{"id":302680,"date":"2013-02-08T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-02-08T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/adventure-focus-and-time\/"},"modified":"2013-02-08T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-02-08T17:00:00","slug":"adventure-focus-and-time","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/adventure-focus-and-time\/","title":{"rendered":"Adventure, Focus and Time"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of the reasons we get bored in our marriage is that it becomes too routine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-02-08.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.87M","filesize_raw":"27130671","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2088],"tags":[4714,5249],"podcast_series":[7927],"cwp_profile":[3051],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302680","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-romance-and-sex","tag-romance","tag-romancing-my-spouse","podcast_series-rekindling-the-romance-in-your-marriage","cwp_profile-dennis-and-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302680\/adventure-focus-and-time","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302680\/adventure-focus-and-time","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"mUjZ8H3Y2u\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/adventure-focus-and-time\/\">Adventure, Focus and Time<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/adventure-focus-and-time\/embed\/#?secret=mUjZ8H3Y2u\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Adventure, Focus and Time&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"mUjZ8H3Y2u\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"One of the reasons we get bored in our marriage is that it becomes too routine.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-02-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You\u2019ve heard it said that home is where the heart is.\u00a0 Barbara Rainey says home is not where the romance is\u2014at least, not for her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 For me, as a wife, one of the best ways for us to have adventure and creativity in our relationship is for me to get out of our house.\u00a0 I know that for some couples that may be difficult because of finances; but I need\u2014or at least, it helps me\u2014to get out of our house to focus on our marriage relationship and focus on romance\u2014because when I\u2019m at home, I\u2019m constantly surrounded by things that I need to do and things that are undone\u2014because my house is my office.\u00a0 It helps me to work on our relationship when I can leave the home.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 8<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about why focus, time, and a little adventure are all important for romance.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How is the romantic makeover going at your house, Bob?\u00a0 We've been having a romantic makeover, all week, on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 You're assuming he is applying what we're talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am assuming that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can we play the theme music as we start here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Here is the theme music, and I'm picking today.\u00a0 We're going back to something a little peppier here.\u00a0 Go for it!\u00a0 [Jazz music]\u00a0 There you go!\u00a0 Now, that will get your\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Snoring]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh, stop it!\u00a0 Stop it!\u00a0 We're talking about how you can add\u2014well, how you can turn a\u2014you said it, already, this week\u2014a vanilla marriage into one that's got some cayenne pepper in it; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Spice!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oooweee, Baby!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sugar and spice\u2014we're talking about rekindling the romance in your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And with Valentine's Day just ahead, that's kind of a good reminder\u2014on the calendar\u2014that we need to make romance a priority\u2014at least, once a year; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's what Barbara says to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara is joining us in this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Isn't that right, Sweetheart?\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is right\u2014once a year is certainly not enough.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right.\u00a0 She really does not care if I do all that much on Valentine's Day.\u00a0 It's the other 364.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can take Valentine's Day off?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the reality is\u2014for her, Valentine's Day\u2014you're expected to do something romantic.\u00a0 But when I bring home flowers any other time\u2014you're not expected to, at that point.\u00a0 And so we're\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s true. That says more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does say more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can I tell you what I did one Valentine's Day?\u00a0 This was back when Mary Ann and I were dating\u2014back when I used to apply creativity and things we've already talked about this week.\u00a0 I bought a box of the cards that you used to pass out in second grade\u2014you know, one to every classmate.\u00a0 I wrote a note on each one of them.\u00a0 I mailed them all to her so they all came in the mailbox on the same day.\u00a0 She was actually living with two girls, who were her roommates at the time.\u00a0 It made them very jealous that she had such a wonderful boyfriend who would do things like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll bet they were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, already this week, we've talked about some ingredients for a romantic makeover.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We've talked about the need for the foundation to be secure\u2014for a man to feel respected and affirmed\u2014for a wife to feel secure and accepted.