{"id":302703,"date":"2013-03-18T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-18T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/bridging-the-gap-of-interracial-adoption\/"},"modified":"2013-03-18T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-03-18T15:00:00","slug":"bridging-the-gap-of-interracial-adoption","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/bridging-the-gap-of-interracial-adoption\/","title":{"rendered":"Bridging the Gap of Interracial Adoption"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ryan Bomberger\u2019s birth mother was raped and she could have chosen abortion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-03-18.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.83M","filesize_raw":"24989391","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818],"tags":[2712],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9292],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302703","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","tag-adoption","cwp_profile-ryan-bomberger","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302703\/bridging-the-gap-of-interracial-adoption","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302703\/bridging-the-gap-of-interracial-adoption","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"anEpBYObev\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/bridging-the-gap-of-interracial-adoption\/\">Bridging the Gap of Interracial Adoption<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/bridging-the-gap-of-interracial-adoption\/embed\/#?secret=anEpBYObev\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Bridging the Gap of Interracial Adoption&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"anEpBYObev\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-03-18.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-03-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When Ryan Bomberger was adopted\u2014he was an African-American baby\u2014his new parents were white. It was not common, at that point. In fact, a number of people looked down on it, including Ryan Bomberger\u2019s new grandfather.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I grew up in Lancaster County. The area we grew up was a majority white area; but unfortunately, my mom had to deal with a father who could not separate his deep-seated racist feelings. In fact, he said, \u201cIf you bring in this black child (he used another word for that) into your home, I\u2019ll have nothing to do with you.\u201d So, she and my dad had to make that choice; and they made that decision between her father and her newborn son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, March 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to kick things off today by taking you to a live recording that took place almost a year ago at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in California. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, without looking at your schedule\u2014and I know how crowded your schedule gets\u2014I always know that there are a few dates every year that are blocked out and kind of sacred. You\u2019ve been at every Orphan Summit since we hosted the first one, back at FamilyLife headquarters. There were about 35 people in the room; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. There have been eight of them. We\u2019re here live with the audience of\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes! In fact, we have a live studio audience joining us. [Applause and cheers] Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Barbara and I really believe in the issue of the orphan, and going near the orphan, and talking about adoption and foster care. We count it a privilege to be a part of giving voice to those who don\u2019t have a voice. In fact, over the years, I\u2019ve said one of the big problems in the Christian community, I think, is we\u2019ve done a fairly good job of being pro-life; but we haven\u2019t done a good job of being pro-life and pro-orphan\u2014pro-adoption. If we could overturn the laws and have abortion overruled, there would be hundreds of thousands of babies. The Christian community\u2014because it hasn\u2019t been pro-adoption\u2014I think they\u2019d be overwhelmed by it. We\u2019ve got someone here with us today\u2014Ryan Bomberger\u2014who has a compelling story of both pro-life and pro-adoption. Ryan, welcome to our broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Thank you. It\u2019s great to be here. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Ryan is married to his wife, Bethany. She\u2019s somewhere in the audience. Bethany, would you stand up? Where are you? Stand up down there. There she is! [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey live in Virginia Beach, along with their four children, and give leadership to The Radiance Foundation, which is a life-affirming non-profit. We\u2019ll talk more about that later. Ryan is an Emmy Award-winning creative professional. He\u2019s a blogger, a speaker, a writer, and a champion for the value of human life. Ryan, there have been a lot of folks who\u2019ve invested in your life\u2014a lot of heroes who\u2019ve invested heavily in your life. Tell us about the first hero and her story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> The first hero would be my birth mom. It\u2019s amazing! When you think of courage and strength, personified\u2014a lot of times, people don\u2019t think of birth moms as some of the first people\u2014especially, when they face circumstances like my birth mom did. I\u2019m one of those cases that even pro-lifers have an issue with sometimes. I\u2019m one of those marginal cases\u2014the fringe case\u2014that even pro-lifers will write-off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy biological mother was raped; and yet, despite that unspeakable trauma, she went through nine months of pregnancy\u2014choosing, courageously, life! I\u2019d have to say she\u2019s my first hero\u2014I wouldn\u2019t be here speaking to you\u2014that would be kind of a problem\u2014you\u2019d have an empty seat, right here, or somebody else. She\u2019s absolutely my first hero. I cannot imagine what she went through\u2014the unspeakable violence. But her courage showed that beauty can rise from the ashes of something so unspeakable. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Obviously, you didn\u2019t know the details until later, but you learned that she had a lot of anger, during that pregnancy, and even up until the moment you were born; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. I actually had the privilege of speaking\u2014I found the social worker who handled the adoption case. She explained to me that my biological mother was angry\u2014as did my mom. These were the notes given to them by the agency. She was really angry and hurt. Of course, you can understand that. She didn\u2019t want to even see me. She kept saying she didn\u2019t want to see me. As soon as she gave birth, she just wanted to separate; but there was a change. The social worker noticed, when I was born, she asked to be able to see me and to hold me. I don\u2019t know what broke, but obviously something broke. The social worker said she even smiled. She felt like there was a moment of healing, at that point in time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were adopted by a family\u2014of all places\u2014in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Oh, yes! Apple dumplings and whoopee pies! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And when you were adopted, they already had three biological children?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes, they had three homemade ones. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were the first import\u2014is that what we call you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I was the first import, yes! I was an exotic import. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> An exotic import! That\u2019s a good way to say it; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. They didn\u2019t know what to do with me. I was special.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In fact, it was an exotic choice and one that cost your mom\u2014in making the choice to bring you into the family, there was a price she paid.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes, I mean, I grew up in Lancaster County. The area we grew up in was a majority white area; but unfortunately, my mom had to deal with a father who could not separate his deep-seated racist feelings. In fact, he said\u2014and I don\u2019t know if I can say this on your broadcast\u2014he said, \u201cIf you bring in this black child (he used another word for that) into your home, I\u2019ll have nothing to do with you.\u201d So, she had to make the decision between her father and her newborn son. She chose well. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just saying! But, seriously, I mean, the pain that she had to go through. She had to lose a father in order to gain a son. I think it represents that sacrifice that parents go through, on a regular basis. Whether you\u2019re an adoptive parent or not, there is always sacrifice. But she and my dad had to make that choice, and they made that choice. So, she did lose her father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Why do you think she made that choice?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> She knew there was a greater calling. She was abandoned, as a child. That\u2019s where it all started. She was abandoned, as a child, because her alcoholic father and her mother were separating. She was put in an orphanage. At the age of five, she made a promise to God that she would be a mommy to those who didn\u2019t have one. It was something that was in her heart for a long time. So, that wasn\u2019t enough of an obstacle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe knew that God had called her to be a mommy and to love <em>the mess<\/em> out of children who didn\u2019t have someone to call \u201cMommy\u201d or \u201cDaddy\u201d. It was painful for her\u2014extremely painful\u2014but she knew that God had called her to help unleash purpose in the children that she had adopted\u2014ten of us, by the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You met Bethany at college. She was engaged in this arena, as a single lady, as well; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, she headed a committee\u2014this is how we met. It was a love-at-first-sight moment. She was heading a committee, where I was singing in this group called Surreal. We were doing a benefit concert for a Crisis Pregnancy Center. We locked eyes and, \u201cWow!\u201d Anyway, the whole world changed. She has always had a heart for those who are broken. She\u2019s a teacher, by profession; and she is my better half. She\u2019s also the one in charge of The Radiance Foundation\u2014I have no problem with a woman being in charge! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSee, all the guys are kind of quiet; the women clapping, \u201cWooh!\u201d [Laughter] But her heart was in it. Our story\u2014part of The Radiance Foundation story is predicated, even, on her own experience\u2014having been a single mom for a year and knowing what that\u2019s like. That\u2019s why we identify and we reach out to birth moms. So, she knows that experience. I know\u2014coming in, as a father\u2014being a father to our daughter, Hailey Radiance. Our organization is actually named after her. So, we can identify. We know what it feels like to be in that broken place. We have a heart to see how hope, how love, how truth can transform.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> As you dated, did you guys talk about adopting\u2014about the needs of orphans? I mean, obviously, you were raising money for a crisis pregnancy unit, there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, when we first dated, I remember walking on a path outside and talking about, \u201cYes! We\u2019re going to have \u2018x\u2019 number of children!\u201d Whew, it\u2019s amazing how things can change when you get married and have a few first! [Laughter] Just being on this side of the equation\u2014being an adoptee, you have one perspective. Being the parent, you have another. I think what ends up happening is\u2014that we have this openness to where God wants to lead us. We aren\u2019t setting these parameters. We\u2019re saying, \u201cGod, use us.\u201d With four children right now\u2014our youngest, being adopted\u2014our most recent adoption\u2014we\u2019re just open to where God leads us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You learned some of your story, you said, from the social worker and, of course, from your mom. Did you ever try to seek out your birth mom? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I did. It\u2019s amazing how many times people have had this sort of talk show-mentality that there\u2019s always this blissful reunion when biological child reunites with the biological parent. That\u2019s mostly untrue. I know\u2014get that, \u201cTVs mostly untrue.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found that\u2014most of my siblings\u2014or some of my siblings that did reconnect\u2014it wasn\u2019t this joyous occasion. But I wanted to pursue finding her because I didn\u2019t want a relationship, but I wanted to be able to thank her. I had written a song called <em>Meant to Be<\/em>, which is the music behind this video that I call <em>Unwanted<\/em>. I want her to have a copy of it. It is my way of just saying, \u201cThank you for going through nine months of traumatic pregnancy. You allowed me to be loved and to love others.