{"id":302641,"date":"2012-11-28T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-11-28T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/as-mom-q-a-with-barbara-rainey\/"},"modified":"2012-11-28T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-11-28T17:00:00","slug":"as-mom-q-a-with-barbara-rainey","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/as-mom-q-a-with-barbara-rainey\/","title":{"rendered":"As Mom: Q &#038; A with Barbara Rainey"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Barbara Rainey, answers your most perplexing questions about parenting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-28.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.4M","filesize_raw":"23487299","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838,2881],"tags":[5223],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3052],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302641","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","category-young-children","tag-family-living","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302641\/as-mom-q-a-with-barbara-rainey","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302641\/as-mom-q-a-with-barbara-rainey","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"5aXMmEyv2b\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/as-mom-q-a-with-barbara-rainey\/\">As Mom: Q &#038; A with Barbara Rainey<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/as-mom-q-a-with-barbara-rainey\/embed\/#?secret=5aXMmEyv2b\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;As Mom: Q &#038; A with Barbara Rainey&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"5aXMmEyv2b\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-28.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-28.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How can a wife communicate with her husband about needs that she sees for their family without nagging him or trying to control him or usurping his leadership?\u00a0 That's one of the questions that was recently put to Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 Here is how she responded.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think you have every responsibility to communicate what you would like to see but do it in a way that\u2014\u201cHow can we work this out in our family?\u00a0 What would you like for me to do?\u00a0 How can I help?\u201d\u00a0 without you taking over.\u00a0 Because communicating is so much of everything in a marriage\u2014it\u2019s understanding where you're coming from, so that he knows your needs and understands what your desire is and what your heart is, but in a way that's nurturing to him so that he can be the leader.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 28<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear today how Barbara Rainey responded to some questions that were put to her recently by a group of young wives and moms.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Bob, you know what?\u00a0 I've been reading some of the mail from our listeners\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and they want you and me out of here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What do you mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They want us off the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, but this is what we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014as in, \u201cTake the pink slip and leave, Cleve.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This is what I do.\u00a0 This is my job.\u00a0 Are you telling me I\u2019m fired?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, we\u2019re both fired.\u00a0 Our listeners want to hear from Barbara, my wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, they have written, they appreciate the fact that we\u2019re now empty-nesters, and that we\u2019re including her in on an increasing number of broadcasts here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 So, frankly, some of them have been so bold to say, \u201cHave you guys thought about a second job?\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I haven\u2019t\u2014but you know she is good, I have to admit.\u00a0 So, today, Bob and I are out of here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It's all up to Barbara today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We're just going to pass the microphone to her.\u00a0 She's actually not here in the studio.\u00a0 Actually, what we want to share with you is a question-and-answer session that she had with a group of young moms in Nashville, Tennessee, at Fellowship Bible Church in Franklin.\u00a0 They invited Barbara to come over and spend some time with the young moms over there; and, fortunately, someone pushed the record button on a tape recorder.\u00a0 So, you and I are out of here, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She was doing her Titus 2 best that day.\u00a0 So, we\u2019ll turn it over to her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm leaving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We'll turn it over to her.\u00a0 Here's Barbara with some young moms:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Tell me when it's over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Okay.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously recorded audio begins]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our first question is with being a mom\u2014and I know you have invested so much in your family and family time.\u00a0 One of the moms asked, \u201cHow can we teach biblical principles throughout the day to preschoolers?\u00a0 And what does spiritual training really look like?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think spiritual training is really parenting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was thinking about some of the things that we teach our children throughout the day and the spiritual principles that we're teaching.\u00a0 For instance, we teach our children to obey.\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s Ephesians 6:1 where it says, \u201cChildren, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.\u201d\u00a0 So, when you\u2019re teaching your child to obey you and to do what you say, to come when you call\u2014all of those things\u2014you\u2019re teaching a biblical principle; and I think sometimes we forget that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother one is the whole idea of giving thanks.\u00a0 When we pray over our meals, we\u2019re teaching our children to be thankful.\u00a0 When we teach them to say \u201cplease\u201d and \u201cthank you\u201d\u2014which was always a big deal for me with my kids\u2014we\u2019re teaching them to be thankful and to have the right attitude; and that\u2019s a Christian attitude, that\u2019s a biblical perspective.\u00a0 I think sometimes we just think it\u2019s a kindness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, where does kindness come from?\u00a0 It comes from God.\u00a0 We wouldn\u2019t be kind if we didn\u2019t know God, and I think we forget that; that we are teaching biblical principles on a daily basis in some of the small things that we do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother one I mentioned, too, is the whole issue of forgiveness.\u00a0 Ephesians 4 tells us to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving.\u00a0 Well, children aren\u2019t naturally kind; they\u2019re not naturally tenderhearted.\u00a0 They are tender\u2014and I don\u2019t want you to think that I\u2019m saying they're not, but they have both.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to train that tender side and reward the tender side and teach them when they\u2019re not tenderhearted and when they\u2019re mean and when they take toys and when they hit and bite and those kinds of things.\u00a0 We have to teach, we have to discipline, and we have to teach the forgiveness side.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, in all of these little daily things\u2014and there are so many daily things about parenting\u2014but in the process of doing those things, you\u2019re teaching your children to be kind and to be tenderhearted to their siblings and to forgive.\u00a0 That\u2019s the basis for what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 Sometimes, we don\u2019t quote the verse to our child when we\u2019re doing it; and we might not be thinking\u2014we\u2019re just thinking, \u201cThis is right\u201d and \u201cThis is not right.