{"id":302669,"date":"2013-01-15T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-01-15T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-foundation-of-sinking-sand\/"},"modified":"2013-01-15T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-01-15T17:00:00","slug":"a-foundation-of-sinking-sand","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-foundation-of-sinking-sand\/","title":{"rendered":"A Foundation of Sinking Sand"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Justin and Trisha Davis talk about the years of their marriage and the difficulties that turned them from lovers, to friends, to enemies and eventually strangers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-01-15.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.97M","filesize_raw":"28284579","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2863],"tags":[4692,4837],"podcast_series":[7923],"cwp_profile":[9288],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302669","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-saving-a-marriage","tag-help-my-marriage","tag-troubled-marriage","podcast_series-beyond-ordinary","cwp_profile-justin-and-trisha-davis","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302669\/a-foundation-of-sinking-sand","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302669\/a-foundation-of-sinking-sand","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"6CprepSxCe\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-foundation-of-sinking-sand\/\">A Foundation of Sinking Sand<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-foundation-of-sinking-sand\/embed\/#?secret=6CprepSxCe\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Foundation of Sinking Sand&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"6CprepSxCe\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-01-15.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-01-15.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Trisha Davis can look back today and see how her marriage began its drift toward isolation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 We went from being best friends to eventually becoming enemies.\u00a0 The most dangerous place that we got to is we became strangers.\u00a0 When you become strangers, you stop fighting altogether.\u00a0 You just don\u2019t care.\u00a0 Through those choices\u2014there were consequences that we never thought we would be <em>that couple<\/em>\u2014even though we knew the choices we were making were destructive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, January 15<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Nobody thinks they\u2019re going to be <em>that couple<\/em>; do they?\u00a0 But many of us find ourselves in isolation, not long after we\u2019ve said, \u201cI do.\u201d\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Well, I hope that you\u2019ve gotten all the frivolity out of your system from what we\u2019ve already heard this week.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I think if you haven\u2019t\u00a0 already heard what we talked about this week, I\u2019d encourage you to go back and listen because the story that Justin and Trish Davis tell is absolutely\u2014well, it\u2019s hysterical.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s the story of how they met, how they got married, how they went on their honeymoon.\u00a0 We\u2019ll just leave it at that.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We will.\u00a0\u00a0 They\u2019ve been married since 1995\u2014have three children.\u00a0 Justin is a pastor in the Nashville area, and together they do some blogging.\u00a0 They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Beyond Ordinary<\/em>.\u00a0 <br><br>Your marriage started out with quite a start.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how to summarize it any better than Bob did already; but it wasn\u2019t long into the marriage, before you realized that what you\u2019d bargained for in this relationship was much, much more than you ever imagined.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you found out that you were more different than you\u2019d realized in your year-and-a-half of getting to know one another in dating, and engagement, and all of that; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I think we got into marriage, thinking, \u201cWe love each other.\u00a0 We love each other a lot.\u201d\u00a0 We talked about all of our differences, and we know the differences of our families.\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about\u2014we had gone through some pre-marital counseling.\u00a0 So, we had looked at our upbringings and talked through some of those nuances.\u00a0 We were just convinced that, \u201cOur marriage is going to be different because we love each other differently than everyone else.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who doesn\u2019t think that way on the wedding day?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We all look and go, \u201cLook, doesn\u2019t matter what happens, we\u2019re going to hold together because we\u2019ve just experienced this kind of desperate passion for one another that will never go away.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 It\u2019s what we call our vision.\u00a0 Everybody has a vision for their marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and what that looks like.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we, naively, had this vision because we loved God and because we loved each other\u2014life, even though it was going to be hard\u2014\u201cOur marriage would be different through all of it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you know, the vision will carry you so far; but then, reality occurs around things like Christmas\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you had quite a little disagreement around Christmas and around differences there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and our reality changed just four months into marriage when my flu became more than just a flu; but we found out we were expecting our first child.\u00a0 Within four months, we experienced Thanksgiving, finding out a baby was soon on its way, and then, going into Christmas.\u00a0 So, there were all these first things that we should be celebrating that we still were kind of in the, \u201cThis is the awesome\u2014\u201d until the moment happened.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you 21 yet?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I was 20.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Twenty years old.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had turned 21 in August.\u00a0 Trish was 20.\u00a0 We found out that she was pregnant.\u00a0 It obviously wasn\u2019t planned, and we were both in school.\u00a0 So, money was already a little bit tight; but then, the prospect of bringing a child into the world.\u00a0 It really put the pressure on.\u00a0 I just felt like, \u201cMan, I\u2019ve got to make this happen.\u201d\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we go into Christmas.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have a whole lot of resources, but we decided on a set amount that we would spend on one another.\u00a0 Trisha goes and does her Christmas shopping, and I go do my Christmas shopping.\u00a0 We bring our gifts back.\u00a0 We hide them.\u00a0 We\u2019re on a little bit different schedule.\u00a0 She was working at a Christian daycare, part-time.\u00a0 Then, I was going to school and playing basketball.\u00a0 I had some stuff in the afternoon, and all her stuff was in the morning.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe leaves to go to work.\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to get the gifts out, and we\u2019re going to open gifts,\u201d because Christmas break was coming.\u00a0 This is the last day before Christmas break, and we were going to go home for Christmas and celebrate that with our families.\u00a0 So, this was going to be our Christmastime together.\u00a0 So, she goes to work.\u00a0 I bring out the gifts.\u00a0 I stack them up in a pile.\u00a0 She had her pile on the couch.\u00a0 I had my pile on a chair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, why did you do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s how my family does it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that was the right way to do it; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 That\u2019s\u2014she had been at my house for Christmas.\u00a0 She saw how we opened gifts.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was odd then, too.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, this wasn\u2019t like a foreign concept.