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the court unsealed my adoption records; and they pursued her. They could not find her. So, they kept it open for about three months longer than normal; but there was no response. At this time, I\u2019ve not been able to reconnect. But all I really want to do is have that conversation\u2014that is, my song, <em>Meant to Be<\/em>, and thanking her\u2014even though words are insufficient sometimes to say to a birth mom, \u201cThank you for giving me life.\u201d But it was my attempt to thank her. I believe that one day\u2014some day, I actually may connect with her. I can\u2019t wait to have that conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You are obviously pro-life\u2014staunch\u2014a little bit\u2014[Laughter] \u2014and pro-orphan\u2014pro-adoption. Speak to the Christian community about why we need to keep those in proper tension and be going near the needs of the orphan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, being pro-life\u2014I think we\u2019re often too comfortable with a very narrow definition of what that means. It\u2019s kind of like when I think of slavery in America. It\u2019s kind of saying: \u201cYes, I\u2019m pro-emancipation of slaves, but I\u2019m not going to worry about racism or citizenship. Let\u2019s not worry about the 14<sup>th<\/sup> Amendment or the 15<sup>th<\/sup> Amendment to give black people the right to vote. It was good enough that they were just emancipated.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s only <em>part <\/em>of the equation. And, so, what I want to speak to Christians\u2014and a lot of times, it\u2019s simply just a matter of not being aware\u2014which is what we try to do through The Radiance Foundation\u2014which <em>many<\/em> organizations, represented here, do\u2014it\u2019s education\u2014it\u2019s reaching, heart-to-heart\u2014to have people\u2019s minds and their spirit open up to what it really means to be pro-life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You also are a champion for birth mothers. It seems like\u2014at points, those of us in the Christian communities\u2014as we see a young lady, who is pregnant outside of marriage\u2014we can tend to be on the judgmental side, rather than coming alongside her and cheering her on for protecting unborn life and, then, doing what is almost the unthinkable\u2014being so courageous as to take that life, that has been carried for nine months, and placing it in the arms of another family. Speak, from your heart, about birth mothers and how the Christian community needs to really be advocates for birth moms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I think it should be a natural out flowing of us, as Christians, who are called to love one another. It should be part of our DNA. I mean, there\u2019s no salvation without adoption. Yet, when it comes to birth moms, we tend to forget that we have also been redeemed from something. So, unfortunately, we don\u2019t focus enough on loving and cherishing these women, who are often abandoned, sadly, by the men who were part\u2014you know\u2014the 50 percent of that biological equation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we launched, through The Radiance Foundation, something called SallysLambs.org.<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> It\u2019s our way of cherishing birth moms, while celebrating adoption. We want to bring focus to these women who do make that choice and come alongside of them\u2014provide the resources\u2014material, emotional, spiritual\u2014because there <em>has<\/em> to be that focus. It\u2019s just part of what we do through The Radiance Foundation. I know there are many out there who do the same thing, on a one-to-one level or through their organizations; but I think we need to increase that focus for those of us who consider ourselves pro-life and are advocates of adoption. You can\u2019t advocate adoption without loving all of those involved in that whole equation. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, I agree with that! The Radiance Foundation, a number of years ago, took on a pretty delicate issue, within the African-American community. You gained national exposure. Explain what you did and what happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, we decided that we were going to take on two of the easiest topics\u2014you know, non-controversial topics\u2014abortion and race\u2014[Laughter] \u2014and launch an ad campaign in the Deep South, where, apparently, the Civil War just ended, there!\u00a0 [Laughter] So, yes, there were like sparks flying. It was crazy! I would read some of the reports\u2014you know, about who I was\u2014because the news media is always trying to divide. If you haven\u2019t noticed, that\u2019s what they love to do\u2014to divide instead of saying what is truly going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe wanted to launch this campaign because of the disproportionate impact in the black community. It\u2019s kind of like a breast cancer awareness campaign. I mean, how many of us have seen breast cancer awareness ads featuring men?\u2014none. But it features women because they\u2019re the demographic most impacted. We took that same approach. So, it was the first public ad campaign: \u201cTooManyAborted.com\u201d\u2014billboards that said, \u201cBlack children are an endangered species\u2014TooManyAborted.com.\u201d [They are] more endangered, from death by abortion, than any other racial demographic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, abortion occurs up to 5.8 times more in the black community than in the majority population. Where that happens is the home of Planned Parenthood, in New York City. One thousand black babies are born\u20141,489 are aborted. So, it has risen to epidemic levels. We launched this campaign\u2014along with Dr. Alveda King, and Walter Hoy, and other civil rights leaders\u2014to wake up the black community and wake up leaders to deal with this epidemic of abortion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just want you to know I really applaud you, speaking out on behalf of the unborn and also calling the Christian community to go near the orphan. Occasionally, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019ll conclude a broadcast by inviting the guest to say some words to a person who has been significant in his or her life. In this case, I\u2019m going to ask you to address two people. It\u2019s as though I could seat your birth mother across the table from you right now. I\u2019d like you to address her and express what you\u2019d like to express to her. Then, after you\u2019ve addressed her, I\u2019d like to seat your parents\u2014your mom and dad\u2014and I\u2019d like you to address them. Would you like to make a pass at this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Sure, I\u2019ll take a swing. I think, honestly, the only way I can address my birth mom is to kind of invoke some of the words from the song that I\u2019ve written. Can I do that\u2014a little unconventional?