{"id":302636,"date":"2012-11-21T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-11-21T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/why-me\/"},"modified":"2012-11-21T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-11-21T17:00:00","slug":"why-me","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Me?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Has God ever let you down?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-21.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.96M","filesize_raw":"24078845","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[4280,4299,4899],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9167],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302636","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-death","tag-faith","tag-tragedy","cwp_profile-jerry-sittser","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302636\/why-me","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302636\/why-me","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2nNRoA6O6h\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-me\/\">Why Me?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-me\/embed\/#?secret=2nNRoA6O6h\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Why Me?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"2nNRoA6O6h\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Has God ever let you down?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-21.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jerry Sittser will never forget the moment when a car crossed the center line and hit his car head on, claiming the lives of his mother, his wife, and his young daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I bet a tape played a thousand times of figuring out how I could reverse the events of that day.\u00a0 I\u2019d stop at a stop sign for one second longer.\u00a0 I\u2019d change the seating in the van; anything that would give me that two second window of time that would have spared us that tragedy because I didn\u2019t want it to be true.\u00a0 Who <em>would<\/em> want it to be true?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I started thinking I\u2019d want to reverse this and I\u2019d want to reverse that because I want a perfect life.\u00a0 But that\u2019s not what the Gospel promises us.\u00a0 The Gospel promises us a resurrected life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 21st. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk today about finding God in the midst of pain and sorrow and suffering.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to revisit a subject today that we\u2019ve spent some time exploring; but we thought there were some aspects of this particular topic that we really needed to unpack a little further, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 Suffering is such a part of life and I think a part of the Christian life.\u00a0 I look back on my beginning steps of faith and it was so much of a Pollyanna faith, thinking that there was going to be this life of blessing and obedience.\u00a0 You know, I\u2019ve failed many times and there have been valleys and mountaintops and all sorts of terrain in between.\u00a0 In the midst of all of it, God is there.\u00a0 He uses those valleys to shape and mark us in profound ways.\u00a0 I\u2019m grateful to my wife who joins us on the broadcast; Barbara, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara Rainey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She gave me this book <em>A Grace Disguised<\/em> which is subtitled <em>How the Soul Grows through Loss<\/em>; it\u2019s by our guest on today\u2019s broadcast, Dr. Jerry Sittser.\u00a0 Jerry, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s an honor to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jerry is Professor of Theology at Whitworth University.\u00a0 He has his doctorate in history from the University of Chicago and he\u2019s a Dodger fan.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe found that out on a previous broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we also found out on a previous broadcast about your experience more than 18 years ago.\u00a0\u00a0 You and your family were traveling back from Idaho to Washington when a car swerved across the middle line and came right at you.\u00a0 There was a subsequent car accident that took the life of your wife, your youngest daughter, and your mother.\u00a0 It left you and three children as survivors who have had to deal with this issue of loss over the last two decades now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Jerry, you\u2019ve been gracious to allow us to peer into what God has taught you around this subject.\u00a0 Again, I\u2019m grateful that Barbara passed your book on because we needed your advice and your story to identify with as we went through the loss of a granddaughter with our daughter Rebecca and her husband Jake.\u00a0 This was the book that most ministered to us in that process.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the questions that people ask when they go through a period of suffering is\u2026\u00a0 It\u2019s a two word question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>Why me?\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s a reflective question.\u00a0 You can\u2019t help but ask that question: \u201cWhy me?\u201d\u00a0 We often blame God in the wake of some kind of loss.\u00a0 We think that He\u2019s in control of the universe and He simply failed to do His job.\u00a0 I asked that question, too.\u00a0 \u201cWhy me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut somewhere along the line a friend challenged me and said, \u201cWhy not you?\u201d\u00a0 It got my mind thinking down a different track than I had previously thought about.