{"id":302642,"date":"2012-12-03T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-12-03T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/unequally-yoked-three-stories\/"},"modified":"2012-12-03T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-12-03T17:00:00","slug":"unequally-yoked-three-stories","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/unequally-yoked-three-stories\/","title":{"rendered":"Unequally Yoked: Three Stories"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you wish you and your husband were on the same page spiritually?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-12-03.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.75M","filesize_raw":"28051749","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2861],"tags":[2210],"podcast_series":[7915],"cwp_profile":[9284,9283,3414],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302642","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritually-mismatched","tag-prayer","podcast_series-married-to-an-unbeliever","cwp_profile-darla-stone","cwp_profile-dineen-miller","cwp_profile-lynn-donovan","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302642\/unequally-yoked-three-stories","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302642\/unequally-yoked-three-stories","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"AJgKezlk7V\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/unequally-yoked-three-stories\/\">Unequally Yoked: Three Stories<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/unequally-yoked-three-stories\/embed\/#?secret=AJgKezlk7V\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Unequally Yoked: Three Stories&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"AJgKezlk7V\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-12-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-12-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dineen Miller remembers, being a fairly new Christian, hoping, wishing, and praying that her husband would join her on the journey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 One day my husband came home with a Bible.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cOkay, here we go.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to open that book.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be hooked.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be on the journey with me, and we\u2019re going to be this couple in church.\u201d\u00a0 But an argument just sparked into the wee hours of the morning, and he finally told me that he decided he was an atheist.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, December 3<sup>rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 How do you pursue oneness in a marriage relationship when you and your spouse are in completely different places when it comes to the thing that is most important to you in your life?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about that today.\u00a0 Stay with us.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, most of us live in a place or in a time where we really don\u2019t have a lot to do with yokes unless we\u2019re cooking eggs; right?\u00a0 I mean, you hear about yoking\u2014you think of eggs, not oxen.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You and I have been doing radio for 20 years.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I\u2019m always astounded where you come up with the transition into what we\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about spiritually-mismatched marriages, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you ever wondered\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you begin with an egg yolk.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you ever wondered if some people read about being unequally yoked, and they think it\u2019s all about omelets?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I just think there are folks who do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Other people think about other things, Bob, than food.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In the old days, the yoke was that piece of wood you\u2019d put across the shoulders of a pair of oxen.\u00a0 If one of them is going forward and the other one is not, you\u2019re just going to plow in circles; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it\u2019s going to chafe one or both in the yoke.\u00a0 We have three ladies with us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Dineen, Lynn, and Darla join us on the broadcast.\u00a0 Ladies, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having us.\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They all share the same common experience of being in spiritually- mismatched marriages.\u00a0 Dineen Miller and Lynn Donovan have written a book called <em>Winning Him Without Words<\/em>, and both have ministries to numerous women through women\u2019s groups.\u00a0 Both are writers.\u00a0 Dineen has been married for 25 years, Lynn for 20 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDarla has written a book called <em>In Christ Alone<\/em>.\u00a0 She and John have\u2014well, I want to read what you said.\u00a0 You said you and John have journeyed through three marriages in your 40 years together\u2014not three different marriages to different people, but three marriages together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s correct.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Explain what you mean by that statement.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, our very first part of our marriage pretty much was a marriage of just being attracted to each other physically.\u00a0 It was all about what the world today calls love and just living in the moment, looking for fun, and enjoying what the other can give, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How old were you when you and John met?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Twenty\u2014well, I was 19 when we met.\u00a0 We got married\u2014I was 20; he was 21.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 So, you were young, and life was exciting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was there anything going on spiritually in your life at the time?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 At that time, I can say that I knew that Jesus died for my sins and that I was going to be with Him in heaven one day; but I hadn\u2019t been taught anything.\u00a0 I had been saved at a Bible camp as an 11-year-old child and, then, lived in a home environment that was pretty chaotic\u2014alcoholic parents.\u00a0 There was no teaching that I encountered after that point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you weren\u2019t looking for a godly guy to marry.\u00a0 You were just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014looking for a cute guy to marry; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Prince Charming.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Did you have any kind of conversations about the spiritual\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 I actually\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014dimension of a marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014on our second date, I said, \u201cAre you a Christian?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 I took an invisible check mark and checked it off and said, \u201cOh, he\u2019s a Christian\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn\u2019t\u2014you weren\u2019t going to church together?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is one aspect of our relationship that is unique in the fact that I would go to church, and he would go with me.\u00a0 In fact, throughout the first part\u2014that first part of that marriage, we did.