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think with toddlers and preschoolers you can be doing a lot of biblical training, but you\u2019re not necessarily memorizing Bible verses.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong>\u00a0 This next one, I think, is something that most of us struggle with.\u00a0 How do we balance making time to play with our kids with all the other things that need to be done?\u00a0 Anybody who can relate to that?\u2014cleaning, laundry, all the things to catch up on?\u00a0 What\u2019s the answer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 There isn\u2019t an answer.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is how I think about balance\u2014and I think about it in all areas of my life\u2014I think about a pendulum.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why I think about a pendulum; but, you know, something that's hanging, and I think about it swinging.\u00a0 How often is it really in dead center?\u00a0 It\u2019s usually here, and I\u2019m out of balance, and I go, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m out of balance here.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to go this way.\u201d\u00a0 So, I go this way.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, I\u2019m out of balance this way.\u00a0 I need to go this way.\u201d\u00a0 So, I go back this way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBalance is something that is perfect, dead center.\u00a0 Well, are we going to ever be perfect?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 So, you kind of need to let yourself off the hook on that.\u00a0 You need to realize that it\u2019s the balance of your overall life.\u00a0 It's the sum total of what you\u2019ve done with your children.\u00a0 It\u2019s not necessarily this minute or \u201cAm I balanced this minute\u201d because you\u2019re probably not going to be.\u00a0 Am I balanced today?\u00a0 Maybe not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, your house may be a mess all day for a week; and by the end of the week, you decide, \u201cI can\u2019t stand it anymore.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to clean it.\u201d\u00a0 You clean all day long and that kind of thing.\u00a0 You can\u2019t maintain a balance of everything every day.\u00a0 It\u2019s impossible.\u00a0 So, I want to say that in the beginning, to let yourself off the hook, because you can\u2019t.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay that you can\u2019t, I think.\u00a0 I really do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the other thing that I would say is that in finding that balance, there are two things you need to decide.\u00a0 One: you kind of need to know yourself.\u00a0 Are you a task person, or are you a relational person?\u00a0 I think we all tend to sort of be one or the other.\u00a0 I tend to be more task-driven than I am relationship-driven.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I always had\u2014that was my struggle in balance is that I was so frustrated because I couldn\u2019t get my tasks done; because I kept having to stop what I was doing to spank somebody or to clean up the spilled milk or to get the laundry in the thing or somebody had a dirty diaper.\u00a0 I just couldn\u2019t stay focused, and that was a real frustration for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, there are people who are more relational-oriented.\u00a0 They won\u2019t get any of the tasks done because they\u2019re having so much fun playing.\u00a0 So I think you need to sort of know yourself and know which direction you need to lean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What battles are worth fighting?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Which are not?\u00a0 Like, you know, we face battles every day: whether they want to put their coat on, what food they\u2019re going to eat, are they going to eat any vegetables, any fruit?\u00a0 You know sibling rivalry. I mean, what is it that really we need to say, \u201cThis is a battle worth fighting?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I wasn\u2019t really sure on that question exactly what direction you were headed.\u00a0 So, my\u2014this is a super-spiritual answer, so you can kind of take it for what it's worth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing I thought of is really the things we need to fight for are the things that God values.\u00a0 I know that\u2019s not getting into particulars\u2014and we can go there\u2014but I was thinking about one of the two things that are going to last for eternity: God\u2019s Word and people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, I think I got caught up in the real picky things, like eating vegetables and some of that kind of stuff, when it really didn't matter; and I would forget that it was the relationship with my child that really mattered.\u00a0 That was more important than whether or not he did exactly or she did exactly what I thought they should do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour children obeying, that\u2019s worth fighting for.\u00a0 Respecting their dad and respecting you, that\u2019s worth fighting for\u2014being kind.\u00a0 So, those biblical values, those things are worth fighting for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One of the moms asked, \u201cWhat is the best way to transition from being a mommy to the wife that my husband needs and that I would love to be?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think this is probably one of the most important questions that we\u2019re going to talk about today because there were some things that I tried to do.\u00a0 The first thing that I think is essential:\u00a0 You have to decide, is your husband going to be number one, or are your kids going to be number one?\u00a0 That's the starting point.\u00a0 If your husband is really going to be the priority\u2014and he really should be the priority over your children\u2014you\u2019ve got to first make that decision and then go from there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, secondly, what am I going to do about it?\u00a0 Okay, he\u2019s number one.\u00a0 How am I going to live that out in my family?\u00a0 How is he going to know that he\u2019s more important than the children?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause if you figure it out\u2014even if you\u2019re working part-time or full-time\u2014your child still is going to get probably more actual time if you measured\u2014counted minutes and hours just because of the demands that it takes to bathe them and feed them and take them to the doctor, and all of the things.\u00a0 They\u2019re still going to\u2014the hours are going to add up that your child is going to win.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what can you do to communicate to your husband that he is still number one in your life?\u00a0 That\u2019s what you've got to figure out.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that I did is I tried, even when my kids were older\u2014I tried to save energy somehow.\u00a0 A lot of times it meant taking naps in the afternoons instead of getting my things done\u2014and I'm a task person.\u00a0 It might mean for me\u2014and it did, many times\u2014that I let my projects go; and during the afternoon when I might get something done that I wanted to get done, I took a nap or just rested\u2014maybe not sleep but rested and did something so that I could save energy for my husband.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that was a hard decision, because it was denying myself those precious hours that I had that I could spend some time doing what I wanted to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother thing is we made getting away together a priority: going out in the evenings or getting away for weekends.\u00a0 I would highly recommend that you get away for a couple of weekends a year, if you can\u2014even if you swap kids with another couple, so that you can get time away for a weekend.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was always easier for me to focus on my husband when my kids weren\u2019t around, because they just want Mom.\u00a0 So, it was easier for me to focus on my husband when I was away from my children, because then I wasn\u2019t so aware of their needs and so drawn to them.\u00a0 It was easier for me to give my husband my attention and the affection and stuff.