{"id":302757,"date":"2013-06-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-06-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/leading-your-family-spiritually\/"},"modified":"2013-06-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-06-13T15:00:00","slug":"leading-your-family-spiritually","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/leading-your-family-spiritually\/","title":{"rendered":"Leading Your Family Spiritually"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Who\u2019s leading your family?  If you are husband or father, then I hope you say it\u2019s you. Dennis Rainey throws the gauntlet to men and challenges them to intentionally lead their families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Who\u2019s leading your family?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-06-13.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.2M","filesize_raw":"23277897","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837],"tags":[4886,4277,4700],"podcast_series":[7952],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302757","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","tag-being-a-leader","tag-fathers","tag-stepping-up","podcast_series-twenty-five-ways-to-lead-your-family-spiritually","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302757\/leading-your-family-spiritually","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302757\/leading-your-family-spiritually","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"rek3cgGJNt\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/leading-your-family-spiritually\/\">Leading Your Family Spiritually<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/leading-your-family-spiritually\/embed\/#?secret=rek3cgGJNt\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Leading Your Family Spiritually&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"rek3cgGJNt\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-06-13.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-06-13.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Today, gentlemen, I want to talk to you about being the spiritual leader of your family. As I was preparing and praying about my time with you, the Lord stopped me, dead in my tracks, and said, \u201cI\u2019ve got something different for you to pass out, this time, at Promise Keepers.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to turn this stadium into a coach\u2019s corner. I want to give you 25 coaching tips about how you can be the leader of your wife, the lover of your wife, the servant of your wife, and the spiritual shepherd of your entire family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, June 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Guys, get ready. Coach Rainey has some thoughts for you. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. I have often wondered, \u201cIf you hadn\u2019t wound up at FamilyLife, I have wondered if\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019d have my own fishing show today. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Fishing and hunting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, I have thought something geared toward men. You would have gotten involved in some kind of ministry\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because whenever I hear you speaking to a group of men, I can tell there\u2019s something that gets activated inside of you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want to encourage men. I think men get beat up today. I think they need somebody to put their arm around them and say: \u201cYou can do this thing. You can be the man God\u2019s called you to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wrote a book called <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>. We\u2019ve come up with a DVD series\u2014that is a ten-week series for guys to go through. There\u2019s a one-day event\u2014that\u2019s a video event that guys can host for other men. It\u2019s all built around what is your life message for men\u2014that they need to step up and embrace God\u2019s design for them, as men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. A number of years ago, I had the privilege of speaking at one of the PK events in Stockton, California.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some listeners are young enough to know\u2014what\u2019s a PK event?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Promise Keepers. It was stadiums\u2014filled with men. I was there in Stockton. I have no idea\u2014I don\u2019t know, 40,000 guys, 50,000\u2014somewhere in there. Anyway, I was driving in, the night before, listening to John Maxwell preach. I thought: \u201cMan! He is inspiring.\u201d I really wondered if I had chosen the right message that I was getting ready to give the next day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was right on target because I thought, \u201cThe men don\u2019t need any more inspiration.\u201d John had done a good job doing that. I gave them practical application for how to be the spiritual lover and leader of their wives and their families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was one of those crazy messages you did\u2014where, instead of having three big ideas\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had the wild idea that I could somehow make 25 points in 35 minutes. This week, you\u2019re about to find out if I could do it. We may take all week doing this, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We just have what we have left. So, let\u2019s dive in. Here is a message\u2014it\u2019s a classic message, from more than a decade ago\u2014speaking to a crowd of guys in Stockton, California\u2014with 25 big ideas on how to spiritually lead your family. Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Over 100 years ago, a young man had just graduated from a Chicago high school. His name was William Borden, heir to the Borden dairy fortune. His father wanted to give him a very special gift, upon graduation from high school. He gave him three things: money to go on a trip around the world, a servant to help him, and a brand- new Bible. After a month of touring Africa, Asia, the Middle East, William had seen the pain and suffering, through the eyes of this Book\u2014through the eyes of God. He turned to the last page in his Bible and he wrote two words, \u201cNo Reserve\u201d. There was no holding back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWilliam Borden had a call upon his life. He enrolled at Yale University, as a freshman. Years later, graduated\u2014was courted by Wall Street. His family business needed him, but he turned his back upon fortunes because Jesus Christ had captured his heart. He enrolled at Princeton. He wrote, again in his Bible, two words underneath the first two, \u201cNo Retreat\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree years later, William Borden graduated and set out for the nation of China. On his way, William Borden stopped in Egypt, where he became ill. Thirty days later, William Borden died, at the age of 25. Weeks later, his father was rummaging through William Borden\u2019s Bible. He found that William Borden had added two additional words to his Bible. He found the phrases: \u201cNo reserve\u201d, \u201cNo retreat\u201d, \u201cNo regrets\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSix words\u2014gentlemen\u2014that I believe should challenge you and me to choose, <em>this day<\/em>, how we will live in our marriages and families. Today, gentlemen, I want to talk to you about being the spiritual leader of your family. As I was preparing and praying about my time with you, the Lord stopped me, dead in my tracks, and said, \u201cI\u2019ve got something different for you to pass out, this time, at Promise Keepers.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to turn this stadium into a locker room. I want to give you 25 coaching tips about how you can be the leader of your wife, the lover of your wife, the servant of your wife, and the spiritual shepherd of your entire family. Turn to page 23, get a pencil, and write them down. At the end, I\u2019m going to call you to do an exercise\u2014at the end of this message. You may have to write small.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one: Pray daily with your wife. Jeremiah 33:3 says, \u201cCall to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things.\u201d God is speaking. He\u2019s speaking to you. He says call upon Him. In verse six, He tells you what He will do. \u201cBehold,\u201d He says, \u201cI will bring it to health and healing, and I will heal them, and I will reveal to them an abundance of peace and truth.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow let\u2019s cut to the chase, guys. There are a lot of homes, in this stadium right now, that need an abundance of God\u2019s peace and God\u2019s truth. That will never happen unless you put your arm around your wife and pray with her. I can honestly tell you, gentlemen, I do not know if I would be standing right here today if I had not received the advice I received from a man, at the beginning of my marriage, to end every day in prayer with your wife. Whether you end the day with prayer with your wife, or you begin it in prayer with your wife, the issue, guys, is pray <em>daily<\/em> with your wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second thing you can do to be the spiritual leader of your wife\u2014you\u2019ll love this, guys\u2014write her an old-fashioned love letter\u2014not the kind you\u2019d like to receive. Write her the kind of letter <em>she<\/em> would like to receive. Any leader knows that if he is to be effective with his followers, he must do it by winning their heart. Guys, you must express love, in words, to your wife. Find fresh ways to do it. Write your wife a love letter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber three: I want to challenge you to discover, over the next 12 months, your wife\u2019s top three needs. Then, I want you to go all out! I want you to go on a <em>quest<\/em>\u2014a <em>quest<\/em> to meet your wife\u2019s top three needs. Do you know what they are? Right now, without asking her, do you know what is just knocking the slats out of her life\u2014what\u2019s discouraging her? Do you know what would cause her to blossom and bloom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs it an emotional need? Is it a need for conversation?\u2014a need for romance? Or is it a need for you to fix something around the house? Ooooh! Is there a need for you to ask her for forgiveness? Maybe, it\u2019s a need for <em>you<\/em> to lead the family out of debt\u2014to take your credit cards, and cut them up, and burn them. [Cheers]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt may be that your wife needs you to help with the dishes, or maybe serve her and the family by putting the kids to bed and letting her do some of her list that she needs to do. Maybe, there\u2019s a man, here, who has a wife, whose need is for you to stop abusing her\u2014to stop kicking her, slapping her, cursing her, abusing her emotionally with words. All I can say, guys, is I don\u2019t know why a man would do that; but some men do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to tell you\u2014no matter what you\u2019ve done, no matter how badly you\u2019ve failed\u2014the land is flat, at the foot of the cross. [Cheers] Jesus Christ welcomes anybody who will kneel and cry out, in humility of heart, \u201cGod, forgive me, a sinner.\u201d So, my statement to you\u2014if you\u2019re abusing your wife, \u201cRepent.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA fourth way to be the spiritual leader\u2014listen carefully\u2014this is highly scientific. Buy her a rose. Buy her the rose, take her in your arms, and hold her face gently\u2014not like one guy did, who was like he was grabbing a football. [Laughter] Hold her face gently. I want you to look into her eyes and say this: \u201cI want you to know that marrying you was the smartest thing I\u2019ve ever done, Sweetheart. I want you to know that I would do it all over again.