of need, that there is a solution that's very practical. It works. It's authoritative, and that training is available today. I think some of the finest training on marriage and family, anywhere in the world, can be found at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, listening back to our conversation with Sandy and Cheryl Spangler, which took place several years ago\u2014and, once again, Cheryl\u2014earlier this year\u2014went home to be with the Lord\u2014but I listen back to them sharing their story, and I think Cheryl would say the same thing today, if she were here, that she was saying then. Couples need to make their marriage a priority. When they find themselves in trouble\u2014in a ditch\u2014they need to get help. Actually, before you get in the ditch, you ought to get the help so you don\u2019t wind up in the ditch; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s one of the reasons why our team, this week, has a special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. We are about to kick off the fall season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. We\u2019re going to be hosting these in about four dozen cities, all across the country, this fall. If you will call us this week or next week to sign up to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway this fall\u2014you sign up and register for yourself and your spouse comes free. It\u2019s a buy one\/get one free opportunity. You save 50 percent off the regular cost of registration. It\u2019s available this week and next week only. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com to register or to find out when a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is coming to a city near where you live. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cWeekend to Remember\u201d. All the information that you need is available there. To take advantage of the special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, you need to type my name\u2014you need to type \u201cBOB\u201d \u2014in the box that says \u201cPromotion Code.\u201d That will automatically qualify you for the special offer. Take advantage of this today\u2014go online\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014to find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. Sign up now! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have friends who you know need to be at this event, call them or sign them up; right? You can do that! Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and get them all signed up for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. Then, call them and say: \u201cGuess what? We\u2019ve got a present for you!\u201d FamilyLifeToday.com is our website. You can also reach us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to continue to hear Sandy and Cheryl Spangler\u2019s story. In fact, we\u2019ll hear what Sandy thought when his wife dragged him to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014what he thought the experience was going to be and what it turned out to be. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["38.1M"],"filesize_raw":["39945514"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302808.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302808.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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how God changed their hearts and their marriage one attitude at a time.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-09-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sandy and Cheryl Spangler began their marriage with a lot of hope, without a plan, and things quickly began to unravel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I thought I was the normal-type guy, you know. I worked construction pretty much my entire life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> He would stop after work\u2014most evenings\u2014and I would go straight home from work and get dinner ready.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> You get done with a hard day's work, and you stop at the bar, and you have a couple of drinks. Just because you're married doesn't mean anything. I mean, that's the way it's supposed to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Responsibilities\u2014I think that was the big thing for me. All of a sudden, I need somebody to be responsible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> When your wife, of a year, tells you that you're a drunk and you need to start taking responsibility, then everything inside you says, \"It's her\u2014\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> You know, we're going to have a child pretty soon\u2014and just trying to figure out life and go through life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> \u201c\u2014it's not me. She just doesn't understand how it's supposed to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> He just didn't seem to be there, and it just went downhill from there. Our first wedding anniversary\u2014we were separated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, September 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What do you hold onto, in a marriage, when it seems like all hope is gone?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. Today, we\u2019re going to go back and listen to an interview\u2014that was done a number of years ago\u2014with some friends of ours, Sandy and Cheryl Spangler. Sandy and Cheryl have been on staff at FamilyLife for a number of years. Prior to coming here and joining with us, Sandy worked in construction. Cheryl was a registered nurse. God did a remarkable work in their lives and in their marriage at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the reasons we wanted to air the interview with Sandy and Cheryl this week is to pay tribute to Cheryl\u2014who, earlier this year, went home to be with the Lord. After a prolonged battle with cancer, God called her home. We wanted to honor her life, her service, and her memory by sharing a story that she would want you to hear today if she were still alive to share it with you. It\u2019s a powerful story of God\u2019s transforming work in a couple\u2019s life. It all started at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week and next week, here at FamilyLife, our team is making available a special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners who would like to register for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. If