\u00a0 We just went to church together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, give us an overview of those three marriages you experienced with John.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the first marriage\u2014because I knew Jesus Christ and because I felt as though I was the spiritual leader of our home, I was pretty much John\u2019s Holy Spirit.\u00a0 I spent a lot of time telling him how, and when, and where, and why he did something that was ungodly.\u00a0 We did live a worldly lifestyle.\u00a0 I would say we blended.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I had this very self-righteous attitude of what I believed was right and wrong.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a Bible background, but I just had this self-righteous attitude to the point of\u2014toward the end of that period, looking for a way out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because his worldly lifestyle became more and mine became less.\u00a0 We had two daughters.\u00a0 I was starting to be more concerned about what we needed to do with our goals and our future.\u00a0 He was still with the fact of really enjoying himself in the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, how many years into your marriage before marriage number two started?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Marriage number two started at the seven-year point.\u00a0 We were about to move from our home in Southwestern New York state.\u00a0 I got my Bible out because I was so crushed by his worldly lifestyle that I thought, \u201cI need to know.\u00a0 Can I get out of this marriage?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI started to search, but I had to search first for the Bible because I never looked at my Bible.\u00a0 I found my Bible, and looked in it, and found the passage that said, \u201cIf the unbelieving one wants to go, go ahead and let them go.\u201d\u00a0 I approached my husband and said, \u201cWhat do you think about moving without me?\u00a0 If you would like to go and continue with what you are currently enjoying, just allow me to stay behind with the girls.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt took him a couple of days of thinking that over and said, \u201cNo, I think I want you to go with me.\u201d\u00a0 I took that to mean it was going to get better, but it didn\u2019t.\u00a0 The relationship continued to deteriorate; but we had moved into Houston, and I had gone to some welcome meeting.\u00a0 A girl across the room said, \u201cJesus\u201d\u2014I heard her say, \u201cJesus.\u201d\u00a0 I made my way over to her; and this girl, then, discipled me\u2014she\u2014specifically in the area of being married to someone who didn\u2019t live for God.\u00a0 Then, I found the 1 Peter 3 principle.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cWinning him without a word\u201d principle is what you are talking about?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, exactly; exactly!\u00a0 This is something that I thought I was at the end\u2014I was crushed.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know what else to do.\u00a0 So, I thought I would try this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, what marked the beginning of the third season of your marriage?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was pretty cool because we were, then, moving out of Houston.\u00a0 We moved to Houston three times.\u00a0 We were moving out of Houston to a small town, Shreveport, Louisiana; but because I was at the point of letting everything go and he had gone to church with me before, I said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you decide what you would like to do?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe visited a few churches.\u00a0 He said, \u201cI think we\u2019ll go to this small one,\u201d\u2014this small country church.\u00a0 Every week, this pastor would say, \u201cIf there\u2019s anyone here today that just wants to come forward just to pray, just to come on up here with me and pray at the end of service.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019d have our heads down, and I would feel movement beside me.\u00a0 I would realize he got up and went forward, and he would be up there crying.\u00a0 I would just be amazed that I didn\u2019t have anything to do with it and that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He did this more than once?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, he did.\u00a0 He did it several times.\u00a0 It really, truly was the 1 Peter 3 principle of, \u201cIt\u2019s your behavior.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not what you say, or manipulate, or in any other way try to force your husband\u2019s salvation to come.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you guys have been on the same page, spiritually, for how long now?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say 25 years, but I would also say that his coming out of the worldly lifestyle and into living for the Lord was a slow process.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the number one thing you learned in those three different seasons of your marriage?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 The number one thing was security in Jesus Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what your book is about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is truly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s finding comfort in Him personally, regardless\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014of what your spouse does or how\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014he or she responds.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you said he or she; because while we\u2019re talking to three wives who are married or have been married to unbelieving husbands, we\u2019ve got listeners who are godly men married to unbelieving wives.\u00a0 A lot of these principles we are going to talk about are the same, whether it\u2019s a man or a woman involved in the unequal yoking.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They are.\u00a0 I want to go to Lynn next.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been married 20 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You said you met your husband\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I met my husband when I was on a prodigal journey; and I grew up in church.\u00a0 I think I had more of a relationship with church than with Jesus Christ.\u00a0 In my early 20s, I fell away and went on this prodigal journey.\u00a0 I met my husband at a bar.\u00a0 We\u2014he was interesting\u2014so different than I was.\u00a0 We fell in love, and we got married.\u00a0 It was fine for the first three years because we lived like Darla said, \u201cThe ways of the world.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was about three years into our marriage when the Lord said to me, \u201cEnough!\u00a0 I want you back!\u201d\u00a0 My little Sunday school girl came out, and I ran home to the Father; but I was also dragging behind me my unbelieving husband.\u00a0 He was kicking and screaming all the way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, you\u2019ve got to unpack that just a little bit.\u00a0 God wooing you back\u2014how did that happen?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just\u2014I felt this calling.\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting\u2014when you\u2019re unequally yoked\u2014it\u2019s about that time, I started thinking about having a baby.\u00a0 That\u2019s very common for us, who are unequally yoked, women will start having children\u2014that\u2019s when our faith, that we were raised in, really becomes very important again.\u00a0 For me, that was very true.\u00a0 That was the time I stepped off into this unequally yoked journey.\u00a0\u00a0 I have to say, now looking back, my husband asked me the hard questions; and I didn\u2019t know the answers!