\u00a0 Why not me?\u00a0 Why should I be different from the rest of fallen and struggling humanity?\u00a0 Why should I be somehow spared?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think behind the why me question was this expectation that I really have a right to this sort of nice middle class life, a gated community, with three or four wonderful kids, all of whom are going to have children and live within a mile of my house.\u00a0 We\u2019ll all go to the same church and all play soccer and musical instruments.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I started to ask the question, \u201cWhy not me?\u201d it opened up a whole new world for me, not to just think about, but to feel deeply.\u00a0 For example, I started to think about my identification with the rest of the world.\u00a0 There are people whose daily life is constant suffering.\u00a0 They are refugees.\u00a0 They experience war.\u00a0 They are in a society where they have to struggle constantly with malnutrition or AIDS or something like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not talking about a handful of people.\u00a0 We are talking about hundreds of millions of people.\u00a0 Why is it that my life should be better than theirs?\u00a0 Now, I know this sounds kind of harsh and even kind of preachy to say, but you have to realize I was thinking and feeling this myself.\u00a0 This was my own personal struggle to ask the question, \u201cWhy not me? Why should I live a privileged life?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you one of the things it did - it caused me to rethink what I was expecting from the Christian life in the first place.\u00a0 I started thinking more in terms of holiness of life; impact of my life.\u00a0 I started thinking differently about how I was going to raise my kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTen years after the accident I took my kids to Kenya for a summer and I taught at a university.\u00a0 My kids did service at a Mother Teresa orphanage over the course of the summer.\u00a0 You have to think about what this is like.\u00a0 At the time, they were 17, 15, and 11.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 They would ride this van through a slum of 250,000 people, cardboard shacks, corrugated tin.\u00a0 No plumbing.\u00a0 No electricity.\u00a0 No services whatsoever; just a sea of suffering humanity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen they would go into this little gated orphanage that had 90 percent kids that either had AIDS or were the children of AIDS victims, lots of disabilities.\u00a0 They would spend five or six hours just caring for these kids: playing with them, feeding them, rocking them, working with these African nuns.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will tell you - it had an impact on the lives of my children!\u00a0 As they thought about this part of humanity:\u00a0 Did these children choose any of these things?\u00a0 Was this the product of the course that they had set for their lives?\u00a0 They were victims like we were.\u00a0 It gave us a sense of kind of identifying with the larger community of suffering around the world.\u00a0 We found it profoundly meaningful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is also a community of suffering throughout history within the Christian faith as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is.\u00a0 I teach \u201cHistory of Christianity\u201d as a part of my living at a university.\u00a0 One of my goals in my teaching is to help my students realize that we are talking about realpeople.\u00a0 Sometimes I tell them personal stories of suffering.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of those stories is about a famous Christian leader who gave birth to the reformation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Martin Luther.\u00a0 Luther was a monk - an Augustinian monk - and obviously, when he gave his vows to become a monk, he was assuming he wouldn\u2019t marry.\u00a0 He stayed single until he was 40, but after the reformation got underway he chose to marry as a witness, a witness to the Gospel.\u00a0\u00a0 As he said, \u201cI\u2019m choosing to marry to please my father and to spite the Pope.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 And he could be kind of nasty and a little sarcastic sometimes.\u00a0 He married at the age of 40.\u00a0 He married Katharina von Bora, a nun who was 26.\u00a0 She had been smuggled out of a nunnery in an empty pickle barrel.\u00a0 He tried to marry her off to somebody else but couldn\u2019t find someone, so he married her himself.\u00a0 (Laughter) \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s at the age of 40 when he marries - just imagine this.\u00a0 She is 26 and they had six children.\u00a0 They lived quite a life.\u00a0 They really were, kind of, architects of our modern notion of family life.\u00a0 They took over an old monastery.\u00a0 They had people living with them; sometimes thirty people \u2013 riffraff, students, elderly.\u00a0 She became an excellent herbalist and raised a big garden.\u00a0 They raised those six children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you were speaking of unwrapping these stories of great Christian leaders in history around their suffering.\u00a0 Martin Luther and his wife were no strangers to that aspect of the Christian faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 They weren\u2019t.\u00a0 They had six children, as I said.\u00a0 Two of them died; one in infancy.\u00a0 The other one, the more painful experience for Martin Luther was the loss of Magdalena when she was 13.\u00a0 In his <em>Table Talk<\/em>, there are several pages devoted to the loss of Magdalena by both Luther\u2019s reflections as well as some other people.