you\u2019d like to join us for one of these two-and-a-half day getaways\u2014that we do in cities all around the country\u2014these are getaways for married couples or for engaged couples\u2014to hear about God\u2019s plan for your marriage relationship. It\u2019s a great two-and-a-half day getaway. If you\u2019d like to join us, you can sign up this week or next week. When you register yourself, your spouse comes free. It\u2019s a buy one\/get one offer for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou save 50 percent on the registration rate when you call this week or next week. If you\u2019re registering online, you need to type my name\u2014you need to type \u201cBOB\u201d\u2014into the promotion code box in order to qualify for this special offer; or simply call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say: \u201cI listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>;and I\u2019d like more information about the getaway,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019d like to sign up for one that is coming to a city near where we live.\u201d When you do, you will save 50 percent off the regular registration fee; alright? So, we\u2019d love to hear from you. We hope you and your spouse will plan to join us for a <em>Weekend to Remember.<\/em> Again, find our more at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, let\u2019s listen back to a great conversation with a great couple. Here\u2019s our conversation with Sandy and Cheryl Spangler.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s take a moment and go all the way back to the beginning of your relationship. Share with us how you guys met.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> We met in a bar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What were you doing in a bar?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> I went to dinner with my parents. I had just broken off an engagement. You know, I was not a believer at the time and decided to go to dinner with my parents to a Moose Club. My parents were there, the night before, for dinner, as well, because it was a great place to go for dinner. They had met him, and talked to him, and liked him. My mom thought that we should meet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How old were you at the time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Twenty-two. I was a nurse and I had to go to work that night. So, I kind of left early. I had given him my phone number, and I didn\u2019t know if he would call or not; but he actually\u2014I so impressed him that he forgot my name! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I remembered your name\u2014I forgot your telephone number!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you know you were getting set up by her parents when all of this was happening? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> No, I didn\u2019t have any idea at that time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What were you doing at the Moose Club?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Drinking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were how old?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I was 30.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The two of you meet in these circumstances. You give the phone number and you don\u2019t hear from him because he forgot the phone number. What happened next?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> The next thing I knew\u2014I guess it was about a week later\u2014I went back with my parents. He ended up there again\u2014we ended up dating after that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You hung out at the Moose Club pretty regularly?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Oh, yes, I spent a lot of time in those places. I was also in the middle of a divorce, and I wasn\u2019t really looking for a relationship. I thought it would just be fun to hang out, and she was a pretty gal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Red hair\u2014I was attracted to her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And neither one of you were Christians at the time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> No, no. My goodness, no, we were\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Far from it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> \u2014a long way from Christianity, at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you know that he was ending a marriage? You learned that fairly quickly; didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Fairly quickly. We had spent some time talking that evening, and he had kind of explained his past to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Were there any children involved?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Yes, I had a son, Matthew, from my first marriage. At that point in time, he was five. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you explained it fairly early-on. I mean, this was your first or second date that you were kind of laying out, \u201cHere\u2019s what life\u2019s been like for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> In some ways, I thought, maybe, it might scare her off. I think I was hoping for that, in all honesty. I really wasn\u2019t looking for a relationship. I had grown up in the Rock Age and had gotten involved with alcohol and with drugs. I spent a year in Vietnam and actually became a heroin addict. I came back and kicked that habit but stayed with alcohol. At that point in my life, I was a pretty severe alcoholic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you realize, at that point, that you were an alcoholic?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I wouldn\u2019t admit it; but as I look back on it now, I knew that I was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I just didn\u2019t want to come out and say that I was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, how long did you date?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> We met in March, and started to date right away, and saw each other very frequently. I was still at home. I moved out in August and moved into an apartment\u2014we moved in together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was there anything in the back of your mind saying, \"Gee, is this the right thing to do?