\u00a0 So that was another practical thing that we did to try to keep that relationship healthy and alive and growing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We would love to know, \u201cWhat are some of your family traditions that you started, and how old were your kids when you started them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think we tend to think of traditions as just being holiday-related; but traditions can be so much broader than that, and I just was thinking about it on a broader sense.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that I think we started early on\u2014that some of you I know do with your children\u2014and that is just bedtime prayers every night with our kids.\u00a0 That\u2019s something that we started when our kids were little, tiny.\u00a0 We don\u2019t tend to think of that as a tradition because I think we do tend to think along holiday lines; but that\u2019s a tradition in your family that your children count on.\u00a0 It becomes a comfort and a security for them to know that these things are going to happen repetitively in their lives\u2014so doing prayers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when our oldest one was about four or five months old.\u00a0 I remember getting angry at her when she was tiny, and just being so shocked that I would get angry at this tiny helpless newborn.\u00a0 But I remember thinking when I experienced that, that I also needed to deal with it.\u00a0 I looked at her, and I thought, \u201cShe doesn\u2019t understand what I feel, and I can\u2019t really ask her to forgive me;\u201d but then I thought, \u201cYes, I can,\u201d even though she can\u2019t respond.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I thought, \u201cI need to begin the practice and the tradition of asking my child to forgive me when I make a mistake even though she can\u2019t respond to me.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s another tradition that we started early on with our kids before they even could understand it\u2014apologizing when we did things wrong, so that they would see that as an example; and we could begin to teach them that whole process of dealing with wrongs and learning to forgive and to ask for forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that we did that was holiday-related\u2014I remember thinking when my kids were little that I didn\u2019t want my children to grow up thinking about Christmas in a real selfish way.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want them thinking for months ahead of time\u2014like I had done, and my brothers had done.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when I was little, we\u2019d sit with the catalog and we\u2019d flip through the pages and mark everything we wanted.\u00a0 It was all about me.\u00a0 It was all about what I wanted and what I was going to get.\u00a0 It was such a self-focus, and I didn\u2019t want my kids to grow up that way.\u00a0 So, one of the things that we decided to do is that we wanted our kids to focus on giving rather than receiving.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we had this little tradition\u2014and Stephanie can comment on this because it\u2019s different\u2014but we still give gifts for each other.\u00a0 We're now into the drawing names stage, but back when our kids were little, even when they had 50 cents, we helped them think about what they were going to give to each other.\u00a0 Then, on Christmas morning, what we do is everybody gets the presents that they purchased that they\u2019re going to give.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, my kids are sitting there, and they\u2019ve got five or six or seven presents sitting around them.\u00a0 Then, we take turns giving.\u00a0 So, I would give my present that I got to Stephanie; and then, it\u2019s her turn to give.\u00a0 So, the whole emphasis is on giving and not receiving; and it\u2019s really been fun to watch my kids.\u00a0 They are so excited about giving, and they can\u2019t wait to give those presents.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that they can\u2019t wait to see what they\u2019re going to get\u2014and it really has sort of worked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, they\u2019re still excited when they\u2019re little about what they get.\u00a0 I mean, they still were kids, and they still loved that part; but it\u2019s just a shift in thinking that I think we can begin to do as moms.\u00a0 So, that\u2019s one of the things that we did when they were younger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong>\u00a0 How young do you think they can start doing that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Probably, three or four or five because you can start helping them.\u00a0 I mean taking them to the dollar store and saying, \u201cWhat do you want to give Daddy this year?\u201d\u00a0 It was fun.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things we\u2019ve done is we\u2019ve made a big deal of Thanksgiving at our house.\u00a0 Every year, we write down the five things that we\u2019re thankful for\u2014and I started doing that when Laura, our youngest, was about two.\u00a0 Of course, she couldn\u2019t write.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got this piece of paper\u2014it\u2019s just a lined notebook paper, 8.5x11 notebook paper with three holes punched in it.\u00a0 I remember asking her, \u201cWhat are you thankful for this year for Thanksgiving?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI\u2019m thankful for my blankie and my Mimi\u201d\u2014and I can\u2019t remember\u2014so, I wrote that down.\u00a0 Then, she scribbled all over it; and I still have that.\u00a0 So, even though she couldn\u2019t write and she was only two years old, I started\u2014we just started that tradition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, every year at Thanksgiving one of the things that we do is everyone writes down five things that they are grateful to God for, for that year.\u00a0 And you can start that with little bitty kids.\u00a0 They may say, \u201cI'm thankful for my toys,\u201d but it\u2019s a beginning.\u00a0 As they get older\u2014we\u2019ve had some wonderful times when our kids would share how grateful they were for a sibling or something; and as a parent, you go, \u201cOh, hallelujah, they like each other.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause you see all the sibling rivalry and you see all that stuff, then, you\u2019ve got this moment where they have some clarity in their thinking; and they say, \u201cI\u2019m grateful for my brother\u201d\u2014especially my boys, when they said they were thankful for each other, I went, \u201cOh, maybe they will not kill each other.\u201d\u00a0 You have those islands of hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I saved all those.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s really been a treasure to have those cards that my kids have written on every year and see their handwriting change and see the maturity as they go from being grateful for their toys to being grateful for their brother to being grateful for God\u2019s Word.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s just been wonderful to see the progression.\u00a0 So, that\u2019s just kind of a smattering.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a new book out\u2014I gave it to all my kids for Christmas\u2014and it\u2019s on traditions.\u00a0 It\u2019s by Noelle Piper.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve heard of it or not.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Treasuring God in our Traditions<\/em>, and it might be something you want to get.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe talks about everything from nightly prayers and all those kinds of, just, little rituals\u2014reading books, I did a lot of reading to my kids ,that kind of thing that we don\u2019t tend to think of as traditions\u2014to holiday kinds of traditions and how you communicate the truth in Scripture to your children.\u00a0 So, I\u2019d recommend that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our family started doing that after hearing about your tradition, and it has been such a special thing just in the last year.\u00a0 We started last Thanksgiving\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to start a book, I thought, to see the progression, like you said, of what they have done.