\u00a0 She had experienced it.\u00a0 In fact, her very first Christmas at my family\u2019s house\u2014she had more gifts than all of us\u2014which I\u2019m still resentful for, 19 years later! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s true.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 But anyway\u2014so, I stack up the gifts.\u00a0 I get a little\u2014because she is a very organized person.\u00a0 I\u2019m not necessarily that organized.\u00a0 So, I make a label for her gifts.\u00a0 I put \u201cTrisha\u201d on a label.\u00a0 I put it on her gifts.\u00a0 I put \u201cJustin\u201d on a label.\u00a0 I put it on my gifts, and I go off to class.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTrish comes home from work, sees all the gifts stacked up, thinking they are just waiting there for her to put under the tree, which\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 To make them beautiful, under the tree.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 So, anyway\u2014I\u2019m kind of reliving this story as I\u2019m telling it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I can tell.\u00a0 You\u2019re thinking that you\u2019re really playing to her strength of her being organized\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to get kind of a system together\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014according to the biblically-approved way your family did it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Which is so funny\u2014\u201cbiblical way of doing it.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ephesians 5:21 which says, you know, \u201cSubmit to your husband, as unto the Lord.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, I did.\u00a0 I put all the stacks and put them under the tree, like you\u2019re supposed to.\u00a0 Then, I left\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, she left for class.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014for class.\u00a0 I was still going to class, part-time, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, I come home from class.\u00a0 I see that all the gifts are now underneath the tree.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 All your work has been ruined.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat is going on here?!\u00a0 Did someone break into our house?\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I get the gifts from underneath the tree\u2014restack them up.\u00a0 I can\u2019t find the labels.\u00a0 So, I go make new labels for the gifts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh my.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014put the labels back on.\u00a0 Then, I go to basketball practice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 I come home and think, \u201cThis child has lost his mind.\u00a0 Why are we stacking Christmas gifts?\u00a0 This\u201d\u2014it just didn\u2019t seem right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, I come home with this expectant attitude and demeanor of, \u201cWe\u2019re getting ready to celebrate our first Christmas as a married couple.\u201d\u00a0 Trisha just flies into me like, \u201cWhy would you stack up the Christmas gifts?!\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy are they back underneath the tree?\u00a0 That\u2019s ridiculous.\u201d\u00a0 We get into this huge argument about how her family is crazier than mine and my family is crazier than hers and, \u201cThat\u2019s not how we do it,\u201d and, \u201cWe did it this way.\u201d\u00a0 The argument ends with Trisha telling me that she hates me and slamming our bedroom door.\u00a0 And I thought\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 You said, \u201cI hate you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hey, where I\u2019m from, that was just like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s how you do it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and that was like me responding how I would in my own family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And so, she slams the door.\u00a0 I throw out a remark that no husband of a person who is pregnant should ever say.\u00a0 I just blamed all of her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Stuff on her?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014erratic behavior on, \u201cWell, you\u2019re just pregnant.\u00a0 Those are just your hormones talking.\u00a0 You must be really emotional.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what we call that here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 What\u2019s that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A rookie mistake.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That would be a very good description.\u00a0 In my mind, though, I thought, \u201cShe hates me?\u00a0 How does she hate me?\u201d\u00a0 Like, \u201cWe can\u2019t start hate.\u00a0 It should take her years to hate me.\u00a0 We have to work up to hate.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what I mean?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s already there?!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 If we\u2019re already there, five months into our marriage, it\u2019s going to be a long 50 years.\u00a0 You know what I mean?\u00a0 She comes out\u2014probably an hour or so later\u2014and we unwrap Christmas gifts.\u00a0 But what we say, in the book, in looking back on that story\u2014is that was kind of the first time where something that we had put time and effort and thought into\u2014and this was supposed to be a gift for one another\u2014really was an illustration of just how different we were.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can I just say, \u201cIf you had been wise enough to go to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaway before you got married, we could have saved you\u201d\u2014well no, we probably couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 You would have heard how differences\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014affect marital oneness, and how there is this drift toward isolation that occurs in marriage, and differences are a factor to that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if it would have helped the two of you, [Laughter] as I\u2019m hearing this story; but at least, you would have heard it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it would have helped them because it would have given them a vocabulary\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to identify these issues.\u00a0 Secondly, it would have\u2014the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gives people a game plan for forgiveness\u2014to be able to determine, \u201cYes, I have offended her by making a rookie mistake\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and, \u201cWould you forgive me for saying this?\u201d and, \u201cWould you forgive me for saying, \u2018I hate you\u2019?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some conflict resolution skills there; yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 It would help you get out of the ditch with\u2014back to the vision aspect of, \u201cWhy has God put us together in the first place?\u00a0 What is the vision for this marriage relationship?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and we ought to mention, right here, that we are about to kick off our spring season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, right before Valentine\u2019s Day.\u00a0 That\u2019s opening weekend.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to be at the Gaylord National Hotel in Washington, DC, and you\u2019re going to be speaking there.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to be out in Hershey, Pennsylvania, the next weekend, at the Hershey Conference Center.\u00a0 This is right after Valentine\u2019s Day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got dozens of events happening in cities, all across the country, throughout the spring.\u00a0 If our listeners would like to attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, they can sign up this week or next week.\u00a0 When they identify themselves at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014when you register for yourself, your spouse comes free.\u00a0 It\u2019s a buy one\/get one free special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 Now, you have to identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener.\u00a0 So, that means if you\u2019re filling out the registration form online, you type my name.\u00a0 You type \u201cBOB\u201d in the promotional code box you see on the registration form.