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure, sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Okay. So, the song would be the conversation; and it would go like this: [singing]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I know I was meant to be, <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>This life was meant for me<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Though you went through so so much pain,<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Oh, your tears\u2014they were not in vain.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Although you could not see<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>What God had planned for me,<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I know I was meant to be.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo those are some of the words. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, after I finished crying, I would go on to my parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, what do you say to two people, to whom most of the world would have said: \u201cWhat are you doing?! Why are you sacrificing this? You could have had this!\u201d My parents\u2014our family owned a department store. Financially, they could have been much better off. I mean, it\u2019s not every day that you choose to have 13 children. But whether you adopt 13 or you adopt one, there is always sacrifice involved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can\u2019t think of any other words to tell my parents\u2014and I still tell them over and over today\u2014I love them. I love them. I love them for giving me life. I love them for cherishing me, I love them for feeding me, for educating me, for clothing me, for putting up with me. Oh, my goodness! I was a little bit of a problem child!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I would say, \u201cMom and Dad, I hope to be a fraction of who you are to others.\u201d They\u2019ve taught me to love and to cherish other people. They\u2019ve taught me to serve; and they\u2019ve served, anonymously, most of their lives. They have given up so much\u2014that the world would consider \u201cgiving up\u201d\u2014materially, but it didn\u2019t matter to them because what they poured out could never be replaced. So, honestly, I would just sit here and hug the mess out of them\u2014they\u2019re about this tall [motions low]. I would hug the mess out of them and just say, \u201cThank you. I love you. I love you. I want to be like you!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, you\u2019ve really talked a lot today about the power of an individual\u2014and how one person can make a difference in another person\u2019s life and be a generational messenger\u2014touching the life of the orphan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t think of the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah as being one of failing to care for orphans and going near the needy; but listen to what God said, through the prophet Ezekiel, speaking of the sin of Sodom: \u201cBehold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and the needy. They were haughty and did an abomination before me. So I removed them when I saw it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAmerica is a blessed country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The Christian community is a <em>blessed<\/em> community. I just appreciate you, Ryan\u2014and sharing your story and The Radiance Foundation\u2014you and Bethany. I pray God\u2019s best and favor upon you and those four kiddos. May God\u2019s favor be upon you. Thanks for being on the broadcast. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan: <\/strong>Thank you. Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve been listening to a conversation, recorded with Ryan Bomberger, about 10 months ago, now, at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in California. Coming up here, in a couple of weeks\u2014the first week in May\u2014I think it\u2019s May 2<sup>nd<\/sup> and 3<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014we\u2019re going to be at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit IX\u2014in Nashville, Tennessee. We\u2019re going to be recording some <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>programs there this year. If you\u2019d like more information about what happens at the Summit\u2014maybe, you\u2019d like to attend and network with other people who have a heart for adoption and for orphan care\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link you find there that will take you to the Christian Alliance for Orphans website. All of the details about Summit IX can be found there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You\u2019ll also find resources we have available to help you think through whether adoption is the right decision for your family\u2014whether it\u2019s something you should consider and what kinds of questions should you be asking as you pray about adoption. We have other resources available that can help you understand how you can be a part of caring for the needs of orphans, all around the world. There are a number of different ways that we can be involved in expressing God\u2019s heart for the orphan\u2014in our local church, in our community, and in other parts of the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says \u201cHope for Orphans\u201d. That will take you to an area of our website where you\u2019ll find many resources we have available. Finally, there\u2019s a link at FamilyLifeToday.com for The Radiance Foundation\u2014that is the organization that Ryan Bomberger heads up. If you\u2019d like more information about what he is doing, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link for The Radiance Foundation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I need to talk for just a minute to those of you who are regular <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014you\u2019ve been listening for a while to our program. God has used the ministry of FamilyLife in some way in your life, in your marriage, or in your family. I want to talk to you folks about how you can be part of what God is doing through the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our goal is to see every family be a godly family. I want to ask you to consider becoming a monthly supporter of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014become a Legacy Partner. Make a monthly contribution\u2014whatever amount you choose\u2014and be a part of our Legacy Partner family. When you do that, we\u2019ll send you a welcome kit, with resources for your marriage and your family. We\u2019ll keep you up-to-date, throughout the year, with what\u2019s going on, here at FamilyLife. We\u2019ll also make available additional resources, throughout the year, as our way of saying, \u201cThank you for your ongoing support of this ministry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are only a handful of people in each city where <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is heard who are Legacy Partners. Would you consider being a part of that handful in your community? All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and sign on as a Legacy Partner; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019d like to be a Legacy Partner.