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Questions like, \u201cHow do you know God exists?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cAnd I don\u2019t believe this.\u00a0 Why would you believe this?\u00a0 The Bible isn\u2019t real!\u00a0 How do you\u2014\u201d you know?\u201d\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know!\u00a0 How could I answer him?\u00a0 Boy, I tell you what\u2014my husband\u2019s unbelief pushed me to really <em>know<\/em> my faith, to know my Jesus.\u00a0 Stepping through this journey\u2014for me, it was also a very <em>long<\/em> journey of learning to surrender.\u00a0 I felt like I was walking it alone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s very common for people who are unequally yoked to feel lonely; but I learned to surrender many things, including my loneliness, and allowed Jesus to fill me up.\u00a0 That\u2019s when my vibrant relationship with Him just blossomed.\u00a0 I was able to really understand what 1 Peter 3 meant, and that all my nagging and begging him to go to church with me, and all that, was not helping the situation.\u00a0 In fact, I probably was a bigger stumbling block in his faith journey than a help\u2014in the early years, at least, for sure.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your husband is still in a different place than you are spiritually; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s correct, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But he knows you\u2019ve got a blog where you deal with this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn: <\/strong>\u00a0Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you\u2019ve co-written a book on this.\u00a0 He\u2019s fine with you telling your story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s amazing, and I credit that to the Lord working in our lives.\u00a0 When I first wanted to start the blog and write about this after I\u2019d come through this long journey, I wanted to help others on the path with me.\u00a0 I came home and I said, \u201cHoney, I think I\u2019m going to start this up.\u00a0 I\u2019d really like to write about us.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cSweetie, if you can help one other couple to not go through what we\u2019ve gone through, then, you go for it!\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s been my biggest cheerleader ever since; and with the book, he\u2019s been supportive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe came through some difficulty, and he <em>sees<\/em> how I was transformed by the love of Christ.\u00a0 He\u2019s dealing with it in his own time and his own way\u2014which for women, that\u2019s kind of frustrating because we really like to push them a little faster than they go; but I want him to experience Jesus on his own terms.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I started using this principle to win him with my actions and not with just what I said, that is where the profound power comes in because he can just see me\u2014I have a vibrant, fantastic relationship with Jesus Christ.\u00a0 It can\u2019t help but impact him.\u00a0 He sees things that happen in my life.\u00a0 Then, he\u2019s like it gets\u2014it builds a curiosity; but mostly, what he sees is I love him because I have the love of Jesus.\u00a0 I accept him for who he is.\u00a0 I will love him through thick and thin.\u00a0 That is the most powerful thing I brought, through Jesus Christ, into our marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to go to Dineen and hear your story quickly because you started out your marriage how?\u00a0 I mean how\u2019d you meet your husband?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 We actually were high school sweethearts.\u00a0 We met in high school, parted ways, just as friends, and then, kind of re-met.\u00a0 For me, I didn\u2019t grow up in a Christian home.\u00a0 I was put on a bus to go to Sunday school as a young child, which I will be forever grateful to my mother for doing because I think that is when I really met Jesus\u2014and through the childhood that I had\u2014was so grateful for that constant protection, but I kind of walked in and out of the faith.\u00a0 It was something I would pursue on my own for a while and then walk away.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we started dating, I knew God.\u00a0 I felt like I had a relationship; but I didn\u2019t understand what that relationship was, and he was seeking to some degree.\u00a0 We started dating, and we got married, and we started living the American dream.\u00a0 We had good jobs.\u00a0 We were pursuing our careers.\u00a0 We started our family.\u00a0 We started building our house\u2014our dream home\u2014and lived this wonderful life.\u00a0 It started to get really hard to get out of bed in the morning, and I couldn\u2019t understand why.\u00a0 I had everything.\u00a0 Why would I be so depressed?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA friend of mine invited me to go to a Bible study with her.\u00a0 It just opened my eyes to what I was missing and what it really meant to have a relationship with God.\u00a0 Those first few weeks and months, I carried my Bible around with me around the house constantly because it was like reading a <em>New York Times<\/em> bestseller.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t get enough\u2014just got involved in church, and started doing all these things, and pursuing my faith, and taking the kids, too.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, my husband came home with a Bible.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cOkay, here we go.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to open that book.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be hooked.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be on the journey with me, and we\u2019re going to be this couple in church.\u201d\u00a0 One night, an argument just sparked into the wee hours of the morning.\u00a0 He finally told me that he decided he was an atheist.\u00a0 It was the least expected reply\u2014answer\u2014explanation.\u00a0 It was so far from what I expected.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You and he are still in that same place on the journey with him saying, \u201cNo, it\u2019s not for me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right; right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But he\u2019s fine with you embracing your faith and talking about your relationship publically; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 He is.\u00a0 He\u2019s been very supportive.\u00a0 In the last\u2014I\u2019d say\u2014the last year of our marriage, a lot of things have changed in terms of we can now talk about my faith and it doesn\u2019t become this confrontation.\u00a0 I have to say that\u2019s probably more because God has changed me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve learned that I don\u2019t have to defend God.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to defend who Christ is.\u00a0 As Darla said, having that security in Christ, and knowing who we are, and knowing that we are that loved and we\u2019re that accepted, we don\u2019t have to say a lot.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, with marriage there\u2019s a degree of difficulty built in\u2014two sinful getting married.\u00a0 There are going to be challenges; but when I think about things that up the degree of difficulty in marriage\u2014being on different pages, spiritually, has got to be one of those things that raises the bar several inches higher than anything else.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\u00a0 There\u2019s a question I didn\u2019t ask Dineen and Lynn; and that is, \u201cWhat is your number one takeaway that you\u2019ve learned as a result of the experience that you\u2019ve been in?