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you call to register, 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number\u20141-800-FL-TODAY\u2014just say, \u201cI\u2019m listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and we need to go to one of these events and take advantage of the special offer, the buy one\/get one free offer.\u201d\u00a0 You can call right now, and we can do that for you.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY or online at FamilyLifeToday.com to take advantage of the buy one\/get one free opportunity for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway this spring.\u00a0 <br><br>And for you guys, not only did you not go during your engagement or during the first year of your marriage, you continued to not go\u2014even when friends were offering to pay for it for you, years later, in your marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, and that\u2019s why the title of our book is <em>Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Isn\u2019t Good Enough<\/em> because I think for most of us that feel like we\u2019re in a healthy place\u2014\u201cWe have a good marriage,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s not until we hit crisis mode that, then, we make the time for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> or to go to counseling.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think even if it was offered, from our backgrounds, we felt like we were winning.\u00a0 We did everything \u201cright\u201d.\u00a0 We went to Bible College.\u00a0 Justin was going to graduate from college.\u00a0 I graduated from high school.\u00a0 We got pregnant <em>after<\/em> we got married.\u00a0 In our minds, we had truly convinced ourselves that we were doing it right; so, therefore, things will continue to go up and into the right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Play by the rules, and marriage will all work out?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you don\u2019t realize that this is not a recipe that God\u2019s given us in the Scriptures to say, \u201cLook, do a little of this and a little of that; and the cake will always turn out perfectly.\u201d\u00a0 Real life is going to come at you, and you better be ready for it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And in real life, if it hits you, all of a sudden, you\u2019d be able to spot it; but the problem is the erosion occurs over a number of months\u2014years\u2014until finally, they are isolated; and they\u2019re set up for something that is a true crisis.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That occurred in your marriage?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 We talk about how we went from being best friends, to being friends, to eventually becoming enemies.\u00a0 The most dangerous place that we got to was we became strangers.\u00a0 When you become strangers, you stop fighting altogether.\u00a0 You just don\u2019t care.\u00a0 After 10 years of marriage, and ministry, and three kids coming into the picture, we would fight for our children, we would fight to have successful ministry; but we kept on putting our marriage on the back burner.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we kept drifting further and further through those choices\u2014there were consequences that we never put the weight to them.\u00a0 We just never thought we would be <em>that couple<\/em>\u2014even though we knew the choices we were making were destructive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What did enemies look like?\u00a0 I mean, you said you got to a point where you\u2019d gone from being good friends, to being friends, to being enemies.\u00a0 You\u2019re in ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, were you\u2014behind the walls of your house\u2014was there passive\/ aggressive?\u00a0 Was there anger?\u00a0 Was there\u2014what was happening?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think a story that really illustrates it pretty well was we started a church in 2002 in Indianapolis.\u00a0 Trish and I shared that vision, together, intimately.\u00a0 We were in it together.\u00a0 As the church began to grow, I began to reassign her to different places that we had holes.\u00a0 She was kind of a utility player.\u00a0\u00a0 Initially, I needed her to help with hospitality because she\u2019s going to be welcoming, and people are going to love her, and people get to know her.\u00a0 Then, we found a hospitality leader.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, she led worship for us every single week for the first year of the church.\u00a0 Then, we hired a worship leader.\u00a0 About a year and a half into the church plant, she and a group of people go to a Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago.\u00a0 That\u2019s about a three-hour drive for the Arts Conference.\u00a0 This is like the very first conference that we actually had the money to send people to. It was amazing.\u00a0 We were excited about it.\u00a0 They go to the Arts Conference.\u00a0 Well, that left me home with three kids, six and under.\u00a0 You know, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI\u2019m doing the great dad thing.\u00a0 I\u2019m taking one, for the team, because she\u2019s going to this conference.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to take some vacation time and stay home with the kids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the last day of the conference, I know she\u2019s going to be home.\u00a0 I think, \u201cI\u2019m going to make frozen pizza for lunch.\u00a0 I can\u2019t mess that up.\u201d\u00a0 I turn the oven on, put the pizza in.\u00a0 Twenty minutes later, the pizza is ready.\u00a0 I open the oven door to get the pizza out, and my 18-month-old son is at my feet.\u00a0 I trip over him.\u00a0 He loses his balance and falls into the oven and tries to brace himself.\u00a0 He puts his hands down on the open oven door.\u00a0 Instantly, you know, he starts screaming.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy first phone call was to Trisha, \u201cWhere are you?\u00a0 Where are you at?\u201d\u00a0 They were just leaving the Arts Conference.\u00a0 She says she\u2019s about three hours away.\u00a0 That just infuriated me that she wasn\u2019t there.\u00a0 A couple hours go by.\u00a0 I explain to her what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 She\u2019s like, \u201cDoes he need to go to the doctor?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s that bad, but I don\u2019t know.\u201d\u00a0 So, I went to the store\u2014got some gauze.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy this time, dinner is approaching.\u00a0 I think, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m just going to take him to go play at the McDonald\u2019s Playland.\u201d\u00a0 We go play at McDonald\u2019s Playland for a little while.\u00a0 I call her to see where they are at, and they\u2019re stuck in traffic.\u00a0 My blood pressure is just going up and up.\u00a0\u00a0 I have an elder\u2019s meeting that night that I need to get to.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to make me late for it.\u00a0 I just know she\u2019s not going to be here on time.\u00a0 I feed the boys dinner.\u00a0 On the way back from McDonald\u2019s, Isaiah, the son that fell into the oven, throws up everywhere\u2014pukes all over the car, all over his car seat.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI call Trish.\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cWhere are you?\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s like, \u201cWe\u2019re about half an hour away.\u201d\u00a0 I am so mad at this point that she\u2019s not there.\u00a0 I take the car seat out of the car\u2014refuse to clean up the puke.\u00a0 She pulls into the driveway.\u00a0 I hand her our son.\u00a0 I jump into the car and drive to our elders\u2019 meeting to lead our church, spiritually.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what an enemy looks like because none of that was her fault; but in my mind, by not being there, she had caused all of this to happen.\u00a0 I was projecting all of my anger on her for a situation that literally had nothing to do with her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And there is something else that that illustrates, in terms of being enemies with each other.\u00a0 Usually, it is something that has taken up the love of your life\u2014that\u2019s more than the marriage\u2014and truly Jesus Christ.\u00a0 And what\u2014as I was looking through your book, I had to say you loved the ministry.