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I think I knew that it wasn\u2019t the right thing to do, but it was comfortable. I mean, really, for me, it was a comfortable place to be. I had somebody to be with and somebody to share my life with. There were, at that point, really no strings attached. I don\u2019t think that either one of us ever expected that we would someday get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, why did you get married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> I became pregnant\u2014and so just felt like that was the right thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you want to get married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> At that point, no. It was just an okay thing to do. It was convenience. It wasn\u2019t like there was this romance or this real commitment\u2014it was just the right thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> We really did like each other. I mean, we had a great time. Our relationship was a lot of fun\u2014we had a blast! But it wasn\u2019t a relationship that was really based on anything. It was just based on emotions and having fun together. I was okay with that. If it meant we had to get married, \u201cOkay, we can get married.\u201d Cheryl had a good job; and I had a good job, at that point in time. It seemed like the right thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, most little girls grow up dreaming of the day when the handsome young man will get down on one knee and will propose\u2014and she'll say, \"Yes,\u201d\u2014and they'll embrace. They dream of that moment. You tell him you're pregnant, he says, \"Well, I guess we ought to get married,\" and that's all you got. Did you feel a loss?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Very much so\u2014I think, for the first eight years of our marriage\u2014I think that was part of our struggle because there was\u2014there were just a lot of things that were missing. It just changes the way you relate to each other. I didn\u2019t feel appreciated, or honored, or esteemed, in any way, from him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you go to the courthouse to get married? Did you go to a church to get married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> We went to a church. I was six months\u2019 pregnant when we got married. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you said that, in the time that you were living together, your relationship was fine. You were having a good time\u2014you were enjoying each other\u2019s company. You\u2019re saying, after the wedding, things changed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Oh, very much so because, when you're living together, you're playing house. You're pretending. You're not the person that you really are. Even though you\u2019re living together, you may see some of their faults but you don\u2019t really see their faults. Things changed, dramatically, after we got married. Not that he was a lot different, even though he was different, but I was, also, a lot different once we got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> When you're living together, it's like you can walk out anytime you want to. Even though we were living together, I could do anything that I wanted to do; and I did. Then, when you become married, everything changes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You're not free anymore; are you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> You're not free: \u201cWell, you can't practice with the band, four nights a week. You need to be home with me because we have a relationship.\u201d My response was: \u201cWe had a relationship before. What has changed?\u201d\u00a0 Everything changed for me; and, I must admit, I didn't really like it a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> For me, all the guilt of living with somebody, and getting pregnant, and then, you get married because you have to\u2014you still don't feel that there is any security there because, \u201cThis man just married me because I was pregnant.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How long into the marriage before you started experiencing conflict? Was it a week\u2014a month\u2014six months?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> The day of.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The day of the marriage?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> The day of the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell me about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I like to cook\u2014I like to cater. I like to play in the band. I like being in the middle of everything. So, the day we got married, I put myself in the middle of everything that was going on, as far as the reception\u2014and forgot that I was getting married that day. So, when they needed to do pictures, and all of the other stuff that is so important for a bride, I didn\u2019t make myself available, like I should have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI look back on that day, now, and I think to myself, \u201cHow could anyone be that stupid?\u201d \u2014or that selfish, I guess you might say. But that set the tone for what our marriage was going to be like for the next eight years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Cheryl, you rolled your eyes a bit as he started reliving that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Oh, do I remember\u2014like it was yesterday! It was\u2014it was a real struggle. It just went downhill from there. Our first wedding anniversary\u2014we were separated. We were living apart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What caused a couple to go from a happy-go-lucky, living-together relationship to a wedding, where there's tension to a point\u2014where a year later\u2014you go, \"I don't want you around.\"\u00a0 What happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Responsibilities\u2014I think that was the big thing, for me. All of a sudden, I need somebody to be responsible. \u201cWe're going to have a child pretty soon,\u201d\u2014and just trying to figure out life and go through life\u2014he just didn't seem to be there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was alcohol an issue, at this point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Very much so because he would stop after work\u2014most evenings\u2014and I would go straight home from work and get dinner ready.