\u201d\u00a0 Dineen\u2014\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a good question.\u00a0 That it is all about God\u2019s love\u2014when you realize how much our God loves us, and that He allowed Himself to come, as a man, to suffer so much and to be put on the Cross, and just to understand what that love is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you look in the Bible and how Jesus loved people\u2014and that\u2019s what He did\u2014the first thing.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t judge them.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t ask them questions.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t condemn them.\u00a0 The first thing He did is He loved them.\u00a0 That\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned\u2014is that my job is just to love my husband.\u00a0 He is my husband.\u00a0 He is the leader of our family, and I\u2019m going to stand by him.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to affirm him.\u00a0 When I do that, I know I\u2019m serving God.\u00a0 I am loving the way Jesus is calling me to love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s great.\u00a0 Lynn, what about you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I\u2019m about the practical.\u00a0 For me, it was expectations.\u00a0 I think every young girl wants to marry Prince Charming and live happily ever after.\u00a0 Bob, like you said, marriage\u2014real marriage\u2014there is challenges; but when you\u2019re spiritually-mismatched, there\u2019s many, many more on top of the regulars.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I had expectations of my husband that were so lofty that no man could ever meet them.\u00a0 I\u2019m convinced most women are that way when they go into marriage.\u00a0 They have these enormous expectations \u201cto fill me,\u201d \u201cfill my needs\u201d\u2014\u201cDo this for me.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s just not God\u2019s design.\u00a0 The biggest thing, for me, was to take those expectations off of my husband, who is a fallible, normal, human man; but I could put <em>all<\/em> my expectations into the Lord Jesus Christ.\u00a0 That brought such <em>freedom<\/em> to our marriage!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband\u2014I finally freed the poor guy from these silly expectations that I had for him.\u00a0 When I finally did that, I released him from these expectations and put my eyes fully on Jesus Christ.\u00a0 That is when we entered thriving\u2014it\u2019s what I call it.\u00a0 Even though he doesn\u2019t know Jesus, I do!\u00a0 That makes every bit of the difference in our marriage because I\u2019m praying Christ into our marriage.\u00a0 I\u2019m showing him the love, and it\u2019s not just about me; but it\u2019s allowing Jesus to be a part of our home and to give my husband his own freedom to discover faith on his own terms\u2014and Wow!\u00a0 I\u2019m the one that truly experienced freedom in <em>every way<\/em> when I let go of those expectations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know we\u2019re talking about spiritually-mismatched marriages; but what you just said\u2014and really what all three of you have said here today\u2014is that if you\u2019re married, you\u2019re an imperfect person and your spouse is.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got two imperfect people who are both in need of love, forgiveness, grace\u2014and yes, that\u2019s found in Jesus Christ\u2014some, it takes a little longer to find that than others; but the message is clear.\u00a0 That\u2019s how you build a home\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that ultimately goes the distance and honors God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s true that these principles are true for a marriage where two people are spiritually on the same page.\u00a0 You still have to love one another well.\u00a0 You still have to deal with expectations.\u00a0 You still have to find your security in Christ; but I think you guys have captured that in the books that you\u2019ve written.\u00a0 Darla\u2019s written a book called <em>In Christ Alone: When Your Husband Does Not Walk with Him<\/em>.\u00a0 Lynn and Dineen, together, have written a book called <em>Winning Him Without Words<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I\u2019ve already said, our focus this week is on wives who are married to unbelieving husbands.\u00a0 I know we have listeners who are tuned in\u2014men who are married to women who don\u2019t love Christ.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 We\u2019ll loop back around, and we\u2019ll address that subject at a later date because that\u2019s a very real issue.\u00a0 I know the guys who are listening go, \u201cWhat about us?\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ll get to that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I want to encourage wives who are married to men who don\u2019t have a relationship with Christ, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and order copies of either or both of these books: <em>In Christ Alone<\/em> by Darla Stone; <em>Winning Him Without Words<\/em> by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.\u00a0 The website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can order the books from us online; or you can call to order at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d\u20141-800-358-6329.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we are in the final weeks of 2012.\u00a0 I need to take just a minute and talk to those of you who are friends of the ministry\u2014those of you who are regular listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We want to ask you to consider making a special yearend donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have had an exciting year.\u00a0 There is a lot going on here\u2014more people than ever who are responding to all that is happening at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 In fact, we got a note just recently from a listener who wrote to say:\u00a0 \u201cI stumbled on your radio program four years ago.\u00a0 I was struggling in my life and in my marriage.\u00a0 Our family was a mess.\u00a0 Your program inspired me to give my life to Christ.\u00a0 Since then, God has been doing some amazing things.\u00a0 I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for us with the message of God\u2019s love.\u201d\u00a0 I want you to know, as one who is a listener and a supporter of this ministry, you\u2019re a part of making that happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe dilemma we\u2019re facing right now is this\u2014we\u2019ve seen a dramatic drop in donations from radio listeners this year.\u00a0 As a result, over the last several months, we\u2019ve had to make some tough choices to slow some things down\u2014even stop some of what we are doing.\u00a0 We\u2019re asking God, here at the end of the year, to provide the funding we need to be able to restart some of these projects and get things going again in the New Year.\u00a0 The good news is we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have stepped forward.\u00a0 They have agreed that they will match every donation we receive, during December, on a dollar-for-dollar basis\u2014up to a total of what is right now $3 million.\u00a0 We\u2019re still hearing from folks\u2014that number may actually increase over the next couple of weeks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, would you take a minute today?\u00a0 Talk together with your spouse.\u00a0 Pray together about making a yearend contribution to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Keep in mind, when you make that donation in December, your donation will be doubled, thanks to the matching- gift that is in place.