\u201d Let me just say, \u201cThanks for considering what part you might play as a supporter of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear the first part of a message from Barbara Rainey\u2014a message about adoption. She\u2019ll share a very intimate look into her personal journey, as she tells the story of the adoption of one of their six children. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.83M"],"filesize_raw":["24989391"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302703.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302703.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Bomberger\u2019s birth mother was raped and she could have chosen abortion.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-03-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When Ryan Bomberger was adopted\u2014he was an African-American baby\u2014his new parents were white. It was not common, at that point. In fact, a number of people looked down on it, including Ryan Bomberger\u2019s new grandfather.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I grew up in Lancaster County. The area we grew up was a majority white area; but unfortunately, my mom had to deal with a father who could not separate his deep-seated racist feelings. In fact, he said, \u201cIf you bring in this black child (he used another word for that) into your home, I\u2019ll have nothing to do with you.\u201d So, she and my dad had to make that choice; and they made that decision between her father and her newborn son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, March 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019re going to kick things off today by taking you to a live recording that took place almost a year ago at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in California. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, without looking at your schedule\u2014and I know how crowded your schedule gets\u2014I always know that there are a few dates every year that are blocked out and kind of sacred. You\u2019ve been at every Orphan Summit since we hosted the first one, back at FamilyLife headquarters. There were about 35 people in the room; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. There have been eight of them. We\u2019re here live with the audience of\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes! In fact, we have a live studio audience joining us. [Applause and cheers] Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Barbara and I really believe in the issue of the orphan, and going near the orphan, and talking about adoption and foster care. We count it a privilege to be a part of giving voice to those who don\u2019t have a voice. In fact, over the years, I\u2019ve said one of the big problems in the Christian community, I think, is we\u2019ve done a fairly good job of being pro-life; but we haven\u2019t done a good job of being pro-life and pro-orphan\u2014pro-adoption. If we could overturn the laws and have abortion overruled, there would be hundreds of thousands of babies. The Christian community\u2014because it hasn\u2019t been pro-adoption\u2014I think they\u2019d be overwhelmed by it. We\u2019ve got someone here with us today\u2014Ryan Bomberger\u2014who has a compelling story of both pro-life and pro-adoption. Ryan, welcome to our broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Thank you. It\u2019s great to be here. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Ryan is married to his wife, Bethany. She\u2019s somewhere in the audience. Bethany, would you stand up? Where are you? Stand up down there. There she is! [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey live in Virginia Beach, along with their four children, and give leadership to The Radiance Foundation, which is a life-affirming non-profit. We\u2019ll talk more about that later. Ryan is an Emmy Award-winning creative professional. He\u2019s a blogger, a speaker, a writer, and a champion for the value of human life. Ryan, there have been a lot of folks who\u2019ve invested in your life\u2014a lot of heroes who\u2019ve invested heavily in your life. Tell us about the first hero and her story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> The first hero would be my birth mom. It\u2019s amazing! When you think of courage and strength, personified\u2014a lot of times, people don\u2019t think of birth moms as some of the first people\u2014especially, when they face circumstances like my birth mom did. I\u2019m one of those cases that even pro-lifers have an issue with sometimes. I\u2019m one of those marginal cases\u2014the fringe case\u2014that even pro-lifers will write-off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy biological mother was raped; and yet, despite that unspeakable trauma, she went through nine months of pregnancy\u2014choosing, courageously, life! I\u2019d have to say she\u2019s my first hero\u2014I wouldn\u2019t be here speaking to you\u2014that would be kind of a problem\u2014you\u2019d have an empty seat, right here, or somebody else. She\u2019s absolutely my first hero. I cannot imagine what she went through\u2014the unspeakable violence. But her courage showed that beauty can rise from the ashes of something so unspeakable. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Obviously, you didn\u2019t know the details until later, but you learned that she had a lot of anger, during that pregnancy, and even up until the moment you were born; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. I actually had the privilege of speaking\u2014I found the social worker who handled the adoption case. She explained to me that my biological mother was angry\u2014as did my mom. These were the notes given to them by the agency. She was really angry and hurt. Of course, you can understand that. She didn\u2019t want to even see me. She kept saying she didn\u2019t want to see me. As soon as she gave birth, she just wanted to separate; but there was a change. The social worker noticed, when I was born, she asked to be able to see me and to hold me. I don\u2019t know what broke, but obviously something broke. The social worker said she even smiled. She felt like there was a moment of healing, at that point in time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were adopted by a family\u2014of all places\u2014in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Oh, yes! Apple dumplings and whoopee pies! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And when you were adopted, they already had three biological children?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes, they had three homemade ones. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were the first import\u2014is that what we call you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I was the first import, yes! I was an exotic import. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> An exotic import! That\u2019s a good way to say it; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. They didn\u2019t know what to do with me. I was special.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In fact, it was an exotic choice and one that cost your mom\u2014in making the choice to bring you into the family, there was a price she paid.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes, I mean, I grew up in Lancaster County. The area we grew up in was a majority white area; but unfortunately, my mom had to deal with a father who could not separate his deep-seated racist feelings. In fact, he said\u2014and I don\u2019t know if I can say this on your broadcast\u2014he said, \u201cIf you bring in this black child (he used another word for that) into your home, I\u2019ll have nothing to do with you.\u201d So, she had to make the decision between her father and her newborn son. She chose well. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just saying! But, seriously, I mean, the pain that she had to go through. She had to lose a father in order to gain a son. I think it represents that sacrifice that parents go through, on a regular basis. Whether you\u2019re an adoptive parent or not, there is always sacrifice. But she and my dad had to make that choice, and they made that choice. So, she did lose her father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Why do you think she made that choice?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> She knew there was a greater calling. She was abandoned, as a child. That\u2019s where it all started. She was abandoned, as a child, because her alcoholic father and her mother were separating. She was put in an orphanage. At the age of five, she made a promise to God that she would be a mommy to those who didn\u2019t have one. It was something that was in her heart for a long time. So, that wasn\u2019t enough of an obstacle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe knew that God had called her to be a mommy and to love <em>the mess<\/em> out of children who didn\u2019t have someone to call \u201cMommy\u201d or \u201cDaddy\u201d. It was painful for her\u2014extremely painful\u2014but she knew that God had called her to help unleash purpose in the children that she had adopted\u2014ten of us, by the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You met Bethany at college. She was engaged in this arena, as a single lady, as well; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, she headed a committee\u2014this is how we met. It was a love-at-first-sight moment. She was heading a committee, where I was singing in this group called Surreal. We were doing a benefit concert for a Crisis Pregnancy Center. We locked eyes and, \u201cWow!\u201d Anyway, the whole world changed. She has always had a heart for those who are broken. She\u2019s a teacher, by profession; and she is my better half. She\u2019s also the one in charge of The Radiance Foundation\u2014I have no problem with a woman being in charge! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSee, all the guys are kind of quiet; the women clapping, \u201cWooh!\u201d [Laughter] But her heart was in it. Our story\u2014part of The Radiance Foundation story is predicated, even, on her own experience\u2014having been a single mom for a year and knowing what that\u2019s like. That\u2019s why we identify and we reach out to birth moms. So, she knows that experience. I know\u2014coming in, as a father\u2014being a father to our daughter, Hailey Radiance. Our organization is actually named after her. So, we can identify. We know what it feels like to be in that broken place. We have a heart to see how hope, how love, how truth can transform.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> As you dated, did you guys talk about adopting\u2014about the needs of orphans? I mean, obviously, you were raising money for a crisis pregnancy unit, there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, when we first dated, I remember walking on a path outside and talking about, \u201cYes! We\u2019re going to have \u2018x\u2019 number of children!\u201d Whew, it\u2019s amazing how things can change when you get married and have a few first! [Laughter] Just being on this side of the equation\u2014being an adoptee, you have one perspective. Being the parent, you have another. I think what ends up happening is\u2014that we have this openness to where God wants to lead us. We aren\u2019t setting these parameters. We\u2019re saying, \u201cGod, use us.\u201d With four children right now\u2014our youngest, being adopted\u2014our most recent adoption\u2014we\u2019re just open to where God leads us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You learned some of your story, you said, from the social worker and, of course, from your mom. Did you ever try to seek out your birth mom? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I did. It\u2019s amazing how many times people have had this sort of talk show-mentality that there\u2019s always this blissful reunion when biological child reunites with the biological parent. That\u2019s mostly untrue. I know\u2014get that, \u201cTVs mostly untrue.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found that\u2014most of my siblings\u2014or some of my siblings that did reconnect\u2014it wasn\u2019t this joyous occasion. But I wanted to pursue finding her because I didn\u2019t want a relationship, but I wanted to be able to thank her. I had written a song called <em>Meant to Be<\/em>, which is the music behind this video that I call <em>Unwanted<\/em>. I want her to have a copy of it. It is my way of just saying, \u201cThank you for going through nine months of traumatic pregnancy. You allowed me to be loved and to love others.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the court unsealed my adoption records; and they pursued her. They could not find her. So, they kept it open for about three months longer than normal; but there was no response. At this time, I\u2019ve not been able to reconnect. But all I really want to do is have that conversation\u2014that is, my song, <em>Meant to Be<\/em>, and thanking her\u2014even though words are insufficient sometimes to say to a birth mom, \u201cThank you for giving me life.