\u00a0 I also wanted you to tell them about the book that you\u2019ve written about Thanksgiving.\u00a0 Because someone gave it to us, and I spent some time reading through it this Thanksgiving; and it\u2019s something I want to be part of reading to our kids.\u00a0 Would you tell them about the book you wrote specifically for Thanksgiving?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, I can do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wrote a book for Thanksgiving, and it\u2019s a read-aloud book.\u00a0 It\u2019s a book that I hope families will read.\u00a0 It\u2019s very pretty, it\u2019s got beautiful pictures, and it looks like a coffee-table book; but I\u2019m hoping that it will be a book that\u2019s used, not just set out for display.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it\u2019s the story of the pilgrims and how our country was founded and how these people endured incredible hardship as families to come to America.\u00a0 It\u2019s the real story of the Christian heritage that we are all enjoying today.\u00a0 I knew my kids weren\u2019t getting it at school.\u00a0 They just weren\u2019t getting it anywhere, and I wanted them to know and understand what they\u2019d been given; because when you understand what you\u2019ve been given and the sacrifice that it cost other people, it\u2019s so much easier to be grateful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we read that story every year at Thanksgiving.\u00a0 We read about them riding on the Mayflower, and the children not\u2014I mean when you see the replica in Plymouth, it\u2019s just astounding that those people survived anyway.\u00a0 And once my kids hear that over and over again, they go, \u201cGosh, I do have things to be thankful for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the goal is for families to read this every year\u2014just like we read a Christmas story every year\u2014to read the Thanksgiving story every year and remind our children of our heritage and what it means to really be grateful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously recorded audio ends]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We've been listening together to Barbara Rainey\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I put the headphones back on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I actually stayed here, so I could listen to what your wife had to say while you went and did some other work.\u00a0 Were you making phone calls?\u00a0 Trying to find another job?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I was listening.\u00a0 I was out around the corner listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It pays to listen to your wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does pay to listen to your wife.\u00a0 She was giving good advice\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Great advice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to moms about marriage and about family.\u00a0 Again, this was recorded in a local church setting in Franklin, Tennessee, at Fellowship Bible Church there.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could tell these moms were paying attention, they were listening.\u00a0 I think younger moms really want to hear from a woman who is a little farther down the path from them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think there are two points of application, besides what Barbara said here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one, if you are a mom whose journey in raising children is about over, you need to start thinking about investing downward in the next generation of moms and giving them courage and cheering them on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, secondly, if you\u2019re one of those young moms and you don't find someone like a Barbara Rainey that can come alongside you, begin to pray and look around your local church or a Bible study you might be in; and see if you can\u2019t find someone that you could set up for a question-and-answer like they did with Barbara and just pick her brain a bit and find out how you juggle all these demands of life and keep priorities and values in proper tension with one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Many of our listeners have heard us talking about the project that Barbara has been involved with recently\u2014and this really ties into her heart for young moms.\u00a0 She wants to provide resources that moms can use around the home, so that the house speaks to the reality of who God is.\u00a0 The house declares the glory of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRecently, she\u2019s developed seven really beautiful Christmas tree ornaments.\u00a0 We call them Adorenaments<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u00a0 Each of the seven is a different Christmas name of Jesus.\u00a0 There\u2019s Jesus, Christ the Lord, Emmanuel, Mighty God, Savior, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace; and these ornaments are a way to decorate your tree, so that the tree keeps pointing you toward Jesus during the Christmas season.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d encourage our listeners: go to FamilyLifeToday.com to see what Barbara\u2019s been working on because it really is beautiful.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been in a room where Barbara\u2019s been speaking to a lot of women and talking about these ornaments and showing them; and the women are all nodding their heads.\u00a0 You can just tell they\u2019re going, \u201cI want that for my house.\u00a0 I want my house to reflect our love for Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Find out more about Barbara\u2019s new set of ornaments, the Adorenaments that she has created.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to take a look at them.\u00a0 You can order all seven, or you can order each different ornament individually if you like.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also call for more information; or if you\u2019d like to order by phone, 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number\u20141-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 Ask about the Christmas ornaments from Barbara Rainey when you get in touch with us, and we can let you know about them and make arrangements to send some to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we think about <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and think about the station you are listening to where you hear <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we really think it\u2019s a partnership.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t do what we do if your local station wasn\u2019t there.\u00a0 You need to know the folks who work at the station work hard.\u00a0 They are committed to bringing quality Christian programming, so that 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you\u2019ve got great Christian programming available in your community.\u00a0 <br><br>We want you to know that you are a part of the partnership as well because the funding for what we do comes from listeners like you who from time to time will get in touch with us and let us know that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> makes a difference in your life, in your marriage, in your family\u2014that you are growing in godliness at home in part because of what you\u2019re hearing on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 <br><br>When you get in touch with us and let us know that that\u2019s the case and you\u2019re able to help us with a donation, that\u2019s what makes <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible.\u00a0 So, we want to say thanks to those of you who have supported us in the past.\u00a0 We appreciate it.\u00a0 We want to ask you today to consider making a donation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are able to make a donation this month, we\u2019d like to send you a two-CD set that features a conversation that Dennis and I had with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, who has written a book called <em>Choosing Gratitude<\/em>.\u00a0 We talked about cultivating a heart of gratefulness and cultivating that in our own heart and in our children\u2019s hearts as well.