\u00a0 You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can donate by calling 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 We just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for whatever you are able to do.\u00a0 Every gift is important; and we hope you will prayerfully consider being as generous as you can be, here, at the end of 2012.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to continue our conversation on wives who are spiritually-mismatched in their marriages.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\u00a0 <strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.75M"],"filesize_raw":["28051749"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302642.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302642.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 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you wish you and your husband were on the same page spiritually?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-12-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dineen Miller remembers, being a fairly new Christian, hoping, wishing, and praying that her husband would join her on the journey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 One day my husband came home with a Bible.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cOkay, here we go.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to open that book.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be hooked.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be on the journey with me, and we\u2019re going to be this couple in church.\u201d\u00a0 But an argument just sparked into the wee hours of the morning, and he finally told me that he decided he was an atheist.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, December 3<sup>rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 How do you pursue oneness in a marriage relationship when you and your spouse are in completely different places when it comes to the thing that is most important to you in your life?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about that today.\u00a0 Stay with us.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, most of us live in a place or in a time where we really don\u2019t have a lot to do with yokes unless we\u2019re cooking eggs; right?\u00a0 I mean, you hear about yoking\u2014you think of eggs, not oxen.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You and I have been doing radio for 20 years.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I\u2019m always astounded where you come up with the transition into what we\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about spiritually-mismatched marriages, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you ever wondered\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you begin with an egg yolk.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you ever wondered if some people read about being unequally yoked, and they think it\u2019s all about omelets?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I just think there are folks who do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Other people think about other things, Bob, than food.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In the old days, the yoke was that piece of wood you\u2019d put across the shoulders of a pair of oxen.\u00a0 If one of them is going forward and the other one is not, you\u2019re just going to plow in circles; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it\u2019s going to chafe one or both in the yoke.\u00a0 We have three ladies with us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Dineen, Lynn, and Darla join us on the broadcast.\u00a0 Ladies, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having us.\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They all share the same common experience of being in spiritually- mismatched marriages.\u00a0 Dineen Miller and Lynn Donovan have written a book called <em>Winning Him Without Words<\/em>, and both have ministries to numerous women through women\u2019s groups.\u00a0 Both are writers.\u00a0 Dineen has been married for 25 years, Lynn for 20 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDarla has written a book called <em>In Christ Alone<\/em>.\u00a0 She and John have\u2014well, I want to read what you said.\u00a0 You said you and John have journeyed through three marriages in your 40 years together\u2014not three different marriages to different people, but three marriages together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s correct.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Explain what you mean by that statement.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, our very first part of our marriage pretty much was a marriage of just being attracted to each other physically.\u00a0 It was all about what the world today calls love and just living in the moment, looking for fun, and enjoying what the other can give, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How old were you when you and John met?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Twenty\u2014well, I was 19 when we met.\u00a0 We got married\u2014I was 20; he was 21.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 So, you were young, and life was exciting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was there anything going on spiritually in your life at the time?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 At that time, I can say that I knew that Jesus died for my sins and that I was going to be with Him in heaven one day; but I hadn\u2019t been taught anything.\u00a0 I had been saved at a Bible camp as an 11-year-old child and, then, lived in a home environment that was pretty chaotic\u2014alcoholic parents.\u00a0 There was no teaching that I encountered after that point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you weren\u2019t looking for a godly guy to marry.\u00a0 You were just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014looking for a cute guy to marry; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Prince Charming.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Did you have any kind of conversations about the spiritual\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 I actually\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014dimension of a marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014on our second date, I said, \u201cAre you a Christian?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 I took an invisible check mark and checked it off and said, \u201cOh, he\u2019s a Christian\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn\u2019t\u2014you weren\u2019t going to church together?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is one aspect of our relationship that is unique in the fact that I would go to church, and he would go with me.\u00a0 In fact, throughout the first part\u2014that first part of that marriage, we did.\u00a0 We just went to church together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, give us an overview of those three marriages you experienced with John.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the first marriage\u2014because I knew Jesus Christ and because I felt as though I was the spiritual leader of our home, I was pretty much John\u2019s Holy Spirit.\u00a0 I spent a lot of time telling him how, and when, and where, and why he did something that was ungodly.\u00a0 We did live a worldly lifestyle.\u00a0 I would say we blended.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I had this very self-righteous attitude of what I believed was right and wrong.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a Bible background, but I just had this self-righteous attitude to the point of\u2014toward the end of that period, looking for a way out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because his worldly lifestyle became more and mine became less.