{"id":302748,"date":"2013-05-29T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-05-29T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/characteristics-of-a-leader\/"},"modified":"2013-05-29T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-05-29T15:00:00","slug":"characteristics-of-a-leader","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/characteristics-of-a-leader\/","title":{"rendered":"Characteristics of a Leader"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>While vital on the battlefield, excellence is especially needed on the home front.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-05-29.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.47M","filesize_raw":"23561923","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2826],"tags":[4886],"podcast_series":[7947],"cwp_profile":[9302],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302748","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-men","tag-being-a-leader","podcast_series-the-leaders-code","cwp_profile-donovan-campbell","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302748\/characteristics-of-a-leader","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302748\/characteristics-of-a-leader","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"pZuXkjxX6P\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/characteristics-of-a-leader\/\">Characteristics of a Leader<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/characteristics-of-a-leader\/embed\/#?secret=pZuXkjxX6P\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Characteristics of a Leader&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"pZuXkjxX6P\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-05-29.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-05-29.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Donovan Campbell says he recognizes that, as a dad, what he does is more powerful\u2014more important\u2014than what he teaches his children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> When I think about what I\u2019m asking my girls to do\u2014I\u2019m asking them to pray each night\u2014well, \u201cDo I have the discipline to wake up and pray each morning?\u201d I mean, if I\u2019m going to ask these little girls, who are following me, and who I know are going to marry a man someday, \u201cAm I the kind of man that I want them to marry?\u201d And if I want that to happen, then: \u201cWhat do I have to do? What are the little pieces of discipline I have to adhere to\u2014to make that work?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, May 29<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Today, we\u2019ll hear what Donovan Campbell learned from the Marines about how he could be a better daddy. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Thanks for joining us. If you had to identify the character qualities that are involved in leadership, would courage be at the top of that list for you; do you think? I mean, you talk about courage so much that I\u2019d have to think that would be where you\u2019d start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It would be near the top, if not at the top, because I think, without courage, all the other virtues that make up leadership are really neutralized.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A leader has to move past his fear\u2014past obstacles\u2014and has to do his duty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But there has to be more than courage because, if there\u2019s courage and not the other virtues, then there\u2019s just craziness; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is. We have a guest with us who knows a little about that. Donovan Campbell joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Donovan, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Donovan is the author of <em>The Leader\u2019s Code.<\/em> He was a former Captain in the United States Marine Corps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Excuse me. Still a Captain, retired. Is that right? We don\u2019t call you a former Captain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> No, former Captain is the right word for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sorry. I stand corrected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan: <\/strong>It\u2019s on the cover of the book. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It had to be right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I wouldn\u2019t think Donovan would make that mistake. He\u2019s a graduate of Princeton\u2014went to Harvard Business School. He and his wife live in the Dallas\/Fort Worth area, along with their three daughters and a soon-to-be son. Congratulations on getting a guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Thanks. I\u2019m one of five boys. It had to happen, eventually. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You list a number of leadership characteristics: humility, kindness, excellence\u2014but there\u2019s one I want to talk about first because I love the story that you tell, at the beginning of the chapter about this. It\u2019s discipline\u2014that a leader\u2019s code, really, has to have discipline. You illustrate this with a story about your first pickup day as a Marine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Oh, my gosh. Yes. So, when people hear discipline, a lot of times, they immediately shrink back because that word has negative connotations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s like \u201cpunishment\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> They think it means punishment; that\u2019s exactly right. But really, it first entered the English language as a way to explain the systematic set of instructions that was given from a master to a pupil. Its Latin root is actually in the word \u201cdiscipula\u201d, which means student or school. We say \u201cdisciple\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Disciple, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Who\u2019s a learner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. So, when you join the Corps, you have to go through this thing called Marine Officer Candidate School. What it does is it screens people to determine whether they can survive the rigors of training and then in leading Marines into combat. So it\u2019s a ten-week thing. It really starts on pickup day. You\u2019ve been about\u2014a few days\u2014you\u2019ve already been there\u2014it\u2019s been relatively easy. You\u2019ve been kind of marched around, but you don\u2019t have your drill instructor yet\u2014the pace is kind of slow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, all of that changes on pickup day because on pickup day you\u2019re in the middle of this big gym. It\u2019s just like a big concrete slab with these tin walls. This Major gets up there. He gives a speech about what you\u2019re going to learn, and how important it is, and this journey you\u2019re about to embark on. You\u2019re sort of paying attention; but the reality is, you notice, out of the corner of your eye, like all these people are filing in. They\u2019re lining the walls, and you know those are the drill instructors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Major winds up with something. At that point, I was paying almost no attention because I was sort of getting really fearful of these guys who look like they\u2019ve just stepped out of an action figure box. They\u2019re perfect \u201cV\u2019s\u201d, and their clothes are all creased. As soon as that Major stops giving his speech, these people fly off the wall like they\u2019re shot out of a cannon. They just start screaming\u2014oh, my gosh\u2014\u201cGet your stuff! Pick it up! Pick it up now!