\u00a0 The two-CD set is our thank you gift to you when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d to make an online donation and request the CDs; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make a donation over the phone, request the CDs when you call, and just be aware that we really are grateful for the part that you play in the partnership that we have here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to join us back tomorrow.\u00a0 Bob the Tomato is going to be here.\u00a0 Our friend, Phil Vischer, is going to stop by to talk about a new project he\u2019s been working on helping children understand why we call it Christmas.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can be here with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.4M"],"filesize_raw":["23487299"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302641.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302641.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top 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Rainey, answers your most perplexing questions about parenting.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-28.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How can a wife communicate with her husband about needs that she sees for their family without nagging him or trying to control him or usurping his leadership?\u00a0 That's one of the questions that was recently put to Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 Here is how she responded.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think you have every responsibility to communicate what you would like to see but do it in a way that\u2014\u201cHow can we work this out in our family?\u00a0 What would you like for me to do?\u00a0 How can I help?\u201d\u00a0 without you taking over.\u00a0 Because communicating is so much of everything in a marriage\u2014it\u2019s understanding where you're coming from, so that he knows your needs and understands what your desire is and what your heart is, but in a way that's nurturing to him so that he can be the leader.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 28<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear today how Barbara Rainey responded to some questions that were put to her recently by a group of young wives and moms.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Bob, you know what?\u00a0 I've been reading some of the mail from our listeners\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and they want you and me out of here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What do you mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They want us off the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, but this is what we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014as in, \u201cTake the pink slip and leave, Cleve.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This is what I do.\u00a0 This is my job.\u00a0 Are you telling me I\u2019m fired?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, we\u2019re both fired.\u00a0 Our listeners want to hear from Barbara, my wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, they have written, they appreciate the fact that we\u2019re now empty-nesters, and that we\u2019re including her in on an increasing number of broadcasts here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 So, frankly, some of them have been so bold to say, \u201cHave you guys thought about a second job?\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I haven\u2019t\u2014but you know she is good, I have to admit.\u00a0 So, today, Bob and I are out of here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It's all up to Barbara today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We're just going to pass the microphone to her.\u00a0 She's actually not here in the studio.\u00a0 Actually, what we want to share with you is a question-and-answer session that she had with a group of young moms in Nashville, Tennessee, at Fellowship Bible Church in Franklin.\u00a0 They invited Barbara to come over and spend some time with the young moms over there; and, fortunately, someone pushed the record button on a tape recorder.\u00a0 So, you and I are out of here, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She was doing her Titus 2 best that day.\u00a0 So, we\u2019ll turn it over to her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm leaving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We'll turn it over to her.\u00a0 Here's Barbara with some young moms:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Tell me when it's over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Okay.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously recorded audio begins]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our first question is with being a mom\u2014and I know you have invested so much in your family and family time.\u00a0 One of the moms asked, \u201cHow can we teach biblical principles throughout the day to preschoolers?\u00a0 And what does spiritual training really look like?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think spiritual training is really parenting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was thinking about some of the things that we teach our children throughout the day and the spiritual principles that we're teaching.\u00a0 For instance, we teach our children to obey.\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s Ephesians 6:1 where it says, \u201cChildren, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.\u201d\u00a0 So, when you\u2019re teaching your child to obey you and to do what you say, to come when you call\u2014all of those things\u2014you\u2019re teaching a biblical principle; and I think sometimes we forget that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother one is the whole idea of giving thanks.\u00a0 When we pray over our meals, we\u2019re teaching our children to be thankful.\u00a0 When we teach them to say \u201cplease\u201d and \u201cthank you\u201d\u2014which was always a big deal for me with my kids\u2014we\u2019re teaching them to be thankful and to have the right attitude; and that\u2019s a Christian attitude, that\u2019s a biblical perspective.\u00a0 I think sometimes we just think it\u2019s a kindness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, where does kindness come from?\u00a0 It comes from God.\u00a0 We wouldn\u2019t be kind if we didn\u2019t know God, and I think we forget that; that we are teaching biblical principles on a daily basis in some of the small things that we do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother one I mentioned, too, is the whole issue of forgiveness.\u00a0 Ephesians 4 tells us to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving.\u00a0 Well, children aren\u2019t naturally kind; they\u2019re not naturally tenderhearted.\u00a0 They are tender\u2014and I don\u2019t want you to think that I\u2019m saying they're not, but they have both.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to train that tender side and reward the tender side and teach them when they\u2019re not tenderhearted and when they\u2019re mean and when they take toys and when they hit and bite and those kinds of things.\u00a0 We have to teach, we have to discipline, and we have to teach the forgiveness side.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, in all of these little daily things\u2014and there are so many daily things about parenting\u2014but in the process of doing those things, you\u2019re teaching your children to be kind and to be tenderhearted to their siblings and to forgive.\u00a0 That\u2019s the basis for what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 Sometimes, we don\u2019t quote the verse to our child when we\u2019re doing it; and we might not be thinking\u2014we\u2019re just thinking, \u201cThis is right\u201d and \u201cThis is not right.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think with toddlers and preschoolers you can be doing a lot of biblical training, but you\u2019re not necessarily memorizing Bible verses.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong>\u00a0 This next one, I think, is something that most of us struggle with.\u00a0 How do we balance making time to play with our kids with all the other things that need to be done?\u00a0 Anybody who can relate to that?\u2014cleaning, laundry, all the things to catch up on?\u00a0 What\u2019s the answer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 There isn\u2019t an answer.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is how I think about balance\u2014and I think about it in all areas of my life\u2014I think about a pendulum.