\u00a0 We had two daughters.\u00a0 I was starting to be more concerned about what we needed to do with our goals and our future.\u00a0 He was still with the fact of really enjoying himself in the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, how many years into your marriage before marriage number two started?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Marriage number two started at the seven-year point.\u00a0 We were about to move from our home in Southwestern New York state.\u00a0 I got my Bible out because I was so crushed by his worldly lifestyle that I thought, \u201cI need to know.\u00a0 Can I get out of this marriage?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI started to search, but I had to search first for the Bible because I never looked at my Bible.\u00a0 I found my Bible, and looked in it, and found the passage that said, \u201cIf the unbelieving one wants to go, go ahead and let them go.\u201d\u00a0 I approached my husband and said, \u201cWhat do you think about moving without me?\u00a0 If you would like to go and continue with what you are currently enjoying, just allow me to stay behind with the girls.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt took him a couple of days of thinking that over and said, \u201cNo, I think I want you to go with me.\u201d\u00a0 I took that to mean it was going to get better, but it didn\u2019t.\u00a0 The relationship continued to deteriorate; but we had moved into Houston, and I had gone to some welcome meeting.\u00a0 A girl across the room said, \u201cJesus\u201d\u2014I heard her say, \u201cJesus.\u201d\u00a0 I made my way over to her; and this girl, then, discipled me\u2014she\u2014specifically in the area of being married to someone who didn\u2019t live for God.\u00a0 Then, I found the 1 Peter 3 principle.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cWinning him without a word\u201d principle is what you are talking about?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, exactly; exactly!\u00a0 This is something that I thought I was at the end\u2014I was crushed.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know what else to do.\u00a0 So, I thought I would try this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, what marked the beginning of the third season of your marriage?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was pretty cool because we were, then, moving out of Houston.\u00a0 We moved to Houston three times.\u00a0 We were moving out of Houston to a small town, Shreveport, Louisiana; but because I was at the point of letting everything go and he had gone to church with me before, I said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you decide what you would like to do?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe visited a few churches.\u00a0 He said, \u201cI think we\u2019ll go to this small one,\u201d\u2014this small country church.\u00a0 Every week, this pastor would say, \u201cIf there\u2019s anyone here today that just wants to come forward just to pray, just to come on up here with me and pray at the end of service.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019d have our heads down, and I would feel movement beside me.\u00a0 I would realize he got up and went forward, and he would be up there crying.\u00a0 I would just be amazed that I didn\u2019t have anything to do with it and that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He did this more than once?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, he did.\u00a0 He did it several times.\u00a0 It really, truly was the 1 Peter 3 principle of, \u201cIt\u2019s your behavior.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not what you say, or manipulate, or in any other way try to force your husband\u2019s salvation to come.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you guys have been on the same page, spiritually, for how long now?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say 25 years, but I would also say that his coming out of the worldly lifestyle and into living for the Lord was a slow process.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the number one thing you learned in those three different seasons of your marriage?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 The number one thing was security in Jesus Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what your book is about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is truly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s finding comfort in Him personally, regardless\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014of what your spouse does or how\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014he or she responds.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darla:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you said he or she; because while we\u2019re talking to three wives who are married or have been married to unbelieving husbands, we\u2019ve got listeners who are godly men married to unbelieving wives.\u00a0 A lot of these principles we are going to talk about are the same, whether it\u2019s a man or a woman involved in the unequal yoking.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They are.\u00a0 I want to go to Lynn next.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been married 20 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You said you met your husband\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I met my husband when I was on a prodigal journey; and I grew up in church.\u00a0 I think I had more of a relationship with church than with Jesus Christ.\u00a0 In my early 20s, I fell away and went on this prodigal journey.\u00a0 I met my husband at a bar.\u00a0 We\u2014he was interesting\u2014so different than I was.\u00a0 We fell in love, and we got married.\u00a0 It was fine for the first three years because we lived like Darla said, \u201cThe ways of the world.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was about three years into our marriage when the Lord said to me, \u201cEnough!\u00a0 I want you back!\u201d\u00a0 My little Sunday school girl came out, and I ran home to the Father; but I was also dragging behind me my unbelieving husband.\u00a0 He was kicking and screaming all the way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, you\u2019ve got to unpack that just a little bit.\u00a0 God wooing you back\u2014how did that happen?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just\u2014I felt this calling.\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting\u2014when you\u2019re unequally yoked\u2014it\u2019s about that time, I started thinking about having a baby.\u00a0 That\u2019s very common for us, who are unequally yoked, women will start having children\u2014that\u2019s when our faith, that we were raised in, really becomes very important again.\u00a0 For me, that was very true.\u00a0 That was the time I stepped off into this unequally yoked journey.\u00a0\u00a0 I have to say, now looking back, my husband asked me the hard questions; and I didn\u2019t know the answers!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Questions like, \u201cHow do you know God exists?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cAnd I don\u2019t believe this.\u00a0 Why would you believe this?\u00a0 The Bible isn\u2019t real!\u00a0 How do you\u2014\u201d you know?\u201d\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know!\u00a0 How could I answer him?\u00a0 Boy, I tell you what\u2014my husband\u2019s unbelief pushed me to really <em>know<\/em> my faith, to know my Jesus.\u00a0 Stepping through this journey\u2014for me, it was also a very <em>long<\/em> journey of learning to surrender.