{"id":302794,"date":"2013-08-12T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-08-12T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-sweet-cup-of-kindness\/"},"modified":"2013-08-12T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-08-12T15:00:00","slug":"the-sweet-cup-of-kindness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-sweet-cup-of-kindness\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sweet Cup of Kindness"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What would our world be like if Christians were known for their love?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-08-12.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.1M","filesize_raw":"26318949","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809],"tags":[4215,4213],"podcast_series":[7966],"cwp_profile":[9311],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302794","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","tag-1-corinthians-13","tag-love","podcast_series-loving-the-way-jesus-loves","cwp_profile-philip-graham-ryken","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302794\/the-sweet-cup-of-kindness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302794\/the-sweet-cup-of-kindness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"XrQ3VbXEmW\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-sweet-cup-of-kindness\/\">The Sweet Cup of Kindness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-sweet-cup-of-kindness\/embed\/#?secret=XrQ3VbXEmW\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Sweet Cup of Kindness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"XrQ3VbXEmW\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-08-12.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-08-12.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most people think of First Corinthians 13 as \u201cThe Love Chapter\u201d. Dr. Phil Ryken, the President of Wheaton College, thinks maybe we ought to consider it \u201cThe Jesus Chapter\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think, at the beginning of this passage, the Apostle Paul says, \u201cNow, let me tell you what the love of Jesus is like;\u201d but when you start going through\u2014\u201cOkay, where have I seen this kind of patience\u2014non-envious, non-boastful, fully- kind\u2014?\u201d I mean, when you start going through this list, what is the best example of this love? Where do we see it fully fleshed-out? Of course, the answer to that is in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 12<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. First Corinthians 13 describes Jesus. Does it also describe you\u2014your marriage? We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019ve been reading, recently, in the book of Philippians. I\u2019ve spent a lot of time in Philippians\u2014going through it. Paul\u2019s prayer, at the beginning of the book, where he\u2019s praying for the church at Philippi, begins with this declaration: \u201cMy prayer for you is that your love would abound more and more.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, this was a church that was a pretty loving church. I mean, they sacrificed for Paul\u2014cared for him. And the first thing he prays for them is that their love would continue\u2014that it would abound more and more. I got to thinking, \u201cWhat would it be like, in our world, if the thing we were known for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014was our love abounding more and more? How would that change the Gospel and the proclamation of the Gospel? How would it change families? How would it change marriages if our love abounded more and more?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I think it\u2019s one of the subjects that we need to be talking more about because I think it\u2019s totally misunderstood by the culture. There are a lot of confusing messages being sent out to young people who fall \u201cin love\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and, then, think that kind of love is going to last for a lifetime\u2014because it doesn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith us, here, to talk about loving the way Jesus loves\u2014which is the title of his new book\u2014is Dr. Phil Ryken. Phil, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Thank you, Dennis and Bob. I just really appreciate your program. We catch it, from time to time, in Chicago. Thank you for everything you do to strengthen families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, there\u2019s a reason why he\u2019s in Chicago. He is the President of Wheaton College\u2014the eighth president. His claim to fame is that he\u2019s married to Lisa since 1987. He\u2019s got the silver; now, he\u2019s going for the gold. They have five children\u2014they\u2019re very much in process\u2014but you\u2019re a prolific author. You\u2019ve written over 30 books in your spare time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s true. You know, it is part of God\u2019s calling in my life. I remember we had a missionary friend visiting with us\u2014this was when I was in ministry in Philadelphia. She asked me a question nobody had ever asked me before: \u201cYou must enjoy writing. Do you enjoy writing?\u201d I said, \u201cI\u2019m not sure I actually do. It\u2019s so difficult\u2014there\u2019s so much suffering that\u2019s involved in writing\u2014in the editorial process.\u201d [Laughter] But it is what I\u2019m called to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy father\u2019s a writer. When I was a little boy, I would put my pillow at the end of my bed. I\u2019d be able to look across the hallway and see my father at his typewriter, typing out books. I would pretend, on my pillow, to be typing on my bed. It runs pretty deep in my life\u2014a calling to be a writer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, let\u2019s talk about this subject of love here. I want you to start, just with your own observations, about what the culture is communicating about what real love is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, you know, you opened the broadcast by saying we live in a culture that is confused about love. I think the culture thinks that love is primarily emotional\u2014that the most important kind of love is romantic love. That\u2019s very different from the picture you get in the Scriptures\u2014where love has an emotional dimension, for sure\u2014but a lot of love is the practical living out of putting another person first in life. The Bible does talk about romantic love\u2014celebrates it, rejoices in it\u2014but there are other dimensions of love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the rich things about the biblical teaching on love is you have multiple vocabulary words. You know, in English, we really try to do all the work that love can do with a single word; but that\u2019s not how it is in Greek and Hebrew. You get a richer, fuller picture of multiple dimensions of love. So, it\u2019s a very different picture that you get in the Bible than in culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, at the center, of the culture\u2019s idea of love, is self-satisfaction and self-gratification. That\u2019s antithetical to the biblical idea of love, which is concern for others; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, you know, even love can be a selfish thing if what I\u2019m really excited about is my experience of being in love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> True love is a costly, sacrificial, sometimes-painful thing, even, as you live it out in your own life. Of course, it\u2019s a beautiful thing in another sense of the word. Love is a life commitment that comes at a great cost. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You say, in your book, that First Corinthians 13 is like a portrait of love or a good description of love, but it really is pointing back to the One that was love\u2014who visited this planet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, I think so. First Corinthians 13 is a very well-known passage of Scripture. Most of us have heard it at a lot of weddings, for example. This book is really just a careful exposition\u2014explanation\u2014and application of the full richness of First \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCorinthians 13. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think, at the beginning of this passage, the Apostle Paul says, \u201cNow, let me tell you what the love of Jesus is like;\u201d but when you start going through\u2014\u201cOkay, where have I seen this kind of patience\u2014non-envious, non-boastful, fully- kind\u2014?\u201d I mean, when you start going through the list, what is the best example of this love? Where do we see it fully fleshed-out? Of course, the answer to that is in the life of Jesus Christ. I think this passage is a great lens for looking at the life of Christ. If you want the full portrait of First Corinthians 13, you see it lived out in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting to me, too, because from an apologetics standpoint, that\u2019s not the center of the picture for other prophets or deities around the world. We don\u2019t think of Allah as the god of love. We don\u2019t think of Buddha as being the\u2014as love being at the center of the bull\u2019s eye. For the Christian, this is the <em>sine qua non<\/em>; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, and you know, John says that in his epistles; doesn\u2019t he? \u201cGod is love.\u201d He makes a direct identification of God as love. You could, equally\u2014the Bible, I don\u2019t think, says it in so many words, but\u2014Jesus is love. That\u2019s certainly the message of the Gospel. Of course, there are other attributes of the character of Christ\u2014love isn\u2019t His <em>only <\/em>attribute\u2014but if you\u2019re looking for the living definition of love, that is in the person and in the work of Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve often wanted to, maybe, swap with one of the disciples and to have been near Jesus. I\u2019ll tell you why, Phil\u2014it\u2019s what you\u2019re hitting on here. <em>He<\/em> was love incarnate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You think you could have picked up a few things if you\u2019d\u2014?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would just, truthfully\u2014and I\u2019ve thought about this many, many times, \u201cWhat would it have been like to have looked into the face of a man who loved perfectly?\u201d I don\u2019t know. Have you ever had that thought, after writing a whole book on this topic?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Well, you know, we get a little glimpse of that, don\u2019t we, in the Gospel of John, where John refers to \u201cthe disciple that Jesus loved\u201d. It\u2019s brilliant, really. I think it\u2019s commonly recognized that John is talking about himself. There is a certain humility there but, also, a deep joy that comes through that he was one of the <em>beloved<\/em> disciples. But it\u2019s also written in such a way that we can sort of put ourselves into that place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou, too, Dennis Rainey, are the disciple that Jesus loved. That\u2019s worked out in the pages of the Gospel. That\u2019s the love of Christ for you and for me and for people that are listening to us today. So, in a sense, we do get that privilege, but we\u2019re going to have to wait for that face-to-face\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> \u2014seeing love-in-the-face experience, which is promised to us in the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, you and Lisa have been married 25 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What have you learned from gazing into the life of Jesus Christ? What have you learned about loving <em>her<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes! Well, how long do we have on today\u2019s broadcast? [Laughter] You know, one thing we often joke about\u2014this is something that her mother would say, from time to time, \u201cThe first 25 years are the hardest.\u201d So, next year, we\u2019ll probably say, \u201cThe first 26 years are the hardest.\u201d [Laughter] I mean, marriage is an amazing crucible for discipleship\u2014for the life of sanctification. I tell young people: \u201cWhen you are prayerfully making a decision about a life partnership, you are really <em>choosing<\/em> the person that you will become because this relationship will have a bigger impact on your sanctification than any other relationship.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, if you asked me, \u201cWhat\u2019s the first thing that comes to my mind\u2014what have I learned about love, from being married to Lisa Maxwell for 25 years?\u201d I have learned how selfish I am. That\u2019s the first thing that comes to my mind because there are all kinds of things that you just cater to your own wants and desires. That doesn\u2019t really get fully exposed until you live with somebody in that close proximity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, she would say, you know, I haven\u2019t learned enough about the love of Jesus, yet. [Laughter] But, you know, you look back over 25 years and you\u2019re able to say: \u201cPraise God! I\u2019m not the man that I was at the beginning of this relationship.\u201d Hopefully,\u2014 I\u2019ll be able\u201425 years, later, from now, I\u2019ll be able to say\u2014you know, at this point\u2014\u201cI\u2019m not the man I was 25 years ago.