\u00a0 Then, we talked about the use of imagination and creativity as a way to dress up the romantic relationship.\u00a0 What are some other things we can do that will cause the romance in our marriage to flourish?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we hinted at this earlier; but life can become routine.\u00a0 To beat the routine, we need an adventure.\u00a0 I think this is equally important for husbands and wives; but it's the idea of breaking out of the ruts\u2014and the \u201csame old...\u201d, \u201csame old...\u201d\u2014that can so plague a marriage\u2014and begin to add a little risk, and excitement, and some newness to your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, what are you talking about\u2014an adventure?\u00a0 I mean, that sounds like mountain climbing or\u2014is that the idea that you've got in mind here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it can be a lot of things, Bob.\u00a0 It can be as simple as just a little surprise\u2014something that is different than how you have normally romanced one another.\u00a0 It's going to involve giving of yourself to your spouse around those things which would communicate romance, love, focus, attention, and time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the reasons I think adventure is important in a relationship is just because of what you said\u2014and that is that we can get bored.\u00a0 But when we think about what we did when we were first dating, or engaged, or even in the newly-married stage, we tried things that were different because we didn't really know what the other person liked.\u00a0 So, we were willing to try different things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I think it's important to try to do things, together, that are different\u2014go to a concert, if that's not something that you ever do\u2014instead of the typical:\u00a0 Go to a movie; go out to dinner\u2014which is so predictable.\u00a0 So, I think that what's important about adventure is trying something new that takes you outside of your comfort zone.\u00a0 That's going to spark romance between you, as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our friend, Tim Muehlhoff, tells a story of being newly-married.\u00a0 His wife suggested that they have an adventure on their honeymoon.\u00a0 In fact, I think we've got this story\u2014where we could share it with our listeners.\u00a0 Here's Tim Muehlhoff from one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>conferences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong>\u00a0 I thought I knew a lot about my wife, Noreen.\u00a0 She was a business major at the University of Connecticut.\u00a0 I was a theater major at Eastern Michigan University.\u00a0 She was pre-law; I was pre-unemployment.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there are things we don't know about our spouses until we get married.\u00a0 We were on our honeymoon in Fort Collins, Colorado.\u00a0 Noreen is leafing through the newspaper.\u00a0 She sees an ad for skydiving.\u00a0 She says to me, \"Honey, let's take some of our wedding money and go skydiving!\"\u00a0 Now, men, what am I supposed to say to my new bride at that point?\u00a0 \"No, Honey, that frightens me.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I go skydiving!\u00a0 I'm going skydiving for all the wrong reasons.\u00a0 I'm up in this airplane; right? \u2014with a woman called the \"Jump Master\"\u2014which I think is totally overdoing it, \"Yes, Jump Master.\"\u00a0 You know, I'm in this airplane.\u00a0 The Jump Master takes the door off the airplane.\u00a0 I look down\u20143,500 feet\u2014and I start to panic.\u00a0 I start to pull my chute <em>in the airplane<\/em>.\u00a0 The Jump Master is saying, \"No, no, no, not now, Tim.\"\u00a0 I'm saying, \"No, now!\u00a0 Jump master, now!\"\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNoreen jumps out first.\u00a0 She's totally detail-oriented.\u00a0 She's looking at her altimeter.\u00a0 She pulls both flaps.\u00a0 She, literally, walks her parachute\u2014a perfect landing.\u00a0 Me, Mr. Theater Major\u2014I'm floating through the air, writing Haiku poetry\u2014you know\u2014\"Wind!\u00a0 Mist!\u201d\u2014and my brain says, \u201cGround!\u00a0 How about ground?\u201d\u00a0 I look\u2014I'm late.\u00a0 I pull both flaps\u2014I, literally, smack the ground\u2014snap my glasses, cut my nose, I have to go to the Emergency Room.\u00a0 I'm in the Emergency Room.\u00a0 The doctor says, \"How did this happen?\"\u00a0 I say, \"Fell.\"\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So is that the kind of adventure you're talking about\u2014things where you put life and limb at risk?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That wouldn't be my idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You don't want to do any skydiving?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mary Ann and I were on vacation with the family, at a lake, a few years back.\u00a0 We were out on the lake, and we saw a guy doing parasailing.\u00a0 I thought, \"That would be fun!\"\u00a0 Now, I don't like heights, particularly; but, for some reason, that just seemed like a fun thing to do.\u00a0 So, we spent a morning and went parasailing.\u00a0 There's something about those adventures that do build memories, and they're just special times in your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I really agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And one of the things Barbara mentions in our book, <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>, is that sometimes these adventures will mean that we have to get out of our house to go somewhere else.\u00a0 She likens it to a man living in his office.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 And what I mean by that is that, for me, as a wife, one of the best ways for us to have adventure and, as we talked about earlier\u2014creativity in our relationship\u2014is for me to get out of our house.\u00a0 I know that for some couples that may be difficult because of finances, but you can trade kids.\u00a0 There are all kinds of creative ways to find different places to go and different things that you can do, outside of your house.