\u201d [Cheers] Now, some of you guys may need to have an oxygen tank handy for resuscitation, at this point. [Laughter] Tell her you\u2019d marry her all over again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFifth: Plan weekend getaways for you and your wife. We had six children in ten years. My wife needed to get away. <em>We<\/em> needed to get away. What I did was I would arrange the babysitting. I would arrange the location, and I would make it as easy as possible for her to get away. We try to do this still\u2014two to three times a year\u2014two nights away from the telephone, from the To Do lists, and the mail. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you men need to stay home with the children and let her get away for a weekend alone with her best friend. I did that one time, guys. I\u2019m telling you\u2014I got a new wife back when she came back. Gentlemen, sometimes we have to do the thing that is sacrificial\u2014for our wives\u2014to love them. That\u2019s what communicates true, authentic Christian love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSixth: Read the Bible to her. You don\u2019t have to be a theologian. You don\u2019t have to be a professor. Just open the Book and read it. You say, \u201cWell, Dennis, I don\u2019t know where to begin.\u201d Let me give you some locations you can just read her. Just read her this chapter, sometime, over the next few days\u2014Philippians, Chapter 2\u2014that\u2019s a great passage of Scripture to read. Get the <em>Living Bible<\/em> so you both can understand it\u2014something simple. Isaiah 40 is a great chapter\u2014reminding us of who God is. Second Peter, Chapter 1, is a great reminder. If your wife is losing hope, read Romans 5, verses 1 through 10. And if you always want to turn to the Psalms, the Psalms are a great place to always read to your wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA seventh way to spiritually lead your wife and your family\u2014listen, carefully, guys. Replace the \u201cD\u201d word with the \u201cC\u201d word. Never, ever, ever again, from this day forward, in your marriage, ever use the word, \u201cdivorce\u201d. Never let it enter into your mind and come out your lips. Never use it again! Vow, before God Almighty, you will never use this word in any kind of conversation with your wife\u2014you\u2019ll never do it. Why? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause once a word is uttered, it can become a possibility. I\u2019m going to tell you guys, we are robbing a generation of knowing what it means to come from an intact family\u2014where two people are committed for a lifetime\u2014because we\u2019re selfish. It\u2019s time to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to the culture of divorce and say, \u201cYes,\u201d to the \u201cC\u201d word\u2014covenant and commitment\u2014because our God is a covenant-keeping God. [Applause] No leader\u2014no leader, who wants to be the spiritual leader of his family\u2014will knowingly create fear among those he is seeking to lead. Your assignment\u2014my assignment\u2014is to serve her\u2014give up my life for her in such a way that it will cast out all fear\u2014Ephesians, Chapter 5 tells me. Never ever again use the \u201cD\u201d word with your wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEight: Court your wife. Some of you guys have allowed marriage to rob your relationship of its romance. You may say, \u201cDoes God talk about courting?\u201d He sure does. You ought to take a look at the Book of Song of Solomon. Solomon knew how to court his bride. Now, the problem is guys\u2014you and I spell romance differently than how our wives spell it. You and I spell romance S-E-X. Our wives spell romance\u2014you ready for this?\u2014friendship, relationship, time to talk, conversation. They need to be courted. One of the best ways you can court your wife, guys, is\u2014in the middle of the day, from work, is just call her on the phone and say, \u201cHow\u2019s your day going, Sweetheart?\u201d Then, tell her, before you get off the phone: \u201cSweetheart, I love you. I\u2019d marry you all over again.\u201d Court your wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNine: Remain faithful to your wife\u2014in action, deed, and in your thought life. Jesus said, \u201cAs a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.\u201d Some of you, in this stadium, right now\u2014in fact, it\u2019s more than some. It\u2019s a lot. You have a problem with pornography. There is not room in the marriage bed for three people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPornography\u2014gentlemen, listen to me. Pornography is one of the most hideous, gravest things that you could ever do to your wife. It is the most deceitful. It is an affair of the heart. It means that you are giving your heart\u2014your dreams\u2014to someone else, other than your wife. Some of you need to know that the most courageous thing you need to do is not share with the rest of the men here. The most courageous thing you need to do is to go back home and cleanse your computer. Then, get with a group of guys that you can talk about your problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause I want to tell you guys, right now\u2014right now, if we asked every man to be honest\u2014who\u2019s dabbling in this, and who\u2019s sampling on it, and who\u2019s channel-surfing and watching, and kind of lusting after it\u2014right now, if we did it, guys, over half of this stadium, I believe, would stand. You know what? That is to our shame, as men. But you know what? We do not have to live there. We do not have to live under the bondage, the guilt, the oppression of being enslaved to a yoke of lust. You promised your wife, guys\u2014you vowed, as a part of your covenant, that you would remain faithful\u2014fidelity. You may say, \u201cDennis, I don\u2019t have an affair going on.\u201d You may have one of the heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA tenth way that you can love your wife is by fulfilling your marriage covenant. It was more than a promise not to divorce. Your marriage covenant was a covenant to love, honor, cherish, care for, to sacrifice for, to give up your life on behalf of your wife. What I say to you guys, \u201cCome on! Do it! Life is too short! No reserve, no retreat, no regrets.