\u201d It\u2019s a lifelong process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> To that point\u2014you mentioned, earlier, that the Greek language is robust in describing the one English word we have called \u201clove\u201d. Just real quickly, because I think our listeners could benefit from this, unpack the different Greek words that we have, in English, one word to describe\u2014and that is \u201clove\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, as I was mentioning earlier, this is part of the richness of the biblical teaching on love. You know, this is something that C.S. Lewis gave a great exposition of in his book, <em>The Four Loves<\/em>, where he talks about <em>storge<\/em>, which is a very comfortable, familiar, shoe-leather kind of love\u2014that\u2019s an analogy that\u2019s often given\u2014<em>agape, <\/em>which is a unique New Testament term, which Paul really frequently uses in the epistles, which is selfless love\u2014it is an active love. You have <em>eros<\/em>, from which, of course, we get our vocabulary of \u201cerotic\u201d. It\u2019s more in the category of a romantic love, and it has this passion to it that\u2019s in a love relationship. Then <em>phileo<\/em>, which is brotherly love\u2014like Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven that vocabulary shows that there are different relationships in life that have a different quality. I have a different kind of love relationship with a close colleague\u2014that I\u2019ve worked with in ministry\u2014than I do with Lisa, as my wife, or even than the kind of love that I have for my children. There are different loves that God gives us in life, according to our various callings in life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that I would just emphasize, since we\u2019re talking about loving the way Jesus loves and thinking a little bit about First Corinthians 13\u2014I think it is important to recognize that First Corinthians 13 is about this <em>agape, <\/em>selfless love that we\u2019re called to, as the followers of Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And one of the descriptive words that is used about love in First Corinthians 13 is that it is \u201ckind\u201d. You know, I think sometimes we take for granted kindness. Our listeners know that I\u2019ve been doing this\u2014kind of on a personal mission for the past few years\u2014to thank every TSA agent at the airport, as I go through the security line. You really get the feeling that there are not many people who are attempting to be kind to these TSA agents because almost all of them, when I say, \u201cYou know, I want to thank you for your work,\u201d\u2014and, to me, it is an aspect of kindness\u2014they will say, \u201cAnd I want to thank you for thanking me.\u201d They\u2019ve shared with me that they\u2019ve been spit on, they\u2019ve been cursed at\u2014people are rude to them. Kindness, though, is a mark of the Savior\u2019s love in our lives; is it not? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> It is, Dennis. Here, I thought the airport security people\u2014that was a thankless job\u2014but, apparently, Dennis Rainey is making this a <em>thankful<\/em> job. So, thank you for doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> One of the <em>huge<\/em> privileges of a life in ministry\u2014where you have the privilege that I have, which is to regularly spend private time studying God\u2019s Word in a deep way, preparing to teach God\u2019s Word to others\u2014is really <em>digging<\/em> into the Scriptures and getting a fuller sense of what is really there. I think kindness\u2014we think of as something that is a very small virtue, if it\u2019s a virtue at all\u2014but the biblical notion of kindness is really robust. It has a strong sense to it. I really go back to the Old Testament and the vocabulary of lovingkindess, which is actually God\u2019s covenant, faithful love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe whole love of God, for His people, is really expressed in terms of kindness. So, then, rather than thinking of this as a small thing, it\u2019s a huge privilege for us to be showing kindness to others, in the biblical sense of lovingkindness, in imitation of the amazing lovingkindness of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In Romans, Chapter 2, there\u2019s a phrase that\u2019s used. Paul talks about God\u2019s kindness being what leads to repentance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve always wondered, \u201cDoes that mean that it is kind of God to bring us to repentance?\u201d or, \u201cDoes it mean that is in the observation of His characteristic of kindness that we are convicted and we repent?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, you know, I want to be careful about giving a sort of exegetical answer to that\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I don\u2019t want to put you on the spot, here!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> \u2014without having done careful work in Romans 2. It strikes me, just instinctively, that it may be one of those things that could be both; and it\u2019s sort of open-ended to that. The Bible certainly describes repentance as a gift of God. It\u2019s, actually, a gift of God\u2019s grace that we are able to repent and it is God\u2019s kindness to us that He gives us that gift\u2014but it may also be observing the kindness of God that motivates us to come to that place of repentance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got another passage\u2014I just have my Bible open, here, Bob: \u201cWhen the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us. Not works done by us in righteousness\u2026.\u201d It goes on to talk about the saving work of Jesus Christ. \u201cWhat is the story of the Gospel and the message of salvation in Christ?\u201d It is the appearing of the kindness of God in His Person and through His saving work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you mentioned that, in the Old Testament, the word \u201clovingkindness\u201d\u2014the <em>hesed <\/em>of God. I haven\u2019t gone through and counted, but somebody told me that is the most common adjective ascribed to God in the Old Testament\u2014His lovingkindness. Now, we always talk about His holiness. He is thrice holy\u2014and a defining characteristic there. But, over and over again, the children of Israel remembered the lovingkindness of God. That was one big idea for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> It\u2019s a very frequent word in the Psalms, specifically. You see it a lot in the Psalms of David and in other Psalms. I just think of that beautiful phrase\u2014and somebody would have to remind me which Psalm it is\u2014\u201cYour lovingkindness is better than life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cBetter than life,\u201d yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> You know\u2014that\u2019s David\u2019s perspective on the lovingkindness of God. It\u2019s a verse I quote from, in just explaining kindness, in the context of First Corinthians 13.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Phil, one of the stories that Jesus told, that you unpack in your book, is the story of the Good Samaritan. Have you used that parable to teach your kids? As mentioned, you\u2019ve got five of them\u2014four of them still at home. Have you taught them about kindness from that story that Jesus told?