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> I thought I was the normal-type guy. You know, I worked construction. When you get done, with a hard day's work, you stop at the bar, and you have a couple of drinks. Just because you're married doesn't mean anything. I mean, \u201cThat's the way it's supposed to be.\u201d When your wife, of a year, tells you that you're a drunk and you need to start taking responsibility, then, everything inside you says, \"It's her\u2014it's not me. She just doesn't understand how it's supposed to be.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the reasons that Cheryl married me was because I was a hard-worker. I was. I like to work!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I want to be clear on this, as well. You know, we've talked about the shortcomings of your husband here; but I'm guessing, that if we looked back at that first year, objectively, there were probably a few things you were doing to contribute to the disharmony in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, Bob, she's a redhead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I understand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> That's right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I would just\u2014if I had to guess\u2014maybe, you expressed your anger pretty openly?\u00a0 Maybe, you tried to adjust his behavior and control him a little more than you should have?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Oh, that would be correct. I would voice my anger very loudly, too. I knew how to push his buttons; and so, I became very good at it. I wouldn\u2019t blame him a bit for not wanting to come home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> That happened several times\u2014where I would go back and say: \"You know\u2014I made some mistakes. I really need to do something about stopping at the bars. I'll stop\u2014I'll quit that. That won't be something that I'll do from now on. I'll make some adjustments. You'll see\u2014it will be fine.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> His promises would last about two weeks. Then, he would be right back to where he was. Then, I would be screaming. It would just\u2014the cycle would start all over again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, there are a lot of folks, who are listening, who go, \u201cThis sounds too close to home.\u201d Maybe, they lived through it or they\u2019re living through it, right now, as they hear you describe the story. How long did this go on, in your marriage\u2014this crazy, ongoing cycle of: \u201cWe\u2019re angry,\u201d\u2014\u201cWe\u2019re back,\u201d\u2014\u201cThis isn\u2019t working.\u201d? How many years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Eight years. The interesting thing is that, while we were going through all these issues, we were starting to establish a pretty nice little nest egg. I had started my own business and was very successful. Cheryl was, by that time, the nursing director for a catheterization lab at one of the larger hospitals in the Cleveland area. So, things were really looking good for us, on the outside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was it a marriage that you would say was mostly miserable, with a few moments of happiness\u2014or would you say it was okay; but when the storm clouds rolled in, they thundered pretty hard?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> I would say it was probably about half and half. There were some good times; but as the years went on, the bad times were worse and the fighting lasted longer. I can honestly say\u2014toward the end of the eight years\u2014that there would be two to three weeks, at a time, where we would not speak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just think of the amount of anger and bitterness that must have built up over an eight-year period. I know, from looking at the Bible, it says, \u201cDon't let the sun go down on your anger.\u201d For eight years, the sun had gone down on two people's anger for one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was stockpiling. And, you know, we talk, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> conferences, about how the natural drift of any marriage is toward isolation. What you\u2019re describing is a period where two people are living together and, to the outside, everything looks fine. But the emotional divorce had happened in your marriage. You were two people, living under the same roof\u2014still sharing the same bank account, same address\u2014but you had left one another a long time ago; hadn't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Yes. I think that I had, at that point, taken all I was going to take. You know, you joked around about me being a redhead. I can take so much\u2014and I\u2019ll take it, and I\u2019ll take it, and I\u2019ll take it\u2014and then, I am going to explode. In eight years, I was ready to explode. I had once, previously, filed for divorce and did not go through with it. So, at that point, I went and saw an attorney and was beginning to file the papers for a divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> At this point, with that explosion going on\u2014with that kind of contempt coming your way\u2014are you thinking, \u201cOkay, the best thing to do\u2014end this deal, and we move on.\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> You have to go back one year, in which I went out with the guys to celebrate my birthday, and somebody else\u2019s birthday, and somebody else's birthday and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A long celebration?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> It was a <em>long<\/em> celebration. I woke up, in the middle of the night. I don't know, to this day, what it was or what set me off\u2014but I woke up; and I put my fist through the wall of our brand-new house, as a matter of fact. We just had completed it. When I did that, I scared Cheryl, obviously. She took Michelle and went across the street to her parents' house. I went back to bed and managed to sleep some but woke up and saw what I had done, and proceeded across the street, and begged her to come home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI told her that I was going to get some help, and I was going to make a change, and I was going to stop drinking. Of course, she didn't believe me because she'd heard it before. But I did\u2014I stopped drinking. Cheryl did, eventually, come back home. When we got through that year, I thought that I had done everything that I needed to do to mend this relationship because I had quit drinking. So, what else did she want?