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I need\u2014or, at least, it helps me\u2014to get out of our house to focus on our marriage relationship and to focus on romance\u2014because when I\u2019m at home, I\u2019m constantly surrounded by things that I need to do and things that are undone\u2014because my house is my office.\u00a0 It helps me to work on our relationship when I can leave the home.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You need a change of scenery.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I need a change of scenery.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And, again, it doesn't have to be a cruise in the Caribbean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of our favorite places that we have been is a state park.\u00a0 Oftentimes, state parks will have lodging that is a lot less expensive than what you would find, perhaps, in a big city at a fancy hotel.\u00a0 We've gone to this state park several times, where they have little cabins.\u00a0 Then, we can go on hikes, and nature trails, and all that kind of stuff.\u00a0 But the idea is that there are options, that don't necessarily require lots of money, that can take you away and put you in a different location\u2014that increases that level of adventure in your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can hear someone saying, \"I'm not an impulsive person.\"\u00a0 Now, to be a true adventurer, you don't have to be impulsive.\u00a0 You can plan on your adventure.\u00a0 You can start planning today for something you do a month from now.\u00a0 The issue is to think about what would be a fun experience for you two to go do together to create some shared memories.\u00a0 But then, think about it in terms of\u2014not just a whitewater rafting trip down the Colorado River or hang gliding off the rim of the Grand Canyon\u2014but think about it in terms of an adventure, around romance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, think about the Song of Solomon.\u00a0 Think about the call of Solomon to his beloved when he says, \"Arise and come away.\u00a0 The winter has passed, the spring is here.\u00a0 The time of the turtledove is heard in the land.\u00a0 Let's explore the springtime.\"\u00a0 \u201cLet's go off to a state park.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cLet's go somewhere where we can just get out of the house.\u00a0 We've been cooped up all winter.\u00a0 Let's just get out in the open and enjoy a day together.\u201d\u00a0 That's adventuresome; isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it really is.\u00a0 I think it's healthy for couples to break out of the routine and the boredom of just normal, everyday life and think of something different.\u00a0 Like Dennis said\u2014plan ahead\u2014but think of something different\u2014that you haven't ever done, or something that you haven't done in a long time, and plan for it, and make it a priority in your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And, you know, it's not just for the spouse who is the most romantic.\u00a0 This needs to be a mutually-shared responsibility in the marriage relationship.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is another ingredient\u2014besides adventure, and intrigue, and time, and focus concerning romance\u2014that I know Barbara has some thoughts about\u2014that I want her to comment on because she writes about it in the book.\u00a0 That's the subject of beauty.\u00a0 Sweetheart, explain to our listeners what you mean when you talk about beauty bringing about a rekindling of romance in a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I'm talking, in the book, about two different kinds of beauty.\u00a0 I'm talking about internal beauty, as well as external beauty.\u00a0 I think that women, in particular, need to make sure that they stay attractive to their husbands.\u00a0 That means taking care of the exterior, and not letting it slide, and making sure that you are attractive to him\u2014in what he finds attractive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it also means keeping your heart healthy.\u00a0 I'm not talking about your physical heart\u2014but your spiritual heart\u2014and growing, spiritually, in relationship with the Lord\u2014and having a heart of peace, and a heart of love, and a heart of compassion\u2014the qualities that God puts into a heart.\u00a0 I think it's important in keeping the romance alive in your relationship\u2014that wives focus on keeping themselves attractive and beautiful to their husbands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t think men are excluded from this, either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, they are not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know it took me a good amount of time to finally execute on a request that Barbara made for me to lose a few pounds.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s not just women who need to be exercising their beauty for their husbands; but also, husbands need to be watching their weight and not allowing themselves to become physically undesirable because they\u2019ve become sloppy, in terms of their eating habits and their weight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, as some of our listeners hear you talk about this, they say, \u201cI\u2019m a long way off from that.\u00a0 Does that mean our romance is going to suffer?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it means that your romance is going to suffer because, really, I\u2019m talking about two different kinds of beauty.\u00a0 It\u2019s the inward beauty and the exterior beauty\u2014because we all know that, with age, the exterior is going to fade anyway.\u00a0 God talks about the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit.\u00a0 So, I think it\u2019s cultivating an internal beauty that complements the exterior.\u00a0 All of us are going to fade in the exterior; but we still need to take care of ourselves, and we still need to be appropriately attractive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A woman, or a man, for that matter, who focuses exclusively on external physical beauty is missing a big part of the picture.