\u00a0 You loved the ministry more than\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014your marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014more than your family, and put it continuously ahead of them.\u00a0 Enemies don\u2019t necessarily get back at each other by always coming at each other, frontally.\u00a0 Sometimes, it is just neglect.\u00a0 It\u2019s apathy.\u00a0 It\u2019s, \u201cI\u2019m not going to give here. I\u2019m going to give <em>there<\/em> because I love this more than you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and people\u2014you know, I think people that struggle\u2014it doesn\u2019t have to be ministry\u2014maybe there is an architect, or maybe there\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014a teacher, or a coach, or whatever your occupation is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014or a hobby or a sport.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014or maybe it\u2019s the kids.\u00a0 It can be a mom who is more in love with her kids than she is with their daddy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 But when you are constantly getting rewarded or feedback\u2014you know, ministry, for me, was a way to accumulate accolades.\u00a0 It was a way to accumulate compliments.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to get complimented at home\u2014I\u2019m getting railed on for how I show up 30 minutes late for dinner.\u00a0 I\u2019m not getting\u2014I\u2019m getting told every Sunday what a great sermon that was.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0\u00a0 You kind of drift to the place where you are receiving love if you\u2019re not intentionally pursuing your spouse.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was a characteristic of us.\u00a0 Trisha dove into being a stay-at-home mom.\u00a0 That was her identity.\u00a0 I dove into the ministry.\u00a0 That became my identity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, if you were to describe your marriage, ten years in\u2014just say\u2014I mean, you\u2019ve given us the picture\u2014but if you were looking back on it, you would say, \u201cThe condition of our marriage on a scale of one to ten...\u201d\u2014where were you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ten, being outstanding\u2014one, being in the ditch\u2014all four wheels.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think we were in the negative, and we had no idea.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 We thought we were operating at about a seven, and we were operating, probably, at a negative two.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, in 2005, it was our ten-year anniversary.\u00a0 The church was running at about 500-plus people.\u00a0 So, in three years\u2014just the growth\u2014the amount of staff we had.\u00a0 We ended up going on a cruise for our anniversary, just he and I\u2014which, he\u2019s a pastor\u2014so it was cruise where we went out into the ocean and, then, came back.\u00a0 But we still got to go, and no hay trucks on fire or anything of that nature.\u00a0 What it did is\u2014it gave us the time and space just to be with each other, and the bride of Christ couldn\u2019t come along.\u00a0 I felt like I had Justin all to myself, and it was a great experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We got back to the States.\u00a0 As we were waiting for our flight home, we sat in a restaurant.\u00a0 Literally, when he sat down, his phone rang; and I just started bawling.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even realize that that was my reaction, but I could not stop crying.\u00a0 Justin got off the phone, kind of looking at me like, \u201cI just took you on a cruise, woman.\u00a0 Why are you crying all of a sudden?\u201d\u00a0 I just told him, \u201cI don\u2019t want to go back.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go back to being enemies.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go back to being a mom.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go back to church.\u00a0 I just want to be with you.\u201d\u00a0 But we knew that that wasn\u2019t possible, and the environment that we were going back to was not going to cultivate oneness.\u00a0 I had no idea that we would drift so quickly, so fast, and so far from not only being enemies to being strangers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWithin the next three months, Justin came home after a typical Sunday.\u00a0 I was taking a nap.\u00a0 He came into our room and just abruptly said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to do this anymore.\u201d\u00a0 I was thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t either.\u00a0 This is\u2014we\u2019re on the same page.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t want to be married to you anymore.\u00a0 I\u2019m not in love with you.\u00a0 I\u2019m having an affair with your best friend,\u201d who is also our children\u2019s director, \u201cand I\u2019m done.\u00a0 I\u2019m done pretending.\u00a0 I\u2019m done living this life.\u00a0 I want out.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the reason you started crying when the phone rang was because one of the mistresses in Justin\u2019s life was on the phone.\u00a0 It was the church, and you realized you were going to have to share your husband again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to find out more about this story, and it is\u2014I\u2019ve got to tell our listeners\u2014it\u2019s one you don\u2019t want to miss because it\u2019s a great story of redemption and forgiveness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and you guys do a great job of telling the story in your book, <em>Beyond Ordinary<\/em>, which we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy of the book.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, let me just once again encourage listeners\u2014you need to be doing the kind of preventive maintenance in a marriage that keeps you from getting to the place that Justin and Trisha got to.\u00a0 I know a lot of couples think, \u201cWe don\u2019t need to do one of these weekend getaways because our marriage is fine;\u201d but the truth is all of us need to do regular preventive maintenance.\u00a0 All of us need to spend time, focusing on our marriage.\u00a0 We need to combat the inertia that happens in every marriage relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mention it because we are about to kick off the spring season for our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to be hosting them in cities, all across the country, this spring.\u00a0 We start the weekend before Valentine\u2019s Day in the Washington, DC, area and in other cities that weekend.\u00a0 I mentioned Washington, DC, because Dennis is going to be speaking at the Gaylord National Hotel at National Harbor in the DC area.\u00a0 Then, the next weekend, right after Valentine\u2019s Day, I\u2019m going to be out at the Hershey Lodge in Hershey, Pennsylvania.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be speaking at that <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got dozens of these events happening, all across the country, this spring.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week and next week, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners can sign up to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway.\u00a0 When you register for yourself, your spouse comes at no additional charge.\u00a0 It\u2019s a buy one\/get one free registration for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s good this week and next week, and it\u2019s only good for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click on the \u201c<em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u201d link.\u00a0 As you fill out the registration form, you\u2019ll come to the box that says, \u201cPromotion Code\u201d \u2014type in my name\u2014type in \u201cBOB\u201d.\u00a0 Then, as you finish the registration, we will apply the special offer.\u00a0 Or simply call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Mention that you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and you want to take advantage of the special offer.\u00a0 Register, over the phone, for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014the toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 The offer is good this week and next week only.\u00a0 Get in touch with us and take advantage of this special offer.\u00a0 Come join us in Washington, DC, in Hershey, Pennsylvania\u2014in any of the dozens of cities where the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is going to be taking place this spring; but take advantage of the special offer now and get in touch with us.