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou grab these two big green C-bags you\u2019ve got, and this backpack, and just start running. You\u2019re running. You\u2019re freaking out because you\u2019ve never had someone, like an inch away from you, yelling at you before. It\u2019s just a very unusual experience\u2014telling you that you\u2019re slow, and that you\u2019re worthless, and all this sort of thing. You have guys who have a C-bag on their head and one on their stomach. You look like a set of pack mules that was packed by someone that was blind. It\u2019s just unbelievable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get to the tarmac. It\u2019s: \u201cDump your bags! Pick them up! You\u2019re too slow! Dump them again! You clearly have to practice!\u201d What they\u2019re starting to teach you is: \u201cYou don\u2019t know the way that things are done. We\u2019re going to prove that to you,\u201d somewhat violently, \u201cover, and over, and over.\u201d Eventually, you\u2019ll realize you need to learn a different way. You need to learn discipline. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So they break you before they rebuild you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. And the reason that they break you is because the Marines, unlike many other institutions that are on land, they still believe in absolute truth. They may not say it in those words; but that\u2019s what they believe\u2014just like we, as Christians, are taught to believe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they believe is this: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are absolute truths that work in leadership. There is no time, in our organization, for those truths that don\u2019t work because if you apply something that doesn\u2019t work, then people die. So, we have to convince you that this new truth we\u2019re going to teach you\u2014that you need to be virtuous if you want to lead, that you need to learn, and practice, and pursue specific virtues\u2014just like you would anything else you want to be good at. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to convince you that that is the correct way to look at the world. So, we have to break you down. When we break you down, we are humbling you, we are teaching you that you don\u2019t know everything, and we are teaching that you should accept our teaching because our teaching will save your life\u2014and more importantly\u2014will save the lives of the Marines that one day you will lead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why is this kind of breaking and humility important to form leaders?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Well, the breaking and humility is <em>critical<\/em> because, at its heart, humility is the virtue that allows you to put others before yourselves. That is, it is really the virtue that tells you: \u201cMy job is not to build myself up, or make myself look good, or seek power, or glory, or wealth, or fame. My job is something else.\u201d I can realize this because I\u2019ve been taught the value and the virtue of humility, which many people think just means thinking less of yourself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe whole point of what they were doing is they had to humble you to prepare you to learn, and to prepare you to accept that there is a standard, and that you need to adhere to it first\u2014and that then, you need to get others to adhere to it\u2014because you\u2019re modeling it. If they want to know what right looks like, they can look at you because you have the discipline necessary to model right\u2014and that you can\u2019t do that if you\u2019re not humble enough to admit that someone else knows a better way to do it than you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This works in the Marines because this is the way you build a fighting force that defends itself. It also works in families\u2014as moms and dads disciple\u2014as they train their children for battle\u2014because they\u2019re going to face it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re not recommending that dads get alongside their kids and go [shouting]: \u201cPut that down! Pick it up! You\u2019re stupid! You\u2019re slow!\u201d You\u2019re not thinking that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019ve never seen someone so slow and so worthless!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, I don\u2019t think so! I don\u2019t think so, but the principle of discipline, and training our children, and teaching them to rightly evaluate who they are and having humility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> It\u2019s true. It\u2019s a true principle. It works in the Marine Corps because it\u2019s true! It produces good military leadership because it\u2019s true! If it\u2019s true in that context, it\u2019s also true in the home context. So, if you think about humility, for example, one of the things I have to do to stay humble is I pursue intentional relationships with like-minded Christian men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe meet every Monday morning. They tell me when I\u2019m being a moron. They tell me when I\u2019m making a stupid career decision. They have no qualms about that. They really help me see myself as I am. When I think about what I\u2019m asking my girls to do\u2014I\u2019m asking them to pray each night\u2014well, \u201cDo I have the discipline to wake up and pray each morning?\u201d If I\u2019m going to ask these little girls, who are following me, and who I know are going to marry a man someday: \u201cAm I the kind of man that I want them to marry? Am I the kind of leader of my household that I hope will be the leader of their household?\u201d If I want them to know, \u201cWhat does a man looks like?\u201d can I tell them, \u201cLook at me\u201d? And if I want that to happen, then: \u201cWhat do I have to do? What are the little pieces of discipline I have to adhere to\u2014to make that work?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re also bleeding over into one of the other things you talk about\u2014which is a commitment to excellence\u2014as a part of leadership. You tell a story about a fellow soldier, who modeled for you this principle of excellence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> I will never forget Lieutenant Kurtz. The Marines have a very intense little-known, very secretive school called Infantry Officers Course. It is like the Marine version of Ranger school. You spend most of your time in the field. You eat one meal a day when you\u2019re out in the field. You carry <em>tons<\/em> of ammunition. You get very little sleep. You\u2019re hiking at all times of day and night. You\u2019re doing live fire, and you\u2019re working as a unit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThroughout this entire time, we had one guy, who did his best, no matter what. He was a pilot; he wasn\u2019t even an infantry officer. He was just the guy who knew he would one day be flying in support of Marines on the ground. So, he volunteered to go through their training to know what it was\u2014know what their life was like; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> I\u2019ll never forget\u2014at two a.m., someone could say, \u201cWe need someone to carry the radio.