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, in one sense; sure, because we have a regular pattern of family devotions that is part of our <em>usual<\/em> dinner routine\u2014we\u2019re not slavish to it. There are times, just in the course of things\u2014maybe, various reasons you don\u2019t have a devotional time every night; but we\u2019ve certainly read through the Gospels together. That\u2019s a well-known story for our children\u2014so much to learn about kindness there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPartly, you know, people talk about kindness to strangers. That\u2019s, really, at the heart of that story\u2014kindness towards that person\u2014who is in whatever category we think of as not being one of our people\u2014they\u2019re outsiders, not insiders. Jesus, of course, flips the story around. It\u2019s, actually, the stranger who\u2019s showing kindness. It\u2019s a reminder, in a very practical and helpful way, that kindness is not just something for our close family relationships but, actually, for all the relationships we have in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s sometimes easier to be kind to the stranger\u2014[Laughter] \u2014than it is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I knew what you were getting ready to say!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know what I\u2019m saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why is that? Why is it that it\u2019s easier to be kind to somebody I just see on the street, who\u2019s in need, than it is to be kind to my wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> You know\u2014I\u2019m not sure I know the full answer to that. I think, partly, it\u2019s the familiarity and regularity of just being with the people that you love. I think we are more authentically ourselves in family life. Some of those barriers come down. The things that we do to very carefully manipulate and present an image of ourselves to the world\u2014you just can\u2019t do that day-in and day-out, hour after hour, in family life. So, your family knows more authentically and completely who you are. I just don\u2019t think we can keep up those defense mechanisms the way that we do in casual encounters. I think that\u2019s part of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, our listeners had to know this had to be coming. So, here\u2019s your assignment: \u201cPick a stranger, in the coming couple of days\u2014maybe, in the coming week\u2014that you\u2019re going to be kind to\u2014just go out of your way to be kind.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second application is: \u201cI want you to make kindness, wrapped in flesh and blood, from your life to your spouse\u2014if you\u2019re married; to your children\u2014if God has blessed you with children; or if you\u2019re single and you\u2019ve got a roommate\u2014which I can tell you\u2014I had plenty of roommates before I got married! [Laughter] Some of those relationships sure needed me to be a little kind to them. Apply what Phil is challenging us with from the Scriptures.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Demonstrate some kindness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Demonstrate some\u2014on purpose\u2014and go out of your way to be kind to your wife\u2014guys\u2014for a <em>week<\/em>. Just think of thanking her for doing the laundry. Thank her for preparing the meals. Thank her for making the bed\u2014well, maybe, she didn\u2019t make it\u2014maybe, you left it\u2014but thank her for loving you and being your champion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And not just thankfulness but, proactively, do things that bless her\u2014I mean, I think that\u2019s a part of kindness\u2014or a wife can, proactively\u2014I just want to make sure I get mine on this, too! \u2014a wife can, proactively, bless her husband; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I would say\u2014here\u2019s the thing about Phil\u2019s book\u2014I don\u2019t think we do enough reading, from a biblical perspective, about topics like love. We talk a lot about love. We see all kinds of crazy illustrations, from the culture, about what they think it is; but what Phil has done in his book, <em>Loving the Way Jesus Loves<\/em>, is an exposition of First Corinthians 13, as illustrated by Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It wouldn\u2019t be bad for every married couple to read through this and say, \u201cDoes our love look like this kind of love?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, back to your statement\u2014you made at the beginning, Bob: \u201cWhat if our family became known as a family that really <em>was <\/em>a loving family?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got copies of Dr. Ryken\u2019s book, <em>Loving the Way Jesus Loves<\/em>,in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com to request your copy. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. The title of the book is: <em>Loving the Way Jesus Loves. <\/em>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. You can ask about how to receive a copy when you get in touch with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that one of the ways we cultivate the kind of godly character that Dr. Ryken\u2019s been talking about here today is by getting together with other couples and going through small group studies together. This month, the small group resources we\u2019ve developed, here at FamilyLife, are available at a special price. You can find out more about our small group resource sale when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you have any questions, at 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, one of our core commitments, here at FamilyLife, is we want to help couples cultivate a legacy of spiritual vitality in the next generation, whether that\u2019s your family or families in your church or your community: \u201cHow can you help cultivate a godly legacy that will live beyond you?\u201d We had a conversation, not long ago, with Dr. Steve Farrar, who wrote a book called <em>Anchorman<\/em>: <em>Anchoring Your Family in Christ for the Next 100 Years.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, we are making available that conversation, on audio CD, for those of you who share our goal of cultivating a godly legacy in the next generation and who can support this ministry with a donation to help defray the cost of producing and syndicating this radio program. If you go to FamilyLifeToday.com this week, click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make an online donation, we would be happy to send you the CD audio of our conversation with Dr. Steve Farrar on anchoring your family in Christ. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Be sure to ask for the CDs on anchoring your family in Christ. You can also mail a donation to us, here, at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our mailing address is: <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas. Our zip code is 72223. One more time: <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas\u2014Arkansas is \u201cAR\u201d. The zip code is 72223. Be sure to ask for the CDs from Steve Farrar when you get in touch with us by mail.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue talking about what authentic love looks like. We\u2019ll continue our look at First Corinthians, Chapter 13, with Dr. Phil Ryken. I hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.1M"],"filesize_raw":["26318949"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302794.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302794.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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would our world be like if Christians were known for their love?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-08-12.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most people think of First Corinthians 13 as \u201cThe Love Chapter\u201d. Dr. Phil Ryken, the President of Wheaton College, thinks maybe we ought to consider it \u201cThe Jesus Chapter\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think, at the beginning of this passage, the Apostle Paul says, \u201cNow, let me tell you what the love of Jesus is like;\u201d but when you start going through\u2014\u201cOkay, where have I seen this kind of patience\u2014non-envious, non-boastful, fully- kind\u2014?\u201d I mean, when you start going through this list, what is the best example of this love? Where do we see it fully fleshed-out? Of course, the answer to that is in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 12<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. First Corinthians 13 describes Jesus. Does it also describe you\u2014your marriage? We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019ve been reading, recently, in the book of Philippians. I\u2019ve spent a lot of time in Philippians\u2014going through it. Paul\u2019s prayer, at the beginning of the book, where he\u2019s praying for the church at Philippi, begins with this declaration: \u201cMy prayer for you is that your love would abound more and more.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, this was a church that was a pretty loving church. I mean, they sacrificed for Paul\u2014cared for him. And the first thing he prays for them is that their love would continue\u2014that it would abound more and more. I got to thinking, \u201cWhat would it be like, in our world, if the thing we were known for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014was our love abounding more and more? How would that change the Gospel and the proclamation of the Gospel? How would it change families? How would it change marriages if our love abounded more and more?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I think it\u2019s one of the subjects that we need to be talking more about because I think it\u2019s totally misunderstood by the culture. There are a lot of confusing messages being sent out to young people who fall \u201cin love\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and, then, think that kind of love is going to last for a lifetime\u2014because it doesn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith us, here, to talk about loving the way Jesus loves\u2014which is the title of his new book\u2014is Dr. Phil Ryken. Phil, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Thank you, Dennis and Bob. I just really appreciate your program. We catch it, from time to time, in Chicago. Thank you for everything you do to strengthen families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, there\u2019s a reason why he\u2019s in Chicago. He is the President of Wheaton College\u2014the eighth president. His claim to fame is that he\u2019s married to Lisa since 1987. He\u2019s got the silver; now, he\u2019s going for the gold. They have five children\u2014they\u2019re very much in process\u2014but you\u2019re a prolific author. You\u2019ve written over 30 books in your spare time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s true. You know, it is part of God\u2019s calling in my life. I remember we had a missionary friend visiting with us\u2014this was when I was in ministry in Philadelphia. She asked me a question nobody had ever asked me before: \u201cYou must enjoy writing. Do you enjoy writing?\u201d I said, \u201cI\u2019m not sure I actually do. It\u2019s so difficult\u2014there\u2019s so much suffering that\u2019s involved in writing\u2014in the editorial process.\u201d [Laughter] But it is what I\u2019m called to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy father\u2019s a writer. When I was a little boy, I would put my pillow at the end of my bed. I\u2019d be able to look across the hallway and see my father at his typewriter, typing out books. I would pretend, on my pillow, to be typing on my bed. It runs pretty deep in my life\u2014a calling to be a writer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, let\u2019s talk about this subject of love here. I want you to start, just with your own observations, about what the culture is communicating about what real love is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, you know, you opened the broadcast by saying we live in a culture that is confused about love. I think the culture thinks that love is primarily emotional\u2014that the most important kind of love is romantic love. That\u2019s very different from the picture you get in the Scriptures\u2014where love has an emotional dimension, for sure\u2014but a lot of love is the practical living out of putting another person first in life. The Bible does talk about romantic love\u2014celebrates it, rejoices in it\u2014but there are other dimensions of love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the rich things about the biblical teaching on love is you have multiple vocabulary words. You know, in English, we really try to do all the work that love can do with a single word; but that\u2019s not how it is in Greek and Hebrew. You get a richer, fuller picture of multiple dimensions of love. So, it\u2019s a very different picture that you get in the Bible than in culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, at the center, of the culture\u2019s idea of love, is self-satisfaction and self-gratification. That\u2019s antithetical to the biblical idea of love, which is concern for others; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, you know, even love can be a selfish thing if what I\u2019m really excited about is my experience of being in love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> True love is a costly, sacrificial, sometimes-painful thing, even, as you live it out in your own life. Of course, it\u2019s a beautiful thing in another sense of the word. Love is a life commitment that comes at a great cost. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You say, in your book, that First Corinthians 13 is like a portrait of love or a good description of love, but it really is pointing back to the One that was love\u2014who visited this planet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, I think so. First Corinthians 13 is a very well-known passage of Scripture. Most of us have heard it at a lot of weddings, for example. This book is really just a careful exposition\u2014explanation\u2014and application of the full richness of First \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCorinthians 13. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think, at the beginning of this passage, the Apostle Paul says, \u201cNow, let me tell you what the love of Jesus is like;\u201d but when you start going through\u2014\u201cOkay, where have I seen this kind of patience\u2014non-envious, non-boastful, fully- kind\u2014?\u201d I mean, when you start going through the list, what is the best example of this love? Where do we see it fully fleshed-out? Of course, the answer to that is in the life of Jesus Christ. I think this passage is a great lens for looking at the life of Christ. If you want the full portrait of First Corinthians 13, you see it lived out in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting to me, too, because from an apologetics standpoint, that\u2019s not the center of the picture for other prophets or deities around the world. We don\u2019t think of Allah as the god of love. We don\u2019t think of Buddha as being the\u2014as love being at the center of the bull\u2019s eye. For the Christian, this is the <em>sine qua non<\/em>; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, and you know, John says that in his epistles; doesn\u2019t he? \u201cGod is love.\u201d He makes a direct identification of God as love. You could, equally\u2014the Bible, I don\u2019t think, says it in so many words, but\u2014Jesus is love. That\u2019s certainly the message of the Gospel. Of course, there are other attributes of the character of Christ\u2014love isn\u2019t His <em>only <\/em>attribute\u2014but if you\u2019re looking for the living definition of love, that is in the person and in the work of Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve often wanted to, maybe, swap with one of the disciples and to have been near Jesus. I\u2019ll tell you why, Phil\u2014it\u2019s what you\u2019re hitting on here. <em>He<\/em> was love incarnate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You think you could have picked up a few things if you\u2019d\u2014?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would just, truthfully\u2014and I\u2019ve thought about this many, many times, \u201cWhat would it have been like to have looked into the face of a man who loved perfectly?\u201d I don\u2019t know. Have you ever had that thought, after writing a whole book on this topic?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Well, you know, we get a little glimpse of that, don\u2019t we, in the Gospel of John, where John refers to \u201cthe disciple that Jesus loved\u201d. It\u2019s brilliant, really. I think it\u2019s commonly recognized that John is talking about himself. There is a certain humility there but, also, a deep joy that comes through that he was one of the <em>beloved<\/em> disciples. But it\u2019s also written in such a way that we can sort of put ourselves into that place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou, too, Dennis Rainey, are the disciple that Jesus loved. That\u2019s worked out in the pages of the Gospel. That\u2019s the love of Christ for you and for me and for people that are listening to us today. So, in a sense, we do get that privilege, but we\u2019re going to have to wait for that face-to-face\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> \u2014seeing love-in-the-face experience, which is promised to us in the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, you and Lisa have been married 25 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What have you learned from gazing into the life of Jesus Christ? What have you learned about loving <em>her<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes! Well, how long do we have on today\u2019s broadcast? [Laughter] You know, one thing we often joke about\u2014this is something that her mother would say, from time to time, \u201cThe first 25 years are the hardest.\u201d So, next year, we\u2019ll probably say, \u201cThe first 26 years are the hardest.\u201d [Laughter] I mean, marriage is an amazing crucible for discipleship\u2014for the life of sanctification. I tell young people: \u201cWhen you are prayerfully making a decision about a life partnership, you are really <em>choosing<\/em> the person that you will become because this relationship will have a bigger impact on your sanctification than any other relationship.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, if you asked me, \u201cWhat\u2019s the first thing that comes to my mind\u2014what have I learned about love, from being married to Lisa Maxwell for 25 years?\u201d I have learned how selfish I am. That\u2019s the first thing that comes to my mind because there are all kinds of things that you just cater to your own wants and desires. That doesn\u2019t really get fully exposed until you live with somebody in that close proximity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, she would say, you know, I haven\u2019t learned enough about the love of Jesus, yet. [Laughter] But, you know, you look back over 25 years and you\u2019re able to say: \u201cPraise God! I\u2019m not the man that I was at the beginning of this relationship.\u201d Hopefully,\u2014 I\u2019ll be able\u201425 years, later, from now, I\u2019ll be able to say\u2014you know, at this point\u2014\u201cI\u2019m not the man I was 25 years ago.\u201d It\u2019s a lifelong process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> To that point\u2014you mentioned, earlier, that the Greek language is robust in describing the one English word we have called \u201clove\u201d. Just real quickly, because I think our listeners could benefit from this, unpack the different Greek words that we have, in English, one word to describe\u2014and that is \u201clove\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, as I was mentioning earlier, this is part of the richness of the biblical teaching on love. You know, this is something that C.S. Lewis gave a great exposition of in his book, <em>The Four Loves<\/em>, where he talks about <em>storge<\/em>, which is a very comfortable, familiar, shoe-leather kind of love\u2014that\u2019s an analogy that\u2019s often given\u2014<em>agape, <\/em>which is a unique New Testament term, which Paul really frequently uses in the epistles, which is selfless love\u2014it is an active love. You have <em>eros<\/em>, from which, of course, we get our vocabulary of \u201cerotic\u201d. It\u2019s more in the category of a romantic love, and it has this passion to it that\u2019s in a love relationship. Then <em>phileo<\/em>, which is brotherly love\u2014like Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven that vocabulary shows that there are different relationships in life that have a different quality. I have a different kind of love relationship with a close colleague\u2014that I\u2019ve worked with in ministry\u2014than I do with Lisa, as my wife, or even than the kind of love that I have for my children. There are different loves that God gives us in life, according to our various callings in life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that I would just emphasize, since we\u2019re talking about loving the way Jesus loves and thinking a little bit about First Corinthians 13\u2014I think it is important to recognize that First Corinthians 13 is about this <em>agape, <\/em>selfless love that we\u2019re called to, as the followers of Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And one of the descriptive words that is used about love in First Corinthians 13 is that it is \u201ckind\u201d. You know, I think sometimes we take for granted kindness. Our listeners know that I\u2019ve been doing this\u2014kind of on a personal mission for the past few years\u2014to thank every TSA agent at the airport, as I go through the security line. You really get the feeling that there are not many people who are attempting to be kind to these TSA agents because almost all of them, when I say, \u201cYou know, I want to thank you for your work,\u201d\u2014and, to me, it is an aspect of kindness\u2014they will say, \u201cAnd I want to thank you for thanking me.\u201d They\u2019ve shared with me that they\u2019ve been spit on, they\u2019ve been cursed at\u2014people are rude to them. Kindness, though, is a mark of the Savior\u2019s love in our lives; is it not? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> It is, Dennis. Here, I thought the airport security people\u2014that was a thankless job\u2014but, apparently, Dennis Rainey is making this a <em>thankful<\/em> job. So, thank you for doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> One of the <em>huge<\/em> privileges of a life in ministry\u2014where you have the privilege that I have, which is to regularly spend private time studying God\u2019s Word in a deep way, preparing to teach God\u2019s Word to others\u2014is really <em>digging<\/em> into the Scriptures and getting a fuller sense of what is really there. I think kindness\u2014we think of as something that is a very small virtue, if it\u2019s a virtue at all\u2014but the biblical notion of kindness is really robust. It has a strong sense to it. I really go back to the Old Testament and the vocabulary of lovingkindess, which is actually God\u2019s covenant, faithful love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe whole love of God, for His people, is really expressed in terms of kindness. So, then, rather than thinking of this as a small thing, it\u2019s a huge privilege for us to be showing kindness to others, in the biblical sense of lovingkindness, in imitation of the amazing lovingkindness of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In Romans, Chapter 2, there\u2019s a phrase that\u2019s used. Paul talks about God\u2019s kindness being what leads to repentance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve always wondered, \u201cDoes that mean that it is kind of God to bring us to repentance?\u201d or, \u201cDoes it mean that is in the observation of His characteristic of kindness that we are convicted and we repent?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, you know, I want to be careful about giving a sort of exegetical answer to that\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I don\u2019t want to put you on the spot, here!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> \u2014without having done careful work in Romans 2. It strikes me, just instinctively, that it may be one of those things that could be both; and it\u2019s sort of open-ended to that. The Bible certainly describes repentance as a gift of God. It\u2019s, actually, a gift of God\u2019s grace that we are able to repent and it is God\u2019s kindness to us that He gives us that gift\u2014but it may also be observing the kindness of God that motivates us to come to that place of repentance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got another passage\u2014I just have my Bible open, here, Bob: \u201cWhen the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us. Not works done by us in righteousness\u2026.\u201d It goes on to talk about the saving work of Jesus Christ. \u201cWhat is the story of the Gospel and the message of salvation in Christ?\u201d It is the appearing of the kindness of God in His Person and through His saving work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you mentioned that, in the Old Testament, the word \u201clovingkindness\u201d\u2014the <em>hesed <\/em>of God. I haven\u2019t gone through and counted, but somebody told me that is the most common adjective ascribed to God in the Old Testament\u2014His lovingkindness. Now, we always talk about His holiness. He is thrice holy\u2014and a defining characteristic there. But, over and over again, the children of Israel remembered the lovingkindness of God. That was one big idea for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> It\u2019s a very frequent word in the Psalms, specifically. You see it a lot in the Psalms of David and in other Psalms. I just think of that beautiful phrase\u2014and somebody would have to remind me which Psalm it is\u2014\u201cYour lovingkindness is better than life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cBetter than life,\u201d yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> You know\u2014that\u2019s David\u2019s perspective on the lovingkindness of God. It\u2019s a verse I quote from, in just explaining kindness, in the context of First Corinthians 13.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Phil, one of the stories that Jesus told, that you unpack in your book, is the story of the Good Samaritan. Have you used that parable to teach your kids? As mentioned, you\u2019ve got five of them\u2014four of them still at home. Have you taught them about kindness from that story that Jesus told?