\u00a0 I felt like I was walking it alone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s very common for people who are unequally yoked to feel lonely; but I learned to surrender many things, including my loneliness, and allowed Jesus to fill me up.\u00a0 That\u2019s when my vibrant relationship with Him just blossomed.\u00a0 I was able to really understand what 1 Peter 3 meant, and that all my nagging and begging him to go to church with me, and all that, was not helping the situation.\u00a0 In fact, I probably was a bigger stumbling block in his faith journey than a help\u2014in the early years, at least, for sure.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your husband is still in a different place than you are spiritually; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s correct, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But he knows you\u2019ve got a blog where you deal with this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn: <\/strong>\u00a0Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you\u2019ve co-written a book on this.\u00a0 He\u2019s fine with you telling your story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s amazing, and I credit that to the Lord working in our lives.\u00a0 When I first wanted to start the blog and write about this after I\u2019d come through this long journey, I wanted to help others on the path with me.\u00a0 I came home and I said, \u201cHoney, I think I\u2019m going to start this up.\u00a0 I\u2019d really like to write about us.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cSweetie, if you can help one other couple to not go through what we\u2019ve gone through, then, you go for it!\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s been my biggest cheerleader ever since; and with the book, he\u2019s been supportive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe came through some difficulty, and he <em>sees<\/em> how I was transformed by the love of Christ.\u00a0 He\u2019s dealing with it in his own time and his own way\u2014which for women, that\u2019s kind of frustrating because we really like to push them a little faster than they go; but I want him to experience Jesus on his own terms.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I started using this principle to win him with my actions and not with just what I said, that is where the profound power comes in because he can just see me\u2014I have a vibrant, fantastic relationship with Jesus Christ.\u00a0 It can\u2019t help but impact him.\u00a0 He sees things that happen in my life.\u00a0 Then, he\u2019s like it gets\u2014it builds a curiosity; but mostly, what he sees is I love him because I have the love of Jesus.\u00a0 I accept him for who he is.\u00a0 I will love him through thick and thin.\u00a0 That is the most powerful thing I brought, through Jesus Christ, into our marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to go to Dineen and hear your story quickly because you started out your marriage how?\u00a0 I mean how\u2019d you meet your husband?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 We actually were high school sweethearts.\u00a0 We met in high school, parted ways, just as friends, and then, kind of re-met.\u00a0 For me, I didn\u2019t grow up in a Christian home.\u00a0 I was put on a bus to go to Sunday school as a young child, which I will be forever grateful to my mother for doing because I think that is when I really met Jesus\u2014and through the childhood that I had\u2014was so grateful for that constant protection, but I kind of walked in and out of the faith.\u00a0 It was something I would pursue on my own for a while and then walk away.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we started dating, I knew God.\u00a0 I felt like I had a relationship; but I didn\u2019t understand what that relationship was, and he was seeking to some degree.\u00a0 We started dating, and we got married, and we started living the American dream.\u00a0 We had good jobs.\u00a0 We were pursuing our careers.\u00a0 We started our family.\u00a0 We started building our house\u2014our dream home\u2014and lived this wonderful life.\u00a0 It started to get really hard to get out of bed in the morning, and I couldn\u2019t understand why.\u00a0 I had everything.\u00a0 Why would I be so depressed?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA friend of mine invited me to go to a Bible study with her.\u00a0 It just opened my eyes to what I was missing and what it really meant to have a relationship with God.\u00a0 Those first few weeks and months, I carried my Bible around with me around the house constantly because it was like reading a <em>New York Times<\/em> bestseller.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t get enough\u2014just got involved in church, and started doing all these things, and pursuing my faith, and taking the kids, too.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, my husband came home with a Bible.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cOkay, here we go.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to open that book.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be hooked.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be on the journey with me, and we\u2019re going to be this couple in church.\u201d\u00a0 One night, an argument just sparked into the wee hours of the morning.\u00a0 He finally told me that he decided he was an atheist.\u00a0 It was the least expected reply\u2014answer\u2014explanation.\u00a0 It was so far from what I expected.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You and he are still in that same place on the journey with him saying, \u201cNo, it\u2019s not for me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right; right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But he\u2019s fine with you embracing your faith and talking about your relationship publically; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 He is.\u00a0 He\u2019s been very supportive.\u00a0 In the last\u2014I\u2019d say\u2014the last year of our marriage, a lot of things have changed in terms of we can now talk about my faith and it doesn\u2019t become this confrontation.\u00a0 I have to say that\u2019s probably more because God has changed me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve learned that I don\u2019t have to defend God.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to defend who Christ is.\u00a0 As Darla said, having that security in Christ, and knowing who we are, and knowing that we are that loved and we\u2019re that accepted, we don\u2019t have to say a lot.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, with marriage there\u2019s a degree of difficulty built in\u2014two sinful getting married.\u00a0 There are going to be challenges; but when I think about things that up the degree of difficulty in marriage\u2014being on different pages, spiritually, has got to be one of those things that raises the bar several inches higher than anything else.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\u00a0 There\u2019s a question I didn\u2019t ask Dineen and Lynn; and that is, \u201cWhat is your number one takeaway that you\u2019ve learned as a result of the experience that you\u2019ve been in?\u201d\u00a0 Dineen\u2014\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dineen:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a good question.\u00a0 That it is all about God\u2019s love\u2014when you realize how much our God loves us, and that He allowed Himself to come, as a man, to suffer so much and to be put on the Cross, and just to understand what that love is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you look in the Bible and how Jesus loved people\u2014and that\u2019s what He did\u2014the first thing.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t judge them.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t ask them questions.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t condemn them.