\u201d Kurtz would say: \u201cI got it. No problem.\u201d We\u2019d say: \u201cAlright, we have to hike the mortars out to the mortar field.\u201d It\u2019s a 14-mile or 10-mile hike, whatever it was\u2014long. \u201cSomeone has to carry the 80-pound two-barrel mortar.\u201d Kurtz: \u201cI got it. No problem.\u201d \u201cWe need someone to stand fire watch from four to five a.m.,\u201d\u2014the worst time because you know you can\u2019t go back to sleep. You\u2019re just going to miss an hour of sleep. Kurtz: \u201cNo problem. I\u2019ve got it.\u201d He did everything; and everything he did, he did well. He was not the smartest of us. He wasn\u2019t the most athletic. He was not the best tactician, but you know what? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe voted him the best leader in our class\u2014the first time, in history, a pilot had ever achieved it because he was the <em>only one<\/em>\u2014and I include myself in this\u2014he was <em>the only one<\/em>, who day-in and day-out, gave nothing less than his best. He humbled us by doing that. It was unbelievable to watch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You define excellence in an interesting way. I don\u2019t know how I would describe excellence. I\u2019ve always said our God created 40,000 different kinds of butterflies. He\u2019s a God who is into detail and into excellence. He believes in doing things right. But you have a different definition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> The way I view doing things right\u2014 or my definition, basically, is you give your best, regardless of the outcome\u2014regardless of whether you think that outcome is going to be good or going to be bad. You put into your day and your task the best energies that you have because you are blessed to have a day in which you can give your best. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTime is a gift, and I think our right response to the gift of time is excellence. I have a day. I have something I can do <em>today<\/em>, and I\u2019m going to give my best. It may not work out the way I want it to. I may not produce a masterpiece like Beethoven did. Heck, Beethoven wrote his <em>Ninth Symphony<\/em> and he never heard it; but he gave his <em>best<\/em> at it because he believed in excellence. That\u2019s kind of what I think excellence is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You tempered that a little bit, though. You talk about the need for balance when it comes to excellence. Explain what you mean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> You can\u2019t be narrowly-focused; right? I think it\u2019s really important\u2014as you think about excellence\u2014you think through, \u201cWhat does that look like across my life?\u201d Many people have seen the picture of Dick and Rick Hoyt. Dick Hoyt is a man who is pushing his son, who is in a wheelchair\u2014inspiration to millions. I mean, \u201cIf a father can push his son through 26.2 miles of a run because he loves him tremendously; then, surely, I can do this.\u201d I\u2019ve heard of many Marines who have been inspired to go running because of these guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what is less well-known is that because there was such a focus in Dick Hoyt\u2019s life on achieving these endurance races, his marriage fell apart. He said he did not seek for excellence in that other category of his life. I think it\u2019s really important, as we think about where we want to give excellently, we consider all facets of our life\u2014our faith, our family, our work, our friends, our communities.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like what you said there because I think it\u2019s easy for a man\u2014or for that matter, a woman\u2014to excel at work and ignore the family-front and not really have a sense of intentionality of where they\u2019re taking their marriage, where they\u2019re taking their children\u2014how they\u2019re creating discipline and training their children to become followers of Christ. We can\u2019t fail there. That\u2019s where the next generation is, ultimately, being shaped and launched\u2014as my friend Crawford Loritts says\u2014\u201c\u2026to a time we will not see.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Oh, it\u2019s so true. Psalms and Proverbs both describe children as \u201carrows in the hand of a warrior\u201d. We get to launch those arrows into the future. I think it is so easy to lose sight of the fact that, at least for me, there is only one man who can be a father to my daughters. There are many other men who can do what I do in my job; but there is only one man, on this entire earth, that can be a good daddy to my little girls\u2014and that\u2019s me. If I fail at that: \u201cMan! I\u2019ve failed at the only job that only I can do well. I don\u2019t want to fail at that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Most of our listeners have never been and will never get to Quantico, Virginia, to see the statue that you talk about there that really marked your picture of leadership; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. The statue is of William Leftwich. It is a statue of a man, with one arm pointed to his left\u2014his rifle is in that arm\u2014his body is clearly running in the direction of his outstretched rifle. His right arm is crooked; and it is beckoning those who, although unseen, are behind him. His head is pointed back at them. You can tell he\u2019s yelling something. Below that statue, it says simply, \u201cFollow me!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that, I think, is a phenomenal picture of leadership. It is: \u201cIf you want to know where to go, watch me. Follow me because I will be doing what I ask you to do, and I will be leading the way toward a mission that is worthy of being accomplished.\u201d This man, ultimately, died in Viet Nam because he went on every rescue mission for the Reconnaissance Marines that he sent out. One day, on the rescue mission of the men he commanded, his helicopter was shot down and he died. He was doing exactly what he asked his men to do. When he said, \u201cFollow me!\u201d they listened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just got off the phone with a corporate leader before coming into the studio. We were talking about the condition of marriages, across the country, and how there is moral chaos in our nation today around its most basic unit. I made this statement to him. I said: \u201cI believe it is time for grassroots men and women to pick up the Scriptures\u2014pick up the tools that ministries, like FamilyLife, have created that will make them very effective\u2014and begin to make a difference where they live\u2014in their communities, their churches, their neighborhoods, their businesses\u2014and do their duty, there, on behalf of what, I think, God wants to do in marriages and families.