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Yes, in one sense; sure, because we have a regular pattern of family devotions that is part of our <em>usual<\/em> dinner routine\u2014we\u2019re not slavish to it. There are times, just in the course of things\u2014maybe, various reasons you don\u2019t have a devotional time every night; but we\u2019ve certainly read through the Gospels together. That\u2019s a well-known story for our children\u2014so much to learn about kindness there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPartly, you know, people talk about kindness to strangers. That\u2019s, really, at the heart of that story\u2014kindness towards that person\u2014who is in whatever category we think of as not being one of our people\u2014they\u2019re outsiders, not insiders. Jesus, of course, flips the story around. It\u2019s, actually, the stranger who\u2019s showing kindness. It\u2019s a reminder, in a very practical and helpful way, that kindness is not just something for our close family relationships but, actually, for all the relationships we have in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s sometimes easier to be kind to the stranger\u2014[Laughter] \u2014than it is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I knew what you were getting ready to say!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know what I\u2019m saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why is that? Why is it that it\u2019s easier to be kind to somebody I just see on the street, who\u2019s in need, than it is to be kind to my wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> You know\u2014I\u2019m not sure I know the full answer to that. I think, partly, it\u2019s the familiarity and regularity of just being with the people that you love. I think we are more authentically ourselves in family life. Some of those barriers come down. The things that we do to very carefully manipulate and present an image of ourselves to the world\u2014you just can\u2019t do that day-in and day-out, hour after hour, in family life. So, your family knows more authentically and completely who you are. I just don\u2019t think we can keep up those defense mechanisms the way that we do in casual encounters. I think that\u2019s part of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, our listeners had to know this had to be coming. So, here\u2019s your assignment: \u201cPick a stranger, in the coming couple of days\u2014maybe, in the coming week\u2014that you\u2019re going to be kind to\u2014just go out of your way to be kind.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second application is: \u201cI want you to make kindness, wrapped in flesh and blood, from your life to your spouse\u2014if you\u2019re married; to your children\u2014if God has blessed you with children; or if you\u2019re single and you\u2019ve got a roommate\u2014which I can tell you\u2014I had plenty of roommates before I got married! [Laughter] Some of those relationships sure needed me to be a little kind to them. Apply what Phil is challenging us with from the Scriptures.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Demonstrate some kindness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Demonstrate some\u2014on purpose\u2014and go out of your way to be kind to your wife\u2014guys\u2014for a <em>week<\/em>. Just think of thanking her for doing the laundry. Thank her for preparing the meals. Thank her for making the bed\u2014well, maybe, she didn\u2019t make it\u2014maybe, you left it\u2014but thank her for loving you and being your champion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And not just thankfulness but, proactively, do things that bless her\u2014I mean, I think that\u2019s a part of kindness\u2014or a wife can, proactively\u2014I just want to make sure I get mine on this, too! \u2014a wife can, proactively, bless her husband; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I would say\u2014here\u2019s the thing about Phil\u2019s book\u2014I don\u2019t think we do enough reading, from a biblical perspective, about topics like love. We talk a lot about love. We see all kinds of crazy illustrations, from the culture, about what they think it is; but what Phil has done in his book, <em>Loving the Way Jesus Loves<\/em>, is an exposition of First Corinthians 13, as illustrated by Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It wouldn\u2019t be bad for every married couple to read through this and say, \u201cDoes our love look like this kind of love?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, back to your statement\u2014you made at the beginning, Bob: \u201cWhat if our family became known as a family that really <em>was <\/em>a loving family?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got copies of Dr. Ryken\u2019s book, <em>Loving the Way Jesus Loves<\/em>,in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com to request your copy. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. The title of the book is: <em>Loving the Way Jesus Loves. <\/em>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. You can ask about how to receive a copy when you get in touch with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that one of the ways we cultivate the kind of godly character that Dr. Ryken\u2019s been talking about here today is by getting together with other couples and going through small group studies together. This month, the small group resources we\u2019ve developed, here at FamilyLife, are available at a special price. You can find out more about our small group resource sale when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you have any questions, at 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, one of our core commitments, here at FamilyLife, is we want to help couples cultivate a legacy of spiritual vitality in the next generation, whether that\u2019s your family or families in your church or your community: \u201cHow can you help cultivate a godly legacy that will live beyond you?\u201d We had a conversation, not long ago, with Dr. Steve Farrar, who wrote a book called <em>Anchorman<\/em>: <em>Anchoring Your Family in Christ for the Next 100 Years.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, we are making available that conversation, on audio CD, for those of you who share our goal of cultivating a godly legacy in the next generation and who can support this ministry with a donation to help defray the cost of producing and syndicating this radio program. If you go to FamilyLifeToday.com this week, click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make an online donation, we would be happy to send you the CD audio of our conversation with Dr. Steve Farrar on anchoring your family in Christ. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Be sure to ask for the CDs on anchoring your family in Christ. You can also mail a donation to us, here, at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our mailing address is: <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas. Our zip code is 72223. One more time: <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas\u2014Arkansas is \u201cAR\u201d. The zip code is 72223. Be sure to ask for the CDs from Steve Farrar when you get in touch with us by mail.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue talking about what authentic love looks like. We\u2019ll continue our look at First Corinthians, Chapter 13, with Dr. Phil Ryken. I hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. 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