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you this spring at one of these upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd let me encourage you, again, to be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear how God intervened in Justin and Trisha Davis\u2019s marriage to take them from the isolation they were in to a place where their marriage today is <em>Beyond Ordinary<\/em>.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.97M"],"filesize_raw":["28284579"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302669.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302669.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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and Trisha Davis talk about the years of their marriage and the difficulties that turned them from lovers, to friends, to enemies and eventually strangers.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2013-01-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Trisha Davis can look back today and see how her marriage began its drift toward isolation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 We went from being best friends to eventually becoming enemies.\u00a0 The most dangerous place that we got to is we became strangers.\u00a0 When you become strangers, you stop fighting altogether.\u00a0 You just don\u2019t care.\u00a0 Through those choices\u2014there were consequences that we never thought we would be <em>that couple<\/em>\u2014even though we knew the choices we were making were destructive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, January 15<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Nobody thinks they\u2019re going to be <em>that couple<\/em>; do they?\u00a0 But many of us find ourselves in isolation, not long after we\u2019ve said, \u201cI do.\u201d\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Well, I hope that you\u2019ve gotten all the frivolity out of your system from what we\u2019ve already heard this week.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I think if you haven\u2019t\u00a0 already heard what we talked about this week, I\u2019d encourage you to go back and listen because the story that Justin and Trish Davis tell is absolutely\u2014well, it\u2019s hysterical.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s the story of how they met, how they got married, how they went on their honeymoon.\u00a0 We\u2019ll just leave it at that.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We will.\u00a0\u00a0 They\u2019ve been married since 1995\u2014have three children.\u00a0 Justin is a pastor in the Nashville area, and together they do some blogging.\u00a0 They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Beyond Ordinary<\/em>.\u00a0 <br><br>Your marriage started out with quite a start.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how to summarize it any better than Bob did already; but it wasn\u2019t long into the marriage, before you realized that what you\u2019d bargained for in this relationship was much, much more than you ever imagined.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you found out that you were more different than you\u2019d realized in your year-and-a-half of getting to know one another in dating, and engagement, and all of that; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I think we got into marriage, thinking, \u201cWe love each other.\u00a0 We love each other a lot.\u201d\u00a0 We talked about all of our differences, and we know the differences of our families.\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about\u2014we had gone through some pre-marital counseling.\u00a0 So, we had looked at our upbringings and talked through some of those nuances.\u00a0 We were just convinced that, \u201cOur marriage is going to be different because we love each other differently than everyone else.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who doesn\u2019t think that way on the wedding day?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We all look and go, \u201cLook, doesn\u2019t matter what happens, we\u2019re going to hold together because we\u2019ve just experienced this kind of desperate passion for one another that will never go away.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 It\u2019s what we call our vision.\u00a0 Everybody has a vision for their marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and what that looks like.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we, naively, had this vision because we loved God and because we loved each other\u2014life, even though it was going to be hard\u2014\u201cOur marriage would be different through all of it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you know, the vision will carry you so far; but then, reality occurs around things like Christmas\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you had quite a little disagreement around Christmas and around differences there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and our reality changed just four months into marriage when my flu became more than just a flu; but we found out we were expecting our first child.\u00a0 Within four months, we experienced Thanksgiving, finding out a baby was soon on its way, and then, going into Christmas.\u00a0 So, there were all these first things that we should be celebrating that we still were kind of in the, \u201cThis is the awesome\u2014\u201d until the moment happened.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you 21 yet?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I was 20.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Twenty years old.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had turned 21 in August.\u00a0 Trish was 20.\u00a0 We found out that she was pregnant.\u00a0 It obviously wasn\u2019t planned, and we were both in school.\u00a0 So, money was already a little bit tight; but then, the prospect of bringing a child into the world.\u00a0 It really put the pressure on.\u00a0 I just felt like, \u201cMan, I\u2019ve got to make this happen.\u201d\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we go into Christmas.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have a whole lot of resources, but we decided on a set amount that we would spend on one another.\u00a0 Trisha goes and does her Christmas shopping, and I go do my Christmas shopping.\u00a0 We bring our gifts back.\u00a0 We hide them.\u00a0 We\u2019re on a little bit different schedule.\u00a0 She was working at a Christian daycare, part-time.\u00a0 Then, I was going to school and playing basketball.\u00a0 I had some stuff in the afternoon, and all her stuff was in the morning.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe leaves to go to work.\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to get the gifts out, and we\u2019re going to open gifts,\u201d because Christmas break was coming.\u00a0 This is the last day before Christmas break, and we were going to go home for Christmas and celebrate that with our families.\u00a0 So, this was going to be our Christmastime together.\u00a0 So, she goes to work.\u00a0 I bring out the gifts.\u00a0 I stack them up in a pile.\u00a0 She had her pile on the couch.\u00a0 I had my pile on a chair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, why did you do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s how my family does it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that was the right way to do it; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 That\u2019s\u2014she had been at my house for Christmas.\u00a0 She saw how we opened gifts.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was odd then, too.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, this wasn\u2019t like a foreign concept.\u00a0 She had experienced it.\u00a0 In fact, her very first Christmas at my family\u2019s house\u2014she had more gifts than all of us\u2014which I\u2019m still resentful for, 19 years later! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s true.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 But anyway\u2014so, I stack up the gifts.\u00a0 I get a little\u2014because she is a very organized person.\u00a0 I\u2019m not necessarily that organized.\u00a0 So, I make a label for her gifts.\u00a0 I put \u201cTrisha\u201d on a label.\u00a0 I put it on her gifts.\u00a0 I put \u201cJustin\u201d on a label.\u00a0 I put it on my gifts, and I go off to class.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTrish comes home from work, sees all the gifts stacked up, thinking they are just waiting there for her to put under the tree, which\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 To make them beautiful, under the tree.