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe picture of what you\u2019re talking about\u2014of that warrior running in the direction of his weapon, beckoning others to, \u201cFollow me,\u201d\u2014I hope some of what our listeners hear, on a regular basis from us\u2014from Bob and me, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014is a similar call: \u201cFollow us as we follow Christ. Together, let\u2019s make a difference in marriages and families,\u201d because without you doing your duty\u2014without you, as an individual, stepping out and doing battle on behalf of marriages and families\u2014I fear our nation is going to continue to move into greater and greater chaos. It\u2019s what I appreciated about your book, <em>The Leader\u2019s Code,<\/em> when I ran across it. I thought, \u201cHe\u2019s on target because he begins the book talking about mission.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat\u2019s your mission?\u201d I think all of us\u2014not just pastors, not just \u201cChristian leaders\u201d, or people who can put their name on a book\u2014they\u2019re not the only ones on a mission.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Mission is for everybody.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> And that is what I love about what you are doing. It would give me such great hope because here is what\u2019s <em>outstanding<\/em> about this time in our country\u2014there is something worth fighting for. Heroes are not made in times of peace. Heroes are made during times of war\u2014during times of chaos. We, in America\u2014we have something worth fighting for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a time\u2014I think, a unique time in our nation\u2019s history\u2014where people are saying: \u201cWe don\u2019t like the leadership that we see, but we don\u2019t know what\u2019s different. We don\u2019t necessarily agree with everything that\u2019s going on, but we\u2019re not sure.\u201d This is one of the greatest times, I think\u2014in our history for the Christian Church, and for Christian men and women, and Christian families to raise their hand and say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know what? I\u2019m not perfect, but I know what right looks like. I\u2019m trying to put it into practice, and I know <em>why<\/em> I\u2019m trying to put it into practice. I have a Savior who died for me. My job is to bring that message, and to bring that kind of service, to the rest of the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to know how you can live your life well, and you want to know how you can make a difference in your communities, and you want to see a different model of leadership\u2014one that really works: \u201cHey, follow me. Look at me. Look at my family. Look at where we\u2019re serving. Look at how we love each other. Look at the way in which we are the hands and the feet of Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think if we can do that, we have a once-in-a-generation opportunity to really win the hearts and minds of our country\u2014and convince them that what we believe is true, and it\u2019s noble, and it\u2019s beautiful\u2014and it will bring meaning and purpose to their lives. It\u2019s an <em>awesome<\/em> cause to fight for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And an awesome privilege, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> It is an <em>awesome privilege<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it\u2019s a privilege to be in that battle with you, Donovan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Likewise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Thanks for being on our broadcast. I really do want to commend our listeners to get a copy of this book and to read it: <em>The Leader\u2019s Code<\/em>. It will help you as you do battle on behalf of families. I also want you, Bob, to share a little bit about a couple of the tools that we have that people can grab hold of because, after Donovan just gave that charge, I was ready to reenlist. There have to be some others out there going: \u201cGive me the tool! Give me the weapons! Let\u2019s go!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was thinking about guys getting together with other guys and going through Donovan\u2019s book\u2014maybe, going through the <em>Stepping Up\u2122 <\/em>ten-week video series that we put together, based on the book you wrote called <em>Stepping Up.<\/em> I think the combination of men getting together with other men and being challenged to step up\u2014being challenged to be a leader\u2014I think that\u2019s a powerful, potent combination. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it can change things in your life, and in the culture of your church, in the culture of your home. That\u2019s why we would encourage you\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Find out how you can get a copy of Donovan Campbell\u2019s book, <em>The Leader\u2019s Code.<\/em> Go through it with a group of guys this summer. Take a chapter every time you meet and talk about what you learned from that chapter. Or get together with guys and go through the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> ten-week video series this summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the resources we have available\u2014the book, <em>The Leader\u2019s Code<\/em>, by Donovan Campbell\u2014the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> material that\u2019s available from us, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you need information about any of these resources: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the toll-free number; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we are getting down to the wire. This Friday is the end of May. That means it\u2019s the last day we are able to receive donations that qualify for the matching-gift fund that we have, here at FamilyLife. Some of you know that we have some friends who came to us, a while back, and said: \u201cWe know that summertime has traditionally been a difficult time for ministries like yours. There is a decline in donations that often happens over the summer, and we hope that won\u2019t be the case for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this summer; but just in case, we\u2019d like to help you guys with a little surplus.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they offered to do was put together a matching-gift fund\u2014$603,000 in the fund\u2014but in order for us to take advantage of those funds, we had to raise the other $603,000. So, we\u2019ve been busy doing that, all this month. Many of you have donated. Thank you for that. We still have a little ways to go. Would you consider, today, going to FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make as generous a donation as you possibly can? Your donation, whatever it is, will be matched, dollar for dollar, out of our matching-gift fund. You can also call to make a donation. The toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the deadline is Friday. So, we\u2019d love to hear from you today. And please continue to pray for us\u2014that we would have listeners who respond to the challenge, and we\u2019d be able to take full advantage of these matching-gift funds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow. We\u2019re going to talk about what a daddy can do to knit his heart to his daughter\u2019s heart. We\u2019ll talk about dating your daughter on tomorrow\u2019s program. Hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.47M"],"filesize_raw":["23561923"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302748.