\u00a0 The first thing He did is He loved them.\u00a0 That\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned\u2014is that my job is just to love my husband.\u00a0 He is my husband.\u00a0 He is the leader of our family, and I\u2019m going to stand by him.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to affirm him.\u00a0 When I do that, I know I\u2019m serving God.\u00a0 I am loving the way Jesus is calling me to love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s great.\u00a0 Lynn, what about you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I\u2019m about the practical.\u00a0 For me, it was expectations.\u00a0 I think every young girl wants to marry Prince Charming and live happily ever after.\u00a0 Bob, like you said, marriage\u2014real marriage\u2014there is challenges; but when you\u2019re spiritually-mismatched, there\u2019s many, many more on top of the regulars.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I had expectations of my husband that were so lofty that no man could ever meet them.\u00a0 I\u2019m convinced most women are that way when they go into marriage.\u00a0 They have these enormous expectations \u201cto fill me,\u201d \u201cfill my needs\u201d\u2014\u201cDo this for me.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s just not God\u2019s design.\u00a0 The biggest thing, for me, was to take those expectations off of my husband, who is a fallible, normal, human man; but I could put <em>all<\/em> my expectations into the Lord Jesus Christ.\u00a0 That brought such <em>freedom<\/em> to our marriage!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband\u2014I finally freed the poor guy from these silly expectations that I had for him.\u00a0 When I finally did that, I released him from these expectations and put my eyes fully on Jesus Christ.\u00a0 That is when we entered thriving\u2014it\u2019s what I call it.\u00a0 Even though he doesn\u2019t know Jesus, I do!\u00a0 That makes every bit of the difference in our marriage because I\u2019m praying Christ into our marriage.\u00a0 I\u2019m showing him the love, and it\u2019s not just about me; but it\u2019s allowing Jesus to be a part of our home and to give my husband his own freedom to discover faith on his own terms\u2014and Wow!\u00a0 I\u2019m the one that truly experienced freedom in <em>every way<\/em> when I let go of those expectations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know we\u2019re talking about spiritually-mismatched marriages; but what you just said\u2014and really what all three of you have said here today\u2014is that if you\u2019re married, you\u2019re an imperfect person and your spouse is.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got two imperfect people who are both in need of love, forgiveness, grace\u2014and yes, that\u2019s found in Jesus Christ\u2014some, it takes a little longer to find that than others; but the message is clear.\u00a0 That\u2019s how you build a home\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lynn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that ultimately goes the distance and honors God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s true that these principles are true for a marriage where two people are spiritually on the same page.\u00a0 You still have to love one another well.\u00a0 You still have to deal with expectations.\u00a0 You still have to find your security in Christ; but I think you guys have captured that in the books that you\u2019ve written.\u00a0 Darla\u2019s written a book called <em>In Christ Alone: When Your Husband Does Not Walk with Him<\/em>.\u00a0 Lynn and Dineen, together, have written a book called <em>Winning Him Without Words<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I\u2019ve already said, our focus this week is on wives who are married to unbelieving husbands.\u00a0 I know we have listeners who are tuned in\u2014men who are married to women who don\u2019t love Christ.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 We\u2019ll loop back around, and we\u2019ll address that subject at a later date because that\u2019s a very real issue.\u00a0 I know the guys who are listening go, \u201cWhat about us?\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ll get to that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I want to encourage wives who are married to men who don\u2019t have a relationship with Christ, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and order copies of either or both of these books: <em>In Christ Alone<\/em> by Darla Stone; <em>Winning Him Without Words<\/em> by Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller.\u00a0 The website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can order the books from us online; or you can call to order at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d\u20141-800-358-6329.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we are in the final weeks of 2012.\u00a0 I need to take just a minute and talk to those of you who are friends of the ministry\u2014those of you who are regular listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We want to ask you to consider making a special yearend donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have had an exciting year.\u00a0 There is a lot going on here\u2014more people than ever who are responding to all that is happening at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 In fact, we got a note just recently from a listener who wrote to say:\u00a0 \u201cI stumbled on your radio program four years ago.\u00a0 I was struggling in my life and in my marriage.\u00a0 Our family was a mess.\u00a0 Your program inspired me to give my life to Christ.\u00a0 Since then, God has been doing some amazing things.\u00a0 I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for us with the message of God\u2019s love.\u201d\u00a0 I want you to know, as one who is a listener and a supporter of this ministry, you\u2019re a part of making that happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe dilemma we\u2019re facing right now is this\u2014we\u2019ve seen a dramatic drop in donations from radio listeners this year.\u00a0 As a result, over the last several months, we\u2019ve had to make some tough choices to slow some things down\u2014even stop some of what we are doing.\u00a0 We\u2019re asking God, here at the end of the year, to provide the funding we need to be able to restart some of these projects and get things going again in the New Year.\u00a0 The good news is we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have stepped forward.\u00a0 They have agreed that they will match every donation we receive, during December, on a dollar-for-dollar basis\u2014up to a total of what is right now $3 million.\u00a0 We\u2019re still hearing from folks\u2014that number may actually increase over the next couple of weeks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, would you take a minute today?\u00a0 Talk together with your spouse.\u00a0 Pray together about making a yearend contribution to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Keep in mind, when you make that donation in December, your donation will be doubled, thanks to the matching- gift that is in place.\u00a0 You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can donate by calling 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 We just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for whatever you are able to do.\u00a0 Every gift is important; and we hope you will prayerfully consider being as generous as you can be, here, at the end of 2012.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to continue our conversation on wives who are spiritually-mismatched in their marriages.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\u00a0 <strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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