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 So, anyway\u2014I\u2019m kind of reliving this story as I\u2019m telling it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I can tell.\u00a0 You\u2019re thinking that you\u2019re really playing to her strength of her being organized\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to get kind of a system together\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014according to the biblically-approved way your family did it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Which is so funny\u2014\u201cbiblical way of doing it.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ephesians 5:21 which says, you know, \u201cSubmit to your husband, as unto the Lord.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, I did.\u00a0 I put all the stacks and put them under the tree, like you\u2019re supposed to.\u00a0 Then, I left\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, she left for class.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014for class.\u00a0 I was still going to class, part-time, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, I come home from class.\u00a0 I see that all the gifts are now underneath the tree.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 All your work has been ruined.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat is going on here?!\u00a0 Did someone break into our house?\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I get the gifts from underneath the tree\u2014restack them up.\u00a0 I can\u2019t find the labels.\u00a0 So, I go make new labels for the gifts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh my.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014put the labels back on.\u00a0 Then, I go to basketball practice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 I come home and think, \u201cThis child has lost his mind.\u00a0 Why are we stacking Christmas gifts?\u00a0 This\u201d\u2014it just didn\u2019t seem right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, I come home with this expectant attitude and demeanor of, \u201cWe\u2019re getting ready to celebrate our first Christmas as a married couple.\u201d\u00a0 Trisha just flies into me like, \u201cWhy would you stack up the Christmas gifts?!\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy are they back underneath the tree?\u00a0 That\u2019s ridiculous.\u201d\u00a0 We get into this huge argument about how her family is crazier than mine and my family is crazier than hers and, \u201cThat\u2019s not how we do it,\u201d and, \u201cWe did it this way.\u201d\u00a0 The argument ends with Trisha telling me that she hates me and slamming our bedroom door.\u00a0 And I thought\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 You said, \u201cI hate you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hey, where I\u2019m from, that was just like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s how you do it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and that was like me responding how I would in my own family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And so, she slams the door.\u00a0 I throw out a remark that no husband of a person who is pregnant should ever say.\u00a0 I just blamed all of her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Stuff on her?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014erratic behavior on, \u201cWell, you\u2019re just pregnant.\u00a0 Those are just your hormones talking.\u00a0 You must be really emotional.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what we call that here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 What\u2019s that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A rookie mistake.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That would be a very good description.\u00a0 In my mind, though, I thought, \u201cShe hates me?\u00a0 How does she hate me?\u201d\u00a0 Like, \u201cWe can\u2019t start hate.\u00a0 It should take her years to hate me.\u00a0 We have to work up to hate.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what I mean?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s already there?!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 If we\u2019re already there, five months into our marriage, it\u2019s going to be a long 50 years.\u00a0 You know what I mean?\u00a0 She comes out\u2014probably an hour or so later\u2014and we unwrap Christmas gifts.\u00a0 But what we say, in the book, in looking back on that story\u2014is that was kind of the first time where something that we had put time and effort and thought into\u2014and this was supposed to be a gift for one another\u2014really was an illustration of just how different we were.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can I just say, \u201cIf you had been wise enough to go to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaway before you got married, we could have saved you\u201d\u2014well no, we probably couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 You would have heard how differences\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014affect marital oneness, and how there is this drift toward isolation that occurs in marriage, and differences are a factor to that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if it would have helped the two of you, [Laughter] as I\u2019m hearing this story; but at least, you would have heard it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it would have helped them because it would have given them a vocabulary\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to identify these issues.\u00a0 Secondly, it would have\u2014the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gives people a game plan for forgiveness\u2014to be able to determine, \u201cYes, I have offended her by making a rookie mistake\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and, \u201cWould you forgive me for saying this?\u201d and, \u201cWould you forgive me for saying, \u2018I hate you\u2019?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some conflict resolution skills there; yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 It would help you get out of the ditch with\u2014back to the vision aspect of, \u201cWhy has God put us together in the first place?\u00a0 What is the vision for this marriage relationship?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and we ought to mention, right here, that we are about to kick off our spring season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, right before Valentine\u2019s Day.\u00a0 That\u2019s opening weekend.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to be at the Gaylord National Hotel in Washington, DC, and you\u2019re going to be speaking there.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to be out in Hershey, Pennsylvania, the next weekend, at the Hershey Conference Center.\u00a0 This is right after Valentine\u2019s Day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got dozens of events happening in cities, all across the country, throughout the spring.\u00a0 If our listeners would like to attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, they can sign up this week or next week.\u00a0 When they identify themselves at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014when you register for yourself, your spouse comes free.\u00a0 It\u2019s a buy one\/get one free special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 Now, you have to identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener.\u00a0 So, that means if you\u2019re filling out the registration form online, you type my name.\u00a0 You type \u201cBOB\u201d in the promotional code box you see on the registration form.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you call to register, 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number\u20141-800-FL-TODAY\u2014just say, \u201cI\u2019m listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and we need to go to one of these events and take advantage of the special offer, the buy one\/get one free offer.\u201d\u00a0 You can call right now, and we can do that for you.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY or online at FamilyLifeToday.com to take advantage of the buy one\/get one free opportunity for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway this spring.