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302748.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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vital on the battlefield, excellence is especially needed on the home front.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-05-29.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Donovan Campbell says he recognizes that, as a dad, what he does is more powerful\u2014more important\u2014than what he teaches his children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> When I think about what I\u2019m asking my girls to do\u2014I\u2019m asking them to pray each night\u2014well, \u201cDo I have the discipline to wake up and pray each morning?\u201d I mean, if I\u2019m going to ask these little girls, who are following me, and who I know are going to marry a man someday, \u201cAm I the kind of man that I want them to marry?\u201d And if I want that to happen, then: \u201cWhat do I have to do? What are the little pieces of discipline I have to adhere to\u2014to make that work?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, May 29<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Today, we\u2019ll hear what Donovan Campbell learned from the Marines about how he could be a better daddy. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Thanks for joining us. If you had to identify the character qualities that are involved in leadership, would courage be at the top of that list for you; do you think? I mean, you talk about courage so much that I\u2019d have to think that would be where you\u2019d start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It would be near the top, if not at the top, because I think, without courage, all the other virtues that make up leadership are really neutralized.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A leader has to move past his fear\u2014past obstacles\u2014and has to do his duty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But there has to be more than courage because, if there\u2019s courage and not the other virtues, then there\u2019s just craziness; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is. We have a guest with us who knows a little about that. Donovan Campbell joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Donovan, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Donovan is the author of <em>The Leader\u2019s Code.<\/em> He was a former Captain in the United States Marine Corps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Excuse me. Still a Captain, retired. Is that right? We don\u2019t call you a former Captain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> No, former Captain is the right word for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sorry. I stand corrected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan: <\/strong>It\u2019s on the cover of the book. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It had to be right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I wouldn\u2019t think Donovan would make that mistake. He\u2019s a graduate of Princeton\u2014went to Harvard Business School. He and his wife live in the Dallas\/Fort Worth area, along with their three daughters and a soon-to-be son. Congratulations on getting a guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Thanks. I\u2019m one of five boys. It had to happen, eventually. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You list a number of leadership characteristics: humility, kindness, excellence\u2014but there\u2019s one I want to talk about first because I love the story that you tell, at the beginning of the chapter about this. It\u2019s discipline\u2014that a leader\u2019s code, really, has to have discipline. You illustrate this with a story about your first pickup day as a Marine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Oh, my gosh. Yes. So, when people hear discipline, a lot of times, they immediately shrink back because that word has negative connotations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s like \u201cpunishment\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> They think it means punishment; that\u2019s exactly right. But really, it first entered the English language as a way to explain the systematic set of instructions that was given from a master to a pupil. Its Latin root is actually in the word \u201cdiscipula\u201d, which means student or school. We say \u201cdisciple\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Disciple, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Who\u2019s a learner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. So, when you join the Corps, you have to go through this thing called Marine Officer Candidate School. What it does is it screens people to determine whether they can survive the rigors of training and then in leading Marines into combat. So it\u2019s a ten-week thing. It really starts on pickup day. You\u2019ve been about\u2014a few days\u2014you\u2019ve already been there\u2014it\u2019s been relatively easy. You\u2019ve been kind of marched around, but you don\u2019t have your drill instructor yet\u2014the pace is kind of slow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, all of that changes on pickup day because on pickup day you\u2019re in the middle of this big gym. It\u2019s just like a big concrete slab with these tin walls. This Major gets up there. He gives a speech about what you\u2019re going to learn, and how important it is, and this journey you\u2019re about to embark on. You\u2019re sort of paying attention; but the reality is, you notice, out of the corner of your eye, like all these people are filing in. They\u2019re lining the walls, and you know those are the drill instructors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Major winds up with something. At that point, I was paying almost no attention because I was sort of getting really fearful of these guys who look like they\u2019ve just stepped out of an action figure box. They\u2019re perfect \u201cV\u2019s\u201d, and their clothes are all creased. As soon as that Major stops giving his speech, these people fly off the wall like they\u2019re shot out of a cannon. They just start screaming\u2014oh, my gosh\u2014\u201cGet your stuff! Pick it up! Pick it up now!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou grab these two big green C-bags you\u2019ve got, and this backpack, and just start running. You\u2019re running. You\u2019re freaking out because you\u2019ve never had someone, like an inch away from you, yelling at you before. It\u2019s just a very unusual experience\u2014telling you that you\u2019re slow, and that you\u2019re worthless, and all this sort of thing. You have guys who have a C-bag on their head and one on their stomach. You look like a set of pack mules that was packed by someone that was blind. It\u2019s just unbelievable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get to the tarmac. It\u2019s: \u201cDump your bags! Pick them up! You\u2019re too slow! Dump them again! You clearly have to practice!