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve listened to the first part of Coach Rainey\u2019s charge to the team. That\u2019s really a little bit of what it feels like. It\u2019s equipping. You\u2019re not just giving a pep talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s game time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you are challenging the team to leave it all out on the field.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You could hear it in my voice. I wanted to stop the message, right there, and have an altar call. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was ready. It was like: \u201cCome on, guys! Let\u2019s go!\u201d If we stopped right here, this is enough\u2014love your wives, care for them, lead them, cherish them, honor them. It is part of what we promised when we made our vow to our wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you look at guys today, do you think guys are getting this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think there\u2019s a movement of men, again, who do want to love their wives. They just need some mentors. They need to be discipled by some older guys. It\u2019s why, Bob, I\u2019m so passionate and pounding the table about our <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> video series because it really tees it up for a group of guys to get together\u2014whether it be 5 to 10 guys or 500 to 1,000 guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve seen it happen both ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have. All over the country, more than 50,000 guys have been through the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series, or event, in the last six months. It\u2019s just an opportunity for guys to connect with other guys, and to rub shoulders, and to be shaped, and challenged, and exhorted, and encouraged, and helped back up when they fail. Guys need all that. I mean, we\u2019re not perfect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I do think men do want to do this right. They are seeing the impact that the families they came from had on them. They want to do something better\u2014something that would be a greater gift to the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you talk about the need for mentors. In the <em>Stepping Up <\/em>video series, guys get an opportunity to be mentored by you, by Robert Lewis, by Bill Bennett, by Tony Dungy, by Mark Driscoll, by Matt Chandler, Voddie Baucham, Crawford Loritts. There is a great lineup of guys who have participated in this video series\u2014who are coaching men on all aspects of biblical manhood\u2014what it means to stand firm, as a man, what it means to take initiative, what it looks like to engage others with wisdom and with grace. And how do we plan ahead and provide for those who are under our protection and our care?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more about the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series when you go online to FamilyLifeToday.com. This may be something you want to go through, this summer, with a group of guys. It\u2019s easy enough to do. Anybody can do it. Just gather up four or five friends\u2014go through a session. They\u2019re about half-an-hour long. Spend some time in a workbook, and you\u2019re done. It\u2019s that simple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s some homework for you to do during the week so that you can get the maximum benefit from going through this material. If you want to see a sample of what we\u2019re talking about, there are a couple ways you can do that. We have some clips for you, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click the link for \u201c<em>Stepping Up\u201d<\/em>, and you\u2019ll see some video clips that are available from the series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr we will send you a copy of Dennis\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, at no cost. We\u2019ll send it to you free. All we ask is that you cover the cost of shipping and handling. We\u2019ll include, with the book, a DVD sampler that has all of Session One from the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series and the first half of Session One from the <em>Stepping Up <\/em>video event. You can get a preview of what the material looks like\u2014give you something to decide, \u201cIs this worth going through with a group of guys?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether you do it this summer, or whether you\u2019re starting to make plans for the fall, get in touch with us. Get a free copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, along with the DVD sampler. Just cover the postage and the handling, and we\u2019re happy to send it out to you. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order a copy of the book or with any questions you might have about the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> materials. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the message we\u2019ve been hearing from Dennis today is one of a couple of messages he presented at Promise Keepers events, all across the country\u2014maybe, a decade ago\u2014one of the other messages that Dennis presented at a Promise Keepers, years ago. This was in Jacksonville, Florida, at Jaguar Stadium. Dennis talked about how dads can be proactively engaged in protecting their teenagers by connecting with them, heart to heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of that message. In fact, we\u2019re making them available, this month, to anyone who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation. We\u2019re listener-supported. It is folks, like you, who make this daily radio program possible by making occasional donations. Or some of you are Legacy Partners and make a donation every month. We appreciate whatever you are able to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, when you make a donation, right now, we\u2019d like to send you a copy of Dennis\u2019s message, \u201cTurning Your Heart toward Your Children\u201d. It\u2019s a message for men. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone, and ask for the CD from Dennis Rainey called \u201cTurning Your Heart toward Your Children\u201d. We\u2019re happy to send it out to you, and we\u2019re grateful for your financial support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back again tomorrow. We\u2019re going to hear Part Two of Dennis\u2019s message\u2014this time, with coaching tips for us, as dads\u2014about how we can make the important spiritual handoff we need to make to our children. That comes up tomorrow. Hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.2M"],"filesize_raw":["23277897"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302757.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302757.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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leading your family?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-06-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Today, gentlemen, I want to talk to you about being the spiritual leader of your family. As I was preparing and praying about my time with you, the Lord stopped me, dead in my tracks, and said, \u201cI\u2019ve got something different for you to pass out, this time, at Promise Keepers.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to turn this stadium into a coach\u2019s corner. I want to give you 25 coaching tips about how you can be the leader of your wife, the lover of your wife, the servant of your wife, and the spiritual shepherd of your entire family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, June 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Guys, get ready. Coach Rainey has some thoughts for you. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. I have often wondered, \u201cIf you hadn\u2019t wound up at FamilyLife, I have wondered if\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019d have my own fishing show today. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Fishing and hunting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, I have thought something geared toward men. You would have gotten involved in some kind of ministry\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because whenever I hear you speaking to a group of men, I can tell there\u2019s something that gets activated inside of you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want to encourage men. I think men get beat up today. I think they need somebody to put their arm around them and say: \u201cYou can do this thing. You can be the man God\u2019s called you to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wrote a book called <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>. We\u2019ve come up with a DVD series\u2014that is a ten-week series for guys to go through. There\u2019s a one-day event\u2014that\u2019s a video event that guys can host for other men. It\u2019s all built around what is your life message for men\u2014that they need to step up and embrace God\u2019s design for them, as men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. A number of years ago, I had the privilege of speaking at one of the PK events in Stockton, California.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some listeners are young enough to know\u2014what\u2019s a PK event?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Promise Keepers. It was stadiums\u2014filled with men. I was there in Stockton. I have no idea\u2014I don\u2019t know, 40,000 guys, 50,000\u2014somewhere in there. Anyway, I was driving in, the night before, listening to John Maxwell preach. I thought: \u201cMan! He is inspiring.\u201d I really wondered if I had chosen the right message that I was getting ready to give the next day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was right on target because I thought, \u201cThe men don\u2019t need any more inspiration.\u201d John had done a good job doing that. I gave them practical application for how to be the spiritual lover and leader of their wives and their families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was one of those crazy messages you did\u2014where, instead of having three big ideas\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had the wild idea that I could somehow make 25 points in 35 minutes. This week, you\u2019re about to find out if I could do it. We may take all week doing this, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We just have what we have left. So, let\u2019s dive in. Here is a message\u2014it\u2019s a classic message, from more than a decade ago\u2014speaking to a crowd of guys in Stockton, California\u2014with 25 big ideas on how to spiritually lead your family. Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Over 100 years ago, a young man had just graduated from a Chicago high school. His name was William Borden, heir to the Borden dairy fortune. His father wanted to give him a very special gift, upon graduation from high school. He gave him three things: money to go on a trip around the world, a servant to help him, and a brand- new Bible. After a month of touring Africa, Asia, the Middle East, William had seen the pain and suffering, through the eyes of this Book\u2014through the eyes of God. He turned to the last page in his Bible and he wrote two words, \u201cNo Reserve\u201d. There was no holding back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWilliam Borden had a call upon his life. He enrolled at Yale University, as a freshman. Years later, graduated\u2014was courted by Wall Street. His family business needed him, but he turned his back upon fortunes because Jesus Christ had captured his heart. He enrolled at Princeton. He wrote, again in his Bible, two words underneath the first two, \u201cNo Retreat\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree years later, William Borden graduated and set out for the nation of China. On his way, William Borden stopped in Egypt, where he became ill. Thirty days later, William Borden died, at the age of 25. Weeks later, his father was rummaging through William Borden\u2019s Bible. He found that William Borden had added two additional words to his Bible. He found the phrases: \u201cNo reserve\u201d, \u201cNo retreat\u201d, \u201cNo regrets\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSix words\u2014gentlemen\u2014that I believe should challenge you and me to choose, <em>this day<\/em>, how we will live in our marriages and families. Today, gentlemen, I want to talk to you about being the spiritual leader of your family. As I was preparing and praying about my time with you, the Lord stopped me, dead in my tracks, and said, \u201cI\u2019ve got something different for you to pass out, this time, at Promise Keepers.