\u201d But it was my attempt to thank her. I believe that one day\u2014some day, I actually may connect with her. I can\u2019t wait to have that conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You are obviously pro-life\u2014staunch\u2014a little bit\u2014[Laughter] \u2014and pro-orphan\u2014pro-adoption. Speak to the Christian community about why we need to keep those in proper tension and be going near the needs of the orphan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, being pro-life\u2014I think we\u2019re often too comfortable with a very narrow definition of what that means. It\u2019s kind of like when I think of slavery in America. It\u2019s kind of saying: \u201cYes, I\u2019m pro-emancipation of slaves, but I\u2019m not going to worry about racism or citizenship. Let\u2019s not worry about the 14<sup>th<\/sup> Amendment or the 15<sup>th<\/sup> Amendment to give black people the right to vote. It was good enough that they were just emancipated.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s only <em>part <\/em>of the equation. And, so, what I want to speak to Christians\u2014and a lot of times, it\u2019s simply just a matter of not being aware\u2014which is what we try to do through The Radiance Foundation\u2014which <em>many<\/em> organizations, represented here, do\u2014it\u2019s education\u2014it\u2019s reaching, heart-to-heart\u2014to have people\u2019s minds and their spirit open up to what it really means to be pro-life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You also are a champion for birth mothers. It seems like\u2014at points, those of us in the Christian communities\u2014as we see a young lady, who is pregnant outside of marriage\u2014we can tend to be on the judgmental side, rather than coming alongside her and cheering her on for protecting unborn life and, then, doing what is almost the unthinkable\u2014being so courageous as to take that life, that has been carried for nine months, and placing it in the arms of another family. Speak, from your heart, about birth mothers and how the Christian community needs to really be advocates for birth moms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I think it should be a natural out flowing of us, as Christians, who are called to love one another. It should be part of our DNA. I mean, there\u2019s no salvation without adoption. Yet, when it comes to birth moms, we tend to forget that we have also been redeemed from something. So, unfortunately, we don\u2019t focus enough on loving and cherishing these women, who are often abandoned, sadly, by the men who were part\u2014you know\u2014the 50 percent of that biological equation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we launched, through The Radiance Foundation, something called SallysLambs.org.<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> It\u2019s our way of cherishing birth moms, while celebrating adoption. We want to bring focus to these women who do make that choice and come alongside of them\u2014provide the resources\u2014material, emotional, spiritual\u2014because there <em>has<\/em> to be that focus. It\u2019s just part of what we do through The Radiance Foundation. I know there are many out there who do the same thing, on a one-to-one level or through their organizations; but I think we need to increase that focus for those of us who consider ourselves pro-life and are advocates of adoption. You can\u2019t advocate adoption without loving all of those involved in that whole equation. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, I agree with that! The Radiance Foundation, a number of years ago, took on a pretty delicate issue, within the African-American community. You gained national exposure. Explain what you did and what happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, we decided that we were going to take on two of the easiest topics\u2014you know, non-controversial topics\u2014abortion and race\u2014[Laughter] \u2014and launch an ad campaign in the Deep South, where, apparently, the Civil War just ended, there!\u00a0 [Laughter] So, yes, there were like sparks flying. It was crazy! I would read some of the reports\u2014you know, about who I was\u2014because the news media is always trying to divide. If you haven\u2019t noticed, that\u2019s what they love to do\u2014to divide instead of saying what is truly going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe wanted to launch this campaign because of the disproportionate impact in the black community. It\u2019s kind of like a breast cancer awareness campaign. I mean, how many of us have seen breast cancer awareness ads featuring men?\u2014none. But it features women because they\u2019re the demographic most impacted. We took that same approach. So, it was the first public ad campaign: \u201cTooManyAborted.com\u201d\u2014billboards that said, \u201cBlack children are an endangered species\u2014TooManyAborted.com.\u201d [They are] more endangered, from death by abortion, than any other racial demographic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, abortion occurs up to 5.8 times more in the black community than in the majority population. Where that happens is the home of Planned Parenthood, in New York City. One thousand black babies are born\u20141,489 are aborted. So, it has risen to epidemic levels. We launched this campaign\u2014along with Dr. Alveda King, and Walter Hoy, and other civil rights leaders\u2014to wake up the black community and wake up leaders to deal with this epidemic of abortion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just want you to know I really applaud you, speaking out on behalf of the unborn and also calling the Christian community to go near the orphan. Occasionally, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019ll conclude a broadcast by inviting the guest to say some words to a person who has been significant in his or her life. In this case, I\u2019m going to ask you to address two people. It\u2019s as though I could seat your birth mother across the table from you right now. I\u2019d like you to address her and express what you\u2019d like to express to her. Then, after you\u2019ve addressed her, I\u2019d like to seat your parents\u2014your mom and dad\u2014and I\u2019d like you to address them. Would you like to make a pass at this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Sure, I\u2019ll take a swing. I think, honestly, the only way I can address my birth mom is to kind of invoke some of the words from the song that I\u2019ve written. Can I do that\u2014a little unconventional?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure, sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Okay. So, the song would be the conversation; and it would go like this: [singing]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I know I was meant to be, <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>This life was meant for me<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Though you went through so so much pain,<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Oh, your tears\u2014they were not in vain.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Although you could not see<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>What God had planned for me,<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I know I was meant to be.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo those are some of the words. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, after I finished crying, I would go on to my parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, what do you say to two people, to whom most of the world would have said: \u201cWhat are you doing?! Why are you sacrificing this? You could have had this!\u201d My parents\u2014our family owned a department store. Financially, they could have been much better off. I mean, it\u2019s not every day that you choose to have 13 children. But whether you adopt 13 or you adopt one, there is always sacrifice involved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can\u2019t think of any other words to tell my parents\u2014and I still tell them over and over today\u2014I love them. I love them. I love them for giving me life. I love them for cherishing me, I love them for feeding me, for educating me, for clothing me, for putting up with me. Oh, my goodness! I was a little bit of a problem child!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I would say, \u201cMom and Dad, I hope to be a fraction of who you are to others.\u201d They\u2019ve taught me to love and to cherish other people. They\u2019ve taught me to serve; and they\u2019ve served, anonymously, most of their lives. They have given up so much\u2014that the world would consider \u201cgiving up\u201d\u2014materially, but it didn\u2019t matter to them because what they poured out could never be replaced. So, honestly, I would just sit here and hug the mess out of them\u2014they\u2019re about this tall [motions low]. I would hug the mess out of them and just say, \u201cThank you. I love you. I love you. I want to be like you!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, you\u2019ve really talked a lot today about the power of an individual\u2014and how one person can make a difference in another person\u2019s life and be a generational messenger\u2014touching the life of the orphan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t think of the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah as being one of failing to care for orphans and going near the needy; but listen to what God said, through the prophet Ezekiel, speaking of the sin of Sodom: \u201cBehold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and the needy. They were haughty and did an abomination before me. So I removed them when I saw it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAmerica is a blessed country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The Christian community is a <em>blessed<\/em> community. I just appreciate you, Ryan\u2014and sharing your story and The Radiance Foundation\u2014you and Bethany. I pray God\u2019s best and favor upon you and those four kiddos. May God\u2019s favor be upon you. Thanks for being on the broadcast. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan: <\/strong>Thank you. Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve been listening to a conversation, recorded with Ryan Bomberger, about 10 months ago, now, at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in California. Coming up here, in a couple of weeks\u2014the first week in May\u2014I think it\u2019s May 2<sup>nd<\/sup> and 3<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014we\u2019re going to be at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit IX\u2014in Nashville, Tennessee. We\u2019re going to be recording some <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>programs there this year. If you\u2019d like more information about what happens at the Summit\u2014maybe, you\u2019d like to attend and network with other people who have a heart for adoption and for orphan care\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link you find there that will take you to the Christian Alliance for Orphans website. All of the details about Summit IX can be found there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You\u2019ll also find resources we have available to help you think through whether adoption is the right decision for your family\u2014whether it\u2019s something you should consider and what kinds of questions should you be asking as you pray about adoption. We have other resources available that can help you understand how you can be a part of caring for the needs of orphans, all around the world. There are a number of different ways that we can be involved in expressing God\u2019s heart for the orphan\u2014in our local church, in our community, and in other parts of the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says \u201cHope for Orphans\u201d. That will take you to an area of our website where you\u2019ll find many resources we have available. Finally, there\u2019s a link at FamilyLifeToday.com for The Radiance Foundation\u2014that is the organization that Ryan Bomberger heads up. If you\u2019d like more information about what he is doing, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link for The Radiance Foundation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I need to talk for just a minute to those of you who are regular <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014you\u2019ve been listening for a while to our program. God has used the ministry of FamilyLife in some way in your life, in your marriage, or in your family. I want to talk to you folks about how you can be part of what God is doing through the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our goal is to see every family be a godly family. I want to ask you to consider becoming a monthly supporter of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014become a Legacy Partner. Make a monthly contribution\u2014whatever amount you choose\u2014and be a part of our Legacy Partner family. When you do that, we\u2019ll send you a welcome kit, with resources for your marriage and your family. We\u2019ll keep you up-to-date, throughout the year, with what\u2019s going on, here at FamilyLife. We\u2019ll also make available additional resources, throughout the year, as our way of saying, \u201cThank you for your ongoing support of this ministry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are only a handful of people in each city where <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is heard who are Legacy Partners. Would you consider being a part of that handful in your community? All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and sign on as a Legacy Partner; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019d like to be a Legacy Partner.\u201d Let me just say, \u201cThanks for considering what part you might play as a supporter of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear the first part of a message from Barbara Rainey\u2014a message about adoption. She\u2019ll share a very intimate look into her personal journey, as she tells the story of the adoption of one of their six children. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. 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