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, more than anything else, what I was trying to do was salvage my empire. I wanted to have my house back\u2014that I had just completed\u2014and my four-car garage, and my trucks, and my toys. I wanted to have a relationship with somebody that was willing to put up with who I was and not expect anything more than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wow, Cheryl! He's trying to salvage the relationship for his stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> For his stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You had to feel that. That had to be a part of what you were going through, in terms of lack of being valued, appreciated, and esteemed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Exactly. I felt like nothing in the marriage. I didn't feel like his partner. I felt like I was just a bag that was along for the ride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you feel like you were doing all you needed to be doing, as a wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> At the time, I think I thought I was. I mean, as I look back now, I know that I wasn't, but at the time\u2014you have to understand\u2014we didn't know how to be married\u2014we really didn't. We didn't have the first clue as to what it was going to take. So, I didn't know what I was doing wrong; and I don't know that he really did, either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, wait a second. He\u2019s, now, almost 40. You\u2019re almost 30. He\u2019s the CEO of an electrical construction company. You are the managing nurse in charge of a cardiac lab, and you didn\u2019t know how to do marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Well, when you go to nursing school, you learn how to do everything. Then, you have somebody who\u2014when you go in, then, they teach you. I learned everything that I needed to learn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019d been trained.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> I had been trained.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You knew how to do the job?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> I knew how to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Somebody explained it to you, but nobody had ever explained how to do marriage to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong> Right. If somebody had explained, I would have done it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, you know, I think that's where so many couples end their marriages\u2014right there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They don't realize, at their point of need, that there is a solution that's very practical. It works. It's authoritative, and that training is available today. I think some of the finest training on marriage and family, anywhere in the world, can be found at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, listening back to our conversation with Sandy and Cheryl Spangler, which took place several years ago\u2014and, once again, Cheryl\u2014earlier this year\u2014went home to be with the Lord\u2014but I listen back to them sharing their story, and I think Cheryl would say the same thing today, if she were here, that she was saying then. Couples need to make their marriage a priority. When they find themselves in trouble\u2014in a ditch\u2014they need to get help. Actually, before you get in the ditch, you ought to get the help so you don\u2019t wind up in the ditch; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s one of the reasons why our team, this week, has a special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. We are about to kick off the fall season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. We\u2019re going to be hosting these in about four dozen cities, all across the country, this fall. If you will call us this week or next week to sign up to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway this fall\u2014you sign up and register for yourself and your spouse comes free. It\u2019s a buy one\/get one free opportunity. You save 50 percent off the regular cost of registration. It\u2019s available this week and next week only. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com to register or to find out when a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is coming to a city near where you live. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cWeekend to Remember\u201d. All the information that you need is available there. To take advantage of the special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, you need to type my name\u2014you need to type \u201cBOB\u201d \u2014in the box that says \u201cPromotion Code.\u201d That will automatically qualify you for the special offer. Take advantage of this today\u2014go online\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014to find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. Sign up now! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have friends who you know need to be at this event, call them or sign them up; right? You can do that! Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and get them all signed up for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. Then, call them and say: \u201cGuess what? We\u2019ve got a present for you!\u201d FamilyLifeToday.com is our website. You can also reach us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to continue to hear Sandy and Cheryl Spangler\u2019s story. In fact, we\u2019ll hear what Sandy thought when his wife dragged him to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014what he thought the experience was going to be and what it turned out to be. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302808","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302808"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302808"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302808"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302808"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302808"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302808"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302808"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}