\u00a0 <br><br>And for you guys, not only did you not go during your engagement or during the first year of your marriage, you continued to not go\u2014even when friends were offering to pay for it for you, years later, in your marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, and that\u2019s why the title of our book is <em>Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Isn\u2019t Good Enough<\/em> because I think for most of us that feel like we\u2019re in a healthy place\u2014\u201cWe have a good marriage,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s not until we hit crisis mode that, then, we make the time for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> or to go to counseling.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think even if it was offered, from our backgrounds, we felt like we were winning.\u00a0 We did everything \u201cright\u201d.\u00a0 We went to Bible College.\u00a0 Justin was going to graduate from college.\u00a0 I graduated from high school.\u00a0 We got pregnant <em>after<\/em> we got married.\u00a0 In our minds, we had truly convinced ourselves that we were doing it right; so, therefore, things will continue to go up and into the right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Play by the rules, and marriage will all work out?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you don\u2019t realize that this is not a recipe that God\u2019s given us in the Scriptures to say, \u201cLook, do a little of this and a little of that; and the cake will always turn out perfectly.\u201d\u00a0 Real life is going to come at you, and you better be ready for it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And in real life, if it hits you, all of a sudden, you\u2019d be able to spot it; but the problem is the erosion occurs over a number of months\u2014years\u2014until finally, they are isolated; and they\u2019re set up for something that is a true crisis.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That occurred in your marriage?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 We talk about how we went from being best friends, to being friends, to eventually becoming enemies.\u00a0 The most dangerous place that we got to was we became strangers.\u00a0 When you become strangers, you stop fighting altogether.\u00a0 You just don\u2019t care.\u00a0 After 10 years of marriage, and ministry, and three kids coming into the picture, we would fight for our children, we would fight to have successful ministry; but we kept on putting our marriage on the back burner.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we kept drifting further and further through those choices\u2014there were consequences that we never put the weight to them.\u00a0 We just never thought we would be <em>that couple<\/em>\u2014even though we knew the choices we were making were destructive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What did enemies look like?\u00a0 I mean, you said you got to a point where you\u2019d gone from being good friends, to being friends, to being enemies.\u00a0 You\u2019re in ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, were you\u2014behind the walls of your house\u2014was there passive\/ aggressive?\u00a0 Was there anger?\u00a0 Was there\u2014what was happening?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think a story that really illustrates it pretty well was we started a church in 2002 in Indianapolis.\u00a0 Trish and I shared that vision, together, intimately.\u00a0 We were in it together.\u00a0 As the church began to grow, I began to reassign her to different places that we had holes.\u00a0 She was kind of a utility player.\u00a0\u00a0 Initially, I needed her to help with hospitality because she\u2019s going to be welcoming, and people are going to love her, and people get to know her.\u00a0 Then, we found a hospitality leader.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, she led worship for us every single week for the first year of the church.\u00a0 Then, we hired a worship leader.\u00a0 About a year and a half into the church plant, she and a group of people go to a Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago.\u00a0 That\u2019s about a three-hour drive for the Arts Conference.\u00a0 This is like the very first conference that we actually had the money to send people to. It was amazing.\u00a0 We were excited about it.\u00a0 They go to the Arts Conference.\u00a0 Well, that left me home with three kids, six and under.\u00a0 You know, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI\u2019m doing the great dad thing.\u00a0 I\u2019m taking one, for the team, because she\u2019s going to this conference.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to take some vacation time and stay home with the kids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the last day of the conference, I know she\u2019s going to be home.\u00a0 I think, \u201cI\u2019m going to make frozen pizza for lunch.\u00a0 I can\u2019t mess that up.\u201d\u00a0 I turn the oven on, put the pizza in.\u00a0 Twenty minutes later, the pizza is ready.\u00a0 I open the oven door to get the pizza out, and my 18-month-old son is at my feet.\u00a0 I trip over him.\u00a0 He loses his balance and falls into the oven and tries to brace himself.\u00a0 He puts his hands down on the open oven door.\u00a0 Instantly, you know, he starts screaming.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy first phone call was to Trisha, \u201cWhere are you?\u00a0 Where are you at?\u201d\u00a0 They were just leaving the Arts Conference.\u00a0 She says she\u2019s about three hours away.\u00a0 That just infuriated me that she wasn\u2019t there.\u00a0 A couple hours go by.\u00a0 I explain to her what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 She\u2019s like, \u201cDoes he need to go to the doctor?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s that bad, but I don\u2019t know.\u201d\u00a0 So, I went to the store\u2014got some gauze.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy this time, dinner is approaching.\u00a0 I think, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m just going to take him to go play at the McDonald\u2019s Playland.\u201d\u00a0 We go play at McDonald\u2019s Playland for a little while.\u00a0 I call her to see where they are at, and they\u2019re stuck in traffic.\u00a0 My blood pressure is just going up and up.\u00a0\u00a0 I have an elder\u2019s meeting that night that I need to get to.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to make me late for it.\u00a0 I just know she\u2019s not going to be here on time.\u00a0 I feed the boys dinner.\u00a0 On the way back from McDonald\u2019s, Isaiah, the son that fell into the oven, throws up everywhere\u2014pukes all over the car, all over his car seat.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI call Trish.\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cWhere are you?\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s like, \u201cWe\u2019re about half an hour away.\u201d\u00a0 I am so mad at this point that she\u2019s not there.\u00a0 I take the car seat out of the car\u2014refuse to clean up the puke.\u00a0 She pulls into the driveway.\u00a0 I hand her our son.\u00a0 I jump into the car and drive to our elders\u2019 meeting to lead our church, spiritually.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what an enemy looks like because none of that was her fault; but in my mind, by not being there, she had caused all of this to happen.\u00a0 I was projecting all of my anger on her for a situation that literally had nothing to do with her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And there is something else that that illustrates, in terms of being enemies with each other.\u00a0 Usually, it is something that has taken up the love of your life\u2014that\u2019s more than the marriage\u2014and truly Jesus Christ.\u00a0 And what\u2014as I was looking through your book, I had to say you loved the ministry.\u00a0 You loved the ministry more than\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014your marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014more than your family, and put it continuously ahead of them.\u00a0 Enemies don\u2019t necessarily get back at each other by always coming at each other, frontally.\u00a0 Sometimes, it is just neglect.\u00a0 It\u2019s apathy.\u00a0 It\u2019s, \u201cI\u2019m not going to give here. I\u2019m going to give <em>there<\/em> because I love this more than you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and people\u2014you know, I think people that struggle\u2014it doesn\u2019t have to be ministry\u2014maybe there is an architect, or maybe there\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014a teacher, or a coach, or whatever your occupation is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014or a hobby or a sport.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014or maybe it\u2019s the kids.