\u201d What they\u2019re starting to teach you is: \u201cYou don\u2019t know the way that things are done. We\u2019re going to prove that to you,\u201d somewhat violently, \u201cover, and over, and over.\u201d Eventually, you\u2019ll realize you need to learn a different way. You need to learn discipline. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So they break you before they rebuild you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. And the reason that they break you is because the Marines, unlike many other institutions that are on land, they still believe in absolute truth. They may not say it in those words; but that\u2019s what they believe\u2014just like we, as Christians, are taught to believe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they believe is this: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are absolute truths that work in leadership. There is no time, in our organization, for those truths that don\u2019t work because if you apply something that doesn\u2019t work, then people die. So, we have to convince you that this new truth we\u2019re going to teach you\u2014that you need to be virtuous if you want to lead, that you need to learn, and practice, and pursue specific virtues\u2014just like you would anything else you want to be good at. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to convince you that that is the correct way to look at the world. So, we have to break you down. When we break you down, we are humbling you, we are teaching you that you don\u2019t know everything, and we are teaching that you should accept our teaching because our teaching will save your life\u2014and more importantly\u2014will save the lives of the Marines that one day you will lead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why is this kind of breaking and humility important to form leaders?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Well, the breaking and humility is <em>critical<\/em> because, at its heart, humility is the virtue that allows you to put others before yourselves. That is, it is really the virtue that tells you: \u201cMy job is not to build myself up, or make myself look good, or seek power, or glory, or wealth, or fame. My job is something else.\u201d I can realize this because I\u2019ve been taught the value and the virtue of humility, which many people think just means thinking less of yourself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe whole point of what they were doing is they had to humble you to prepare you to learn, and to prepare you to accept that there is a standard, and that you need to adhere to it first\u2014and that then, you need to get others to adhere to it\u2014because you\u2019re modeling it. If they want to know what right looks like, they can look at you because you have the discipline necessary to model right\u2014and that you can\u2019t do that if you\u2019re not humble enough to admit that someone else knows a better way to do it than you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This works in the Marines because this is the way you build a fighting force that defends itself. It also works in families\u2014as moms and dads disciple\u2014as they train their children for battle\u2014because they\u2019re going to face it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re not recommending that dads get alongside their kids and go [shouting]: \u201cPut that down! Pick it up! You\u2019re stupid! You\u2019re slow!\u201d You\u2019re not thinking that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019ve never seen someone so slow and so worthless!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, I don\u2019t think so! I don\u2019t think so, but the principle of discipline, and training our children, and teaching them to rightly evaluate who they are and having humility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> It\u2019s true. It\u2019s a true principle. It works in the Marine Corps because it\u2019s true! It produces good military leadership because it\u2019s true! If it\u2019s true in that context, it\u2019s also true in the home context. So, if you think about humility, for example, one of the things I have to do to stay humble is I pursue intentional relationships with like-minded Christian men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe meet every Monday morning. They tell me when I\u2019m being a moron. They tell me when I\u2019m making a stupid career decision. They have no qualms about that. They really help me see myself as I am. When I think about what I\u2019m asking my girls to do\u2014I\u2019m asking them to pray each night\u2014well, \u201cDo I have the discipline to wake up and pray each morning?\u201d If I\u2019m going to ask these little girls, who are following me, and who I know are going to marry a man someday: \u201cAm I the kind of man that I want them to marry? Am I the kind of leader of my household that I hope will be the leader of their household?\u201d If I want them to know, \u201cWhat does a man looks like?\u201d can I tell them, \u201cLook at me\u201d? And if I want that to happen, then: \u201cWhat do I have to do? What are the little pieces of discipline I have to adhere to\u2014to make that work?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re also bleeding over into one of the other things you talk about\u2014which is a commitment to excellence\u2014as a part of leadership. You tell a story about a fellow soldier, who modeled for you this principle of excellence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> I will never forget Lieutenant Kurtz. The Marines have a very intense little-known, very secretive school called Infantry Officers Course. It is like the Marine version of Ranger school. You spend most of your time in the field. You eat one meal a day when you\u2019re out in the field. You carry <em>tons<\/em> of ammunition. You get very little sleep. You\u2019re hiking at all times of day and night. You\u2019re doing live fire, and you\u2019re working as a unit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThroughout this entire time, we had one guy, who did his best, no matter what. He was a pilot; he wasn\u2019t even an infantry officer. He was just the guy who knew he would one day be flying in support of Marines on the ground. So, he volunteered to go through their training to know what it was\u2014know what their life was like; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> I\u2019ll never forget\u2014at two a.m., someone could say, \u201cWe need someone to carry the radio.\u201d Kurtz would say: \u201cI got it. No problem.\u201d We\u2019d say: \u201cAlright, we have to hike the mortars out to the mortar field.\u201d It\u2019s a 14-mile or 10-mile hike, whatever it was\u2014long. \u201cSomeone has to carry the 80-pound two-barrel mortar.\u201d Kurtz: \u201cI got it. No problem.