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to turn this stadium into a locker room. I want to give you 25 coaching tips about how you can be the leader of your wife, the lover of your wife, the servant of your wife, and the spiritual shepherd of your entire family. Turn to page 23, get a pencil, and write them down. At the end, I\u2019m going to call you to do an exercise\u2014at the end of this message. You may have to write small.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one: Pray daily with your wife. Jeremiah 33:3 says, \u201cCall to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things.\u201d God is speaking. He\u2019s speaking to you. He says call upon Him. In verse six, He tells you what He will do. \u201cBehold,\u201d He says, \u201cI will bring it to health and healing, and I will heal them, and I will reveal to them an abundance of peace and truth.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow let\u2019s cut to the chase, guys. There are a lot of homes, in this stadium right now, that need an abundance of God\u2019s peace and God\u2019s truth. That will never happen unless you put your arm around your wife and pray with her. I can honestly tell you, gentlemen, I do not know if I would be standing right here today if I had not received the advice I received from a man, at the beginning of my marriage, to end every day in prayer with your wife. Whether you end the day with prayer with your wife, or you begin it in prayer with your wife, the issue, guys, is pray <em>daily<\/em> with your wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second thing you can do to be the spiritual leader of your wife\u2014you\u2019ll love this, guys\u2014write her an old-fashioned love letter\u2014not the kind you\u2019d like to receive. Write her the kind of letter <em>she<\/em> would like to receive. Any leader knows that if he is to be effective with his followers, he must do it by winning their heart. Guys, you must express love, in words, to your wife. Find fresh ways to do it. Write your wife a love letter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber three: I want to challenge you to discover, over the next 12 months, your wife\u2019s top three needs. Then, I want you to go all out! I want you to go on a <em>quest<\/em>\u2014a <em>quest<\/em> to meet your wife\u2019s top three needs. Do you know what they are? Right now, without asking her, do you know what is just knocking the slats out of her life\u2014what\u2019s discouraging her? Do you know what would cause her to blossom and bloom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs it an emotional need? Is it a need for conversation?\u2014a need for romance? Or is it a need for you to fix something around the house? Ooooh! Is there a need for you to ask her for forgiveness? Maybe, it\u2019s a need for <em>you<\/em> to lead the family out of debt\u2014to take your credit cards, and cut them up, and burn them. [Cheers]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt may be that your wife needs you to help with the dishes, or maybe serve her and the family by putting the kids to bed and letting her do some of her list that she needs to do. Maybe, there\u2019s a man, here, who has a wife, whose need is for you to stop abusing her\u2014to stop kicking her, slapping her, cursing her, abusing her emotionally with words. All I can say, guys, is I don\u2019t know why a man would do that; but some men do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to tell you\u2014no matter what you\u2019ve done, no matter how badly you\u2019ve failed\u2014the land is flat, at the foot of the cross. [Cheers] Jesus Christ welcomes anybody who will kneel and cry out, in humility of heart, \u201cGod, forgive me, a sinner.\u201d So, my statement to you\u2014if you\u2019re abusing your wife, \u201cRepent.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA fourth way to be the spiritual leader\u2014listen carefully\u2014this is highly scientific. Buy her a rose. Buy her the rose, take her in your arms, and hold her face gently\u2014not like one guy did, who was like he was grabbing a football. [Laughter] Hold her face gently. I want you to look into her eyes and say this: \u201cI want you to know that marrying you was the smartest thing I\u2019ve ever done, Sweetheart. I want you to know that I would do it all over again.\u201d [Cheers] Now, some of you guys may need to have an oxygen tank handy for resuscitation, at this point. [Laughter] Tell her you\u2019d marry her all over again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFifth: Plan weekend getaways for you and your wife. We had six children in ten years. My wife needed to get away. <em>We<\/em> needed to get away. What I did was I would arrange the babysitting. I would arrange the location, and I would make it as easy as possible for her to get away. We try to do this still\u2014two to three times a year\u2014two nights away from the telephone, from the To Do lists, and the mail. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you men need to stay home with the children and let her get away for a weekend alone with her best friend. I did that one time, guys. I\u2019m telling you\u2014I got a new wife back when she came back. Gentlemen, sometimes we have to do the thing that is sacrificial\u2014for our wives\u2014to love them. That\u2019s what communicates true, authentic Christian love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSixth: Read the Bible to her. You don\u2019t have to be a theologian. You don\u2019t have to be a professor. Just open the Book and read it. You say, \u201cWell, Dennis, I don\u2019t know where to begin.