\u00a0 It can be a mom who is more in love with her kids than she is with their daddy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 But when you are constantly getting rewarded or feedback\u2014you know, ministry, for me, was a way to accumulate accolades.\u00a0 It was a way to accumulate compliments.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to get complimented at home\u2014I\u2019m getting railed on for how I show up 30 minutes late for dinner.\u00a0 I\u2019m not getting\u2014I\u2019m getting told every Sunday what a great sermon that was.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0\u00a0 You kind of drift to the place where you are receiving love if you\u2019re not intentionally pursuing your spouse.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was a characteristic of us.\u00a0 Trisha dove into being a stay-at-home mom.\u00a0 That was her identity.\u00a0 I dove into the ministry.\u00a0 That became my identity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, if you were to describe your marriage, ten years in\u2014just say\u2014I mean, you\u2019ve given us the picture\u2014but if you were looking back on it, you would say, \u201cThe condition of our marriage on a scale of one to ten...\u201d\u2014where were you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ten, being outstanding\u2014one, being in the ditch\u2014all four wheels.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think we were in the negative, and we had no idea.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 We thought we were operating at about a seven, and we were operating, probably, at a negative two.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trisha:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, in 2005, it was our ten-year anniversary.\u00a0 The church was running at about 500-plus people.\u00a0 So, in three years\u2014just the growth\u2014the amount of staff we had.\u00a0 We ended up going on a cruise for our anniversary, just he and I\u2014which, he\u2019s a pastor\u2014so it was cruise where we went out into the ocean and, then, came back.\u00a0 But we still got to go, and no hay trucks on fire or anything of that nature.\u00a0 What it did is\u2014it gave us the time and space just to be with each other, and the bride of Christ couldn\u2019t come along.\u00a0 I felt like I had Justin all to myself, and it was a great experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We got back to the States.\u00a0 As we were waiting for our flight home, we sat in a restaurant.\u00a0 Literally, when he sat down, his phone rang; and I just started bawling.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even realize that that was my reaction, but I could not stop crying.\u00a0 Justin got off the phone, kind of looking at me like, \u201cI just took you on a cruise, woman.\u00a0 Why are you crying all of a sudden?\u201d\u00a0 I just told him, \u201cI don\u2019t want to go back.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go back to being enemies.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go back to being a mom.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go back to church.\u00a0 I just want to be with you.\u201d\u00a0 But we knew that that wasn\u2019t possible, and the environment that we were going back to was not going to cultivate oneness.\u00a0 I had no idea that we would drift so quickly, so fast, and so far from not only being enemies to being strangers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWithin the next three months, Justin came home after a typical Sunday.\u00a0 I was taking a nap.\u00a0 He came into our room and just abruptly said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to do this anymore.\u201d\u00a0 I was thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t either.\u00a0 This is\u2014we\u2019re on the same page.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t want to be married to you anymore.\u00a0 I\u2019m not in love with you.\u00a0 I\u2019m having an affair with your best friend,\u201d who is also our children\u2019s director, \u201cand I\u2019m done.\u00a0 I\u2019m done pretending.\u00a0 I\u2019m done living this life.\u00a0 I want out.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the reason you started crying when the phone rang was because one of the mistresses in Justin\u2019s life was on the phone.\u00a0 It was the church, and you realized you were going to have to share your husband again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to find out more about this story, and it is\u2014I\u2019ve got to tell our listeners\u2014it\u2019s one you don\u2019t want to miss because it\u2019s a great story of redemption and forgiveness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and you guys do a great job of telling the story in your book, <em>Beyond Ordinary<\/em>, which we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy of the book.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, let me just once again encourage listeners\u2014you need to be doing the kind of preventive maintenance in a marriage that keeps you from getting to the place that Justin and Trisha got to.\u00a0 I know a lot of couples think, \u201cWe don\u2019t need to do one of these weekend getaways because our marriage is fine;\u201d but the truth is all of us need to do regular preventive maintenance.\u00a0 All of us need to spend time, focusing on our marriage.\u00a0 We need to combat the inertia that happens in every marriage relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mention it because we are about to kick off the spring season for our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to be hosting them in cities, all across the country, this spring.\u00a0 We start the weekend before Valentine\u2019s Day in the Washington, DC, area and in other cities that weekend.\u00a0 I mentioned Washington, DC, because Dennis is going to be speaking at the Gaylord National Hotel at National Harbor in the DC area.\u00a0 Then, the next weekend, right after Valentine\u2019s Day, I\u2019m going to be out at the Hershey Lodge in Hershey, Pennsylvania.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be speaking at that <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got dozens of these events happening, all across the country, this spring.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week and next week, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners can sign up to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway.\u00a0 When you register for yourself, your spouse comes at no additional charge.\u00a0 It\u2019s a buy one\/get one free registration for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s good this week and next week, and it\u2019s only good for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click on the \u201c<em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u201d link.\u00a0 As you fill out the registration form, you\u2019ll come to the box that says, \u201cPromotion Code\u201d \u2014type in my name\u2014type in \u201cBOB\u201d.\u00a0 Then, as you finish the registration, we will apply the special offer.\u00a0 Or simply call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Mention that you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and you want to take advantage of the special offer.\u00a0 Register, over the phone, for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014the toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 The offer is good this week and next week only.\u00a0 Get in touch with us and take advantage of this special offer.\u00a0 Come join us in Washington, DC, in Hershey, Pennsylvania\u2014in any of the dozens of cities where the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is going to be taking place this spring; but take advantage of the special offer now and get in touch with us.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you this spring at one of these upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd let me encourage you, again, to be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear how God intervened in Justin and Trisha Davis\u2019s marriage to take them from the isolation they were in to a place where their marriage today is <em>Beyond Ordinary<\/em>.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302669","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302669"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302669"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302669"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302669"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302669"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302669"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302669"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}