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why I think about a pendulum; but, you know, something that's hanging, and I think about it swinging.\u00a0 How often is it really in dead center?\u00a0 It\u2019s usually here, and I\u2019m out of balance, and I go, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m out of balance here.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to go this way.\u201d\u00a0 So, I go this way.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, I\u2019m out of balance this way.\u00a0 I need to go this way.\u201d\u00a0 So, I go back this way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBalance is something that is perfect, dead center.\u00a0 Well, are we going to ever be perfect?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 So, you kind of need to let yourself off the hook on that.\u00a0 You need to realize that it\u2019s the balance of your overall life.\u00a0 It's the sum total of what you\u2019ve done with your children.\u00a0 It\u2019s not necessarily this minute or \u201cAm I balanced this minute\u201d because you\u2019re probably not going to be.\u00a0 Am I balanced today?\u00a0 Maybe not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, your house may be a mess all day for a week; and by the end of the week, you decide, \u201cI can\u2019t stand it anymore.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to clean it.\u201d\u00a0 You clean all day long and that kind of thing.\u00a0 You can\u2019t maintain a balance of everything every day.\u00a0 It\u2019s impossible.\u00a0 So, I want to say that in the beginning, to let yourself off the hook, because you can\u2019t.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay that you can\u2019t, I think.\u00a0 I really do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the other thing that I would say is that in finding that balance, there are two things you need to decide.\u00a0 One: you kind of need to know yourself.\u00a0 Are you a task person, or are you a relational person?\u00a0 I think we all tend to sort of be one or the other.\u00a0 I tend to be more task-driven than I am relationship-driven.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I always had\u2014that was my struggle in balance is that I was so frustrated because I couldn\u2019t get my tasks done; because I kept having to stop what I was doing to spank somebody or to clean up the spilled milk or to get the laundry in the thing or somebody had a dirty diaper.\u00a0 I just couldn\u2019t stay focused, and that was a real frustration for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, there are people who are more relational-oriented.\u00a0 They won\u2019t get any of the tasks done because they\u2019re having so much fun playing.\u00a0 So I think you need to sort of know yourself and know which direction you need to lean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What battles are worth fighting?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Which are not?\u00a0 Like, you know, we face battles every day: whether they want to put their coat on, what food they\u2019re going to eat, are they going to eat any vegetables, any fruit?\u00a0 You know sibling rivalry. I mean, what is it that really we need to say, \u201cThis is a battle worth fighting?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I wasn\u2019t really sure on that question exactly what direction you were headed.\u00a0 So, my\u2014this is a super-spiritual answer, so you can kind of take it for what it's worth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing I thought of is really the things we need to fight for are the things that God values.\u00a0 I know that\u2019s not getting into particulars\u2014and we can go there\u2014but I was thinking about one of the two things that are going to last for eternity: God\u2019s Word and people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, I think I got caught up in the real picky things, like eating vegetables and some of that kind of stuff, when it really didn't matter; and I would forget that it was the relationship with my child that really mattered.\u00a0 That was more important than whether or not he did exactly or she did exactly what I thought they should do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour children obeying, that\u2019s worth fighting for.\u00a0 Respecting their dad and respecting you, that\u2019s worth fighting for\u2014being kind.\u00a0 So, those biblical values, those things are worth fighting for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One of the moms asked, \u201cWhat is the best way to transition from being a mommy to the wife that my husband needs and that I would love to be?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think this is probably one of the most important questions that we\u2019re going to talk about today because there were some things that I tried to do.\u00a0 The first thing that I think is essential:\u00a0 You have to decide, is your husband going to be number one, or are your kids going to be number one?\u00a0 That's the starting point.\u00a0 If your husband is really going to be the priority\u2014and he really should be the priority over your children\u2014you\u2019ve got to first make that decision and then go from there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, secondly, what am I going to do about it?\u00a0 Okay, he\u2019s number one.\u00a0 How am I going to live that out in my family?\u00a0 How is he going to know that he\u2019s more important than the children?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause if you figure it out\u2014even if you\u2019re working part-time or full-time\u2014your child still is going to get probably more actual time if you measured\u2014counted minutes and hours just because of the demands that it takes to bathe them and feed them and take them to the doctor, and all of the things.\u00a0 They\u2019re still going to\u2014the hours are going to add up that your child is going to win.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what can you do to communicate to your husband that he is still number one in your life?\u00a0 That\u2019s what you've got to figure out.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that I did is I tried, even when my kids were older\u2014I tried to save energy somehow.\u00a0 A lot of times it meant taking naps in the afternoons instead of getting my things done\u2014and I'm a task person.\u00a0 It might mean for me\u2014and it did, many times\u2014that I let my projects go; and during the afternoon when I might get something done that I wanted to get done, I took a nap or just rested\u2014maybe not sleep but rested and did something so that I could save energy for my husband.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that was a hard decision, because it was denying myself those precious hours that I had that I could spend some time doing what I wanted to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother thing is we made getting away together a priority: going out in the evenings or getting away for weekends.\u00a0 I would highly recommend that you get away for a couple of weekends a year, if you can\u2014even if you swap kids with another couple, so that you can get time away for a weekend.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was always easier for me to focus on my husband when my kids weren\u2019t around, because they just want Mom.\u00a0 So, it was easier for me to focus on my husband when I was away from my children, because then I wasn\u2019t so aware of their needs and so drawn to them.\u00a0 It was easier for me to give my husband my attention and the affection and stuff.\u00a0 So that was another practical thing that we did to try to keep that relationship healthy and alive and growing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We would love to know, \u201cWhat are some of your family traditions that you started, and how old were your kids when you started them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think we tend to think of traditions as just being holiday-related; but traditions can be so much broader than that, and I just was thinking about it on a broader sense.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that I think we started early on\u2014that some of you I know do with your children\u2014and that is just bedtime prayers every night with our kids.\u00a0 That\u2019s something that we started when our kids were little, tiny.