\u00a0 Somebody who says\u2014for whatever reason\u2014\u201cI\u2019m a long way away from being physically beautiful again,\u201d \u2014you can be radiantly beautiful by cultivating the right kind of spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s really true.\u00a0 It\u2019s the kind of thing that\u2019s going to sustain a marriage, over the long haul.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis, all we've talked about this week\u2014when it comes to romance and the need for a romantic makeover\u2014we're talking about some time.\u00a0 We're talking about\u2014I'm just looking at my schedule, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014energy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014focus.\u00a0 Do you know where you're going to get some of it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Where?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm about to give you a piece of advice that\u2014for those couples who feel romantically-starved in their marriages\u2014this one piece of advice, right now, that I'm about to give you\u2014I think could potentially give you a couple of hours each week, or as many as four to six hours each week, to be able to cultivate your relationship and rekindle the romance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright; I'm ready. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you ready?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Turn the TV off three or four nights a week.\u00a0 Just declare the television to be off-limits.\u00a0 Declare those days as a TV-free zone so that you two can cultivate romance in your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, you\u2019re taking a step back here because I know in the book you say there should be no TV in the bedroom.\u00a0 We don\u2019t have a TV in our bedroom, and you don\u2019t have one in yours; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You haven\u2019t brought one in since the kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, no.\u00a0 I would never have a TV in my bedroom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And do your children have TVs in their bedrooms\u2014your married children?\u00a0 Do you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I don\u2019t think any of them do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t have a TV in the kitchen, where you eat your meals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nor would I have one in my bedroom.\u00a0 The reason is\u2014those are both places where relationships occur.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But now, you\u2019re saying, \u201cEven the one that\u2019s in the den, or in the living room, or wherever it is\u2014leave it off three or four nights a week.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 I\u2019d also go so far as to say, \u201cTurn off the email.\u201d\u00a0 It will be there tomorrow morning\u2014waiting on you.\u00a0 Just turn it off, and give the relationship a chance to breathe again.\u00a0 You know, without generous amounts of time for that relationship to occur and for romance to occur, how are you going to have creativity, imagination, adventure, or have a chance to appreciate beauty in your spouse?\u00a0 All of those things need time.\u00a0 If you\u2019re going to have that, you have to agree together on where you\u2019re going to find some time for that to occur.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, if you stopped and thought about it, Barbara, if you could add up how much time you think you devote, each week, to your romantic relationship\u2014I mean, all the aspects of it\u2014could you put a number to that?\u00a0 Are you spending a few hours a week?\u00a0 Are you spending more than that; less than that?\u00a0 What do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a hard question because it\u2019s not the kind of thing that you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that you keep tabs on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that you keep tabs on\u2014yes\u2014that\u2019s very measurable because I think about my husband during the day\u2014and I think about what he\u2019s going to need when he comes home, and, \u201cWhat do I need to do?\u201d and I try to anticipate.\u00a0 So, there are a lot of thoughts that are running through my mind, from time to time, throughout the day.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how you measure the quantity of those.\u00a0 But I guess, I would have to say what you said, at the beginning.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you say a couple of hours?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A couple of hours per week?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Maybe.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know\u2014maybe, less than that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how long thoughts take.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you think you\u2019re spending about the same\u2014a couple of hours a week?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, 20 hours a week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you\u2014really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Michael Jordan has to practice.\u00a0 I\u2019m practicing!\u00a0 No, I don\u2019t know how many hours!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s trying to figure out where the 20 hours are going because she hasn\u2019t seen them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 No, I would have to say a couple of hours a week, probably.\u00a0 Frankly, that\u2019s not enough, especially given the fact that you have weekends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, if you\u2019re looking for a little extra time\u2014you can say, \u201cGoodbye,\u201d to all your friends, who you watch every week, on the sitcom or on the drama show.\u00a0 Just tune them out.\u00a0 Put down the channel changer, and you can invest in one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you have any needs in this area, I would challenge you to completely eliminate\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you saying get rid of the TV?