\u00a0 It\u2019s just powerful.\u00a0 It is a moving story of loss.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHistory is full of these kinds of examples.\u00a0 What I discovered is that I belong to a community of suffering; not just around the world, but one that goes through all of history.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jerry, you\u2019ve talked about how we become conditioned to this entitlement mentality.\u00a0 We just grow up expecting that life should and will go right for us and we will not experience suffering.\u00a0 I think there is another aspect.\u00a0 I think there are some who look at their faithfulness or obedience to Christ and think, \u201cIf I am faithful and obedient, then God owes me a life that does not include suffering.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or, \u201cIf I have enough faith, I\u2019ll never suffer.\u201d Or, \u201cIf I do suffer, my faith is going to be able to reverse it.\u201d\u00a0 You know, there is a lot of teaching out there in the Christian community today that almost gives us this impression that we can pretty much get our way.\u00a0 As if God is kind of a vending machine and if we figure out how to pray the right formulas or how to conjure up enough faith, we\u2019ll be able to have God do for us what we think He ought to do.\u00a0 We have a very narrow understanding of what that is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn other words, we are hungry for miracles.\u00a0 Now, I believe in miracles.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen miracles.\u00a0 I had a deadly disease when I was 28 and I was on my deathbed.\u00a0 My doctors called in the family and said, \u201cSay goodbye to him.\u201d\u00a0 And I recovered.\u00a0 I recovered quickly and miraculously from that, so I\u2019m not a stranger to miracles.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do not think that miracles are a guarantee that we are going to live this perfect, nice, convenient, middle-class existence.\u00a0 Miracles occur to be witnesses to the power of the Gospel and God\u2019s resurrection life.\u00a0 They don\u2019t happen all the time.\u00a0 Jesus didn\u2019t heal everybody.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t feed everybody.\u00a0 He did it on occasion to bear witness to His identity as the Son of God and Savior of the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem with a miracle is that it gives us a reversal of something; but that reversal does not mean life is going to be perfect from that moment on.\u00a0 I think, for example, of the raising of Lazarus.\u00a0 He was resuscitated from the dead.\u00a0 When Jesus delayed His visit for a couple of days, Mary met Him at the road and said, \u201cLord, if You had been here, this would not have happened.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s a very typical statement that all of us have said before God.\u00a0 \u201cIf you had been here, this would not have happened.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Jesus came through.\u00a0 Jesus resuscitated Lazarus and he came back to life.\u00a0 The problem with the miracle is that Lazarus died again.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know how.\u00a0 He might have died of cancer five years later.\u00a0 It might have been hideous and prolonged.\u00a0 The real miracle of that story is not the resuscitation of Lazarus; it\u2019s what Jesus said before He raised him.\u00a0 He said, \u201cI am the resurrection and the life.\u201d\u00a0 We want reversals.\u00a0 The Gospel promises us a resurrection.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Barbara and I just got away for a weekend and we had a lot of conversations as we were driving to our location.\u00a0 Earlier, you mentioned how Martin Luther had six children \u2013 well, that\u2019s the number we have.\u00a0 It is interesting how as we started out our marriage and family together, we had these ideals, what we thought an ideal family ought to be and what we hoped it would become.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not that the ideals are wrong; it\u2019s just that in the midst of life those ideals aren\u2019t always all realized, and that is what you are saying here.\u00a0 God is using all of life to draw us to Himself and to get through to us in our selfishness, our sinfulness and to be able to communicate to us that He is the God of resurrection and that our hope, ultimately, needs to be in Him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 God works redemption in lives.\u00a0 You think about all these great biblical stories.\u00a0 There are dark aspects to a lot of these stories, including mine and including yours.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wish I could reverse what happened.\u00a0 I remember in the weeks and months after the accident:\u00a0 I bet a tape played a thousand times of figuring out how I could reverse the events of that day.\u00a0 I\u2019d stop at a stop sign for one second longer.\u00a0 I\u2019d change the seating in the van; anything that would give me that two second window of time that would have spared us that tragedy, because I didn\u2019t want it to be true.\u00a0 Who <em>would<\/em> want it to be true?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, in a conversation with my brother-in-law, he said, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m going to concede it to you.\u00a0 You get them back again.\u00a0 You have life exactly as you had it and wanted it.\u00a0 Fine.\u00a0 Now, what happens if five years after that, Linda got breast cancer?\u00a0 You\u2019d want to change that, too, right?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOf course I would.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOr what happens if Dinah Jane had become wayward?