\u201d Let me give you some locations you can just read her. Just read her this chapter, sometime, over the next few days\u2014Philippians, Chapter 2\u2014that\u2019s a great passage of Scripture to read. Get the <em>Living Bible<\/em> so you both can understand it\u2014something simple. Isaiah 40 is a great chapter\u2014reminding us of who God is. Second Peter, Chapter 1, is a great reminder. If your wife is losing hope, read Romans 5, verses 1 through 10. And if you always want to turn to the Psalms, the Psalms are a great place to always read to your wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA seventh way to spiritually lead your wife and your family\u2014listen, carefully, guys. Replace the \u201cD\u201d word with the \u201cC\u201d word. Never, ever, ever again, from this day forward, in your marriage, ever use the word, \u201cdivorce\u201d. Never let it enter into your mind and come out your lips. Never use it again! Vow, before God Almighty, you will never use this word in any kind of conversation with your wife\u2014you\u2019ll never do it. Why? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause once a word is uttered, it can become a possibility. I\u2019m going to tell you guys, we are robbing a generation of knowing what it means to come from an intact family\u2014where two people are committed for a lifetime\u2014because we\u2019re selfish. It\u2019s time to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to the culture of divorce and say, \u201cYes,\u201d to the \u201cC\u201d word\u2014covenant and commitment\u2014because our God is a covenant-keeping God. [Applause] No leader\u2014no leader, who wants to be the spiritual leader of his family\u2014will knowingly create fear among those he is seeking to lead. Your assignment\u2014my assignment\u2014is to serve her\u2014give up my life for her in such a way that it will cast out all fear\u2014Ephesians, Chapter 5 tells me. Never ever again use the \u201cD\u201d word with your wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEight: Court your wife. Some of you guys have allowed marriage to rob your relationship of its romance. You may say, \u201cDoes God talk about courting?\u201d He sure does. You ought to take a look at the Book of Song of Solomon. Solomon knew how to court his bride. Now, the problem is guys\u2014you and I spell romance differently than how our wives spell it. You and I spell romance S-E-X. Our wives spell romance\u2014you ready for this?\u2014friendship, relationship, time to talk, conversation. They need to be courted. One of the best ways you can court your wife, guys, is\u2014in the middle of the day, from work, is just call her on the phone and say, \u201cHow\u2019s your day going, Sweetheart?\u201d Then, tell her, before you get off the phone: \u201cSweetheart, I love you. I\u2019d marry you all over again.\u201d Court your wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNine: Remain faithful to your wife\u2014in action, deed, and in your thought life. Jesus said, \u201cAs a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.\u201d Some of you, in this stadium, right now\u2014in fact, it\u2019s more than some. It\u2019s a lot. You have a problem with pornography. There is not room in the marriage bed for three people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPornography\u2014gentlemen, listen to me. Pornography is one of the most hideous, gravest things that you could ever do to your wife. It is the most deceitful. It is an affair of the heart. It means that you are giving your heart\u2014your dreams\u2014to someone else, other than your wife. Some of you need to know that the most courageous thing you need to do is not share with the rest of the men here. The most courageous thing you need to do is to go back home and cleanse your computer. Then, get with a group of guys that you can talk about your problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause I want to tell you guys, right now\u2014right now, if we asked every man to be honest\u2014who\u2019s dabbling in this, and who\u2019s sampling on it, and who\u2019s channel-surfing and watching, and kind of lusting after it\u2014right now, if we did it, guys, over half of this stadium, I believe, would stand. You know what? That is to our shame, as men. But you know what? We do not have to live there. We do not have to live under the bondage, the guilt, the oppression of being enslaved to a yoke of lust. You promised your wife, guys\u2014you vowed, as a part of your covenant, that you would remain faithful\u2014fidelity. You may say, \u201cDennis, I don\u2019t have an affair going on.\u201d You may have one of the heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA tenth way that you can love your wife is by fulfilling your marriage covenant. It was more than a promise not to divorce. Your marriage covenant was a covenant to love, honor, cherish, care for, to sacrifice for, to give up your life on behalf of your wife. What I say to you guys, \u201cCome on! Do it! Life is too short! No reserve, no retreat, no regrets.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve listened to the first part of Coach Rainey\u2019s charge to the team. That\u2019s really a little bit of what it feels like. It\u2019s equipping. You\u2019re not just giving a pep talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s game time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you are challenging the team to leave it all out on the field.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You could hear it in my voice. I wanted to stop the message, right there, and have an altar call. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was ready. It was like: \u201cCome on, guys! Let\u2019s go!