\u201d \u201cWe need someone to stand fire watch from four to five a.m.,\u201d\u2014the worst time because you know you can\u2019t go back to sleep. You\u2019re just going to miss an hour of sleep. Kurtz: \u201cNo problem. I\u2019ve got it.\u201d He did everything; and everything he did, he did well. He was not the smartest of us. He wasn\u2019t the most athletic. He was not the best tactician, but you know what? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe voted him the best leader in our class\u2014the first time, in history, a pilot had ever achieved it because he was the <em>only one<\/em>\u2014and I include myself in this\u2014he was <em>the only one<\/em>, who day-in and day-out, gave nothing less than his best. He humbled us by doing that. It was unbelievable to watch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You define excellence in an interesting way. I don\u2019t know how I would describe excellence. I\u2019ve always said our God created 40,000 different kinds of butterflies. He\u2019s a God who is into detail and into excellence. He believes in doing things right. But you have a different definition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> The way I view doing things right\u2014 or my definition, basically, is you give your best, regardless of the outcome\u2014regardless of whether you think that outcome is going to be good or going to be bad. You put into your day and your task the best energies that you have because you are blessed to have a day in which you can give your best. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTime is a gift, and I think our right response to the gift of time is excellence. I have a day. I have something I can do <em>today<\/em>, and I\u2019m going to give my best. It may not work out the way I want it to. I may not produce a masterpiece like Beethoven did. Heck, Beethoven wrote his <em>Ninth Symphony<\/em> and he never heard it; but he gave his <em>best<\/em> at it because he believed in excellence. That\u2019s kind of what I think excellence is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You tempered that a little bit, though. You talk about the need for balance when it comes to excellence. Explain what you mean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> You can\u2019t be narrowly-focused; right? I think it\u2019s really important\u2014as you think about excellence\u2014you think through, \u201cWhat does that look like across my life?\u201d Many people have seen the picture of Dick and Rick Hoyt. Dick Hoyt is a man who is pushing his son, who is in a wheelchair\u2014inspiration to millions. I mean, \u201cIf a father can push his son through 26.2 miles of a run because he loves him tremendously; then, surely, I can do this.\u201d I\u2019ve heard of many Marines who have been inspired to go running because of these guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what is less well-known is that because there was such a focus in Dick Hoyt\u2019s life on achieving these endurance races, his marriage fell apart. He said he did not seek for excellence in that other category of his life. I think it\u2019s really important, as we think about where we want to give excellently, we consider all facets of our life\u2014our faith, our family, our work, our friends, our communities.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like what you said there because I think it\u2019s easy for a man\u2014or for that matter, a woman\u2014to excel at work and ignore the family-front and not really have a sense of intentionality of where they\u2019re taking their marriage, where they\u2019re taking their children\u2014how they\u2019re creating discipline and training their children to become followers of Christ. We can\u2019t fail there. That\u2019s where the next generation is, ultimately, being shaped and launched\u2014as my friend Crawford Loritts says\u2014\u201c\u2026to a time we will not see.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Oh, it\u2019s so true. Psalms and Proverbs both describe children as \u201carrows in the hand of a warrior\u201d. We get to launch those arrows into the future. I think it is so easy to lose sight of the fact that, at least for me, there is only one man who can be a father to my daughters. There are many other men who can do what I do in my job; but there is only one man, on this entire earth, that can be a good daddy to my little girls\u2014and that\u2019s me. If I fail at that: \u201cMan! I\u2019ve failed at the only job that only I can do well. I don\u2019t want to fail at that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Most of our listeners have never been and will never get to Quantico, Virginia, to see the statue that you talk about there that really marked your picture of leadership; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. The statue is of William Leftwich. It is a statue of a man, with one arm pointed to his left\u2014his rifle is in that arm\u2014his body is clearly running in the direction of his outstretched rifle. His right arm is crooked; and it is beckoning those who, although unseen, are behind him. His head is pointed back at them. You can tell he\u2019s yelling something. Below that statue, it says simply, \u201cFollow me!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that, I think, is a phenomenal picture of leadership. It is: \u201cIf you want to know where to go, watch me. Follow me because I will be doing what I ask you to do, and I will be leading the way toward a mission that is worthy of being accomplished.\u201d This man, ultimately, died in Viet Nam because he went on every rescue mission for the Reconnaissance Marines that he sent out. One day, on the rescue mission of the men he commanded, his helicopter was shot down and he died. He was doing exactly what he asked his men to do. When he said, \u201cFollow me!\u201d they listened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just got off the phone with a corporate leader before coming into the studio. We were talking about the condition of marriages, across the country, and how there is moral chaos in our nation today around its most basic unit. I made this statement to him. I said: \u201cI believe it is time for grassroots men and women to pick up the Scriptures\u2014pick up the tools that ministries, like FamilyLife, have created that will make them very effective\u2014and begin to make a difference where they live\u2014in their communities, their churches, their neighborhoods, their businesses\u2014and do their duty, there, on behalf of what, I think, God wants to do in marriages and families.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe picture of what you\u2019re talking about\u2014of that warrior running in the direction of his weapon, beckoning others to, \u201cFollow me,\u201d\u2014I hope some of what our listeners hear, on a regular basis from us\u2014from Bob and me, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014is a similar call: \u201cFollow us as we follow Christ. Together, let\u2019s make a difference in marriages and families,\u201d because without you doing your duty\u2014without you, as an individual, stepping out and doing battle on behalf of marriages and families\u2014I fear our nation is going to continue to move into greater and greater chaos. It\u2019s what I appreciated about your book, <em>The Leader\u2019s Code,<\/em> when I ran across it. I thought, \u201cHe\u2019s on target because he begins the book talking about mission.