\u00a0 We don\u2019t tend to think of that as a tradition because I think we do tend to think along holiday lines; but that\u2019s a tradition in your family that your children count on.\u00a0 It becomes a comfort and a security for them to know that these things are going to happen repetitively in their lives\u2014so doing prayers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when our oldest one was about four or five months old.\u00a0 I remember getting angry at her when she was tiny, and just being so shocked that I would get angry at this tiny helpless newborn.\u00a0 But I remember thinking when I experienced that, that I also needed to deal with it.\u00a0 I looked at her, and I thought, \u201cShe doesn\u2019t understand what I feel, and I can\u2019t really ask her to forgive me;\u201d but then I thought, \u201cYes, I can,\u201d even though she can\u2019t respond.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I thought, \u201cI need to begin the practice and the tradition of asking my child to forgive me when I make a mistake even though she can\u2019t respond to me.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s another tradition that we started early on with our kids before they even could understand it\u2014apologizing when we did things wrong, so that they would see that as an example; and we could begin to teach them that whole process of dealing with wrongs and learning to forgive and to ask for forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that we did that was holiday-related\u2014I remember thinking when my kids were little that I didn\u2019t want my children to grow up thinking about Christmas in a real selfish way.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want them thinking for months ahead of time\u2014like I had done, and my brothers had done.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when I was little, we\u2019d sit with the catalog and we\u2019d flip through the pages and mark everything we wanted.\u00a0 It was all about me.\u00a0 It was all about what I wanted and what I was going to get.\u00a0 It was such a self-focus, and I didn\u2019t want my kids to grow up that way.\u00a0 So, one of the things that we decided to do is that we wanted our kids to focus on giving rather than receiving.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we had this little tradition\u2014and Stephanie can comment on this because it\u2019s different\u2014but we still give gifts for each other.\u00a0 We're now into the drawing names stage, but back when our kids were little, even when they had 50 cents, we helped them think about what they were going to give to each other.\u00a0 Then, on Christmas morning, what we do is everybody gets the presents that they purchased that they\u2019re going to give.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, my kids are sitting there, and they\u2019ve got five or six or seven presents sitting around them.\u00a0 Then, we take turns giving.\u00a0 So, I would give my present that I got to Stephanie; and then, it\u2019s her turn to give.\u00a0 So, the whole emphasis is on giving and not receiving; and it\u2019s really been fun to watch my kids.\u00a0 They are so excited about giving, and they can\u2019t wait to give those presents.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that they can\u2019t wait to see what they\u2019re going to get\u2014and it really has sort of worked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, they\u2019re still excited when they\u2019re little about what they get.\u00a0 I mean, they still were kids, and they still loved that part; but it\u2019s just a shift in thinking that I think we can begin to do as moms.\u00a0 So, that\u2019s one of the things that we did when they were younger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong>\u00a0 How young do you think they can start doing that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Probably, three or four or five because you can start helping them.\u00a0 I mean taking them to the dollar store and saying, \u201cWhat do you want to give Daddy this year?\u201d\u00a0 It was fun.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things we\u2019ve done is we\u2019ve made a big deal of Thanksgiving at our house.\u00a0 Every year, we write down the five things that we\u2019re thankful for\u2014and I started doing that when Laura, our youngest, was about two.\u00a0 Of course, she couldn\u2019t write.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got this piece of paper\u2014it\u2019s just a lined notebook paper, 8.5x11 notebook paper with three holes punched in it.\u00a0 I remember asking her, \u201cWhat are you thankful for this year for Thanksgiving?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI\u2019m thankful for my blankie and my Mimi\u201d\u2014and I can\u2019t remember\u2014so, I wrote that down.\u00a0 Then, she scribbled all over it; and I still have that.\u00a0 So, even though she couldn\u2019t write and she was only two years old, I started\u2014we just started that tradition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, every year at Thanksgiving one of the things that we do is everyone writes down five things that they are grateful to God for, for that year.\u00a0 And you can start that with little bitty kids.\u00a0 They may say, \u201cI'm thankful for my toys,\u201d but it\u2019s a beginning.\u00a0 As they get older\u2014we\u2019ve had some wonderful times when our kids would share how grateful they were for a sibling or something; and as a parent, you go, \u201cOh, hallelujah, they like each other.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause you see all the sibling rivalry and you see all that stuff, then, you\u2019ve got this moment where they have some clarity in their thinking; and they say, \u201cI\u2019m grateful for my brother\u201d\u2014especially my boys, when they said they were thankful for each other, I went, \u201cOh, maybe they will not kill each other.\u201d\u00a0 You have those islands of hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I saved all those.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s really been a treasure to have those cards that my kids have written on every year and see their handwriting change and see the maturity as they go from being grateful for their toys to being grateful for their brother to being grateful for God\u2019s Word.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s just been wonderful to see the progression.\u00a0 So, that\u2019s just kind of a smattering.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a new book out\u2014I gave it to all my kids for Christmas\u2014and it\u2019s on traditions.\u00a0 It\u2019s by Noelle Piper.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve heard of it or not.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Treasuring God in our Traditions<\/em>, and it might be something you want to get.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe talks about everything from nightly prayers and all those kinds of, just, little rituals\u2014reading books, I did a lot of reading to my kids ,that kind of thing that we don\u2019t tend to think of as traditions\u2014to holiday kinds of traditions and how you communicate the truth in Scripture to your children.\u00a0 So, I\u2019d recommend that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our family started doing that after hearing about your tradition, and it has been such a special thing just in the last year.\u00a0 We started last Thanksgiving\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Moderator:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to start a book, I thought, to see the progression, like you said, of what they have done.\u00a0 I also wanted you to tell them about the book that you\u2019ve written about Thanksgiving.\u00a0 Because someone gave it to us, and I spent some time reading through it this Thanksgiving; and it\u2019s something I want to be part of reading to our kids.\u00a0 Would you tell them about the book you wrote specifically for Thanksgiving?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, I can do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wrote a book for Thanksgiving, and it\u2019s a read-aloud book.\u00a0 It\u2019s a book that I hope families will read.\u00a0 It\u2019s very pretty, it\u2019s got beautiful pictures, and it looks like a coffee-table book; but I\u2019m hoping that it will be a book that\u2019s used, not just set out for display.