\u00a0\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t want that either.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOh, no, no.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cSo, you\u2019d want to reverse that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I started thinking, \u201cI\u2019d want to reverse this; I\u2019d want to reverse that, because I want a perfect life.\u201d\u00a0 But that is not what the Gospel promises us.\u00a0 The Gospel promises us a resurrected life and redemption.\u00a0 That redemption can occur through a family of four that used to be a family of six, and that has been our experience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have six stockings that we put up over the fireplace at Christmas.\u00a0 Only four people are alive.\u00a0 But our lives are rich with meaning and purpose and faith.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a beautiful story in its own kind of strange way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You do have a hope that, although you are separated, there will be a reunion, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 There will be a reunion.\u00a0 Glorious!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara and I talk about this all the time -- about the hope of heaven and how we both look forward to heaven and how, increasingly it seems, that although this life is purposeful and rich as you describe it, and that God is really good to us now, what we long for isn\u2019t really here.\u00a0 What we long for is a face-to-face meeting with Him and a stripping away of all the selfishness and of all the suffering that you are talking about, where there will be no more tears and sorrow and suffering. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry: <\/strong>\u00a0I want to say that I had a wonderful conversation with my eight-year-old son.\u00a0 Then he was eight; he\u2019s 24 now.\u00a0 We were on our way to a soccer game and it was about a half hour away and, out of nowhere, he says to me, \u201cDo you think Mom sees us now?\u201d\u00a0 This was typical for David.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI looked at him and I said, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u00a0 Keep going, David.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWell, if Mom sees us and she is in heaven where there is only happiness and joy, how could she stand to see us in our suffering and our pain?\u00a0 How could she stand to see us sad all the time?\u201d\u00a0 Eight years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I asked him a few more questions and pondered it and then this is what I said to him\u2014one of those few moments when I\u2019m on; most of the time I\u2019m not, but this one I was\u2014I said to him, \u201cBecause she sees how everything is going to turn out and that gives her joy.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I believe that people in heaven experience reality.\u00a0 It\u2019s substantial.\u00a0 It\u2019s more real than we could take.\u00a0 We live in shadow.\u00a0 Linda and Dinah Jane and my mom - they live in reality and some day I\u2019m going to join them there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They know the rest of the story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 They know the rest of the story.\u00a0 They transcend it.\u00a0 They see its beginning and they see its end.\u00a0 They experience it simultaneously all at the same time.\u00a0 It\u2019s a beautiful story.\u00a0 It\u2019s got some bad chapters; but, you know, when you read great novels - really great novels \u2013 you have all of these sections where you kind of gasp at the suffering and you wonder, \u201cOh my gosh, how could anything turn out well here?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Until you get to the end and then you breathe a sigh of relief and you realize that part of the greatness of the story was the sadness of some of those chapters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You teach a class with your students where you get away for almost a month of solitude.\u00a0 It\u2019s a mini-monastic experience that you take them on, right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You said that you read to them each night.\u00a0 One of the things you read is <em>The Chronicles of Narnia<\/em>.\u00a0 As you were talking about this, I was envisioning that breakthrough in the seventh book where the wall is pierced and where the children find themselves on the other side of the curtain.\u00a0 All of a sudden, life looks different than it has ever looked and they have left the shadow lands and now they are in what has never been more real.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and there is a wonderful image where they ascend this hill and they come to this garden.\u00a0 The garden is gated.\u00a0 When they are looking at the garden from the outside, it seems smaller; but when they get inside, it is bigger than the world they left behind.\u00a0 This is what it means to have Christian hope.\u00a0\u00a0 We are being prepared for a world that is simply bigger than the one we\u2019ve experienced now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That really is the message of Jesus Christ and of the Bible.\u00a0 It really does bring purpose and hope to whatever we are facing today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJerry, I wanted to ask you one more question about how you helped your kids process loss.\u00a0 Undoubtedly, we have listeners right now who are in the midst of a loss; maybe it\u2019s a divorce; maybe it\u2019s a loss of a loved one or a loss of a job or loss of health.\u00a0 What would you say was the most important thing you did with your kids to help them really discover God in the midst of this process as well?