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 You could do that, yes, but I\u2019m talking about the sitcoms and drama shows.\u00a0 Eliminate them.\u00a0 They\u2019re not real life.\u00a0 Get on with real life, and don't swap the television for the internet or the newspaper.\u00a0 Swap those for a real relationship with a real person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you can start off by getting a copy of the book, <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, read that together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014Simply Romantic Nights collection.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There's a good place to start\u2014right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0That will give you some things to do, in the evening, when you're not watching TV.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I tell you what\u2014I would challenge every woman listening to get a copy of our book and read Barbara's chapters\u2014Chapter 4 and Chapter 5\u2014on why intimacy is so important to your husband and the power of a woman.\u00a0 Then, I'd challenge every man to also read, in his half of the book, about how to become an irresistible man and 30 ways to love your lover.\u00a0 I think most men\u2014when it comes to romance\u2014most of us really need some practical help in terms of how to spell romance in the language of our wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I'll tell you what\u2014we got a letter, recently, from a listener, who said: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just finished reading <em>Rekindling the Romance.<\/em>\u00a0 I have to tell you, this has changed my life and my marriage.\u00a0 I've been married 28 years\u2014most recently, unhappily married.\u00a0 My husband and I have four children, ages 12 to 22.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe early years of marriage were full of family activities but not a whole lot of \u201cus\u201d time.\u00a0 As the years have gone by, there has been less and less time between my husband and me.\u00a0 It got to the point where I didn't care about intimacy.\u00a0 What I now realize is my emotional and relational needs were not being met by my husband.\u00a0 I was beginning to resent that, and I was withholding intimacy to punish him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter reading Angela's Novella\u2014the short story that starts off your section of the book, Barbara\u2014I was given such an insight into what my husband is struggling with every day.\u00a0 He is in a position as the president of a company and that alone attracts some women.\u00a0 The first thing I did was to turn to God to allow me to love him physically\u2014to desire to be intimate with him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI now see how I have pushed him away and made him susceptible to desiring sexual satisfaction outside of our marriage.\u00a0 I can honestly say I desire him more today than the day we were married.\u00a0 I know that's God's intervention in our hearts, our minds, and our marriage.\u00a0 Thanks for all the wisdom and words that went into writing your book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of the book, <em>Rekindling the Romance, <\/em>in our <em>FamilyLifeToday <\/em>Resource Center.\u00a0 Go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the book and about the Simply Romantic<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Nightscollection that our team has put together\u2014romantic dates for husbands and wives to share with one another, during the coming year.\u00a0 There are other resources available, as well.\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY: 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, ask about the resources we have available to help rekindle the romance in your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I should also mention that our FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>marriage getaway spring season kicks off this weekend.\u00a0 Dennis is going to be at the Gaylord National Hotel in Washington, DC, with hundreds of couples from around the area.\u00a0 There are other conferences taking place, in other parts of the country, this weekend, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNext weekend, I\u2019ll be in Hershey, PA, for the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>in Hershey\u2014a couple of days after Valentine\u2019s Day\u2014in the chocolate capital of America.\u00a0 How great is that; right?\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to find out more about any of the upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaways, taking place this spring, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information; or call, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot long ago, I was speaking at a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway.\u00a0 I had a chance to speak on the subject of marital intimacy.\u00a0 I talked about some of the things that interfere with intimacy in a marriage relationship.\u00a0 We have the audio CD of that presentation available; and this month, we\u2019re making it available to those of you who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are listener-supported.\u00a0 Your donations make this ministry possible.\u00a0 So, if you can help us with a donation this month, we want to send you a copy of this audio CD on marital intimacy.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, to make an online donation.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 Ask for the CD when you get in touch with us.\u00a0 Once again, thanks for your support of the ministry.\u00a0 We do appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us on Monday when we\u2019re going to hear a message from Dr. Russell Moore about how we preserve purity in our marriage relationship.\u00a0 We generally think of purity as a topic that you need to speak about to singles; but married couples need to be focused on purity, as well.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear Dr. Moore address that on Monday.\u00a0 Hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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