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat\u2019s your mission?\u201d I think all of us\u2014not just pastors, not just \u201cChristian leaders\u201d, or people who can put their name on a book\u2014they\u2019re not the only ones on a mission.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Mission is for everybody.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> And that is what I love about what you are doing. It would give me such great hope because here is what\u2019s <em>outstanding<\/em> about this time in our country\u2014there is something worth fighting for. Heroes are not made in times of peace. Heroes are made during times of war\u2014during times of chaos. We, in America\u2014we have something worth fighting for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a time\u2014I think, a unique time in our nation\u2019s history\u2014where people are saying: \u201cWe don\u2019t like the leadership that we see, but we don\u2019t know what\u2019s different. We don\u2019t necessarily agree with everything that\u2019s going on, but we\u2019re not sure.\u201d This is one of the greatest times, I think\u2014in our history for the Christian Church, and for Christian men and women, and Christian families to raise their hand and say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know what? I\u2019m not perfect, but I know what right looks like. I\u2019m trying to put it into practice, and I know <em>why<\/em> I\u2019m trying to put it into practice. I have a Savior who died for me. My job is to bring that message, and to bring that kind of service, to the rest of the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to know how you can live your life well, and you want to know how you can make a difference in your communities, and you want to see a different model of leadership\u2014one that really works: \u201cHey, follow me. Look at me. Look at my family. Look at where we\u2019re serving. Look at how we love each other. Look at the way in which we are the hands and the feet of Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think if we can do that, we have a once-in-a-generation opportunity to really win the hearts and minds of our country\u2014and convince them that what we believe is true, and it\u2019s noble, and it\u2019s beautiful\u2014and it will bring meaning and purpose to their lives. It\u2019s an <em>awesome<\/em> cause to fight for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And an awesome privilege, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> It is an <em>awesome privilege<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it\u2019s a privilege to be in that battle with you, Donovan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donovan:<\/strong> Likewise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Thanks for being on our broadcast. I really do want to commend our listeners to get a copy of this book and to read it: <em>The Leader\u2019s Code<\/em>. It will help you as you do battle on behalf of families. I also want you, Bob, to share a little bit about a couple of the tools that we have that people can grab hold of because, after Donovan just gave that charge, I was ready to reenlist. There have to be some others out there going: \u201cGive me the tool! Give me the weapons! Let\u2019s go!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was thinking about guys getting together with other guys and going through Donovan\u2019s book\u2014maybe, going through the <em>Stepping Up\u2122 <\/em>ten-week video series that we put together, based on the book you wrote called <em>Stepping Up.<\/em> I think the combination of men getting together with other men and being challenged to step up\u2014being challenged to be a leader\u2014I think that\u2019s a powerful, potent combination. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it can change things in your life, and in the culture of your church, in the culture of your home. That\u2019s why we would encourage you\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Find out how you can get a copy of Donovan Campbell\u2019s book, <em>The Leader\u2019s Code.<\/em> Go through it with a group of guys this summer. Take a chapter every time you meet and talk about what you learned from that chapter. Or get together with guys and go through the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> ten-week video series this summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the resources we have available\u2014the book, <em>The Leader\u2019s Code<\/em>, by Donovan Campbell\u2014the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> material that\u2019s available from us, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you need information about any of these resources: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the toll-free number; 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we are getting down to the wire. This Friday is the end of May. That means it\u2019s the last day we are able to receive donations that qualify for the matching-gift fund that we have, here at FamilyLife. Some of you know that we have some friends who came to us, a while back, and said: \u201cWe know that summertime has traditionally been a difficult time for ministries like yours. There is a decline in donations that often happens over the summer, and we hope that won\u2019t be the case for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this summer; but just in case, we\u2019d like to help you guys with a little surplus.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they offered to do was put together a matching-gift fund\u2014$603,000 in the fund\u2014but in order for us to take advantage of those funds, we had to raise the other $603,000. So, we\u2019ve been busy doing that, all this month. Many of you have donated. Thank you for that. We still have a little ways to go. Would you consider, today, going to FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make as generous a donation as you possibly can? Your donation, whatever it is, will be matched, dollar for dollar, out of our matching-gift fund. You can also call to make a donation. The toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the deadline is Friday. So, we\u2019d love to hear from you today. And please continue to pray for us\u2014that we would have listeners who respond to the challenge, and we\u2019d be able to take full advantage of these matching-gift funds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow. We\u2019re going to talk about what a daddy can do to knit his heart to his daughter\u2019s heart. We\u2019ll talk about dating your daughter on tomorrow\u2019s program. Hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302748","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302748"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302748"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302748"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302748"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302748"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302748"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302748"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}