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I did two things that, as I look back now, were very meaningful and useful.\u00a0 The first was stability.\u00a0 I really established a good routine.\u00a0 Bible reading during meal times, prayers, a clear bed time ritual, because they were very young at the time, and reading aloud to them great literature. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d sing hymns to them every night. I probably had a repertoire of about 60 hymns I sang to them; prayers that we would pray and that sort of thing.\u00a0 Trips, vacations that we would take, including service kinds of things - routines that were meaningful and stable for them.\u00a0 I was very consistent with that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing is I would look for cues. I think that all of us, but especially children, give cues, if we are attentive, if we\u2019re watching them.\u00a0 I kept a journal on each of them, by the way, just scratching out notes as I was watching what was happening to them on this journey that they were on, too.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith each of my kids, there were five or six key occasions when they gave me a cue that they were ready to do some work, ready to talk about something, ready to cry and explore something.\u00a0 I wanted to be attentive to those cues that they gave me so I could respond appropriately, instead of imposing, forcing them to be adults, because we have a kind of rational component to us, we can do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think kids can.\u00a0 I think they will give their own cues when they are ready to do that work.\u00a0 We need to be ready to respond.\u00a0 The best place for that to happen is the safety of the home.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you took those notes and scribbled a few of them in this book and passed them on to our family, because we needed them as we went through a difficult period of time.\u00a0 I just appreciate you joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 I now have a better idea, Bob, why Jerry was voted the most popular professor on campus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You want to enroll?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Seven times.\u00a0 Well, I would like to take his \u201cHistory of the Christian Faith\u201d class, but it\u2019s not available on the internet yet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 And won\u2019t be either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks for doing your duty and coming down to Arkansas and being on our broadcast, Jerry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what we do have on the internet?\u00a0 We do have copies of two of Jerry\u2019s books: the first book that he wrote, <em>A Grace Disguised, <\/em>which talks about the loss of his wife, his daughter, and his mom in a car accident more than 20 years ago; and then, his most recent book 20 years later, called <em>A Grace Revealed<\/em>, where he looks back on how God uses suffering redemptively in our lives.\u00a0 We talked a lot about that book last week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to encourage our listeners to go online today at FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about how you can get either of Jerry\u2019s books.\u00a0 Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call toll-free at 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY\u201d for more information about the books by Jerry Sittser.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, of course, tomorrow we celebrate Thanksgiving here in the United States.\u00a0 We ought to experience and celebrate thanksgiving every day in our lives as Christians.\u00a0 In fact, the Bible says, \u201cBe thankful in everything.\u00a0 In everything, give thanks to God.\u201d\u00a0 The issue of gratitude is something that we can choose.\u00a0 We had a conversation about that not long ago with our friend Nancy Leigh DeMoss, who has written a book called <em>Choosing Gratitude<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re making CDs of our conversation with Nancy available for those of you who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation here during the month of November.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d\u00a0 When you make an online donation, you can request the \u201cChoosing Gratitude\u201d CDs with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.\u00a0 Or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY - 1-800-358-6329 \u2013 to make a donation over the phone and ask for the CDs on gratitude when you get in touch with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say how grateful we are for those of you who help support this radio program.\u00a0 We could not do it without you and we appreciate those of you who take a minute from time to time and call or go online and make a $25 or $50 or $100 donation or more.\u00a0 Thank you so much for your support of what God is doing through the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 On Thanksgiving Day, we\u2019re going to welcome in our friends, songwriters \u2013 hymn writers, actually \u2013 Keith and Kristen Getty.\u00a0 They\u2019ll join us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear some of the songs from their new CD and talk about modern hymns.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302636","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302636"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302636"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302636"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302636"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}