\u201d If we stopped right here, this is enough\u2014love your wives, care for them, lead them, cherish them, honor them. It is part of what we promised when we made our vow to our wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you look at guys today, do you think guys are getting this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think there\u2019s a movement of men, again, who do want to love their wives. They just need some mentors. They need to be discipled by some older guys. It\u2019s why, Bob, I\u2019m so passionate and pounding the table about our <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> video series because it really tees it up for a group of guys to get together\u2014whether it be 5 to 10 guys or 500 to 1,000 guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve seen it happen both ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have. All over the country, more than 50,000 guys have been through the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series, or event, in the last six months. It\u2019s just an opportunity for guys to connect with other guys, and to rub shoulders, and to be shaped, and challenged, and exhorted, and encouraged, and helped back up when they fail. Guys need all that. I mean, we\u2019re not perfect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I do think men do want to do this right. They are seeing the impact that the families they came from had on them. They want to do something better\u2014something that would be a greater gift to the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you talk about the need for mentors. In the <em>Stepping Up <\/em>video series, guys get an opportunity to be mentored by you, by Robert Lewis, by Bill Bennett, by Tony Dungy, by Mark Driscoll, by Matt Chandler, Voddie Baucham, Crawford Loritts. There is a great lineup of guys who have participated in this video series\u2014who are coaching men on all aspects of biblical manhood\u2014what it means to stand firm, as a man, what it means to take initiative, what it looks like to engage others with wisdom and with grace. And how do we plan ahead and provide for those who are under our protection and our care?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more about the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series when you go online to FamilyLifeToday.com. This may be something you want to go through, this summer, with a group of guys. It\u2019s easy enough to do. Anybody can do it. Just gather up four or five friends\u2014go through a session. They\u2019re about half-an-hour long. Spend some time in a workbook, and you\u2019re done. It\u2019s that simple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s some homework for you to do during the week so that you can get the maximum benefit from going through this material. If you want to see a sample of what we\u2019re talking about, there are a couple ways you can do that. We have some clips for you, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click the link for \u201c<em>Stepping Up\u201d<\/em>, and you\u2019ll see some video clips that are available from the series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr we will send you a copy of Dennis\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, at no cost. We\u2019ll send it to you free. All we ask is that you cover the cost of shipping and handling. We\u2019ll include, with the book, a DVD sampler that has all of Session One from the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series and the first half of Session One from the <em>Stepping Up <\/em>video event. You can get a preview of what the material looks like\u2014give you something to decide, \u201cIs this worth going through with a group of guys?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether you do it this summer, or whether you\u2019re starting to make plans for the fall, get in touch with us. Get a free copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, along with the DVD sampler. Just cover the postage and the handling, and we\u2019re happy to send it out to you. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order a copy of the book or with any questions you might have about the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> materials. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the message we\u2019ve been hearing from Dennis today is one of a couple of messages he presented at Promise Keepers events, all across the country\u2014maybe, a decade ago\u2014one of the other messages that Dennis presented at a Promise Keepers, years ago. This was in Jacksonville, Florida, at Jaguar Stadium. Dennis talked about how dads can be proactively engaged in protecting their teenagers by connecting with them, heart to heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of that message. In fact, we\u2019re making them available, this month, to anyone who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation. We\u2019re listener-supported. It is folks, like you, who make this daily radio program possible by making occasional donations. Or some of you are Legacy Partners and make a donation every month. We appreciate whatever you are able to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, when you make a donation, right now, we\u2019d like to send you a copy of Dennis\u2019s message, \u201cTurning Your Heart toward Your Children\u201d. It\u2019s a message for men. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make a donation over the phone, and ask for the CD from Dennis Rainey called \u201cTurning Your Heart toward Your Children\u201d. We\u2019re happy to send it out to you, and we\u2019re grateful for your financial support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back again tomorrow. We\u2019re going to hear Part Two of Dennis\u2019s message\u2014this time, with coaching tips for us, as dads\u2014about how we can make the important spiritual handoff we need to make to our children. That comes up tomorrow. Hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302757","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302757"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302757"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302757"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302757"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302757"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302757"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302757"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}