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it\u2019s the story of the pilgrims and how our country was founded and how these people endured incredible hardship as families to come to America.\u00a0 It\u2019s the real story of the Christian heritage that we are all enjoying today.\u00a0 I knew my kids weren\u2019t getting it at school.\u00a0 They just weren\u2019t getting it anywhere, and I wanted them to know and understand what they\u2019d been given; because when you understand what you\u2019ve been given and the sacrifice that it cost other people, it\u2019s so much easier to be grateful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we read that story every year at Thanksgiving.\u00a0 We read about them riding on the Mayflower, and the children not\u2014I mean when you see the replica in Plymouth, it\u2019s just astounding that those people survived anyway.\u00a0 And once my kids hear that over and over again, they go, \u201cGosh, I do have things to be thankful for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the goal is for families to read this every year\u2014just like we read a Christmas story every year\u2014to read the Thanksgiving story every year and remind our children of our heritage and what it means to really be grateful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously recorded audio ends]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We've been listening together to Barbara Rainey\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I put the headphones back on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I actually stayed here, so I could listen to what your wife had to say while you went and did some other work.\u00a0 Were you making phone calls?\u00a0 Trying to find another job?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I was listening.\u00a0 I was out around the corner listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It pays to listen to your wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does pay to listen to your wife.\u00a0 She was giving good advice\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Great advice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to moms about marriage and about family.\u00a0 Again, this was recorded in a local church setting in Franklin, Tennessee, at Fellowship Bible Church there.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could tell these moms were paying attention, they were listening.\u00a0 I think younger moms really want to hear from a woman who is a little farther down the path from them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think there are two points of application, besides what Barbara said here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one, if you are a mom whose journey in raising children is about over, you need to start thinking about investing downward in the next generation of moms and giving them courage and cheering them on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, secondly, if you\u2019re one of those young moms and you don't find someone like a Barbara Rainey that can come alongside you, begin to pray and look around your local church or a Bible study you might be in; and see if you can\u2019t find someone that you could set up for a question-and-answer like they did with Barbara and just pick her brain a bit and find out how you juggle all these demands of life and keep priorities and values in proper tension with one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Many of our listeners have heard us talking about the project that Barbara has been involved with recently\u2014and this really ties into her heart for young moms.\u00a0 She wants to provide resources that moms can use around the home, so that the house speaks to the reality of who God is.\u00a0 The house declares the glory of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRecently, she\u2019s developed seven really beautiful Christmas tree ornaments.\u00a0 We call them Adorenaments<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u00a0 Each of the seven is a different Christmas name of Jesus.\u00a0 There\u2019s Jesus, Christ the Lord, Emmanuel, Mighty God, Savior, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace; and these ornaments are a way to decorate your tree, so that the tree keeps pointing you toward Jesus during the Christmas season.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d encourage our listeners: go to FamilyLifeToday.com to see what Barbara\u2019s been working on because it really is beautiful.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been in a room where Barbara\u2019s been speaking to a lot of women and talking about these ornaments and showing them; and the women are all nodding their heads.\u00a0 You can just tell they\u2019re going, \u201cI want that for my house.\u00a0 I want my house to reflect our love for Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Find out more about Barbara\u2019s new set of ornaments, the Adorenaments that she has created.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to take a look at them.\u00a0 You can order all seven, or you can order each different ornament individually if you like.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also call for more information; or if you\u2019d like to order by phone, 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number\u20141-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 Ask about the Christmas ornaments from Barbara Rainey when you get in touch with us, and we can let you know about them and make arrangements to send some to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we think about <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and think about the station you are listening to where you hear <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we really think it\u2019s a partnership.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t do what we do if your local station wasn\u2019t there.\u00a0 You need to know the folks who work at the station work hard.\u00a0 They are committed to bringing quality Christian programming, so that 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you\u2019ve got great Christian programming available in your community.\u00a0 <br><br>We want you to know that you are a part of the partnership as well because the funding for what we do comes from listeners like you who from time to time will get in touch with us and let us know that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> makes a difference in your life, in your marriage, in your family\u2014that you are growing in godliness at home in part because of what you\u2019re hearing on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 <br><br>When you get in touch with us and let us know that that\u2019s the case and you\u2019re able to help us with a donation, that\u2019s what makes <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible.\u00a0 So, we want to say thanks to those of you who have supported us in the past.\u00a0 We appreciate it.\u00a0 We want to ask you today to consider making a donation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are able to make a donation this month, we\u2019d like to send you a two-CD set that features a conversation that Dennis and I had with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, who has written a book called <em>Choosing Gratitude<\/em>.\u00a0 We talked about cultivating a heart of gratefulness and cultivating that in our own heart and in our children\u2019s hearts as well.\u00a0 The two-CD set is our thank you gift to you when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d to make an online donation and request the CDs; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make a donation over the phone, request the CDs when you call, and just be aware that we really are grateful for the part that you play in the partnership that we have here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to join us back tomorrow.\u00a0 Bob the Tomato is going to be here.\u00a0 Our friend, Phil Vischer, is going to stop by to talk about a new project he\u2019s been working on helping children understand why we call it Christmas.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can be here with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302641"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302641"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302641"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302641"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}